Heart of Destruction: Part 10

Part 10: Bridging the Gap
>The next day, you are sitting in your makeshift bed when Twilight walks into the barn and takes her usual seat at the other end. For a few moments, neither of you say a thing. Then you both speak at the same time.
> “Anon, I-”
“Twilight, I-”
>You both stop.
>“You first.”
“You first.”
>At the same time again.
“You go first. I have…a lot to say.”
> “Anonymous, I’m sorry for prying into your private life. That’s your business and I had no right to pester you about that,” she says, looking at her hooves, “I just hope we can still be friends.”
“Of course we’re still friends, Twilight. You are…a better friend than I deserve. You did nothing wrong yesterday, and I’m sorry I got so angry. You deserve an explanation.”
> “Anon,” she says softly, “it’s not important. You don’t have to do this.”
“No, I do. I need to say this. For both of us. Twilight, you were right. I am scared. I’m scared of you. Scared of how I feel around you. Scared of what you might do to me, and scared of what I might do to you.
“When I was young, in grade school, there was girl. She was pretty and smart, and I had a bit of a crush on her. My friend had a sleepover, and we played truth and dare, and I told them about her. I never did find out which of my friends told. All I know is the next day, everyone in school knew. They laughed and shouted it on the playground, right in front of me, not caring of my embarrassment. It made me…shy. Frightened. The girl actually tried to talk to me the next day.”
> “What’d you do?”
“I ran. I made an excuse, and walked away as fast as I could. I was scared of her. I was scared to talk to girls for quite a long time.”
>You hesitate for moment. This entire time, you have not raised your head. You want to finish before you dare to see Twilight’s reaction.
“I know it’s stupid, being affected so much by something so small.”
> “It’s not stupid,” says Twilight. In surprise, you look up at her, and see pity in her eyes. “You were just sensitive.”
“Yes. Sensitive. Emotional. And because of that, I was betrayed by my friends, by my classmates, and by my emotions. I was hurt because of my emotions. For a long time, I didn’t allow myself to get close to anyone. At first it was fear, but over the years, I overcame my shyness. Now, I keep people away simply because it’s easier. Friends disappoint you. Emotions hurt you. So I sought to control them, to block them, until it became normal for me.
“Twilight, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of getting hurt by you. But even more, I’m afraid of what I may do to you. I’ve been closed off for so long, I…I’m not sure I know how to open up anymore. I’m not sure I can fully connect with others. I don’t think I can be…the friend you deserve to have.”
> “I think that’s for me to decide, Anon,” says Twilight, “and you are a great friend. You are brave and strong, but gentle. I know you care very much for others, even if you don’t believe you do. And I know that if you open up your heart, you will be able to connect to others, and it’ll be worth any pain.”
>You look across the barn at her. Never before has the distance you are forced to keep from her seemed so great.
“Twilight, there are…some feelings that can’t be properly expressed through words. Feelings that are better said through touch. The comfort of a hand, the joy of an embrace. I wish, more than anything, that I didn’t have this, this, anti-magic aura around me. I wish I could…that I could show you my gratitude. That I could show you how much you mean to me.”
> “I know, Anon, I know. And I’m thankful to you for sharing your feelings. If you don’t want to tell me more about yourself, I’d understand. But I hope you will.”
>You smile at her.
“I think I’m ready, Twilight. What do you want to know?”
> “Oh, I don’t know. Let’s start with your family.”
>For the rest of the day, the two of you talk and share stories of your personal lives. And though the gap that separates you physically cannot be bridged, the distance between your hearts begins to close.

>The next day is a gray one. Dark clouds cover the sky, and every now and then you see a Pegasus rearrange them. They must be preparing for a storm. Despite this, Twilight still arrives at your barn at the usual time. In contrast to the weather, she seems rather cheerful.
“Hello Twilight,” you say, your heart speeding slightly and a small grin growing on your face, “You seem pretty happy today.”
> “I am happy, because I’ve got a letter from Celestia!” she says, “and it should help you with your problems!”
“What?”
> “Yeah, I told her about what happened to you, and she says that-”
“You WHAT?!” you shout.
>Twilight jumps at your voice. She looks at you, confused.
> “Well, yeah. I thought she could give some good advice to help you.”
“You knew how I felt about trusting others! You knew I don’t like sharing personal things with others. And in less than a day, you tell someone else about my most embarrassing moment!”
> “She’s not just someone! She’s the princess! My teacher! She can be trusted.”
“It doesn’t matter who you told!” you shout. “I told you those things in private, and you didn’t keep it to yourself.  I trusted you, Twilight. I trusted you. But you’re just like everyone else.”
> “I didn’t think-”
“I can see that,” you snap.
> “Anonymous, please! I wasn’t trying to hurt you. You have to understand, she’s my teacher.”
“Of course. And you have to report on your research subject,” you say, turning your back on her.
> “Anon-”
“I was a fool to think you really cared about me.”
> “Anon!”
“Just…Just go away, Twilight.”
>The unicorn starts to walk away, then stops. No. She’s not going to let this happen again. She’s not going to let it end like this.
> “Anonymous, you’re more than a subject. I do care about you. And this time, I’m going to prove it.”
“I said go away,” you say, turning around.
>You feel the blood drain from your face when you see what Twilight is doing.
>She’s crossed the line. The line you drew to mark the edge of your magic nullifying aura.
“Twilight, what are you doing?”
> “It’s okay, Anon. It’s okay,” she says, her voice strangely serene, her purple eyes locked on you.
“Twilight, the line! You can’t be this close!” You try to get out of the way, but she moves quickly to block your path. Slowly, you find yourself herded towards the corner of the barn.
“Twilight, stop it!”
> “Remember what you said? About some feelings being easier to express through touch? I need to show you how I feel.”
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” you roar, using your deepest, scariest voice in an attempt to scare her away.
>She’s in range of your effect now. You can see her face twitching as the pain grows.
“Twilight,” you plead, “please. Don’t do this. I’m sorry for getting mad. It’s okay that you told. Please, j-just get away from me!”
>“I have to do this,” she murmurs, her teeth clenched. “I have to show you. You’re more than a subject. You…you’re more than a friend. Anon…I…I l-”
>She pitches forward and collapses in a heap. As you look in shock, you see a small trickle of scarlet blood creep from her nostril.
“Oh god. Twilight? TWILIGHT!”
>You have to get away from her. You look around, trying to find a way out, but she had herded into a corner. Even hugging the wall, getting past her would mean getting closer to her prone body. That could kill. But so would staying in place. There’s only one way out. You turn around, clench your fist, and strike the wooden wall of the barn.
>Again and again, you hit the wall. You punch. You kick. You ram into it with your shoulder. With each frantic, furious blow, the boards creak and crack. Finally, the boards give, and with your bare hands, you rip at the wood, tearing away at the hole until it was large enough to crawl through. It wouldn’t be until later that you notice the bruising and bleeding of your knuckles or the scoring of your back and shoulders from the jagged edge of the hole. For now, your only thoughts were of Twilight. As you scramble through the hole, you shout as loud as you can.
> “APPLEJACK! SOMEBODY! HELP!”
>As you scream, the rain begins to fall.