A Couple of Idiots, part 1 (Male)

The ceiling in Trace’s guest bedroom had a very intricate motif.
Carved of wood and with a pompous yet standard pattern at first glance, it could upon closer inspection be seen to have a swath of tiny illustrations that almost resembled recognizable shapes, yet slightly too outlandish for anyone to make out. It didn’t help that the carvings were so diminutive and light, it had taken him a good ten minutes of glaring to affirm there was even anything there, and not his eyes playing tricks on him. He had to wonder why anyone would bother wasting such skills on crafting something that very few would ever notice.
Keith pondered all this as he laid on his back, listening to Natani’s light breath just barely audible beside him in the huge bed. It was slow and gentle, without the grating yet comforting snore that usually followed it. The wolf was turned away from him, and he could just make out the outline of his shoulder as it rose and sank with his breath.
He could tell he was awake; He had, after all, spent much more time than he would’ve liked watching over his unconscious body, listening with limp ears for a change in his breath, for any slightest chance he would wake up so he could look into his eyes again and tell him..
He took a short breath and prepared himself; Pretending to sleep was awkward enough, but a lot worse when they were two.
“Can’t sleep either?” He mumbled, a little lower than intended. His voice could just barely be heard in the pompously oversized room but carried well enough through the silence.
“Nope,” Came from the other side of the bed, clear and un-slurred by sleep. He’d been right. “How could you tell?”
“You snore when you sleep. Pretty loud.”
“Ah, right. Forgot I do that. Zen used to pick on me for it, even though I’m pretty sure he did it even louder. Wasn’t helpful on assassination missions.”
Keith chuckled. That wasn’t something he did often. “You two were terrible assassins, you know that, right?”
“You didn’t seem to think so when you had an arrow in you.”
“No... Changed my mind pretty fast though, after you failed to kill me, folding after getting a single surface wound.”
“I didn’t... That was...” Natani groped for words. “...You’d just shoved your sword all the way through Zen’s chest! Some of that carried over to me. Wasn’t exactly pleasant.”
He sighed. “Yeah... Probably wouldn’t have done that if I’d known...”
“Oh, stop it you.” Natani cut him off. “You did that in self-defence. I shot first. Besides, I’m used to pain; Can’t say it’s the first time Zen or I have been impaled, and that time it wasn’t even me. We were all fine in the end, so no harm done, right?”
An image from a few months ago flashed through Keith’s head. It was of Natani bending forward, trying to staunch the flow of red that seeped from his stomach.
He winced a little.
“Yeah... No harm done.”
A few awkward moments passed before the wolf turned over to him, and he got to stare into his bright, heterochromatic eyes. Though he tried to stay unfazed, his breath got a little heavier.
“Soo...” Keith mumbled. “What keeps you up? You’re usually a heavy sleeper. Was expecting to wake up to someone chewing on my ear again.”
Natani scratched his head, and then the satin sheets. “I just... really don’t know how to feel about this house. Sure, it’s comfy enough... And this bed is softer than anything I’ve ever slept on... But I just can’t get my mind off who it belongs to. Trace was always a horrible enemy of my people, and I spent most of my childhood hating the Templar with a passion.” He trailed his hand along the edge of the bedsheet, “Of course, I learned later he’s not as bad as I thought... Not anymore, anyways. But I could never shake the feeling that something just ain’t right with this place.”
He held his hand out, and Keith saw it glow faintly in the dark. “Over the years I’ve learned to sense magic whenever it’s present. Been useful to gauge targets, and how difficult they would be to kill. And this house is brimming with it. Almost makes it a little hard to breathe, with how much magic is in the air. I’m guessing Trace got all kinds of fancy enchantments on it, from defensive wards to that weird ocean room. I can’t even comprehend how half this stuff works, much less understand it. And knowing how much he used to hate wolves, I... gotta say I’m feeling a little exposed just walking the halls, not knowing if I’ll suddenly trip over some defence mechanism against people like me and get turned into a chicken or something.”
He puffed. “Not that I’m afraid of Trace or anything... But I’m pretty sure I overheard them say something about this place being enchanted by a dragon. And I don’t trust any oversized lizard any farther than I could throw it.”
He stared into the ceiling again with a slight smirk. “So that’s what’s keeping me up. What about you?”
Keith swallowed, and looked back up at the faint patterns. He listened to Natani’s breath, the warmth from his body radiating towards him under the covers, despite being a foot or two away.
He shut his eyes, and for a moment he was back on the boat, halfway unconscious, listening to his snoring, trying his absolute hardest to stay awake so he could make sure nothing bad happened to him.
“I dunno...” He heard himself reply. “Just not good at sleeping, I suppose.”
“Well, I guess we’re different there.” Natani said. “Never had trouble snoozing under any conditions, be it a bed or a tree branch”
“Then why are you awake?”
They both paused awkwardly. The room was unnaturally silent, and Keith had a sneaking suspicion it had some sound-suppressing spells built into its walls, for all he could hear was the wolf's low breath, a little faster now.
“I just get restless in places like these,” Natani eventually responded. “Hey… Wanna go for a walk?”
Keith tilted his ear out of habit. “What... You mean like in the corridors? Thought you said you didn’t feel…”
The wolf scoffed. “No, you idiot, Outside! There are some nice woods next to the manor, and I haven’t seen a proper tree in weeks... Months, probably. I’m not used to boats, castles and huge houses like this one. Give me a good forest and I’m happy.”
“But... isn’t it snowing right now? We’re in the mountains, remember?”
“What... scared of the cold? Is your little basitin fur too short?”
Keith felt his cheeks go warm and his fur bristle. “Well... Y-yeah! I’m supposed to live on a tropical island! I never even saw snow until after I got banished. My fur IS too short!”
The wolf laughed, and even though it was meant to mock him, the sound made his heart flutter. “Oooh Keith, you fragile little... Hey, let me try something...” The keidran rolled out of bed and rose with a spring in his step, then walked over to the great round table with the magical carvings and put his hand on it. “What’s ‘winter jacket’ in human?”

A few minutes later they were stepping through the looming hallways of the Legacy estate, tiptoeing despite the freakishly thick carpets dampening their footsteps; the corridors were dark and quiet, and almost haunting to Keith; he could easily see how Natani felt unwelcome here, and the knowledge of the magic laden within the walls like a gigantic spider’s web didn’t help.
“How’s the coat?” came as a whisper from beside him.
“A little... big.”
That was an understatement; The long, heavy garb went almost to his ankles, and his tail was trapped beneath it for the lack of a tailhole. “No way was this made for Trace. He’s way too small.”
Natani gave a quiet snicker. “He’s so tiny! Hard to believe I used to think of him as imposing, back before I met him. He’s pretty much the least scary person I can think of.”
“Then why are we whispering?”
The keidran's eyes darted back and forth a couple of times. Keith pretended not to see it.
“Good question.” he replied, still hushed. “Hold on.” He fumbled inside the black cloak until his hands found the blue mana necklace; It was a much sturdier and well-crafted version than the one he’d used before. Under his breath he mumbled a few magic words, and the crystals lit up.
“There.” He said in a normal voice. “Proximity based muffle spell. Creates a little bubble around us, so whatever noise we make won’t go further than a few feet. Very useful. Coupled it with a similar type of invisibility spell, so don’t stray too far from me, or you’ll never find me again.”
Keith whistled. “Damn, you’re really good at that. Thought you said your magic knowledge was basic?”
“Pleeehh... It is simple magic. Nothing to really write home about.” He said, but a slight grin and proud voice told a different story. “Simple... but very effective. I used it with Zen against you and Trace the first time we met. Would’ve worked too, if you weren’t so damn stubborn on not dying.”
Keith nodded and rubbed his chest; The scar left by the entry wound of that arrow was still there.
“Yeah... That hurt.”

The silence of the dark entrance hall was somehow even more oppressive without the echo of their paw pads against marble floor.
“This place. Is so. Damn. Huge!” Natani blurted out as they sauntered down the wide stairs, his eyes jumping from the thick carpet, to the gilded fifteen-foot entrance door, to the distant glass dome far up above. “It’s like a bloody castle! How much money did this guy have?! There’s gold, satin and silk everywhere I look! Expensive, high quality paintings of his friends and family! I used to work for some filthy rich Keidran scumbag back in the day, but I never saw anything close to this kind of wealth... Other than a masquerade I went to as part of a mission, but I think that place was owned by a dragon, so it doesn’t really count.”
Keith shrugged. “Guess being the head of the Templar Order and the single most powerful mage in the world comes with some benefits.”
“I guess... But I’m just not used to it. Even though he took me in as a guest, I still feel like I’m trespassing.”
“That would be because you are. Both of you.”

The voice came from behind.
Keith whirled on the spot, grasping at his waist for a sword that wasn’t there. Natani did the same, but with a glowing hand pointed against the source of the sound, his fur bristling and mana crackling.
“I would strongly advise against using those.” The voice said again. “We already have enough livestock.”
A few breathless seconds passed as they both focused their eyes in the dark. Keith noticed his tail had somehow gotten tangled with Natani’s, though he couldn’t remember it happening.
“Oh... It’s you.” He heard him say. Coldly, but with a subdued nervous quiver. “What are you doing here?”
Above them on the stairs stood the old snow wolf mistress Rose. Her greyed red hair shone in the faint light from the window in the roof, and she was clad in her faded emerald shirt and blazer. Her dark green eyes seemed a little clearer without the glasses.
“My job.” She replied, equally cold. “But I’m more curious as to what you two are doing. You may be guests, and Master Trace may trust you, But I do not. This estate is my responsibility, and I have a duty to see that nothing goes missing.”
She put some extra pressure on the last two words while setting her eyes dead on Natani, who took just half a step back.
“I-I... We were just gunna... I wouldn’t...” The forest wolf stuttered, before stopping with a confused expression. Keith could almost hear the gears turning in his head. “Wait, you can see us? What the hell kind of magic are you using?”
Keith decided to take over. Natani had many strong suits, but diplomacy and bargaining were not among them. “We’re heading out,” He replied calmly. “We’re guests, not prisoners, right? Guests can leave if they so desire, and I would never question the legitimacy of the Grand Templar’s hospitality. The only thing that will ‘go missing’ tonight will be the two of us, and only for a short while. Surely that won’t be a problem, right?”
Rose’s brow rose just a tenth of an inch before she regained herself.
“That... hm.”
Her eyes wandered quickly from Natani to Keith, and then, so fast he barely even caught it, to their intertwined tails, before jumping back to the forest wolf. Keith could’ve sworn he saw a brief smirk in the corner of her mouth.
“...That should not be a problem, as long as you return before dawn. It’s not quite safe out there, but you seem to know your way around magic, and the short one has fast reflexes...”
The short one. He would have to get used to that again, wouldn’t he?
“Hmm....” The snow wolf gave them an indecipherable look. “After a bit of reconsideration, I can’t see how a short escapade could hurt. This mansion was never designed to be a prison.”
There was something in her voice that Keith could’ve sworn was smugness, but it was well hidden under a layer of stern professionalism. And if he didn’t know better, he would’ve said there was a degree of sadness in there as well.
“Well go along then.” she said. “I got the impression you two were in a hurry. It’s the middle of the night, so you have a few hours to… do whatever you were planning before the sun comes up.”
She said the last sentence with her eyes focused on their intertwined tails.
Natani blushed heavily and swished Keith’s tail away from his own in a way that was just dismissive enough to not be convincing in the least.
“We’re not… It’s not like that!”
Rose’s smug smirk got a lot less subtle, and Natani’s blush grew a lot more pronounced.
The next time he spoke, his voice was openly angry. “Oh will you stop that? We’re just two guys who’re tired of being locked inside this stupid house by asshole templars and crusty old slave wolves like you who think they’re better and smarter than us! I don’t know what you are, but I for one am a free wolf, and I need fresh air to live. So, if you’ll excuse me, I will be leaving for a casual stroll, with my close friend. Keith?”
Keith weighed his options for a split second before following Natani down the stairs, turning his back on the old snow wolf.
“Have fun, you two.” Rose mused as they reached the bottom.
Natani flipped her off and put his weight against the door; the giant metal frame was as heavy as it looked.
“Can’t you just use magic?” said Keith, with his shoulder against the gilded frame, his feet scraping into the carpet as he put his full meagre weight on it to help him.
“I’d rather not.” He grunted in reply. “Don’t wanna waste my mana on something as simple as a bloody door. Is this thing locked or something? Damn thing won’t budge!”
“There’s a bolt across the middle” came from atop the stairs.
Rose had turned away from them, but Keith could somehow hear the grin through her voice, along with a slightly rural keidran drawl mixed in her otherwise perfect formal dialect. He threw a look over his shoulder and could’ve sworn he saw her tail wag back and forth a little as it disappeared behind a corner on the second floor.
Natani stopped pushing, and instead focused on the bar holding the two doors in place.
It opened effortlessly, without so much as a creak.
“Oh goddammit.”

The shift in temperature was drastic as the two stepped out of the relatively small gap in the giant doorway; The hallways of the estate, dark, huge and brooding as they were, were at least well heated by magic, and kept warm by impeccable insulation. The outside however was just below freezing, and Keith shuddered lightly when the first gust of icy air blew right through his jacket and fur. His giant ears were not made for this climate and lowered themselves to his head to borrow warmth from the rest of his body.
Natani on the other hand let out a long, satisfied sigh, and stretched; He wore nothing but his boxers, chest bindings and black robe, the latter fluttering in the cold wind as he spread his arms and threw his head back. His winter coat had started to really set in, and his breath flew in a white cloud from his muzzle.
“Aahhh… That’s better.” He murmured. “Got sick of the luxury and the human-temperature rooms. That house wasn’t made for people with fur. Don’t understand how that crummy old snow wolf can stand it.”
Keith rubbed his hands together; “Maybe she’s used to the climate? She hasn’t left the estate in years, you know.”
Natani turned towards him, a little shocked. “Wha- why not? I can’t imagine being inside for too much more than a week unless I’m forced to, much less years. But then again, I’m not a slave. Still… years?!”
Keith tightened his oversized jacket. “Heard she’s bound here by magic. She can’t leave even if she wants to. Not sure about the finer details, but that’s the gist of it.”
He saw Natani’s ears lower.
“She… That’s… horrible.” He exclaimed. “I was joking when I said she was a slave. I didn’t know. I thought she was just being an icy bitch, like most snow wolves I’ve met.”
Keith shrugged. “She was a bit rude to jump us in the middle of the night like that. She also called you a thief, but it looked like you were about to blast her with magic. I’m sure she’s heard worse things, from worse people than you, and with less reason. You could always apologize when we get back.”
“I guess I can.” Natani murmured.
The snow fell thick this evening. Keith’s massive ears were already full of white dots, and Natani’s fur had a similar white coating over the dark brown. It had been a while since Keith had seen him in natural light, and he’d almost forgotten how beautiful he really was. Now that he was out of the mansion doors, it was like he’d recovered something Keith hadn’t noticed he had been missing; his canine ears perked up a little sharper than before, his one brown eye grew just a shade brighter, and his back was a little straighter, as if he wasn’t tall enough already. The smile on his lips had a bit more soul to it than before, and even his hair seemed to get a little wilder, as a few locks had fallen in front of hisr face.
Keith took a moment to just take it in, how his masculine yet somehow simultaneously feminine features glowed in the faint, snow-muffled moonlight. Features that had laid dead in front of him for weeks, in something deeper than sleep. How much he had feared not ever being able to see that awkward smile again.
The slight, wolfish smile glared at him with a raised eyebrow.
“…Keith? Everything alright?”
There was a bit of worry in his voice under the carefree surface. Keith still couldn’t quite believe that someone else could be so genuinely concerned for him. He had spent so much time worrying about the wolf he’d almost forgotten that he could look after him in return.
“It’s just the cold.” He replied. That was partially true; another short gust blew against them, and his ears laid flat against his head.
“Well then I guess we’d better get going” Natani said and began hopping down the steps from the door. “You’ll get cold if you stand still. Walking gets the blood flowing. Believe me, I’ve been on winter missions before.”
The small plaza in front of the mansion was somehow clear of snow, despite how heavy it fell all around; Keith’s sensitive ears picked up a thousand soft splats of snowflakes hitting concrete and evaporating moments later. He assumed the floor to be magically heated, from the mild temperature against his feet and how the wetness caused a wispy steam to rise around his legs as he followed Natani, who had started wagging his tail as they neared the treeline.
“Oh man, you have no idea how much I’ve missed this.” He hummed as the forest engulfed them. “I would sometimes peek over at Zen’s side of the link just to get a whiff of the woods and listen to the breeze. I wasn’t made for grand marble halls and creaking old boats. This is where I belong.”
Keith looked at him and noticed the almost immediate shift in his whole state of being. Something about the way he moved changed the moment the treetops formed a tangled roof over their heads; His stiff, straight-backed and almost unnatural walk turned into a relaxed and fluid stride. His eyes, which had earlier been darting from point to point like that of an uncomfortable animal searching for escape routes were focused ahead under calm brows, completely at ease and in control now that he was back in his element. His lips were relaxed in a confident smile, but with a slight blush across the muzzle.
…A blush that grew a little redder when Keith felt h huge tail poke at his side, swipe down under his jacket to find the base of his own tail and curl around it. He then brushed it slowly upwards, drawing it out until both their tails were in the open, tied around each other once again.
Keith looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and he replied with a “What. We’ve done that before.”
He was aware of his own blush, a good warmth in his face. “Do you have any idea how lewd that gesture is where I come from? Touching the base of someone’s tail with your own is equivalent to sticking your hand down their pants and squeezing whatever you find down there, maybe even worse. We’re talking raunchy porn level here.”
Natani turned away for a moment, and when he looked back his breath was a little quicker, the blush a shade darker. “That’s… an exaggeration, right? It can’t be that saucy for anyone to hold tails. To us wolves it’s a normal show of regular old friendship. Hell, I’ve even done it with Zen a couple times whenever one of us were down in the dumps.”
It was good to laugh. “Well if you openly held tails with your brother while visiting the isles, you’d get a lot of sideways looks, especially since you look so similar. You’d be breaking public and private decency laws, as well as a handful of other ones probably.”
He scoffed and chuckled at the same time. It was the most hauntingly beautiful sound in the world. “Hah. Bloody control freaks, the lot of you. How could you stand it?”
“I couldn’t.”
There was a short silence as what Keith said sunk in, and the only sound in the woods was the noise of fresh snow crunching under two pairs of paws. Natani didn’t let go of his tail, and instead pulled it a little closer.
“Keith…” He eventually began. His usually playful tone had an emotional edge to it now. “…What really happened at that trial? I didn’t understand what was going on. Your ears were hanging limp throughout the entire thing, even after we apparently won. It was rough to hear those crusty old generals give you crap in a language I didn’t know, and I kinda wanted to run up there and give them a lecture in the universal lingo of fist; Good thing their huge king showed up and set things right, or I might’ve done something dumb because I really hate being left in the dark.”
Keith felt his ears sink further; They usually did that when he recalled the events from that day. It seemed like Natani noticed, because his grip on his tail got a little closer.
“A… lot of things happened at that trial.” He said. “I lost my only real friend in the world on that day, as well as…” He didn’t know how to word it anymore, what to call her. “…as well as someone I loved very much. I also came to learn that my father, whom I thought I’d killed because he was a murderous scumbag, was completely innocent, and I had made a kin-slayer of myself for no reason.”
It still hurt, somehow.
On his shoulders sat Alaric, Laura, Cathleen and Cornelius. They weighed down his breath, and he knew they would be there forever, no matter how many years passed. Some wounds never healed fully.
“The… generals said I could keep my life, but they would have to execute you and the others for espionage, sabotage, arson, and…”
Even with the memory of Alaric falling to his death, his body crushed on the rocks below, Keith had to chuckle. It was just too absurdly stupid.
“A-and… eheheh… Breach of decency laws.”
This time it hurt to laugh. But it was made a lot better when joined by Natani’s course chortle as the dark absurdity hit him as well.
“Your country is messed up, you know that? Did I forget to put on ankle wrappings or something? Is that bad enough to warrant execution?”
“Apparently Flora ran around naked at some point.” Keith replied. Laughter and grief battled for dominion in his throat. “But your ankles probably didn’t help.”
They both fell quiet. The grief won for now.
“After I heard that, I… I thought our only way out would be to fight. I drew my sword and asked you to stay behind me. I was wounded, and I’m not that strong for a basitin on a good day, and you were unarmed. We would’ve been cut down in seconds. I almost got us all killed.”
Keith had spent a lot of time thinking about the trial, and how close it had been. He’d gone through the memory over and over, the timeline still fresh in his head. He’d seen it in the eyes of the guards; The cold, un-caring glare for the boy who’d brought chaos and deceit to their doorstep, and an open disgust for the wolf in his tow. Their swords had been out and ready. It would’ve only taken a single command and half a second.
“I was so damn stupid. It’s not like they would behead you right there; Proper basitin bureaucracy is about the slowest thing you can imagine, and it’s not like we didn’t have allies. All I had to do was sit tight and wait for help. But nooo, I had to pull out my big dumb sword and save everyone. Because that worked out so well the last time I did it.”
He ran his hand along his right ear, down to the cleft where Alaric’s blade had nearly cut it clean off. He’d lost a lot of blood in that encounter. But worse than that, he’d lost a childhood friend, by his own actions.
He almost jumped a little when Natani’s hand joined his own, gently stroking the top of his ear. He was firm but gentle, examining the almost fully healed wound.
“You’re doing it again.” He said.
“Doing what?”
“Hating yourself for making the right decisions.”
Natani's hand moved further into the base of his ear and scratched it. “You do it all the time, and I’m not even sure you notice. After you killed Alaric, you berated yourself for merely defending your life and beliefs… and me. You beat yourself up for losing Laura, even though there was no way out other than destroying that tower right there and then. When I was out cold, I get the feeling you were sitting at the edge of my bed all the time, somehow blaming yourself for what had happened to me. Hell, when you were about to throw your dad’s helmet away, you were loathing yourself before you even did it.”
He cupped his ear softly. “You’ve always followed your heart, and it has always been the right call, yet you still act like you’ve done something wrong. Without your good judgement we would’ve all been dead by now. I don’t know what your problem is, or why you can’t get over the bad things that’ve happened to you, but I’m getting a sneaking suspicion you may have a case of the rare ‘Being A Good Person’ disease.”
Keith scoffed. He didn’t know whether his eyes hurt from the cold or from the tears he was holding back. “I think you got your diagnosis wrong, doctor Natani.” He muttered, “You’re talking to a murderer and kin-slayer who was too stupid and weak to ever find a better way out. I couldn’t even help you when you were knocked out, and I made life a living hell for everyone around me. I’m as far from a decent person as you can get.”
The wolf crossed his arms and growled. “Oh, is that so? If you’re a ‘bad person’, whatever that means, then what does that make me?” He snorted in his ear. “What you said earlier was right; Zen and I are mediocre assassins at best, but even so, I’ve killed more people than I can count…” He looked down at his hands, counting on his fingers. “…Not that I was ever good with numbers. But I’m still pretty sure I’ve got you beat tenfold there. Unlike you, I almost never regret it, because just like you, I did it because I had to. If anyone’s an asshole here, it’s me. At least you feel bad for killing people.”
“It’s… That’s not the same.” mumbled Keith, and he heard how flimsy the argument was even before it came out his mouth.
“You bet your ass it’s not the same.” Natani continued, a bit angrier. “I’ve lived my whole life stabbing people in the back and mangling them with magic from afar. People I don’t even know, who might have wives, husbands or children. Tell me, is that somehow better than killing your wife-killer dad, or defending yourself against a ruthless opponent who is way stronger, faster and smarter than you? Because it sure doesn’t seem like it to me. Life keeps forcing you to make impossible choices, and that’s not your fault. If you tell someone they’re an asshole for long enough, they’ll eventually start to believe it. Let them believe it for years and it becomes true. Trust me, I’ve lived around enough scumbags to know how they’re made, and I have no plans on letting it happen to you.”
Natani's tail rode back up under his coat and rubbed at Keith's lower back as he turned towards him. Keith wondered if he should tell him that he was doing the basitin equivalent of fondling his balls but left it alone.
The keidran's eyes had a layer of sadness in them under all the passion when he set them on him this time. “You are a good person, Keith. I know you’re too bull-headed and downtrodden to see it, so I thought I should tell you outright. The world seems determined on making you do horrible things, to fool you into thinking there’s nothing good in you, but that’s simply not true, and I won’t let you believe it; This series of tragedies, patricide and heartache ends with me. I don’t know if it’ll make your regrets go away, but I’m hoping to at least see these stand up straight more often.”
He grabbed the tips of his limp ears and held them up like the hat on a puppet; “I don’t know why they seem to be broken tonight, but I’ll see what I can do to fix them so they’ll face upwards again, in the only way I know.”
“What, are you gonna kiss m-”
Indeed, he was.
Before Keith could finish the sentence, Natani fastened his grip and pulled his face forwards into the wettest and warmest kiss he’d ever known.
With one hand firmly holding his ear and the other at the back of his head, the wolf closed his lips gently around his mouth, lips drawn back as they sealed themselves around him. Despite his huge, sharp fangs, Natani managed to make himself soft somehow, a word Keith would never have used to describe him; even with his strong wolf-hands holding him resolutely in place, nothing about it was forced or brutish, not with the way his heavy nasal breath rose past his face in little clouds, or the way his heart hammered at him through chest bindings, flesh, fur and clothes.
Keith could vaguely make out the feeling of his ears rising to a rigid salute, teased up by the passionate strokes, both his hand against his ear and his tongue against his own.
The snow fell in thick white clumps around them as the embrace grew tighter. Natani moved his hand from his head and down to his back, drawing him closer until their bodies were pressed together, yet he refused to break the kiss and settled for muffled breaths through his snout, with the occasional slightly intoned noise that sounded halfway like a moan and halfway like “Keith~”
His thumb found The basitin's earlobe, and made itself busy with exploring it, fumbling its way into an area that would’ve caused most of his kind to either faint, punch him, or cum on the spot. Or all three in any order.
But Keith felt only a dull pain somewhere between his chest and throat, and it had nothing to do with how hard he was being held. It was the same pain that had threatened to crush him when Natani had crashed into the floor of the Na’Rella, both eyes greyed out and lifeless. The same hollow agony that had stolen his breath as the ship went up in flames with him inside.
Back then he’d thought the feeling was fear, or maybe grief, with how similar it was to the haunting pain that had engulfed him when Laura’s deep blue eyes closed themselves for the last time. The pain had faded since then, but never quite left him, always throbbing away somewhere between his throat and his heart. This soft ache was one of the hundred things that had kept him staring into the ceiling earlier tonight, pondering over wood carvings and missed opportunities.
And now, with Natani’s hands massaging his sensitive ear, their mouths locked together in a hot, personal and deeply intimate kiss, it flared up again as an agonizing fire in his chest. It burned away all the air in his lungs and left behind a hard vacuum. He swallowed past the fresh lump in his throat, gasping for breath through his nose, clutching around Natani’s back, his hands grasped at his long flowing hair like a drowning man clutching a lifesaver. He blinked into the snowy night, trying to make the wetness disappear from his eyes.
He had to tell him. This was the moment.
Natani’s jaws had a strong grip, his teeth almost digging into the flesh around his mouth, yet he tried;
“Natahllnmhh~”
His words were strangled as Natani squeezed him even harder and pushed his tongue into the back of his mouth with a firm and slippery offensive. He kept it there for a couple of seconds before languidly pulling back, panting frantic clouds of steam onto his face.
“Don’t… -haah- Don’t speak. You’re just gonna say something sad. K-kiss me instead. Just… -mhn-”
Without letting him get further than “Natani, I lo-” he went back in deeper than before. There was a fierceness in the kiss that went beyond regular passion, as if the wolf was trying to eat him alive, or at least get a thorough taste; he had him pinned beneath a set of huge jaws and a powerful wild tongue that licked against his mouth with strong, slow laps. He felt his left-hand press against his back, claws pricking at him even through the thick jacket, while his right one continued to finger his ear, thumb stroking resolutely at his inner earlobe.
‘Don’t speak’ he’d said.
The pressure in his chest needed an outlet; Once again it threatened to break him like it had so many times before, stealing what little breath he could force down past the wolf’s tongue.
 And if he wouldn’t let him say it with words, then he would have to find another way to tell him...
 With his feet almost slipping in the snow, Keith began to push. Hard, but not as hard as Natani, he squeezed his lower back, fastening his hands in his black, snow-covered robe. Considering the size difference, it was quite an uphill battle; He had to plant his paws firmly into the snow and stretch himself to turn the kiss from a one-sided smooch into a mutual game of tongue-wrestling. Natani seemed to soften a little from this new offensive, his arms slightly looser around him, his breath a little stronger and faster. But Keith wasn’t done yet. With a surge of passionate strength, he pushed with his entire body and felt the keidran waver, and then taking a single step back to keep his balance.
...Tell him how much he loved him.
Natani made a short, wolf-like sound of surprise as he was forced another step backwards, and then another after that. Barely keeping himself upright, he retreated until both their paws were stepping on dirt and roots rather than snow.
Distracted by Keith’s oral advances he had backed them both up under the massive branches of a dark pine tree, busied with the task of staying on his feet. With a breathless ‘whuff’, and a low thunk, his back hit the rough surface of the trunk. His canine exhale was followed by a muffled gasp; Keith rushed after him and lay himself against his chest until he was squished between his warm body and the cold tree.
Keith knew he was in unknown territory now; With Natani’s uncertainty of his own gender and sexuality, this new and almost violent advance could be rude and respectless. He knew Natani should be the one to decide the pace, to take the lead. But the fire in him disagreed, and he thrust himself against him again, chests grinding heavily together.
His voice echoed in his head.
‘You’ve always followed your heart, and it has always been the right call’
With another powerful push, he pressed him against the tree, moaning into his mouth.
This was it.
The right call.