My cat Athena passed away on Sunday. We never got to find out why but I speculate it's a heart condition. I've never been so sad in my life. Everyday seems like darkness, everyone gets to live life care-free and I have to grieve. A lot of people view their pets as not equal to them but my cats to me are like family. I don't have many friends so my cats always give me comfort, even Athena's mean self. She was so fiesty. She'd hide, sleeping in my room sometimes and then get mad and hiss when she found out I caught her. She was very paranoid, she had to deal with a lot of stuff when she was a kitten. She got in fights with so many other animals she got anxiety and would be scared of other humans, and particularly other cats. In her last 2 years I moved in with my grandparents, where she lived, and I always made sure to keep my cat away from her. Then when my aunt came and moved in she had her two cats. Her last month or so alive I just stopped caring and let my cat upstairs, only at night though. I wish I respected her wishes. She had beautiful eyes, and black and grey fur, it was the most beautiful thing ever. She would chirp at my uncle to go outside every morning. The last time she did I worried she went missing. She probably went walking around, I could tell she was going to pass. I last her saw the day before she passed. She hissed at me at first as she would normally do, I let her smell my hand and I pet her a little bit. Then, she chirped at me a little bit and walked back to my uncle's room. I slept until late the next day. It was 1pm. I heard she was a bit sick. I worried but my other cats had caught something as well so I figured it was not a huge deal. Then I went to get food with my grandpa and on the way back my aunt started crying, saying it would cost $6,000 to diagnoise her. I realized she was dying and I went empty, and a few minutes later she called to say the news. I wish I woke up early to see her alive. I didn't want to see her body. My aunt was crying at the door, and when I opened it I saw her crying with Athena in her arms. She was limp, but she was like a little kitten, as if all that stress she had went away and she was a little baby again. I told her to put her in the box we planned to bury her with and I hugged her. I feel so bad for my aunt, uncle, and my grandpa especially. My grandpa said he could not eat the whole day, so did my aunt. My uncle was hysterical. I never have seen him cry before. My grandpa did not cry. He said he realized it when she came to his room. She normally does in the morning, but this time he said she just sat there. He wanted to pet her, even though she never let him, and she just let him. He said it was her saying she wouldn't be here anymore. I wish I left my door open for her. I never got to pet her before she died. I didn't watch the burial. I was scared. I regret it so much. She laid in my backyard. For a moment I thought of digging her up and hugging her and touching her beautiful fur one more time but I knew she needed to rest. I didn't think too much at first. The first day (Sunday) without her was okay. I was sad but I thought I'd be okay. But these last two days have been hell. I can only think of how mean I was to her. I wish I was a little bit nicer to her. I miss her so much. There's nothing I can do. If I could hold her one more time I would but it's time for her to finally not be so paranoid, no longer having to worry about the cats, any animal hurting her. She was like a kitten when I saw her body. I will never forget my Athena until the day I die. When I go to heaven, hopefully Allah will let me see her once again. To my beautiful Athena: I will always love you. I miss you everyday, and it gets worse and worse. I wish you knew how much we loved you, and love you now. I wish I could see you one more time. There is nothing I can do, but I can only hope your death was painless. I wish you were still here. I wish would could have saved you. I will see you again one day Inshallah.


One day her beautiful body will be no more. She will only be matter. But energy never dies. They say that humans can hear us greet them at their grave. I will visit her grave everyday this week and talk to her. After that, I will try my best to let her rest. She was here my whole life; 12 years and I cannot remember my life before her. I will never forget her.



imgur.com/a/6mEmPdO