What is my true purpose in life?

To make people laugh.
To make people cry.
To confuse people.
To enlighten people.
To show people the way out.
To find the way out myself.
To destroy the world.
To save the world.
To rule the world.
To remake the world in my own image.
To discover the truth.
To look behind the curtain.
To kill time.
There is no purpose.
To live forever.
To observe and make wry comments.
To eat ravioli.
To make stupid webcomics.
To make stupid youtube videos.
To discover the truth about flying saucers.
To escape the earth.
To escape myself.
To call reality's bluff.
To find someone like me.
To find someone better than me.
To find someone who can take my burden from me.
To kill time.
To be puzzled.
To wake up.
To awaken in the world a sense of a window onto a dark space that holds possibilities hitherto unseen.
To look through this window myself.
To travel through the window.
To watch every movie with a title beginning with a silent letter.
To find someone to talk to.
To give up.
To kill myself.
To get married and raise 2 children.
To go back in time.
To eat cheese and crackers.
To finish reading all the stuff I meant to read, and watch all the stuff I meant to watch.
To sleep.
To stay awake.
To become human.
To become something other than human.
To understand what it means to be human, by becoming human, and then to return to a non-human state.
To take apart the world.
To be in awe.
To be unimpressed.
No purpose.
To be self-aware.
To convince watkins that A Christmas Story is a shitty movie.
To fix what is broken and break what is fixed.
To glimpse the unthinkable.
To dream the impossible dream.
To kill time.
To kill time.
To kill time.
To kill time in an entertaining manner.
To complain to those in charge.
To have the opportunity to do something that would anchor my character and my life story in a fascinating way, and to close the door in that opportunity's face.
To meet the surreal without departing from the banal.
To tell one perfect joke.
To get the joke the universe plays on us.
To finish reading homestuck.
To die last out of everyone I know.
To become president of the united states.
To be the weird one.
To be the smart one.
To talk to myself.
To have unpopular opinions.
To alphabetize.
To be thorough.
To explore areas of possibility that others have overlooked.
To satisfy myself that my understanding of the universe is solid.
Deceit
Guile
To be a leader with no followers
To move beyond contempt
To make peace with life and death
To kill time
To cheat death
To read comics
To write comics
To hang out at the bookstore, eating pizza pretzels, not really reading anything or writing anything down, but thinking about stuff and wandering about in the store.
To watch every episode of Dr. Who, and then argue about dr. who with wilson.
To be the last man on earth.
To stop time.
To push the button, regardless of what it does.
To fulfill a role in the grand story.
To tell stories.
To remove context.
Life has no meaning.
To win arguments.
To watch the lights blink.
To wait for solace to come.
To write poetry.
To commit crime.
To commit crime as art.
No meaning.
To wander around in a desert.
To sing a song.
To jump over a candlestick.
To go up a hill.
To climb a beanstalk.
To build a tower to heaven and make war with god.
To be cold.
Anger.
Bitterness.
Contempt.
To exterminate everything around me that restricts me from being the master.
To see myself vindicated.
To forget.
To keep this glass of orange juice from tipping over in the dining car as the train heads off a cliff.
To be amused.
To celebrate xmas.
To sit in a tree, cut the soles off my shoes, and learn to play the flute.
To pick up a couple of girls.
To pick up things in general.
To re-enlist.
To get out.
To sell out.
To fill in the right forms.
To be forever unsatisfied and unimpressed and unconvinced.
To do things at great personal effort only to have technology render them trivial.
To achieve the moment when there is no turning back.
To have fun.
To understand time.
To understand that there is nothing to understand.
To go crazy.
To correct people's spelling.
To care and share and collaborate.
To articulate myself clearly.
To explode.
To treat people like idiots.
To treat people with respect even though they are idiots.
To be the herald of humanity's end.
To be the voice in the very back of the crowd, asking "what is reality?"
To figure out what's wrong with me and fix it, if possible.
To find a girlfriend.
To find someone whose ignorance I can escape into.
To write the great american novel.
To become what I investigate.
To be destroyed by my own creation.
To kill time.
To witness humanity's end.
To stare into the unblinking eye of infinity.
To become a different person.
To forget everything that makes me who I am.
To deconstruct myself.
To be patient.
To be impatient.
To be thorough.
To feel something.
To know that I should feel sad, but not to feel sad.
To question whether I should feel sad.
To mock all that is sacred.
To rebel against god's moral authority.
To touch the hem of the garment of truth.
To get some answers.
To get mad.
To burn steve pavlina's house down.
To get my engineers to make a combustible lemon that burns steve pavlina's house down.
Getting to the green building.
Learning the truth about the blue figure.
Seeing how dan mitchell's story ends.
Finding my name.
Pretending to be a gorillagram.
Talking at great length to people who don't listen.
Becoming stranger.
Unifying the theory of the singularity with the empirical evidence of flying saucers.
Reading my RSS feeds.
Making one perfect mix CD.
Googling every word in the english language.
Plausible deniability.
Watching the economy collapse in sheets of flame.
Being a bad influence.
Having a negative impact on the world, just because.
Casting off this coat and taking off into the mighty sky, finding nothing there but a vast blue; echoless, ignorant.
Finishing what I have started.
Unmaking myself.
Remaking myself.
Rocking back and forth.
Getting money, getting paid.
Falling asleep in mid-sentence.
Naming the unnameable.
Turning and turning in the widening gyre.
Removing garfield's thought balloons.
Faking metadata.
Dreaming.
Having a sense of humor.
Not being impressed.
Holding the world to a higher standard.
Killing harry potter.
Making stupid comics.
Arguing.
Communicating my unique insights.
Grocery shopping.
Having fun.
I don't know.
Love, revenge.
Friendship.
Living each day to the fullest.
Stealing 40 cakes.
Tracking down the things I couldn't find.
Following threads.
Watching anime.
Reading my RSS feeds.
Nothing.
Working on projects that will never be completed.
Working on projects that will never even get off the ground.
Resignation.
Staying awake.
Sadness.
Lies.
Distracting the hoi polloi from life's duplicity.
Making lists.
Making enough friends that I felt like loving or killing one of them.
Watching the news.
Looking things up.
Living it up.
Getting a blanket.
Impotent frustration.
Delirium.
Conversations with imaginary people.
Doing a bunch of drugs.
Escaping from ohio.
Putting an edited version of bridge to terabithia on bittorrent, in which the plot is exactly the same, but the end credits music is "steal your bones" by electric six.
Chaos.
Downloading a bunch of funny or interesting or pretty pictures and not doing anything with them.
Patience.
Patience.
Impatience.
Blogging.
Saying "I told you so"
Ascending to a higher plane of existence.
Curing cancer.
Leveraging my core values.
Fucking with people's heads.
Creating a savior.
Working for imaginary beings.
Going with the flow.
Reviewing obscure animated films for the student newspaper.
Looking for funny clouds.
Fixing people's computers.
Making a periodic table of smells.
Being wacky and whimsical.
To live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.
To exit through the gift shop.
To start forest fires.
To send people files they don't want.
To be out of sync.
To steal fire from the gods.
To kill the gods and ingest their godseeds.
To buy terry nanny a ham-BURGer when i get back from the TOMB!!!
To live morally and die with dignity.
To get elected to congress, and then start introducing bills with the intent of making christmas illegal, teaching kindegardeners about anal sex, etc. such that no one would believe the media and your political opponents when they started ranting about how awful you were.
To cross the streams.
To build an impossible machine in my garage.
To get a house with a garage.
To get a car.
To learn to drive.
To have somewhere worth driving to.
To give a shit.
To give half a shit.
To write a novel and dedicate it to marcus.
To get something to eat.
To write a novel and then burn it and delete all traces of it.
To be a shooting star, like robin williams in that one movie where he ate a crawdad and a butterfly made a treehouse fall down.
To be a magical genie, like robin williams in that- well, you know what movie it is.
To be a ghost, like bill pullman in the casper the friendly ghost movie.
To die, to sleep, perchance to dream.
To get off this miserable planet if it's the last thing I do.
To be a contestant on QUIZ NERD MADRID
To kill the pope.
To amass shells until I have enough.
To play miniature golf with don hertzfeldt.
To lead the entire cast in a musical number.
To live for others and not only for myself, hand in hand.
To commit a major crime and get away with it.
To call the universe's bluff.
To see what happens.
To remain unmoved.
To listen.
To listen to podcasts.
To talk a lot, even if nobody is listening.
To get my youtube account back.
To see if I was right.
To feel better than james brown.
To meet my own expectations.
To meet the expectations of others.
To be right.
To be in the right place at the right time.
To rise above.
To do the impossible.
To escape.
To see the forest for the trees.
To achieve the perspective necessary to find my way out.
To learn how the story ends.
To investigate.
To make sense of.
To solve.
To solve the puzzle.
To watch a bunch of music videos.
To forgive by forgetting.
To get out of life's waiting room.
To solve the puzzle in a way that wasn't intended to be possible.
To break with the theme of the world.
To kill time.
To reveal my true nature to those I have deceived.
To travel around the world in a balloon.
Rob a museum.
Taking the third path.
Taking the path in the woods that the natives shun.
To kill time