Thread 109: Stories 16-30

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>Daw
"???"
~~
She looked both ways before opening the door to the captain's office, mostly out of habit, partly out of fear she would somehow be denied access without Pommel to let her in.
>Let's see what you get up to in this 'ere office...
She trotted over to the desk, noting how organized everything was, clean, crisp, not a paper out of place. The drawers simply held more quills and files, the only thing of note was a small chest in the right hoof corner of the room.
>well lookie here...
There was no lock on it, no traps, nothing she was used to when dealing with chests of any sort, so when she saw what was inside...
>ah'm dreamin, ah am
She hefted the object out of the chest and closed it, flapping her wings, she floated above it, holding the object in her hooves carefully, before putting it in her mouth
>mmmm
she wrapped her tongue around the bit in her mouth, feeling it's every contour, every stud, every edge, before gently spitting it back into her hooves
>it's bloody perfect, how'd 'e know?
she turned it over in her hooves again, it was truly a work of art
>did 'e 'ave the dragon make it?
SLAM
>EEEEP
she dropped the object from her hooves, having to dive and catch it in her mouth again
"Huh? Oh, hello!"
Daw spit the object out of her mouth
>...hi?
"I was looking for Bronze Pommel, I hear he's hiring for the guard?"
>ah guess? ya'll have to ask 'em when he gets back, 'e's on a mission for Princesss Applejack
"Oh, okay! bye miss pirate?"
>...how'd 'e know I was a pirate?
"Well you've got a sword in your hooves and a bandana on your head, what else am I supposed to think?"
He closed the door, leaving a thoroughly confused pirate pegasus in his wake.

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OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~~

>...You ever worry we'll get... caught?

"Oh, Shiny!... That's half the fun."

>Is it? Think a lot of ponies would freak out if they ever saw you like this.

"Oh, pshaw, I used to play russian roulette all the time for vacations. If anything, this is a step up!"

>You sure?

"Shiny, I absolutely do not care if ANYONE finds out about-"

'HAH!'

"BAILBAILBAILBAILCODEREDCODEREDCODERD-"

TELEPORT!

>....

'The fuck is her problem?'

>There is no psychiatrist alive who could figure that one out.

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OOCO
>AJ
"??"
~~~~

>... Hrm, ain't quite right yet. Maybe if Ah'... Nah, then Ah'd lose out over here. But mayyyybe if... No, that ain't gonna work either.... Maybe...

"Hey, AJ?"

>GAH!... Dash, what are you doing here!?

"Just had a question."

>O-oh? Well, shoot then.

".. Don't you normally freak out?"

>Nah. That's the biggun. What do Ya need?

"... What are you working on?"

>NOTHING!

"It just looks like normal paperwork."

>CAUSE IT IS!

"... Wait, does that say-"

>NO!

"It looks like it does."

>DOESN'T!

"... Really, AJ?"

>YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME!

"Hey, least I never made OnO characters while I was supposed to be working."

>You shut up! How am Ah' supposed ta beat Twilight with mah crap characters! They'll get killed in seconds!

"All I see is backstory!"

>Er, she gives big bonuses for backstory. Ah need the boost!

"Can't do that on your own free time?"

>... Free time?

"Uh... Now I feel bad."

>...

"Look, just... Just sign this."

>Fine! Now git!

"Fine, fine, jeez... Not like I care about your nerd stuff anyway..."

>... Maybe workin on mah adventure book in here wasn't the best idea... But dang it, Ah'm almost done writing chapter thirty five! Soon, little Applina, yer gonna be a real book!... That Ah will never release because Ah'd die of shame... Oh! Held back by her own shame! That's a great thing fer' her ta' overcome! Pen, don't fail me now!

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 >29
"MM"
'Ponyville'
~~~~

>...that is a big crowd.

"Not supposing you have more cheese snacks and wine?"

>I... do not think that shall cut it on this day.

'WE HAVE QUESTIONS!'

>Alright! Much do I know what thou art all thinking, is she being secretly infiltrated or mind controlled, and the answer will surprise thee!

'So you are controlling her!?'

'That would be very surprising!'

>Oh... well, then the answer will not surprise thee at all!

'SO YOU ARE!?'

>But... but thou just said-

'We said it would've been a surprise before. How would it still be a surprise after you told us?'

'So if you are about to tell us and it's a surprise, and after it's a surprise we're not surprised anymore, then it can't be that you're not surprising us, because we'd be surprised in that case.'

>...Mine eyes have begun to cross.

"That makes a frightening amount of logic."

>That thee would say that makes me question if I ever knew thee at all.

'Soooo-'

>So I'm not controlling anyone! I didn't even want to come down here initially, I was thrown!

'Like...'

>LITERALLY thrown! Through the air!

'And you... survived?'

>I hit a haybale.

'That... that doesn't seem like it would save you-'

>I AM NOT CONTROLLING ANYONE!

'Then what are you and the mayor doing all the time when you run off?'

'VERY suspicious!'

"We're helping dead orphans find peace and happiness!"

>...

'...'

"...We are!"

>I know we are, but there is no way-

'OHHHHHHH!'

'That makes so much more sense now!'

'Why didn't you just start with that!?'

>...

"...Roll with it."

>As if I have a choice...

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>Dash
"Pinkie'
~~~

>I'M SCREWED!

"Congratulations! Who's the lucky stallion?"

>...

"Or mare, not judging!"

>...

"Unless you don't share details, then all the judgement!"

>...

"...Wellll?"

>I MEAN they're going to put it together!

"Well, yeah, that's generally how the process goes."

>PINKIE!

"Well I would hope he would start with that!"

>...

"..."

>...I'm not finding that funny.

"Of course you're not."

>This is serious.

"Super serious."

>They're going to crucify me!

"Wow, Dashie, didn't know you were into that kinda stuff! What's the safeword?"

>...

"Is it banana?"

>...

"It should be banana. Bananas are funny to say, and if he's laughing he's not doing the thing you're not wanting him to do!"

>...

"I see a smiiiiilllleeee."

>...of course, it's Pinkie.

"And she knows how to bring the smiles!... Except in the bedroom."

>...

"My daddy will kill everything."

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>Jugglejack
"Canterlot"
'???'
~~~~

>...Oh no...

His worst fears, confirmed.

There they were, in front of the embassy. So, so many of them. A mob, as far as the eye can see.

All gathered together, with one simple thing in mind.

"RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!"

What the fuck that thing was, he had no idea, but it was probably bad!

>Acty!

His buddy, his one real true buddy in the whole world, was trapped. He knew Actarius could handle himself... mostly. Well, he could take a lot of hits before someone else came along to help, or the problem solved itself at least.

Admittedly, this wasn't helpful in mob tactics, but that's where he was at.

>No, no no no no!

He was trapped, he was alone, he was probably scared...

He needed his jugglebuddy, now, more than ever in his whole life, and that included that time he was homeless and probably on the streets!

Or at least equivalent!

>But how...

There was no opening, no way to make it though. Even the air above was awash with pegasi, no way for him to fly. If he went straight, he would only be absorbed by the mob who thankfully had not noticed him.

Thankful, mostly based around the fact that he could hear something bout 'goddamn lings' in that rabble. That was a thing to be thankful for.

Couldn't go down.

Couldn't go up.

There was no...

>Wait...

Down is not right.

Up is not right.

...Both.

>...it's the only way.

He tucked, he hugged his legs to his chest, and...

He leapt.

>DADADADADA!

The crowd became a frenzy of confusion as hooves shot up or down depending, and he transcended it. All of it.

As he bounced up and down, left and right, side to side...

He had transcended everything.

>DADA DADA DADADADA!

He bounced, he hopped, he ricocheted all around through the panicked crowd that hit him as they would any other ball. In their fear, in their confusion, they never once tried to stop him. Nor could they.

He had become beyond stopping.

>DA DA DADADADA!

He neared it, the embassy, and he reached his apex, his perfection. He had finished it. No matter how they tried to stop him, and lo did they try, it was useless.

He had become it.

He had become the ball.

That only left one thing.

>DADADADADA-

SWHOOP!

'...JJ!?'

He uncurled from his state, looking around to the interior of the building he recognized so well. Looking over, to the stallion he recognized so well, albeit with a look of bafflement uncommon to him. A stallion looking all around at the room sealed tight, before he once again locked eyes with the most peaceful changeling the world had ever seen.

'How... how the heck did you get in here!?'

The answer came to him as easily as breath, as simple as the turning of the tides.

He was at peace.

>...Fucking holes.

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OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>... It's quiet.

"Too quiet."

>Dead silent, even.

"As dead as the night."

>As quiet as a mouse.

"As nightly as a quiet."

>...what.

"I ran out of idioms."

>Right... but where do you think she is?

"I don't know. She normally tries to get in through the lock right about now."

>Should we just... enjoy it?

"That would be the smart thing to do."

>It's what we came in for, after all.

"...Kind of takes some of the thrill out of it if she's not trying to break in."

>Little bit of the jump if we'll get caught is gone, yeah.

"..."

>...

"..."

>"WHO CARES!"

BLUB!

~~~

'No no no, she can't beat the dang queen o' the roaches like that! It's gotta be smart, full o' action and common sense!... Did Ah' just hear a splash? Better question, do Ah' care?'

BLUB!

'...NOPE! Now, how does she get outta this one...'

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 >32
"???"
~~~

>...You know, I feel better. Yeah! Speaking with Twenty Nine, and all of that, that just makes me feel... better! Alive, even! Yes! This is a good thing! Things are good in my life. I have my brother and sister, I have friends, I have a life... you know what? I get too down on myself sometimes. What I need to do is enjoy more in my life. Yep. Enjoy it, and not doomsay every other minute. This is a brand new day!

"LOOK! A CHANGELING!"

"GET HIM!"

>Oh, are we giving out hugs? Hugs for all-AHHHH THESE ARE NOT HUGS SOMEONE HELP!... I BET THIS IS CHRYSALIS'S FAULT!

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Anonymous Wed 25 Nov 2015 23:52:37 No.25550825 Report
Quoted By: >>25551218
>Spike
"??"
~~~

>Where the frick is she!? Come on, she should not be that hard to find! She's so loud I could hear her from the moon! I could see her ego from space! How, the FUCK, can I not find Diamond Tiara!?

"..."

>...You're right behind me, aren't you?

"No."

>...wha...

He turns around.

There's nothing there.

>...huh.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[DEater]
~~~~
>Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I just got new art! Now for our main segment...THE HUNGRY GAMES!!!

"I'm the pretty one <3"

'I'm the grumpy one.'

>And I'm the crazy one...RUUUN!
A giant tiger like claw swipes at them.

[Graah I hate fast food!]
Smashes down on DT, but finds out it's a mannequin, while the real one goes another direction sticking her tongue out.

'Bleeeh'

[Why you stupid brat!]

>My house isn't fast!

Looks at Pinkie's house.
[Hm I suppose.]

>NOW BEFORE HE EATS IT! POW POW CANNON!
"RAINING ARROWS!"
'MISSILE BARRAGE!'
*BOOM BOOM BOOM POOSH POOSH POOSH FWISH FWISH FWISH*

The DEater eats up the cannon shots and missile barrages, but the raining arrows hit their mark from above. He falls to the ground and sighs.
[You're making me work for this...AREN'T YOU!?!]
His eyes glows red as he begins sucking them up in a big whirlwind.

>AHHHHH!!!

"Wings don't fail me now!"
Gets sucked.
"FRAZZLE DAZZLE!!!"

'Save me Sexy!'
Anchors TBDRILATU into the ground and shoots 2 grappling hooks allowing Pinkie and Cadence to grab on.

"WHY DID I JOIN THIS CLUB?!"

>BECAUSE WE'RE PRETTY IN PINK!

"...THAT SEEMS ARBITRARY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT!"

>YOU STAY BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS RIGHT? PINKS NEED TO STAY TOGETHER!

'I'D SAY WE'RE MORE LIKE YOUR HOSTAGES AND WE HAVE STOCKHORSE SYNDROME!'
The DEater rushes forward

>DO THE THING!

'I KNOW!'
The DEater chomps, but finds about 100 C4 light up underneath him.
'Sweet dreams.'
They all explode at once.
*BOOOOOOM*
Everyone ends up flying in different directions. It takes a while for the smoke to clear.

"...ugh...was that many necessary?"

'...Overkill...is best kill.'

"...where's Pinkie?"
Pinkie struggles to climb out of the DEater's mouth.

>Unngh...my only regret...is that I never got to carpet bomb Canterlot...with confetti.

[...*SLURP GULP*]

"'PINKIE!!!'"

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>Breaburn
"Silver Star"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~~~~

The mail pegasi had dropped it off just a minute ago. Just a single minute. News, straight from canterlot, about a shocking reveal that had happened way over yonder in the Empire.

>You seein' this?

Hard to believe their eyes when they saw it. Had to re-read it, double check it, just to be sure. But, sure enough, looks like a changeling had been pretending to be the princess for some time to take over the goings on of the Empire for quite a while.

"Well, Ah'll be..."

Being this was a Canterlot newspaper, of course it went into all the ways how this meant that their safety was compromised, how this meant that any changeling could be worming their way into the upper reaches of their society and taking over, and without a single bit of mind control. They could be anywhere, doing anything, gaining trust and friendship and then assuming control of certain things. Like building roads, or placement of buildings.... or safety.

>Huh. Guess that changein' folk got in pretty good, didn't she?

"Ya' know, this here means..."

Both heads raised slowly, locking in on a particular member of their town. A new member, to be sure, one who had been there for only a short while, but who had managed to win over quite a lot of folks. He sure didn't seem to know much, didn't seem to ask for much or get much. Never made demands, even though he was always runnin' round and makin' this town the safest in Equestria.

>He sure doesn't seem to need much, does he?

"Nope."

>Ah' wonder...

'So then I- I mean, Firejack says to the bandits, 'stick 'em up!'... Get it? Cause bandits say that normally when they get robbing, but this time the hero said it! It's a flip! A... it means it did it the opposite way.'

The buffalo next to him cocked an eyebrow, clearly not quite finding that whole story as hilarious as the changeling in a fake mustache clearly did, but too polite to tell him.

It had been his idea, shockingly, to invite the buffalo over for dinner. Not for any special occasion, not for anything at all, he had just gotten it into his roasted little brain that today was special and everybody should get together to have a big meal. That was shocking enough, that the buffalo agreed so readily was even moreso, but it turns out that 'Firejack' had convinced them, and they owed him a favor or two.

[How do you know this story if you were not there anyway?]

His eyes went so comically wide, darting left and right in a frenzy.

'Err... dunno what'cha mean gov-'

A playful hoof booped him on the ear, stopping him from going off into another badly accented ramble.

{He heard about it from a bandit who was locked up in the jail with the Sheriff.}

His goofy smile would have lit up the sky, even without his usual flames.

'Right! That!'

Never fooled for a second, that was obvious if they were pony or buffalo. But, Braeburn supposed, only one of them had to be fooled, and he seemed none the wiser.

>...wonder iffin' we're gonna get any rolls before the basket gets down here.

"Wouldn't bet on it, that there buffalo can put it away."

[I'm on a diet!]

The whole table laughed at that, about as convinced as, say, they were that the fake mustache was going to stay on for the rest of the meal.

'I believe you!'

Somehow, that only made them laugh harder.

"...Heh. Poor city folk."

>Ahhh, they'll figure it out. Mah' cousin is over there, she'll set 'em straight... Everyone! Can Ah' have yer' attention please!

As one, they all looked to him, waiting eagerly for what was to come.

>Now, this here year has seen a lotta changes for AAAPPPPLLEEEOOOSA!... Sorry... But the biggest change is we got ourselves some new friends, don't we? They don't look like us, sure... but they're as good a friend can be, and we're glad ta' have 'em. Ain't that right!?

The hoops and hollers of the western folk were as loud as can be.

>Now let's all eat!

They dug in, hungry as country folk could be, laughing as they passed around food and story. It wasn't the first time they had done something like this, but this time felt special. This time was different.

'So then I-Firejack says... ICE to meet you! Get it!? So they would be expecting ice! But it wasn't! What a flip!'

{Ha ha!}

[...You ponies are confusing.]

{Ah' thought it was funny!}

This time, they had a whole new species at the table, and a whole new friend to join in the feast. They didn't care what he looked like, what he was supposed to be, who he could have been, they didn't even care if he was as sharp as a sack of bricks. He was a part of this town, he was in here now.

And that just plain felt right.

'...Wait, did he mean me?'

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NON-CANON
>AJ
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>....

"..."

>...Ah' know it's their custom, but-

"Just grin and bear it."

>Ah'll do that... but Ah' ain't gonna eat that turkey.

"...Fair enough."

>...Didn't they almost wipe out-

"Try not to think too much about what came later."

>...Minotaurs are weird.

'HEY!'

>YA' ARE!

"Applejack with politics, everyone."

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NC
>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
[18]
{42}
^2^
~Celestia~
(Spitfire)
=Sombra=
+Mane-Iac+
~~~~~~~

>Alright, everyone say what they're thankful for!

"I'm thankful they didn't riot."

>...Dark. Chrysalis? Lighten the mood?

'I'm thankful they didn't riot.'

>Good job, this is why we keep you. Eighteen?

[I'm thankful they didn't riot and kick me out.]

>At least you're mixing it up. Forty Two?

{I'm thankful I didn't have to break their stupid faces when they tried to riot.}

>This is why you're Caddy's favorite. Celestia?

~I'm thankful I didn't have to watch them riot.~

>Beacon of sunshine, that's what you are. Spitfire?

(I'm thankful I didn't have to deal with a riot three months into my job.)

>Hiring you? Best choice, that's what it was. Sombra?

=I'm thankful I didn't have to see another riot in my time.-

>At least you're mostly gloomy anyway... Mane-Iac! This should be great!

+AHHHHHAHAHAHAH! I am THAANNNNKKKKFUL that those ACURSED POWER PONIES didn't show up and BATTLE IN THE STREETS!.. That would've been a pain!+

>I.... I don't... Two! My bubbly little Two, you've got something for Shiny, right? Something to be thankful for? Share!

^I'm thankful for ShinyandCaddyandNot-momandTeenyandFortyTwoandAuntielestiaandSpittyandSombyandManeyandAuntieTwilightandAuntieApplejackandauntiePinkieandDashandRarityandFluttershyandmissesGlitzdownthewayandallthecookiesIgetwhenIgoseeStarsprinklesandallthesuperdupermegawonderfulawesomethingsIgotsinceIgotherecauseyer'allthebestestestestfamilyinthewholewideworld!^

"'[{(~=+...+=~)}]'"

>That about sums it up.

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NC
>spike
'2'

>er...you forget...anyone?

'Did I!?'

>...

'...'

>happy and upbeat spike, we're being happy and upbeat now...

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OOCO
>Daw
"Pommel"
~~~
>MMPH! MPH! MMMMPH!

The training dummy she was currently destroying did not respond to her attempts at banter through the sword, but she liked trying anyways.

"Daw? What are you doing out here?"

>PTOO! I found dis 'ere sword in yer office, ah was just takin' it fer a spin.

"You found a sword in my office? but I don't..."

>Hm?

"OH! Oh..."

>Speak up Pommy me lad, whatsa matter?

"That sword was supposed to be your birthday present, it wasn't quite done yet..."

>Oh Pom! ya shuldn't 'ave! ah love it, ah really do! It fits me perfect!

"That's the point, Daw, but like I said, it wasn't finished, it was supposed to be a surprise"

>well? what's left to do with it? we can do it together!

She brought him in for a hug, wings included

>spendin' time with you makes a better gift than just a sword, Pommy"

He smiled, and pecked her on the forehead.

"I guess it does, Daw, I guess it does"

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