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Super Dead Mario World
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By Devon and Emmanuel


Do you think that buying games from a yard sale is an amazing idea? Well, guess what, bozo, WROOOOOONG!!!!!! They are going to be hacks and they can kill you! Let me tell you my story on how I died because of this!

Once day, I walking around my neihborhood, and I noticed that my neighbor was having a yard sale, so I went to go check it out. I checked out the table in the front of the yard and I saw a super nintendo cartridge. What was weird aobut it though was that it did not have a label, but rather it just said "mario world" in black and red marker with a little splash of hot pink. It looked really really creepy like someone bled on it. So I bought it. It kinda reminded me of the time I bought a creepy mario NES cartiridge from a creepy flea market that got me killed from a toad mauling me, but actually I didnt die, but rather toad just ate off my penis. Luckily, i found a penis growth juice from a thrift shop so I was able to grow it back. But, I digress. I bought the game for $4 and brought it home. I just rmemebered that my friend named Ron has a Super Nintendo, so I flew out to missouri to visit him. Once I got there, I Blew into the cartridge, and stuck that sucker in and what did I get? Well, it was the super mario world title screen but there were no words and there was blood on the ground. There was also blood on the sky. And mario wasnt moving, he was just laying there with blood all over his penis. That really scared me, so I pressed start. Obviously, I was not playing as mario, I was actually playing as luigi. The map seemed normal, so I went to yosh's island 1, and what did I get? the level seemed normal at first, but then when I stomped on the banzai bill the music got super distorted. and the sound effects also got distorted. the screen also got weird and distorted. That really scared me. When, I got a mushroom, the music became super loud. Luckily, I was prepared for this event, as I had soundproof headphones just in case it was another one of those creepypasta games. Turns out though, I had the wrong pair, they were just regular headphones, so my ears bled out and I became deaf so I could not hear anything. I was so scared that I peed myself. So, I beat the first level. But, the screen did not black out like normal, but instead Luigi went into a pipe with the unused pirahna plant and it KILLED him! Blood went everywhere, on the ground, the pipe, the sky, everywhere. That really frightened me. But, then all of a sudden, I went back to the map with the level beaten since I had crossed the end of level marker, but I was not playing a Luigi, but now I was WARIO! That is really weird. I went into the switch palace to activate the yellow switch blocks. But, as I went into the level, the background became to hypnotize me and it forced my hand into grabbing the manual that came with the game and I opened once of the pages, and then I pulled off my jeans and undergarments, and then pulled back my foreskin all the way. I inserted the opened page firmly between the lips of my peehole and slowly scraped it through. The sharp pages became to tear away at the cells of my penis tip and soon enough, it began to bleed everywhere. I was scared and I felt immense pain. So, I continued into the switch palace and when I pressed the yellow switch, reznor appeared out of nowhere and began to MAUL wario! That really freaked me out. I went back to the map screen and all the yellow switch blocks were still activated since I pressed that switch. But, now since Wario was dead, I was now Waluigi. I decided to go to yoshi's island 2 and this is when things got super scary. The level was super messed up. Spikes with blood covered in them were everywhere, so people who went into this level before died here. There were pipes everywhere covered in blood with pirahna plants with their teeth covered in blood so people here before got eaten by the pirahna plants. The sky went back to that hypnotizing pattern, so it made go go into the kitchen, and I firmly stick paper cut penis into the panini press and slammed the top right onto my penis. It began to burn away at my foreskin and it hurt really bad and it scared me. I then snapped out of it and looking at the grill marks on my penis really sacred me so I tried to get rid of them with a table saw. IT did not make anything better at all, instead of grill marks, there were blood splatters everywhere. It really really really frightened me now! But, then, all of a sudden, I looked back at the TV, and I saw TOAD! That motherfucker from the hacked mario NES game that bit off my penis in the past. I saw him mauling Waluigi and then I just blacked out. 2 hours later after I blacked out, I woke up and then I saw toad coming out of the screen and then he began to maul me!!!! Toad puts my penis on a plate and eats it right up. He then came back and ate the rest of my body and it only took 3 seconds for me to die. Then, I was dead.

So, folks, NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BUY GAMES FROM A YARD SALE, THEY ARE HACKED AND HAUNTED AND THEY WILL HYPNOTIZE YOU INTO MUTILATING YOUR GENITALS AND IT WILL HURT REALLY REALLY BAD AND IT WILL SCARE YOU AND THEN AFTER THAT YOU WILL DIE! SO PLEASE, TAKE MY ADVICE, AND NEVER DO THIS EVERRRR!!!!!

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