Jam Story

I never have any Jam in the house because brian blessed eats all of it. I went to the store the other day and bought 48 jars of jam, I came back, I put them all in the cuboard, put a lock on the cupboard, took the cuboard off of the wall, put it in a safe, put a safe inside of an even bigger safe, I then entered a random stream of characters as the password, I then burried the safe out in the woods, i then coated the woods in Tar and concrete, I then Dug up all of the woods, I put them on a spaceship, I drove it to the moon, I then blew a big hole in the moon. I put the woods in the middle of the moon, covered it back up, and then I knocked the moon out of orbit so it would go into deep space, the moon then intered another galaxy where there where these alien species that coated it in this diamond, sort of crystal glow. so it was like a snow globe, but with the moon inside. It was amazing, it looked so magical. And then I thought "aah, my jam will be safe." I then went downstairs the next morning to have a bit of jam on toast, but i couldn't because all my jam was buried on the F*cking moon. But at least it was safe from brian blessed.