Thread 9: Stories 121-134

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>Rarity
"Spike"

--------

*Rarity lays in her bedchambers, snoring softly beneath her purple silken sheets, embroidered with her cutie mark*

*Her door creaks open and a sliver of light shines across her face*

*Spike walks inside and shuts the door with a small click, emotion evident on his face*

"R... Rarity? Are you awake?"

"I need to talk. It's about us."

*Rarity stirs from slumber, opens her eyes and faces Spike*

>Is something wrong, dear?

*Spike stands there for a moment before sighing heavily*

>Please, come sit with me Dah-ling, tell me what's wrong.

"I-It's about Applejack. We're having some proble- I shouldn't talk about this, you have enough to worry about, nevermind. Try to go back to sleep"

*Spike turns back towards the door*

>You can talk to me about anything, I want to help you if I can, Spike.

*Spike sits beside Rarity on her bed*

"I don't think Applejack loves me anymore..."

>Please don't think that way, I know that she loves you very much Spikey-Wikey. We all love you.

*Spike scootches closer to Rarity*

"I don't think so, she said she hates me, hates what I've become. What we became, Charity and I"

>We did exactly what we had to, Darling. We saved a lot of ponies from getting hurt, or worse. I hope you know that.

"You're right. I did exactly what I had to"

*Spike kisses Rarity, she is surprised at first but quickly leans in and returns it*

"And I'd do it again"

>Should we take things slow? You must feel very conflicted and I thi-

"Take it slow? I've had it with slow, I want this to happen, I need this to happen Rarity"

*Spike kisses Rarity again and gets under the covers with her*

>Mmmmm, well I have a lot to teach you!

*Spike freezes in place and Rarity finds herself paralyzed*

>*internal* What's happening? Spike? Are you okay?!

[You can continue this dream tomorrow night for the low low price of 599 bits! To take advantage of this one-time promotional offer, please mail the bits express post to Princess Luna at Canterlot Castle, 19204. The dream will continue when payment is recieved]

*Rarity jolts awake in her bedroom, Spike is nowhere to be seen*

>WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MY PURSE?!
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>Rarity
"Applejack"
[Spike]
~~~~~

>Oh, Spikey-wikey! Would you mind rubbing some sun tan lotion on me?

"He can't he's got ta' get me first."

>You!? Why you over me?

"Ah' asked first."

>But darling, I'm more in danger of getting burned!

"Didn't ya'll say that white reflects light better? Shouldn't that mean you'll tan less?"

>Don't bring your logic into this, give me that bottle!

[Uh, girls?]

"It's mah' bottle!"

>You borrows it from me!

[Girls?]

"Ya' said Ah' could have it!"

>I didn't know you were going to use it for this!

"GIMME!"

>GIMME!

[Girls, that's not-]

*SPLATW*

"Dang it, Rarity! It's splattered all over both of us now!"

>This is clearly your fault!

"Ya'll were pulling on the stupid... hey, is this looks weird."

>Is that...

[That would be mustard. This is the suntan lotion.]

>...Why would they make those bottles look so similar!?

"That's jus' poor marketin', that's what that is...

>...you just noticed them too, didn't you?

"The total sea of seagulls surroundin' us?"

>Looks like a couple thousand.

[...And I did not bring my weapons. Shit.]

"Easily... Rar? Spike?"

[Yeah?]

>Yes, darling?

"...Iffin' Ah' had ta fight with any two, ya'll are the ones Ah' want."

[...Same.]

>Of course, darling. Till the end?

"Till the last apple falls from the tree."

>["CHARGE"]
~~~~~~~

[I didn't know ponies were omnivores.]

>We're not, darling. More seagull, Applejack?

"Iffin' ya please."
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>Applejack
"Rarity"
~~~~~
>Rares... Can Ah talk to ya'll for a moment?

"Hmmm?"

>Well, now yer still well within yer budget, but this new cost Ah'm seein' sort o' stands out...

"Oh! Umm.. Well... This is embarressing but... i've been paying for a service to have erotic dreams of Spike... If I must be blunt."

>... How good 're these dreams?

Rarity smiles


"Let me try to set you up, dear."
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>Luna
"Applejack"
‘77’
_______

Two mares crept silently through a darkened, eldritch forest, unable to see the sky for the thick foliage and heads turning swiftly at every sudden snap of a twig or whisper of wind.

"...an' y'all jus' decided to bring me into this creepy dreamworld thing because why again? Explain it to me one more time."

>Because what we've seen demands another clear vision to bear witness to such atrocities.

"Right. Jus' wanted to make sure it was still a bullshit reason."

>Snark if you must, but soon you will see....

"Whose dream're we in anyway?"

>77.

The top of Applejack's head nearly blew off.

"WHAT? Are y'all outta yer' buckin' mind?! No wonder it looks so dreary and lifeless 'round here! Why would ya go into his dreams in the first place?"

>Mostly to shock him, at first. Then, he shocked us with his noble intentions.

"Noble...?"

>Indeed. He's taken to lucid dreaming in an effort to use his subconscious as a means to prepare himself against whatever else may try to bring harm to Equestria.

"Ya gotta be kiddin' me."

>We are afraid not.

"Wow... it's a damn shame when a creature who was primarily for bringin' Equestria to its knees is now takin' a more proactive step towards protectin' it than those who pledged to."

>Now that you make mention, yes, it's certainly something to sigh about.

"But why do y'all need me here again...?"

>Because we deem you as one of Equestria's most strongest legs and as such, we would like your opinion on whether this is a good thing... or a terrible thing.

>Ominous. But okay….

The two mares finally broke free of the forest proper, and Applejack gasped. Now she had seen some pretty terrifying things in her day from a destroyed crop to a failed zap apple harvest but this… this was beyond all of that that, almost beyond her comprehension.

The sky was a bright, pulsating crimson, like it might rain blood any second while the air she inhaled upon gasping nearly threw her into a coughing fit it was so stale. Which she found to be odd considering this was a dream world.

>Look there, in the middle of the clearing….

And so she did, and beheld what looked like a single Changeling slicing through hordes and hordes of Manticores and Timberwolves. Quite easily at that. And with only a knife carved from bone.

“Is that…?”

>Yes.

“And is he…?”

>Effortlessly decimating entire swathes of some of the fiercest creatures of the Everfree Forest? Yes.

“Is he also…?”

>Humming some sort of lullaby while he does so? Yes.

The two mares feel silent for a few minutes, merely observing as 77 twirled his legendary weapon around a hoof, sidestepped the wild swing of a Manticore and leapt up, pushing the tip of his bone knife right into its forehead. It slid in like a hot knife through butter and 77 kicked off, his calming lullaby clearly heard even over all the hostile growls and snarls and boom of thunder.

“And Ah guess this is what y’all wanted mah opinion on.”
>Yes. He’s doing well, obviously, but is he doing too well is the question. And also whether he possesses talent like this outside the dream world.

“Ah… don’t rightly know, to either question. Ya say he’s fightin’ to protect Equestria, right?”

Luna nodded, flinching ever so slightly as the sounds of a femur snapping under a hoof echoed across the clearing.

“Then... we jus’ leave ‘em be. Ah think that'd be best.”

>Agreed.

Down in the battlefield, only a few stragglers of both creatures remained while 77 stood in their midst, glancing about leisurely from atop a small mound of unmoving bodies and busted wood.

‘It seems I have some unexpected visitors. I do hope I’ve given them a good show. Maybe next time I’ll dream a bigger challenge. I feel like a bully the way I’m handling these pitiful animals….’
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>29
"56"
~~~

>...

"...okay, wow, you look rough cuz. What happened? Did no-butt the princess pull out the flyspray this time."

>...

"...Diiid Spiko shoot at you?

>...

"C'mon, cuz! Can't help you if you don't say anything! You want to go grab Moon's plot? She'll let ya' if I ask, probably."

>...

"What's that smell?"

>Shame, little cousin. That is the smell of shame.

"...It smells like that stuff Celly drinks before she goes and visits Shiny."

>...It's that too.

"...Ya' could've just said "I chickened out of whatever I was gonna do and got drunk" ya' know."

>...This is more thematically appealing.

"Suuuure it is."

~~~~
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>Spike
"42"
'77'
~~~~~
'No poppet tonight?'

>She wants to spend some time with her dad, and homework. Knowing Cheerlie, I can only imagine the terrible things that await a tardy assignment.

'So she runs a tight ship when teaching foals, him? Sounds like quite woman, perhaps we could be introduced sometime?'

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

>... Sure... Maybe.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

>But I need to ask you two on something.

'Always welcomed, but you may not like what you learn.'

"What's on your mind, Spike?"

>I was completely powerless against Flash Sentry, and had he not been ordered to capture me, I'd be dead right now. I haven't felt so weak and helpless in a long time... I'm not a trained soldier, I'm not even physically an adult...

Ohmygawd, hold your breath and cross your eyes!

>I want to ask if you two will train me like you've been training the soldiers? Train me like you have Shining Armor.

'Of course.'

"YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

'you have quite a foul mouth, you know that, right?'

"Nevermind, look, Spike, the training I give to troops is hard and brutal. You're not gonna survive, dragon or not."

'Neither is mine but i'm still willing to give him a chance.'

>Please! If I am to be any use to the A-Team, Equestria, my friends, anyone! It's time I work. i'll train with the troops if I have to!

'A capital idea. your failure will either remind them how far they've come, or your successes will show them what they can achieve.'

"alright, but you're training with the troops, no special treatment?"

>how one-on-one fights like with Shining off the table?

"...Nah. That wre can work on... We never did finish our fight in the Pit of A thousand Corpses."

>Kind of makes you wanna see where it'll end, huh?

"Oh, I know how it's gonna end, just curious as to how you'll struggle."
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>Spike
"42"
'77'
[SA]
-Celestia-
~Applejack~
~~~~~
~Decided to replace Shiny wit' Spike fer yer laughs?~

-Don't be ridiculous, I'm here to make sure we don't lose one of our best. Especially since it was his idea-

~Good lord...~

'have faith in the boy. He won't be allowed to use Charity, but he's still a dragon'

[Whoo! Kick his ass, 42!]

~Ain'cha supposed ta be supportive! He's yer friend!~

[Who has put me through hell in way too many OnO games for his own amusement...]

down in the ring

"Nervous? seems the crowd's stacked against you."

>I've never let bad odds-

42 sucker punches Spike

"Rule one! Keep your guard up-"

Spike spits a loose tooth and blood into 42's face and returns the punch only for 42 to barely block

>good advice! Brass shoes? Why do you get a weapon? Did you use that against Shining Armor?

"Hey, you told me yourself, a baby dragon's still a dragon!"

42 begins sending a flurry of hits Spike's way he can only block them with crossed arms resulting in his arms rapidly getting sore, once his guard weakens, 42 spins and sends a hard buck right into Spike's face

"Man, no wonder he asked for this... This is just sad-!"

42 dodges a piece of rubble thrown her way and blocks a series of Spike's own punches

"Trying to take the offense? Gutsy. but dumb!"

42 counters one of Spike's punches with a punch of her own, nearly breaking the knuckles, followed by three hard hits to the diaphragm, throat, and nose in quick succession

~He's gettin' creamed! Someone stop-!~

'Calm down...'

77 stands up and shouts to Spike

'Spike! Stop fighting like her! A baby dragon is still a dragon! Use the unconventional!'

Spike is punched as he tries to listen to 77

"Rule One, kid!"

42 follows with a hard hook which follows Spike even as he evades back, ending with him tumbling down.

-... It's over, that's enoug-!-

Spike rolls right back up to his feet

>Round Two!...
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>Spike
"SA"
~~~

>Hey, Shiny! What's going on-

His friendly greeting fell quickly to Shining Armor's less than friendly blow to the head.

"You..."

>That was just uncalled fo-AH!

"I cannot... no. No, Spike. NO! Do you understand me!? NO!"

>What the hell are you going on about!?

"You... you shot SURRENDERING OPPONENTS!?"

>...

"Spike, I... fuck. I can't believe this got this bad. No. This is too far."

>I... I know, I realized how bad I got later-

"NOT LATER! Later is not good enough! Later might mean ponies are DEAD."

It's a good thing he was still pretty small, that claw to the face might have hurt otherwise.

>Why are you on my case about this? You're a soldier, or at least you WERE! You should understand!

"...I don't understand, and I don't want to. I am the Prince of my Empire, a former Captain of the guard! I know better than anyone what lines you DON'T cross, Spike, and..."

>...What? And what!?

His eyes suddenly grew sad.

"And I haven't really been here for my family, have I?"

>Wha-

It didn't matter if he could have continued, not like Shining Armor would have understood him all muffled by his larger chest.

"I am so, so sorry little brother. I... I should have been here when this started happening to you. Celestia damn it, I... I was a soldier, a guard, a warrior, I could have helped you more than anyone. I understood what you started to go down, I've been there."

>...You couldn't have stopped this.

"Spike, I know you're only saying that to make me feel better, and it's not working. When she... when Chrysalis reached her full peak, she was beyond gone, mentally. She thought she was some kind of deity."

White forelegs suddenly tightened.

"But I pulled her back. I got her back. I could have done the same to you, no problem. I just... I can't stop fucking up, can I? If it's not one problem I'm neglecting, it's another."

>...Shining, you didn't-

"I didn't do the right thing, and I almost lost my little brother. Never again. From now on, I'm watching you. You start to slip, I'm pulling you back to reality, whether you like it or not, got it? I don't care how much you fight me on this. I take hits from 42 all the damn time, you can't even phase me. Are we clear?"

>...Y-yeah, we're clear.

"I'm supposed to be the Big Brother Best Friend Forever, it's time I started living up to that for ALL my family."

Claws dug into white fur so tightly they drew blood, but he never even flinched. He had to let the dragon know he was there for him.

No matter what species, big brothers always have to look out for their little brothers, and he would be no exception.
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"Kid, listen to your friends, would you really be going on like this in a real fight?"

>Stop pulling your punches and find out.

42 once more goes for the hook and connects as Spike evades back, but instead of tumbling, he rolls on to his tail and springs back on it delivering a kick 42 blocks but is sent skidding backwards from

"'A friendly match' he said... Alright, so he wants a real fight? Good."

42 charged at Spike who takes a defensive stance when he's knocked forward from a telekinetically flung piece of debris from behind, while he's staggering 42 peppers him with shots of magic until Spike's in melee range

Before 42 can deliver her attack though, her world explodes in heat as Spike spits fire into her face, instincts startling 42 until a fist breaks the smokescreen and connects to her face, quickly followed by a second

She predicts the pattern of the next attack and prepares to counter only to feel her hindlegs swept out from under by Spike's tail

His claws grab her ears and he begins slamming his head against hers
Again
and again
and again
and again

Spike's offensive stops, along with the rest of him shortly before he falls over, grabbing his groin in pain

-This fight is over! 42 is victorious! Someone get a medic!-

42 pants heavily and approaches Spike

"You're a little shit, you know that?"

She extends a hoof to help him up

"I salute you!"

>Thanks... I'll be done for training exercises tomorrow...

"Good to hear."

Applejack comes rushing down

~Spike! Are you gonna be okay, loverboy?~

>Oh yeah... never better...

~Uhh... Is... THAT gonna be okay too?~

>... Gimme a bit before I answer that.
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>Spike
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

*SLAM!*

>GAH!

"No need to be afraid, it is merely I, your god!"

>...You can't be serious.

"Eh, there was a moment. Anyway! Point is, heard you're thinking of getting frisky with Whitey and the orange who is an apple. HAH! Orange apples. Funny."

>...you CAN'T be serious.

"So, just wanted to bring you this!"

>Please, no, please don't let that be a-

"Ponysutra! Threesome edition. Filled with a BUNCH of annotations, provided by yours truly."

>I need an adult.

"Whoa! Hey, no. Not happening. You and me just ain't gonna work lizard boy. Got my sights set whiter."

>...I need ALL the adults.

"Sweet mercy, it's just a threesome edition! Ease into it, don't go nuts before your nuts go."

"This is not okay. There is a bad touch in my brain."

"WHOA! Hey, whatever princess is doing this, at least wait till I'm out of the room. You freaking ponies, gettin all mind mixy. You all just have your little orgy, I want no part of it! HRMPH!"

>...You left your book-

"Keep it! Got it memorized!"

>...I'm going to go bathe in fire real quick. So... so much fire.
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How y'all doin' t'day? Thanks fer showin' up everypony, Ah promise not t'make this take f'rever, but as th' newest princess of Ponyville, Ah thought Ah'd take th' time t' say hello an' introduce m'self.

Ah'm Applejack, y'all know that, of Sweet Apple Acres, an' Ah gotta admit, Ah don't know th' first thing 'bout rulership. Ah know plenty 'bout pickin' apples, sellin' apples, runnin' a bus'ness, but rulership, democracy, all that fancy jibber-jabber, Ah don't know a damn thing. So Ah figured Ah'd stick t'what Ah know: From here on out, Ponyville ain't no democracy, it ain't no constitutional monarchy, it's a business.

An' th' first rule of bus'ness is there ain't no free lunches, so Ah'm abolishing all free services. Ah mean, just think about it, all that free healthcare, flower-waterin', vet'rinean services, it adds up! Y'all want yer taxes goin' t' that sorta thing?

Well, y'all don't need t'worry, ain't gon' be no more taxes! Now everypony pays fer what they take an' what they need.

Second order o' business is competition, Ponyville's got plenty o' competitors, so we gotta compete right back! As o' last night, Ah sent th' first Volunteer Militia Corps of Ponyville to institute a hostile takeover o' Appleloosa.

Y'all don't need t' thank me, Ah'm a princess, after all. S' mah duty t' take care of Ponyville.

Aw c'mon now y'all, why y'gotta cling to outdated notions o' monarchism, democracy an'/or theocracy? Wha's so wrong with a state where everypony got th' ability t' 'sploit their nat'ral 'bilities, skills an' ambition without bein' dragged down by welfare queens, com'nists an' nobles?

NON CANON
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>DT
"77"
'42'
-Twilight-
[Rarity]
~~~~~
-Alright, time to have the Alpha Team test out the Sub-Space Alternate Reality Simulator!-

'Don't be afraid to take the gloves off, Princess, we're no softies'

>Agreed, but you gotta work on that name, maybe shorten to SSARS?

-Eh, I could be talked into it-

"Something's amiss."

-What? How?-

Twilight opens the chamber into the SSARS and the group finds Rarity and Applejack, chests heaving, exhausted, and looking way too satisfied while surrounded by dozens of Spike simulacrums.

[Do what you must, darling... We have already won...]

PROBABLY NON CANON
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"Like a frenzied horse that is driven, a plague wind shrieked across the boarder. Pandemonium, wailin', the stench o' carnage fills the air. The dead cannot be returned, the hands o' time cannot be turned back."

"Applejack, please stop reveling in your newly found sophistry and GET YOUR FAMILY UNDER CONTROL!" Celestia screamed while Applebloom ran up and down the table searching for some apple-related foods that weren't cake, Granny Smith was 'having a flashback' and now pelting food at random ponies, screaming something about some war she never had been part of, and Big Macintosh reading out the Communist Manifesto to the servants.

"So... is this why you never involved your family in your royal duties?" spike asked.

His answer was Applejack mashing her face into her plate and a defeated "Eeyup."
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>42
"Lyra"
~~~~~
"Okay, finished with your portrait!"

>... What the fuck is this?

"It's you! As a human! Changeling... Thing."

>Well... Do humans have chitin? I guess it's okay then, actually more armor than I'm wearing-

"Nope, skin!"

>... I'm not paying for this shit.
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