guerrero stuff

Bryan’s Friend Vince’s Tape Review and Karaoke Showcase

Eddy Stuff

        I woke up Sunday morning after being up way too late Saturday night, eagerly anticipating another day of football. Five minutes before the first game, I got an instant message from a buddy: “Did you hear about Eddie?” I knew this would be bad news. “Dead.” I tried to find more details, but at the time, there were no other details to be known. Not knowing what else to do, I broke out my WrestleMania XX DVD and skipped to the end, where Eddie and Benoit celebrated in the ring, best friends, twin kings of the world, conquering heroes. I put the whole thing in a loop and watched it over and over again. An hour passed. Finally I turned off the TV but left the DVD playing. Throughout the day I’d pass in to watch it three or four more times. It was the last thing I saw when I went to bed and the first thing I saw when I woke up the next day. After a while it was like watching Eddie say goodbye to Chris, which he never got to do in real life. Then I started thinking about the future. Someday – and hopefully not for 40 or 50 years or more – Chris Benoit is going to pass away. And when he does, I picture his arrival into heaven going exactly like this. He’ll find himself face to face with Eddie. Eddie will applaud. The two men will embrace and cry together again. Maybe that’s a security blanket my brain invented to help me sleep through the night. In any event, I feel like watching some Eddie matches, and since I’ve already reviewed his DVD, I’m looking elsewhere. As most of you know, wwe.com is offering free access to their 24/7 library this month, so I’m going to see what’s available there.

Ric Flair vs. Eddie Guerrero. This was from August of 1996, and Flair’s U.S. title was on the line. My God, WCW wasted this match on the rubes at Hog Wild. Eddie’s mullet alone had to make him the babyface with this crew. He came out to some generic song that was very poorly edited in, several levels of volume higher than anything else. I’m watching this on a 4-inch window on my monitor. The sound is perfect, the video quality is good enough. Flair came out with Woman and Elizabeth. You know how usually a wrestling show will have one hard camera focused on the ring, with a packed arena in the background? The only thing in the background here was a large green hill. Oh, and some motorhomes. If this were a videogame, this arena would be a hidden feature. I can’t believe I’m watching THIS match in THIS environment. Dusty Rhodes used the term “devilish women” over and over again. They did some stuff to show that Eddie wasn’t intimidated; Flair would shove Eddie, then Eddie would shove Flair and Naitch would bump. They’d do the same thing with slaps. Flair went to give Eddie a back suplex and something went horribly wrong. Eddie came down damn near on his head and Flair came up grabbing his wrist. Things slowed down as Eddie worked a headlock. Eddie was awesome then, but he would get LIGHT YEARS better over the following ten years, particularly his charisma and personality. Flair got the heat with an eyepoke. Fans started cheering for Eddie, then honking their horns. Let me repeat that: They HONKED their HORNS, because they were watching their show from motorcycles. Eddie made a comeback, dropkicking Flair off the apron. Flair took over again and FOULED~! him. Bobby Heenan made a tasteless joke and Tony Schiavone no-sold it. I forgot how horrible they were together, and they were together for YEARS AND YEARS. Eddie hit a drop toehold and hooked a figure-four. Flair fought and fought and got the ropes. Eddie grabbed Ric’s hand, climbed the ropes and hit a rana. My God, I just saw Ric Flair do LUCHA~! Eddie hit a tornado DDT for two. Flair went up top, but got was slammed off. Eddie hit a sunset flip and grabbed the trunks so Flair could show his ass to everyone. Eddie poked Flair in the eyes. CHEAT TO WIN! (Which was the precursor to Lying, Cheating and Stealing.) He hit the frog splash, but started selling his knee. Flair hit a Stan Hansen lariat, slapped on the figure-four and grabbed the ropes. He switched to grabbing Woman’s hands for leverage and Eddie was pinned. The announcers were going crazy pointing out that Eddie was in control until he made the mistake of hitting a frog splash with a hurt knee. This was some old school fun.

Chris Benoit & Eddie Guerrero vs. The Rock & Edge. This was from SmackDown in August of 2002. Rock was undisputed champion here. I’d forgotten he ever had that belt, but then I remembered he dropped it to Brock Lesnar. Rock and Eddie started and BROUGHT THE AWESOME. I think Rock and Eddie had one singles match, on Raw one time. I was hoping it would be available on 24/7, but not yet. All I remember is that Eddie took the GREATEST BUMP EVER off a simple punch. Anyway, Benoit came in and there was plenty of awesome to go around. Heels just started double-teaming Rocky for the heat. Rocky was so great because he made everyone else look good. I mean, he was nearly a foot taller than these guys, but it wasn’t obvious unless you paid close attention. It’s not like he was standing over them or throwing them around, he just worked his usual match. He made the hot tag to Edge, who made a big comeback on both heels. Finally they just double-teamed him to death. He fought free and reached for the tag, but Benoit hit a drop toehold and Eddie followed up with a hilo. That was a great spot right there. Eddie put on an Indian deathlock. Edge got the ropes. These guys were all WORKING THEIR ASSES OFF. Edge almost fought free, but Benoit cut him off and hit the rolling Germans. He went with a single leg crab. They set Edge up for a double superplex, but Edge broke it up. The resulting melee left all three men prone on the mat. Edge almost got the tag, but Benoit elbowed him off the apron to the floor. Eddie went for the punches in the corner, but Edge picked him up and hit a HYOOGE Big Dave Bomb. He teased the hot tag forever, then finally made it and Rocky went to town. Michael Cole pointed out that it was undisputed champ Rock against Intercontinental champ Benoit. Edge came in and speared Eddie, then went for one on Benoit but missed and hit the post. Rock took out Eddie with a Rock Bottom, then stood over Benoit. Brock Lesnar appeared on stage with a chair. Rock was distracted for just an instant, but Benoit pounced like a cobra and put on the crossface. Rock was trapped in the crossface and stared Brock down, then finally tapped out. This was PHE PHUKKING NOMINAL in so many different ways. Brock retreated up the ramp, but was jumped by Hulk Hogan, who laid out Brock with a chair.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Brian Pillman. And we turn the creepiness knob all the way up. This was from a Clash of the Champions in January of 1996. Pillman was getting in the face of fans, then shoved Schiavone, who replied with this grave warning: “Hey, stay away from me, fella!” What a bastion of manhood Schiavone is. Eddie worked a headlock back in the ring. He sent Pillman out of the ring with a dropkick. Pillman tried to hide behind Heenan. Heenan was eminently not cool with this. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” He got up and almost walked to the back, but eventually collected himself and returned to the table. He apologized for his language, then started calling Pillman a loose cannon. Eddie and Pillman lit into each other with chops. Eddie made a comeback with multiple dropkicks. He hit a tornado DDT, but Pillman kicked out. Eddie picked Pillman up and slapped the hell out of him. Pillman went for a cover with his feet on the ropes, but Eddie kicked out. Pillman hit a crossbody out of nowhere for the pin. He started throwing kicks at the announce table as they played the HORSEMEN THEME~! This was really just an angle to get Pillman’s character over.

OK, I’m going to cheat a little bit. I’m reprinting my review of Eddie vs. Brock from No Way Out in February, 2004. This is, frankly, one of my favorite reviews ever, of one of my favorite matches ever, probably the best David vs. Goliath match I’ve ever seen. It’s the biggest match of Eddie’s career. Some will say Eddie’s best match was with Art Barr vs. Santo and Octagon, or against Rey Jr. at Halloween Havoc, but as far as I’m concerned this was as good as he got. There is a bit in the middle that leaves me with a queasy feeling, but at the time it fit perfectly.

Eddie Guerrero d. Brock Lesnar to win the WWE title. This was from No Way Out in February of 2004. I miss Brock’s music, entrance video and promos. Oh, and his matches. I like the fan with the “BRING BACK STRIKE FORCE” sign. Eddie was, um, over. Cole pointed out this was Eddie’s first PPV main event. Brock started off throwing Eddie around, but Eddie wasn’t backing down. Brock ended up cornering Eddie and destroying him. Eddie should have backed down. Brock hit a MASSIVE backdrop. Eddie went for a diving rana, but Brock caught him, spun around and just tossed him aside. He followed up with some scary belly-to-bellys. He hit a high knee in the corner, which set up his spectacular bump later. Tazz was going crazy saying Eddie had no chance, to the point of overkill. Brock hit another belly-to-belly and Eddie bailed. Eddie kept trying to get back in, but Brock kept cutting him off. Eddie finally snapped Brock’s neck on the top rope. He grabbed Brock’s leg to wrap it around the post, but not until Brock had put up a LONG struggle and almost broke free. Eddie went to wrap the leg around the post again, but Brock pulled Eddie into the post. So far Brock was on offense for about 90 percent of the match. He lifted Eddie up in a fisherman’s suplex position, held him in the sky for several hours and finally hit a suplex. That got two. Brock went for a chinlock with bodyscissors. Eddie broke the bodyscissors with elbows to the ribs, but was still in the chinlock. He finally broke free with a jawjacker. He hit the ropes, but Brock caught him and pressed him. Eddie ducked behind and dropkicked the knee. He went for a second one but Brock lariated him to death. You’ll note that ten minutes in, Eddie had yet to hit more than two moves in a row. Brock went to work on Eddie’s back in the corner as a squad of security guys went crazy confiscating signs in the crowd. They missed the one reading “MARTY JANNETTY FAN CLUB.” Brock went for a high knee in the corner again, but Eddie dodged. Brock’s knee hit the top turnbuckle and he tumbled over the ropes to the floor, just like Rey Bucanero except that Brock weighs almost twice as much. God, that dude is freaky. Eddie followed with a plancha. They teased a double countout, then Eddie got his first real offense back in the ring. I think I counted four consecutive moves before Brock cut him off again with a hotshot. As Brock stood over Eddie talking smack, Eddie grabbed Brock’s leg and put on a heelhook, then switched it to an STF. Crowd went CRAZY for that. Brock powered free, but Eddie kept on the attack. This was fifteen minutes in, and was the first time they even hinted that Brock might be in trouble. Eddie went for a figure four, but Brock’s legs were just too damn big. Eddie kept going for leg submissions, but Brock kept fighting free. One belly-to-belly suplex ended that pattern. They teased a double KO as the crowd chanted “GOLDBERG!” Eddie came back and attacked the leg again, getting the figure four this time. Surprisingly little heat for that. I think the crowd had figured out the match wasn’t ending until Goldberg came out. Brock finally got the ropes. Eddie went to a modified sharpshooter, then switched back to the STF, and the crowd went crazy again. Is there some San Francisco legend who used the STF I’m not aware of? Brock powered out of it again. Brock went to a crossface chickenwing (!), then switched to a sleeperhold. Eddie fought free and went for a missile dropkick, but Brock dodged. Brock’s selling of the leg was awesome, to the point where he hit a ONE-LEGGED SUPLEX. Somewhere in here Brock got a bloody nose, which made it even cooler when he screamed “DIE EDDIE! JUST DIE!” He then tried to squeeze Eddie to death. “HE’S DEAD!” Sorry, Brock, no. Eddie finally got to his feet, but couldn’t break the waistlock and Brock hit a gutwrench suplex. Brock, frustrated, tried some amateur-style rollups, then tried to squeeze him more. Eddie appealed to the Lord, then broke free with a series of headbutts, of all things. He hit the rolling verticals. He went for the frog splash, but Brock dodged. Brock hit the F-5, but bumped the ref in the process. “GOLDBERG!” Brock went for the cover. No ref. Brock retrieved the belt from ringside. Goldberg finally hit the ring and speared Brock. Crowd went nuts. This left all three men prone in the ring as the crowd chanted Eddie’s name. He went for the cover, but by the time the ref recovered Brock kicked out. Always good to see fans jumping up and down after a nearfall, then stopping when they realize the match isn’t over yet. Eddie picked up the title and waited for Brock to stand up. He went for the beltshot, but Brock ducked and hit a kick. He went for the F-5, but Eddie turned it into a DDT onto (well, near) the belt. He hit the frog splash. The ref counted three. The building exploded. A chill ran down my spine. People were celebrating this like Red Sox fans after the World Series, frenzied, running, crying, jumping, embracing complete strangers. I remember that everyone, from wrestlers to writers to Internet marks to casual fans, knew that Goldberg was going to interfere and cost Brock the title, but when it actually happened it still seemed unreal. Eddie dove into the stands to celebrate with la raza. When you buy the DVD, you must use slow-mo, as slowly as possible, at the 34-minute, 12-second point in this match. Note the blond dude on the right side of the screen holding the disposable camera. Has there ever been a happier human being, ever? A tearful Eddie grabbed His Championship Belt and ran to embrace his mother and brother Mando, and some other Mexicans. Somebody tossed Eddie a flag, not the Mexican flag but some Mexican pride thingie. Eddie knelt with the belt at the top of the ramp and pointed to the sky, to God and Gory and Art and everyone. “Tonight, Eddie Guerrero will simply be known as W~! W~! E~! CHAMPION~!” screamed Cole, who I can now never hate again. **** 1/2 match, several million stars for the celebration.

And now I’m sitting here with a dark, empty feeling. I’m writing this on a cold, foggy night in Seattle. Outside my window, the first frost of the season has settled on the grass. I do take some solace in the fact that Eddie could have and should have died several years ago, but was blessed with time to put his life and family back together, make peace with God and reach the peak of his profession.

Q: Do you think fate brought you to this? A. I’ve asked myself that same question. I believe that in my life. I believe in God and Christ. I believe this is God telling me in some way, “Hey look, I do reward you when you’re willing to do the next right thing. I do reward you when you’re willing to make strides to work at your life, and change in general, and change for the better.” Becoming the WWE champion is a dream, but it’s more than that for me. It’s not just a title, it represents for me a way of life. A good way of life. Hey, I’m wearing here around my shoulder my good decisions. It takes a lot. You really got to work in life to make the right decisions. You just can’t say “OK, I’m going to make the right decisions” overnight. It doesn’t work that way. You got to work at changes. You got to work at change within yourself and within, and it takes a lot of work. – Eddie Guerrero, Byte This, March 12, 2004.