Speedrunning Degeneracy Stereotypes

Speedrunning Degeneracy Stereotypes, categorized by community

Super Mario 64 - That kid in the back of your high school class who won't stop sniffing his farts and googling hentai in class on his smartphone. Has definitely tried to rub one out in class before.

Ocarina of Time - The nerd who everyone actually kinda likes, but you're pretty sure he peeks through holes in the walls into the girls' locker room.

Super Mario Sunshine - That one kid in class who constantly bitches about things no one else is bitching, or frankly really cares. Will always try to help you with a problem you don't have. Harvard-bound but has written countless posts on social media about how terrible affirmative action is.

Super Metroid - Has a fake ID and has been going to casinos to play blackjack and hold 'em since they were 15. Amazing with numbers, but is also the most likely person in the school to be arrested some day for running a rigged online poker site.

Super Mario Odyssey - Just hit puberty and jerks off as often as possible. This honestly wouldn't be that much of a problem if he would learn to stop telling everyone about it all the time.

Banjo-Kazooie - The most likely group of people to have a 5-way between a girl and 4 straight guys. They think no one knows, but everyone knows.

Super Meat Boy - The school bully. Belittles people as often as possible until, one day, photo evidence gets released that they have a micropenis. From that point on, you never hear from them again.

Super Mario Bros 1 - The star kicker of the football team. Known for their precision on the field and adored by many. They constantly talk about football stats and wind conditions. In fact, that's all they ever talk about. Over and over. Will gladly stay afterschool for 3 hours practicing kicks from the same yardage every day. For consistency.

Megaman (series) - Born into the richest family in the entire school district. The principal will gladly fudge the numbers and give this student straight A's just to keep him from frothing at the mouth. Gets food delivered via Uber Eats every day but never shares his fries. Shoplifts for fun.

Portal - Can't get out of bed and go to class in the morning without popping at least one hit of amphetamines.

Pokemon (series) - I shit you not, actually won the award for "most punchable dork" in grade school. Throws a hissy fit in class if they have to take a test without their lucky mechanical pencil.

Final Fantasy (series) - The top student in the class. Everyone wonders how they get all their projects done so quickly. Their secret is, every weekend, they pop an adderall and a tab of acid and lock themselves in their room for 20 hours or until everything is finished, whichever comes first.

Super Mario Bros 3 - Firmly and unironically believes the idea that, no matter how good you get at something, there's always gonna be some random foreign kid who's better than you.

Luigi's Mansion - Sucks you in with their charm and good looks until you realize they lack any real depth. Is also the person who preaches chastity but has anal sex because "it doesn't really count."

Super Mario World - Dreams of becoming a pilot so they can fly over all the most beautiful places on earth. They don't want to stop at these beautiful places, however. In their eyes, that defeats the purpose.

Ratchet and Clank - Low key the most woke person in the school but you wouldn't know it because they spend all their time huffing glue and getting into literal dick measuring contests. Obsessed with winning arguments, this person once publicly threatened to kill himself just to throw off his debate opponent. Has never met and will never meet his dad.

Dark Souls - Constantly tries to one-up you about everything. You got a B+? They got an A-. You lost your virginity when you were 17? They had a threesome when they were 15 with two teachers. You tried weed for the first time? They've already been arrested for possession of cocaine.

Punch-Out - The school principal who won't stop talking about the "glory days" of when they were the football star of the school. Surprisingly, many people view their "student of the week" award as their greatest accomplishment.

Battle for Bikini Bottom - Heavy 4chan user. Trolls their facebook friends constantly and bashes people who share clickhole articles as normies. Hasn't held a conversation in months that didn't reference at least one quote from an early 00's cartoon.

Kirby (series) - Food porn fanatics. Have some weird ass fetishes I'm legally not allowed to talk about. Generally don't understand why people take things so seriously. Who needs drama and stepping on other people's desires when you have an entire dropbox full of hentai?

Goldeneye - Keeps detailed notes of each encounter they have with a woman. Has a general anger toward the rest of the school but lacks the self-awareness to realize they're the problem. Brags about how high their IQ is but has the social eloquence of a paper bag.

A Hat in Time - Hardcore weeb. Uses anime-speak in casual conversation and can't leave the house unless their outfit is "super kawaii." Or they're 12.

Spyro The Dragon/Crash Bandicoot (Referred to as "Sprash") - The emo kid in class. Scoffs at people with aspirations or people who generally give a shit about things. Has their alarm set to Neutral Milk Hotel. People genuinely like this person but they're too jaded to really care.

Jak and Daxter - The angsty little brother of the Ratchet and Clank community. Goes to skate parks every day and talks about getting a Prince Albert. Laughs at his own jokes all the time. Rumor has it he shoved car keys up his ass one time and people keep asking him if he'll do it again.

Refunct - Lasts approximately 45 seconds in bed but always talks about how awesome it was.

Doom - People haven't quite looked at this person the same ever since they punched a hole in a wall after losing a game of dodgeball. Listens exclusively to thrash and death metal, and will actually screech at anyone who calls Metallica anything other than contrived and derivative.

Kingdom Hearts - Yugioh, Death Grips, and Self-Deprecation.

Sonic (series) - Peaked in elementary school and refuses to admit it. Yells during school assemblies to get attention.

Strider - The new exchange student from Thailand that everyone thinks is fascinating due to novelty. The student body won't realize this student is actually as interesting as a wet noodle for a few more months, though.

Half-Life - Honestly? Pretty fucking chill.