[FLUTTERRAPE] Recon Mission

I LOVE SHORTS.
THEY'RE COMFORTABLE AND EASY TO WRITE.

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"Command? Come in, command."
>...
>"This is command, we read you, Anonymous."
"I've hit planetside, no major problems so far. Visual feed is damaged but I can just provide description myself; weapons systems are functional and life support is running with no problems."
>"Good to hear, Anonymous. Begin the search."

"Command?"
>"We hear you."
"Terrain is suitable, plantlife is abundant, air seems to be breathable."
>"Understood; don't remove your visor just yet, remain in your suit."
"Yes, command. Should I search for second grade lifeforms?"
>...
"Command?"
>"We hear you, Anonymous; commence the search, use of lethal force is only granted in self-defence scenarios, understood?"
"Understood."

>"Come in, Anonymous."
"I'm here, Command."
>"What's the situation like down there?"
"Everything is fine. Peaceful, even."
>"Update on the lifeforms?"
"Plantlife continues to become more complex, the area is similar to Earth's biosphere. Seen a few second grade lifeforms: birds and rabbits."
>"Say again, Anonymous, did you say 'birds and rabbits'?"
"I did. More energetic than the kind we have back on Earth, but I can confirm that this planet has lifeforms more or less identical to our own."
>"Holy-- Uh, carry on, Anonymous."

"Command. Come in, command."
>"What's the situation, Anonymous?"
"I have found fourth grade lifeforms."
>...
>"...Are you certain?"
"I am looking at houses right now. I see sapients moving around down there."
>"What are they doing?"
"Talking; playing; laughing. It's a fully fledged civilisation."
>...
"Com--"
>"Anonymous, you are ordered to -not- engage or interfere, understood?"
"Understood, command. What should I do?"
>"Maintain your distance and try to remain hidden."
"Shit."

1/?

>"Anonymous?"
"Command, one of them saw me."
>"Retreat from the area to these coordinates, arm your weapon and prepare to defend yourself if necessary."
"Understood, relocating."

>"Come in, Anonymous."
"Hhh..."
>"Anonymous, are you there?"
"Yeah... Just catching my breath... They're fast..."
>"Are you injured?"
"No, just out of breath; had to run to escape them."
>"Can you confirm them as hostile?"
"Not hostile; curious."
>...
>"Anonymous, what is your current location?"
"Not far from the coordinates I received, lots of trees and tall grass; it comes up to my chest. The aliens are nowhere to be seen."
>"Can you return to your previous location, the one with the houses?"
"I could, though they might be waiting for me."
>"Understood. Try and find a way to monitor them without alerting--"
"They've found me."
>"Anonym--"
"Shitshitshit."
>"Anonymous! Use force if necessary!"
>...
>"Anonymous?"
"Not... Now, command!"
>"Use your Ibrix Cannon!"
"Arming... now..."
>...
>"Anonymous?"
"It's stopped coming."
>"What did you do?"
"Fired at a nearby tree."
>"Any collateral damage?"
"No, tree was obliterated, and I think that gave it the message."
>"They are no longer chasing you?"
"It, command."
>"'It'?"
"Just one. Thought there were more because of the grass moving, but it was just one."
>"Can you get a visual?"
"I'm looking at it right now."
>"Can you... Describe it?"
"Yellow. Looks like a horse, has wings."
>"...A flying yellow horse. Are you sure--"
"Completely sure, command. It is a flying yellow horse."
>"...What is it doing now?"
"Watching me."
>"Are you hurt?"
"No. Just shaken, I've got my weapon pointed at it."
>"How large is it."
"Quite small. Maybe four feet tall?"
>"Any offensive features?"
"A bright pink mane."
>"That's not-- be serious, Anonymous."
"No. No claws or anything. Just seemed very intent on chasing me."

2/?

>"Are you sure it wasn't... playing?"
"Possible. Didn't want to take the risk."
>"Understandable. Keep your distance for now."
>...
"It's moving closer."
>"Maintain distance."
"It's still coming."
>"Can you retreat?"
"I could, but it's got wings."
>"It's actually capable of flight?"
"I thought it might be like a chicken, only able to hover, but no; it can actually fly."
>"Fire a warning shot."
>...
"Still coming."
>"Okay, keep your visor down and activate shielding."
"Shields online."
>"Stand your ground, but be ready for anything."
"Understood."
>...
>"Anonymous?"
"Still coming. She's taking her time."
>"She?"
"Sorry, just looks like a female. Pink mane and all."
>"Don't make judgements on gender just yet, Anonymous; they could be genderle--"
"Female."
>"Can you confirm?"
"Yes. She's rubbing her vagina against my visor."
>...
>"...Anonymous, please repeat that last?"
"The alien lifeform is hovering using her wings, and is rubbing her vagina between her legs against my visor."
>...
"She's winking at me."
>"Anonymous are you bein--"
"Yes. I am being completely serious. I would provide a visual feed but the feed was damaged in the landing process."
>...
>"Is she still doing it?"
"Yes."
>"...Damage... uh, report?"
"My visor is covered in goo. Shielding isn't doing anything."
>"Are your shields offline?"
"Well no, they react to extreme kinetic energy, like blasts and frag rounds. She's not really doing anything rough; just kinda rubbing herself against me."
>...
"Like a cat."
>"Can you make contact with her?"
>...
"Hello?"
>"We read you, Anonymous."
"No, not you, the alien; I'm keeping the feed open so you can hear what I'm saying."
>"Good thinking, Anonymous."
"Hello? Can you understand me?"
>...
>"Anything yet?"
"She seems shocked that I can talk."
>"What is she doing now?"
"Whimpering and trying to pry off my visor. I think she's trying to get to me."

3/?

>"Keep it sealed. Don't let her in for any reason."
"Trust me, I won't."
>...
"God dammit."
>"Anonymous?"
"I touched her."
>"You touched her?"
"I held her in my hands and put her on the floor to try and get her to stop."
>"How did she react? Violently?"
"No, she just seems more determined to get inside my suit."
>...
"She's gone back to rubbing her vagina all over it."
>"Anonymous, are there any other lifeforms in the area?"
"I'd check, but she isn't even showing up on my radar. Not sure why that is."
>"Is it broken?"
"Hold on... yeah, actually, it is."
>"Do a systems check, some of your more sensitive instruments might have been damaged during planetfall."
>...
"Yeah, visual feed offline, radar offline, homing beacon offline, radiation shielding offli-- oh wait, no, that one just came back online."
>"Homing beacon, are you sure?"
"Yes. It's cooked."
>"Will have the boys look into it when you get back, see if we can't upgrade it to withstand atmospheric entry."
"You can still see me though, right?"
>"We still have you, don't worry, we can pull you out if things get too messy."
"Things are already messy."
>"Hostiles?"
"No. She's getting goo everywhere. Can't see shit, hold on."
>"What is she doing?"
"Still checking my armour for kinks. I think she's starting to realise she can't get in."
>"Be careful, she might be smarter than you think."
"Don't worry, I've got my weapon trained on her at all times."
>...
>"We're getting an error back, is a part of your suit under attack?"
"Yeah, my leg."
>"What's the situation?"
"She's humping my leg and moaning. ...It's really creepy."
>"Remove her."
>...
"Removed... aaaand she's already back to humping. Unsure of how to proceed, command, do I fire upon her?"
>"No, she doesn't seem capable of doing any physical harm to you; hold your fire."
"Understood. Should I search for other lifeforms?"
>"No. If they are all like this then it could pose a problem."

4/?

"Explain."
>"..."
"Command?"
>"Sorry about that, Anonymous; we're trying to make heads or tails of it up here. You can definitely confirm that she has been performing overly sexual acts on you?"
"Yes, I can confirm. She's gone back to grinding her vagina on my visor."
>"Stay where you are and do not attempt to find any others. If she's going through some kind of mating season then perhaps that explains her actions."
"Yeah, I getcha."
>"If they're all like this, you might get swarmed. We'll stay with one for now."
"Understood."
>"Perform a perimeter check, we're going to try something."
>...
"Area secure; weapon on standby in case of emergencies."
>"Access your rations."
>...
"Rations compartment opened, you doing what I think you're doing?"
>"What do you have in your inventory?"
"Few grapes, some nutrigrade-seven, and a banana."
>"Give her a grape."
>...
"Gave her the grape."
>"How did she respond?"
"She ate it."
>"No side effects?"
"None that I can see... but she's calmed down now, maybe she's hungry?"
>"It's possible. Give her all the grapes you can spare."
>...
"She ate them all, looks like she enjoyed them as well. She's smiling at me."
>...
"Now she's making out with my visor."
>"'Making out', Anonymous?"
"Kissing. She's kissing my visor."
>...
"She's using a lot of tongue. ...god she's licking up her own juices..."
>"...Still nothing from the grapes?"
"No, she seems to be able to tolerate them. I think this planet's biosphere is almost identical to our own-- holy shit."
>"Anonymous? Is there a problem?"
"She's speaking to me."
>"Confirm!"
"She is definitely speaking. I can't understand a word of it but she's making words with her lips and vocal chords."
>"Can you--"
"No, I cannot understand it."
>"Amazing. Well, Anonymous, that just about confirms it. You've actually found an intelligent species capable of construction, speech and rational thought on an Earth-like world!"

5/?

"Yeah, it's uhh, pretty great."
>"We'll pick you up ASAP, unless you would like to stay?"
"No, no, I really don't."
>"Understood. Any reason why?"
"She got into my inventory."
>"Searching for food?"
"Yeah, the banana."
>"Can she tolerate that?"
"Oh yeah, she's tolerating it. Over and over again."
>"...Anonymous you're not making se-- ...Oh."
"Yeah."
>...
>"Evac inbound."
"Please hurry, she's really getting into it."
>"haha, understood, Anonymous."
"It's not funny."
>"Up here we can confirm that it's hilarious."
"It's really not."
>"...Anonymous, some of our boys in the lab have an urgent request for you before you are pulled out of there."
"Go ahead?"
>"Retrieve that banana."
"Command, tell the boys in the lab to go straight to hell."

6/6
The End.