Sticks the B(r)a(p)dger

>The normal tropical heat of the day was reduced to a pleasant coolness underneath the full moon
>Sticks had called you up again in the middle of the night… seemingly the only time she contacted you
>When you open the door a strange musky scent lingered on the trapped air like a fog, and the only light inside her burrow was from her ancient computer monitor
>Immediately she swiveled around in her chair ready for an intruder, but she softened recognizing it was you
>”Hey, get ovah here. It’s aboud time you showed up!”
>She hopped out of her worn office chair and gestured you towards it
>”This is currently the only seat in da’ house. Don’t ask why. It’s a long story.”
>Appreciative she was giving you the only chair, you weren’t expecting her to casually hop backwards and sit right in your lap
>As if there was nothing strange about this, she positioned the chair back in front of her computer with a small kick
>”I invited ya’ over here for a real good reason tonight.”
>Frantically scrolling through flickering screens at the speed of dial-up, she entirely ignored the unmistakably loud rumbling that gurgled from her core
>The badger’s tail stiffened against your stomach as she groaned loudly
>”I’m talkin’ about something that they’re doing to me right now, and it’s driving my stomach crazy!”
>Low resolution images of poorly photocopied documents flashed on her screen as she continued her rant
>”At first I thought it was sometin’ in the water, but I never drink tap water. Then maybe in the food, but I forage my own.”
>Feeling more than a little lost and confused, you decided now was the time to speak up
>”Uh, what exactly are ‘they’ doing to you?”
>She turned her head around to look you in the eyes before gritting her teeth from another shuddering growl from her insides
>”You can’t tell? They… they’re…”
>Her explanation was interrupted as a monstrously loud chainsaw buzzing vibrated against your lap, spreading a deep humid heat that penetrated your clothes like aromatic steam
>In only a second the force of her ass blast blew a tropical breeze of fresh fruit turned bitterly sweet and sour from her digestive system
>After 5 seconds of sputtering the astonishing release morphed to a deep subwoofer that made her eyes reflecting the pale monitor light lose focus in the feeling of relief
>But once her backdraft quieted to a silent whisper of warmth, she regained her focus with an expression of frustration
>”I CAN’T STOP FARTING! It’s just one after the utteh, after the utteh! I feel like a damn weather balloon deflatin’ I’m so bloated. And not the normal kind, the bigger cover-up kind!”
>Pushing down on her inflated midsection with both hands, she fired off a shrill trumpet of sour air to add to her already engulfing miasma
>”I think this is to discredit me and everyting I stand for! Or maybe keep track of me cuz’ I could sneak around before!”
>She grabbed a leg in each hand and spread her legs to force out an especially violent fart that thumped against your crotch with the sound of a muffled motorcycle
>”No matteh how hard I push, it’s like I always got more brewin’!”
>Politely but ultimately pointlessly fanning your face, you motioned for her to calm down
>”What exactly can I do about this?”
>She responded with a lowering of her eyelids and the faintest hint of crimson on her face
>”You’re the only one I can trust on dis…”
>While your attention was on her face, she raised on her toes to inch her rear higher and higher until she was leaning down to press her butt against your chest
>”And sometin’ smells off about this. Maybe you can tell if it’s government chemicals, or intergalactic fungus, or robotic chemtrails.”
>Balling her fists and lifting her tail, you prepared for the latest volley of ripe funk in your personal space
>But instead the silence carried for a few seconds
>”DAMN IT! THEY KNEW I ‘AD HELP SO THEY PLUGGED ME UP!”
>With a sigh you wrapped an arm around the woman fuming in more ways than one
>”Look, are you sure you didn’t just eat some bad berries?”
>Trying to comfort her more, you pressed a palm against her bubbling cauldron of a belly
>Little did you know that was the nudge her system needed
>Her ass practically exploded with this next eruption of flatulence, pumping out of her with such vile vigor it felt like her stomach was shrinking
>Almost as loud as the flatulent fireworks was an unabashed moan of long-awaited relief that made the windstorm buffeting your body uncomfortably arousing
>After five seconds of her latest butt bomb you felt like you could taste or smell nothing but her volatile ass and it’s mixture of fruity mold and musk
>After ten seconds you almost felt like you were in a lightheaded daze
>Reaching a stunning 12 seconds, Sticks finally cut off her rampant rear wind with a long content sigh
>Stunned by what she just unleashed you simply basked in the heinous haze
>That is until she gripped your hand firmer against her gut
>Firm enough to feel more pressure swirling inside her
>She managed a hoarse whisper through her effort-induced panting
>”You just keep doin’ that so I can focus on finding the real cause of this gas. It might take all night, but we can figure dis out!”