Solitaire

Solitaire

How to play solitaire:

Step 1: Shuffle your deck. Make sure to do it well and multiple times.

Step 2: Place seven cards on the table with the first card facing up. How lucky, you got an ace of clubs.

Step 3: Place six cards over the down-facing cards with the first of them facing up.

Step 4: Continue pattern until unable to be continued. Your cards at the start are ace of clubs, eight of hearts, three of diamonds, ace of diamonds, seven of spades, jack of clubs, and king of hearts.

Step 5: Bring the aces up to the top of the table and put the king of hearts in the new space left by the ace of clubs. Flip over the two revealed cards. Three of hearts. Three of spades.

Step 6: Think about your crush, but shake it off by considering the next move in the game. Wonder what she’s doing for the summer.

Step 7: Pull three cards from the top of your deck. First card is a two spades. Place over three of diamonds. Second card is two of hearts. Place over three of spades. Four of diamonds. Place in the waste pile.

Step 8: Continue like this, following a similar pattern for three to four minutes.

Step 9: Listen to the person who’s offering to play a board game with you. Politely decline. Ask yourself why you did that.

Step 10: Flip the waste pile over. Time to use the remaining cards.

Step 11: Play following the same pattern for two more minutes until you flip the waste pile over.

Step 12: Ask the person who is watching you over your shoulder to leave you alone. He complies.

Step 13: Continue to play for one more minute. Flip waste pile over and try to continue playing, but realize no more moves can be made. Sorry, looks like you lost this round.

Step 14: Pick up cards; shuffle them twice.

Step 15: Deal out another game of solitaire.

Step 16: Even out the cards.

Step 17: Place the nine of clubs over the ten of hearts, then place this set over the jack of clubs.

Step 18: Wonder why you have to do this alone. Sigh.

Step 19: Put the cards back into the deck form. You’re done playing solitaire. Time to play another game with some friends.

Step 20: …

Step 21: Deal out another game of solitaire. First card is king of spades. Lucky.