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- >Still be an average joe
- >But this time, there's a key difference
- >You've got a fluffy pony on your lap
- >Her name is Plumsweet, which she will not stop thanking you for
- >"Fank yoo 'gain fow Pwumsweet name, daddy! Pwumsweet wuv name!"
- "You're very welcome, Plumsweet. But you don't have to keep thanking me. This is like, the 7th time."
- >She looks at you with her mouth open
- >"Oooooh, Daddy smawty! Can cownt to seven! Pwumsweet wuv smawty daddy!"
- >Hoo boy, this is going to be interesting
- >The only reason you bought Plumsweet was to help your dad out of his depression
- >He's been drinking heavily since your last dog died
- >Having a new creature to care for, especially one with as much unconditional love as a fluffy pony, should hopefully be enough to do it
- >"Wook at twees, daddy! Twees move fast!"
- >If she stops getting distracted by damn near everything
- >She seems to see the world in High Definition ADHD
- >And her curiosity is never sated
- >"Daddy, how caw move?"
- >Yeah, you're in a car
- >Luckily your mother is driving, so you can safely field fluffy questions
- >Then you realise: You have no fucking idea how a car works
- "I don't really understand how it works either, Plumsweet. Maybe it's magic?"
- >This makes the little ball of energy on your lap smile and laugh
- >"Pwumsweet wide in magic caw! Vwoom vwoom!"
- >You've got to admit, the sight of a fluffy pony making car noises is enough to damn near give you diabetes
- >You just hope your dad feels the same...
- >Your dad is an interesting man
- >His childhood was pretty rough, his father was a bit of a dick
- >So he's always tried his best to avoid the mistakes he saw his father make
- >He loved to make jokes, work hard and provide for the family
- >Always very protective of the things he holds dear, always fretting about everything
- >Until the death of your dog, you'd never seen him shed a tear
- >He was in AA for about 21 years until now, but he's relapsed
- >He hasn't lost his touch, he's been drinking a bottle and a half of vodka over the course of an afternoon
- >You look down at Plumsweet, who is still ooh-ing and aah-ing over everything she sees out the window
- >Maybe she can help your dad back on his feet?
- >The car pulls into your driveway, and you carry Plumsweet out
- >Your place isn't huge, but it's a really nice house
- >A decent sized backyard opening onto bushland beyond a waist-height fence
- >Every morning waking up to the calls of bell birds and magpies, with one hell of a valley view from the second floor
- >You put Plumsweet down on the front lawn and let her wander around
- >"Dis Pwumsweet home?"
- "That's right, little girl. This is your home now."
- >She smile sweetly
- >"Pwumsweet happy! Fank yoo daddy an' mummy!"
- >Your mother laughs at this
- >"If that's what she's calling you, what's she going to call dad?"
- >Plumsweet cocks her head
- >"Dewe anudda daddy hewe? But DAT daddy!"
- >She points a tiny hoof at you
- >You laugh a little, you were expecting this confusion
- "Actually sweety, another daddy lives here. MY daddy."
- >Plumsweet only looks more confused
- >"Daddy haf daddy?"
- "That's right! I'm your daddy, and my daddy is inside."
- >Comprehension dawns on this small inquisitive creature
- >The thought never occurred to her that even daddies have daddies!
- >"Dad... Daddy haf... WOWWWWWWW!"
- >... You think you've broken your fluffy
- >She's just sitting there, staring blankly with her mouth open
- "Plumsweet?... Aaaanybody home?"
- >She shakes her head as if clearing it and smiles
- >"If daddy Pwumsweet daddy, and daddy haf daddy, den Pwumsweet caww daddy daddy dadad!"
- >... You THINK you understood that
- >She's going to call your dad 'Dadad'
- "That's very good idea, Plumsweet! That way we won't get confused."
- >"Pwumsweet no wike confoos. Make Pwumsweet head owwies."
- "Ok Plumsweet, before we go inside, do you have to make poopies?"
- >"Nu-uh! Pwumsweet no need poopies! Pwumsweet go in wittabox at aminaw pwace."
- >Aminal place...?
- >Animal Place...?
- >Oh, the RSPCA Centre. Right.
- "Ok then little lady, one more thing before we go in. It's about da- I mean, Dadad."
- >"Otay, daddy. Pwumsweet wissen."
- >Plumsweet sits down on the grass and stares up at you attentively
- >You figure it's best to bring it in close for this, so you sit down with your legs crossed in front of her
- >You try and think of the best way to put what you're about to say into fluffy terms
- "You see sweety, Dadad is very sad right now."
- >Her expression turns into one of sympathy
- >"Why Dadad sad? No haf huggies?"
- "No, it's more than that. See, we had a doggy here and we loved her very much. She was a good doggy."
- >"Pwumsweet wike doggies. Doggies gif wicky-wicks to Pwumsweet, make tickews on fwuff."
- "Our doggy was like that, too. But see, she went away. That made everyone very sad. Especially Dadad. Our doggy was like Dadad's baby."
- >Plumsweet gasps!
- >"Dadad wose doggy babbeh?! Dat su sad! Pwumsweet hewp find doggy babbeh!"
- "That's not how it works, Plumsweet. Our doggy got very sick and went away forever. That's why Dadad is so sad. He has... Heart owwies."
- >Plumsweet is hanging on your every word with a sad expression
- >"Heawt owwies? Dat dah wowst kind of owwies..."
- "I know, sweety. That's why we've brought you here. Dadad needs a friend. Someone to love him and give him huggies and play with him to make him happy again."
- >She brightens up at this
- >"Pwumsweet do dat! Pwumsweet gif BESTEST huggies an pway BESTEST games! Make Dadad heawt owwies go 'way!"
- >You smile at how keen she is to make your dad feel better
- "Atta girl. Remember, it will take a while for Dadad to feel better, so we have to take it slow, okay?"
- >Plumsweet nods and smiles sweetly
- >"Otay daddy. Pwumsweet be weawwy nice to Dadad, hewp make heawt owwies betta."
- "Good girl. Now, let's go inside."
- >You pick up your new little fluffy lodger and start heading inside
- >You hope this works...
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