top-tier comedy

Creediculous: i suck dicks for cash
Creediculous: oops wrong tab
Sywn: xD
Sywn: How much ?
ca_george: Hey
Creediculous: me sucky sucky 10 dollar
Creediculous: me luv u long time
Sywn: deal
Creediculous: me gib u good time
Creediculous: only 15 dollar
Creediculous: all position
Sywn: k let me think
Sywn: nah
Sywn: ima just go with the sucky sucky
Creediculous: what is your name?
Sywn: Sywn
Creediculous: i learning english sorry
Creediculous: swyn is good name
Creediculous: my name is Vladmir Stoksche
Creediculous: im from Ukraine
Creediculous: do you come to Ukraine?
Starflight5071: Amazing.
Sywn: Nah
Creediculous: where you live?
Sywn: U.S
Starflight5071: Places in the us.
Sywn: Not saying that
Creediculous: in ukraine, gang of robbers take my dog and money
Creediculous: i miss dog
Creediculous: money come again
Creediculous: i raise from baby he alway bring fresh rat to share
Creediculous: dog is best friend
Creediculous: hi anybody here?
Sywn: oh stop ur making me laugh way to much   (reply)
To Sywn: why you laugh at my misery
Sywn: cause i know ur jk   (reply)
To Sywn: but i am srs
zabbo44: hello?
zabbo44: i was just going to the store im sorry creed
Creediculous: what is your name?
Sywn: sorry but its funny xD  (reply)
Creediculous: ??????
zabbo44: wolf
zabbo44: whats urs?
Creediculous: my name is Vladmir Stoksche
Creediculous: i from ukraine
Creediculous: you come to ukraine?
zabbo44: yeaaah
Levelised: if i can fk ur dog
Levelised: ill go
zabbo44: i've been there
Creediculous: in ukraine, gang of robbers take my dog and money
Creediculous: i miss dog
Creediculous: money come again
zabbo44: i'm a soldier you know
zabbo44: my name is solid wolf
zabbo44: i work for a special group called otacon 6
Creediculous: can you bring dog back?
Levelised: sounds gay
Levelised: only if i cna fk da dawg
zabbo44: i should be telling you this, but i know if you tell anyone i'll know and kill you
zabbo44: i can return your dog
zabbo44: but it will cost you
Creediculous: dog very friend. dog only thing make me happy
Levelised: the dog's virginity
zabbo44: it would cost a lot of money
zabbo44: BUT FREEDOM DOESNT HAVE A PRICE
zabbo44: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUR
Creediculous: but i am poor
zabbo44: i'm in
Levelised: creed
zabbo44: where is your dog kept?
Levelised: ill return if i can fk it
Creediculous: plague in ukraine made me lost memory of his whereabouts
Creediculous: and made me lose job
Creediculous: i cough blood for week
Creediculous: and butt vomit for two weeks
zabbo44: This will be very tough.
Creediculous: how you say, bowel movement?
zabbo44: *sniffle*
Creediculous: rectus momentus??
zabbo44: I can smell it.
Creediculous: i lose butcher job because very many bowel movement
zabbo44: Your "rectal movementii"
Creediculous: i very sad now. only have computer to learn english
zabbo44: It is actually showing me the whereabouts of your dog.
Creediculous: try to become america lawyer
Creediculous: why i try english
Creediculous: english very hard
zabbo44: Listen, shut the **** up.
Creediculous: i wish to speak like america king barak
zabbo44: Where is your dog?
Creediculous: he very smart man
zabbo44: I swear to god I'll kill myself.
Creediculous: i train you to be good butcher?
zabbo44: Anyone from Ukraine here?
zabbo44: Hello>?
Creediculous: only 200 hryvnia
zabbo44: I need a translator.
Creediculous: you pack whole cow in 5 minute
Levelised: i frm ukrain
zabbo44: Listen, man.
zabbo44: Oh great.
Creediculous: best butcher in city
zabbo44: Can you tell him to shut up and listen to me?
Levelised: ok
Levelised: creed stfu and smd
Creediculous: do rat and dog go to school?
Levelised: o and listen to nice man
Creediculous: what you want?
zabbo44: Look, I want to help you look for your dog.
Creediculous: you help me find dog?
Creediculous: what you have in return?
zabbo44: I help you... Find dog?
Levelised: yes he halp u
Levelised: he halp u fin dog
zabbo44: I have nothing in return, freedom is my only price.
zabbo44: HUUUUUUUUARGH
Creediculous: ok
Creediculous: what help you need?
Levelised: he tak u to murica
zabbo44: Where is your dog?
Levelised: were is ur dog creed
Levelised: he halp u
Creediculous: i tell you where to find dog
Levelised: ok tlll him
Creediculous: for 200 hryvnia
Creediculous: need money to pay rent or i must sleep on floor
zabbo44: Are you actually charging me?
Levelised: lmfaooo
zabbo44: No **** this, I'm outta here.
Levelised: he knee bed 2 slep on
Levelised: dun b lik dis
zabbo44: I'd rather be a prisoner in Korea
zabbo44: Than listen to your retarded gibberish for one more second.
zabbo44: Let's all be American now.
DragonDew: They take volunteers
zabbo44: Hey there, dude.
zabbo44: What's good, broski?
zabbo44: The waves are pretty gnarly right now.
zabbo44: Woaaah, check out that SMOKING HOT CHICK
DragonDew: that's australian
zabbo44: Wanna go to my place and play NINTENDO?
Levelised: r u talkin bout me, zab
Levelised: im hot chick
Creediculous: i want better life
zabbo44: Hey there, babe-o-licious.
Levelised: if u let me plant my seed in ur anus, ill giv better life
zabbo44: Sup with chu?
Creediculous: ok
zabbo44: tfw my inner animal is snoop dogg
Creediculous: you mean jack long seed?
Creediculous: big tree from anus?
Levelised: ya
Creediculous: heal bowel movement?
Levelised: all
Creediculous: many rectum momentus make me lose job butcher
zabbo44: downloading animu im sorry
Creediculous: if you heal maybe i go back to butcher
zabbo44: i will lag now so i go afk friends
zabbo44: i will return
zabbo44: some day
zabbo44: when war ends
DragonDew: wake me up
DragonDew: when september ends
Starflight5071: No
Creediculous: after i be butcher maybe i pay strong man
Creediculous: to find dog
Starflight5071: September is almost done.
Levelised: october and november are great game months
Starflight5071: You need more sleep.
zabbo44: war end
zabbo44: i love winter
zabbo44: im always sick and i love being sick
Levelised: i like to fk sick ppl
Levelised: all de gems turn me on
Levelised: germs
zabbo44: tfw i have a common cold right now and its the most fun i have
zabbo44: levelised im sick rn
zabbo44: wanna fugg?
Levelised: ya
Levelised: pls
muce: Shut up fags
zabbo44: *puts ass out*
zabbo44: 4u
muce: It seems someone is determined to have this account banned
Starflight5071: Who?
Levelised: me
Levelised: jk
Levelised: Hey, muce.
zabbo44: muce is **** who is in closet
zabbo44: he dont know but he like penis
muce: Hey
Levelised: What's up?
muce: And I don't know, just getting loads of warning messages lately
muce: Nowt, as per
muce: You?
Levelised: Games, the same as usual.
zabbo44: creed
zabbo44: bazinga
Starflight5071: I'm talking with people i don't know. Does that count for anything?
zabbo44: its called socializng
zabbo44: good job
Creediculous: zabbo
Starflight5071: Oh. That thing.
Creediculous: you find dog or?
Creediculous: i look for better hunter?
zabbo44: yes i find dog
zabbo44: zone no match for true wolf like i
Creediculous: ok give dog
zabbo44: that is 200 bazoopers
Creediculous: ok give me
Creediculous: give me bazooper
zabbo44: dog or bed
zabbo44: no give me 200 bazooper
zabbo44: i give u dog
Starflight5071: I like bazoopers.
Creediculous: but i tell you where dog is
Creediculous: you give money
Creediculous: for info
muce: Man, I could really go for some haribo
zabbo44: i have dog in my hand
Creediculous: 200 hryvnia and i take dog from u
zabbo44: give me 200 bazooper
Starflight5071: Haribro? The gummy bears?
zabbo44: or i go find it
zabbo44: you are looking for dog 200 bazooper and i give you dog
zabbo44: give me dog
muce: They come in many varieties
Creediculous: give me dog and bazooper
zabbo44: ill give you bazoopers
Creediculous: need money or have to sleep on floor
zabbo44: no u give dog ill give bazooper
Creediculous: also dog bring fresh rat to share from child
muce: I haven't had any in ****ing ages anyway
zabbo44: let us do deal like this
muce: Suddenly have the desire for them
zabbo44: you pay 100 bazooper
zabbo44: i pay 100 bazooper
Starflight5071: I know, right?
Creediculous: ok but you pay first
zabbo44: we live in same house
zabbo44: sleep in same bed
Creediculous: because i have no bazooper
Creediculous: i am poor
zabbo44: and we have dog for hunt
zabbo44: i only have dog
zabbo44: i have idea
zabbo44: go dog
Creediculous: ok
zabbo44: shoo
zabbo44: run
zabbo44: hello starflight can you help
zabbo44: give 200 bazooper and find me dog i will be grateful
zabbo44: yes see the plan good
muce: Mmmm
Starflight5071: I want some gummy bears now.
Starflight5071: Damn you, Muce!
zabbo44: i give you gummy bears
zabbo44: give 200 bazoopers
zabbo44: and find me dog
Starflight5071: Pfft.
Creediculous: give 200 dog and 1 bazooper
zabbo44: i give you gummy bears
Creediculous: for gummy bear
Starflight5071: I'll go find money around the house.
zabbo44: 200 dog are you crazy dimitri
zabbo44: where we keep 200 dog
Creediculous: no dog reproduce
zabbo44: they go big
Creediculous: so before 200 dog
Creediculous: it become 2 dog alone
muce: All the shops will be closing soon here
zabbo44: where we keep dog
Creediculous: and we become rich
muce: :(
Creediculous: we put in orphanage
zabbo44: we need to feed dog tho 200 dog
muce: And I haven't showered today, and I'm wearing pajamas
zabbo44: 1 food on 200 dog
zabbo44: that is much
Creediculous: they share food
Creediculous: and eat children in orphanage
zabbo44: wait friend i have idea
zabbo44: will make us rich
zabbo44: we train dog
zabbo44: they hunt food
Starflight5071: Sell dog?
zabbo44: we sell food for bazooper
zabbo44: use bazooper to sleep
Creediculous: yes excellent
Creediculous: but i have better idea
Creediculous: we sell food for bazooper
Creediculous: and use bazooper to buy more dog
Starflight5071: Train more dog.
zabbo44: but where we sleep?
Starflight5071: Get more food.
Starflight5071: Get more bazooper
Starflight5071: Get more dog.
Creediculous: we sleep on dog
Starflight5071: Train more dog.
muce: wot
zabbo44: we sleep on food
zabbo44: never hungry
zabbo44: dog bite food dont
zabbo44: ok good plan
Creediculous: but if we sleep on food it spoil
zabbo44: now we only need 200 dog
Creediculous: then dog eat food and get sick
zabbo44: dog is expendable
Creediculous: then infect children in orphanage
Creediculous: hard to eat infected child
zabbo44: we matter
zabbo44: not children
Creediculous: but what we eat?
zabbo44: dimitri we work fast now it is already been 4 years we havent decide on what to do
Creediculous: look
Creediculous: listen my idea
Creediculous: we bring bountry hunter
zabbo44: i have greatest idea in world
zabbo44: no
Creediculous: he bring 200 dog
zabbo44: i have greaterest
Creediculous: we make dog eat bounty hunter
zabbo44: belive me
Creediculous: then we hire more bounty hunter!!!!!
Creediculous: and make them bring more dog
Creediculous: then dog feed on hunter!!!!!!!
Creediculous: and bring more food
Creediculous: genius right artyom?
zabbo44: we split dog number in half
zabbo44: we have 200 dog
zabbo44: 100 go hunt food
zabbo44: 100 go kill
zabbo44: when they kill
zabbo44: we steal bed
zabbo44: and bazooper
zabbo44: dimitri believe me genocide is fun
Discourse: Creed.
Creediculous: but if we catch by police
zabbo44: ahh a stalker
Creediculous: we lose dog and bazooper
Creediculous: and anus get red in prison
zabbo44: cheeki breeki
zabbo44: police eaten by dog