tralallalala

Georgiana:
Good afternoon, and thank you for your attendance. Today you have myself, Press Secretary Georgiana Travers, alongside Junior Undersecretary Dame Katerina Mordaunt. Our agenda today is to properly address recent publications against the Ministry of Magic that have gone beyond the border of professionalism expected of major tabloids, but also an official apology on behalf of the Cabinet for the behaviour it has encouraged. As usual, please note down any questions you may have so as to not interrupt the release as they can be answered individually. Let's begin.

The Ministry of Magic is disappointed and saddened to once again convey it's condemnation of recent publications by The Daily Prophet critiquing the government in a unprofessional manner and painting several of it's officials in a negative light. The right to freedom of the press is one the Cabinet continues to enforce strictly and the sentiment that journalists are free to write as they wish is one that has been reiterated to several Head Editors in meetings with the press of late. However, propaganda and slander will not be tolerated. Personal attacks against Ministerial officials, such as the misogynistic comments made about the Chief Auror and the doubt cast on the mental health of the Minister for Magic himself, will not be tolerated. Make no mistake: the press is not above the law, and charges can and will be pressed against those who break it at the discretion of those made the subject of slander.

However, regardless of what is printed, be it legitimately fact-checked news with the proper sourcing or scandalous gossip, the message we deliver today - that personal attacks will not be tolerated - is twofold. The Cabinet hereby issues an official apology on behalf of Minister Yaxley for the personal comments made against members of the press in response to the allegations printed against him. Though they were not printed in fairness, it was beyond the realm of professionalism for such a high-ranking Ministry Official to respond in such a way, and he - and we all - convey our deepest apologies.

Moving on from the press specifically, Dame Katerina Mordaunt will now address key points, and deliver you an update on the Ministry's current focus: the Grecian Crisis.

Katerina Mordaunt steps to the podium.

Katerina:
Thank you Press Secretary Travers. I stand before you ready to give answers and information - something our Ministry is guilty of having not provided sooner. The hole left in our countries order of communication by the lack of a trusted publication has taken its toll, and the spread of misinformation and gossip will tonight be put to rest. Please do sit patiently for the information we have to share on the Grecian Crisis, as there is much to address before then.

In regards to articles recently published by The Daily Prophet, The Cabinet felt it appropriate to focus on each point as it comes. First and foremost, the more time our Ministry puts projects on hold to address issues such as misrepresentation or false information from the press, the more time our hand is forced to create moments like these, the less time and energy is being poured into matters of urgency and importance. The Daily Prophet has in the past been a pillar of information, one of our most beloved and oldest publications within Wizarding Britain due to the trust it has fostered over the decades with the Ministry of Magic and its numerous past Ministers. To publish an article falsely accusing the Ministry Press Secretary of begging for propaganda is slander in and of itself, and I stand here with the Cabinets support to assure the public that this will not be overlooked again. We are a Ministry that believes in second chances, in good faith. It is because of this that we have seen such incredible opportunities arise for ex-convicts, people who wish to make an earnest attempt at starting anew. It is for that same reason that Tobias Vortigern, a known ex-convict and undesirable, was offered an olive branch by Press Secretary Travers to become the first point of press contact, our most relied upon source of publication. Mr. Vortigern denied our offer, and is now seen making a routine of publishing and approving content which is legally considered slander. The Ministry of Magic understands that gossip makes money, but we also wish to stress to our public that we want above all for you to remain informed. It is your right.

There is a lot that must be addressed for the public to have a sense of truth. The article published by The Daily Prophet paints the home-owners, business owners and occupants of Knockturn Alley as criminals, dark wizards. We strive to make it as clear as possible to this country that Knockturn Alley will not be eradicated. It is not just home to criminals and this Ministry of Magic will never generalise it as so. It is home to countless legal businesses, honest and hardworking folk who cannot afford to live elsewhere in the rising house-prices within London. It is home to the majority of the wizarding populations homeless. These people consist of witches, wizards, squibs and beings alike of all ages. Vital private charities focusing on providing accomodation, support, job opportunities and nourishment for the homeless operate out of Knockturn Alley. They are not different from you and I, and they certainly do not deserve to be labelled as 'dark wizards' due to the place they call home. A business erected under the name "Mad Hatter" was founded by the now Head Editor, Tobias Vortigern. This business operated illegally out of Knockturn Alley by the ex-Undesirable, associated with the likes of Steven Castillo, Daniel Silvers, Milan Mordaunt, Aldo Admone and Evangeline Castillo. The Daily Prophet no longer serves to educate, inform, and entice our public with opportunities. Instead, misinformation serves only to enflame those with less than innocent intentions with anti-Ministry propaganda.

The concerns regarding the competence of our most recently promoted Head of Department for Magical Law Enforcements published in the press lately are false and without sufficient evidence to support speculation. Chief Auror Dame Linnea Flowers is a Knighted protector of our country, with numerous accomplishments under her belt who has most certainly earned her position. She has provided flawless service to this country for over a decade, and the Ministry of Magic would like to reassure the public that the assumptions made about her temperament are wholly untrue and slanderous. Misogyny is not to be tolerated in any form, and the promotion of such an archaic view is looked down upon by such a forward thinking Ministry, and United Kingdom. The retirement of Sir Samuel Harkin was entirely without negative intent or circumstance. Sir Harkin has been profusely thanked for his decades of flawless service, and stepped down of his own volition out of a desire to focus on family. An honourably chosen new profession. The Ministry of Magic will not comment on that topic further.

The Ministry of Magic would also like to issue a formal apology to the families of the children affected by Brayden Flamel and Violet Flowers. The manner in which their tragic incidents were addressed in the tabloids were without heart, and entirely unprofessional. Furthermore The Cabinet would like to express to the public that the manner in which the Ministry of Magic departments responded to the kidnappings was with the utmost speed and efficiency. Every resource was exhausted in an attempt to retrieve them safely. What happened to that group of children, and the pain that their families were inflicted, was not dealt by the incompetency of the Ministry of Magic. Instead, the fault lies with Brayden Flamel, a notorious criminal who cannot be reasoned with who is infamous for taking pleasure in the 'credit' and reaction he receives for his crimes. We urge periodicals to remain cautious with the content they publish surrounding public tragedies such as this, as it may only serve to enrage or embolden criminals who wish to act publically or against minors.

It is important to also clarify that no department within the Ministry of Magic will discriminate a witch or wizard based on their companion creature, nor do the public have any reason to fear any man or woman who may share their company with a Swooping Evil. No more so than they would anyone else. A swooping evil, like more than half of the animals inhabiting our planet, are carnivores. Although their venom can be incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands, it does not make an innocent creature inherantly evil. The venom of a swooping evil has been proven to contain crucial elements which can be used in the rehabilitation and therapy of traumatised patients. The Ministry of Magic would like to reassure the public that Minister Donovan Yaxley does not own a "dark creature". Our Minister is taking steps to understand a companion creature, to bond with a new member of his family, and educate himself appropriately. Accusing the Minister of Magic of "slacking off" to play with an animal in Level Fours sanctuary is false information. Our Minister of Magic may spend his free time as he wishes

One of the most crucial points we wished to address was press accusations that crime is on the rise - the Ministry of Magic would like to confidently inform the public that these wild assumptions are wholly false. Crime has been on a steady decline over the past decade, and Minister Yaxleys term is on its way to having just as successful arrest rates as the Ministers who came before him. Thanks to Lead Inspector Armistice Abernathy's hard work, we can present solid statistics for you. Minister Athena Numenyx, faced with not one but two dark reign uprising in her years as Minister had an MLE team who responded to 282 incidents, and 71.8% of arrests during her term resulted in convictions. The peace which began to settle during Minister Aeolian's term resulted in 95 incidents, and a conviction percentage of 72.2% of all arrests. The past year and a half of Minister Yaxleys term have seen the MLE team responding to a total of 37 incidents, with 66.6% of arrests resulting in a conviction. These statistics are not only being made public to reassure the United Kingdom that we are not faced with a crisis of crime, but also to urge the press to steer away from propaganda.

There is one last point to address before I will outline what we can so far reveal about the Grecian Crisis. I thank you for your patience so far.

Our Ministry of Magic in this day and age does not humour discrimination of any kind. Accusations that Chief Auror Flowers in some way possesses negative intentions due to her blood-relation to an ex-convict is not only discriminatory, but completely unhinges the progress our country has made in forgiving the actions of the past, and not blaming the son for the actions of the father. Our Ministry, this countries healthcare, the countless businesses run out of wizarding towns and cities all over the United Kingdom are littered with witches, wizards and beings who in their pasts may have made mistakes they wish to recover from. We do not discriminate against those who wish to make good with their lives. There are countless systems in place which aim to rehabilitate offenders so that they don't end up incarcerated again.
I stand before you transparent. I am Katerina Mordaunt, a direct blood relation of countless Mordaunts and Dark Lords who have turned to organised crime, violence, murder and more. Your Minister, Honourable Donovan Yaxley, is a distant blood relation of Corban Yaxley, a notorious Death Eater under Lord Voldemort. One of the MLE's brightest young Officers is Davos Frenlore, son of Olyvar Frenlore - Your Head of Department for Level Four, Karys Frenlore and your Senior Undersecretary Florence Scott are relatives, by blood or relation to that same man. Stood beside me, your Press Secretary Georgiana Travers is a relative of Emilie and Troy Travers. The Black Family. The Sullivan Family. The Snape Family. The Carrow Family. I could go on. We are not responsible for the actions of those we share blood with. I could name countless rehabilitated convicts that I am proud to call my allies and friends. That is entirely my point. We do not turn away those who wish to make a difference in their lives, those who wish for a fresh start. We encourage the tabloids to remember this when reflecting on the mistakes they have made in their past, which were forgiven to allow them the opportunities they now possess.

Thank you for your time. I will now pass the floor to Senior Undersecretary Florence Scott, who will deliver the information you have all been waiting for regarding the Grecian Crisis.

Following Katerina's departure from the podium, Florence steps up to deliver her speech regarding the Grecian Crisis.

Florence: On the 15th of February, The British Ministry of Magic received a broadcast from the Greek Ministry - situated in Athens - detailing that tragedy had stuck the city. Following an expedition to Greece, several artefacts were removed from an Ancient Temple by members of the Ministry and of an opposing party. Upon removal, these items triggered an awakening of Magical Creatures or a reaction either from a cult. This cult contains followers of Medusa and her sisters, it is speculated that they have since released Gorgons into the city of Athens.

Rest assured that the Ministry are doing all we can at this moment in time to locate the final artefact missing from the Temple. We have already reprimanded a Cultist who was spotted in the United Kingdom and he is awaiting questioning by the Magical Law Enforcement. Members of Level Three have travelled to Greece to assist with the crisis whilst the British Law Enforcement and Level Nine work together on an investigation into these artefacts and their magical abilities.

To keep members of the public safe, we ask that you do not approach any foreign items that appear to glitter and shimmer gold or silver. It may be linked to the missing artefact, and so you are asked to contact Magical Law Enforcement to retrieve the item. Otherwise, at this moment in time, we are not liable to release any more information regarding the crisis. We will keep you all updated should more information come to light.

If any members of the public have any more information that may be of importance, I implore you to seek out a member of the Magical Law Enforcement or Cabinet. Thank you for your time.