Thread 4: Stories 105-120

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Shining's Dad
"Pish Posh"
~~~~~~

>Pish old chum, good to see you!

"Indeed, nice to see you out and about on this fine day as well. I take it your wife wanted to come out to the park for a stroll?"

>No better time to do it.

"Yes, well, I noticed there's a..."

>Hm?

"Well, there's a Changeling hanging around your wife. I didn't even know they were allowed in this park!"

>Oh, that's Applejack 2. My son dropped her off with us for the weekend. Said he was going to be too busy and didn't want her to be bored.

"Oh, he has one of those around for his own personal uses? Well, I can't say *I* would ever want one in my home, but I suppose their shapeshifting powers would make for an enjoyable time."

>... Going to pretend you meant that in a kind sense. Anyway, are you out with the wife as well?

"Well, I was. But she didn't want to be around one of them. Poor thing is actually worried with myself around them as well! I'm glad your wife isn't as worried about you. Very trusting, I take it?"

>...

"Personally, if it were my daughter with that Changeling, I'd be more worried in your place. Who knows what-"

>My son is likely the best shield sorcerer on the planet and personally repelled an entire invasion. If he wanted, he could crush something pony shaped very, very easily. Like you.

"What!?

>Yes. My son, the PRINCE, could very easily crush you if he heard you talking like that about the Changeling he's all but adopted. And if he didn't feel like it, my daughter, the PRINCESS, could do it even easier.

"Y-you're scaring me."

>But neither of them need to. Because if I hear you mouthing off like that one more time, I'LL handle it. Personally. Understand?

"...yes, of course."

>Good. Now, if you don't mind, 2 is waving me over. She wants to make sandcastles. It'll break her heart when I tell her that you can't put stickers on a sandcastle, but she'll try anyway. Have a nice day.

"Y-you too."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Rainbow Dash
"Soarin"
'Spitfire'
*Fleetfoot*
~~~~~
>Hey, Soarin, thanks for helping out with the paper work today.

"Oh! No problem. It's just that you've seemed pretty stressed since you took over and I used to be a bit of a paper pusher for the team anyway"

>You? Get out of here!

"Yeah, I used to write the fan mail replies for Spitfire- Oops, I shouldn't have said that."

>Wow, so that explains the 'gay vibe's I got from Spitfire.

"Captain... I'm not gay."

>It's okay, Soarin, I don't judge you. I even took down Spitfire's "don't ask, don't tell policy"!

*You did?! Why am I always the last to hear about these things?!*

Fleetfoot rushes over to Spitfire and starts making out with her.

>Hey! Hey! No making out with the maid when she's on the clock!

'Argh! This is why I had that damn rule in place to begin with!'

*Shhh... tonight, your sign's gonna read Fleetfoot's Bitch."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Chrysalis
"Cheerilee"
~~~~~~~~~~

>What the fuck is this about?

"It's about your, um... son?"

>I don't have a kid!

"I'm referring to Applejack 56."

>Which one is that?

"Short, only one going to school, often on fire..."

>Be more specific.

"He loves asses."

>Oh! That one! Yeah, we're not related by blood.

"You're listed as his guardian."

>I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, I didn't read any of that.

"Well, regardless, I'm worried about his scholastic performance."

>...Did the words 'I taste your sadness' just appear on the chalkboard?

"No, that was always there."

>Just checking. Anyway, what do you want me to do about it? He's your problem, not mine.

"I was hoping you would help him more at home."

>How?

"Well, going over his homework would be a great start."

>Are you under the impression I know any of this stuff? I never went to school!

"O-oh! How embarrassing. And to think I was about to let the endless devour your soul for being so unfit a guardian! I never knew you had such struggles! Boy, is my face red."

>...It actually is, are those tears of blood?

"Never you mind. I'll work harder with him, don't worry. Who knows? Maybe he can teach you a thing or two? You can see yourself out whenever the chair stops floating."

>Cool. You know, I kind of like this place!

"You'd be the first."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Chrysalis
“Applejack 18”
______________

“My Queen, before you start, I know I haven’t managed to rustle Shining's berries yet but--”

>And I fear you never will. But then I began to ponder upon a few things, mulled over a few thoughts….

“Whoa, what? Mulled? Ponder? Since when did you know those wo--”

The glint of an empty coffee mug next to Chrysalis catches 18’s eye and she swallows, suddenly anxious.

“Oh shit… wasn't it a law around here to never give you cof--”

>It seems that you, and those other rogue Changelings of mine, have become quite the adored subjects as of late.

“Adored? Wh- pardon my French, but how in the hell did you come to that ludicrous conclusion?”

>It has to do with my ponderings. We Changelings thrive off of love, do we not?

“Well… yeah?”

>Without that love, we grow frail, weak, barely able to support our own weight. And yet, long after my failed invasion, here we are, just as bouncy and peppy as that psychotically disturbed pink pony. Do you know why?

Applejack 18 put a hoof to her bottom lip.

“Because, uh… you’ve been feeding us your love reserves…?”

>A good guess, but no. Whether given willingly or subconsciously, love finds it way into the intended heart. As an example, look at Applejack 2. Shining Armor does not give her his love in the ‘steal it from me’ fashion we are used to. No, he gives it to her with kindness, by playing with her, making her laugh, feeding her those ‘marchmalley’s’ she loves so.

“…”

>And though he denies your wanton attempts at bedding him, he gives you his love as well, through words, through his actions, and by his happiness whenever you assist with his paperwork. Even though we’re lodged in the Canterlot castle, he could very much have you restrained for impersonating his wife, and yet he does not. He cares for you.

“I… really?”

>It’s the only reason that you, 2, and the others are still on your hooves to this day. You’re all receiving love in some shape or form, and a steady flow of it. As I felt so long ago, Shining Armor has massive stores of love, and he regularly doles it out to 2, you, and even 42 at times. Likewise, 56 gets most of his from Luna.

“Why… why are you telling me this, my Queen?”

>Food for thought, mostly. And it never hurts to know that one is cared for, despite outside appearances. You may go now as I do believe it’s around this time that Shining gets beat by 42. You might be able to catch him en route to his train back to the Crystal Empire.

The look on Applejack 18’s face is one of inner conflict before she smiles, becoming the very mirror image of Cadance in a wash of green light as she dashes out of the ballroom.

“I’ll bed him without fail this time!”

>I’m sure you will. … Hm, I really need to stop drinking coffee….
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Applejack
"Applejack 29"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Oh no, not you!

"Well helloooo~, little princess... hrm."

>'Hrm'? What 'hrm'?

"You... are you SURE you are a princess?"

>...what.

"It's just, I've known a LOT of royalty in my time, and, well... you're not exactly blowing me away here."

>Am Ah' supposed ta'? Tia brought me in cause Ah' actually have a sense o' responsibility and can manage paperwork.

"Well, yes, but surely you don't have to be so... bleh!"

>Look, iffin' ya' want a fancy somethin' or other, Rarity is down the hall.

"Tried that. That little dragon threatened me with a gun. Rule one, appleass, you NEVER piss off an armed dragon. All other rules are null and void after that one."

>Fair enough. So, ya'll don't want me?

"Ehhhhhhmmmmmeeehhhhhuuuuhhhnnnnnnnnyyyyyeeeeeeeee......No. Nope, I'm good. You might have a brain my dear, and QUITE the backside I must say, but everything else is like looking at a pony who was recently bludgeoned by a branch from the tree of 'meh'. I can do FAR better than you."

>Ya' really, really can't.

"It's always the wallflowers who think they're the prom queen, aren't they? Oh well, perhaps I'll try for Cadence again. Unlike you, she's got a bit of OOMF to her, know what I mean?"

>...Get the hell out o' mah' room.

"Don't have to tell me twice. Tata~!"

*He leaves*

>...shoot, iffin' Ah' knew it was that easy ta' get rid of him, Ah'd have done it when they first landed here. Should Ah' warn Cadence and tell him how to dissuade him from tryin' again?...Nah.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 -NEXT FIGHTERS GET READY, 13 TO THE RIGHT, 22 TO THE LEFT-

>Ok, are you sure you're alright with this? It's not too late. I don't want you getting hurt, but this is our best chance...

"Okie!"

>Cadance took the money for a hospital extension and spent it on perfume again... If we don't do this, a lot of sick ponies could die. Do you understand?

"Yeppers!"

>... Thank you. This means a lot to me. *He pulls her close for a hug, tears welling in his eyes*

>You're up sweetie, remember what I said!

"I will!"

>I'll call it off if anything goes wrong, I promise!

*Applejack 2 walks into the combatant's tunnel*

*Shining Armor heads for the coach's corner, a knot in his chest growing with every passing second*

>Oh... Oh god, what have I done...

- IN THE RED CORNER, FROM THE TOUGH STREETS OF CANTERLOT, THE FILLY WHO'LL KNOCK YOU SILLY, THE MARE WHO'S GOT A PAIR, TERRIBLE TWO-

*Applejack 2 walks out of the gate and sees the crowd cheering for her, she's nervous and looks for a place to hide from the attention. She can't find one and whimpers*

-IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE MINOTAUR TO LOOK OUT FOR, HIS MIGHT MAKES RIGHT, STONEFIST "ROCKY" BOULDER-

[You're gonna eat lightnin'; you're gonna crap thunder all over that changeling!]

>Applejack 2! It's ok, I'm here! Try to calm down!

[Hit her in the ribs ya see? Don't let that bug breathe!]

*Stonefist charges towards Applejack 2 with the speed of a practiced boxer, his red gloves almost a blur as they smack her in the side with the force of a small train*

*Applejack 2 stands in place, unmoved and seemingly unphased. She looks around the ring for anything fun or colorful*

>Don't move Applejack 2, stand still!

*Stonefist unleashes a rapid flurry of punches into her side, she doesn't budge an inch or even seem to notice*

[It ain't workin', ya bum! Take the gloves off!]

*Stonefist removed his red boxing gloves and winds up a haymaker right for Applejack 2's face*

*It connects and Applejack 2 flinches the smallest amount*

*Her lip quivers and her eyes fill up with tears*

"S-Shiiiinnyyyyy! He hit meeeee!"

>OH GOD NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I'M SO SORRY APPLEJACK 2! REF! REF! WE SURRENDER, PLEASE STOP!

-THERE CAN BE NO FORFEIT IN THE FIRST NINETY SECONDS OF A MATCH, CONTINUE FIGHTING-

*Another powerful blow connects to her muzzle, it crinkles the tiniest amount*

"TELL HIM TO STOOOOP"

>I-I have an idea! Applejack 2, look at me!

*Shining Armor hides behind a newspaper, Applejack 2 looks on quizzically, momentarily forgetting the punches hitting her square in the jaw*

>Where's Shiny? Where'd he go? PEEKABOO!

"Tee-heengagh, again again!" *Applejack 2 giggles and the punches stop moving her*

>Where's Shiny? Whheree's Shiiny? PEEKABOO!

"A-hah-ah-he-he-he"

--------------

Ten minutes later

*Stonefist's pace has slowed to a crawl, he can barely stand as he continues laying light slaps across Applejack 2's withers*

>Peekaboo!

"Geh-huhuhuhuhuh"

*Stonefist makes one final feeble assault before collapsing to the ground from exhaustion*

-AND THE WINNER THROUGH TECHNICAL KNOCK OUT, TERRIBLE TWO-

-COACHES, SHAKE HANDS/HOOVES/CLAWS

[Ya lost ta a little gurl? Yer a bum, Stonefist, and ya always will be!]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Applejack 18
"Applejack 29"
~~~~~~~~~~

>Damn it...

"Unsuccessful, yet again?"

>Like you have any room to talk!

"I'm making my progress on a side mission, don't you worry your tiny little head. The LAST Changeling I want pointers from is you."

>UGH! At least I know how to pretend to be someone else! You never even TRY to make her think you're actually Shining Armor!

"...Well, obviously. I don't want her to make love to Shining Armor. I want her to have hot, unspeakably dirt sex with ME. Why on earth would I pretend to be him?"

>We're Changelings! THAT'S WHAT WE DO!

"No, that's what Changelings like YOU do. I, on the other hand, don't NEED to pretend to be someone more important than myself to get laid."

>Oh, like that's working!

"Oh, it'll work. And when it does, she won't scream in horror when she discovers I'm not her one true love- or when he discovers, either way- instead, they'll bask in what just happened, and BEG me to come back again and again! JUST YOU WAIT!"

*With that, he runs off... and is immediately fired out of the castle, again.*

>... wait, did he say something about a side mission?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Applejack 56
“Diamond Tiara”
‘Silver Spoon’
-Applebloom-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That little bug pest just won’t go away! I’ve tried blowing him up, using sulfuric acid, dynamite, potholes, a strain of the T-virus, kicking him, taunting him, and peeing in his food! And he’s STILL here!”

‘No offense, Tiara, but if you actually peed in his food we might have to have a little talk.’

“Well, no, I didn’t… but I’ve thought of doing it!”

‘Here’s a crazy thought. Instead of trying to destroy AJ56, why not put your ridiculously stupid-vast resources towards something noble, like helping ponies in the hospital?'

“Because this IS noble! Ridding my school of this terrible bug menace!”

‘You mean the same menace that’s currently sitting over there by Applebloom and blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk? Yeah, I can totally see the menace oozing off of him.’

“Say what?! How dare he! So he wants to sit next to the blankflank because he thinks we’re flatflanks, does he?”

‘I keep telling you, Tiara. He only called YOU a flatfla--'

“We’ll see about that! He should be sitting with us! C’mon, Silver Spoon!”

‘Your logic is so plot-on-head backwards….’

The two approach the lunch table to find Applejack 56 running his mouth off to Applebloom while she bangs her head on the table, repeatedly.


>So whatta ya say, ‘Bloom? You, me, this chocolate milk, sounds like a plan right? You can drizzle it over your rump and I can lick it off!

*WHAM WHAM WHAM*

>I know, right? Why didn’t I think of this before! I like plots and chocolate milk so why not mix them both together!

*WHAM WHAM WHAM*

“Excuuuuuse me! What exactly do you two think you’re doing?”

-Sufferin’ through the fifth ring o’ hell, if’n Ah had tuh guess…-

>Trying to get some chocolate apples going, flatflank!

“How dare you think you can steal this bug creature away from us, Appleloser!”

-Hey, if ya want ‘im, take ‘im. Take ‘im faaaaar over there. On the other end of Ponyville’s a nice distance.-

>But I don’t wanna go with that flatflank! Gross!

“You filthy monster, for once I’m trying to save you! You might catch the blankflank disease!”

>Better that than flatflank syndrome. I’ll take my chances.

When Silver Spoon giggled into her hoof, Diamond Tiara took a carton of chocolate milk and poured some of it down Silver’s backside.

‘T-Tiara! Ooooo~ That’s c-cold! What’re you-’

>Must. Follow. Chocolate booty.

“Good. Now, Spoon, bring him back to OUR table where he belongs.”

Silver Spoon turned around and gave her soaked rump an experimental wiggle, smiling at how 56’s gaze followed obediently as she led the hypnotized Changeling away.

“Ha! What say you now, blankflank, now that we’ve taken him for ourselves?”

-Thank ya!-

“Wait, what?”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Diamond Tiara
"Applejack 56"
~~~~~~~

In the middle of the playground, the tiny little world of Diamond Tiara slowly, but surely, crumbled around her. All though the destructive force of one tiny note.

>No....NOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Uh... yes?"

>She can't do this, I'LL SUE!

"Go ahead, her little friends would probably appreciate the provocation."

>...Crap, right, a pack of unholy terrors permeate her every waking moment, legal action is probably out of the equation. Which means...

"Which means if ya' don't want to fail, you've gotta make me smart!"

>Hmmmm.... no, no I don't.

"Uh-huh!"

>No, little Changeling, I do not, for you see-

"UH HUH!"

>...For you see-

"UHHH HUH!"

>WILL YOU STOP THAT!... for you see, when she made the decision to tie our test grades together, she overlooked one simple thing. She never said you had to obtain a perfect test score LEGITIMATELY! AHAHAHAHA!

"Isn't... isn't that just, like something that's assumed? I didn't think they had to explicitly tell you NOT to cheat."

>Oh, silly bug monster, you know nothing of politics!

"Do you? Aren't you like, ten? How do you know so much about the political intrigue of high class society when you, yourself, are in a largely political free area? The only noteworthy position is the mayor, and I don't actually think I've seen her DO anything political, and I've been watching. Her plot, mostly, but other stuff too."

>...Shut up. Point is, bug monster, you and I are going to break into her office, and STEAL THE ANSWERS! AHAHAHA!

"...Does she really need to keep an answer key? I was under the impression 'what color is daisy's dress' was pretty basic stuff. Is this more advanced than it's supposed to be?"

>Soon...SOON! THE ANSWERS WILL BE MINE! AHAHAHAH! AAAAHHAHAHAH!

"...Meh, not like I had anything better to do."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >29
'Sombra (Written)'
"Sombra (Speaking)"

'There you are, you bumbling fool, what took you so lo-'

Sombra gets a good look at 29.

'What happened to you? You look like you plied your charms on the Queen Mother of Rhinopolis!'

>I don't wanna talk about, mooses are bastards...

'I see, well the Usurper and 2 have departed on some form of bonding exercise. I know not how long they shall be gone, so I must continue with all haste, join me, insectoid.'

>Yeah, alright, just...as soon as there stops being two of you...

*flump*

"Grr..."

A few minutes later...

'Everything better? I admit my knowledge of healing magic has decayed with time.'

>I'm good, thanks. Fucking Moose Lee...

'Now join me here, I believe I've had a breakthrough, read this.'

>The Occult Encyclopedia...oh you underlined the passage. 'Those who would stand against the darker elements of Equestria would do well to familiarize himself with the grim beings that lie between life and death. The most definitive guide to this is the Bestiary of the Dead, in the possession of the Canterlot Occult Society.'

'The society was disbanded after Luna's uprising for swearing allegiance to her, therefore the only place that could possibly have that Bestiary...'

>You're doing the ellipses thing again.

"GWAR!"

>Is the Canterlot Royal Library! Jeez...so you want me to get that book too?

Sombra nods.

'Our research is at a standstill until you do.'

>Fine, see you in a day or so. No roaring, I can show myself out...you better have one hell of a dick for all this trouble, by the way, I mean it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Diamond Tiara
"AJ56"
'Applebloom'
"'Cheerilee"'
~~~~~~~~
The cover of darkness cloaked the two creatures standing atop the roof of the school like a shroud, making them akin to shadows. Well, mostly, it wasn't all that dark out, seeing as they had to be in before curfew, but mostly shadowish. Shadowish enough.

>Will you lower her slower, you unskilled bufooon!

"It's hard! Unlike you, she actually has a decent plot, which ways more than your bony backside is used to!"

'How'd Ah' get roped inta' this?'

>By getting a forty on your last test and being too embarrassed to admit it to your simple older brother!

'He ain't simple!'

"Yeah, he's pretty complex. I mean, a guy, AND he has a decent backside? That's pretty unique. I respect him."

'...ignorin' that. What am ah' lookin fer in here?'

>The correct test answers, obviously! I know you might not recognize them right away, being an idiot, but at least try!

'All Ah' see is a bottle of some kind o' scotch, a loaded gun, a bunch of blood stained papers with various jibberish written on 'em, and what looks like a fortune cookie with a tiny, breathin' bird in it.'

>...How has this school not been shut down?

"Right? They should TOTALLY rebrand this place as an amusement park, it's amazing!"

'Oh, and there's a red-eyed, withered husk of a wolf carcass under the desk.... wait, mah' mistake, it just moved.'

>...

"..."

'...PULL ME UP PULL MEUPPULLMEUP!'

*CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER!*

>AAAAHHHHHHH

'AHHHHHHH!'

"COOOOOL!"

~~~~~~~later~~~~~~~

"'Well, I hope you all learned something!"'

>That if I ask you to give 56 and Applebloom perfect marks, I won't mention the unseen monster that almost ate a student, and have my dad bomb this place to hell and back?

"'That's right! Good day, children!"'

>...Well, success all around, right everyone!

'Never sleepin' again never sleepin' again never sleepin' again....'

"Freaking. LOVE. THIS. PLACE!"

>...I think it was a success.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Celestia
"Applejack 29"
~~~~~~~

>What do you want, little insect?

"Oh~ But it's not what *I* want, my oh so tall white beauty! It's what YOU want, and in how many ways I can deliver it to you."

>Hm?

"I've finally decided I have the skills to tackle someone like you. Oh, how I wondered for so long whether or not I could, but now I know. Name a desire, and I can fulfill it beyond your wildest imagination!"

>...Pft....SNk.....PFFFFTHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"You doubt me? I can prove it."

>HAHA~ oh wow, do you want to die?

"No need to be so hasty, I assure you I can-"

>Because having sex with me? Instant death."

"...Come again?"

>Let me break it down for you real quick. Right now, I am holding IMMENSE magical power within my form. Enough magical power to lift this entire castle off the ground. The only reason I can control it is immense, iron clad mental training. Surely you've heard of the chaos Twilight caused when her powers went out of control? Think of that, times a thousand.

"Uh..."

>And I want you to picture real quick what would happen if I were to lose myself, say, in the throes of passion? What were to happen if I was so HOT, and BURSTING with ecstasy!? What were to happen if the very sun itself went off, IN YOUR LAP. Think about that for the briefest of moments, and then ask again.

"...hmmm..."

>Because let me be frank with you, I'll do it. I'll drag you into Everfree right now, and show you what one THOUSAND years can do to a sexual appetite. No other pony is suicidal enough to even attempt it, and even if they were I would turn them down out of concern for their well being. But you, little Changeling? I will light you up like a candle. So go ahead and ask yourself, is it really worth your life?

"...Nah, probably not. Plenty of other royalty out there. Though I do appreciate the offer, and the AMAZING mental imagery. Ciao~, my new favorite princess!"*He leaves*

>...Still got it. Chess mistress of all time, right here.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Spitfire
“Applejack 56”
‘Rainbow Dash’
_________

“…”

>…

“...are you…?”

>Yeah. This is exactly what it looks like, unfortunately.

“No, I mean… what’re you doing? What’re you licking there?”

>A disgusting thong…

“Why? And what’s a tong?”

>Not tong, thong. It’s a piece of clothing that mares wear over their keisters. And why am I washing this with my tongue, you ask? Because a certain uppity blue rainbow pegasus has me firmly under her hoof and enjoys making my life a living hell.

“Wait a minute, back up… keister. That means ‘butt’, don’t it?”

>Um, yeah?

“And a thong… goes on a mares butt.”

>It's not rocket science, kid.

“You mean those thong things have been on Dash’s rump?!”

>Yeah, disgusting, ain’t it? And she’s got me cleaning them with my tongue! Can you believe--

Before she could finish, 56 had snatched up every single undergarment in sight and bolted from the laundry room.

In the process of trying to figure out whether she wanted some cake or another plot-massage courtesy of Spike, Rainbow Dash glanced up as the door to her office was flung open. She blinked at the Changeling standing there with an armful of what looked like her entire collection of thongs. He looked on the verge of joyous tears.

“Th-thank you! Thank you for these wonderfully scented gifts! I--I just… to think these have graced your supple plot… Thank you!”

And he sped off, only to have Spitfire appear in the doorway looking winded from the chase.

‘Um, Spitfire?’

>*pant, pant* Y-yes, Miss Dash?

‘Did AJ56 just run off with my all of my thongs?’

>Yes, Miss Dash.

‘For what reason?’

>I don’t know. Don't wanna know, either.

‘What a weird little guy.’
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ29
'Sombra (Written)'
"Sombra (Spoken)"

>Hey I got the book!

'Superb!'

>Yeah it's quite the story, frought with danger, intrigue, romance~

'What you didn't just check it out?'

>...I was going for a bit of drama, anyway, here it is.

29 drops a large hardcover book down onto the table, scattering dust everywhere.

"ACHOO!"

>*cough* Ugh...it got in my mouth.

'Open it'

"ACHOO!"

'before I'

"ACHOO!"

'alert the whole castle!'

>Right right!

29 opens the book hurriedly, the prospect of sweet royal intercourse renewed in his soul.

>Alright, I think we lucked out here, there's pictures!

'I didn't take you to be as easily amused as my ward, insectoid.'

>It's not like that, jackass, these pictures mean that we could be able to match up how you look with one of the spiritual whatevers in this book.

'Hmm...good eye, my failure of a lothario, we shall make a researcher of you yet.'

>Well thanks I-HEY!

'Let us begin.'

>*sigh* Right...Abomination, no. Ancient, Reanimated? No. Apparition? No...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 NEXT FIGHTERS GET READY, 13 TO THE RIGHT, 19 TO THE LEFT-

>19... 19... That sound familiar. Has 19 fought yet?

>oh. oh no. ohonononononONONONONONO!

*Shining Armor runs off screaming, leaving a confused Applejack 2 at the entrance to the tunnel*

*a few moments later a stagehand ushers Applejack 2 into her tunnel, she walks to the end and waits for the gate to open*

-IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE ANTLERED ANTAGONIZER, THE KUNG-FU GURU, THREE TIME CHAMPION IN THE PIT OF A THOUSAND CORPSES, MOOOOOOOOSE LEEEEEEE-

*Thunderous applause fills the arena as Moose Lee walks out, his face a picture of pure concentration*

-IN THE RED CORNER, SHE'S DOUBLE THE TROUBLE, FACE LIKE A BRICK WALL, TERRIBLE TWOOOOOO -

*Moose Lee walks towards her and bows, his headband fluttering in a non-existant breeze*

*Applejack 2 gasps and bows back*

"Ohboy, are we dancing? I love fancy dancing!"

*Moose Lee charges Applejack 2 with a shoulder check, she sidesteps it and twirls around*

*Moose Lee turns and does a roundhouse kick, she gracefully ducks backwards*

*He deftly backflips and brings his front hooves down on her back*

"-URK"

*The wind is knocked out of Applejack 2 and she slams down into the rocky ground hard enough to crack it, a 'boom' echoes around the stadium from the force of the mighty blow*

>TIME OUT! I CHALLENGE THE OPPOSITION TO A WEAPON ROUND

-INTERESTING TURN OF EVENTS, AT ANY POINT A COACH CAN CHALLENGE THE OTHER COACH AND CHANGE THE MATCH FROM UNARMED COMBAT TO COMBAT WITH A VARIETY OF WEAPONS. THIS INCREASES THE DANGER, CHANCE FOR DEATH *AND* BETTING PAYOUT CONSIDERABLY. IF MOOSE LEE'S TRAINER REFUSES, TERRIBLE TWO WINS BY DEFAULT!-

[I acceptru the challengeru]

[We choose Nunchaku, Sword and Spear]

>We choose Coloring Book, Crayons and Jingle Ball!

*A few moments later the chosen weapons are given to each coach and the fight resumes. Shining Armor checks a stopwatch and nervously looks around the arena*

[Use the Nunchaku, student!]

*Moose Lee catches the thrown nunchuks in his antlers, he whips his head around like a teenager at a rock concert, a whirling vortex forming around his head at the nunchuks swing rapidly*

>I drew you a picture of us and I need you to color it!

*Shining Armor throws down the coloring book and crayons*

"Okie!"

*Applejack 2 begins to draw, oblivious to the moose rapidly charging her. Moose Lee raises his nunchuks high and brings them down on Applejack 2's neck to no effect.*

"~Shining Armor has some blue hair~"
"~let's get crayons and draw that too~"

*Moose Lee hastily throws away his Nunckucks and resumes an ineffective melee barrage*

[Use the spear, student!]

*He catches the tossed spear and drives it down onto Applejack 2's head, it glances off her near-invulnerable carapace and stabs straight through her coloring book. Shining Armor checks the stopwatch again*

"Shiiiiinyyy! He ruined my drawing! Now it can't go on the friiiiiiidge"

*Applejack 2's bottom lip quivers and her eyes well with tears*

>Nono! It's ok, it can still go on the fridge! I promise!

"No it caaa-haaa-haaaan't"


*Applejack 2 cries and is swiftly kicked across the arena by Moose Lee, her chitin sides cracking from the impact*

"OOOOWWWWIEEEE"

>Applejack 2! Look! Jingle Ball!

*Shining Armor throws the jingle ball into the arena, fidgeting as he peeks at the stopwatch once more*

"Ooohh!"

*Applejack 2 forgets about the pain and her injury and dances after the jingling toy*

"~Jingle ball, jingle ball, squeaking when I biiiite it!"
"~Jingle ball, jingle ball, there's no sense to fiiiight it!"

[Target her toys, student! They are the source of her power!]

*Moose Lee throws his spear across the arena, narrowly missing the jingle ball. It strikes the wall and the spear head shatters*

[The sword! Use the sword, student!]

*Moose Lee crosses the arena in a flash and slices the jingle ball clean in half, colored rubber and tiny bells scattering across the arena floor. Applejack 2 snarls and charges forward.*

>WE SURRENDER! STOP APPLEJACK 2!

"B-But Jingle Ball Shiny, Jingle BALL!"

>We'll get you another, they cost like 2 bits!

-THE WINNER, DUE TO SURRENDER, MOOSE LEE-

-COACHES, SHAKE HANDS/HOOVES/CLAWS

[Honorabru combat, good match]

>Thank goodness nopony got hurt

*As he says that he looks down to the arena floor, Applejack 2 is curled up patting the cracks on her side, whimpering softly*

>... except the pony I promised to protect... Where did it go so wrong, how was I SO STUPID?

-------------

*Ten minutes later, Shining Armor and Applejack 2 are wrapped in a blanket on a hay pile in the fighter's area*

>I should never have done that to you, Applejack 2... It was so stupid and selfish of me, I don't know if I can ever forgive myself...

"No... It's my fault Shiny. I failed. I lost. You needed me to win and I didn't win and now all those sick ponies are going to ddd-diiieeeeeeee b-b-b-ecause we wont build t-the hospitaaaaaaaal!"

*Applejack 2 cries into Shining Armor's mane. He holds her for a minute as she weeps*

>Shhhhh, shhhh, it's okay sunshine. Everything's gonna be ok...

"N-no it woooooon't, those little colts and fillies are gonna be sick forever and that big meanie moose hurt me and my side's cracked!"

>I'm going to get you back to Chyrsalis in Canterlot and you'll be ok. You can be safe there and I won't be able to hurt you again...

"NO! I'm not going! I like it in the Crystal Empire! I like living with you and getting waffles and braiding your hair and playing dressup and-and-and"

>I'm a bad pony, Applejack 2. It's for the best.

"You're a good pony, Shiny. A really good pony."

>You don't know what I did... *He begins to cry* I-I bet against you, Applejack 2...

>I heard 19 get called and I knew it was Moose Lee. Did I drop out? Did I try to help you win? No! I ran off to bet on HIM instead! And then I put weapons in that ring to get double the payoff!

>I went in not believing you... I went in thinking you would lose, WANTING you to lose.

>And it nearly killed you. I'm a monster and I can't be around you anymore, I'll just hurt you again.

"S-so the hospital... You can help all those ponies?"

>THAT ISN'T THE POINT! They don't matter, YOU matter! And I almost threw it all away... I could have lost it all, the hospital money, the sick ponies... you...

*Applejack 2 hugs Shining Armor close*

>You're hurting me, Applejack 2, loosen up?

"Nuh-uh!"

*Shining Armor gives up struggling and embraces her. The cracks on her side begin to glow and seem to shrink a tiny amount*

>Thank you for forgiving me, Applejack 2. You're to good to me.
>Let me go, I'll get you some cocoa with marchmalleys

"Nope! I like you even more than marchmalleys!"

*Shining Armor relaxes into her forehooves, a smile gracing his lips for the first time in what feels like forever*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________