imps vs carps

from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #553
part 2: https://pastebin.com/q3JkuHwC
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Imagine a sports day episode of HB or HH. Maybe the I.M.P employees have to make a team in order to compete against a rival assassin company or maybe Charlie sings up the denizens of the Happy Hotel for a sports competition in order to raise awareness of her cause.

What sport would you guys want to see them play? I'm imagining baseball but with a hell twist. The bats have spikes on them and it's not against the rules to clobber an opponents and maybe the bases have mines under them. Or maybe something like pic related?
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I could imagine something like bloodbowl being a staple in hell
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>angel dust six arm ballin'

Well now that's definitely gonna be a thing
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Gladiatorial combat would probably be really popular
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>What sport would you guys want to see them play?

I like fishing, so I want to see that.

knowing hell, the fish will jump out the water and try to kill you or something.

and I want to see them use dad jokes
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>fish try to kill you
oh so like the dorf fortress killer carp
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>oh so like the dorf fortress killer carp

yeah.

...wait what?...
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https://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Carp
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that is funny yet scary at the same time
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Yeah the carp were a horrifying thing in df and a real killer of dorfs
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>Yeah the carp were a horrifying thing in df and a real killer of dorfs

now I want a story of the imps vs carp's.
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>imps vs carps
This will be on my docket
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thank you
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Blitzo and Stolas in boomer attire dragging along Octavia and the I.M.P crew sounds like a fun time.
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>it ends up like that spongebob episode
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>Moxxie is dragged by stolas and blitzo to go fishing with millie, octavia and loona
>They arrive to the local lake decked out in fishing gear
>loona is the most disinterested while octavia is politely trying listen to her dad while looking like she wants to be anywhere but here
>millie, blitzo and stolas are the most enthusiastic about this
>Blitzo rents a boat
>It's an old rickety thing that looks like it's made of broken driftwood
>moxxie has severe doubts about how well this will turn out
>"C'mon moxxie it'll be fun!"
>A nearby imp is dragged underwater by carp
>The imp thrashes as the water rapidly reddens before going still
>Moxxie did not have a good feeling about this
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>The first hour on the lake is relatively quiet despite loona losing her rod early on and octavia looking absolutely resigned to her fate
>lonna just sits there on her phone while everyone else is losing their minds already
>Stolas keeps hitting on blitzo while the latter is rapidly losing his patience at the lack of any action
>He gets so mad that he throws the oars overboard while the engine also breaks
>Moxxie begins to have a relatively good time sat while sat next to millie
>Millie gets into an argument with blitzo about him scaring away the fish
>Loona gets fed up and throws all the food overboard in anger
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>Everytbody goes quiet
>Blitzo tries to get into another argument bet gets tied up
>The placid lake water begins to ripple disconcertingly
>Moxxie sees a MASSIVE fish fin in the distance before it dives into the water
>Moxxie attempts to warn everyone before the boat is suddenly rocked by a huge wave
>"What the fuck was that?" everyone wonders
>The boat is rocked again by another wave
>A huge shadow can be seen in the water darting around.
>"Uhm do we have a big enough boat for this?" millie quietly asks in panic
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>The fish surfaces and it is an absolutely massive carp that just barely glaces the boat from an attempt at swallowing it whole
>"oh god oh fuck" Everyone except blitzo and stolas are panicking
>"Don't worry! We still have our guns!" Says blitzo
>They left the guns in the van
>"Well I'll simply turn it to stone." says stolas
>It surfaces again for another attempt and stolas uses his Medusa vision on it.
>THE CARP IS ENRAGED
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>Hell. Breaks. Loose.
>Stolas fucking panics and screams in fear
>Everyone is screaming
>Everyone, except Moxxie
>Moxxie, is scared as fuck
>He also realises that this is now do or die.
>'What can we do?' He panics
>He glances at the fishing rods
>He also glances at the tied up squirming form of his boss
>A plan forms in his mind
>He grabs his rod and attaches blitzo to the hook
>He stands at the end of the boat, one foot on the rim and tosses blitzo into the water
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBdQDGGNg8E
>Hook
>Everyone is now screaming at moxxie
>But he is calm, serene in his panicked state
>The fish diverts its mad charge to blitzo
>Line
>Blitzo screams in terror
>The fish takes the bait
>SINKER
>With a quick movement the hook is now imbedded in the massive carp
>The boat is rapidly pulled along by the engaged cyprinid
>Stolas reaches out and tugs blitzo back to safety on the boat
>Moxxie wrangles with the immense force on his rod to try and steer the thrashing carp
>The carp dives taking everyone holding onto moxxie with it underwater
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>The fishes mad thrashes allow moxxie to let his line form a guide in it's mouth
>With a mighty pull moxxie forces the fish to ascend
>Such is the speed with the ascent that the fish rapidly clears the water
>In the rapid confusion of the sudden air time everyone lets go of each other
>Everyone is coughing and still screaming due to the sudden rapid change in humidity
>With a bellowing crack the mighty carpken lands face first on land
>Moxxie manages to land on his feet on top of the mythological carp while everyone else is in various states of dissarray on the ground
>the nearby lake official takes out a measuring tape for the carp
>The fish was huge, easily fifty feet long
>Needless to say blitzo was very unhappy and blamed it all on moxxie but deep down he knew that moxxie did save his life (Even if he did use him for fish bait)
>Millie is ecstatic that they caught such a huge fish and stolas just has a small strained cheer.
>Octavia resolves to never go fishing again and loona wants to punch moxxie for getting her wet and ruining her phone
>And thus the legend of Moxxie the fish rider was told
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The end.
You can title that as Imps vs Carp