Thread 98: Stories 1-15

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>Robert
"Barnabus Blackfeather"

To call the lodgings of the Blackfeather Clan a dump would be an understatement, though considering half the other noble families in the city wanted them dead (the other half merely wanting them removed) this was not unexpected. Tucked away in a corner of a district of the capitol already known as the center of thieves and cutthroats, even these no-accounts gave a wide berth to the squalid former inn that was now full of raucous Blackfeathers.

This was probably why the thirteen or so would-be muggers that had been trailing after the griffon in the immaculate suit broke off the second their quarry made his destination known. Breaking his stride only to nod at the two imposing soldiers at the front door, the Fawntaine rep entered into the building, immediately assailed by shouts, grunts, songs, and the noises of various things striking other things. Violently.

>Lovely. Pardon me...PARDON me...EXCUSE ME.

As one, feathered heads broke off from what they were doing and glared at the composed executive.

>Barnabus Blackfeather, I need to speak with him.

A dozen or so claws pointed up the stairs.

>Thank you.

As the shouting, brawling, and drinking resumed, the executive continued his walk, heading up the stairs and down the hall they lead to towards the open door at the end. Within was the hunched form of Barnabus Blackfeather, scribbling angrily at a piece of parchment. A creak of a floorboard caught the black-feathered vulturelike griffon's attention and his head snapped up, eyes narrowing at the sharp-dressed Robert.

"You have a lot of nerve to show your face here."

>Angry, are we? What, another one of your relatives get 'dishonorably slain' since the last time I saw you?

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, you slime. The bandits."

>Yes? What about them?

"Their leader contacted me, said he had that tart Gwendolyn in his sights, that his boys had that bastard son of hers dead to rights, then your robot cocked it all up!"

>My Avidroid.

"Avidroid, Equidroid, fucking blah with your metal folk. You screwed me!"

>I screwed no one. Honestly I fully intended to slaughter the bandits to the last one, but unfortunately the situation proved untenable.

"...I don't follow."

>The future ruler of all Gryphondom, ladies and gents.

"You-"

>The bandits were never supposed to succeed, they were tools to get myself in good graces with the Af Gryphonians.

"...to infiltrate them?"

>Yes, if they think I'm working in their best interests, then they won't suspect I'm working in yours.

"Well that's all well and good, but I'm getting word that the leaders of two of the biggest voting blocs just aligned themselves with my enemies!"

>Feh, the blocs will find new leaders to suit their own agendas. The Royal Family can't exactly go door-to-door sorting out the grievances of every house out to vote against them.

"...still, I can't see how this benefits me."

>It doesn't yet, but I need your help to see it does.

"I don't follow."

>The Peasant's Vote.

"...what about it? All the fuckin' serfs in the country could vote against him, but it's the Peasant's VOTE for a reason. They only get one representative to cast the one vote."

>But that representative has the same rights and privileges as the lords in attendance. Meaning they have the right to speak at length about why their decision is what others should follow. And if I just so happen to sweeten the pot of offering our company's tech...

"...then they'd flock to yer side in droves! Our soldiers eat up those leadslingers you send us! We'd have a whole country armed!"

>Precisely.

"...so what do I do?"

>Send your best warrior to the Peasant Vote's summit. Usually it's decided by force of arms or some other such shit. Have him secure himself as the apparent champion.

"Then?"

>Then have him throw a fight with me. I'll put forward a little speech to capture their feeble peasant minds and the crown will be as good as yours.

"...I like this plan. I like this plan a lot!"

>I knew you would. Get him over there, fast.

"He's already on the way. BART! BART GET IN HERE!"

Robert took his leave, stepping out of the way as a very large gryphon in studded leather armor rushed past him, a longsword swinging along on a belt around his middle. Robert's face didn't drop its smug smirk until he was well out of range.

At which point he let out a large sigh and slapped his forehead.

>Ohhh....ohhh I'm going to be so glad when he's dead. Fucking. Idiot.

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OOCO
>AJ
"Rarity"
'Celestia'
~~~~

"HRRRRKKKKK!"

'OW!"

"GRRRRRRR!'

>Tarnation, gal! Leave somethin' there! Ah'll take the muscle iffin' ya' can't leave the skin!

"GRAAAAAAAAAAH-"

SNAP!

"SON OF A HOOFCHEWING DANCING MONKEY! WHY THE POPROCKS DOES ALL THIS DUMMY PUFF HAPPEN TO ME! FLIP YOU! FLIP YOU ON THE TABLE UNTIL IT BREAKS ON YOUR HEINE! You both can take your dress orders, and SHOVE THEM IN THE BOX! Working with you is IMPOSSIBLE!"

>...

'...'

"WHAT!?"

>...Didn't ya' just serve that really, uh...

'Robust.'

>Yeah, that 'robust' mare not too long ago? Ah' know mah' rear's so big it's a comedy routine at this point, but we can't be bigger than her.

'I don't think I WEIGH as much as her.'

>Soooo... what's the problem here?

"..."

'...Jealousy? Really?'

"WHY ARE YOU TWO STILL SO MUCH BIGGER THAN MEEEEE!?"

>Ah' don't wanna be!

"It's not fair! I've gorged myself on so many cakes it's not even funny, and I can't even compare to Applejack, let alone YOU!"

'...this is hurting me, please stop.'

"IT'S NOT FAIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiirrrr..."

'...'
>...Huh.

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>Spitfire
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>You know, at some point, I realized finding sanity in you was a fruitless endeavor, and I weep for myself for trying.

"This is totally sane, the fuck are you talking about?"

>No, Chrysalis, this isn't.

"It so is! All you have to do is gather up the hurricane, pour this in it, and-"

>No, creating a flaming tornado to melt the ice so we have more room is not smart. I don't know how to put this to you any simpler, it's not smart. It is not-o-smarto. It will not get rid of the snow.

"...At what point did you think this was about getting rid of the snow, and not "Hey! We have a giant barren wasteland of ice out there, you know what we need? Fire tornados! That would be amazing!"

>...That weeping just became full on bawling.

"You see this shit? This is why you don't get in the big bed."

>Okay, why do you keep wielding that like it's some sort of thing I would want?

"What? The bed's super comfy, and you've got great company."

>Yeah, but none of the best stuff.

"Well yeah, aduh, but just because I'm not still sleeping with Shining Armor doesn't mean it's not just a damn comfy bed."

>Still?

"Pre wedding."

>Reeeeeally wished that was a rumor.

"What? He wasn't even that good in bed."

>Pfft, it must've been you then. He's not a slouch there.

"...and how would you know that?"

>...

"..."

>...Wouldn't youuu like to know.

"...Huh... you're fucking with me, aren't you?"

>Mayyyybe? Maybe not, you never know, we were both starting out at the same time, and he didn't get serious with Cadence till way laaaater? Annnnything could have happened.

"..."

>Would that bother youuuuuuu?

"Huh. So this is what it's like on this side of that. Meh, it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be."

>...You are so damn weird.

"Pfft, so they say... want to go do the fire tornado-"

>I told you, I can't be seen as that same daredevil-

"-where nobody can see?"

>Onboard.

"...Just like that?"

>We talking or firemaking?

"...HAH!"

FWOOOSH!

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 >Applejack
"Fluttershy"

>So this is fun

"Oh, sorry for ummm... well"

>'Shy, it isn't gonna get any better les' y'all keep tryin', folks always tell ya that

"Oh I know, sometimes it justs gets a little out of... hoof and I can't ever really control it"

>Well, it's not like this here tea party was that interestin' to begin with

"..."

>That's more... mah fault really... kinda... y'know.... plain...

"...So, you're not too mad?"

>Aw hell naw 'sug, Ah'm not mad.... this stool I'm sitting on isn't meant to be doing that... is it?

"No, nothing is"

>Huuhhhhhhhh, okaaayyy.... Uhhh, so, how's Chrysalis treating you?

"Normally"

>As in-

"More often than not she's telling me to use my... "sweet hella powers" to turn Canterlot into a massive waterslide.... made out of glue"

>...Oh.... and the less often than not?

"...Helping, here and there, I'm surprised she seems to have an understanding of these powers in the first place"

>She's whacko in the head, so I guess these whacko chaos magic-erjiggers things just come to here easier than rattling a chickep coop

"...Uh huh"

>Yer not whacko

"I think we're past that point now"

>...Yeahhhhh.... we kinda all are

"So, how is your tea?"

>MMmmmmm, ah have been sweatin' bullets from my brow after that teapot flew into the ceiling and stayed there... an' all that sweat has been drippin' into my mug

"That's technically not my fault"

>...Well it hasn't really affected the taste... iffin it's a lil' bit sweet

"And how has your magic been doing?"

>Hold on lemme.....nnn.....come on....

CRISH CRASH-BOING

"..."

>...

"Best not try it here"

>Mhmm

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OOCO
>SA
"Applejack"
~~~~

>Wow, uh, this is kinda weird for you.

"What? Ah' can't have a bit o' fun fer' mahself every now and again!? Huh!? Ah've just gotta be plain old Applejack, just doin' what she's doin'!? Ah' can't be wild, crazy and free sometimes!? Maybe Ah' wanna be daring sometimes, maybe Ah' wanna take risks, go ta' new places, try new things! This is new, this here is rare, and Ah'm gonna do it, and iffin' ya' got a problem with it ya'll can take yer' complaints and get'em crushed beneath mah' ever growin' behind, GOT IT!?"

>...Yeah, think I do, but still the reasoning for this is-

"Screw you! Ah' can do it, watch me!"

CRUNCH!

"...that's awful! Why does anyone eat that!?"

>Because you're supposed to peel kiwi fruit.

"...Oh. It was pretty fuzzy."

>Yeah, that's the problem.

"So the reasonin', accordin' ta' you, wasn't towards explainin' that Ah' was eatin' somethin' not an Apple, but-"

>But why it wasn't peeled, yeah.

"...It's just... everyone keeps thinkin'-"

>I know.

"But Ah' don't-"

>I know.

"...A-Ah' just wanna try it without getting funny looks,..

"There there...."

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 >Fuzzy
"Buzz"
~~~~

>Annnnnd, COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT'S FUZZY AND THE BUZZ!

~Fuzzy and Buzz in the morning, 97.1!~
~X GON GIVE IT TA' YA!~

"Top story in the news! Strange, massive changes in the landscape of the unclaimed badlands."

>Although most claim it was simply an earthquake, conspiracy theorists have their own ideas...

~Dundundundunduduhdun~
~Dooo doo do do DO doooo...~

"Princess Celestia denies all extraterrestrial involvement, but with our recent firebased giant guy floating around, you know how it goes."

>If the government knows? Wellll-

~I KNOW NUH-SHING!~

"Much like Fuzzy when asked 'so which one is the right hole?"

>OHHHHHH!

~Screw it, I'll flip a coin.~

"All signs point to this being a natural disaster, but the fact it happened out where nobody can see on touched territory is causing it to pick up steam."

>Nobody has seen... untouched territory... oh my gosh! Buzz! I think you might be next!

"OHHHHHHHH!"

~They'll never find me in here! MWHAHAHAH!~

>As always, we'll keep you updated with any news.

"And make sure you've always got THE BUZZ!"

>Next up, another hit single from an up and coming artist, Baaa Haaa sheep. Who let the Diamond Dogs out!

"I've heard it, and let me tell you, it will never get annoying!"

>Unlike Buzz's date requests.

"OHHHHHH!"

~PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE-~

"HIT IT!"

>GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

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 >DT
"Applebloom"
~~~

>BLANKFLANK! I'm in need of your assistance, now, so give it to me.

"Ya' know, Ah' kinda wished at some point ya' would stop bein' you just a little bit and like... be more not-you."

>Excuse me? I'm Diamond Tiara, there's nowhere to go but down from there.

"Yeah, this seems bout consistent with how we used ta' talk."

>No matter! As I said, I need your assistance, so give it to me.

"Is it assitin' ya' bein' knocked on yer' flank? Ah'll do that just fine."

>Ha ha! Oh, Applebloom, I've been carrying around Sexy so long, I'm pretty sure I could hold you.

"...Ya' actually have a point, that thing looks fuckin' heavy."

>He is! Is is very heavy-

CLACK!

>But bigger is beautiful! Don't be like that TBDRLIATU!

"Huh, so somethin' did change.... not fer' the better, but at least it's different."

>ENOUGH! I need to know how to bribe your sister!

"Applejack said yer' dad wasn't in the mob! Ah' asked! YA' LIED TA' ME APPLEJACK!"

>What? No, I just need to bribe her so she'll stop being a jerk and let me on the A-team again, TBDRLIATU's stuff is expensive. How am I supposed to pay for new upgrades if I don't have the military budget to work with?

"Get a job?"

>...like... a normal pony job?

"Couldn't hurt-"

>AHAHAHAHHAHA!

"Figures."

>Seriously, though, how can I bribe her?

"Could try bein' a decent pony fer' once and askin' nicely."

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...Erm... got a plan B?

"No."

>Well, shit!

"Ya'll started swearin' a whole lot here recently..."

>Well, fuck you! Sorry I'm too ADULT for a filly like you, but I've got better taste than that! HRMPH! Fine! I'll do it myself!

STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP!

"...Swearin' makes ya' an adult?... well, Ah' guess they stop tellin' ya' they're gonna wash out their mouth when they're all grown up, maybe she's right?... Huh... fuck... huh, Ah' don't feel anymore-OMF!"

'DON'T YA'LL BE SWEARIN'!'

"HMPH!?"

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 >Rarity
"???"
~~~~

>I swear if I find one more piece of flaking in this, I'm insisting Arana be buffed from here on out. Look at this! Tiny little... flakes! So disgusting! Ughhh! How can I even find them all!?

SNAP!

>...Oh... oh ewwww, ewewewewewwwwww!

POP!

"What's the matter, Rarity? I thought you said you wanted to find them all!"

>Ew, ewewewwewewewwwww! Discord stop it!

"But I'm finding them for you!"

>Discord you ghastly thing, they're walking! They're WALKING! TOWARDS ME, NO LESS!

"Well clearly, if they didn't walk towards you, how would you see them? Typical mares!"

>EW EW EW THEY'RE TOUCHING ME! EWWWWWWWW! WHY DO I NEED TO BE TOUCHED BY THEM TO SEE THEM!?

"It's how blind ponies see."

>I'M NOT BLIND!

"Oh? Well, you were wearing THAT dress, you can see how I'd be confused."

>DISCORD!

"Oh, fine."

SNAP!

>...ugghhghghgh....

"Better?"

>GET OUT OF MY BOUTIQUE!

"Oh come now! I need to spend some time with someone, and Flutterbutter is already overcharged as it is! I have to wait for her power to go down again!"

>Stop that!

"Stop what?'

>Stop... flying in that weird pattern! That lopsided twitchy one! It's like you're dragging half of yourself!

"Oh.. I actually can't... long story. LONG story. Just big in general, really."

>WHAT!?

"Please?"

>...
"...'
>...Oh, fine, I'll get the tea set.

"R-really?"

>What, did you think I would say no again?

"..."

>...are those spiders behind your back?

"...helper spiders?"

>...

"Please?"

>...Fine, I'll buy it.

"Wow, so this is what feeling regret towards you and not just Fluttershy feels like... I don't like it."

>...

"...Tea time!"

>...Sad part is, he's still some of my better recent company...

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>Chitania
"???"
~~~~

The room was empty once more.

Her daughter had been off to see her Hive once more, to spend some time with them again, as she so loved to do. For despite their nature, she managed to find love for them in her heart, and found family with those who had accepted her. Chitania, in all her grander might, would never be accepted as such. The titan knew this, made no concessions to it, and cared not a bit for it. She could have gone, if she wished, but instead she was here, in her empty room she had paid for, alone tinkering.

Sweet Note had, of course, offered to stay with her, and help her pass the time. But soon, she grew bored, and Chitania could not stand her occasional tapping of hooves or attempt at conversation any longer, handing her off some money to go spend some time out there without the looming presence of power over her. She had been quite shockingly reluctant to do so. Strange, since most would take any opportunity to run away as soon as presented the chance, but she seemed unsettled to go out on her own...

No matter, she eventually went, and the Titan was to her own devices once more, tinkering, always tinkering. Learning, soaking it all up like a sponge. She was not a slow learner, not by a long shot, and though she lacked talents in magics of any kind, one thing she had found a hunger for was understanding the future.

The wonderful, wonderful future.

Such a creation like what she had before her needed to be understood, it needed to be examined, it needed to be for her, to grow, not just in size but also in all power. This was only the beginning.

"Oh ho hooo, Chitania the Titan, obsessed with growing? And the ponies all called you one note."

Ripples of chills went down her spine as she tore her gaze away from the circuitry before her, and only now could she notice that all around there was some strange shadow twisting into every corner of the room. It almost felt... alive.

No.

It was alive.

A slithering, serpentine form crawled up the wall around her, the base of the shadow stretched out in every direction from her position in the center of the room as if she had cast it. Four long forms, all moving in complete disharmony with each other, all of them wiggling and alive.

For how could a being such as this act in any other way, but disharmony?

>So... at last we meet.

Her teeth clenched in a sensation wholly unfamiliar to her, a strange buzzing in the back of her head commanding her to do something she didn't quite understand.

Run.

"Indeed! Ohhhh, you are a tricky one, aren't you? Always just pop pop popping up, and then poof! Gone in a few minutes before I could even react!"

With every playful jab, tiny flowers burst up from the ground all around her, each one baring fanged teeth on their stalks and buds. In a flash, they burst into flames, turning into cinders before her eyes.

"And then you signed that deal with poor, poor Applejack, and low and behold I could not so much as lay a claw on you!... Well, no more than anyone else, I suppose."

She felt it, even if she didn't see it, a claw much like one from the machine with those inane prizes, hovering just above her head, snapping closed without a single touch.

"But you played nice with dear Fluttershy, so I played nice with you. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?"

The pony-facsimile machine before her suddenly jerked, it's head spinning around in place to look her deathly seriously in the eyes, it's face now warped away from what had been a passive, warm smile, and into something alien and twisted. A face she had only seen in pictures, never in reality.

Not before today.

"Not that you and I are friends of course."

She held her breath as the machine continued to twist, and warp, becoming a machine in the form of that what she had heard of in tales, or seen on windows of glass. But here, in the metal flesh, it inspired in her feelings those never could.

"But you never know! Things could always change. Why, it's in your very name, after all. Maybe there will come a day when I see you doubled over in pain from a hole in your chest I could fix with just a snap, and something besides a giggling bell of a laugh will come from me. Why, I might even just give a murmur of concern!"

She tried to remain as still as possible, tried not to let him see the sweat on her brow beginning to form as flames licked out of his mechanical face. Slowly, doing her very best to use as little movement as possible, she edged her hoof to the side...

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

There was no jovial tone to that one.

"Didn't you think I'd be paying attention? Didn't you think I'd notice your little... 'trick'? Oh, you're smarter than they all gave you credit for, I'll give you that, you're quite the treat even! Oh, how you managed to slip it past all of them, every single one. It's so obvious, in hindsight. Your trick is playing in plain sight, and then being so garishly obvious with some things nobody sees what you have... hidden. It's quite fun, and I would say I admire it a bit. Why, I wouldn't mind spending a day with you or two, just to have a bit of fun. Who knows what you'd cook up!"

Her hoof hovered over a button, the object concealed at her side. He did not move back, not a millimeter.

But he did not move forwards either.

The chill still would not go away.

>What do you want?

"Want? Oh, I don't know, I was thinking a large hayfries, perhaps some cotton candy that tastes like soap and maybe a bit of chocolate rain!"

He snapped his fingers, and all he had said was called to him. A noise of glee escaped his lips mere seconds before he opened his jaw to impossible, deformed lengths, and snapped them over every one.

"Oh, you know how just to make me feel welcome! You're quite nice to your guests. Now, with that out of the way... I have news for you, you might find it interesting."

>I very much doubt that.

He snapped forwards, yet she did not move. Her hoof only pushed down on the button ever so slightly, not enough to fully depress it, but enough for him to stop, just before he would touch her.

"...Those won't protect you forever."

>I beg to differ. From what I've heard, it's quite effective.

"To me? Perhaps... but do try to remember where it came from, and do try to remember that she has no such buffer. Or don't, it'll be much more entertaining that way."

She bristled, even with him unwilling to come any closer to her, she still felt her chest betray her and begin to race.

>Talk.

Snap! And before her, a diagram showing off various headshots of a creature of Lava and fire showed up all around her. Some, strangely enough, in quite suggestive poses.

"This is an old acquaintance of mine. Now! As to how he arrived here, on this planet, not a clue! It seems someone slipped up somewhere in reality. Oh, stallions, there's a reason none of them are in charge in Equestria. But alas, this poses a problem. For you see, in the glorious land of Canterlot-"

He snapped into a salute, tiny jets flying overhead and a massive Canterlot banner waving behind him while eagles call out all around.

"-there is something that, shall we say, would be better if he didn't touch. Do you catch my drift?"

>And this concerns me how?

He laughed, snapping his fingers once more to summon up a glass of milk, which he then proceeded to drink with absolutely nothing else unusual happening.

"Why, didn't you have a set goal in mind? Hm? Well... he's fairly close to a god, in case you were wondering."

>So are you, last I checked.

"Ahhhhh, but even I could not beat him in a direct fight, if I wanted to. Not to say I'm not stronger than him, of course."

He snapped in the air, and a hellish dimension of sight and sound opened up behind him, screeching massive twisted abominations roaring in anger in the sight beyond.

And there was also a puppet, for there is always a puppet.

"He's just of, shall we say, a certain 'kind' that if I were to directly battle, well, I'd probably make things a lot worse, and he's still likely have some way to win. He's a clever sort... but you are clever as well, aren't you?"

He snapped, and the hellish sight that tingled her very nerves to her hooves went away, and in it's place was nothing. Endless, vacant nothing.

"You wanted to face the gods and overthrow them, did you not? Well... consider this a warmup round."

>...I'm not ready yet.

It pained her so to say that, felt like bile in her mouth were she being honest, but she couldn't help it. It was the truth, and if there was one thing she was not, it was dishonest about her chances in battle.

Usually because there was very little she thought had any chance of even lasting a moment against her, but nevermind.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect to hear that from you of all lings! What's the matter, a touch chicken?"

Poof! And before her eyes, a tiny unholy abomination mixture of her and a chicken appeared on the table, cowering away in fright.

>No, just not stupid.

"...Blast."

With another snap, it exploded into confetti... and gore.

"Well, it works in my movies... very well. All you need to know is, that there is a very good reason why you would mixed and shifted around as you were, but never stopped."

Her eyebrow rose, curiosity for once overriding the tension in her limbs.

>That... was not you?

"Me? Don't be silly! If it was me... you'd be in a block of cement."

She dared not question that.

"They just recognize... potential, as it were."

>...This is a trick to get me to kill myself against something that has no interest in fighting, isn't it?

"Oh, he seems benign now, but he's capable of... quite a lot, to put it mildly."

Fire, so much fire, sprang up all around her, burning infernos of chaos and woe mingling with the sickening smoke that choked her the more she breathed.

"And if he gets to a certain thing I have locked away, nice and snug... it will get worse. But not if big, strong, brave you manages to fight him off, no?"

>...So this is a trap.

His eyelashes fluttered like butterflies, and in fact had become exactly that, while his claws curled under his cheek in his very best 'who me?' expression worthy of Applebloom on a good day.

>It is. You're doing this so I'll die.

"Mayyybe, maybe not. That is up to you to decide, I can't force you. After all..."

He twisted, becoming a massive, chaotic monster, colors bright and eye straining mingling in with a visage of feral rage and snarling drool in the color of rainbows.

"I can't touch you... for now."

She couldn't keep it down, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she assured herself he was right, she could not keep down the shudder.

"You want to play in the big leagues, then put on your big girl panties and try not to soil them when the day of reckoning comes calling. If they are gods, they're not going to be polite and wait until you're good and ready after all. If he arrives at Canterlot and makes his way to the castle, put up or shut up. I'm sick of hearing of all the tales of heroes that swore they would take down them someday, and then they begged for their mothers the moment something scary happened. If he stays away, fine, don't engage him, I certainly wouldn't. But if he arrives, then you had best be ready for a fight, and you had better be ready to win. Because if not, shut up, go play dress up with your little girl, and leave the big games to the professionals."

With a comical POOF! He was back to his normal, or as least as close to normal as could be for him, self.

"Bysies! Have fun with your toys! It's totally not a trap to ensure your demise in vengeance for making a fool of me! Has nothing to do with my glee of watching you be consumed by a chaos being and laughing at all of the insanity it shall cause in your life! Byyyyyeeeee! Mwah!"

He was gone in the next second. She didn't know what made this more 'gone' than before, but her spine loosened, her breathing went down to normal, and all seemed well.

Still, just in caution, she brought up what she had hidden before. A ring, one that had once upon a very short time ago held bombs capable of leveling a small house on them. Now...

Now it held something else, something far more dangerous.

No sounds, not a noise, nothing. He was gone. Her machine was back to exactly as it was when he had arrived, nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Without a word, she stretched her limbs, she picked it up, and she got back to work.

And elsewhere, far beyond her possible sight, the twisted amalgamation of beings smiled, and sipped his tea.

"Well, that should certainly be fun."

He was rarely seen anymore, he realized.

But that certainly didn't mean he had forgotten how to enjoy himself.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Discord
"???"
~~~

>WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS!? WE'RE NOT EVEN AT THE 100 POST MARK YET! WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE 90's! 90'S KIDS ARE LAUGHING AT ME FOR BEING TOO BEHIND THE TIMES! I've been duped!

"How?"

>What?

"How? You like... said you wanted two canon stories, and you got them. They're not even OOCO, and one of them is seven posts. That's pretty damn big."

>Well, yeah, but...

"..."

>...I've got nothing.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>18
"SA"
~~~~

SLAM!

>I want to go on a date tonight!

"...M'kay."

>...Wait, that's it?

"Yep. Time out tonight sounds nice."

>Oh... you sure you don't need a big speech to convince you to stop working for a little bit?

"Nuh uh. I'll tell Cadence to get someone to watch Two, probably Chrysalis or Twili, and we can go have some fun."

>....HUH...

"Is this surprising to you?"

>I... I don't know why....

"..."

>...Huh...

"..."

>...huh....

"..."

>...See you tonight!

SLAM!

"...goodbye, changeling who looks exactly like my wife."

>OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!

FWOOSH!

"There it is."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"???"
~~~

>Friggen... stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp,-

*SQUEAK!*

>...son of a-

"GAH!"

>GAH! SHIT!

"...I'm honestly just as surprised as you are."

>DANG IT DISCORD!

"Should I wager it's because of you?"

>What're ya' even talkin' about anymore!?

"Oh, nothing much. Nothing you'd understand anyway... So! Whatever are you up to?"

>Just doin' paperwork, like Ah' always do.

*SNAP!*

"And noooowwwww?"

>...Dang it.

"Looks to me like there's no paperwork about! So, perhaps we could instead go off and have a bit of fun?"

>Just cause they're gone don't mean they're done.

"Ah, yes, but you don't know if they're done or not. That is the key issue here. So long as you don't know, what's the harm?"

>Ah' still know they ain't done, Ah' just don't see them. Ah' still remember they were here before.

"..."

>Don't.

"Wasn't doing anything!"

>Ya'll were gonna poke me in the head.

"No I wasn't!"

>...

"Oh please, like you need much of it anyway."

>...Discord?

"Yeah?"

>Ya'll are still male, right?

"Why, what a silly question! Technically I'm male of course, but unlike changelings I can literally become anything I want, because compared to me their game is weak. Why?"

*POW*!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

>Huh... that did work.

"THERE IS NO SNAPPING IN THE WORLD THAT WILL STOP THIS PAIN!"

>What can Ah' say, ya' got too close... and mah' wings are sensitive.

"EEEEEEEEE!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Sweet Note"
~~~~

It was weird to see her all alone for once.

Watching the mare across the street, she would swear that she looked ten times brighter, even if only because there was no longer a monstrously huge shadow looming over her. Still, even without that overcast, she paradoxically seemed less lively, like a reverse version of a plant.

Even still, the princess had a job to do.

>Never gonna get another chance like this...

She made her way through the streets, following her closely as she could without drawing attention to her. Not easy, but doable. She's used to going unnoticed.

When she finally, finally, had her near a quiet area, she made her move.

>Excuse me.

She didn't jump, she didn't start. Somehow, the mare had been keenly aware of the fact she was being followed the whole time. Even so, there was a keen flickering of her eyes. She was looking for something. Or rather, searching for someone.

"Whatever ya' want, I don't know it, didn't do it, got nothin' ta' do with it, and I ain't talking!"

It was hard not to feel something at that. She still remembered when the mare had looked on at her as something... special, untouchable, something amazing to be beheld. Before, she had been thrilled beyond measure she had merely spoken to her. Yet now, she looked at her much like she would any old guard, nothing special at all. While Applejack honestly preferred it that way, the fact she was looking to someone who had once thought the world of her but been brought down so harshly, it stung. She didn't want herself to be thought of as a goddess, but letting someone down so they stop will never be easy.

>It ain't about that.

"Then you ain't got nothing! I've kept my nose clean, and I got myself a real good thing goin', so if you want to try to make me move away-"

>No! No... fer land's sakes, no, why do ya' think that?

She knew before the answer came, and it still landed like it hit her right between the eyes.

"Because I know better now."

>...Fine, fair enough. But that ain't the reason.

"Sure it ain’t.”

>It ain’t! Look…

A deep breath flowed in through her nostrils, just enough cool air to calm her down and bring her back fro the throbbing behind her eye.

>Ah’ just need ta’ know if Chitania is doin’ anything… weird.

“I don’t know nothin’, didn’t see nothin’ and ain’t talking about nothing.”

That one a complete failure, it seemed being more pleading would have to suffice.

>Look, Ah’ know how ya’ are, but this here’s serious! She’s doin’… somethin’, and iffin’ she does it, a whole lotta ponies are gonna get hurt! Come on, ya’ don’t want anyone hurt, do ya’?

But there was nothing, not a hint of hesitation. Her mouth just clammed up, and she took on a rigid, stern stance.

>Come on, ya’ really gonna make a whole scene about this?

Her phrasing, for whatever reason, seemed to do the trick. She certainly looked offset, and seemed at the very least unnerved, if not outright frightened. Once more, her eyes darted around, looking for something…

But even when she didn’t find it, she found something else.

“W-well… then shoot! Go on! I got places to be, hurry up!"

That, of everything she said, hit home the hardest. There was being understandably let down and angry, and then there was just outright disrespect and dismissal.

There was no questioning which one that was.

>Okay, that's too far! Ah' ain't been nothin' but fair ta' ya' since ya' got here, and Ah've been makin' sure she ain't been hurtin' ya' or nothin-

"It isn't HER I'm worried about hun!”

She realized that snorting in derision was childish. She did not care.

>Oh no, yeah, clearly Ah’m the dangerous one, just cause Ah’ tried ta’ get a dang monster that done wrecked mah’ whole freakin’ city ta’ move down a couple doors, all on me! Bad Applejack, ya’ll know better!

“No, you know what? You’re worse, because at least she doesn’t pretend to be so much nicer like you do! At least she just has herself and her stuff, she doesn’t send a dang army at whatever doesn’t work for her like you do! She don’t just think she’s nice!”

>Ah’ am nice!

“No ya’ll ain’t! You’re just like them! You’re the ones with all the riches and the powers and ya’ big old shiny untouchable guards! They're just like you, making sure they and you get to act however they want, and push whoever you want wherever you want. Until someone bigger comes along, anyway! Then you got nothin', cause it's all a buncha' shiny and just fancy titles and that's it! When it gets right down to it, ya’ ain’t got nothin’ and that just chaps your hind end”

So caught up in their frenzy, both mares hadn't even noticed how close they had become.

>That’s a load a hooey yer’ swallowin’ ta’ make yer’self feel better fer’ actin’ a dang fool, and we both know it!

“Pleaaaase, only one thing your guards want me to swallow, and I didn’t take none of it!”

>Now ya'll listen here, Ah' don't let none o' mah' guards pull anythin' like that!

"Here, maybe! Course not here! This is the great big shiny happy place that everyone rich can come to ta’ escape someone like me! You can’t let ‘em pull it here, because then they might think somethin’s wrong, so you just push it over there! But ohhh, it's just so hard when they're over there, you gotta make sure they shop keepers and the rich ponies up here are okay first, you ain't got time to be lookin' at the bad parts! That's too much work!"

>Too much work!? Missy, ya’ll don’t know the meanin’ o’ too much work! Ah’ve been bustin’ mah’ hump non stop since Ah’ got this dang job! Ah' got me a horn and wings and then ya' know what it did ta' me!?"

"Yeah! I do! It made you just like them!”

For the first time, Applejack stopped her advance.

“You… you were supposed to be like me! Not them! Me! You were supposed to know what it’s like to be on your hooves for hours and hours and hours, trying to scrape by because you just don’t know if enough ponies are going to be interested in what you’re selling to make enough for you to rest easy. You gotta know what it’s like to not be smart enough ta’ just do whatever you want, and there ain’t no books around to tell you! This… you were supposed to be different! Her, her I get! She’s big and tall and white and she’s got more power in her little hoofie then I do in my whole body, but you!... You were like me! I can’t fly! I can’t shoot lasers outta my head! I can’t do any of that, and I lived at the docks! What kinda crops was I gonna grow at the docks!? All I had was… stamina.”

Like a bell in her head, it just wouldn’t stop ringing.

“…you were supposed to get it, that sometimes it ain’t just rich ponies who see a buncha no good nothin’s, it’s… its just sometimes, we didn’t get the best cards, and we’re just playin’ with what we’ve got and it don't make you bad, it just means that... maybe you weren't in the best place, but… you didn’t. You just turned into one of them. Ignorin' us unless it's convenient. Lookin’ out for the ponies who matter, or your family, not us. Your friends are princesses, or captains, or whatever, and anyone you want well off just gets one little ring and ding! Right where you want them! You’re just like any other high brow too good for this world of those ponies that think money means more than us!”

She didn’t know which emotion made the other mare finally look away, unable to stare ahead at the princess anymore.

“…I used to wonder what it would be like if I was a princess. Used to draw in my books… said… said “I’m gonna go fix all the places like here, and make’em so nobody’s gotta be like this no more! It’s all gonna be clean, and everyone’s gonna get a shot, no matter where they came from! Nobody’s gonna be poor anymore!”… now? Now I just wonder what kinda castle I would’a bought… probably would’a been a green one, I like green. If you special super ponies with your world savin’ necklaces are still gonna end up like everyone else… ain’t no hope I wouldn’t.”

Numbness trailed over her whole body, keeping her locked in place, unable to move, unable to breath really. She just let every single word roll over her, let it all hammer home, and did her very best not to snap out when at last it all ended.

>…Ah’m not like that. Ah’ don’t… Ah’ wanna help everybody, this whole dang reason Ah’ even got these stupid things is ta’… look, Ah’m not like that, okay!? It’s just, this really is hard! Ah’m tryin’! Ah’m tryin, okay!? Ah’m not abandonin’ nobody! Ah’m not just lookin’ out fer’ the rich! Ah’m lookin’ out fer’ everybody!

She scoffed, mist as cold as her own derision rolling out from between her teeth as she did so.

>Look… Ah’ get it, ya’ came from a bad place, it probably wasn’t no fun down there, and it needs fixin’, just tell me where, and Ah’ll get ta’ work on it.

“Why does that matter!?”

She would swear she saw fire come from between her lips with that one.

>What’dya mean, why does it matter!? Ya’ just said it was all messed up!

“Yeah, it is! It’s messed up! There’s no good jobs and the guards are assholes and there ain’t no way ta’ get out and it’s dirty and filthy and full of broken homes and none of the good shops go down there so you don’t get the good food and the school there’s a freakin’ joke that nobody even goes to!”

>So why won’t ya’ tell me which place that is!?

“BECAUSE IT’S LOT OF PLACES, YOU IDIOT! NOT JUST WHERE I CAME FROM!”

The princess’s spine was frozen, locked up, bent backwards at such a painful angle, yet unable to move forwards another inch to alleviate it, lest she be brought face to face with the mare so angry in front of her.

“…Slippy came from three towns over, she did it cause her old big daddy got got in a alleyway one day and she got run outta town, only place she could go to was the docks. Bouncah was from I don’t even know where, but it was so far away she said she’d die of old age tryin’ ta’ walk there. I heard o’ lotsa girls that ended up in mah’ place cause theirs was even worse… ya’ know how scared I was when I heard some place was worse then mine? It’s not just… me, or my house, or my docks. I didn’t just make pictures of savin’ mah’ place, because I ain't even got the worst of it.”

She didn’t have a rebuttal to that, didn’t have an answer to the unspoken question. For the mare, or herself.

>…Ah’m tryin’ really hard here.

“Are you?”

>Yes!

At last, that seemed to get the mare to soften up, to turn those sparkling eyes away from her, and at last give her back some space.

“…Maybe it’s just too hard for someone ta’ fix. “

She didn’t believe that, she couldn’t believe that, and there wasn’t a force on earth that could make her think that. That, Applejack did not have a problem with.

What she did have a problem with was making the mare in front of her believe it.

At first, she had nothing.

>Or maybe wings and a dang horn don’t change the fact that yer’ just one pony…

But it did not stay that way.

>Sweet Note… Ah’ wanna help everybody. Just… everyone. Ah’ do know what it’s like, but Ah’ also know that Ah’ can’t just be… that. Ah’ can’t be a supermare that just flies around and fixes everyone’s problems. Ah’ can’t be that drawin’, Sweet Note. Ah’ can’t fix everythin’, Ah’ve just gotta... help. Yer’ right, Ah’m not a goddess, and Ah’ ain’t a super pony. Ah’m just… tryin’ as best Ah’ can.

Not a word said, not even so much as a look before the white mare turned around, and started walking.

>Sweet Note…

“…C-Coltsburg.”

Ears of orange flickered, barely able to hear the quiet whisper.

“It’s Coltsburg, west side. Down by the little watering hole that’s empty and the docks where all the sailors make port, but not too close… don’t’ wanna see us when their bosses check the stock after all. You think you can fix it? Go ahead. I don't think so. Some things you just can't fix. Sometimes... ya' just gotta stick with who's gonna watch your back when things get mad and make life good. It ain't pretty, but it works. I'll stick with it, if it's all the same to you.”

>…Ya’ can’t believe in her, ya’ know. She ain’t got no love for nobody but herself, and maybe her kid. That’s it. She’s gonna drop ya’, first chance she gets. Don’t put all yer’ chips in a monster, Sweet Note.

Slowly, her long neck craned around, and burning, red rimmed eyes glared down at her.

“And who am I supposed to believe in instead? You?... Why would I do that?”

She waited, just a second or two, for time to pass.

When she heard no answer, she turned back, and was on her way.

Only after she was gone, only after she was long, long gone, did a voice call out after her, uncaring to the world that none could hear it.

>Because Ah’m gonna prove it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"41"
'Changelings'
~~~

>Well, maggots! Welcome to your very first session of teleport camp! You know what? I personally find it very fitting to call it that, because either you're going to do as I say and succeed, or you're going to be punched so hard you vanish, feel like you're on fire for a second and when you're done blinking you're miles away! AM I CLEAR!?

"'MA'AM YES MA'AM!'"

>Good! First rule of teleport camp, do not fucking talk about teleport camp! If you think this is some witty callback to a book, bad news! It's not! It's a callback to the fact everything you learn is a changeling secret, and thus if you talk about it, I will murder you. That's also not a witty callback, I will literally murder you. You will be dead. Clear!?

"'MA'AM YES MA'AM!"'

>Good! First step of training, we're going to work on your sense of focus! Who wants to go first!

"ME! ME ME ME! Won't let you down, captain!"

>Well, looks like we've got some spunk over here!

"YES MA'AM! I'll do whatever you ask-"

BLAM!

'Ooooo~'

'Gonna be feeling that tomorrow.'

>You didn't look very focused, soldier!

"S-sorry ma'am-"

PUNCH!

'Eep.'

'Oh sweet hivemind, that's brutal.'

'I may or may not be aroused...'

>STILL NOT FOCUSED!

"..."

PUNCH!

"HGN!"

>...Now that looks focused! Good job!

"Mmmhmmm!"

>Didn't even say thanks for the compliment... smart! I would've punched you!

'So-'

BLAM!

'MUH TEEFH!'

>WHERE IS YOUR FOCUS, SOLDIER!?... Forty One, get back in line, good job.

"...w-won't let you down..."

>Hm?

"..."

>Smart.

"...I won't..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>DT
"Discord"
'Sweetiebelle.'
~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3MZEDNBiUA
>I'm Diamond Tiara. I'm a cat and I can talk. I used to be a kid. A bad kid, but then I messed with the wrong guy...

Flashback with Discord and a burning background
"Diamond Tiara, you've failed as a kid."

Cut to DT checking her paws in shock
>...and turned me into a cat. Can you believe this? That freak turned me into a cat! To be a kid again, I have to do 100 nice things as a cat and the only person who can hear me talk is the last pony I picked on.

Cut to Sweetiebelle's house
>You?!

'Ahhh!'

>Now I'm living with Sweetiebelle and her family. They love me, but they treat me like a cat.

Once upon a time I was a kiiiiiid~
But now I'm paying for all the things that I diiiid~
But I'm not the same as you.
I'm the one who needs the booze
I was running free, but you got
You got me on a leash and I want out.

"Better get started on those nice things."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________