An Anomaly

	It had been a few days since I had discovered the Godhead and separated myself from the rest of, well, everything really! I don’t even really know how I did it, to be honest. It was like, umm. Like…  Like an epiphany, I guess. I was walking around in the woods, as I’m known to do, because it was a pretty damn nice day out and I decided to get some fresh air for the first time in months. I think I was thinking about my brother in college, or maybe Adventure Time or Skyrim. Either way, I guess I came to the conclusion that somehow I wasn’t really here, you know? It was almost like I was part of something bigger that I wasn’t seeing. I was suddenly aware of everything, almost all at once.

	The Godhead didn’t speak to me because he’s asleep, and since I’m part of the Godhead, I guess I’m still asleep, too? But, like dreaming. Those weird, uh, lucid! Lucid’s the word. I guess now that I figured it out, I’m lucid dreaming, so I can do whatever I want! It’s kind of weird, you know, know how you interact with the rest of the universe. Like, I totally couldn’t wrap my head around the thought that I was like part of everyone and they were also a part of me. As soon as I ascended I heard of a buncha other people that tried this before that just kinda vanished into the aether because they couldn’t handle it. I dunno, I just kinda accepted everything like it was and then moved on. Sweet and all, but I didn’t really feel all that different.

	Aside from the fact that I’m totally a god now. I can do shit that I only dreamed of like last week and stuff. Not  that I plan on abusing this power or anything. Nuhuh, that’d be dumb as all getout. Of course with a revelation like this, I just had to tell my boyfriend all about it. We met at his house to hang out and maybe make out a little, but I started to tell him all about what I had figured out.

	“So, basically what I’m saying is that I’m, I mean we’re all part of this thing called the Godhead, right?”

	“Right…”

	“And ‘cause of this, we’re all just going around in the structure of the dream world.” I paused to take a drink from my cup of tea, “But if you realize that you’re part of the Godhead, you can control it! Like sleepwalking or something!”

	“Sounds more like lucid dreaming.”

	“Oh, duh!” I smacked myself on the forehead, “That’s the word. We’re lucid dreaming!”

	“Mhm.” I frowned. He wasn’t buying it.

	“You’re not buying it.”

	“Gee, Nat, what made you think that?” He said, drab like he always is, that butt. I gave him a push.

	“Oh come on, why’s it so hard to believe?”

	“Because it sounds like you’re high or something. I mean, come on, that’s retarded.” God, he’s being such a dick today! I gave him another push.

	“It’s not like your ideas have ever been any better! And fuck you, this is totally real.”

	“Uh huh. You sure you didn’t just watch The Matrix and pretend that this happened?” He says, not even looking up from Bulletstorm. What kind of guy doesn’t even look his girlfriend in the eye when they’re talking? God, he does the same thing sometimes when we’re doing it, too. He’s got issues, I swear.

	“No! This is real!” I say, flailing my arms a little bit, which reminds me of this thing I saw the other day that totally made me mash my keyboard I was having so many feels. Was it that one Arnie movie? Fuck it, doesn’t matter. Back on track. Gotta play hardball with this boy.

	“Yeah, well, if it’s real, then why don’t you go around ending wars and shit?”

“’Cause duh, Beavis, I’m not going to abuse my powers. That’d be stupid as hell.”

	“Okay, Maxie Zeus, whatever you say.” Maxie Zeus? Who the hell? Probably a video game character or something from Spiderman. God, Tim’s such a nerd. I slumped down and crossed my arms in a pout, and Tim grinned in victory. I sat there for a few moments feeding the wolves before I decided what I should do about this. I giggled, which at least made him cock and eyebrow.

	“What now, Nat? Are you gonna whisk us away to Mount Olympus or something?” He says. I perk up.

	"I was just gonna zap all my clothes off, but that’s a much better idea!” I replied. He laughs, and I think he was just about to say what the hell before I snapped my fingers and moved us a few thousand miles across the Pacific. Atlantic, fuck, Atlantic. We were sitting on a really uncomfortable stone ridge surrounded by clouds, and Tim totally started flipping the fuck out.

	“THE FUCK?!? YOU, WHAT, I?” Oh my God, he’s flailing his arms around. What a dork, “HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?”

	I giggled and grabbed him by the leg, “Don’t fall, Captain Ahab. Long way down from here!” I cracked a smile and snapped my fingers again, taking us back to the living room of his townhouse.

	It took a while for him to calm down. Thank God (Should I be thanking me now?) his parents weren’t home. They would have had a conniption. It took even longer for him to really understand what had happened. Hell, I didn’t really know what I did for some of that.

	“So, are gods still allowed to have boyfriends?” He asked as we were cuddling on his bed a few hours later. He was transfixed on the ceiling fan and I was busy trying to find a place to rest my head on his shoulder. God he’s so freaking bony.

	“Don’t see why not,” I murmured, “Didn’t Zeus fuck like a zillion bitches all the time?”

	“Yeah, I guess he did.” He started stroking my hair and I couldn’t help but grin. I propped myself up on one arm and looked him in the eyes. He’s so calm and dreamy all the time, and recent events probably aren’t helping that.

	“So, what was that you called me earlier?”

	“Who, Maxie Zeus?”

	“So… Did he get all the bitches all the time?” He smiled at that. I flopped up onto his chest, planting my face at the base of his neck.

	"Didn’t read that issue too far, but I think you’d do a much better job.”

	“Real charmer, ain’tcha.” I giggled, and he tugged at one of my belt loops.

	"Nat, I think I might need a little more convincing that this is all actually happening."

	"Well... I think I could be convinced to go with my original plan."

	"I think it's in your best interest to convert the unfaithful."

	I think I’m going to wait until I graduate, at least high school. Maybe college, too, if that works out and stuff. After a few years I’ll probably be able to give this omnipotence thing a real try.