Braking for Whales (2019) eng

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<i>Flight attendants,
please prepare for landing.</i>

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Oh, yeah. That's it,
that's it, that's it, baby.

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That is it right there.
Okay, right there,

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Oh, baby. Look at you.
You're so hot. You're so hot.

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Yeah, that's it. That's it.

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Ma'am, we're about to land.

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It's FAA regulations,

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you need to take your seat.

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<i>Flight
attendants, prepare for landing.</i>

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00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,199
Ma'am, we really need
you to take your seat.

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Open the door.

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- What can I say.
- Ma'am.

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Hi.

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Consider it a gift.

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It'll redampen the dustiest

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of batcaves
if you get my drift.

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Just saying.

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What we want to stress,
Mr. Walker,

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is the unity of death.

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We believe this isn't
the end of your mother's life,

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but an opportunity
to bring together

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all the elements so greatly
deserved to be celebrated.

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As you'll see from our brochure,
we offer a variety

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of packages to suit every need,

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however turgid
or contoured they may be.

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Will your sister
be joining us today?

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My sister had an emergency
and missed her earlier flight.

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So, in interest of time, this is the
obit my mother wanted.

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This she only wanted opened
by the funeral home.

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And this is where, uh, well, you know,
this is where she wanted her ashes to go.

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She loved whales.

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Untraditional, yes.
But we always strive

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to satisfy the last wishes
of a loved one.

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Oh, uh, that reminds me.

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This is the picture
that she wanted for the paper.

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It was her, uh,
it was her favorite shot.

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Lovely. Oh, it looks like
you have another sister.

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That's me.

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Very well, then.
We'll, of course, take care of everything.

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Rest assured, Mr. Walker,

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that we at Forever and a Day

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will do everything in our power

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to create an environment

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as tasteful and befitting

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as your loved one deserves.

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Knock yourself out.

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Did anyone ever tell you
your beak's kinda fucked up?

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You really should talk
to your manufacturer.

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Who's ever heard
of a sad-faced duck?

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- Hello?
- <i>Daddy and I can't come to the phone right now,</i>

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<i>so please leave a message
after the beep.</i>

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<i>Congratulations.
You've made it to level five.</i>

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- All right, my man.
- <i>Lesson three.</i>

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- Give me some love.
- <i>And to really understand the root of a problem,</i>

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<i>you have to dig down deep
into the actual roots.</i>

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<i>R-O-O-T-S. Resignation,</i>

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<i>observation, outlook,
tenacity, and spirituality.</i>

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Resignation, observation,
outlook,

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tenacity, and spirituality.

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<i>That's it.
You can do it.</i>

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<i>Be the change. Be the change.</i>

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<i>Come on, say it with me.
Be the change.</i>

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- Be the change.
- <i>Be the change.</i>

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- Be the change.
- <i>Be the change.</i>

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- Be the change.
- <i>Again, with more tenacity.</i>

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<i>Be the change.</i>

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- Be the change.
- <i>Be the change.</i>

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Brandon, be the change.
Don't just want it. You gotta be it.

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- <i>Be the change.</i>
- Ooh. Yeah, I got this.

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Get off my ass, man.

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Be the change!

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You need to be the change,

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all right? Be the change.

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You know what she's gonna do.

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You know the bullshit
she's gonna throw your way.

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Just handle it. Stay calm.
Do not engage,

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all right? Do not engage.

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Just... be the change.

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Be the change. Just be the change.
You gotta be the change.

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Be the change.

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Holy fuck! Fucking hell, man.

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Careful
with the curse words, Brandon.

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- I'm always watching.
- Get off!

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- You're late.
- Actually, Star, you're late.

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- A Prius, Brandon? Really?
- Don't touch...

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Really? I mean, aren't you supposed
to be all de-gay-ified and shit?

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I mean, what, was the Oscar Meyer
Wiener Mobile not available?

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A, it's called a process,
and B, fuck you.

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- Hey.
- Hey.

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How you holding up?

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00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:06,551
Shitty. You?

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Shitty.

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Well, if there's one thing
I've learned in this family,

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it's misery loves company.

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Seatbelt.

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Thank you. By the way, did you enjoy the
George W book I sent you for your birthday?

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Yeah.
Yep, uh, you could say that.

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- Okay. Home sweet home.
- Yep.

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I got this.

100
00:08:01,907 --> 00:08:02,908
Well, your room,

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your room is pretty much,
well, just like you left it.

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I, uh, thought
I'd make us some dinner.

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The 'hood.
Does it smell different?

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No. That's the smell
of stagnation. This is Iowa.

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Nothing ever changes.

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Oh, you, uh, you remember
Mom's little, uh, obsession?

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- Yeah.
- Brace yourself.

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She discovered EBay.

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- Holy batshit.
- Yeah.

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Brandon, what are we gonna
do with all this stuff?

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I don't know. We have an appointment
with Ira in the morning, so...

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- Ira? Is he still around?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

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I thought he would've joined a commune
with the Vienna Boys Choir or something.

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Nope. He's actually
taking this pretty hard.

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So, we can't be late.

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It feels strange, doesn't it?

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- I am gonna go get changed.
- Okay.

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I'll, uh, I'll get dinner.

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All right.
Veggie burgers here we go.

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Dinner's ready.

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Coming.

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- Hey.
- Hey.

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- Oh, this looks great, Brandon.
- Thanks.

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- It's, uh, Mom's recipe. I found her old book.
- Hmm.

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It's the veggie burger.
Can we, uh, just,

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can we
say grace before we eat?

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You think I'll burst
into flames or something?

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Please? For mom?

129
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Thank you.

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Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this
meal which we are about to receive.

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Please continue to give us
strength and guidance.

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Please watch over the soul
of our dearly departed mother.

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- Amen.
- A-woman.

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- Do you always have to be so irreverent?
- Do you always have to have

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- a stick so firmly shoved up your rectum?
- Okay. So...

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- enough with the gay stuff.
- I'm just trying to add a little levity, Brandon.

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It's not like anyone
died or anything.

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Tough crowd.

139
00:13:07,045 --> 00:13:09,615
- So how's it all going?
- What?

140
00:13:11,016 --> 00:13:12,017
The cult thing?

141
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,289
- You mean the program?
- The cult, program, whatever.

142
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The thing where you all
shave your head,

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sit in a circle and sing
Kumbaya while you're trying

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to exorcise
the Lady Gaga out of you.

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Not that you deserve to know,

146
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- but it's good actually. Thank you.
- Good.

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Things are going good. I've made
a lot of distinct strides.

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A lot of big changes.

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I've had to step away
recently 'cause of the...

150
00:13:37,075 --> 00:13:40,512
because of the cost, but, uh,
I made it level five.

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- Level five?
- Mm-hmm.

152
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Level five.
It's a crucial level.

153
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That's the level where you
finally become at peace

154
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with who you are.

155
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Gay.

156
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No, Star.

157
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Like I've said, no one's really
gay anymore, okay?

158
00:13:59,465 --> 00:14:02,735
Society is confused. We're getting
things thrown at us from all angles.

159
00:14:02,769 --> 00:14:06,371
- Social media, technology. We're all confused.
- Mm-hmm.

160
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:07,573
And I was just...

161
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:11,076
I was just
a little lost, okay?

162
00:14:11,778 --> 00:14:14,714
- And now?
- Now, uh...

163
00:14:17,516 --> 00:14:20,352
well, I gotta complete
level five still, so...

164
00:14:27,694 --> 00:14:30,496
- How about you?
- Oh, I'm good. Yeah.

165
00:14:30,529 --> 00:14:34,166
I'm, um, thinking of moving
again, probably overseas.

166
00:14:34,199 --> 00:14:35,501
- Really?
- Yeah.

167
00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:37,336
- What about Chelsea?
- Well,

168
00:14:37,369 --> 00:14:39,104
her dad and I
aren't really seeing

169
00:14:39,137 --> 00:14:40,773
eye-to-eye on visitation
rights right now.

170
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:44,543
I have no money
for a lawyer and, uh,

171
00:14:44,576 --> 00:14:48,347
he says that, um, she doesn't
even wanna see me, so...

172
00:14:50,249 --> 00:14:51,550
Sorry to hear that.

173
00:14:52,618 --> 00:14:54,687
Sorry to hear
you're stuck on level five.

174
00:14:55,788 --> 00:14:57,055
Yeah, me too.

175
00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:01,326
You know what
we need, Brandon?

176
00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:05,330
- What?
- One word.

177
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:06,265
What?

178
00:15:07,165 --> 00:15:09,134
- You know.
- I don't. Where are you going?

179
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:10,235
One second.

180
00:15:15,173 --> 00:15:17,644
Vinyl. Ain't nothing
like it, baby. And...

181
00:15:18,577 --> 00:15:20,813
- um, where'd she put it. Ah!
- Oh, no.

182
00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:22,614
Mom's famous hooch squeezed

183
00:15:22,649 --> 00:15:25,117
between every one
of her bipolar little toes.

184
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:27,486
- No. I really shouldn't, okay?
- Au contraire, Brandon.

185
00:15:27,519 --> 00:15:29,254
You most definitely should.

186
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:34,526
Life is short. Just ask Mom.
She's dead.

187
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,329
Yes. Thank you.
That's plenty.

188
00:15:37,362 --> 00:15:38,530
- You want a little more?
- No, that's enough.

189
00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:41,634
- Do you remember the smell?
- Yes, it's awful.

190
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:43,870
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, baby. Come to Mama.

191
00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:46,338
- It smells like gasoline.
- Ah!

192
00:15:49,508 --> 00:15:51,276
- To Mom.
- To Mom.

193
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:54,781
Mm.

194
00:16:03,422 --> 00:16:06,693
Really? I don't even...
the horse, right?

195
00:16:07,359 --> 00:16:10,362
Cheers.
What are you doing?

196
00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:14,600
Don't look at me.
You're scaring me. Okay. Okay.

197
00:16:14,634 --> 00:16:18,103
<i>♪ Now if you feel
That you can't go on ♪</i>

198
00:16:19,404 --> 00:16:22,441
- What is this? You shopping?
- Shopping.

199
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:25,712
Yeah!

200
00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:27,880
- Do this.
- Is that the Running Man?

201
00:16:27,914 --> 00:16:29,348
Reach out.

202
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,286
Too soon, too soon.

203
00:16:34,319 --> 00:16:36,723
<i>♪ Darling, reach out ♪</i>

204
00:16:36,756 --> 00:16:39,224
<i>♪ Come on, girl
Reach out for me ♪</i>

205
00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:42,862
<i>♪ Reach out
Reach out for me ♪</i>

206
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:48,533
- Wait, do it.
- <i>♪ I'll be there... ♪</i>

207
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:52,805
- <i>♪ With a love that... ♪</i>
- The fish.

208
00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:56,776
- <i>♪ We'll be there ♪</i>
- Backwards fish.

209
00:16:57,944 --> 00:17:01,179
- Like this.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

210
00:17:01,213 --> 00:17:02,347
One!

211
00:17:03,215 --> 00:17:09,454
One, two, three, four!
Go! Ah! No! Whoo!

212
00:17:10,723 --> 00:17:13,826
- <i>♪ Can you see the rope? ♪</i>
- The rope!

213
00:17:21,968 --> 00:17:25,972
<i>♪ Darling, reach out
Come on, girl ♪</i>

214
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:30,743
<i>♪ Reach out
Reach out for me! ♪</i>

215
00:17:30,777 --> 00:17:33,278
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

216
00:17:33,311 --> 00:17:36,716
<i>♪ I'll be there ♪</i>

217
00:17:36,749 --> 00:17:40,385
<i>♪ To love and comfort you ♪</i>

218
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:44,724
<i>♪ And I'll be there ♪</i>

219
00:17:44,757 --> 00:17:48,961
<i>♪ To cherish and care for you ♪</i>

220
00:17:48,995 --> 00:17:54,967
Oh, oh, oh.

221
00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:57,637
- Oh, my God.
- That was fun.

222
00:17:59,806 --> 00:18:01,573
I can't believe she's gone.

223
00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:03,776
Same.

224
00:18:04,576 --> 00:18:07,579
You know? Same.

225
00:18:09,514 --> 00:18:11,616
You know what she said to me
before she died?

226
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:13,886
What'd she say?

227
00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:19,357
She said, "Look at this thing
destroying me

228
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:22,695
from the inside out, Star.
You two have a lot in common."

229
00:18:22,729 --> 00:18:25,263
- That's what she said.
- Star, she was joking.

230
00:18:25,297 --> 00:18:26,766
- She was joking.
- Yeah. That was Mom,

231
00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:32,638
- always joking.
- Ah. That was fun.

232
00:18:32,672 --> 00:18:35,507
You know, any good shrink
will tell you

233
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,609
that Mom had cock issues.

234
00:18:40,012 --> 00:18:43,281
- Ex-excuse me?
- Yeah.

235
00:18:43,315 --> 00:18:45,952
Think about it. She couldn't hold a
healthy relationship down with a guy,

236
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:54,292
so she surrounded herself with
these big blubbery flashy cocks.

237
00:18:54,326 --> 00:18:57,897
- Okay, you're deranged.
- Don't you think some of these even affected you, right?

238
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:01,600
I mean, you literally grew up in
a house with all of these things

239
00:19:01,634 --> 00:19:03,870
looking at you no matter where
you went. I mean, no wonder

240
00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:05,872
you loathe
what you can't do without.

241
00:19:05,905 --> 00:19:10,442
- Look at all these whales.
- Why are we back here again?

242
00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:12,812
For the last time,
I'm not gonna say it again.

243
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,548
- I am not gay.
- Yeah.

244
00:19:16,581 --> 00:19:19,417
And bats
don't shit in the dark.

245
00:19:20,086 --> 00:19:22,789
Come on, Brandon, I'm just
telling it like it is.

246
00:19:22,822 --> 00:19:26,826
Oh. Okay.
If we're telling it like it is,

247
00:19:26,859 --> 00:19:29,962
how about telling me why your daughter
wants nothing to do with you, huh?

248
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:32,098
- What?
- You heard me.

249
00:19:32,131 --> 00:19:33,866
I mean, can you blame her?

250
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:36,936
Between the ever-revolving
door of boyfriends

251
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:40,572
and the constant need to move
every few months, I mean,

252
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:44,476
you've done a pretty bang up job of putting
a solid wall between the two of you.

253
00:19:44,509 --> 00:19:46,879
- A wall? If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.
- A fucking wall.

254
00:19:46,913 --> 00:19:49,715
What's the petal and the black?
What does that even mean?

255
00:19:49,749 --> 00:19:51,784
If you're talking
about a wall, Brandon,

256
00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:54,386
you are the most prolific
builder of them all.

257
00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:58,124
You're a gay republican!
A fucking gay republican.

258
00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:01,828
I mean, that's a fucking
oxymoron if ever there was one.

259
00:20:01,861 --> 00:20:05,463
- I mean, come on!
- For the last time,

260
00:20:05,932 --> 00:20:09,467
- I'm not gay!
- Yeah. Tell that to all the yogurt slingers

261
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,437
you've had an up close and personal
with since you hit adolescence.

262
00:20:12,470 --> 00:20:17,844
- I'm just telling it like it is.
- That's fucking it. That's it.

263
00:20:17,877 --> 00:20:19,712
- What are you doing?
- That's it, get up.

264
00:20:19,745 --> 00:20:21,781
- Why are you walking in circles?
- Come on.

265
00:20:21,814 --> 00:20:24,449
- We're do this right here.
- Are you challenging me?

266
00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:27,019
That's it. Come on,
I'm not joking. Get up, come on.

267
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:30,022
Are you challenging me?
What are you doing?

268
00:20:30,056 --> 00:20:33,125
Stretches. No Tai Chi now.
It's not the same as before.

269
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:35,094
You remember what happened
the last time we did this?

270
00:20:35,127 --> 00:20:37,462
Yeah. I was a little fucking boy
then. Now I'm grown.

271
00:20:37,495 --> 00:20:38,998
- Remember, right?
- Yeah, I remember.

272
00:20:39,031 --> 00:20:40,967
- Look at me now. I'm grown.
- Grown no,

273
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,102
I don't think you know
the true nature of a scrapper.

274
00:20:43,135 --> 00:20:44,871
- Yeah. 'Cause if you did...
- Just stay away.

275
00:20:44,904 --> 00:20:47,173
Yeah. I think if you did,
you would lay down

276
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:48,841
and save us both the trouble.

277
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:51,143
- Get off!
- Oh, my God.

278
00:20:51,177 --> 00:20:54,446
- Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
- Get off my tit, would you?

279
00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:57,116
- Ah!
- You're just jealous 'cause Mom loved me more.

280
00:20:57,149 --> 00:21:02,088
No. You're just jealous
because I have a vagina!

281
00:21:02,121 --> 00:21:04,991
Ah! Ow!

282
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:09,896
For the last time,
Star, I'm not gay!

283
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,837
I'm so sorry for your loss.

284
00:21:18,938 --> 00:21:21,107
You don't know how much
your mother meant to me.

285
00:21:27,847 --> 00:21:31,751
Oh. Well, I guess
we should just jump right in.

286
00:21:33,085 --> 00:21:36,722
Now, before I read anything,

287
00:21:37,522 --> 00:21:39,191
I want to say
that your mother

288
00:21:40,726 --> 00:21:43,428
was a very special
and unique woman.

289
00:21:47,934 --> 00:21:49,068
Stop it.

290
00:21:51,704 --> 00:21:54,941
"I, Clair Samantha Walker,

291
00:21:55,641 --> 00:21:57,910
of sound mind and body..."

292
00:21:57,944 --> 00:21:59,712
As soon as I'm done here,
I'm gone.

293
00:21:59,745 --> 00:22:01,513
I'll be first in line
to help pack.

294
00:22:01,546 --> 00:22:02,915
"Do hereby bequeath,

295
00:22:02,949 --> 00:22:04,884
all my personal effects,

296
00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,019
savings
and tangible property..."

297
00:22:07,053 --> 00:22:09,188
- You're such a tool.
- You're such a bitch.

298
00:22:09,221 --> 00:22:12,858
"...equally
to both my children,

299
00:22:13,525 --> 00:22:18,264
Star Elizabeth Walker and Brandon
Tyler Walker, respectively."

300
00:22:18,297 --> 00:22:21,200
- See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
- Don't let the door hit you in your ass, okay?

301
00:22:21,233 --> 00:22:22,868
Stop it!

302
00:22:22,902 --> 00:22:25,004
I should let you know,

303
00:22:27,106 --> 00:22:28,708
there's a catch.

304
00:22:32,544 --> 00:22:36,782
In order for the property to be
divided equally between both parties,

305
00:22:36,816 --> 00:22:40,286
your mother
has requested the following.

306
00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:43,488
"My dearest poochies,

307
00:22:44,223 --> 00:22:47,126
while I don't have much
to offer in way of my legacy,

308
00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:51,998
I do have the house,
my whale collection..." Oh!

309
00:22:52,031 --> 00:22:54,633
"...and the Winnebago."
The Sin-a-bago.

310
00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:58,671
"And a small pittance
of savings in the bank.

311
00:22:58,704 --> 00:23:01,573
It is my wish you will do
what you will with it,

312
00:23:01,606 --> 00:23:05,610
with my blessings, to hopefully make
your situation that much better.

313
00:23:05,644 --> 00:23:09,281
Lord knows you each need help
in a myriad of ways.

314
00:23:09,315 --> 00:23:15,520
My only contingency, is that
you take my ashes, and...

315
00:23:18,324 --> 00:23:20,626
intern them in the body
of a whale."

316
00:23:21,994 --> 00:23:23,561
What the fuck?

317
00:23:24,764 --> 00:23:26,932
- What do you mean?
- "It's my final wish

318
00:23:26,966 --> 00:23:29,135
that the remnants
of this vessel that failed me,

319
00:23:29,168 --> 00:23:33,272
will become one with our mammal
brethren of the deep.

320
00:23:33,305 --> 00:23:36,776
If you complete this request,
what's mine, is yours.

321
00:23:36,809 --> 00:23:40,012
If not, deal's off
and you get squat.

322
00:23:40,046 --> 00:23:42,314
ASPCA gets everything else.

323
00:23:42,348 --> 00:23:46,285
It's pretty simple. Rules are,
no flying and you must go together.

324
00:23:47,053 --> 00:23:50,923
Oh, and you have 48 hours
to do it. Good luck. And...

325
00:23:50,956 --> 00:23:53,993
- try not to kill each other."
- Mr. Rhodes,

326
00:23:54,026 --> 00:23:56,896
my mom was pretty eccentric.
I don't think she would have...

327
00:23:56,929 --> 00:24:00,699
Signed and notarized.
These were, in fact, her final wishes.

328
00:24:00,733 --> 00:24:02,368
"In the body of a whale"?
What are we supposed to do,

329
00:24:02,401 --> 00:24:03,769
piss off God
and be swallowed by one?

330
00:24:04,270 --> 00:24:06,238
Well, she also left you this.

331
00:24:09,308 --> 00:24:13,179
Mr. Rhodes, hi.
Um, as much as I appreciate

332
00:24:13,212 --> 00:24:15,948
Mom's final desire
to be whale food,

333
00:24:15,981 --> 00:24:18,616
my brother and I
need this inheritance

334
00:24:18,651 --> 00:24:20,753
- for various personal issues, okay?
- Yeah.

335
00:24:20,786 --> 00:24:25,691
You know, your mother was
really something special to me.

336
00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:29,995
- What do you mean?
- Me and a bunch of other local

337
00:24:30,029 --> 00:24:34,200
free spirits, she would run
around on various solstices,

338
00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:36,669
you know,
howling at the moon

339
00:24:36,702 --> 00:24:39,038
and whatnot, naked running
around a campfire.

340
00:24:39,071 --> 00:24:40,039
Boy, that was something to see.

341
00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:47,346
I'll never forget the first time I saw your
mother's bosoms naked for the first time,

342
00:24:47,379 --> 00:24:49,715
- glistening in the moonlight.
- What the fuck is he talking about?

343
00:24:49,748 --> 00:24:52,651
Two nipples erect
like two silver bullets

344
00:24:52,685 --> 00:24:56,088
pointing to the heavens.
That woman could make

345
00:24:56,122 --> 00:24:59,391
a man Wendingo at a moments
notice, just ah ah.

346
00:24:59,425 --> 00:25:03,062
Just fully cocked and erect
and ready to take her

347
00:25:03,095 --> 00:25:05,364
like the wild wood nymph
she was.

348
00:25:05,397 --> 00:25:07,032
Uh...

349
00:25:10,703 --> 00:25:12,738
- All right.
- Look, what you do

350
00:25:12,771 --> 00:25:14,173
with your mother's assets
is your own business.

351
00:25:14,206 --> 00:25:16,442
My only horse in this race,

352
00:25:16,475 --> 00:25:19,044
is to be sure that you fulfill
the obligations

353
00:25:19,078 --> 00:25:20,913
that your mother's requested.

354
00:25:21,747 --> 00:25:24,283
That's the least
I could do for her.

355
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:26,118
So I'm here to tell you what.

356
00:25:26,152 --> 00:25:29,755
This will be done
or no dice.

357
00:25:31,891 --> 00:25:33,058
You got me?

358
00:25:34,894 --> 00:25:38,731
You got me? Good.

359
00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:45,404
Good. Well, I will need
periodic photographic updates

360
00:25:45,437 --> 00:25:47,406
to keep me abreast of your
progress, and, of course,

361
00:25:47,439 --> 00:25:50,409
I'll need proof that
the ashes have reached their...

362
00:25:51,277 --> 00:25:52,344
intended destination.

363
00:25:54,513 --> 00:25:57,850
All right.
Well, your time starts now.

364
00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:01,353
Good luck, and I look forward
to hearing from you,

365
00:26:01,387 --> 00:26:04,123
and I hope
you can have a nice day,

366
00:26:05,257 --> 00:26:06,425
poochies.

367
00:26:11,764 --> 00:26:15,267
We'll grab some things from the house, go to the
funeral home, snag the ashes and get going.

368
00:26:15,301 --> 00:26:17,336
You're not actually thinking
of doing this, are you?

369
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:19,338
Do we have a choice?
You heard him.

370
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:21,840
These were her final wishes.
We have to honor that.

371
00:26:21,874 --> 00:26:25,044
Final wishes, Brandon? Mom also
wished you were the daughter

372
00:26:25,077 --> 00:26:28,113
she never had, okay?
You were this close to being one

373
00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,416
of those kid gender reassignment horror
stories you hear about on the news.

374
00:26:30,449 --> 00:26:33,919
Honestly, the idea of spending
two days with you in a car

375
00:26:33,953 --> 00:26:36,789
makes me wanna Oedipal my own
eyeballs. But let me be frank,

376
00:26:37,456 --> 00:26:38,991
I need
to get to level five,

377
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,929
and I'm broke. Okay?
I really need this money,

378
00:26:43,963 --> 00:26:45,798
and so do you.

379
00:26:47,199 --> 00:26:48,767
Please, Star.

380
00:26:51,837 --> 00:26:54,039
- Who's Frank?
- What?

381
00:26:54,073 --> 00:26:56,809
You said you wanted
to be Frank. Who's Frank?

382
00:26:57,843 --> 00:27:01,080
- I don't understand.
- It's a joke, Brandon.

383
00:27:01,947 --> 00:27:04,316
Jesus, this is it's gonna be
a long two days.

384
00:27:04,350 --> 00:27:06,852
Could you please refrain from
using the Lord's name in vain.

385
00:27:06,885 --> 00:27:09,822
Oh, my God.
A very long two days.

386
00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:15,327
Seatbelt. By the way,
we can't take the Prius.

387
00:27:15,361 --> 00:27:18,430
- What? Why?
- My lease is almost up,

388
00:27:18,464 --> 00:27:20,099
and I can't afford
to put the miles on it.

389
00:27:20,132 --> 00:27:22,334
- So what are we driving?
- Nostalgia.

390
00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:47,059
At least if we run out of dough,
we can always sleep in here.

391
00:27:50,095 --> 00:27:51,997
Yeah, not really.

392
00:27:52,031 --> 00:27:53,565
Mom had the whole thing
cleared out. Look.

393
00:27:53,599 --> 00:27:55,000
Beds and all.

394
00:27:55,968 --> 00:27:58,337
- Do what?
- Yeah. She used it to deliver animals

395
00:27:58,370 --> 00:28:01,940
for the ASPCA, so that's why
the, uh, cages.

396
00:28:03,108 --> 00:28:05,344
- What's with all the spray paint?
- What? Oh.

397
00:28:06,312 --> 00:28:10,983
The spray paint, uh,
that was her little protest anarchy group.

398
00:28:11,517 --> 00:28:14,286
Her protest anarchy
what, Brandon?

399
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,056
The whole, you know,
save the animals thing.

400
00:28:17,089 --> 00:28:20,225
If anyone in town did anything
to hurt an animal, then

401
00:28:20,259 --> 00:28:22,861
in came Mom and her merry gang
of tricksters,

402
00:28:22,895 --> 00:28:26,598
- and busted out the spray paint.
- Good to know Mom was a tagger.

403
00:28:26,633 --> 00:28:30,269
- Yeah.
- How much confidence do you have that this bucket

404
00:28:30,302 --> 00:28:32,871
- will actually make it?
- This old girl?

405
00:28:33,605 --> 00:28:35,908
I'm cautiously
optimistic actually.

406
00:28:39,211 --> 00:28:41,280
We're so getting stranded

407
00:28:41,313 --> 00:28:44,283
and gang raped by a clan
of rabid hillbillies

408
00:28:44,316 --> 00:28:45,918
somewhere in the Ozarks.

409
00:28:45,951 --> 00:28:48,187
Socially sensitive as always.

410
00:28:48,220 --> 00:28:49,922
- Nice.
- Again, it's a joke, Brandon.

411
00:28:49,955 --> 00:28:52,458
- It's not a joke.
- My God.

412
00:28:52,491 --> 00:28:55,394
It's like your funny bone
disappeared right around adolescence.

413
00:28:56,128 --> 00:28:59,031
- About the time you started getting your period.
- That's not how it is, okay?

414
00:28:59,064 --> 00:29:01,100
We just have a slight
difference of opinion

415
00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:03,035
as to what funny is, okay?

416
00:29:03,068 --> 00:29:05,571
Rape is not funny.

417
00:29:05,604 --> 00:29:08,574
Rape by itself, Brandon,
isn't funny. Okay?

418
00:29:08,607 --> 00:29:11,343
Rape brought on
by an absurd road trip

419
00:29:11,377 --> 00:29:13,545
to bury your mother's ashes
in the body of a whale

420
00:29:13,579 --> 00:29:16,315
with your brother who hates you
and your shitkicker RV stalls

421
00:29:16,348 --> 00:29:18,651
in the middle of nowhere, where
some toothless roaming gang

422
00:29:18,685 --> 00:29:20,986
of Manson-family rejects
has their way with you,

423
00:29:21,019 --> 00:29:22,988
now that is funny.

424
00:29:29,194 --> 00:29:31,230
- I don't hate you, Star.
- What?

425
00:29:32,598 --> 00:29:34,933
I don't hate you. I just...

426
00:29:36,135 --> 00:29:38,036
I don't understand
you sometimes.

427
00:29:38,070 --> 00:29:40,105
Well, I don't exactly
have you nailed down either.

428
00:29:40,139 --> 00:29:43,475
- No.
- My guess is one of us is adopted.

429
00:29:44,576 --> 00:29:45,477
Yeah.

430
00:29:51,283 --> 00:29:53,285
Oh, my God. Muffler Man.

431
00:29:53,318 --> 00:29:56,088
- What?
- Muffler Man. Over there. Over there.

432
00:29:56,121 --> 00:29:57,589
Turn, turn, turn.
It's the Muffler Man!

433
00:29:57,623 --> 00:30:00,192
- Over there! Just turn!
- All right.

434
00:30:00,225 --> 00:30:02,461
- It's not that hard. You just gotta turn.
- Okay, okay.

435
00:30:02,494 --> 00:30:05,497
- Do you want me to help you turn the wheel?
- Get off the wheel.

436
00:30:05,531 --> 00:30:08,567
- Star.
- It's so easy. Just go like this.

437
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,036
- All right. Quickly, okay?
- Yeah. Just so quick.

438
00:30:11,069 --> 00:30:14,406
Nothing bad's gonna happen.
Give me the keys.

439
00:30:15,207 --> 00:30:16,442
Whoo!

440
00:30:19,511 --> 00:30:22,682
- What are we doing here?
- Evidence. Come on.

441
00:30:25,752 --> 00:30:28,020
- Star.
- Come on. Look!

442
00:30:28,053 --> 00:30:31,089
Who said there's no culture
in middle America, huh?

443
00:30:31,123 --> 00:30:33,091
- We really need to get back on the road.
- Look at that.

444
00:30:33,125 --> 00:30:34,661
- Look at that.
- What is that?

445
00:30:34,694 --> 00:30:35,695
- Come over here.
- Why?

446
00:30:35,728 --> 00:30:36,995
Stop right there.

447
00:30:37,029 --> 00:30:39,164
Don't move.

448
00:30:40,633 --> 00:30:43,135
Okay. Say cheese.

449
00:30:44,269 --> 00:30:46,338
Come on, Brandon,
don't be a party pooper.

450
00:30:46,371 --> 00:30:48,540
This the family road trip
you always wanted. Just move.

451
00:30:48,574 --> 00:30:50,609
Just that way, just a little
to the left. That way.

452
00:30:50,643 --> 00:30:51,711
Okay, stop, stop, stop.

453
00:30:52,611 --> 00:30:55,715
- And catch!
- What the heck is that?

454
00:30:56,515 --> 00:30:59,351
One thing I can count on, Bran Bran,
your utter lack of athleticism.

455
00:30:59,384 --> 00:31:01,119
What are you doing?
What was that for?

456
00:31:01,153 --> 00:31:04,056
Having a great time, Mr. Rhodes.

457
00:31:04,089 --> 00:31:08,026
Wish you were here,
especially Brandon.

458
00:31:08,060 --> 00:31:10,429
- Wait.
- X-O, X-O.

459
00:31:10,462 --> 00:31:12,531
- What? You're not sending...
- Sent.

460
00:31:12,564 --> 00:31:16,001
- Yeah. Let's go get a Slurpee.
- I don't wanna get a...

461
00:32:11,256 --> 00:32:13,458
Do you ever wonder
what it's all really about?

462
00:32:16,261 --> 00:32:20,332
Seriously? Did someone slip a cliché
pill in your drink this morning, huh?

463
00:32:21,166 --> 00:32:23,636
Don't tell me you're actually having
a pang of meaning and purpose?

464
00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:28,273
Yep. And it's sitting in my colon right
next to my heat lamp bean burrito.

465
00:32:28,307 --> 00:32:29,241
That's disgusting.

466
00:32:30,576 --> 00:32:31,811
Seriously,
what's your take?

467
00:32:33,913 --> 00:32:36,515
Well, I mean,
if you really wanna know,

468
00:32:39,484 --> 00:32:43,221
I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
It's... it's... it's confusing.

469
00:32:44,323 --> 00:32:46,358
There's... there's lots...
lots going on, you know?

470
00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:50,329
That's your answer?

471
00:32:51,764 --> 00:32:54,867
Your agnostic sister
just opened Pandora's Biblebox

472
00:32:54,901 --> 00:32:58,103
to talk about Jesus, life,
and all that BS, and your answer

473
00:32:58,871 --> 00:33:01,506
- is "I'm not exactly sure"?
- Well, I'm not.

474
00:33:01,540 --> 00:33:03,810
Jesus, delusional much,
Brandon?

475
00:33:03,843 --> 00:33:06,813
- Can you stop using his name...
- FYI, when I say his name,

476
00:33:06,846 --> 00:33:09,581
it's not because I'm cursing
him. It's because I see him

477
00:33:09,615 --> 00:33:13,418
sitting there on your shoulder,
like this little miniature

478
00:33:13,452 --> 00:33:15,755
- white-robed Jesus cockatoo.
- What?

479
00:33:15,788 --> 00:33:18,423
And you should feel
so cool, Brandon.

480
00:33:18,457 --> 00:33:21,928
You're like the Beretta
of born-again Christians.

481
00:33:21,961 --> 00:33:24,631
Beretta? Isn't that a gun?

482
00:33:27,566 --> 00:33:30,535
- How long till our next stop?
- Not soon enough, okay?

483
00:33:30,569 --> 00:33:32,337
So just let me drive.

484
00:34:11,778 --> 00:34:15,280
- Look at that church.
- No one wants to go to church.

485
00:34:15,313 --> 00:34:16,983
- Just saying, nice church.
- It's Tuesday.

486
00:34:17,016 --> 00:34:18,517
It's a nice church.

487
00:34:19,018 --> 00:34:20,552
Do you go to church
every Sunday?

488
00:34:20,585 --> 00:34:22,387
- Yeah.
- Every Sunday?

489
00:34:22,421 --> 00:34:24,691
When was the last time
you went to church, Star?

490
00:34:24,724 --> 00:34:27,459
- I would burn when I walked in.
- Just leave it, all right?

491
00:34:27,492 --> 00:34:29,361
I don't want to talk to you
about this anymore.

492
00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:31,798
- Look!
- Yeah.

493
00:34:31,831 --> 00:34:33,633
- Oh, my God.
- So what? It's not that cool.

494
00:34:34,399 --> 00:34:36,769
- Do you smell that?
- Did you fart?

495
00:34:37,536 --> 00:34:39,204
I'm not five anymore.

496
00:34:39,872 --> 00:34:41,708
- Was that you?
- That's a skunk.

497
00:34:41,741 --> 00:34:43,743
- No, I think that's you.
- It's a skunk, Star.

498
00:34:43,776 --> 00:34:46,646
- Whoever smelt it dealt it.
- It's a skunk.

499
00:34:46,679 --> 00:34:49,849
Look at that shit that's burning
in the distance. Do you see that?

500
00:34:49,882 --> 00:34:53,820
Look. I bet it's not good
for the ozone layer.

501
00:34:53,853 --> 00:34:56,989
Do you even fart or does it go
back up inside you?

502
00:34:57,023 --> 00:34:58,523
All right. Shut up.

503
00:34:59,391 --> 00:35:00,525
Do you tan your legs?

504
00:35:01,728 --> 00:35:05,898
Do you just decide
never to go out?

505
00:35:05,932 --> 00:35:08,366
I'm trying to even it out.

506
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,037
- Stop looking at my shorts.
- They're so up high.

507
00:35:11,070 --> 00:35:12,739
I'm not talking
about your boobs or anything.

508
00:35:12,772 --> 00:35:14,439
They shouldn't be
like so up there.

509
00:35:14,473 --> 00:35:15,808
Just leave me alone.

510
00:35:15,842 --> 00:35:19,344
- What...
- ...in the right places.

511
00:35:19,377 --> 00:35:21,580
- Great landing, Brandon.
- Thank you, Star.

512
00:35:21,613 --> 00:35:25,517
- You know how to drive this.
- Thank you, Star.

513
00:35:26,551 --> 00:35:28,587
- Do you think we should, uh...
- Leave Mom?

514
00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:29,956
I don't think
she's going anywhere.

515
00:35:31,556 --> 00:35:32,992
This doesn't look
like a Motel 6.

516
00:35:33,860 --> 00:35:36,361
Because it's not.
It's Aunt Jackie's place.

517
00:35:36,394 --> 00:35:38,497
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Don't start, okay?

518
00:35:38,530 --> 00:35:40,933
Mom hadn't talked to Aunt Jackie
in years, Brandon.

519
00:35:40,967 --> 00:35:42,902
I'd venture to say
there's a good reason for that.

520
00:35:42,935 --> 00:35:44,904
I know, but money is tight,
all right?

521
00:35:44,937 --> 00:35:46,806
And she's expecting us.
She wants us here.

522
00:35:46,839 --> 00:35:49,407
Just be cool.
Keep your opinions to yourself.

523
00:35:50,375 --> 00:35:52,044
You can always stay in the van
if you don't wanna.

524
00:35:54,579 --> 00:35:57,016
I just figured that she
and Herr Randal would have moved

525
00:35:57,049 --> 00:35:59,584
down to Argentina
where Mossad couldn't find them.

526
00:35:59,618 --> 00:36:01,586
They're not Nazis, Star.

527
00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:03,790
They're social conservatives,
okay?

528
00:36:05,557 --> 00:36:08,527
Who aren't afraid to wear their
feelings on their sleeves...

529
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,664
It's too bad those sleeves are attached to
flowing white robes and matching face-hoods.

530
00:36:11,697 --> 00:36:15,001
Listen, this would've been really important
to Mom, okay? So it's important to me.

531
00:36:15,935 --> 00:36:17,904
Please be nice. Here you go.

532
00:36:19,604 --> 00:36:21,841
All right.

533
00:36:21,874 --> 00:36:22,809
Smile.

534
00:36:26,545 --> 00:36:28,948
- Oh...
- Hello.

535
00:36:28,981 --> 00:36:31,550
Uh-oh, Jackie.
Lock down the neighborhood.

536
00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:34,020
They're letting Yankee Pinko's
in left and right!

537
00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:36,454
Randal, stop it.
Don't pay attention to him.

538
00:36:36,488 --> 00:36:38,557
Come and love
your Aunt Jackie's neck!

539
00:36:38,590 --> 00:36:39,759
- All right.
- Come here.

540
00:36:39,792 --> 00:36:41,661
I was a little bit worried

541
00:36:41,694 --> 00:36:44,529
it was those damn heathen
Jehovah's Witnesses again.

542
00:36:44,563 --> 00:36:46,398
- Hey.
- All right.

543
00:36:46,431 --> 00:36:48,801
Come on, Randal.
You know Jehovah Witnesses

544
00:36:48,835 --> 00:36:51,804
are just like Christians.
They're just a little more eccentric.

545
00:36:51,838 --> 00:36:54,774
They're a cult.
Them and the Mormons.

546
00:36:54,807 --> 00:36:58,543
In my book, anybody that dresses
alike, definitely a cult.

547
00:36:58,577 --> 00:37:00,512
Have you looked in the mirror lately?

548
00:37:00,545 --> 00:37:01,781
Star, Brandon,

549
00:37:02,882 --> 00:37:04,750
this is your cousin,
Little Pepe.

550
00:37:08,788 --> 00:37:11,057
- Our cousin.
- Little Pepe.

551
00:37:11,090 --> 00:37:15,027
And the operative phrase tonight,
you gotta be fucking kidding me.

552
00:37:15,995 --> 00:37:17,797
Well, we've already eaten,

553
00:37:17,830 --> 00:37:20,099
but you're welcome
to join us for dessert.

554
00:37:20,967 --> 00:37:22,534
We waited.

555
00:37:23,102 --> 00:37:24,637
We made enough for five.

556
00:37:27,773 --> 00:37:29,742
Welcome to our home, huh?

557
00:37:29,775 --> 00:37:32,945
- Okay.
- Welcome to our home. Actually,

558
00:37:32,979 --> 00:37:36,749
<i>bienvenido a la casa</i>
<i>de</i> Hillhouse.

559
00:37:36,782 --> 00:37:40,019
We're learning Spanish
for little Pepe here.

560
00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:42,587
Uh, Randal, why don't you
take their bags upstairs,

561
00:37:42,621 --> 00:37:45,457
and we will go into the
dining room for dessert. Okay?

562
00:37:46,225 --> 00:37:48,928
That's right. Okay. Pepe,

563
00:37:49,695 --> 00:37:53,598
<i>me algunos platos
de la cocina, ahora.</i>

564
00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:56,936
<i>Andale</i>!

565
00:38:01,140 --> 00:38:03,776
Please come in.
<i>Mi casa es su casa</i>.

566
00:38:05,477 --> 00:38:07,813
Wow. It's, uh,
it's... it's a beautiful home.

567
00:38:07,847 --> 00:38:09,682
Thank you. Thank you.

568
00:38:09,715 --> 00:38:11,717
Well, you have got
your mama's eyelashes.

569
00:38:11,751 --> 00:38:15,154
- Look at how long they are.
- Oh, dear God.

570
00:38:15,187 --> 00:38:17,890
I was hoping
you would notice this.

571
00:38:17,924 --> 00:38:20,693
I've been collecting
for years.

572
00:38:20,726 --> 00:38:23,763
You know, he was in St. Joe once.
Came to christen a Walmart

573
00:38:23,796 --> 00:38:26,999
and Channel 6 news,
the Channel 6 news,

574
00:38:27,033 --> 00:38:30,136
came here to do a story
on my collection.

575
00:38:30,169 --> 00:38:32,171
I just want you
to both to know that God...

576
00:38:32,872 --> 00:38:35,775
God definitely has
a very twisted sense of humor.

577
00:38:37,209 --> 00:38:40,813
- I don't understand.
- Uh, Star, she just finished his autobiography.

578
00:38:41,847 --> 00:38:43,215
That I did, Brandon.

579
00:38:44,549 --> 00:38:47,720
Well, what did you think?
I mean, didn't you find it insightful?

580
00:38:49,288 --> 00:38:52,058
I definitely had
quite the experience with it.

581
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,029
That's wonderful.
That's wonderful.

582
00:38:57,763 --> 00:38:59,065
Let's sit.

583
00:39:01,834 --> 00:39:02,969
Let's have some <i>torta</i>.

584
00:39:03,669 --> 00:39:06,138
As foster parents,
we really feel

585
00:39:06,172 --> 00:39:09,108
it's very important
to integrate Pepe's

586
00:39:09,141 --> 00:39:11,777
native culture
in to his daily life.

587
00:39:11,811 --> 00:39:13,179
For instance,
learning the language

588
00:39:13,212 --> 00:39:16,682
My favorite
is Taco Thursdays.

589
00:39:18,017 --> 00:39:20,720
Pepe, you can go fetch
the cake now, okay?

590
00:39:20,753 --> 00:39:23,521
<i>La torta</i>, Pepe. <i>Ahora</i>.

591
00:39:24,256 --> 00:39:26,025
You are gonna love this cake.

592
00:39:26,058 --> 00:39:27,259
We got it
at a bakery downtown.

593
00:39:27,293 --> 00:39:29,628
Run by an oriental family.

594
00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:33,132
- I think you mean Asian family.
- No, they're not Asian.

595
00:39:33,165 --> 00:39:37,103
- I think they might be Chinese.
- I think they might be Japanese

596
00:39:37,136 --> 00:39:40,538
or, uh, Taiwanese, Vietnamese.

597
00:39:40,572 --> 00:39:43,042
Somewhere in the rice belt
where I don't want to go.

598
00:39:43,075 --> 00:39:46,645
I don't know. I mean, it doesn't really
matter. They all look the same, so...

599
00:39:46,679 --> 00:39:49,547
- Randal.
- What?

600
00:39:49,581 --> 00:39:51,583
Look, you gotta be honest
with yourself.

601
00:39:51,616 --> 00:39:54,120
They might look at us
and think we all look the same.

602
00:39:54,153 --> 00:39:57,690
- Did you ever think about that?
- They all have their own distinct cultures,

603
00:39:57,723 --> 00:40:00,192
histories, languages, arts.

604
00:40:00,993 --> 00:40:05,931
I mean, what you're saying, Uncle
Randal, is, uh, well, it's kinda racist.

605
00:40:13,005 --> 00:40:14,173
You know what?

606
00:40:16,075 --> 00:40:17,076
The boy is right.

607
00:40:18,310 --> 00:40:21,280
Let me tell you a true story.
When I came back to Missouri

608
00:40:21,313 --> 00:40:25,251
from Iraq 1,
the first place I went

609
00:40:25,284 --> 00:40:28,954
was the Bamboo Hut. It's right
there off U.S. Highway 50.

610
00:40:28,988 --> 00:40:32,557
And I ordered the specialty
of the house, cashew chicken.

611
00:40:33,292 --> 00:40:34,326
And then it hit me.

612
00:40:35,895 --> 00:40:37,296
Well, this is
what it's all about.

613
00:40:37,930 --> 00:40:41,100
All of it.
This is what we're fighting for.

614
00:40:41,133 --> 00:40:45,037
I mean, all of the military
and the fighting and the maiming

615
00:40:45,071 --> 00:40:48,340
and the killing,
cashew chicken.

616
00:40:48,374 --> 00:40:50,142
Because what is cashew chicken?

617
00:40:50,176 --> 00:40:52,878
It's breaded chicken
in some oyster sauce,

618
00:40:52,912 --> 00:40:55,047
and you sprinkle
some cashews on it. Voila.

619
00:40:55,081 --> 00:40:56,916
What do you have?
Exotic foreign dish.

620
00:40:56,949 --> 00:40:59,151
Now, you take
the same breaded chicken,

621
00:40:59,185 --> 00:41:02,788
and you serve it
with some Heinz 57 ketchup,

622
00:41:02,822 --> 00:41:05,291
boom, what do you got?
Chicken nuggets.

623
00:41:05,324 --> 00:41:09,161
Right? It's all the same. It all might
look a little bit different, right?

624
00:41:09,195 --> 00:41:12,398
But on the inside,
it's all the same.

625
00:41:12,431 --> 00:41:13,332
That is beautiful.

626
00:41:14,233 --> 00:41:15,668
Thank you, Jackie.

627
00:41:16,936 --> 00:41:20,773
Of course, I like to think that
the best part of the chicken

628
00:41:20,806 --> 00:41:22,041
is the white meat.

629
00:41:25,077 --> 00:41:27,746
- Ahh!
- Oh! There it is.

630
00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:29,982
Look at that.
Oriental chocolate cake.

631
00:41:30,015 --> 00:41:33,185
Pepe, <i>visto</i>, <i>no oído.</i>

632
00:41:35,254 --> 00:41:36,388
She just told him to sit down.

633
00:41:37,256 --> 00:41:38,324
And to be quiet.

634
00:41:39,191 --> 00:41:40,626
See?

635
00:41:42,461 --> 00:41:44,163
All right. Pass your plate, son.

636
00:41:45,264 --> 00:41:49,201
Um, so, what are the plans?

637
00:41:49,235 --> 00:41:51,036
Gonna be a funeral?

638
00:41:51,070 --> 00:41:53,038
Mom... she didn't want
a funeral.

639
00:41:54,273 --> 00:42:00,146
What? No funeral? I mean,
is a preacher at least gonna bury her?

640
00:42:00,179 --> 00:42:03,182
Mom didn't really care
for preachers either.

641
00:42:03,215 --> 00:42:05,718
Houston,
we have a problem.

642
00:42:05,751 --> 00:42:08,754
She just lived her life
in a certain way and felt that

643
00:42:08,787 --> 00:42:10,990
her death should be consistent
with that, that's all.

644
00:42:11,023 --> 00:42:13,192
I am not one to gossip,
but I have to say this

645
00:42:13,225 --> 00:42:17,396
because it's on my heart.
I feel you two are doomed

646
00:42:19,265 --> 00:42:22,034
- to go down the same path.
- We have ignition.

647
00:42:22,067 --> 00:42:25,471
- What path are you referring to exactly?
- Well, damnation.

648
00:42:25,504 --> 00:42:29,175
Damnation. And I don't
just mean spiritually.

649
00:42:29,208 --> 00:42:31,810
I mean life in general.
I've known

650
00:42:31,844 --> 00:42:34,880
you two had challenges
even as children.

651
00:42:34,914 --> 00:42:36,081
Challenges?

652
00:42:37,283 --> 00:42:41,153
Go for it. I'm just sitting here
eating my cake being cool.

653
00:42:41,187 --> 00:42:43,355
With all due respect,
Aunt Jackie,

654
00:42:43,389 --> 00:42:45,157
you don't even know Star and I.

655
00:42:45,191 --> 00:42:47,126
We haven't seen you
since we were kids.

656
00:42:47,159 --> 00:42:50,729
And if I'm not mistaken,
Mom left the house at what, 17?

657
00:42:50,763 --> 00:42:53,432
And she only got a hold of you a
handful of times over the years.

658
00:42:53,465 --> 00:42:55,868
- So, I don't believe...
- Yeah. That was really my choice

659
00:42:55,901 --> 00:42:58,804
because I did not need
to keep a relationship

660
00:42:58,837 --> 00:43:01,507
with a sister who couldn't
keep her legs closed.

661
00:43:01,540 --> 00:43:03,842
- Whoa, what?
- We have liftoff.

662
00:43:03,876 --> 00:43:05,744
- What is that supposed to mean?
- I think she just straight up

663
00:43:05,778 --> 00:43:07,146
- called Mom a slut.
- Okay.

664
00:43:07,179 --> 00:43:09,515
All right. Jackie, just...

665
00:43:09,548 --> 00:43:11,884
No. Let me talk. They're adults.

666
00:43:11,917 --> 00:43:14,920
Your mother was selfish
through and through,

667
00:43:14,954 --> 00:43:19,058
and her inability to give you
any guidance whatsoever

668
00:43:19,091 --> 00:43:23,062
is the reason that you are the way you are.

669
00:43:23,095 --> 00:43:25,898
Aunt Jackie, can I ask a question,
and you can tell me the truth.

670
00:43:25,931 --> 00:43:31,470
Um, was Uncle Randal not giving you
the hard and heavy like you like it?

671
00:43:31,503 --> 00:43:33,372
- Why...
- Excuse me?

672
00:43:33,405 --> 00:43:35,541
Because I'm sensing
someone had a shag

673
00:43:35,574 --> 00:43:37,876
with the gardener and was
just too afraid to admit it.

674
00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:40,346
- Star...
- All right. Now, we're not gonna have that talk.

675
00:43:40,379 --> 00:43:43,082
Come on. Pepe's not
from a foster program, right?

676
00:43:43,115 --> 00:43:47,486
I mean, you banged your way
to free child labor. I mean,

677
00:43:47,519 --> 00:43:51,257
- come on.
- Okay. I understand your need to inject

678
00:43:51,290 --> 00:43:54,026
levity
into an uncomfortable situation.

679
00:43:54,059 --> 00:43:57,863
Right. Like Pablo the pool man injected
his spicy bean burrito into you.

680
00:43:57,896 --> 00:43:59,498
- I mean, I'm just saying like it is.
- Star!

681
00:43:59,531 --> 00:44:01,900
Okay. That... that's it.
Pepe, come on.

682
00:44:01,934 --> 00:44:05,271
Okay. No. Bedtime.
Come on, sweetie.

683
00:44:05,304 --> 00:44:07,072
You're not funny.

684
00:44:08,007 --> 00:44:10,042
- No, you're not.
- Okay.

685
00:44:10,075 --> 00:44:12,144
<i>Buenos noches</i>, <i>señorita</i>.

686
00:44:12,177 --> 00:44:14,013
<i>Buenos noches</i>, Pepe.

687
00:44:14,046 --> 00:44:14,980
That's polite.

688
00:44:16,181 --> 00:44:19,051
You're not.
And I'm not a racist.

689
00:44:19,084 --> 00:44:21,987
I've got a brown boy
living in my house.

690
00:44:24,890 --> 00:44:29,228
Apparently you've mistaken
my active disciplined

691
00:44:30,129 --> 00:44:34,466
and present role in my child's
life as something it's not.

692
00:44:34,500 --> 00:44:37,970
But then again, I guess
you wouldn't know what

693
00:44:38,003 --> 00:44:40,839
a present role is,
would you, Star?

694
00:44:40,873 --> 00:44:42,608
- Meaning?
- How is your daughter?

695
00:44:42,642 --> 00:44:44,143
I haven't heard
you mention her at all.

696
00:44:45,544 --> 00:44:48,047
- I didn't say anything.
- No, you don't have to.

697
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,249
You don't exactly scream
Mother of the Year Award.

698
00:44:52,151 --> 00:44:55,421
Yeah. We're done with cake time.

699
00:44:55,454 --> 00:44:58,624
There's extra blankets
on the guest bed.

700
00:44:58,658 --> 00:45:01,026
I'd like it if you were out
of here by breakfast.

701
00:45:01,593 --> 00:45:04,963
You might want to pull back
on throwing stones, Star.

702
00:45:05,564 --> 00:45:08,534
You're not gonna be able to see
your own house with all the cracks.

703
00:45:18,143 --> 00:45:19,478
That went well, huh?

704
00:45:44,136 --> 00:45:45,337
You just couldn't go
with it could you?

705
00:45:46,972 --> 00:45:50,309
- Go with what, Brandon?
- You know how Jackie and Randal are.

706
00:45:51,210 --> 00:45:55,013
It's like you can sense their aggravation
and you just went for the jugular.

707
00:45:55,047 --> 00:45:57,950
She deserved it. You heard
what she said about Mom.

708
00:45:57,983 --> 00:46:00,986
Oh. I feel like
I'm being slowly gassed

709
00:46:01,019 --> 00:46:02,554
by this low-hanging
cloud of hypocrisy.

710
00:46:02,588 --> 00:46:05,391
Wow, are we poetic at 2:00 a.m.

711
00:46:05,424 --> 00:46:06,558
You didn't even like Mom.

712
00:46:07,727 --> 00:46:09,629
I think the case could even be
made that you hated her.

713
00:46:11,563 --> 00:46:15,100
She said one thing and you
just jumped all over Jackie.

714
00:46:21,140 --> 00:46:23,008
You think I hated Mom?

715
00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:26,478
Well, yeah, didn't you?

716
00:46:31,583 --> 00:46:33,352
Love, like, hate,

717
00:46:34,754 --> 00:46:36,221
grow up, Brandon.

718
00:46:37,122 --> 00:46:39,057
They're all versions
of the same thing.

719
00:46:42,060 --> 00:46:45,330
Right. Yeah.

720
00:46:45,364 --> 00:46:47,533
Grow up. Me grow up.

721
00:47:22,401 --> 00:47:26,104
No. No. There's no way.

722
00:47:28,106 --> 00:47:29,709
No. No, there's no way.
No way. No how. I mean...

723
00:47:31,477 --> 00:47:34,313
I mean, I'm stressed and it's
in the middle of the night

724
00:47:34,346 --> 00:47:38,116
and I can't sleep
and no one's coming.

725
00:47:38,751 --> 00:47:42,054
Well, except me, obviously.

726
00:47:50,529 --> 00:47:53,499
Fuck it.

727
00:47:53,532 --> 00:47:54,634
Okay.

728
00:47:57,436 --> 00:48:02,341
Star, you've officially
gone past sick and twisted,

729
00:48:03,442 --> 00:48:05,310
but you're rounding the corner

730
00:48:05,344 --> 00:48:07,112
to full on perverse.

731
00:48:08,413 --> 00:48:10,717
Okay. Okay, Georgie.

732
00:48:12,584 --> 00:48:14,620
Oh, come on. Georgie!

733
00:48:17,456 --> 00:48:18,758
Sexy Cowboy!

734
00:48:18,791 --> 00:48:21,527
Oh, Georgie!

735
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,362
What in the holy hell?

736
00:48:24,196 --> 00:48:28,467
I... thought... I thought you were an intruder.

737
00:48:29,535 --> 00:48:31,303
Unreal, Star.

738
00:48:32,237 --> 00:48:34,573
You are a sick girl.

739
00:48:34,606 --> 00:48:37,810
Why would you bring that kind
of behavior into our home?

740
00:48:37,844 --> 00:48:41,079
You're defiled
my George Bush corner.

741
00:48:42,614 --> 00:48:47,553
Well, it definitely gives your Channel 6
news story a run for its money, doesn't it?

742
00:48:48,220 --> 00:48:50,657
I want you out! Out!

743
00:48:53,525 --> 00:48:54,761
Pepe!

744
00:49:29,862 --> 00:49:30,863
You want some?

745
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:37,369
What do you think
is in these things?

746
00:49:38,871 --> 00:49:42,240
Oh, the good ol' not talking
to Star game.

747
00:49:42,274 --> 00:49:43,375
Mature.

748
00:49:46,612 --> 00:49:47,714
Lips and assholes.

749
00:49:48,580 --> 00:49:49,514
Excuse me?

750
00:49:50,449 --> 00:49:51,851
Lips and assholes.
That's what's in them.

751
00:49:52,852 --> 00:49:55,420
How fitting.

752
00:49:55,454 --> 00:49:56,823
What do you mean
how fitting?

753
00:49:57,757 --> 00:50:00,827
It's a "Planes, Trains,
and Automobiles" quote, okay?

754
00:50:00,860 --> 00:50:03,763
And here we are on a road trip.
You see? Fitting.

755
00:50:03,796 --> 00:50:06,899
Ah, right genre.
John Hughes.

756
00:50:06,933 --> 00:50:09,368
Wrong movie.
"Great Outdoors," Ebert.

757
00:50:09,401 --> 00:50:11,536
You know, John Wayne

758
00:50:11,570 --> 00:50:14,573
said that you can never trust
a guy who doesn't drink

759
00:50:14,606 --> 00:50:16,676
or get his John Hughes
references correct.

760
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:18,343
That's a fact.

761
00:50:22,514 --> 00:50:24,316
So, there's something
I have to tell you.

762
00:50:25,517 --> 00:50:27,619
- What?
- Well, it's not that easy to say,

763
00:50:27,654 --> 00:50:31,223
- so I just have to blurt it out.
- Oh, this ought to be good.

764
00:50:34,761 --> 00:50:36,495
I masturbate to George Bush.

765
00:50:37,830 --> 00:50:41,634
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I was there.
Front row, remember?

766
00:50:41,668 --> 00:50:43,568
No. I don't think you understand.
It's not the first time.

767
00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:45,805
- You've done this before?
- Yeah.

768
00:50:51,410 --> 00:50:54,579
- Just Junior Bush or Senior too?
- Brandon!

769
00:50:54,613 --> 00:50:57,315
- What?
- I'm sick, but I'm not that sick.

770
00:50:57,917 --> 00:51:00,987
Although... no W, he's the one.

771
00:51:01,020 --> 00:51:03,656
There you have it.
That is what I do.

772
00:51:03,690 --> 00:51:07,325
You've pulled a lot of shit
over the years, Star, but this

773
00:51:08,393 --> 00:51:11,964
- this is fucked.
- I evidently have sexual compulsion disorder.

774
00:51:11,998 --> 00:51:14,499
- Oh.
- I'm getting much better. I now have the tools

775
00:51:14,533 --> 00:51:17,637
to reflect any expressionary
relief back on myself.

776
00:51:17,670 --> 00:51:19,271
- Back on yourself.
- Yeah.

777
00:51:19,806 --> 00:51:21,506
- By masturbating.
- Yeah. A lot.

778
00:51:21,540 --> 00:51:22,842
- Right.
- Yeah, a whole lot.

779
00:51:22,875 --> 00:51:24,509
Gotcha. Okay.

780
00:51:24,543 --> 00:51:25,878
Thank you for that.
That's great.

781
00:51:28,580 --> 00:51:30,683
- What about you?
- What about me?

782
00:51:30,717 --> 00:51:33,251
When was the last time you,
you know?

783
00:51:33,820 --> 00:51:35,420
When was the last time I what?

784
00:51:36,388 --> 00:51:38,323
- What is that?
- Oh, my God, it's like

785
00:51:38,356 --> 00:51:40,325
pulling teeth with you.
When's the last time you...

786
00:51:40,358 --> 00:51:41,259
you know,

787
00:51:44,897 --> 00:51:47,399
- polished the bishop?
- I'm not talking about this

788
00:51:47,432 --> 00:51:49,635
- with you.
- What? Days? Weeks? Months? What?

789
00:51:49,669 --> 00:51:51,503
Not... not talking about
this with you.

790
00:51:51,536 --> 00:51:53,873
What? If you can't talk
to your sister, Brandon,

791
00:51:53,906 --> 00:51:55,641
- who can you tell?
- Anyone but my sister.

792
00:51:55,675 --> 00:51:56,809
Oh, my God.

793
00:52:03,015 --> 00:52:05,918
- Two.
- Two weeks?

794
00:52:05,952 --> 00:52:08,988
God. That's why
you're so pent up.

795
00:52:13,325 --> 00:52:16,763
Two months? You haven't
gotten off in two months?

796
00:52:16,796 --> 00:52:19,431
Two months? I would die.

797
00:52:20,465 --> 00:52:21,466
No, Star.

798
00:52:25,537 --> 00:52:28,306
Oh, my God. Brandon.

799
00:52:28,340 --> 00:52:29,508
What?

800
00:52:31,077 --> 00:52:35,380
Two years. So what?
Two years. It's no big deal.

801
00:52:35,982 --> 00:52:37,315
Not a big deal?

802
00:52:38,818 --> 00:52:40,920
- I mean, is everything in working order down there?
- Yes.

803
00:52:40,953 --> 00:52:43,421
Everything is in working order
down here, thank you very much.

804
00:52:46,591 --> 00:52:48,995
We're just not all
jackrabbits like you.

805
00:52:49,028 --> 00:52:51,496
But two years, Brandon?
I hate to tell you,

806
00:52:51,530 --> 00:52:54,667
but that's not normal for a guy.
That is not normal for a gay guy.

807
00:52:54,700 --> 00:52:59,038
Okay? I'm surprised you haven't gone into
Starbucks and gone completely postal.

808
00:52:59,071 --> 00:53:02,108
Maybe some people in this car have a little
bit more self worth than others, huh?

809
00:53:02,141 --> 00:53:04,977
- You ever thought about that?
- For someone who doesn't like a dick,

810
00:53:05,011 --> 00:53:09,447
see a dick, or want to play with a dick,
you've certainly got being one down pat.

811
00:53:09,481 --> 00:53:12,417
Yeah. Well, for someone who sees
them all the time apparently,

812
00:53:12,450 --> 00:53:14,386
you sure talk about them
a lot, you know that?

813
00:53:14,419 --> 00:53:16,923
I already admitted I have
issues. What is your excuse?

814
00:53:16,956 --> 00:53:20,592
Excuse? Sometimes the solution
of a problem

815
00:53:20,626 --> 00:53:23,361
is not obsessing
every second of the day

816
00:53:23,395 --> 00:53:26,498
on the obsession, okay?
You're not an animal, Star.

817
00:53:26,531 --> 00:53:28,500
Be evolved. Try it.
It's the latest rage.

818
00:53:28,533 --> 00:53:30,602
I liked you better when you
weren't judging my life.

819
00:53:30,636 --> 00:53:32,370
I liked you better when you
weren't prying into mine.

820
00:53:32,404 --> 00:53:33,572
- Fine!
- Fine!

821
00:53:33,605 --> 00:53:34,874
Oh, my God, Brandon!

822
00:53:34,907 --> 00:53:36,976
Oh, my God.

823
00:53:37,009 --> 00:53:38,778
Oh, my God. They're dead!

824
00:53:38,811 --> 00:53:40,847
I was distracted
by your bullshit.

825
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,850
Why are you talking to me
about George... what are you...

826
00:53:43,883 --> 00:53:46,786
- Look how sad they look! What do we do?
- Put them down!

827
00:53:46,819 --> 00:53:48,420
You're touching them?
They've got rabies.

828
00:53:48,453 --> 00:53:49,722
Oh, my...

829
00:53:50,923 --> 00:53:52,624
oh, my God.

830
00:53:52,658 --> 00:53:53,993
I can't believe this.

831
00:53:56,996 --> 00:53:59,699
Oh, I can't. Oh, God.

832
00:54:01,100 --> 00:54:02,969
What do you want
to do with them?

833
00:54:03,002 --> 00:54:05,671
We can't leave them here.
You murdered their mother.

834
00:54:05,705 --> 00:54:08,674
Why was she crossing with her whole family?
That's so irresponsible.

835
00:54:08,708 --> 00:54:11,010
Don't they have instincts
for this kind of stuff?

836
00:54:11,043 --> 00:54:13,478
There she was
minding her own business,

837
00:54:13,511 --> 00:54:15,848
taking her little otter family
to her little otter home

838
00:54:15,882 --> 00:54:17,984
on their little otter river,
when bam!

839
00:54:18,617 --> 00:54:21,553
- Instant otter orphans.
- Yeah, alright. Okay, I get it.

840
00:54:22,088 --> 00:54:25,557
It breaks my heart too, but all right,
we gotta go. We don't have time for this.

841
00:54:25,590 --> 00:54:28,127
No! Some hawk will probably pick them
off like little popcorn shrimp. No.

842
00:54:28,995 --> 00:54:31,664
Just...
what do you want to do?

843
00:54:33,165 --> 00:54:36,636
No. No.

844
00:54:37,870 --> 00:54:38,905
No!

845
00:54:55,755 --> 00:54:57,823
- I don't think this is sanitary.
- What?

846
00:54:57,857 --> 00:55:00,626
Them!
They're diseased probably.

847
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,528
- What do you mean "diseased"?
- Diseased, like...

848
00:55:05,164 --> 00:55:07,465
- bird flu.
- They're otters, Brandon.

849
00:55:07,499 --> 00:55:09,902
Not chickens.
How can otters have bird flu?

850
00:55:17,910 --> 00:55:20,578
- This is kinda funny.
- What's kinda funny?

851
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:24,216
You being on hell-bent
on save the otters.

852
00:55:25,751 --> 00:55:29,255
- It's called humanity.
- No. That's not the reason it's funny.

853
00:55:29,288 --> 00:55:31,857
It's funny 'cause this is
precisely what Mom would do.

854
00:55:31,891 --> 00:55:34,760
This is like Mom down to a T.
She would absolutely do

855
00:55:34,794 --> 00:55:36,929
exactly the same thing,
and here you are...

856
00:55:38,030 --> 00:55:41,734
I guess the apple doesn't
fall off far from the tree after all.

857
00:55:46,872 --> 00:55:47,907
Yeah, what do I know?

858
00:55:49,308 --> 00:55:51,644
Just a stupid observation.

859
00:55:56,816 --> 00:55:57,817
Is that what I think it is?

860
00:55:58,651 --> 00:56:00,720
- We have to go there.
- Look at the time, okay?

861
00:56:00,753 --> 00:56:03,022
- We really want to keep going.
- Brandon, just live a little!

862
00:56:03,055 --> 00:56:06,624
For God's sake, crack the windows
for the babies and let's go.

863
00:56:06,659 --> 00:56:08,094
Plus it's picture time
again.

864
00:56:09,594 --> 00:56:10,495
Great.

865
00:56:26,946 --> 00:56:29,849
Star, really?
Can we just snap a picture

866
00:56:29,882 --> 00:56:32,018
and get back on the road?
Plus, we can't leave your...

867
00:56:32,752 --> 00:56:36,122
- rodents for too long.
- A, they're not rodents.

868
00:56:36,155 --> 00:56:38,157
Rodents aren't cute.
Anything that's cute

869
00:56:38,190 --> 00:56:40,026
instantly disqualifies itself
as a rodent.

870
00:56:40,059 --> 00:56:41,894
Hence why the jury
is still out on you.

871
00:56:41,927 --> 00:56:43,863
And B, you gotta give me
five minutes to ride

872
00:56:43,896 --> 00:56:46,098
the tilt-a-whirl, 'cause
little known fact, it's a law

873
00:56:46,132 --> 00:56:48,701
when you come to the fair you
have to ride the tilt-a-whirl.

874
00:56:48,734 --> 00:56:51,237
Oh, and you also have to get
fingered in the spooky house,

875
00:56:51,270 --> 00:56:52,905
but I'll you off the hook
on that one.

876
00:56:52,938 --> 00:56:54,673
Your levels
of inappropriateness,

877
00:56:54,707 --> 00:56:56,342
they never cease to amaze me.

878
00:56:56,375 --> 00:56:58,344
That's why you love me.
That's why you love me...

879
00:56:58,377 --> 00:57:00,146
- Oh, God.
- ...so much.

880
00:57:00,179 --> 00:57:02,081
I can't say God,
I'm religious.

881
00:57:02,114 --> 00:57:03,949
Can you hurry up?
It's like you're literally

882
00:57:03,983 --> 00:57:05,918
- dragging me backwards.
- Stop marching around.

883
00:57:05,951 --> 00:57:07,787
I feel like
your legs are so small.

884
00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:09,355
You've got such good muscle
tone in your legs

885
00:57:09,388 --> 00:57:11,057
that I feel
like you would walk faster.

886
00:57:11,090 --> 00:57:12,758
Just stop dragging me.

887
00:57:12,792 --> 00:57:14,060
- I'm not your child.
- Just stride.

888
00:57:14,093 --> 00:57:16,095
Try to use your leg force

889
00:57:16,128 --> 00:57:17,997
- and propel you forward.
- I like my walk, leave me alone.

890
00:57:19,165 --> 00:57:21,367
- Hey. Just stand right there.
- What? Why?

891
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:23,335
- Just do it, okay?
- What do you want me to do?

892
00:57:23,369 --> 00:57:25,237
- Shrug like this.
- Why? I'm not...

893
00:57:25,271 --> 00:57:27,273
Just do it!
Be a good sport, please?

894
00:57:27,306 --> 00:57:30,608
Just shrug, and look over
and go "cheese!"

895
00:57:30,643 --> 00:57:31,609
- Why?
- Just do it!

896
00:57:32,745 --> 00:57:34,914
- Just go "cheese!" Go.
- Then we're going, okay?

897
00:57:34,947 --> 00:57:36,315
Be a good sport, Brandon!

898
00:57:37,650 --> 00:57:41,787
- Cheese!
- And, sent.

899
00:57:41,821 --> 00:57:44,790
- Wait. No. Did you not...
- Who wants a corndog? I'm buying.

900
00:57:44,824 --> 00:57:46,859
- Let me see that.
- Just come on!

901
00:57:46,892 --> 00:57:47,960
I don't want
a corndog.

902
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:55,634
Ah.

903
00:57:57,670 --> 00:58:00,773
Hey! Hey there, little guy.

904
00:58:00,806 --> 00:58:02,141
Excuse me,
is this your child?

905
00:58:02,174 --> 00:58:03,275
- No?
- Okay. Thank you.

906
00:58:03,943 --> 00:58:05,111
- Helpful
- Are you lost?

907
00:58:06,145 --> 00:58:08,948
Where's your momma, huh?
You don't know?

908
00:58:10,816 --> 00:58:12,885
- What do you think?
- I don't know. I mean,

909
00:58:13,419 --> 00:58:17,089
this isn't like the otters. We can just
stick him in a cage and put him in the RV.

910
00:58:17,123 --> 00:58:19,692
It's gotta be against
some law somewhere.

911
00:58:19,725 --> 00:58:20,960
We can't just leave him,
Brandon.

912
00:58:20,993 --> 00:58:22,228
I know. I was joking, all right.

913
00:58:22,261 --> 00:58:23,762
You're right. Let me just, uh,

914
00:58:24,997 --> 00:58:27,867
I'll go find an office. Maybe they
can make an announcement or something.

915
00:58:27,900 --> 00:58:29,768
Will you stay here in case
the parents come back,

916
00:58:30,302 --> 00:58:31,403
- Star?
- Yeah.

917
00:58:31,437 --> 00:58:32,338
Okay.

918
00:58:36,008 --> 00:58:39,145
You want to get some corndogs
with me? Yeah?

919
00:58:39,178 --> 00:58:43,149
Okay. Why don't you come
with me. Let's go.

920
00:58:46,385 --> 00:58:47,953
This is gonna
be fun in here.

921
00:58:52,324 --> 00:58:54,793
Ahh!
Look at all those games!

922
00:58:54,827 --> 00:58:57,930
Do you see those?
And all the lights? Yeah?

923
00:58:57,963 --> 00:59:00,166
Okay. There's a corndog stand
over there,

924
00:59:00,199 --> 00:59:03,202
I'm gonna get you a few corndogs
and then I'll come back. Okay?

925
00:59:03,235 --> 00:59:05,237
Sit over here and
I'll back in two seconds.

926
00:59:05,271 --> 00:59:07,773
High five. Yay.

927
00:59:15,347 --> 00:59:17,149
Hey, what can I do you for?

928
00:59:17,183 --> 00:59:18,951
Can I get three corndogs,
please?

929
00:59:18,984 --> 00:59:20,953
You don't look familiar.
Are you from around here?

930
00:59:20,986 --> 00:59:22,254
Does it look like I am?

931
00:59:22,288 --> 00:59:23,422
I could show you around.

932
00:59:24,790 --> 00:59:27,359
I'm good, thanks.
How much do I owe you?

933
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:30,963
Well, they could
be on the house.

934
00:59:31,864 --> 00:59:34,500
As enticing as it is

935
00:59:34,533 --> 00:59:36,869
to trade sexual favors
for processed meats

936
00:59:36,902 --> 00:59:38,871
and fried cornmeal on a stick,

937
00:59:38,904 --> 00:59:41,307
I think I'll pass.
I have to get back to...

938
00:59:49,281 --> 00:59:52,117
Uh... Excuse me, have you seen
a little boy here?

939
00:59:52,151 --> 00:59:53,719
- No.
- Shit.

940
00:59:54,453 --> 00:59:55,754
Shit.

941
00:59:57,957 --> 01:00:00,893
Double shit. Excuse me.
Have you seen a little boy?

942
01:00:00,926 --> 01:00:03,095
He's about four years old.
Triple shit.

943
01:00:03,128 --> 01:00:06,298
Okay, Star? Good news.
I found the office.

944
01:00:06,332 --> 01:00:09,969
They have a lost and found.
They said just bring him... where is he?

945
01:00:10,002 --> 01:00:12,137
- I lost him.
- Are you joking?

946
01:00:12,171 --> 01:00:16,175
Where? I turned my back
for a split second and...

947
01:00:16,208 --> 01:00:17,509
- and he's gone.
- Damn it, Star.

948
01:00:18,277 --> 01:00:19,945
This is exactly
what I'm talking about.

949
01:00:20,813 --> 01:00:23,949
- This is what you always do.
- What do I always do?

950
01:00:23,983 --> 01:00:26,485
What do you always do.
You fuck everything up.

951
01:00:28,254 --> 01:00:30,889
Wait, what what are you...

952
01:00:32,191 --> 01:00:33,392
Star.

953
01:00:35,027 --> 01:00:39,465
Star! Oh, God dammit.

954
01:01:22,074 --> 01:01:26,011
- Hey. What you doing?
- Nothing.

955
01:01:31,216 --> 01:01:33,552
The parents
found the kid by the way.

956
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,323
Someone took him back to the office,
and they were waiting for him, so...

957
01:01:39,391 --> 01:01:42,394
- Thank God.
- Yeah. Yeah.

958
01:01:43,529 --> 01:01:44,430
Yeah.

959
01:01:46,999 --> 01:01:47,900
Are you mad?

960
01:01:48,434 --> 01:01:49,401
No.

961
01:01:52,538 --> 01:01:53,939
You?

962
01:01:55,007 --> 01:01:56,342
No. I'm, uh...

963
01:01:59,011 --> 01:01:59,945
I'm sorry.

964
01:02:01,914 --> 01:02:03,549
You must think
I'm an awful person.

965
01:02:05,652 --> 01:02:07,219
- What?
- Come on, Brandon.

966
01:02:08,587 --> 01:02:10,589
You don't have to dance around it.
I mean, what kind of mother...

967
01:02:13,559 --> 01:02:15,928
basically abandons her daughter?

968
01:02:15,961 --> 01:02:17,496
I mean,
who does that, right?

969
01:02:19,666 --> 01:02:22,301
- Star, there's...
- I just need to hear it from you, Brandon.

970
01:02:23,569 --> 01:02:26,238
I need you to tell me

971
01:02:29,174 --> 01:02:33,045
what an awful person I am
and how screwed up I am.

972
01:02:33,078 --> 01:02:35,047
I need you to tell me that,
please.

973
01:02:36,315 --> 01:02:38,016
I'm not judging you, Star.

974
01:02:40,352 --> 01:02:44,556
I just think
that there's more to you.

975
01:02:46,191 --> 01:02:47,926
You could be so much more.

976
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,629
- You could be...
- Be what, Brandon?

977
01:02:51,997 --> 01:02:52,998
You could be better.

978
01:02:59,304 --> 01:03:00,439
I want to tell you something.

979
01:03:02,742 --> 01:03:05,310
When Chelsea was young and I
was still living with Mitch,

980
01:03:05,344 --> 01:03:08,947
she got sick, okay?
She got really, really sick.

981
01:03:08,981 --> 01:03:11,684
Fever through the roof,
dripping with sweat,

982
01:03:11,718 --> 01:03:15,087
and I was home alone. Let me
tell you, I was overwhelmed.

983
01:03:15,554 --> 01:03:18,924
I didn't want to tell Mom, I thought she
would think that I did something wrong.

984
01:03:21,460 --> 01:03:23,262
And in some strange way,

985
01:03:24,229 --> 01:03:26,265
I thought
she was gonna die that night,

986
01:03:27,266 --> 01:03:31,069
that she was gonna die
right there in my arms.

987
01:03:32,471 --> 01:03:36,074
She was so beautiful,
and she was so sick.

988
01:03:36,108 --> 01:03:39,511
And I thought,
this is it, right?

989
01:03:39,545 --> 01:03:44,216
This is my fault.
God gave me this beautiful...

990
01:03:44,249 --> 01:03:46,251
this beautiful little girl

991
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:52,391
to take her away from me
and to teach me a lesson, right?

992
01:03:53,258 --> 01:03:55,294
Because that's what I do,
Brandon.

993
01:03:56,228 --> 01:03:59,465
It's what I do,
and it's who I am.

994
01:04:03,569 --> 01:04:05,237
Who are you, Star?

995
01:04:06,438 --> 01:04:08,073
I'm broken, Brandon.

996
01:04:11,510 --> 01:04:14,246
I hurt people,
and I let them down,

997
01:04:14,279 --> 01:04:15,614
and I know that.

998
01:04:16,683 --> 01:04:18,283
It's in my DNA.

999
01:04:19,318 --> 01:04:21,587
I am the way I am with Chelsea

1000
01:04:24,289 --> 01:04:25,524
because the only...

1001
01:04:27,459 --> 01:04:31,163
chance she has in this life

1002
01:04:31,196 --> 01:04:35,267
is for me as far away
from her as possible.

1003
01:04:37,402 --> 01:04:39,071
She's just...

1004
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:47,179
she's just better off
without me.

1005
01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:52,584
That's not true.

1006
01:04:56,823 --> 01:04:57,790
You know...

1007
01:05:00,392 --> 01:05:03,763
you know one of the things that they
pounded into us at these retreats?

1008
01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,399
Perfection, true perfection,

1009
01:05:09,401 --> 01:05:11,270
is not when there's
nothing more to add.

1010
01:05:13,272 --> 01:05:14,774
It's when there's nothing left
to take away.

1011
01:05:17,476 --> 01:05:18,577
And that means?

1012
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,181
Fuck if I know.

1013
01:05:25,517 --> 01:05:27,854
And that's the bullshit you've
been learning for all these months?

1014
01:05:27,887 --> 01:05:30,522
Like, that's it? That's, like,
what you get from that?

1015
01:05:30,556 --> 01:05:33,726
Yeah. Yeah. That's what
I've been spending my money on.

1016
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:35,795
That's good, right?

1017
01:05:35,828 --> 01:05:38,130
You should stop spending
your money.

1018
01:05:39,231 --> 01:05:40,633
Oh...

1019
01:05:41,567 --> 01:05:42,568
yeah.

1020
01:05:44,771 --> 01:05:45,805
It's gonna be okay.

1021
01:06:50,602 --> 01:06:52,805
Well, it could be worse.

1022
01:06:54,206 --> 01:06:56,408
Till we find a dead body
under the bed.

1023
01:06:57,376 --> 01:07:00,312
Okay, guys, welcome
to your new home.

1024
01:07:00,345 --> 01:07:02,782
We are one big happy family.

1025
01:07:03,448 --> 01:07:06,853
"Family." It's gotta be one of the most
perverse words in the English language.

1026
01:07:09,287 --> 01:07:12,424
- Do you actually feel that way?
- No, Star.

1027
01:07:12,892 --> 01:07:15,928
It's just a quip
with our shtick, right?

1028
01:07:15,962 --> 01:07:19,531
Our witty repartee.
Don't overthink it.

1029
01:07:22,769 --> 01:07:26,405
- Oh, God, yeah.
- I feel sorry for you.

1030
01:07:28,306 --> 01:07:32,611
- Excuse me?
- Not in a condescending holier-than-thou way, I just...

1031
01:07:34,379 --> 01:07:36,181
every time
I look at you, Brandon,

1032
01:07:37,784 --> 01:07:39,618
all I see is pain.

1033
01:07:40,653 --> 01:07:43,622
- You see what? Pain?
- Mm-hmm.

1034
01:07:43,656 --> 01:07:45,825
- I'm fine, okay?
- Are you?

1035
01:07:47,827 --> 01:07:49,829
Just because we had
a little moment earlier,

1036
01:07:49,862 --> 01:07:52,597
doesn't give you the right
to vivisect my brain, okay?

1037
01:07:52,632 --> 01:07:54,533
Would you please stop
pretending to care so much?

1038
01:07:54,566 --> 01:07:57,269
Well, I'm your older sister,

1039
01:07:57,302 --> 01:07:58,971
and that is what we do.

1040
01:07:59,706 --> 01:08:02,675
Yeah. Well,
don't strain yourself.

1041
01:08:07,345 --> 01:08:09,381
You know what?
You're exactly like Mom.

1042
01:08:09,414 --> 01:08:11,751
- It's not even funny.
- Excuse me?

1043
01:08:11,784 --> 01:08:14,386
Just pretending to care
when you haven't given a shit

1044
01:08:14,419 --> 01:08:16,321
about anyone
but yourself for years.

1045
01:08:16,923 --> 01:08:19,524
- That's the truth.
- Our mother

1046
01:08:19,558 --> 01:08:23,029
was more than likely
a manic bipolar paranoid

1047
01:08:23,062 --> 01:08:25,665
schizophrenic, but thank you
for the compliment.

1048
01:08:28,701 --> 01:08:30,335
I know this sounds
like jack shit,

1049
01:08:31,003 --> 01:08:34,640
but families are complex,
Brandon. Okay?

1050
01:08:34,674 --> 01:08:37,275
- Yeah.
- Just ask the Donner party.

1051
01:08:37,309 --> 01:08:39,679
Some of them were family members,
and they ate each other, so...

1052
01:08:40,646 --> 01:08:43,850
God. Everything is just
one big joke to you, isn't it?

1053
01:08:44,650 --> 01:08:48,353
I tell jokes. I try to laugh, because if I
didn't, I'd be crying all the effing time.

1054
01:08:48,386 --> 01:08:50,890
All right. Well, I'm not
laughing anymore, Star.

1055
01:08:50,923 --> 01:08:51,958
Where are you going?

1056
01:08:52,959 --> 01:08:55,061
At the end of the day,
what's the difference?

1057
01:08:55,094 --> 01:08:57,496
When this is over,
you're just gonna leave anyway.

1058
01:08:57,529 --> 01:08:58,765
What are you
talking about?

1059
01:08:58,798 --> 01:09:00,633
I'm going for a drink.

1060
01:09:00,666 --> 01:09:02,869
- Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
- Yeah.

1061
01:09:02,902 --> 01:09:04,036
Shit.

1062
01:09:34,901 --> 01:09:36,334
Is this seat taken?

1063
01:09:36,803 --> 01:09:38,004
No.

1064
01:09:42,708 --> 01:09:43,810
Mind if I...

1065
01:09:48,881 --> 01:09:52,018
Bartender, can I get
one more, please?

1066
01:09:52,051 --> 01:09:53,719
- Coming right up.
- Thank you.

1067
01:10:02,962 --> 01:10:04,396
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

1068
01:10:06,498 --> 01:10:07,566
Slow night, huh?

1069
01:10:09,401 --> 01:10:11,971
Yeah. Yeah. Pretty dead.

1070
01:10:13,973 --> 01:10:14,874
Yeah.

1071
01:10:17,176 --> 01:10:19,344
Then again, that's pretty much
always how it is around here.

1072
01:10:22,782 --> 01:10:25,651
I'm, uh, I'm J.T.,
by the way.

1073
01:10:25,685 --> 01:10:26,618
J.T.?

1074
01:10:27,820 --> 01:10:30,890
J.T. Good to meet you, J.T.

1075
01:10:34,492 --> 01:10:35,828
You're not from around here,
are you?

1076
01:10:37,462 --> 01:10:38,496
How'd you guess?

1077
01:10:40,166 --> 01:10:42,601
Well, the shorts helped.

1078
01:10:52,044 --> 01:10:54,981
So, J.T.,

1079
01:10:57,049 --> 01:10:58,416
what does that stand for?

1080
01:11:01,586 --> 01:11:02,889
Jesus Todd.

1081
01:11:03,890 --> 01:11:04,824
What?

1082
01:11:05,557 --> 01:11:07,927
- Jesus Todd?
- Jesus Todd.

1083
01:11:08,728 --> 01:11:11,097
How do you end up with a name
like Jesus Todd?

1084
01:11:11,130 --> 01:11:13,165
First name's Todd,

1085
01:11:13,199 --> 01:11:16,401
but I grew up in a houseful
of older brothers.

1086
01:11:17,236 --> 01:11:20,840
So every time I screwed up,
even most of the time when I wasn't,

1087
01:11:20,873 --> 01:11:23,175
everybody was always
yelling out, "Jesus, Todd."

1088
01:11:23,209 --> 01:11:24,542
I guess it stuck.

1089
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:28,180
Rich.

1090
01:11:28,848 --> 01:11:29,815
You're name's Rich?

1091
01:11:30,615 --> 01:11:32,084
No. I'm, uh,

1092
01:11:33,119 --> 01:11:35,755
I'm Brandon. Brandon.

1093
01:11:35,788 --> 01:11:38,758
Well, okay,
Brandon Brandon.

1094
01:11:38,791 --> 01:11:39,825
What you drinking?

1095
01:11:41,928 --> 01:11:43,729
A lot.

1096
01:11:47,199 --> 01:11:49,501
- Well, here's to drinking a lot.
- All right.

1097
01:11:49,534 --> 01:11:51,837
Cheers, Jesus Todd.

1098
01:11:55,141 --> 01:11:58,077
<i>It's for being
the mother you want to be.</i>

1099
01:11:58,110 --> 01:12:00,680
<i>You do so much to shape
your baby's future.</i>

1100
01:12:01,814 --> 01:12:06,018
- <i>Well, me and mom, we are really...</i>
- This is ridiculous.

1101
01:12:06,052 --> 01:12:08,120
<i>The baby would probably
prefer to remain with its mother,</i>

1102
01:12:08,154 --> 01:12:09,889
<i>but she's never far away.</i>

1103
01:12:09,922 --> 01:12:11,757
Oh, come on, Universe.

1104
01:12:13,558 --> 01:12:15,695
What am I supposed to do
with my life?

1105
01:12:18,097 --> 01:12:22,234
No whammies, no whammies,
no whammies, and stop.

1106
01:12:22,268 --> 01:12:25,204
<i>It was as if our entire country
looked into a mirror</i>

1107
01:12:25,237 --> 01:12:27,139
<i>and saw our better selves.</i>

1108
01:12:28,606 --> 01:12:30,542
<i>We were reminded
that we are citizens</i>

1109
01:12:30,575 --> 01:12:32,544
<i>with obligations to each other,</i>

1110
01:12:32,577 --> 01:12:35,781
<i>to our country, and to history,</i>

1111
01:12:35,815 --> 01:12:36,949
<i>and the good we can do.</i>

1112
01:12:37,917 --> 01:12:40,820
<i>For too long
our culture has said</i>

1113
01:12:40,853 --> 01:12:42,188
<i>"if it feels good, do it."</i>

1114
01:12:43,322 --> 01:12:45,257
<i>Now America is embracing
a new ethic</i>

1115
01:12:45,291 --> 01:12:47,226
<i>and a new creed.</i>

1116
01:13:18,758 --> 01:13:19,692
<i>Hello?</i>

1117
01:13:22,094 --> 01:13:25,031
<i>Hello? Is someone there?</i>

1118
01:13:27,033 --> 01:13:30,970
- Hey, Mitch, it's me.
- <i>Star...</i>

1119
01:13:31,670 --> 01:13:33,139
<i>Christ.
Do you know what time it is?</i>

1120
01:13:33,172 --> 01:13:34,940
I'm gonna fight for her, Mitch.

1121
01:13:36,308 --> 01:13:37,676
I'm gonna fight for her.

1122
01:13:41,013 --> 01:13:42,314
I'm not going anywhere.

1123
01:13:45,251 --> 01:13:46,719
Not this time.

1124
01:13:49,188 --> 01:13:51,023
I just wanted you to know, so...

1125
01:13:51,891 --> 01:13:53,759
<i>That's great, Star.
You... you know,</i>

1126
01:13:53,793 --> 01:13:55,828
<i>it's nice
of you to show up now</i>

1127
01:13:55,861 --> 01:13:57,630
<i>all of sudden and say
you're gonna fight for her,</i>

1128
01:13:57,663 --> 01:13:59,131
<i>but, what...</i>

1129
01:14:23,923 --> 01:14:25,357
Easy, easy, easy!

1130
01:14:25,391 --> 01:14:27,159
All right,
all right, all right.

1131
01:14:27,193 --> 01:14:29,128
Hey! Not on the first date,
all right?

1132
01:14:29,161 --> 01:14:31,630
- My sister said not to do anything...
- Uh...

1133
01:14:31,664 --> 01:14:35,067
- well, she's a complete slut, so, whatever, but...
- Jesus Christ.

1134
01:14:35,101 --> 01:14:39,839
Hey, be a gentleman, okay?

1135
01:14:39,872 --> 01:14:41,240
- A gentleman?
- A gentleman.

1136
01:14:41,273 --> 01:14:43,342
Good things come
to those who wait.

1137
01:14:43,375 --> 01:14:44,977
- Oh, yeah.
- And if you wait long enough,

1138
01:14:45,010 --> 01:14:47,713
then you might come.

1139
01:14:47,746 --> 01:14:48,848
Yeah.

1140
01:14:52,785 --> 01:14:54,120
You're a comedian,
you know that?

1141
01:15:04,697 --> 01:15:06,132
What the fuck...?

1142
01:15:07,900 --> 01:15:10,102
- Fuck are you doing?
- What do you think I'm doing?

1143
01:15:11,337 --> 01:15:14,406
- I'm looking for your tonsils.
- Hey, hey. I'm straight, okay?

1144
01:15:14,440 --> 01:15:15,674
I'm not gay.

1145
01:15:16,342 --> 01:15:18,010
- You're straight?
- Yeah.

1146
01:15:18,043 --> 01:15:20,813
Yeah. And I'm the prince
of Siam.

1147
01:15:20,846 --> 01:15:26,218
Or, uh, would that be,
uh, Princess?

1148
01:15:28,354 --> 01:15:30,389
Get the fuck away from me,
you queer!

1149
01:15:31,957 --> 01:15:34,026
- What the fuck is your problem?
- My problem?

1150
01:15:35,261 --> 01:15:36,362
You're the faggot.

1151
01:15:39,732 --> 01:15:40,432
Okay.

1152
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:42,935
Okay. I see what this is.

1153
01:15:42,968 --> 01:15:45,137
You're, like, what...

1154
01:15:46,105 --> 01:15:50,843
two, two-and-a-half years
from praying away the gay?

1155
01:15:50,876 --> 01:15:53,212
Or do you think you're the first
one to go down that road?

1156
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:58,017
'Cause you sure as shit ain't the
first city queer to wander out here.

1157
01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,389
Fucking head case out
of towners.

1158
01:16:05,157 --> 01:16:06,358
Fuck you say?

1159
01:16:09,228 --> 01:16:10,462
Look, Mary.

1160
01:16:11,497 --> 01:16:13,098
It ain't that complicated.

1161
01:16:13,832 --> 01:16:16,869
See, this whole educate
the gay youth of America thing,

1162
01:16:18,337 --> 01:16:20,072
it ain't my goddamn job.

1163
01:16:20,105 --> 01:16:21,840
We're either here to fuck

1164
01:16:22,841 --> 01:16:23,876
or we aren't.

1165
01:16:25,377 --> 01:16:26,345
Yeah.

1166
01:16:27,846 --> 01:16:28,914
That's what I thought.

1167
01:16:31,917 --> 01:16:33,185
Wait.

1168
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:35,487
What?

1169
01:16:48,567 --> 01:16:49,468
What?

1170
01:16:52,104 --> 01:16:55,507
- Oh!
- Fuck you!

1171
01:16:58,043 --> 01:17:03,349
Fuck you! Fuck you!
Fucking fag!

1172
01:17:03,382 --> 01:17:06,852
Fuck you, you fucking fag!
Fuck!

1173
01:17:13,025 --> 01:17:14,059
Fuck you!

1174
01:17:51,964 --> 01:17:53,032
Fuck you.

1175
01:17:53,966 --> 01:17:55,167
Fuck you!

1176
01:19:09,541 --> 01:19:11,310
Oh, my God!

1177
01:19:11,343 --> 01:19:14,580
- Huh?
- Brandon? Hey.

1178
01:19:17,349 --> 01:19:19,218
Go back to sleep, Star.

1179
01:19:19,686 --> 01:19:20,586
Please.

1180
01:19:22,655 --> 01:19:23,589
Oh, my God, Brandon.

1181
01:19:24,423 --> 01:19:26,659
- What happened?
- Nothing.

1182
01:19:27,292 --> 01:19:29,027
Just... just go back to sleep.

1183
01:19:31,330 --> 01:19:32,632
Did someone hurt you?

1184
01:19:35,968 --> 01:19:37,236
Oh, my God.

1185
01:19:40,572 --> 01:19:42,174
I hurt somebody.

1186
01:19:46,646 --> 01:19:48,147
I hurt somebody.

1187
01:19:56,355 --> 01:20:00,125
Hey, hey, you're okay.

1188
01:20:00,159 --> 01:20:02,494
You're okay. Hey, you're safe.

1189
01:20:02,528 --> 01:20:09,168
You're okay. You're okay.
Hey, you're okay.

1190
01:20:09,702 --> 01:20:12,971
Hey, hey. Shh.

1191
01:20:16,508 --> 01:20:17,710
You're okay.

1192
01:20:27,787 --> 01:20:30,690
Hi, babies. There you go.

1193
01:20:32,291 --> 01:20:34,026
They're so cute.

1194
01:20:42,367 --> 01:20:44,470
- Hey.
- Hey.

1195
01:20:47,139 --> 01:20:48,240
You wanna talk?

1196
01:20:49,508 --> 01:20:50,509
Not really.

1197
01:20:51,644 --> 01:20:53,278
How do you feel?

1198
01:20:54,647 --> 01:20:57,316
Like a truck ran over my brain
and put it back inside.

1199
01:20:58,317 --> 01:20:59,551
And the other guy, is he...

1200
01:21:01,487 --> 01:21:04,323
I have a hazy memory
of him running away,

1201
01:21:04,356 --> 01:21:06,291
so I'm sure he's fine.

1202
01:21:11,831 --> 01:21:12,998
Brandon?

1203
01:21:15,267 --> 01:21:16,401
Yes, Star?

1204
01:21:21,774 --> 01:21:22,675
Nothing.

1205
01:21:28,514 --> 01:21:29,481
I'm here.

1206
01:21:31,784 --> 01:21:34,086
I know. I can see you.

1207
01:21:35,087 --> 01:21:38,023
No. I'm not here. I'm...

1208
01:21:39,291 --> 01:21:40,727
I'm here.

1209
01:21:42,427 --> 01:21:44,229
I'm not going anywhere,

1210
01:21:44,731 --> 01:21:45,732
and, um,

1211
01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:50,402
I just thought you should know.

1212
01:22:02,214 --> 01:22:04,416
The other day you asked me
what my take is.

1213
01:22:05,617 --> 01:22:06,686
- Remember?
- Mm-hmm.

1214
01:22:07,720 --> 01:22:11,623
Well, I've been thinking
about it a lot recently.

1215
01:22:11,658 --> 01:22:12,825
I've been trying
to figure it out.

1216
01:22:14,226 --> 01:22:16,261
Trying to figure out
a lot of stuff.

1217
01:22:23,703 --> 01:22:25,672
I've always
had this image in my head

1218
01:22:26,873 --> 01:22:29,408
of me sitting
on the edge of a pool,

1219
01:22:29,441 --> 01:22:30,576
kind of like this.

1220
01:22:32,611 --> 01:22:34,513
My feet
are in the water, and

1221
01:22:35,614 --> 01:22:37,382
I could feel
the bottom with my toes.

1222
01:22:38,550 --> 01:22:40,419
And as long as I can feel
the bottom, I'm good.

1223
01:22:40,452 --> 01:22:41,219
I'll be fine.

1224
01:22:44,824 --> 01:22:47,459
But recently,
the past few months,

1225
01:22:50,329 --> 01:22:51,864
it scares me 'cause I...

1226
01:22:53,766 --> 01:22:55,300
I can't feel it anymore.

1227
01:22:56,401 --> 01:22:58,337
It just goes on forever
and ever, you know?

1228
01:23:00,707 --> 01:23:02,842
Probably
doesn't make much sense.

1229
01:23:02,875 --> 01:23:05,477
It actually makes
a lot of sense.

1230
01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:17,890
I'm lost, Star.

1231
01:23:19,692 --> 01:23:20,727
I'm really lost.

1232
01:23:22,494 --> 01:23:23,663
Bad lost.

1233
01:23:26,498 --> 01:23:29,201
Everything
is slipping away from me,

1234
01:23:30,202 --> 01:23:31,671
and it scares
the fuck out of me.

1235
01:23:34,373 --> 01:23:36,508
Does it sound like a heap
of shit to say that

1236
01:23:37,844 --> 01:23:40,612
I don't really have
the answers, Brandon,

1237
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:42,915
but I do love you.

1238
01:23:45,952 --> 01:23:47,185
Truthfully?

1239
01:23:48,387 --> 01:23:49,454
Yeah.

1240
01:23:50,589 --> 01:23:53,158
- From you it does.
- You're so mean.

1241
01:23:54,359 --> 01:23:57,596
Okay. Well, you must be hungry,
because I hear

1242
01:23:57,630 --> 01:24:00,265
a night of gay bashing can
really work up an appetite so...

1243
01:24:02,267 --> 01:24:03,936
There's a Quick Stop around the corner.
Do you want anything?

1244
01:24:03,970 --> 01:24:06,405
Yeah,
I'll meet you over there.

1245
01:24:06,438 --> 01:24:07,907
We gotta get going
soon though, okay?

1246
01:24:11,476 --> 01:24:12,411
Star?

1247
01:24:16,716 --> 01:24:17,616
Yeah?

1248
01:24:18,951 --> 01:24:19,852
Thank you.

1249
01:24:22,387 --> 01:24:23,388
No problem.

1250
01:24:43,843 --> 01:24:45,544
Pick your poison.

1251
01:24:46,278 --> 01:24:48,881
Fortified with essential
glutamates and preservatives

1252
01:24:48,915 --> 01:24:52,217
or little fried ringlets
of the mystery meat.

1253
01:24:54,721 --> 01:24:55,620
Hey.

1254
01:25:00,626 --> 01:25:03,495
Uh, nice eyes?

1255
01:25:04,030 --> 01:25:05,564
It's an exercise, right?

1256
01:25:05,597 --> 01:25:07,466
In what... Geisha?

1257
01:25:08,067 --> 01:25:10,803
In the program, they teach us
to implement one component

1258
01:25:10,837 --> 01:25:13,840
of our new lives
as an expression of our manhood.

1259
01:25:13,873 --> 01:25:16,475
So, I thought
I'd do the opposite.

1260
01:25:18,477 --> 01:25:19,812
No? What do you think?

1261
01:25:19,846 --> 01:25:20,747
Brandon,

1262
01:25:21,781 --> 01:25:23,548
just because you decided
to poke your head out

1263
01:25:23,582 --> 01:25:25,484
of your closet a little bit,
doesn't mean the guy

1264
01:25:25,517 --> 01:25:28,020
that pops out
has to be Boy George.

1265
01:25:29,655 --> 01:25:33,059
Boy George? Oh, my God.

1266
01:25:33,092 --> 01:25:35,194
This looks ridiculous.
Where's... is this just water?

1267
01:25:39,065 --> 01:25:40,298
It's not coming off.

1268
01:25:41,566 --> 01:25:44,771
- How do you get this stuff off?
- Not so fast, Jack Sparrow.

1269
01:25:44,804 --> 01:25:46,605
It just looks crazy.

1270
01:25:51,010 --> 01:25:52,310
You're a good woman, Star.

1271
01:25:53,746 --> 01:25:55,447
You're a good woman too,
Brandon.

1272
01:25:56,682 --> 01:25:57,616
Asshole.

1273
01:26:03,622 --> 01:26:08,060
Holy tingling moose cock.

1274
01:26:09,528 --> 01:26:11,463
Either it's real
or a bad batch of acid

1275
01:26:11,496 --> 01:26:13,666
from the ninth grade
has leaked into my spinal cord,

1276
01:26:13,699 --> 01:26:15,968
hitched a ride on an aneurysm
and leaked into my brain.

1277
01:26:19,371 --> 01:26:21,339
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Star, Star,
we don't have much time here.

1278
01:26:21,373 --> 01:26:23,042
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know,

1279
01:26:23,743 --> 01:26:25,610
but I feel like
I'm the Millennium Falcon

1280
01:26:25,645 --> 01:26:26,813
on the Death Star's
tractor beam.

1281
01:26:26,846 --> 01:26:27,780
I can't help myself.

1282
01:26:31,017 --> 01:26:32,517
Nice star.

1283
01:26:34,921 --> 01:26:36,354
You know my name?

1284
01:26:37,723 --> 01:26:39,759
Guys, bring
it down a notch. Come on.

1285
01:26:39,792 --> 01:26:41,894
Lady's allowed to get some
Skittles if she wants to.

1286
01:26:41,928 --> 01:26:43,629
It is a free country.

1287
01:26:44,130 --> 01:26:46,666
Yesterday these meatheads
almost took out an entire group

1288
01:26:46,699 --> 01:26:49,969
of church seniors whose bus
passed me by while I was jogging.

1289
01:26:50,002 --> 01:26:52,772
I told them,
"Hey, guys, guys,

1290
01:26:52,805 --> 01:26:57,043
only shoot the ones that don't have
their RNC cards on 'em."

1291
01:26:58,911 --> 01:27:00,112
That was a joke.

1292
01:27:01,681 --> 01:27:03,716
Whew. You're a tough crowd.

1293
01:27:05,017 --> 01:27:09,722
I just want you to know that
the door is closed between us.

1294
01:27:10,622 --> 01:27:12,457
- Excuse me, missy?
- The door,

1295
01:27:13,159 --> 01:27:16,394
it's closed between us.

1296
01:27:18,064 --> 01:27:20,365
It's over. Okay?

1297
01:27:21,566 --> 01:27:23,368
Well, alrighty then.

1298
01:27:26,538 --> 01:27:27,974
Thanks, Sam. I'll see you around

1299
01:27:28,007 --> 01:27:30,676
- Sam?
- See you, Mr. President?

1300
01:27:30,710 --> 01:27:31,744
Mr. President.

1301
01:27:35,081 --> 01:27:36,581
Okay.

1302
01:27:37,984 --> 01:27:39,118
Well?

1303
01:27:40,987 --> 01:27:42,688
Was it everything
you hoped it'd be?

1304
01:27:42,722 --> 01:27:45,390
Yeah. I think it was.

1305
01:27:48,661 --> 01:27:51,529
- Thanks.
- Could I help you two with anything?

1306
01:27:51,563 --> 01:27:55,600
I think my sister just
broke it off with George W.,

1307
01:27:55,635 --> 01:27:57,970
so we're good, sir.
You have a good day, okay?

1308
01:27:58,004 --> 01:27:59,504
- Bye!
- Come on, come on.

1309
01:28:44,150 --> 01:28:45,217
Let's go.

1310
01:28:46,451 --> 01:28:49,789
Holy shit, Star. We have less
than 30 minutes to do this.

1311
01:28:49,822 --> 01:28:52,658
What's the plan? Pretty sure
you can't just walk up there

1312
01:28:52,692 --> 01:28:54,860
and throw something
inside the whale's mouth.

1313
01:28:54,894 --> 01:28:57,163
- What about your otters?
- Oh, good point. Keys.

1314
01:28:57,196 --> 01:29:01,067
They're a family, and family
needs air conditioning. Okay.

1315
01:29:01,100 --> 01:29:03,069
We're not taking the otters.

1316
01:29:03,102 --> 01:29:05,204
Plus I've learned from
experience that a fast getaway

1317
01:29:05,237 --> 01:29:07,206
is needed,
so it's good to, you know,

1318
01:29:07,239 --> 01:29:08,774
- leave the car running.
- Good to know.

1319
01:29:09,875 --> 01:29:11,143
Hurry up!

1320
01:29:12,912 --> 01:29:15,247
- Okay. Where is it?
- I don't know.

1321
01:29:16,215 --> 01:29:17,817
We'll just keep looking.

1322
01:29:19,685 --> 01:29:21,687
- I can't see anything, Brandon.
- You're right. It's all right.

1323
01:29:21,721 --> 01:29:24,924
- Gotta be in here somewhere.
- Brandon, there it is.

1324
01:29:28,260 --> 01:29:30,296
- Oh, my...
- Wow.

1325
01:29:30,329 --> 01:29:32,698
Okay. Okay. All right.

1326
01:29:32,732 --> 01:29:35,868
Uh, what... what do we do?

1327
01:29:35,901 --> 01:29:38,004
So now, if you follow me,

1328
01:29:38,037 --> 01:29:39,872
we've got a special treat
for you.

1329
01:29:39,905 --> 01:29:43,743
It's the behind-the-scenes tour
with our star,

1330
01:29:43,776 --> 01:29:46,679
- Sasha the whale!
- Brandon...

1331
01:29:46,712 --> 01:29:49,581
You'll get to see
an intimate feeding session

1332
01:29:49,614 --> 01:29:52,118
- Shh.
- It's gonna be Christmas and Halloween

1333
01:29:52,151 --> 01:29:54,787
all in one. Right this way.

1334
01:29:56,088 --> 01:29:57,957
- Let's go, alright?
- Alright.

1335
01:30:10,302 --> 01:30:12,838
Here at the Roderick
Texas Aquarium,

1336
01:30:12,872 --> 01:30:16,075
we're not only famous
for our over 3,000

1337
01:30:16,108 --> 01:30:18,711
different aquatic species,
but also

1338
01:30:18,744 --> 01:30:22,248
for our most famous resident,
Sasha the whale.

1339
01:30:26,152 --> 01:30:29,955
- There she is.
- Behind this reinforced corrugated steel tank

1340
01:30:29,989 --> 01:30:33,926
is 360 metric tons of ionized,

1341
01:30:33,959 --> 01:30:36,062
purified salt water.

1342
01:30:36,095 --> 01:30:39,965
We've recreated an orca's
natural environment

1343
01:30:39,999 --> 01:30:43,102
to give her the utmost comfort
here at the park.

1344
01:30:44,003 --> 01:30:47,840
Sasha's an orca, or according to
her scientific classification,

1345
01:30:47,873 --> 01:30:52,144
an orcinus orca.
She's an adolescent female

1346
01:30:52,178 --> 01:30:56,682
and weights three-and-a-half
tons. That's heavy.

1347
01:30:57,349 --> 01:30:59,985
If this works
and we don't get arrested,

1348
01:31:00,019 --> 01:31:02,321
I will walk through downtown
Des Moines butt naked.

1349
01:31:06,659 --> 01:31:08,828
Don't worry.
She can't get out of there.

1350
01:31:08,861 --> 01:31:10,863
She's harmless anyway.

1351
01:31:10,896 --> 01:31:12,631
Jesus Christ.

1352
01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:16,402
- Okay, Sherlock. What's the plan here?
- Um...

1353
01:31:16,435 --> 01:31:19,604
How exactly are we gonna get that thing
to swallow Mom's ashes? Seriously.

1354
01:31:22,775 --> 01:31:24,877
Okay. We need a fish.
That's what we need.

1355
01:31:24,910 --> 01:31:26,779
- Are you crazy?
- Why?

1356
01:31:26,812 --> 01:31:28,380
I have seen this movie.
It ends up with my arm

1357
01:31:28,414 --> 01:31:30,316
being chomped off
by a killer whale

1358
01:31:30,349 --> 01:31:33,686
while the whole thing
is streamed on YouTube

1359
01:31:33,719 --> 01:31:36,288
by that little girl over there.
We have a friend.

1360
01:31:36,322 --> 01:31:39,358
- Seriously, we need a plan.
- We have exactly seven minutes to do this,

1361
01:31:39,391 --> 01:31:42,695
shoot a picture over to Ira or all
of this was for not. Seriously.

1362
01:31:42,728 --> 01:31:44,797
Come on. Look how far
we've come. Please.

1363
01:31:44,830 --> 01:31:46,298
This isn't the real Sasha.

1364
01:31:47,032 --> 01:31:49,902
- Huh?
- The real Sasha passed away.

1365
01:31:49,935 --> 01:31:53,205
- This is Sasha number two.
- Good to know.

1366
01:31:53,239 --> 01:31:56,876
Okay. And that wraps up our
special behind-the-scenes tour.

1367
01:31:56,909 --> 01:31:59,445
Everyone here
at the Roderick Texas Aquarium

1368
01:31:59,478 --> 01:32:01,780
hopes you had a whale of a day.

1369
01:32:01,814 --> 01:32:04,717
Well, everyone follow me.

1370
01:32:05,284 --> 01:32:06,252
Open it.

1371
01:32:08,187 --> 01:32:09,855
- Open it.
- I think you should do it, okay?

1372
01:32:09,889 --> 01:32:11,957
No. No.
You're the man, open it.

1373
01:32:11,991 --> 01:32:13,926
I'm a bitter, confused
potential atheist.

1374
01:32:13,959 --> 01:32:15,394
Gender does not come
into play here.

1375
01:32:15,427 --> 01:32:17,429
- You do it.
- Brandon! I'll do it.

1376
01:32:18,397 --> 01:32:19,398
Careful. Careful.

1377
01:32:22,034 --> 01:32:23,169
Hey, Mom.

1378
01:32:24,069 --> 01:32:25,971
- This is it?
- Yeah, that's Mom.

1379
01:32:26,005 --> 01:32:28,007
What do...
where's the rest of her?

1380
01:32:28,040 --> 01:32:30,009
What do you mean "rest of her?"
Without being graphic,

1381
01:32:30,042 --> 01:32:32,211
this is what happens when
they incinerate your whole body.

1382
01:32:32,244 --> 01:32:33,412
That's what's left.

1383
01:32:34,780 --> 01:32:35,748
Brandon.

1384
01:32:36,982 --> 01:32:39,418
- What? What's wrong with it?
- She was always so there, right?

1385
01:32:39,451 --> 01:32:43,088
Isn't this crazy? I mean, her whole
life reduced to this. It's just...

1386
01:32:45,424 --> 01:32:48,994
- It's so simple.
- That's life.

1387
01:32:51,997 --> 01:32:55,467
- I know it's crazy, but...
- What are you doing with that?

1388
01:32:55,501 --> 01:33:01,273
Um, we're just, uh, you know, wanting to spend
an extra few minutes with Sasha is all.

1389
01:33:01,307 --> 01:33:05,444
- Yeah.
- Yeah. We're, uh, we're friends with her.

1390
01:33:07,813 --> 01:33:11,917
Yeah. Yeah. We just, uh,
want to give her a snack and,

1391
01:33:11,951 --> 01:33:15,020
you know, say our goodbyes.
So why don't you run off to your parents

1392
01:33:15,054 --> 01:33:17,423
and... and we'll do
just that, okay? Okay.

1393
01:33:17,456 --> 01:33:20,392
- Snack?
- Yeah. Yeah.

1394
01:33:20,426 --> 01:33:23,128
A snack because, um, we...

1395
01:33:23,929 --> 01:33:25,297
- are friends with her.
- Friends with her.

1396
01:33:25,331 --> 01:33:27,433
Yeah. Okay. Listen.

1397
01:33:28,234 --> 01:33:30,035
- Get that fish from there.
- I can't...

1398
01:33:30,069 --> 01:33:31,804
- Shove the packet in its mouth...
- I can't do the...

1399
01:33:31,837 --> 01:33:33,305
And throw the thing
over to Sasha.

1400
01:33:33,339 --> 01:33:35,107
I can't do the raw fish.
I have a thing.

1401
01:33:35,140 --> 01:33:37,376
- What do you mean?
- I gag with raw fish.

1402
01:33:37,409 --> 01:33:39,945
- I can't go anywhere near a raw fish.
- Brandon, Brandon,

1403
01:33:39,979 --> 01:33:41,513
you're gay, okay?
Gays love sushi.

1404
01:33:41,547 --> 01:33:43,515
It's a new genetic code.
You'll be fine.

1405
01:33:43,549 --> 01:33:45,317
As long as we don't
bring too much attention

1406
01:33:45,351 --> 01:33:46,885
to ourselves,
everything's gonna be fine...

1407
01:33:50,055 --> 01:33:52,324
- They're playing with Sasha.
- kay. Brandon the jig is up.

1408
01:33:52,358 --> 01:33:54,360
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Okay, okay.

1409
01:33:54,393 --> 01:33:56,996
Brandon get the biggest fish,
the biggest fish!

1410
01:33:57,029 --> 01:33:59,331
Get the biggest one
and come over.

1411
01:33:59,365 --> 01:34:01,166
Now, shove the packet
in its mouth.

1412
01:34:01,200 --> 01:34:03,035
- Shove it in its mouth.
- Oh, my God.

1413
01:34:03,068 --> 01:34:05,170
- oh, my God.
- I can't do it.

1414
01:34:05,204 --> 01:34:07,573
It's not gonna fit inside
his mouth, Star.

1415
01:34:07,606 --> 01:34:09,308
You're gonna have to rip it
open and hand stuff it.

1416
01:34:09,341 --> 01:34:11,377
- So rip the bag open.
- Okay. Hang on.

1417
01:34:11,410 --> 01:34:13,912
- Rip it open, rip it open.
- Just give me one second.

1418
01:34:13,946 --> 01:34:15,848
- Okay, okay. Just try. Just try.
- I got this.

1419
01:34:15,881 --> 01:34:18,083
- Just give it to me. Okay.
- Let me tear it. Hang on.

1420
01:34:18,117 --> 01:34:20,119
Okay. Just hurry up!
Give it to me!

1421
01:34:20,152 --> 01:34:22,288
- Let go of it for two seconds!
- No! You let go, Brandon.

1422
01:34:22,321 --> 01:34:23,322
Oh!

1423
01:34:27,493 --> 01:34:28,494
I, uh...

1424
01:34:31,063 --> 01:34:34,033
- what do we do?
- I don't know. Try and put her back.

1425
01:34:36,201 --> 01:34:40,372
I'm sorry, Mom. Oh, God.

1426
01:34:52,584 --> 01:34:54,053
"Dear Poochies,

1427
01:34:56,255 --> 01:34:59,258
wow, you really did it. I was
just fucking with you."

1428
01:34:59,291 --> 01:35:00,159
Oh, God.

1429
01:35:01,493 --> 01:35:04,263
"Who wants to be swallowed
by a whale anyway?

1430
01:35:05,632 --> 01:35:07,232
Hope this brought you together.

1431
01:35:08,300 --> 01:35:11,570
That was my real last wish.
Love, Mom."

1432
01:35:14,641 --> 01:35:19,244
- Well...
- Well, what do you want to do now?

1433
01:35:19,978 --> 01:35:21,280
I don't know.

1434
01:35:22,081 --> 01:35:22,981
Thanks, Mom.

1435
01:35:23,615 --> 01:35:25,351
Thanks, Mom!

1436
01:35:25,384 --> 01:35:27,052
Hey! You guys,
what are you doing?

1437
01:35:27,086 --> 01:35:28,320
Run. Run.

1438
01:35:28,354 --> 01:35:30,089
- What?
- Wait, wait.

1439
01:35:30,122 --> 01:35:31,990
Let's get a picture, come on!

1440
01:35:32,024 --> 01:35:33,492
Cheese!

1441
01:35:33,525 --> 01:35:35,594
Okay. Run! Go!

1442
01:35:39,632 --> 01:35:41,400
Go, go, go, go!

1443
01:35:42,968 --> 01:35:46,071
I think we lost them! Go B!
The other way!

1444
01:35:46,105 --> 01:35:48,607
- Go! Hurry up, hurry up!
- Get in, get in, get in, get in.

1445
01:35:49,375 --> 01:35:51,944
Oh, God, oh, God. Check
the otters, check the otters!

1446
01:35:51,977 --> 01:35:54,079
Okay, they're good.

1447
01:35:54,113 --> 01:35:55,447
- Are they okay?
- Yeah.

1448
01:35:55,481 --> 01:35:57,282
- Here we go.
- One second.

1449
01:35:57,316 --> 01:35:59,451
- We have to. One second.
- What? Star!

1450
01:35:59,485 --> 01:36:02,254
Just one second, Brandon!
I have to! One second.

1451
01:36:02,287 --> 01:36:04,490
Oh, my God,
what are you doing?

1452
01:36:04,523 --> 01:36:06,158
We don't have time for this.

1453
01:36:10,329 --> 01:36:12,030
Come oh, hurry up,
they're coming!

1454
01:36:13,132 --> 01:36:15,901
Come on! Okay,
okay, okay, okay.

1455
01:36:16,636 --> 01:36:18,103
- Okay.
- Get in, get in, get in!

1456
01:36:18,137 --> 01:36:19,438
For Mom. Go!

1457
01:36:19,471 --> 01:36:21,306
- Go, go, go!
- There they are!

1458
01:36:21,340 --> 01:36:23,542
Go! Whoo!

1459
01:36:25,678 --> 01:36:27,179
We love you, Mom!

1460
01:36:30,683 --> 01:36:33,986
You're crazy, Star.
You are crazy.

1461
01:36:35,220 --> 01:36:39,425
- Go, go, go!
- Goodbye!

1462
01:36:39,458 --> 01:36:41,293
- Ah-ooo!
- Whoo!

1463
01:36:41,326 --> 01:36:44,697
Oo-oo-ooh! Oh, shit,
this is a one way.

1464
01:36:44,731 --> 01:36:47,065
This is a one way.
We're good. We're good.

1465
01:37:50,830 --> 01:37:52,297
Alright.

1466
01:37:54,533 --> 01:37:56,134
- Let's do it.
- Okay.

1467
01:38:07,747 --> 01:38:08,781
Alright.

1468
01:38:10,650 --> 01:38:13,485
Now, the map said it's
a protected landmark area, so

1469
01:38:14,152 --> 01:38:16,221
- it should be nice.
- Hurry up!

1470
01:38:16,255 --> 01:38:18,190
- Come on!
- I'm coming!

1471
01:38:19,124 --> 01:38:21,460
Uh, Brandon?

1472
01:38:22,561 --> 01:38:24,631
Whoa, what is that?

1473
01:38:25,665 --> 01:38:27,634
- Is that...
- A sign.

1474
01:38:28,701 --> 01:38:31,638
- Come on. Come on!
- All right.

1475
01:38:31,671 --> 01:38:33,138
Let's do it!

1476
01:38:36,241 --> 01:38:38,410
Right here. Okay.
Let's say a prayer.

1477
01:38:38,443 --> 01:38:39,344
- Okay.
- Okay.

1478
01:38:41,613 --> 01:38:42,649
Dear Heavenly Father,

1479
01:38:43,650 --> 01:38:46,351
thank you for this beautiful
and very relevant

1480
01:38:46,385 --> 01:38:48,186
setting for our friends here.

1481
01:38:48,220 --> 01:38:49,288
Family, come on.

1482
01:38:49,321 --> 01:38:50,455
Family.

1483
01:38:51,623 --> 01:38:53,726
Please watch over them
and guide them

1484
01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:55,394
for the rest
of their little lives.

1485
01:38:55,427 --> 01:38:57,162
- Amen.
- A-woman.

1486
01:38:59,632 --> 01:39:03,335
Okay. Hey, guys, listen up.

1487
01:39:03,368 --> 01:39:04,804
This the real world, okay?

1488
01:39:04,837 --> 01:39:06,538
This ain't gonna be easy.

1489
01:39:06,572 --> 01:39:08,808
There are storms
and hunters and alligators

1490
01:39:08,841 --> 01:39:11,577
that are gonna eat you.
But my advice.

1491
01:39:11,610 --> 01:39:13,579
You stick together,
you're family,

1492
01:39:13,612 --> 01:39:15,280
and you'll be just fine.

1493
01:39:16,816 --> 01:39:17,850
Okay. Let's do this.
On three?

1494
01:39:17,884 --> 01:39:19,451
On three.

1495
01:39:19,484 --> 01:39:22,487
One, two, three. Whoo!

1496
01:39:24,289 --> 01:39:25,892
- Whoo!
- Freedom!

1497
01:39:25,925 --> 01:39:27,259
Go, go, go, go, go!

1498
01:39:27,292 --> 01:39:29,328
Freedom!

1499
01:39:30,495 --> 01:39:33,599
Bye! Go!

1500
01:39:34,734 --> 01:39:36,401
- Be free!
- Freedom!

1501
01:39:36,435 --> 01:39:37,603
Whoo!

1502
01:39:40,572 --> 01:39:42,374
- Wow.
- They're so cute.

1503
01:39:43,609 --> 01:39:45,310
Good job, Star.

1504
01:39:47,412 --> 01:39:50,750
Home sweet home.
Look at them go.

1505
01:40:00,893 --> 01:40:01,894
What do you think?

1506
01:40:04,229 --> 01:40:05,632
I think they're gonna be okay.

1507
01:40:08,500 --> 01:40:10,402
- And us?
- Us?

1508
01:40:11,638 --> 01:40:12,672
Us.

1509
01:40:14,206 --> 01:40:15,574
We're pretty much fucked.

1510
01:40:54,513 --> 01:40:56,281
Where the hell are we?

1511
01:41:01,721 --> 01:41:03,823
Go
over there and park over there,

1512
01:41:04,523 --> 01:41:07,026
and we'll make sure that
we go and take our picture.

1513
01:41:10,897 --> 01:41:12,531
- You love taking pictures.
- Ah!

1514
01:41:12,564 --> 01:41:14,232
You're so good
at taking pictures.

1515
01:41:14,266 --> 01:41:15,802
- All right.
- It's very good.

1516
01:41:15,835 --> 01:41:17,770
You're very distracting,
okay? Let me drive.

1517
01:41:17,804 --> 01:41:19,504
- Very distracting.
- Yes, we can go. Let me drive.

1518
01:41:21,473 --> 01:41:24,376
You know, sometimes I think
Adele speaks like this.

1519
01:41:24,844 --> 01:41:26,545
This is a very good
Adele accent.

1520
01:41:26,578 --> 01:41:28,748
Can you do an Adele accent

1521
01:41:28,781 --> 01:41:30,950
or an Aussie accent, mate?
Good day, Mate,

1522
01:41:30,983 --> 01:41:33,886
how's it going? Have a beer
and a shrimp on the barby.

1523
01:41:33,920 --> 01:41:35,755
Was an African
over there, brother?

1524
01:41:35,788 --> 01:41:37,690
What's your favorite accident?

1525
01:41:38,457 --> 01:41:41,761
- They're all terrible.
- How about you do an English accent?

1526
01:41:41,794 --> 01:41:43,328
Hello, Puppet,

1527
01:41:43,361 --> 01:41:44,731
I'm your governor.

1528
01:41:44,764 --> 01:41:46,331
That is terrible.

1529
01:41:46,364 --> 01:41:48,500
Can I have a cup
of tea and scones?

1530
01:41:48,935 --> 01:41:51,738
- Right?
- You are like the worst...

1531
01:41:51,771 --> 01:41:54,741
you should never do
an English accent.

1532
01:41:54,774 --> 01:41:57,609
- That was good.
- No. You should never do an English accent.

1533
01:41:57,643 --> 01:41:59,478
- I know I'm good.
- Your English accent is like...

1534
01:41:59,511 --> 01:42:01,914
- Listen again.
- Hello, puppet.

1535
01:42:01,948 --> 01:42:04,382
Care to have
a cup of tea, Governor?

1536
01:42:04,416 --> 01:42:06,284
- That's perfect.
- Oh, my God, Governor,

1537
01:42:06,318 --> 01:42:07,787
- my name's Adele.
- That's perfect.

1538
01:42:07,820 --> 01:42:09,956
- My name's Adele.
- Who's Adele?

1539
01:42:10,857 --> 01:42:12,725
She's... I don't know.

1540
01:42:12,759 --> 01:42:15,560
I'm just fucking with you.
I know who Adele is.

1541
01:42:16,394 --> 01:42:18,631
Good day, mate.

1542
01:42:19,065 --> 01:42:20,599
That's a good
Australian accent.

1543
01:42:20,633 --> 01:42:22,034
Cheers, mate.