The Stolen Regeneration

The Stolen Regeneration
By Neo
[Note: this takes place during my other shit trip “The War of the Doctor”, but should read fine standalone]

“Here we go - good luck Doctor!” said Captain Jack Harkness, pulling Rose away from the Doctor, to safety.
“Will someone please tell me what is going on?” squawked Donna.
The three of them stood inside the TARDIS while the Doctor writhed on the floor. Just as he’d seen Rose for the first time again in so long, a Dalek had shot him. His body had started to react accordingly.
“When he’s dying, his body, it repairs itself. It changes,” said Rose. “But you can’t!”
“I’m sorry, it’s too late,” said the Tenth Doctor. “I’m regenerating.”
He burst into golden light for a time, then the streams of golden light came to an end, and the Tenth Doctor became the Eleventh.
“Legs! I’ve still got legs, good. Arms, hands, ooh fingers, lots of fingers. Ears, yes, eyes, two. Nose, I’ve had worse. Chin…blimey. Hair - I’m a girl! No, no, I’m not a girl. And still not ginger! And something else, something important, I’m, I’m…”
Rose, Jack, and Donna gaped at the new Doctor.
“You’re loony you are!” exclaimed Donna.
“He’s fine, look at him,” countered Jack.
“You…you changed,” said Rose, glumly.
Outside, Daleks surrounded the TARDIS.
“Report! TARDIS has been located!”
“Temporal prison initiated!”
Inside the TARDIS, the lights shut off and the power drained out.
“Doctor, what’s happening?” asked Jack.
“We’ve had some cowboys in here! Right, well, yes, some kind of chronon loop then! Come along Rose, try holding down that lever, see.”
The TARDIS jerked upwards, pulled abruptly and wildly through the sky by Dalek technology.
“Geronimo!” exclaimed the Doctor.
Once the TARDIS has stabilised, and the companions had all exchanged looks, Jack and Donna both started to talk at once.
“Will someone please tell me what is going on?” wailed Donna, again.
“Doctor, there’s a massive Dalek ship at the centre of the planets,” said Jack. “They’re calling it the Crucible. Guess that’s our destination.”
“He was dying, and he repaired himself,” said Rose, looking at the new Doctor apprehensively. “He changed his face. He’s…new.”
“Look at him,” Donna scoffed. “I thought he looked young before! What happened to his sideburns? And look at that chin!”
“I’ve got a chin now,” said the Doctor, grinning. “Chins are cool.”
“There’s no time for any of this,” said Rose. “The darkness is coming. The stars, going out. Back home, basically we’ve been building this travel machine, this Dimension Cannon, so I could…so I could come back.”
Rose was looking at the Doctor pointedly, but he was too busy prancing around the TARDIS controls to notice here.
“He moves like a giraffe,” said Donna incredulously.
“Anyway,” continued Rose. “Suddenly it started to work, and the dimensions started to collapse. Not just in our world, not just in yours, but the whole of reality. Even the Void was dead. Something is destroying everything.”
“In that parallel world, you said something about me,” said Donna.
“The Dimension Cannon could measure timelines, and it’s weird Donna,” replied Rose. “They all seemed to converge on you.”
“But why me? I mean, what have I ever done?” asked Donna. “I’m a temp from Chiswick!”
The TARDIS started to beep insistently.
“Yowzah!” exclaimed the Doctor. “The Dalek Crucible! All aboard! Daleks, on a spaceship!”
The TARDIS was pulled into the Crucible. Outside, the Supreme Dalek waited.
“Doctor,” it boomed, “you will step forth or die.”
Jack began to say something about extrapolator shielding, but the Doctor leapt out the TARDIS doors before he had a chance. The three companions exchanged alarmed glances, then made to follow him out.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you?” began the Doctor. “There’s one thing you never put in a trap. If you’re smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there’s one thing you never, ever-”
“Behold the might of the Daleks,” intoned the Supreme Dalek. “Your TARDIS is a weapon, and will be destroyed.”
A hatch opened in the Crucible, and the TARDIS was sucked down into the ship’s molten core and, indeed, destroyed.
“You are connected to the TARDIS, Doctor. And it has been destroyed. What do you feel? Anger? Sorrow? Despair?”
“Me?” asked the Doctor. “I’m okay. I’m always okay. I’m the king of okay. No, that’s a rubbish title. Forget that title.
“He’s manic,” moaned Jack. “He’s still cooking, he’s not thinking straight, he’s not taking anything seriously.”
“But he’s the Doctor,” murmured Rose.
“What of your companions,” continued the Supreme Dalek, “what do they feel?”
“Feel this!” yelled Jack, pulling out a small revolver and shooting at the Supreme Dalek.
“Exterminate!” The Supreme Dalek responded in kind, and Jack died.
“Jack,” cried Rose, “oh my god, oh no.”
“He’s fine,” said the Doctor flippantly.
“Disregarding your companions Doctor?” boomed the Supreme Dalek. “Admitting the inferiority of your Time Lord box? Perhaps you aren’t mad as thought.”
“Supreme Dalek,” the Doctor replied, “there’s something you better understand about me, ‘cause it’s important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.”
“Terminate your prattle!” roared the Supreme Dalek.
“Wibbly wobbly-”
“Desist!”
“Timey-wimey-”
“Cease the mockery!”
“Humany-wumany-”
“Exterminate!”
The Supreme Dalek was so annoyed by the Eleventh Doctor that he exterminated him then and there. As the Dalek stratagem proceeded and the Reality Bomb was detonated, all the Supreme Dalek could think of was the glory of living in a universe without catchphrases.