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- This was originally in the misc section (and still is), but the archive links didn't work anymore.
- So I did some digging, and I found it.
- Author: Britfag
- https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/19121918/#19267325
- >Today is Twilight's birthday
- >You were all set for it as well
- >You'd gone through the tedious trouble of making a gift
- >She was a hard mare to buy for, considering Ponyville's... demeanour?
- >In the end you'd settled on creating something instead
- >You liked building and creating, so you'd taken some time to create a fully working Newton's Cradle
- >Getting it to work just right had required decent tools, thank fuck that you'd had those on you when you came here
- >In any case, she was bound to like it you hoped, considering she was an egghead
- >You were all dressed up in your usual attire for the occasion
- >Black suit, red tie; the usual, rather posh
- >God knows why you didn't have a more extensive wardrobe
- >But that was besides the point
- >The point being Twilight, and today
- >You were outside the castle grounds now, walking from the outskirts of the Everfree where your bungalow was
- >The guards immediately recognised you; hard not to do that, really
- >They admitted you with a smile each
- >Nice guys, not bad looking either, for stallions
- >As you walked to the entrance, you wondered how her friends fared
- >You saw Applejack more oft than not considering your like for constructing, what with the repairing of structures and such
- >You hadn't seen much of the others
- >Welp, time to catch up, Anon
- >Oh right, of course, forgot to mention that
- >You're Anon, duh
- >Time to put on the nice face
- >As you entered, a fancy armoured guard trotted up to you
- >He greeted you warmly, asking you to follow him to Her Highness's Ballroom
- >Damn, Twi had a ballroom?
- >'Well yeah, she's a Princess'
- >Shut up, brain
- >You followed him through several hallways until you reached a heavy set of double doors that looked to be made out of opaque crystal
- >The wide doors would probably been more at home in The Crystal Empire
- >Speaking of said doors, they opened inward at your approach, revealing the spacious interior of the Grand Ballroom
- >Shit, this place was crowded with gear
- >By gear, you mean tables of food and drink
- >There were a lot of ponies here as well, likely dignitaries or lords, whatever ponies had in their royal hierarchy
- >In the centre of the room, Twilight danced with her other 5 friends
- >All of the previous element bearers were rather splendid in their outfits
- >The same ones Rarity had made, actually
- >You slipped through the masses of squabbling, chattering ponies to get to them, much to the scowl of a privileged high pony
- >Twilight and company clamour up at your sudden appearance
- >"Oh! Anonymous! Wonderful to see you here, I wasn't expecting you to show up because of your 'anti-social tendencies'!"
- >Yeah, thanks Twilight
- "Nah, I couldn't miss a birthday could I? What's with the crowd?"
- >"Ugh, Celestia says it's my duty as Princess to hold a royal party in my own honour for the common folk. I liked it better when it was just us 7."
- >You can underst--
- "7?"
- >"Of course! You, me, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, and Spike!"
- >Oh right, Spike
- >How was that little bastard doing?
- >You'd been here in Equestria for just going on 4 years now
- >And in all that time, you'd spent most of your days fucking around in your home, getting high with Pinkie and Flutters, or working your arse off with Applejack
- >Barely seen much of Spike at all
- "Ah right, O.K, well, you're all here at least. I don't see Spike here though."
- >"Ah, yeah, he's here! Over there!"
- >Twilight points to a large serving table where several ornate looking ponies are handing out food to those that come seeking
- >But you see no small, purple dragon
- "Nope, maybe a different table?"
- >Applejack canters up and turns your head to the opposite end of the unusually long table
- >"There he is, sugarcube."
- >Oh
- >Wow
- >Oh, okay
- >That's great
- >No, no, that's fine!
- >Just Spike all grown up is all, not barely up to your knee anymore, but easily 5'3"!
- >No, it's great!
- >He's fucking adorable, he's all dressed up in a bloody maid's uniform, totally normal!
- >No! It's fucking peachy! He's as cute as a fucking button!
- >You don't even care, Anonymous!
- >You don't even care!
- >...
- >You care immensely
- >It takes you a few moments to process
- >Applejack has a shit-eating grin wide on her face, and Twilight's just smiling, as if she doesn't get why Applejack might unhinge her face from how stretched that fucking smile is
- >So... yeah
- >'Dude, pick up your jaw.'
- >Shut up, brain
- >This was very strange
- >But good strange?
- >Spike was amazing, for lack of a better word
- >The years had seemingly sought to change him into some kind of femboy marvel
- >His face was pointed, his eyes were almond-shaped and wide, with long eyelashes and a thin neck. Curvaceous body, very wide hips, contoured, long and shapely legs. His feet and hands were small and dainty, very... fragile looking
- >On the whole, you could swear you were seeing a female dragon
- >Bloody hell, the cute bastard was wearing makeup as well
- >Eyeliner outlined the shape of his eyes almost perfectly, he'd spent a good half hour in front of a mirror for it you'd bet
- >Damn, little dragon
- >Rarity appears beside you with a prideful smile
- >"Darling, do you like how he looks? I helped him you know."
- >Of course. Usually you'd brush off Rarity's boasts of her work, but... this was deserved. She'd very clearly had a hand in helping Spike become... feminine
- >"He kept asking me to help him with his makeup, the poor dear. I was only too happy to help. I figured something more in line with his personality would suit for tonight's dress, oh, my Spikey-Wikey's so cute!"
- >Ugh, that pet name
- >'Hit her later, ogle the androgynous femboy goddess now.'
- >Agreed, brain
- >You do just that for a few minutes, watching him shyly smile as he passes out plates of rabbit food to passersby, wishing people a nice evening
- >Pinkie's turn to shine apparently because she's blocking your view
- >"Heeeyyy, Anon! Long time, no see!"
- "Hey, Pinkie."
- >"What'cha doin'?"
- "What does it look like I'm doing, Pinkie?"
- >"Standin'."
- "Your powers of observation could give Maud a run for her money."
- >"Ya think?"
- >Bloody hell, Pinks
- >"Ya wanna grab something to eat?"
- >Actually, that sounds like a nice idea
- >And a better idea to go see the purple goddess while you're at it
- >...And maybe get a few drinks down your neck
- >You be a little cooler under the collar around him that way
- >Let it not be said you weren't adverse to attractions in this world
- >Stallions and mares popped along on occasion that caught you eye, but those were few and far between
- >Right now, Spike was... damn, he was doing something fierce to your body
- >You really wanted to just hug him
- >In order to get within a half a metre of his personal bubble required you to be sufficiently pissed
- >So Ponka took it upon herself to drag you forcefully over to the serving table where Spike was
- >Either she knew or... fuck it, of course she knows, mate; it's Pinkie
- >You catch yourself before her abrupt halt causes you to fall on your arse
- >Woah, hello gorgeous
- "Hah. Hey Spike. Uh, long time, no see?"
- >Best thing to say, really
- >Spike glances up from the dish he's preparing and offers you a timid smile
- >"O-oh, hey, Anonymous! Um... would you like something to eat?"
- >Fuck you sideways, he sounds like he's swallowed gilded honey
- >Lovely voice
- >"Ah, yes, please."
- >You're nervous, dude, calm down
- >"And some cider too."
- >"S-sure thing, Anon."
- >He sounds rather nervous, poor lil' femdude
- >It's getting you down that he looks so... distraught
- >And he's sort of staring into the distance
- "You feeling alright, Spike?"
- >He snaps out of his daydreaming and balks, offering you an apologetic smile and a uneasy face
- >"H-ha, s-sorry! I-I'm kind of on edge right now, s-sorry!"
- >You wave him off
- "Nah, it's fine lil' dude."
- >Shit, did you really just say that?
- >Well, whatever, he seemed to perk up lightly to the nickname, some red flushing to his cheeks
- "So, uh, seriously, what's eating at you?"
- >"Oh... well, n-not much, I guess, just... p-personal issues."
- >He speaks while filling your platter, eventually handing it to you with a cool mug of apple cider in tow
- >"Mainly, just... how I... am?"
- >Step back right there
- "Why's how you are bad to you?"
- >"N-no, no! Well, no, i-it's not, you know? I... I like... you know... this. It's... comfortable, for me..."
- >Ah okay, got that, so why the long face on him?
- >"It's just... uh, you know, I-I really shouldn't talk about it, y-you know?"
- >His sweet, small voice is cracking!
- >We're losing him, Captain!
- >Mayday! Mayday!
- "Why not? I may not see you a whole lot, but know I'm your friend. You can talk to me, same as you could Twilight."
- >He still seems pretty unsure, wringing his delicate hands as if contemplating
- >"I... well, alright, I s-suppose."
- >Score
- >Lets help our lil' friend
- >Or our name isn't Anon!
- "C'mon, tell me what's up? And don't say 'The sky'."
- >Awh yeah, got a cute giggle out of him
- >"O.K, but, you gotta promise not to tell anyone! N-not even Twilight!"
- >Huh, you could do that
- "Can I ask why?"
- >He idly scratches behind an ear spine
- >"I just... I don't want Twi and the others to worry. You know they get super protective..."
- "Of course they do, lil' dude. Twi's like... your mum, no?"
- >"Well y-yeah, that's why: She'll go super protective parent on me."
- "Hm... Sure, I promise, Spike. Would you like to discuss it elsewhere?"
- >His shy smile almost turns to a happy grin, his emerald eyes are brighter than they were, he nods
- >You two both move from the serving table, walking into one of the many adjacent hallways connected to the Ballroom, Spike sighs
- >"Uh... Where to start... Uh, w-well, you know I still live with Twi in Ponyville, right?"
- "That's a given. Number one helper if I recall."
- >"Heh, r-right. So anyway, when I started... this--"
- >He gestures to himself and his dress style
- >"--T-there were, y-you know, some ponies that...didn't like it..."
- >Oh
- >Well now
- >"A-and... they... they hurt me, Anon..."
- >Oh shit, he's starting to tear up
- >You gently 'Shhh' him
- "It's cool, Spike, chill, they're not here are they? They aint gonna hurt you again."
- >He manages to recompose himself, taking in a few lungfuls of air and stopping the tears from falling
- >"I-I'm sorry... It's... it was painful..."
- "Honestly, it's fine. Take your time."
- >"Y-yeah... Thanks."
- >He takes a deep breath, continuing
- >"B-but they didn't stop with a few p-punches... It... it escalated."
- >"T-they started following me instead of waiting for me outside places I frequented..."
- >"A-and... a few shoves and punches... it turned into f-full on beatings..."
- >The tears were going free now
- >It's not fun to watch him sink to his knees
- >It is adorable however, in a heart-breaking sort of way, that he's gone down on his knees Bridget style
- >You crouch down beside him and hesitantly pull him into a hug
- >You'd love to hug him if you were pissed, but you aint, and you're not really a cosy kind of person that dishes out hugs on a regular basis
- "Hey, hey, c'mon lil' dude, don't cry now."
- >You're bad at the whole comforting thing, so you kind of just have to sit there until he stops
- >He does stop finally
- >But your legs are cramped from crouching down for too long
- >He wipes his eyes on the uniform he wears and gives you a shaky smile
- >"Sorry... I-it's not nice to think back on it..."
- "It's alright. Wouldn't be a good mate if I weren't there to help. I'm sorry too, I haven't exactly been here much, have I?"
- >"Y-you've had your own things to do, Twilight said so."
- "Ha, right. I've been shut in my home for ages. It only took me a year or so with AJ's help to build it, so I could of been around. I just chose not to be."
- >"O-oh..."
- "Yeah."
- >He stares at the ground
- >After a time, he looks at you, a warm smile coming to his lips
- >"Well, you're here now."
- "True."
- >"W-would you... be there for me?"
- >Huh?
- >Oh, for the ponies hating on him?
- "In case they show up again?"
- >Y-yeah. After the... f-first attack, t-they backed off, the second... they almost broke something... t-they haven't looked for me again yet."
- "But you think they will?"
- >He gazes at you, scared
- >"No... I know they will."
- >One things nagging at you.
- "How have you managed to hide this from Twilight or the others?"
- >"Ah, w-well... I explore the castle on a regular basis between working, and I always tell Twilight my bruises come from falling over things or, slipping on ladders."
- >"Dragons are resilient creatures, Anon. I'm pretty certain my scales could deflect a s-spear at this point of my growth."
- >Silly Twilight
- >She was the smartest mare you knew, yet she wasn't smart enough to see trouble in front of her own eyes
- >You sigh
- >It's not right
- >Spike doesn't deserve this shit, he's done a lot for Ponyville, The Crystal Empire as well
- "I'll be there for you, Spike, you have my promise on that."
- >He shyly embraces you
- >"Thank-you..."
- >Oh gee, heart pumping like mad
- >Damn pretty boy
- >He seems to sense your discomfort and releases you
- "C'mon, lets get back in there before they wonder where you are."
- >"S-sure, Anon."
- >He takes the lead, walking ahead of you
- >Goddamn, your eyes cannot look away from his arse, it's an applebum, bouncing softly with each step he takes
- >Left, right, up and down, left, right, up and down
- >His steps are so precise as well
- >Just... Unf
- >The rest of the evening is rather fun
- >Pinkie went out into the gardens with Shy and smoked up, you got in on that
- >The party pony was always happy to share a joint
- >Twilight didn't approve of Pinkie's habit, but she didn't stop it, she was even less happy to know you joined in
- >There had been alcohol, dancing, food, and more alcohol. Bad karaoke courtesy of Pinkie herself, which ended with gales of laughter
- >You knew Pinkie could sing well, just... not drunk
- >Hell, Spike even had a few ciders once he'd calmed down, you only reckon he drank because you were
- >At least he was happier
- >Watching him waltz with Fluttershy around in his maid uniform was so unbelievably... hot
- >It was odd, that of all ponies (Dragons, in this case), to catch your eye, it was him
- >He had a certain, clumsy, cute grace to his mannerisms
- >It was different. And that was nice.
- >He was a mix of things
- >And it seemingly ticked all your boxes
- >For the longest time, you'd doted on AJ, and... well, you'd both had your fun, but that was a brief thing between friends
- >What you were feeling as you glanced at Spike was... well, a crush? You'd believe so, his looks were making your brain do flips
- >You always did regret staying away from your friends, and now seeing Spike like he is makes you regret it more
- >Where would you be if you'd stayed around them all more often?
- >Well, at least you were here now, like he said
- >You didn't intend to leave either
- >You decide you'll join in with the dancing, why not?
- >Go on up to the dancefloor
- >Of course, you can't actually dance, you really just sway
- >But that works, it's what most other ponies are doing, in time to the beat of music
- >Oh hey, you know this song
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89AyEP4Ao00
- >Nice beat to sway to
- >Spike looks to be enjoying it
- >You stumble over your own feet, moving toward him before you think
- >Yeah, you've had more than a few
- >Thinking catches up with you
- >'DANCE, MATE!'
- >Damn, that sounds like a good idea
- >'SLAP HIS ARSE, MATE!'
- >Yea-- wait, no, th' hell, brain?
- >'GO DANCE WITH HIM, AT LEAST!'
- >You can get behind that
- >Maybe get behind something els--
- >Bad thoughts, Anon, banish them to the vault
- >You swagger on over to where the purple goddess does some weird dance that utilises his whole body in a rhythm
- >It goes really well to the music
- >He notices you and takes your hand with a laugh
- >His face is flushed, he's... very tipsy
- >Fluttershy giggles knowingly, backing off to go and speak to Rainbow all of a sudden
- >He pulls you towards him, and you grab his waist to stop yourself from falling
- >Celestia on high, these hips don't lie
- >He's giggling in your ear as he sways about in his little dance
- >You're fumbling about holding his hand as he does this, so you attempt to join in, probably looking a right twat in the process
- >You spin him, making him do a pirouette
- >He kicks his leg up when he comes about to face you again
- >Damn
- >You could of happily stayed like that and danced with him until you both fell asleep
- >Alas, all good things must end
- >The music dies down and Twilight magically empowers her voice to let everyone know the party will end soon
- >All in all, everyone has had fun tonight
- >You especially
- >After the nobles and such have taken their leave, and the actual maids have come out to clean, it stands just you 8 in the largely empty room now
- >Twilight trots over to where you decided it would be a nice place to lie down
- >Hey, the floor is marble. It's cold, cold is good right now
- >Her magic picks you up as if you were a stick
- >Drunken you finds this extremely amusing, making you burst into laughter. Of course, Pinkie joins in even though she hasn't the foggiest idea why you're laughing
- >Twilight smiles
- >"Looks like you had a good time tonight, Anonymous."
- "Yeah..."
- >"I don't think you're good to go home though."
- "No...?"
- >"You're drunk, I think you drank more than Applejack did..."
- >The applebutt in question cheers at the mention of her name
- >"Yee-haww! Ah'm good a' th' drinkin'! Great fun wer' had t'nigh'!"
- >Rainbow's attempting to drag her away
- >"C'mon, AJ, lets go back to our room."
- >You laugh at the couple
- "Naahh, she's so gone, mate!"
- >Twilight simply nods
- >"Exactly, and you're drunker than she is."
- "Yeah! I'm drunk! You don' haven'excuse!"
- >"Come on, let's get you settled. Goodnight everypony!"
- >She wishes everyone a farewell and they make their departures
- >You're content to float through the castle until Twilight decides to deposit you into a rather spacious room with a roomy double bed
- >"238 rooms in this castle, it's unreal. This one's closest to the bathroom in case you need to, um, empty your stomach."
- "Hah, thanks Twily. Yer a pal."
- >"I'd hope so. Have a pleasant night, Anonymous."
- >You waste no time in falling into the duvet, snuggling into the warmth and comfiness. You laugh at the antics of tonight, promptly falling asleep
- >Your last thoughts are of Spike
- >And your dreams are filled with him
- >Come morning, your morning wood makes itself known
- >Your head is still fuzzy, but you remember last night easily, for which you're glad
- >You decide to 'take care' of your morning wood in the shower while you wash off the sweat and grime from the night previous
- >You emerge from the bathroom the epitome of cleanliness
- >You sniff at your suit, shrug, and don it regardless
- >It wasn't too bad, it'd suffice until you got home
- >But first, to the kitchens!
- >You required foodnoms
- >And you'd have it, or you'd die tryi-- Er, be quite peeved
- >You explore until you actually succeed in finding the kitchens, and that takes a good long time
- >You a door open and amazing smells assault your nostrils
- >Gonna have yourself a nice full english
- >Oh wait, no you're not, these buggers don't eat much meat
- >Have to go to special Griffon-run restaurants for that
- >Meh, rabbit food it is
- >Your stomach grumbles as it was only full of party food and alcohol last night, so you mosey on over to a table and sit down
- >This kind of on-order kitchen-lunchroom is awesome
- >Perks of being a Princess in a castle you guess, plus staff needing food all the time
- >A waitress steps up with a smile
- >"What would you like today, sir?"
- >You scan the menu she offers you briefly
- "I'll just take the bread rolls with butter, and balsamic vinegar. A dozen vegetable samosas as well."
- >"Of course, sir, right away!"
- >A dozen because they're so damn small
- >Plus, you fucking love samosas
- >You're waiting a good 10 minutes but your order is brought out piping hot
- >You stop before taking a bite of a roll, noticing The Goddess entering the serving room
- >Damn, Spike
- >He's hotter than yesterday
- >You could probably cook an egg on him
- >The maid uniform was cute, but what he wore now?
- >Tight black tee, snugly form fit to his upper body, showing off his feminine figure
- >Just-as-tight skinny jeans, but damn, he must of needed Rarity to make them custom, because they fit perfectly on his curvy hips all the way down his long legs to his petite lil' clawed feet
- >He didn't notice you at first, so when he turned, you saw a full view of the fabled applebutt
- >And in those jeans, just, UNF
- >Such a nice arse
- >You could bounce a bit off those cheeks
- >You'd rather do something else to-- No. Bad Anon, cease. To the vault with you!
- >Wave at him, he sees, shyly waving back
- >He slowly walks over
- >"Good morning, Anon."
- "Morning, Spike. What's up."
- >"The sky?"
- >Fucking adorable wanker
- >He laughs gently at the joke, you humour him and smile, he takes a seat opposite you
- >"A-are you feeling alright, today?"
- "I'm peachy. But seriously, the question stands; what's up? You doing O.K after last night?"
- >He shifts about in his seat
- >"Y-yeah, I guess. It felt good to get that off my chest, y-you know?"
- "I understand. At the end of the day, we've all had bullies. Of course, these guys are beyond that."
- >He looks downward again, glancing at his cute feet
- >"I saw them this morning. Outside the castle."
- >You glance at a clock on the wall, 11:42. Huh, late riser, you are
- >"I was going to head into Ponyville and see Pinkie, but... t-they were hanging around the local pond into town..."
- >"I got scared in case they saw me, y-you know? S-so I came back here."
- >Darn, femdude can't even get out the castle
- >You'll put that right
- >You gotta stick up for your friends
- >Perhaps confronting these guys might be a move to consider
- "So... how many were there?"
- >"Oh... j-just 3..."
- >3 ponies picking on 1 innocent little dragon
- >Rather unfair
- "Are they all Stallions?"
- >"Y-yeah... One of them, he was really s-strong."
- >Could it be that guy that hangs out with Fluttershy? It couldn't be, could it?
- >Bulk was a pretty cool guy, and friendly
- >Then again, he was somewhat... simple minded. It stood to reason he might also be quite narrow minded as well
- >You're getting on this very soon
- >The same waitress comes over again and asks what Spike would like to eat
- >He asks for a deluxe salad with everything
- >He likes his rabbit food, apparently
- >You sit in polite silence until she leaves to help another pony
- >Spike brings up conversation about something other than the stallions, like new clothes that Rarity's been making
- >Of course he follows Rarity for clothing
- >You laugh good-naturedly
- >A brief flush rises to his face
- >"H-hey, clothes are a good interest!"
- >You raise your hands in surrender
- "I wasn't judging! Just find it rather fitting of your person."
- >He nods
- "I suppose you like following hairdresser tips as well from those magazines that are about."
- >"...They have some good techniques for softening your spines and stuff..."
- >You can't help but grin, breaking into chuckles
- >"A-at least I'm with the trends!"
- >Oh no, what a low blow
- >You laugh harder
- "Ohh... Spike, you're adorable."
- >He seems taken back by the comment
- >It was meant as a compliment
- >He seems to take it as such however, blushing crimson
- >"...I-I, s-shut-up..."
- >Oh wow, he's not a taker of the compliment
- >You're gonna have fun with this
- >The waitress places Spikes food in front of him and goes off
- >Spike digs in, in the most feminine way you've ever seen someone eat
- >A few pieces on the fork, gentle bites, soft chews
- >Is there anything he does that isn't graceful?
- >You remember him being very clumsy as a small dragon
- >Maybe it's an age thing
- >Either way, he's... perfect, really
- >'Mate, you're so gay for him.'
- >Shut up, brain
- >He /was/ perfect, for you anyway
- >But hey, you had no clue if he was gay, or bi, or what
- >For all you knew he liked mares and was just like this because he hung around Rarity so much
- >That was actually something you'd like to talk to Twilight about
- >It wasn't bad, far from it, but it was making you curious
- >Meh, it can wait
- >Oh damn, he's finished already
- >Appetite of a dragon
- >To be fair, the meal would of been gone in the blink of an eye if it'd been gems
- >Another thing for the list; get Spike some fuck-off great big gems
- >To action!
- "Right, well this has been rather lovely, Spike, but I gotta get home."
- >His expression turns from content to surprised
- >"Oh, really? I-I was hoping we could m-maybe hang out?
- "Some other time, promise."
- >He seems like he's going to say something, but instead he nods
- >"H-have fun."
- >You leave feeling like an arse, but you want to get to the bottom--
- >'Yeah you do!'
- >Shut up, brain!
- >--Of this situation Spike is in
- >And you will, right fucking now
- >If those guys are still there at the pond
- >It takes you only minutes to get to the front of the castle thanks to the guards directing you
- >You're bringing a ball of string next time though, bloody hell
- >Alright, pond now, home after
- >You stride determinedly, you're on a mission
- >You hear a few ponies calling your name, but you aint got time for them yet
- >The pond is up ahead
- >But no big stallions to be seen yet
- >As you walk, you begin to wonder if they've buggered off
- >'They've scarpered they have!'
- >Possibly
- >But no, you'd be a lucky one
- >There's 3 Stallions throwing rocks into the pond
- >One has a pipe in his mouth, and looks like Steve Buscemi on heroin, if he were a pony
- >Another is a fairly normal looking pony, although he's quite macho, short clippered mane and tail
- >But the last one, damn
- >It's not Bulk Biceps, but it could be his estranged cousin or some shit
- >This stallion is muscled to fuck, but instead of a weird grin and white coat, he's got a mean stare and he's dark grey
- >These gotta be the cunts hurtin' on Spike
- >Welp, time to play
- "Hey, excuse me mates! You got a light?"
- >You have no pipe to smoke, but they don't need to know that
- >The gangly Tim-Burton pony with the pipe perks up
- >"I got a light, if you're needing."
- >Infiltration complete
- >You're the goddamn batman, in a suit
- >You pace over to them cautiously, the one who looks like a Jarhead in bootcamp seems wary of you
- >"You... you're that Anonymous guy. Friend of th' princess an' that right?"
- "I guess you could say that."
- >Hm, where can you take this? You do take a match or two from Buscemi though, grabbing some random shit from your pocket in the hopes it looks smokable
- >Oh fuck, score, a bloody joint of all things
- >Welp, if you're gonna talk, may as well do it high!
- >Thankyou based Ponka you beautiful mare
- >You light up, throwing the spent matches
- >Grey Hulk eyes you like a piece of meat
- >Scout_This_Does_Not_Look_Good.avi
- "But yeah, I know the Princess. Four, actually."
- >Jarhead grins
- >"Yeah dude, what about that Empire chick, huh? I'd nail her so hard! Bend the bitch over and rut her good!"
- >Oh if Shining Armour head this guy
- >TEN YEARS DUNGEON
- >You nod, smiling
- "Eh... so, you guys know of fun shit to do around here?"
- >You haven't seen these guys before, so likely they don't know you've been here for years
- >Buscemi speaks up again
- >"Oh, sure, plenty of fuck all. This town's only good for the cider 'cos of that farm down the way. Other n' that it sucks hard."
- >Jarhead chips in
- >"Oh man, so true. It's like... there's nothing! Man, I wish that prissy faggot would show up again, I need to hurt something."
- >Bingo, these are your guys
- >Low-life cunts
- >Hm. Well, you're playing the game, lets put on the game face
- "Prissy faggot? What you on about?"
- >Grey Hulk's been very silent
- >That unnerves you
- >He's still looking at you like you're dinner, more so now you asked that
- >Jarhead continues, oblivious to you motive
- >"Just some queer-sexual weirdo, guy dressed like a girl and expects to be treated normally, pft. Maybe he decided normal clothes were good after Brawn near on broke his arm!"
- >Ah, so Grey Hulk has a name
- >He didn't seem pleased for you to know that though
- >He glares daggers at Jarhead, who visibly recoils
- "Ha, well, I can understand. Thanks for the light, mates, I'll see you around."
- >You get the fuck outta there before Brawn can bury you
- >Goddamn, you were sweating bullets
- >Good thing you got an excellent poker face
- >And hey, information, plus a lit joint
- >You were motherfuckin' Garret
- >Taking a shortcut, you head on back to your place
- >Home, sweet home
- >You shut the door once you get inside, and lock it, just to be safe
- >You jump out your fucking skin when you turn around
- >Suddenly Twilight
- >Very annoying
- >But... hey, your to do list is pleased
- >"Hello, Anonymous. Sorry to intrude without you being here. The door was unlocked, and I couldn't find you in the castle."
- "Fair doose. What'cha here for?"
- >She meets your eyes
- >"I'm concerned, Anonymous. Spike's been acting so reclusive recently, and he was limping up until a while ago."
- >Huh, you didn't notice a limp, maybe he recovered before you saw him
- >"He says he falls over a lot, but I don't buy it. But, he just refuses to talk to me. I'm worried."
- >Shit, and here you thought she was totally blind to Spikes problems
- >But also; shit, you promised Spike you wouldn't tell
- >...
- >Fuck it, he can be mad at you later, you're gonna help him
- "Yeah, about that: He's uh, been having some trouble lately."
- >"Like what?"
- "Well, there's a few ponies that, er... don't like him."
- >"Oh no... he was limping, Anonymous! You don't think that--"
- "Yeah, it's what you think."
- >She looks almost horrified
- >"T-this is awful! Why would anypony hurt him?!"
- "Woah, calm down. Chill. Spike didn't want me telling anyone, don't go rushing all mother hen to him."
- >"And why not? Why did he come to you and not to me?!"
- "Because you're doing this; freaking out."
- >"I AM NOT-- *Ahem*, I am /not/ freaking out."
- "Sure. Calm down, take a breath. This needs to be dealt with discreetly."
- >"Discreetly? I-- yes. Yes. Fine."
- "Alright, good. I know who the guys are. One of them confirmed it when I met them."
- >"You met them?! They're all stallions?"
- "Yeah, I'm awesome. Spike also said as much."
- >She smiles, but it's not happy
- >"I'm... hurt, that he didn't think he could rely on me. I would of gone 'mother hen' I suppose, but it would of gotten sorted out immediately."
- "Eh... somehow I think you'd sing a song of friendship and try to appease to the bad guys."
- "And if that failed, boom, turn them to stone."
- >"I would not!"
- "Discord? Elements. Trixie? Sang a song of peace and tricked her. Tirek? Super Saiyan Elemented him."
- "I highly doubt such tactics can be applied here."
- >"I have the law."
- "True, I was about to ask that we go down that path. It's convenient and saves me grabbing a heavy inanimate object to beat some cunts up."
- >She frowns at your language
- >"Anonymous, you wouldn't really do that would you?"
- "Depends how pissed off I was. and how pissed I was."
- >"Stop swearing!"
- >'You cheeky lil' bitc--'
- "Fine."
- >"Alright, you know where they are?"
- "Yes. Well, I did; they might of left the pond by now."
- >"Good, okay. Names? Appearance?"
- >Awesome, now we're gettin' somewhere
- "Well, one of them looked like Stev-- Ah, sorry, erm, one of them was small, skinny, quite pale, kind of malnourished looking."
- "The other two were quite bulky, one with a clipped mane and tail, also a white coat. The other was considerably more bulky and dark grey."
- "The big grey one was called 'Brawn' or something like it."
- >Twilight recoils at the name
- >"Oh, oh dear. Big Brawn?"
- "Big Brawn? Yeah, that's probably it, one of the others mentioned him as Brawn."
- >"This is bad, Anonymous. Really bad!"
- "Uh... why?"
- >Big arsehole is a problem apparently
- >Twilight settles on her haunches, looking like she's in concentration
- >"He's a known thorn in the Princesses sides, uh, well, mine too considering. He's been arrested before for assault against mares."
- >Shit, not good
- "So he's likely not to care about another sentence I guess?"
- >"Well at most, assault is a rare occurrence, what with Celestia keeping Equestria peaceful for hundreds of years."
- >"And the laws are... laxer than they were."
- "What? Even for assault?"
- >"Yes. A few months at best, with rehabilitation and anger management."
- "That's bullshit."
- >"Language!"
- "Sorry, but it is."
- >"I... I know, I've read all there is on law and order within Equestrian borders and it's counties. Within the region of Canterlot, especially. Back when I was studying under Celestia."
- >"In any case, the longest sentence would be about 10 months, if that. Plus extended rehab and anger management."
- >Godammit, you need to help Spike
- "Well, he's a known offender, I can tie his mates to him, Spike can identify him, he's got the bruises to prove it most likely, I haven't seen any, but I'm sure he's got them."
- >"I thought you said you wanted this discreet?"
- "I do."
- >"Then let me handle this. It won't be that easy, but I promise I will sort this out, Anonymous. I know you care for Spike just as much as I do, in your own way."
- >Damn straight
- "Look... just, keep Spike out the loop. I'll stick around him, make note of if they come around again. They'll back off if he's not alone."
- >"O.K, good. I'll speak with Luna soon."
- "Luna? Not Celestia?"
- >"Luna's more... well, lets say Celestia is the peaceful one."
- "Ah. Gotcha."
- >"Well, thank-you for your time, Anonymous."
- "No problem, seeya la-- Oh! Wait!"
- >She stops leaving, turning her head, and then herself, about to face you
- >"Yes?"
- "I was going to ask questions about Spike, actually."
- >She instantly goes cheerful, egghead mode kicks in
- >"What do you want to know?"
- "Mainly, I'm curious as to why he's so... you know... feminine."
- >"Ah, well that can be explained easily. You see, when a dragon reaches a peak of their maturity cycle, like as within ponies--"
- "Twi, short, dumbed down version, please."
- >"Sorry. Um, basically? Spike being around so many mares and so few stallions affected his growth cycle, most likely."
- "Most likely?"
- >"Ponies have yet to breach certain fields of research. All we know of dragons has been documented by Celestia and myself."
- >"Beyond usual documentations from other scientists brave enough to get near dragons, of course. It's hard to get to their true homeland, which lies beyond Equestria. But in terms of their anatomy, how things work with their brains and bodies, a lot of it is theory. Celestia documented what she could from Spike when he was tiny, and when I grew old enough I started to take over. And from what I know of dragons, that's the most likely explanation."
- >"They hoard, we've all had evidence of that, but with a lot of dragons, it's their life. So I'd believe his growth has been affected because of course, he's grown in a stable, sure environment, instead of the wild. Dragons mature to their surroundings, from what's been seen by myself and other scientists. So it's not impossible to believe that instead of being surrounded by brutish male or female dragons, which would harden him, he's surrounded by friendly, caring ponies, mostly female, which has likely 'softened' him, as such."
- >Awesomely insightful
- "Thanks for the info. Is he staying like it?"
- >"From what I can gather of how dragons grow up? No doubt. Once they hit their peak in maturing, they change to suit the habitat they're in for good. It's a specific magic dragons have, I don't fully understand it so all I could do is speculate. He will possibly continue to grow, but only as needed by his surroundings."
- >So, even more feminine Spike, come the future
- "Thank-you."
- >"Not a problem. I'll keep you informed."
- >Now that's been cleared for the time being, you to-do list beckons the final task you've noted
- >Get Spike those gems
- >A stop to Rarity's should suffice, if she has any to spare
- >If not... well, she'd know where to get some
- >You get changed first though, swapping your soiled suit for a fresh one
- >You head out after and lock the door behind you this time
- >Today it was Twilight, tomorrow it could be a thief
- >It's a pleasant walk into Ponyville at least, you saw Fluttershy playing with some rabbits
- >Angel looked pissed off as usual
- >Rainbow Dash buggered about with the Clouds as you walked, she called out to you and you both shouted a conversation to one another
- >Before you know it, Carousel Boutique
- >You enter the building with a smile
- >Rarity was fiercely protective of her gems, even if she was generous, plus she was usually only generous if it benefited her in the long run
- >Giving you gems wouldn't do that, really
- >So you needed to make nice
- "Rarity! Is the lady in?"
- >"Oh darling! Hello, good afternoon~!"
- >Yep, she's in
- >"Are you wanting for something? Perhaps you'll let me fix you a new suit, hm? Something other than black, maybe a nice salmon-pink, or baby blue..."
- "Heh, er, no thanks, I like my suits the way they are. I was actually wondering if you had any spare gems."
- >"My, my, right to the point, are we? Hm, well I do apologise, Anonymous, but my stocks are dwindling."
- >Course they are
- "They'd be for Spike. Not me, don't eat gems. Terrible indigestion."
- >"Aha, very good. But I'm afraid I still have no gems to spare for my Spikey-Wikey. I need the last of what I have to ornament my summer line, and even then I don't believe I'll manage. I'll need to find more."
- >Alright, plan B
- "How about we go hunt now?"
- >"What? Now?"
- >Well I did just say that, yes, silly mare
- >She idly taps a hoof to her chin
- >"Hm... I suppose. It would set me straight for a few weeks to gather a new load of gemstones before the rain comes in."
- >"Oh, alright. Allow me to grab some warm clothing and we'll be off."
- >It benefited her, so she does it
- >Ugh, at least Spike's gonna eat well tonight
- >Thankfully she doesn't take 10 years to get ready
- >You both set out to the outskirts of Ponyville where the mountain range begins
- >"Usually I'll just pay somepony to bring in a few carts at a time, getting them myself can be so tiring. But at least this way I have you to help me carry more back."
- "True. I'm keeping the biggest ones we find though, for Spike."
- >"Hmph! I'll allow you 2 of the biggest, for him."
- "10."
- >"2."
- "/10./"
- >"Hm, 5."
- "...7."
- >"...Hm... agreed. Mother always said a good compromise usually leaves both parties pleased but annoyed."
- "I'm annoyed you're not living up to your element."
- >"Harsh, darling. A bearer of the element I am no longer, you might recall."
- "Whatever, lets find these gems."
- >"I've already found a cache, a few feet under us to our left."
- >As she says this, her magic scoops earth from the ground and deposits it
- >DOSH_HERE_LADS.mp4
- >In truth, it's not a lot
- >A small amount, but still gems
- >Rarity magics a bloody massive great big cart outta fucking nowhere
- >Fucking magic, man
- >"I would like to fill this."
- >Yeah, you're hoping, mate!
- "Well, if I'm helping you carry, at least give me a box to fill."
- >She magics you a decently sized holder that you can carry
- >"There, darling. It will grow quite heavy as you're going to carry the large, delicate ones. I know you like the big ones."
- >Cheeky
- >"The large cart is for all the smaller gems. More fit that way."
- >Makes sense
- >Your search for treasure goes into the hours, and bears fruit
- >Well, gemstones
- >Your holder is laden with gems from the size of your fist, to gems that are as big as an ostrich egg
- >Needless to say, it's quite fucking heavy
- >But you're managing, just
- >Rarity took a few of the larger ones into her own cart which was almost full to the brim
- "Thanks."
- >Pleased with your payload, Rarity heads back for home
- >When all is said and done, Rarity smiles as she hands you a heavy bag with numerous small gemstones and... 12 of the large ones
- "Hm, thank-you, a generous lady after all."
- >"You're welcome. You helped, so I should at least give you something for it."
- >Top cunt isn't so bad, insufferable dramatic bitch she may be, but at last she has a soft spot for friends
- >Next stop; The Purple Goddess
- >Gonna cheer a femdude up
- >You're in a very good mood now
- >Obviously there is the small dark cloud hanging over you
- >Spikes harassment
- >But it was getting smaller by the minute
- >It would be under the rug soon and he'd be safe
- >With that in mind; good mood
- >And then Pinkie drops by
- >You almost immediately hug her
- "What's up, Pinkie?"
- >She beams
- >"Nuttin', just wondering; who're the gems for, Anooon~?"
- >She gives you a sly stare
- >She knows
- >When does she not know anything?
- >You voice this
- "I do believe you know exactly who they're for."
- >She blows a raspberry in a rather cute fashion and boops your nose
- >"I know, yeah. But you know nothing~."
- >Erm, okay?
- >You laugh as she begins to giggle
- >"I think it's nice you're such bestie best friends with Spike."
- >Yeah, that is nice
- "I agree. Now, go on, you've got a store to attend to, no?"
- >She levels a coy grin
- >"You know nothiiiing~."
- "Oh, so, break time?"
- >"Nooothing~."
- "Day off?"
- >"There you go! Got there in the end, Jon Snow!"
- >She bounds off in her cute-weird hops before you come to realise what the hell she just did
- >Fucking Ponka
- >You continue on your current mission
- >That would be a delivery to your-- Er, /The/ Purple One
- >We Fallout now
- >You the motherfuckin' Courier
- >Strut past the guards
- >Nothing's gettin' you down
- >...
- >Except for the beautiful dragon that's running at you, crying
- >Shit, what's upset--
- >"YOU TOLD! YOU TOLD!!?"
- >Fuckdammit, Twilight
- >You now have to deal with femboy uselessly beating his fists against your chest
- >It's so adorable, you just want to hug him
- >That might upset him more, actually
- >"You promised me, Anon!"
- >You place your spare hand on his shoulder
- "I know. And I'm sorry for that. But it needed to be sorted."
- >"I-I know you care for me, but of all the ponies to tell?!"
- "She came to me, she wasn't buying your excuses."
- >"I j-just... ugghhhh... Anon..."
- "I really am sorry, alright? I just don't want to see you hurt, you're my close friend. I haven't seen what marks were left the last time they rounded on you, but you can be damn sure if I had I would of set off in a blind rage."
- "It was a pre-emptive strike so as it won't happen again. Your well-being and safety concerns me, Twilight, all of your friends and family. We do not want to see you broken and bleeding because you chose to live your own lifestyle and be who you are."
- >He seems like the anger is sapped and he's given up being mad
- >"I..."
- >He lowers his head and sighs
- >"Yeah, I-I guess keeping this a secret w-wasn't a good move."
- "Well the important thing is it's been brought to light."
- >"I don't feel I can trust you now, yet I also do. It's confusing."
- "Let me put it simply: Secrets that endanger your life? Shouldn't be secret, lil' dude."
- >He smirks slightly at the nickname
- "Anything else though? I'm your man."
- >He giggles, a light blush colouring his face
- >He makes a sort of cross between a gasp and a squeak when you pull him into a tight hug against your chest
- >He fits so well into your arms
- "I want you to be safe."
- >You meant it, obviously
- >You really did care for him
- >And this hug was bliss, he was sort of shocked, but returned it in due haste
- >Such an adorable bastard
- >"You know, good chance I will be now; considering Twilight told me I can't leave the castle for a few days as she's 'sorting things out'."
- >Oh, well that sucked
- >'Hm, maybe he has somethi--'
- >Do not even try, brain
- "I did bring a gift. I suppose it's more a peace offering now."
- >That alerts him, hell, his tail lashed about there
- >"W-what is it?"
- >He gazes up at you, you look down at him
- >HNNG, so...
- >Cute? Adorable?
- >No, dude, that's... sexy
- >Damn, you're crushing on him so bad
- "Heh, er, I got you gems."
- >Spike's head darts to the bag
- >His tail is going nuts
- >But he doesn't take them
- "Dude, they're yours, have them."
- >/Then/ he takes them, gently
- >Grace of a fucking ninja
- >He peers his snout into the bag
- >"Huah! Ooohhh, so many rubies, they're the tastiest ones!"
- >Make a mental note of that, Anon
- >"Ohhh, thank-you so much!"
- >You are practically glomped
- >And he's giggling like a schoolgirl
- >UNF
- >And you're speechless when he pecks you lightly on the cheek, you'd swear it didn't happen
- >But it did
- >MAXIMUM UNF
- >He doesn't notice your blush thank god, he's too busy nomming on a rather sizeable ruby
- >This dragon
- >This fucking dragon right here
- >He does not know what he does to you
- >Your heart can't take his mixed cute-sexy
- "Hah... c'mon, let's get inside, huh?"
- >He nods happily
- >Wow... so that happened
- >Your thoughts turn... l-lewd senpai!
- >VAULT. NOW
- >But you do wonder, how could you go about planting a kiss on his cheek?
- >'Which chee--'
- >DON'T EVEN, BRAIN, DO NOT EVEN
- >Damn, you're overloaded
- >Anon.exe has encountered an error and needs to close
- >Reboot
- >...
- >...
- >...And we're back
- "I'm glad you like the gems."
- >Spike nods enthusiastically
- >"It's so thoughtful of you! I haven't had gems in awhile. My dream have been full of rubies!"
- >Your dreams have been full of him...
- >Damn, you're sappy
- >But it's true
- >As your morning wood tells you, each morning
- "You're very welcome... H-hey, as you're penned up for a few days, what will you do to pass the time?"
- >He shrugs
- >"The usual, I guess. Clean and sort and be an awesome assistant."
- "But that's boring."
- >"Well, leaving the castle or not, I still have the job to do."
- >Oh right, he gets paid now for his work
- "I see."
- >"Just means you have to spend time with me in place of the time I'd usually go out. Considering you got me into this mess."
- >Well look at you, lil' dragon, being all cheeky when you've got your gems
- >Did they boost confidence or some shit?
- >He was looking way more... dragony?
- >He was happy, talking, and not so shy toward you
- >You assume it's the gems
- >The rest of the evening passes by very quickly, Spike made you make good on keeping him company
- >It's fun, spending time in the company of somepon-- dragon, that you like
- >You've been gaming on a MareBox
- >It was Luna's
- >You know she'd be rather peeved to discover you'd borrowed it
- >Spike's confidence is why you have it though
- >He wanted to play on it, and made you--
- >Well, he didn't /make/ you do anything, he asked, and you couldn't refuse him
- >Them bloody gems made him surer, though
- >He was more than happy to gloat when he kicked your arse...
- >"Yaaayy~! I'm actually good at this, wow!"
- >...In his own, adorable way
- >It's really late, actually
- >As if to prove it, you yawn automatically
- >Triggering Spike to yawn
- >You're not going home this late, crashing in the castle again is cool with Twilight anyday
- >Plus the beds are nicer
- "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go to bed."
- >Spike looks at the MareBox, then back you
- >"Yeah, I guess it's kinda late. I'll go put this back in Luna's chambers."
- "Awesome. Night then, lil' dude."
- >You pull him into a hug, he smiles, his claws meeting around your lower back
- >"Ni-night to you too~."
- >Cute
- >You head out of Spikes room and just go down one, it's a empty one after all
- >You're in your bed like Flash, after the suit's off
- >You almost doze off, but you're woken by a claw
- >Spike
- >...
- >In... woman's nightwear
- >Sexy nightwear
- >Oh god, he's wearing lacy panties
- >His bulge!
- >Your dick! Sproing!
- >"H-hey Anon, c-can I share your bed tonight? It's really cold in my room, t-the radiator broke..."
- >He's back to shyness
- >But he's not wrong; it was cold in there, and it's warm in here
- >And you /do/ want him to snuggle with
- >Fuck it
- "S-sure."
- That's the end of the first thread
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