SexyCyborg is too skinny
- Hi! You’re here because you said something about my weight.
- *You look anorexic.*
- Anorexia is a serious disorder but not one that can be diagnosed over the Internet. It should not be used as short hand for 'I like bigger girls' because it trivializes a very real problem and leads women who are genuinely suffering from this, or similar eating disorders to think it’s not a matter of health but of personal taste.
- If you have a friend who is suffering from an eating disorder there are a number of good websites that can offer advice on getting them help and a professional diagnosis. It’s really not something that is appropriate to address over the Internet because poor self-esteem and depression can play a significant role and there is no way of knowing what kind of effect public shaming might have.
- *I think you are too skinny.*
- Yes. I’m medically underweight and have been my whole life. That means I’m at the low end of the BMI scale. This is not an uncommon size in China but Westerners do find it a bit shocking. Sometimes Chinese also feel shocked by common Western BMIs. Some of us also make bad assumptions or rude and unfair judgements based on simple appearance. Body shaming is never ok.
- *You look unhealthy.*
- Low BMI correlates to a number of health problem. If you look at the available data this is not so much because low BMI on it’s own is unhealthy, the mortality associated with low BMI is due to it's being a very common symptom of a number of serous health problems. Problems which according to my doctor I don’t have. I am careful to get two full checkups every year just to be on the safe side though.
- *You should eat more.*
- I eat a lot. Far more than many of my larger friends. I have been this slim my whole life and my mother and grandmother are the same size. At one point I did work hard to put on some weight. I felt very poorly the whole time and unfortunately foods calorically dense enough for weight gain are not very good for you. Even with relatively clean eating my doctor was unhappy with my cholesterol and blood sugar after a few months of this (and only 4kg gained) so told me to return to my normal eating habits. Now I just accept my size and don’t let it bother me so long as my health is good.
- *Do you have any weight loss tips?*
- Certainly not. I do not diet or exercise. If I do a lot of walking in a week it is easy for me to drop a kilo if I am not careful. It is an unfortunate genetic fluke. I cannot advise strongly enough against anyone trying to reach my weight if it is not their natural one.
- I often advocate for girls in tech, some find my rather flamboyant appearance exciting. Should anything unfortunate happen like a young lady find my natural weight appealing please contact me right away and I will of course explain to her why it would be a terrible idea to deliberately pursue this.
- *On women and size-shaming*
- I feel very strongly that we all should aspire to be healthy as defined by current medical guidelines and the advice of professionals, and take pleasure in the size we are when healthy. We should show solidarity with our sisters of all sizes, support their pursuit of health and not permit others to bully or shame them no matter what our differences in sizes and shape. I hope you feel the same way.
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