My Lord and My Lady

>Another day as the husband of the Princess of the Crystal Kingdom
>You're pretty sure that makes you a Prince, but everyone still just calls you Shining Armor
>You wake up to find Cadence already gone to attend to her responsibilities.
>After about ten minutes of lazing around you decide to crawl out of bed and clean yourself up
>Take a few moments to admire yourself in the mirror
>Are you putting on weight?
>Impossible.
>You're not as active as you were back in Canterlot, but you've take care to keep active.
>...though cutting back on some of those rich Crystal Pony dishes might be a good idea.
>After getting ready for the day, you trot your way down to the Royal Court.
>Cadence isn't supposed to have any meetings set up, so you're surprised when you see her speaking to a kneeling figure.
>"So, I was thinking that you could help me with this, 'problem' I've been having."
>The innuendo dripping from the pink pony's voice is enough to make your hair stand on end.
>This entire situation feels off to you, and so you force your way through, trotting quickly towards the throne.
>"Of course, Princess, it is my honor to serve y-"
>The figure pauses as Cadence notices your approach, her lips forming a delicate 'o' of surprise.
>It takes a moment, but he glances over his shoulder as well, causing the pink Princess to shuffle in obvious discomfort.
>"Sh-Shining, I didn't think you would be up yet, dear."
"Well, I am."
>Silence.
>You glance between your wife and her guest before setting your gaze on the Princess.



"So, do you mind telling me what's going on?"
>"Oh, yes!"
>Cadence's expression immediately brightens as she holds out her hoof in the direction of the stranger.
>"Shining Armor, I would like you to meet the new head of your guard detail."
>...
>What?
"What?"
>The stranger pulls back his hood and smiles.
>You're not quite sure how to describe him, as he's quite unlike anything you've ever seen.
>His face is flat and largely hairless, almost apelike in appearance.
>He stands and towers over you as he approaches, before dropping to roughly eye level with you and staring at the ground.
>"Anonymous, my lord, it is my delight to be at the service of you and the Princess."
>...
>What?
>You give your wife a curious look, but she can only smile as she waves you on.
"Uh, okay...?"
>The creature remains in his bowed over position for a while longer, until Cadence clears her throat.
>"I believe my husband and I need to discuss a few private matters.  Would you mind waiting outside for him?"
>"Of course, Princess Cadenza."
>Anonymous rises again and turns, bowing his head to the alicorn princess before exiting the room.
>As the door slams shut behind him, you jerk your eyes towards your spouse.
"Wh-what the heck is that!?"
>Donning a far too cute smile, Cadence tosses her mane over her shoulder and chuckles.
>"Didn't I tell you?  He's the newest member of the Crystal Kingdom Guard."
"Not that!  Who is he?"
>Clearing her throat, Cadence uses her magic to pull a letter from beside her throne.
>Squinting slightly, she wets her lips, re-reads a few lines and then places the letter back where it was earlier.
>"That was Anonymous, a human from another world.  He came highly recommended by both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for his work as a guard for Equestria's delegates."



>A member of the guard that you don't know?
>Have you really been away from Canterlot for that long?
>Bringing a hoof to your head, you sigh and scowl back at your wife.
"But, why is he my guard?  I don't need a guard!"
>Giving you a pitying look that would seem perfectly in place on your mother's face, Cadence tuts and shakes her head.
>"Darling, please don't make a scene."
"I'm not making a scene!"
>You snap your mouth shut as soon as the words escape.
>All right, maybe you are making a bit of a scene, but still!
>You're a grown stallion, you don't need a guard!
"I don't need a guard, and beside that, he's not even a pony!"
>With another sigh, your wife shakes her head.
>"Shiny, Shiny... do you remember what happened before our wedding?  With Chrysalis?"
"W-well..."
>Leaning forward a little, Cadence frowns as she brings up the seemingly perpetual sore spot.
>"If you had someone on staff who knew you personally, they might have realized that you were acting out of sorts."
"But that's not..."
>Staring up at the ceiling, Cadence brings up a hoof and taps it against the throne a few times.
>"And then we may have been able to avert the Changeling Invasion all together."
>You're slipping.
>You have to push back!
"B-But!"
>Unfortunately, Cadence is having none of that.
>Clearing her throat, she cuts you off and continues.
>"And the entire ordeal with Sombra was an utter fiasco.  If Anonymous had been there to meet the Elements of Harmony, you would have been able to access your magic, and together we would have been able to keep up the shield protecting the Crystal Kingdom and King Sombra never would have breached the Crystal Palace in the first place."
>Shuffling your weight from one hoof to another, you stare at the well polished floor and struggle not to sneer at your reflection.
>When did you get so whipped?



>The clip-clop of hooves draws your attention forward to your wife as she approaches you.
>She wears a gentle smile and bumps her muzzle gently against yours.
>"Shining, please understand that I'm only doing this because I care about you.  If anything were to happen to you..."
>Her voice trails off and you feel a portion of your heart break off in your chest.
>And here you had been thinking that something untoward might have been happening.
>Giving a sheepish grin, you bump back against her, smiling wider afterwards.
"All right, Cadence.  But if this doesn't work out, you clear the next guard you want to assign by me, okay?"
>The cheery Cadence returns abruptly, clapping her hooves together and giving a small laugh.
>"Wonderful, I knew you would understand."
>With a flourish she turns, playfully hitting you in the face with her tail in the process, and trots back to the throne.
>"We'll keep a close eye on him, but please give this your best shot, okay honey?"
"R-right."
>You give a small smile and make your way to the door.
>The ape-man is waiting on the other side for you, and greets you with an expectant raise of his eyebrow.
>"Is everything well, my lord?"
>Hoo boy is that going to take some getting used to.
"Yeah, everything's fine.  Let's go, uh..."
>"Anonymous."
"Right..."
>What kind of name is Anonymous anyway?
"Well, let’s get going, there's a lot to do today."
>The creature grunts and nods his head as you make your way down the hall.
>As you chance a look back, you notice a wistful expression on the face of your guard as he looks back towards the throne room.
>You shudder as you feel your hackles go up again.
>It's nothing.
>It's nothing at all.
>...right?




>>>>>>

>It’s been a little over three weeks since you were called upon by Princess Cadenza to guard your lord, Shining Armor of the Crystal Kingdom.
>He’s certainly not what you would expect of a formal Captain of the Guard, especially with the praise that Princess Celestia heaped upon him.
>Though, marrying her niece may have had something to do with shifting him into a perpetually positive light.
>Of course, things certainly can’t be that bad.
>As they say back home, ‘Happy wife, happy life’.
>And Princess Cadenza certainly seems to be pleased most of the time.
>Not to mention the only thing that seems to concern your lord is his appearance, so things must not be that bad.
>He’s standing in front of the mirror again, trying to decide if he’s put on weight.
>Even in the short time that you’ve been here, it’s obvious that he has, but as it’s not your place to advise him, you figure it’s best to keep your mouth shut unless he asks.
>“Anonymous?”
>You shake your head and glance up that the young Prince.
>He’s staring at you through the mirror, wearing his usual relaxed smile.
>“I have a question for you.”
>Nodding your head, you smile and take a step closer.
“Of course, Lord Shining, it is my pleasure to serve.”
>“Then perhaps you can help me with an issue I’m having.  I’d like to take Cadence out for dinner tonight, but I’d like to keep it simple and memorable.  Any suggestions?”
>Though you arrived only a short time ago, by keeping your ear to the ground you’ve managed to pick up on some of the more out of the way places that the residents enjoy.
>Clearing your throat, you smile.
“I have an idea.  For the meal, I would have to suggest the Hayseed Loft, a small, intimate restaurant with a robust menu of dishes from all across Equestria and beyond.”
>Your lord purses his lips and nods.



>“Sounds good, but what about the memorable part?  We’ve been to the Loft before, but it’s not enough to spark Cadence’s imagination.”
>Grinning from ear to ear, you hold up a finger and continue.
“I thought you might say that, my lord.  Over the next three nights, there will be a number of shooting stars in the southern sky, according to Luna’s astronomers.  The hills at Millennial Park will provide an excellent location to soak in the vast wilderness stretching across the ground, and the brilliant stars in the sky.”
>The Prince stares at you for a moment longer, before allowing his lips to curl upwards in a broad smile.
>“That’s a pretty good idea, Anonymous.”
>His expression is infectious and you find yourself grinning as well.
>“How is it you keep track of all this information?”
“My role is to keep you from harm, Lord Shining, and prevention is a far better route than reaction.  In my attempts to avoid difficulties, I’ve managed to pick up on quite a lot of less important, but still applicable, information.”
>Your lord snorts smiles, turning back to his reflection.
>“Well that’s a relief.  Would see to sending word ahead that the Princess and I will be attending tonight?  And informing Cadence as well?”
>A quick nod has you bowing your head and backing towards the door.
“As you wish, my lord.”
>Shining Armor makes no attempt to hide his slight frustration that you continue to refer to him by his title, but says nothing and allows you to leave in peace.
>After informing the pegasus courier of the Royal Family’s dinner plans and sending her on her way, you meet with the Princess’ attendant to discuss what clothes they should wear tonight.



>The attendant, a pretty young mare who’s repeatedly tried to woo you, eventually relents in her flirting when she sees you won’t break before admitting that Princess Cadenza has a burgundy dress with gold trim that she’s been dying to wear to an event with her husband.
>Agreeing that you will both plan on the Princess wearing that dress, you bid her a good day and make your way back to the Prince.
>Unfortunately…
>“You want me to get dressed up for a night out with my wife?”
>Your lord looks shocked at the suggestion, as though the thought had never crossed his mind.
>Offering a pained smile, you make an exception to your usual role as silent protector and attempt to explain.
“Lord Shining, I believe it would be an excellent opportunity to be seen together with the Princess and promote the strength of the bond between the two of you.  I know for a fact that she is planning on wearing a-”
>Holding up his hoof, the white stallion huffs a little and closes his eyes.
>“Anonymous, must we really do this?  I’d much prefer to just go as I am.  Clothes are so… constricting.”
>Perhaps about his middle, certainly.
>By the grace of whatever deity watches over guards in this world, you hold your willful tongue and resist degrading your lord.
>Instead, you smile and nod your head.
“Of course, though might I suggest a burgundy tie at least?”
>Shining Armor rolls his eyes but eventually relents.
>Leaving it to the Prince to prepare himself for his date, you move to your quarters and attempt to make up for the style he will be lacking.
>While you lack any rich reds, you decide to go with a white shirt with gold cufflinks, maintaining distance from the Royal Couple while still appearing as a member of their party if anything should come up.



>At the appointed time, you return to the Prince’s changing room and knock.
>It takes a few moments, but Shining Armor eventually comes out wearing a bowtie, sloppily done and slightly off center.
>You adjust the tie quickly, much to your lord’s chagrin, but once it’s done he looks far more fashionable.
>Pausing, the Prince at last nods and smiles at you.
>“Excellent work, Anonymous.  Don’t feel like you have to wait up for us, all right?”
>...
>What?
“Pardon, my lord?  I thought that I might be going with you tonight.”
>A slow smile spreads across Shining Armor’s face, carrying with it an obvious note of embarrassment.
>“Ah, apologies then, I suppose that I wasn’t clear.  I’m going out with my wife and it’s just going to be the two of us.”
>You wince as his words twist the knife a little, your eye flinching as you put on a smile.
“Of, of course.  Though, I have to say that I’m not sure going out on your own is such a good idea…”
>“Are there any reports of trouble?”
“Well, no…”
>Shining Armor grins and places a hoof on the outside of your hip, giving you a gentle pat in the process.
>“I’ve already seen to stepping up patrols in the area tonight.  Take some time and enjoy the chance to put your feet up.  You’ve done more than enough for me since coming here.”
>Nodding mutely, you step aside and let the white stallion pass you by.
>As he’s about to round the corner, he calls back to you.
>“Nice look by the way, I’m sure you’ll sweep any mare off her feet tonight!”
>You offer a halfhearted wave as he rounds the corner, leaving you alone for the rest of the evening.



“Well, great.”
>Now what?
>In the end, you do what any reasonable man would do in this situation.
>Grabbing a twelve pack of cider, you find yourself a perch outside of the south wing, your feet dangling over the railing as you stare up at the sky.
>One by one the alcohol goes from the bottle to your gut, so much so that by the time the first stars begin falling you’ve made your way through half of them.
>Feeling a little loopy, you grin and trace the tails with your fingers, drawing small designs in the night sky.
>Hopefully the pair are enjoying themselves as much as you are.
>Though it is rather lonely.
>You’re not sure how much time has passed, enough to drink another two bottles, when a familiar voice cuts through the silence.
>“I heard that you might still be up here.”
>Craning your neck back, you raise your eyebrows at the sight of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.
>…
>The Princess!
>Suddenly aware of your less than stellar appearance, you hope to your feet, nearly stumbling over the railing as you struggle to find your center of balance.
>There’s a sharp gasp from the pink pony, which soon turns into a laugh as you grip the stonework and try to steady yourself.
>“I see you’ve been enjoying the time that Shining Armor’s given you?”
>Your tongue feels fat and bloated as you struggle to form words without sounding like a drooling idiot.
“It, ah, was quite the surpr-rise, I have to say…”
>Princess Cadenza gives a quiet hum of approval as she approaches you.
>Despite the fact that your skin is already flush, you feel it growing hotter as she comes closer.
>With an elegant smile, she nods towards the ground.
>“Please, sit with me a while.”
>Pulling her legs under her, the Princess looks up at you expectantly.
>Unable to deny her, your quivering knees bend and quickly deposit you on the ground with a thud.



>A small laugh escapes Princess Cadenza’s lips as she smiles at you.
>Silence settles in, leaving you scrambling for something to fill the void.
>And then it hits you, why you’re so surprised to see her here.
“Princess, shouldn’t you be out with my lord, Shining Armor?  The stars have just begun to fall, after all.”
>The pink pony gives a small hum of disappointment before looking skyward.
>You can see the reflection of the star tails dancing in her eyes, giving them an eerie glow every few seconds.
>Not bothering to tear her eyes away, she smiles and shrugs.
>“My darling husband seems to have bitten off more than he could chew.  He took ill shortly after we left the Hayseed Loft and so we called it a night.  Rather unfortunate, I was looking forward to walking through Millennial Park and enjoying the stars.”
>You nod in approval, it seems your assessment was spot on.
>The Princess needs some time out of the castle, doing something completely unrelated to her daily labors.
>Chuckling, you reach for your alcohol and shake it in her direction.
“Well, I certainly can’t offer you a fine meal, but I wouldn’t mind sharing my drink with you and watching the sky fall.”
>The first part, you had fully intended as a joke, though the pink pony seems intrigued.
>Her horn flashes blue for a moment, pulling one of the bottles from your stash and popping the cap with relative ease.
>The metal clatters to the ground, joining its brothers and the Princess takes a delicate sip.
>Her face twitches a little, likely unused to something as base as cider, but she offers a smile in response and sets her drink aside.
>“Thank you, Anonymous, it would be a pleasure to watch the stars with you.”
>A knot swells in your throat, making it difficult to breathe.
>With a nervous smile, you nod and turn your back to the pink pony, casting your eyes skyward.



>Long minutes pass in silence before you hear the hiss of another bottle being opened.
>Princess Cadenza gives you a sheepish grin as you glance back to her.
>“Sorry, I just haven’t done anything like this since I was back in high school…”
>As if in apology, another bottle appears in front of her, pointed in your direction.
“…Thank you.”
>Taking the floating bottle, you feel the hair tingling touch of her magic against your arm.
>With that simple exchange, the mood shifts to something more comfortable.
>The Princess moves to sit next to you as you both nurse your drinks, staring to the heavens and soaking in the atmosphere.
>Before long, you feel the pink pony resting her cheek against your shoulder.
>The sweet bubblegum scent of her mane is almost as intoxicating as your drink, subtle but ever present.
>Closing your eyes, you savor it for a long moment before you hear the hiss of the final bottle being opened.
>A part of you wants to laugh at the slightly flushed face of the Princess of Love, but, as usual, you find yourself tongue-tied as you stare into her eyes.
>With a quirk of her eyebrow, she grins up at you.
>“I hope you don’t mind sharing this last one.”
>You can only shake your head, watching as the Princess takes a long pull, and then offers the bottle to you.
>After a moment of hesitation, you take a drink of your own.
>The taste of her lips still lingers on the rim of the bottle, sweet and wonderful, but all too quickly overpowered out by the rush of fermented apples.
>With a tired sigh, you relinquish the bottle and settle for watching the stars again.
>The back and forth continues for some time more, long enough for the brunt of the sky to fall, leaving only faint trails that burst to life from time to time.



>Princess Cadenza grunts and stands suddenly, her legs carrying her with only a slight wobble.
>You reach out a hand to her flank to steady her anyway.
>Despite your rather inappropriate touching, the pink pony smiles.
>“Thank you, Anonymous.”
>Perhaps it’s the night of long drinking, but you finally feel like you can speak with her.
>Giving a quiet smile, you raise an eyebrow and pull your hand away.
“For what Princess Cadenza?”
>“For spending this time with me.  I rarely get the chance to unwind from my leadership duties, so tonight was a pleasant surprise.”
>She bats her eyes twice and then gives a giggle and shakes her head.
>“Though, I may have had a little too much to drink.”
>You both share a short laugh at that, before your lips begin to work on their own again.
“Well, if you’d like the stars will be at their brightest tomorrow night.  We could meet again…”
>Though the mare’s cheeks color, it’s hard to tell if it’s from alcohol or embarrassment.
>“I, I appreciate the offer, Anonymous, but I believe it would be best for me to spend tomorrow with my husband.”
>Ah, right.
>Of course.
>You really should have known better than to ask that.
>It goes against everything you stand for as well.
>To protect your lord, not to take from him.



>As you stew in those thoughts, you almost miss the gentle brush of lips against your cheek.
>Princess Cadenza’s face is still flushed with heat, leaving your flesh feeling as though it were slightly singed.
>“I do appreciate it, truly.”
>She bites her lip, looking as though she wanted to say more before turning tail and making her way towards the hall.
>In the process, you get a face full of the bubblegum scent that lingers even as she moves away.
>In your heady daze, you still hear her voice call out clearly to you.
>“And, Anonymous?”
>Once again you feel unable to speak around her, but as soon as you meet her eyes, you realize it’s unnecessary.
>With a large smile, she cocks her head to the side.
>“If you don’t mind, it’s Princess Cadence.”
>Princess Cadence…
>You give a stupid smile that you immediately kick yourself for and wave her goodbye.
>Shortly after, her hoof-falls fade into the distance, leaving you with nothing more than her scent, the memory of her warmth, and the strangest feeling in your chest that there’s more going on here than either of you would like to admit.