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- asriel's not doing too well
- you expected him to have a great time, he's always liked scary stuff, but...
- there's a castle nearby, nothing that fancy or big, really just a couple old buildings and a lot of surrounding land
- you're not sure if it's nationally protected like a park, privately owned and operated, or somewhere inbetween
- every year it opens up on halloween for about what you’d expect
- haunted tours, magicians and fire jugglers, the hedge maze gets decked out with fake cobwebs and some people in costumes
- he held your hand a little tightly on the way to the maze, but he was adamant he was alright
- that went out the window after the guy jumped out
- the gimmick is simple: a guy in a costume "chases" you down the final corridor, making sure he never quite catches up
- maybe it’d scare a kid, or someone with a phobia of whatever they’re dressed up as that year
- asriel bolted and dragged you stumbling along with him, startling the attendant outside
- taking a second to rest after your hand slips loose, making sure you hadn’t pulled anything getting yanked around like that, he kept on pacing
- away from the maze, away from the pathways and people, off into the fields
- you have to chase after him in the dark, and find him sitting on a rock just barely in range of lanternlight
- he's shaking
- muttering things to himself
- "I'm sorry..."
- "I wasn't myself, I never meant to..."
- "It's over. It's over. We're all okay."
- oh
- oh no
- he's having, well he's definitely having something
- you're no expert on episodes or flashbacks, but he hasn't even noticed you
- his eyes look glassy, unfocused
- something is wrong, and you don't know what to do
- slowly, you kneel down next to him, tentatively reaching your hand to his shoulder
- he flinches at the contact, but it seems to snap him out of it
- he looks terrified
- "...I'm sorry for ruining our night out."
- he doesn't usually beat himself up like that, he's always so optimistic, so confident everything will turn out alright
- it's like flicking a lightswitch
- soothing words, stroking his back, you don't want to push your luck by getting too cozy, don't want him to feel trapped or cornered
- he takes the initiative, all but leaping into you
- not saying anything now, letting his body do the talking with every uncertain breath and shiver
- you ask him if he wants to talk about it
- "Never."
- there's something in his voice, like he's not happy with that answer
- you don't push him, just do your best to soothe him
- eventually, he seems comfortable standing, and you start to make your way back to the courtyard
- he's not trying to hold back now, his hand constricting the bloodflow of yours
- you wouldn't dream of asking him to ease up
- you hole up at a table in the corner of the courtyard, just in time to hide under an awning and avoid the onset of rain
- you get up to grab a drink from the cafe, and he bolts up to come with you, not wanting to be left alone
- you grab some ice cream while you're there, he loves the stuff
- it's calm in your corner, everybody who didn't bring a coat or umbrella scurrying indoors or back to their cars
- it's a lot more private now - you turn to give him a quick kiss, and he stops you
- "I'm..."
- the moment stretches on, his hand doesn't move from your chest, holding you at a distance
- finally, he seems to land on "You deserve better."
- it's all you can do not to laugh at the suggestion
- he's the most wonderful person you've ever met
- he senses you didn't take his words to heart, and with a lot of struggle, he starts to open up
- it starts off slow, talking about his childhood
- the buttercups, the plan
- the determination machine
- it’s more than you can really brace for
- there's an edge in his voice as he describes the things he's done, uncertain flickers of pride mixed in
- it's the acid dripping from him as he mutters out "Idiot." that really unbalances you
- you've never heard him sound like that, and you can tell it’s aimed inwards
- he hid it all so well
- you’re not sure what to make of it
- it sounds unbelievable, but before long you figure out what you want
- you want to help him
- whether he’s delusional or truthful and traumatized, it’s tearing at him all the same
- your asriel, your wonderful, loving azzy
- burning up
- it’s awful to think about
- he's shrinking into himself in the silence you’ve left, hunching up, almost on the verge of tears
- you know what he expects out of you now
- it's not for you to lean over and kiss him anyway
- he doesn't really seem to parse it properly, at first
- you're wondering if you should do it again, before he melts into you
- soft laughter, quiet tears, and more shaking
- it's different this time, though
- he's releasing tension, not building it
- you share the moment, and the next, and the next
- you share a few more hours peoplewatching into the morning, another few on the train home and on the walk back, and about 15 minutes of stripping down and brushing your teeth before you both collapse
- you share the night, contented knowing you'll share the morning too
- asriel has nightmares
- he never talks about them, he tries not to acknowledge them at all, but they've woken you up pretty often
- you always try to comfort him, and now that he's opened up you're a lot more confident you know what to say
- but if he has them tonight, it doesn't stir you
- when you wake up next to him, he's smiling, calm and rested as can be
- you wouldn't trade the moment for the world
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