Meeting of the Lordly Bros

CloudKing: I’ve called this meeting of the lordly bros to order.
ShadowLord: I can’t believe you actually invited me to this channel.
InfernalLeige: You’re a royal now and a bro.
CloudKing: Do we know if Ananta’s gonna show?
InfernalLeige: He’s been MIA for a while, wouldn’t count on it.
CloudKing: Guy really took that break up hard, huh.
ShadowLord: He cheated on Cherry.
CloudKing: Yeah like I said, hard break up.
CloudKing: But that’s not why we’re here. I need the sagely advice from my fellow lord bros.
ShadowLord: The answer is no. Can I go now?
CloudKing: So you know how like, Zor and I, we’re friends with benefits right?
ShadowLord: Uh huh…
CloudKing: So I was talking with Nyx and she was going on about crazy alternate universes and she mentioned this one universe where Zora and a couple other girls are there but we’re not?
InfernalLeige: Oh great, more universes.
CloudKing: And like I shouldn’t be jealous but there’s this like other universe full of other people and she’s like totally doing all them I’m sure.
InfernalLeige: But… that’s the point of polyamory. She’s hitting up multiple people just in this universe. You know that.
CloudKing: I know! That’s why I don’t understand. Why am I so bent out of shape about this?
ShadowLord: Well my suggestion would be to not have polyamorous relationships in the first place, but you kids aren’t going to listen to old man tradition, are you?
InfernalLeige: Bruh get with the times. It’s all about free love. 420 blaze it.
ShadowLord: The fact that you’re so quiet in real life makes these comments even worse.
InfernalLeige: But no really Kaj has a point. This “friends with benefits” thing is what got you in trouble in the first place dude.
CloudKing: Hey. Zora and I know that the minute I get into a real relationship I’ll drop the benefits.
InfernalLeige: Yeah but does your future girlfriend know that?
CloudKing: Man you guys are no help at all.
ShadowLord: What was this alternate universe like anyway? Something weird like, up is down, or people are corn?
CloudKing: No… something about vampires and werewolves.
InfernalLeige: Pffft, please, we can take them on.
ShadowLord: Recognize anyone specific?
CloudKing: Well Zora, her sister, and… Midnight, I think. Those were the only ones I caught in Nyx’s rant.
CloudKing: She also mentioned something about a scruffy dark skinned dude.
ShadowLord: Excuse me?
CloudKing: With three eyes.
ShadowLord: Oh.
InfernalLeige: I don’t know, could be some weird mutation from your inter-universal data.
ShadowLord: No.
CloudKing: Yeah, considering how you were just talking about polyamory, I doubt this.
CloudKing: Though I don’t know… Midnight and Anya, Kaj?
ShadowLord: …no.
CloudKing: Yeah didn’t think so.
InfernalLeige: So wait, the guy with extra vision is dating the girl with no vision.
CloudKing: Well when you put it that way.
InfernalLeige: So greedy.
CloudKing: So wait wait, if you were a part of this universe, would you be a vampire or a werewolf?
ShadowLord: Uh, I guess if I had the choice, I’d lean towards werewolf?
CloudKing: Thinking vampire, personally.
InfernalLeige: Can I be a dragon?
CloudKing: No.
InfernalLeige: This alternate universe sucks.
CloudKing: But anyway, what you guys are saying about my jealousy problem is…?
ShadowLord: Don’t be?
CloudKing: Come on, you’re not at least a little jealous that weird mutant you is getting twice the pussy?
ShadowLord: Unless one of them is Luna then no.
CloudKing: There was a Luna mentioned.
ShadowLord: Wait what? Why didn’t you tell me this before!?
CloudKing: Well it’s a common name. Didn’t know if it’s our Luna.
ShadowLord: Did you get a description?
CloudKing: I dunno… Pinky, silvery…
ShadowLord: …
InfernalLeige: I’m sure it’s a different one than our’s.
ShadowLord: So wooden stakes kill vampires and silver kills werewolves right?
InfernalLeige: Teruchi look what you’ve done.
CloudKing: I am definitely going to watch this.
ShadowLord: Nobody fucks my wife in alternate dimensions other than alternate dimension me.
InfernalLeige: Isn’t that a little unfair?
CloudKing: Nah, someone finally gets it.
InfernalLeige: Ugh, Kaj, look what /you’ve/ done.

CloudKing: So wait guys I just realized.
CloudKing: If Midnight, Anya, and mutant Kaj hook up in an alternate universe, do you think they’ll hook up in this universe?
InfernalLeige: Well the threesome isn’t happening, but Midnight and Anya could be a thing…
ShadowLord: They’d have to break up with their respective lovers though.
CloudKing: Oooh things could get messy. We totally have to watch for this.
InfernalLeige: You’re such a drama queen…
ShadowLord: Anya’s going out with that blind cat girl, right?
ShadowLord: Must have a thing for blind girls…
CloudKing: What would it take for a blind person orgy around here?
InfernalLeige: We have enough for an orgy?
CloudKing: Yeah man. We have cat girl, Midnight, that Ank guy, and Arcenia.
CloudKing: Okay okay we’ll wait three years and then have that blind orgy.
CloudKing: Because you know… No underage orgies.
InfernalLeige: Uh huh.
CloudKing: Woah hold up, did Midnight and Morning break up already?
ShadowLord: Hm?
CloudKing: Her profile lists him as a “best friend.”
InfernalLeige: It’s already starting…
CloudKing: Friendzoned!
CloudKing: Friiiiieeeeeennnnndddd zooooonnnnneeeeddd!!!
ShadowLord: So I guess that’s a yes, if someone hooks up in one universe, then I suppose they’re destined to hook up in all universes.
InfernalLeige: And if someone is single in one universe, then they’re destined to be alone in all universes.
CloudKing: I can feel that directed at me all the way across the internet.
InfernalLeige: It’s good for Kaj though. It means that other Luna is either not our Luna, or will hook up with another Kaj.
ShadowLord: I don’t know, what if it’s just coincidence?  Like, what if it’s an alternate universe where someone dies prematurely? Will their star-crossed lover be forever alone, or will they be free to find someone else?
InfernalLeige: Hm, that’s a good point. There could be a universe where Teruchi really did kill Luna for good. What would you even do then?
CloudKing: Hey!
ShadowLord: Honestly I don’t even want to think about it.
InfernalLeige: We need more data points. Think we can get Nyx to tell us about other alternate universes, and who’s dating who in each of them?
CloudKing: Hm… I guess I can give it a shot. I’ll see what I come up with.

CloudKing: Okay so I talked with Nyx and she said that she didn’t know of too many alternate universes off the top of her head that applied…
CloudKing: But she did give some rules for lovers across universes.
ShadowLord: There’s rules?
CloudKing: Apparently.
CloudKing: So, generally speaking, if you’re hitched with someone in one universe, there’s a very good chance you’re also hitched in other universes.
CloudKing: But this isn’t always the case, for various reasons. Death and simply not existing are some of them. In this case, you can fall in love with someone else.
CloudKing: When this happens, sometimes the universe puts those lovers in competition. And if one lover ends up dominant over another, then it’ll spill over into the first lover’s universe, and they’ll no longer be a thing.
InfernalLeige: Woah.
ShadowLord: How does the universe determine which of the two lovers are more, you know, meant for each other?
CloudKing: Uh… Nyx didn’t really say.
CloudKing: I guess the universe just thinks one couple is cuter than another?
InfernalLeige: …
ShadowLord: This is stupid.
CloudKing: Okay, so I had a thought.
CloudKing: What if we went alternate universe hopping?
CloudKing: And in each alternate universe, we collected each of our significant others?
CloudKing: We could either do a bar hop thing, where we just make the rounds having sex with all the alternate universe lovers,
CloudKing: Or we just grab them all for one big orgy.
ShadowLord: …
InfernalLeige: …
ShadowLord: I can’t tell if that’s absolutely the worst idea ever…
InfernalLeige: Or if it’s absolutely fucking brilliant.
CloudKing: Eh? Eh?
ShadowLord: Um… I mean, it’s just a hypothetical scenario right now. Unless Nyx can actually take us to alternate universes.
CloudKing: I’ll go ask.
InfernalLeige: …
ShadowLord: Oh dear.

CloudKing: So Nyx said she technically can take us to alternate universes but it’s not easy.
CloudKing: And then she ranted about parallel universes for a bit.
CelestialImperator: What are you guys talking about in here?
InfernalLeige: Oh shit who invited Ranthael?
CelestialImperator: Nyx said you were asking a lot of questions about alternate universes and wanted to know what you were up to.
ShadowLord: So she sent you?
CloudKing: To be honest Nyx could have joined herself. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she’s not a bro.
CloudKing: You just have to follow the name theme.
InfernalLeige: You know Ranthael’s user handle does follow the element-royal pattern already.
InfernalLeige: And he is the royalist of the royals.
CloudKing: Welcome to the Lordly Bros chat room then!
CelestialImperator: Uh… thanks.
CelestialImperator: So what were you all talking about that involved alternate universes?
ShadowLord: Having sex with an infinite number of wives.
CelestialImperator: …Oh.
CloudKing: Put it this way man, there could be an alternate universe where you’re happily hitched to Lucientelle. Wouldn’t you want to visit that world?
CelestialImperator: Uh…
InfernalLeige: And, Nyx told us that a person’s relationships in one universe can directly influence a relationship in another universe. So even if you’re literally destined to be alone, you could find a universe where it’s easier to get the girl you want, and it’ll spill over into this one.
CelestialImperator: So… that’s how it works?
CloudKing: Yeah. Probably. If Nyx isn’t messing with us.
CelestialImperator: I don’t know. I’ve been talking with Telgard and the me from his universe is… interesting? I’m not sure if I’d want to have that spill over. It’s not bad it’s just… different.
CloudKing: Come on man, you gotta take charge of your own fate.
CloudKing: You can steal any girl you want and their lover won’t ever know it was you not them.
InfernalLeige: Wait what?
InfernalLeige: This plan is getting more and more sinister.
FatesBandit: So that’s what you’re up to…
InfernalLeige: Welp, well done.
CloudKing: Hey you can’t be in here! You don’t have the correct name scheme.
FatesBandit: Excuse you I’m the royalist of the thieves. I’m in charge of all your piddly little destinies I think I’m in charge enough to royalize you youngins.
ShadowLord: I… okay.
FatesBandit: Anyways like I said yes its possible but you weirdos are using this power for evil not good.
FatesBandit: Also I got a ping from the universe, turns our your bud Zor isn’t “totally doing all them” or whatever. In fact she’s feeling a bit lonesome.
CloudKing: Oh?
FatesBandit: Too bad you had your universe hopping privileges taken away.
CloudKing: Oh come on!
FatesBandit: Sorry man I don’t make the rules.
FatesBandit: I just steal them when it’s convenient.
CloudKing: So if I didn’t talk about how I would use alternate universes to have sex, you’d let me travel to alternate universes to have sex?
FatesBandit: Uh yeah I guess.
CloudKing: …
InfernalLeige: I dunno dude seems fair to me.
CelestialImperator: Hey look at the bright side, maybe there really is a you that exists in this alternate universe and you just haven’t met yet.
CloudKing: Dude I don’t care about what alternate universe me does. If it doesn’t affect current universe me then it doesn’t actually matter.
ShadowLord: Trans-universal orgasms Nyx?
FatesBandit: HA
FatesBandit: HAHAHAHA
FatesBandit: no.
ShadowLord: Sorry man I tried.
CloudKing: It was a noble effort.