Thread 8: Stories 135-150

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>Applejack
"Mayor Mare"
'Spike'
~~~~~~

'Your ten o' clock is here.'

>Hn? Wow, ah'm slippin, totally forgot Ah' was seein' anyone today. Send 'em in... Mayor Mare? What're ya'll doin' clear in-

"DON'T REPLACE MEEEHEEHEE!"

>...Can already tell this visit is gonna be fun.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm a bad mayor! I'll do better! REALLY!"

>Jus' ta' clarify, huggin' mah leg is not helping.

"I know I never had any sort of law enforcement, the school was always staffed by ONE teacher, I always failed a winter wrap up, we had a road that lead right off a cliff for some reason that was only blocked off by a flimsy sign, the dam was never well maintained, I had no funds to repair the town hall and had to rely on you winning a competition, I needed Twilight to solve every problem even though she had only been there for like a week, I let everyone hide from Zecora like a bunch of creeps, and I did some unseemly things in my office, but I'll do better! REALLY!"

>Wow, Ah' have ta' apologize to Celestia for so many things...

"Just don't kick me ooooout! This is all I have!"

>That is, by far, the saddest thing ah've heard all month.

"Pleeeeease!"

>Ain't ya' elected or somethin'? Isn't that how a mayor works?

"...Well, yeah, but aren't you guys going to kick me out before that?"

>No? Didn't plan on it.

"...I have been fed some erroneous information, and feel as if I have overstepped my bounds."

>Yeah, that happened about when ya'll started rubbin' yer' tears against mah leg, if ya' want a more exact time.

"...Good day, Princess Applejack."

>Have a good one...

'...How the hell did she get elected?'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rainbow Dash
"Gilda"
'Lightning Dust'
~~~~~
"Well, well... How's your lame pony dream coming along for you, Dash?"

'Looks like being a Wonderbolt wasn't all it's cracked up to be. I see you've put on a lot of weight. Could you even fit through the hoops you gotta fly through anymore?'

>Huh? Oh, hey. If you two wanna sign up, application sheet's over there. For the love of Celestia though, fill it out properly. Fleetfoot was a smartass and claimed she was a griffon and her religion was "Smooze"

"Yeah, this looks like a sad, sad-"

"'Wait, what?!'"

>I said applications are over there if you two wanna get into the Wonderbolts. Soarin's in the next room if you need more details and we call back in about one to two weeks. We get a lot of applicants on the last day of the month-

'You want me to be a Wonderbolt? what about all that garbage you chewed me out for back at the Academy?'

"And what about your dweeb friends?"

>Well, Lightning Dust, I'm pretty sure you've learned you lesson, or you will learn your lesson when you begin training again. You WILL learn teamwork, even if it means holding yourself back to avoid upstaging your teammates. And, Gilda, honestly, Fluttershy can take care of herself now. Or Discord can take care of her for her. For both of you, what happened in the past is in the past, and my grievences were ultimately personal once, I'm not going to let that interfere professionally. In the grand scheme, I might be revising the Wonderbolts from the ground up, but I will keep an open door policy.

Gilda and LD are nearly vibrating with excitement then calm down.

'Oh! Well, um. That's cool, I guess I'll take an application.'

"Yeah... I'll see if I can fill it out if I have the time..."

>Well I look forward to seeing you two.

Gilda and LD calmly walk out of the office and proceed to go nuts with giddiness.

'Ohmygosh! We can be Wonderbolts!'

"I can be Dashie's friend again!"

"'Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!EEE!'"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"gilda"
'LD'
>Soarin
~~~~~
"Okay! Okay, we gotta play this cool!"

'Yes! being a wonderbolt is hard work, will involve hard training, and not just be all fun and games.'

They both then see Spitfire in her maid uniform pulling Soarin around in his office chair.

>Mush, firebitch! Mush!

"..."

'...'

"This is gonna be the best thing ever."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"AJ 42"
~~~~~~~

Sometimes, you just want to kick back, drink some spiked hot coco, and watch a masterpiece of romantic cinema, and the only thing standing in your way is the loud clang of metal being slammed against the floor.

>No, please, slam that harder, I think the floor is still in tact.

"What. The. Fuck."

>...Well, that tone was unexpected, what's the-

"What the fuck."

>Are you going to tell me what wrong-

"MAJESTY!"

>...

"How long these been active?"

>Don't know, never seen it before in my life-

"CHRYSALIS!"

>...A while.

"What do they do?"

>How am I supposed to-

"I am your most loyal servant, we both know this, but I can't just ignore this. If this is... if this is something for a future invasion, I have to know about it, you can't keep it from me."

>...Oh?

"Majesty I... they're all around the Empire. It's a total perimeter, with failsafe after failsafe, and these things are beyond well hidden. I only found them because of an accidental stray rocket. A ROCKET was needed to find ONE. And there are piles upon piles of machine parts out there, hidden just as well. This is..."

>...What if I tell you that yes, they're some kind of device I plan to use to take over the Empire and reign supreme, what then? Are you going to rush to Shining Armor? Will you warn him in advance?

"...I... N-no, I'm your soldier, Highness. I've never given you any reason to think I would go against you, right? This is... this is just something I need to know."

>Hmmm, yes, I suppose so.

"So what are they?"

>Oh, if you must know... haven't you wondered why we haven't been bombarded by robots like Canterlot?

"I actually had questioned that, a lot."

>Welll, neat little trick I learned.

Her eyes flickered red, a red so bright it almost seemed to be glowing.

>I can see a certain... wavelength. Learned it from dear Great Aunt Saturnia. Now, normally, it's as useless as every other trick I know, because nothing emits this wavelength, exceeept...

The device 42 has slammed down hummed to life. From another room, a slim piece of metal floated in, a chunk of the robot that had attacked Shining Armor.

>This. If this little device I swiped from Twilight is on, this metal glows an almost blinding light, it actually hurts my eyes clear from the castle. But it's oh so useful for... targeting. Thanks to this, anytime something comes even CLOSE to the boarders...

"You can kill it."

>Bingo. I can pop off a shot when nobody is looking, and down it goes.

"But, why keep this hidden? This is so useful."

>Useful to ME, and nobody else. If nerdlinger learned I can do this, she'd want to study me, figure out how I do what I do. Shiny would want me to tell you how to do it. 18 would want to learn how to do it. No. I am the Queen of the Changelings, and this is MY skill, no others. Understood?

A much larger hoof hooked under 42's chin.

>And now you are going to prove your loyalty to me, and not breath a word of this. Right? Not Shiny, not Cadence, not anyone.

"...Of course your Majesty."

>Goooood, now go off and re-bury those, I don't want anyone finding them. Be sure to add a bit of your own sneaky flair, make it your own. Okay?

"At once."

With a smirk, Chrysalis flopped back onto the couch, and 42 began to do as ordered, only to pause at the doorway.

"You don't have to protect him alone, you know. I'm... I'm strong, I can help. 18 can help. We're your servants, after all."

There was a deep, pregnant pause.

>Get to work, 42.

"...Of course."

The closing of the door was silent, and the steps down the hall equally as so as the warrior spirited away to do the task ordered. She would do her task efficiently, Chrysalis was sure of that. What she wasn't as sure on was the Changelings words.

>...Right, because he's the only one I need to keep safe.

She couldn't keep down the cocky scoff in her throat.

>You guys would be dead in a week without me.

Satisfied, she unpaused her movie, and forgot about her troubles.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"RBD"
>Gilda
--------
"Alright, your is mostly all in order, even used block capitals like it specified, nice touch."

>Remind me again which of us had the better writing in flight school?

"You have claws dummy, of course you're going to be better than someone who has to use her mouth."

>And?

"Aaand some of us may have slacked off to go racing instead of doing their homework, yadda yadda yadda."
"It was flight school! We were supposed to be flying all the time!"

>Just like the wonderbolts are supposed to be flying all the time instead of doing paperwork?

"Point, beakface."
"Anyway, i said your form was 'mostly' in order.
"I thought i asked you to fill this out properly, just because i'm your friend doesn't mean i'm going to let you put jokes in your paperwork."

>You think i'm that much of dweeb to mess up a wonderbolts application on purpose?
>Where's this 'joke'?

"Right there. "Religion: NA Smooze." It's not funny, has never been funny and will never be funny to put the name of that fake cult in that spot, even if you put Non Applicable right next to it."

>You haven't heard about New Age Smooze?

"What."

>Yeah, it's all about the metaphorical, how every griffon, pony, manticore, whatever, are all a part of something much larger than themselves and constantly adding new parts to the whole just be living their lives.
>Theres a group of us who also think we're a form of entertainment for higher beings, but they just get laughed at.

"Ignoring the question of why they chose the name "smooze" for that, i never took you to be the religious type.

>To tell the truth i only joined because Cloudstep, that chick we got wasted with back in school? Let me crash at her place for a week after my place got trashed and wouldn't shut up about it the whole time i was there.

"You need a place to stay? I could probably pull some strings and get you a room in the castle, this place is huge enough that it would probably be a month before anyone noticed.

>Dash, you're already giving me a dreamjob, letting you give me a roof over my head just on top of that would make me a super-dweeb.

"Alright, you win, the offers open whenever you need it though."

>Thanks D.

"Not a problem G."

>This is going to sound really gay but, does this mean we're friends again?

"Like i said last time, whats past is in the past."
"But yes, we're friends again."
"Now get out of my office, i'll let you know how things work around here in a couple days."

>Alright, you're the boss. Literally.

"Damn straight, oh and if you see spitfire on your way out could you tell her my laundry should be almost ready."

>Remind me never to do what she did.

"Oh, i'll make sure of it.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Spike’’
__________

>‘Tia, c’mon now… Ah feel right silly….

“By my own light, this is too perfect. You look gorgeous! Why didn’t you tell me you did this?”

>It’s… n-no, it’s not somethin’ Ah do, Ah jus’ had to prove a point….

“Point proven! Your Applejewel attire is magnificent, hard to believe you put it together yourself. Go on and give me a little twirl, you sexy mare you.”

>…Ah wanna die.

“And you’re blushing! Too cute! Where’s a camera? I need a camera! Here, hold on, if I just put this strand of hair here… and then puff up the back a little like this….”

>H-hey! Watch those hooves! That’s mah rear!

“And what a rear it is, just hold still!”

>Land sakes…

“There! Now, gimme a big ol’ sexy pose.”

>How ‘bout we jus’ get back to work? Those invoices-

“Can wait. Pose. Now. Or I’ll call Chrysalis in here.”

>NO! Consarnit… o-okay, what about this?

“More pouting! Where’s the pouting?”

>Who are y’all, Photo Finish?

“Less talk, more lip!”

>…better?

“Yes, now turn around and really make it stick out, almost face-down and plot-up but not quite. Make it look as natural as possible!”

>Y’all can’ be serious!

“Do it and I’ll cut my cake rations in half for the next month.”

>…oh, y’all’re cruel… Fine! H-here… is this good?

“Perfect. And nooooow the finale!”

Celestia pulled open the room door to reveal a very confused and annoyed Spike who’d been summoned some time ago and asked to wait outside.

‘It’s about time! I was wondering when… when you’d… I….’

>Sp-Spike! Ah- wait, this get-up, Ah can explain-

But before she could, a torrent of blood burst from Spikes nose and he fell over backwards with a floor-quaking thud, the dopiest grin on his face.

>Ah… wuh… did Ah jus’ moon Spike?

“Moments like these help me to retain my sanity. Feels great.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
[???]
~~~~~~

>...

"...What are you doing?"

>I'm TRYING to see who is taller, me or you.

"...And?"

>The horn size is skewing it.

"Well, clearly I'm taller."

>It's skewing it in my favor!

"I look taller without the horns."

>It's the hair. It's, like floating.

"It counts, unlike the horn."

>How does a natural thing growing out of my head not count, but magically floating hair does?

"Because I said so."

>Bullshit! I'm taller!

"I'm taller!"

>I'm taller you sun plastered twit!

"I'm taller you goo eating insect!"

>Semen colored whore!

"Cock hungry trollop!"

>BITCH!

"YOU'RE QUEEN BITCH!"

>AND PROUD OF IT! IT IS SO ON!

"BRING IT OOOOOOOON!"

~~Later~~~

[What in tarnation were ya'll thinking!?]

>Minor disagreement on height issues.

"Really, Applejack, no need to over blow this."

[HALF THE CASTLE IS DESTROYED!]

>I'm a "Half a castle is not destroyed" kind of Changeling.

"I too share her optimistic view on things."

*THUMP!*

>Should she be foaming out of her mouth like that?

"Seems like an unnatural reaction, we should probably tell her to see a doctor about it. More tea?"

>Would love some!
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>Spike
"Fawntaine"
'Clerk'
[Charity]
~~~~~~

>I'm here for my appointment with Mr.Fawntaine.

'You must be Mr...'

>Just Spike is fine.

She presses the intercom
'Mr. Fawntaine, your 3:00 is here. His name is Spike.'

"Send him in..."

'Mr. Fawntaine will see you now.'
Spike enters a pair of double doors and finds Fawntaine sitting behind a desk with a big window behind him. Fawntaine is a deer with large antlers and wears a tie.

"Now what brings a dragon, to my fine establishment?"

Spike pulls out a badge.
>I'm a Royal Equastrian Agent sent here to investigate in the name of the princesses.

"My my. I'm attracting some big players. What are ya here to investigate?"

>As you may have heard. There's been multiple attacks involving the use of anti-material rifles and robots.

"Anti what? I can assure ya, I have no idea what that is. While we've created some modern wonders here at Fawntaine Futuristics, we haven't been successful at making our own robots yet."

>...cut the crap.

"I beg ya pardon?"

>I know, you've been supplying raw materials and parts to someone. I want to know who!

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about."

>I've been checking where all your shipments have been going and some of it don't add up. There's been a lot of material that's been going to a bunch of different warehouses, but when I check them out, they're completely empty.

"We ship them to wherever they need to go. Mostly empty warehouses to store for later use. It's not our fault they go...missing afterwards."

>Then there's the unusual amount of bits you've been receiving.

"Simply donations from a mysterious benefactor. They believe in the future of Fawntaine Futuristics."

Spike grabs Fawntaine by the tie and drags him on to the desk. He points Charity at Fawntaine's head. There's a scope attachment with a smiley face in front
>Where is the metal going!

"I've already told you they're going to empty warehouses for-"
Spike pistol whips him.

>Where is the material going!

Camera focuses on the Charity's smiley face
[You should answer him, dear. You won't like him angry.]

"Are you talking with your gun? Are you crazy?"
Spike pitol whips him.

>Oh-hoe I'm quite crazy buddy.

[Really darling, you better give him something otherwise he's going to get serious.]

>If you don't tell me what I want to know I'm going to blow your antler off.
Cocks Charity

[He'll do it too.]

"But I don't really know where they're-" *BANG*
Spike shoots Fawntaine's left antler off.
"AAAAAARRUUUUGH!!!"

>STOP LYING TO ME!

[I told you he'd do it. Why don't you tell him what he needs to know? This would be a lot easier if you did that.]

"I'm telling ya I don't know what ya-"

The clerk opens the doors
'Mr. Fawntaine? I heard a noise! What's going on?'

"Call security!"
Spike jumps over the desk and while still holding on to the tie, he smashes him through the window, leaning Fawntaine over the edge. His hind legs barely standing on the edge with Spike's grip on the tie holding Fawntaine up.

>Call security and I'll drop him!

'Uh...Sir?'

Spike points Charity at Fawntaine's head
[Oh Fawntaine, we could have done this the easy way, but I guess there's just no way I can stop this dragon from shooting you in the face and dropping you. Not necessarily in that order.]

"Okay! Don't call security! I'll talk, just pull me up!"

>Where are the shipments going!?

"After I drop the shipments off, they go to Apploosa! Pull me up!"

>Yeah right. We would have heard something if there was that much stuff being transported there. Tell me the truth!

"I am telling the truth! There's an airship that's being used as a mobile sky factory. They're assembled there! They pay good bits to not ask too many questions, so I don't know any more than that! I swear! Now pull me up!"


[See? Was it so that hard to cooperate with us?]
Spike throws him back to his desk and walks out the door.

>Thank you for your time.
He closes the door behind him.

[Sweetie, did we really have to shoot off his antler?]

>They grow back. Besides, what I really wanted to do was send a message...
He holds up an enchanted helix shell to his ear and the voice of Fawntaine can be heard.

"Hello, FlimFlam? Yeah, it's me....There's trouble..."

>...I'm coming for them.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"AJ 2"
'Cadence'
-AJ 18-
[42]
{Chrysalis}
~~~~~~~~

>You're doing amazing sweetie!

"WHEEE! ICE SKATIN' IS THE BEST!"

'Woo! It's so much fun! Why don't we do this more often?'

-Hey guys? TWO HOOVES!-

[Pfft, that's nothing! Check it, backwards and I'm not even looking.]

>Be careful now!

"I'm fine, Shiny!"

>No, uh... I meant her.

{This... is... such... BULLSHI-}

*THUMP!*

>You okay?

{Just fucking peac-GAH!}

*SMACK!*

{WHY IS THIS SO HARD-AH!}

*CRACK!*

"...Is not-mom gonna die?"

'We'll wait and see, honey.'

{OH SCREW YO-AHHH!}

*CRASH!*

>...Crud. Get the training skates.

{I DON'T NEED ANY-OHNO!}

*CRUNCH!*

>...
"..."
'...'
-...-
[...]

{...Maybe I'll try them on to humor you.}
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
[???]
~~~

>TWILIGHT!

"GAH! How did you get into my lab!?"

>No time! There's a time travel spell, right!?

"What? Yes, but-"

>Tell me it!

"...Whhhhhhy?"

>I was watching this film, "The kiss on the river water"- four out of five stars by the way- and they gave me the most brilliant idea!

"Four?"

>There was a pigmy pony in it, those creep me out.

"Ah."

>ANYWAY! Point is, the plot of the movie was that the main love interest died in the movie, but the hero couldn't just go back and stop her from dying without destroying the universe, so the hero had to go back to a time when it was possible to split the timeline and save her life!

"Aaaand?"

>And he went back to her senior prom! So, I figure, all I have to do is go back, win Shiny over before he and Cadence even start dating, and then-

A strange distortion suddenly filled the air, and like a bolt of lightning the world ripped apart. Out from the light, another Chrysalis stepped forward. There was a strange armor covering her chest and body, and half of her face seemed to be nothing but machine. She walked up to her original counterpart, and smacked her across the head.

[Nnnno. No. Bad past-Crissy.]

>Awwww, it didn't work?

[Nope. Worked fantastic. A little too fantastic.]

A hoof reached up and undid a hidden latch on the chest armor, pulling it back and revealing a gaping cavity with a mechanical heart beating beneath.

[She conquered the entire planet, in case you were wondering. Currently is trying to blot out the sun.]

>...

[Yeah, she's more crazy than the bastard child of Pinkie and Discord hopped up on pop rocks and cocaine. Also, kind of a bitch.]

>...

[Seriously, consider getting your tubes tied. And don't go back in time, shit gets crazy.]

In a flash, she vanished.

>...DAMN! Okay, time to go get another plan ready. Thanks anyway, Twilight!

She raced off, leaving the gaping Twilight behind without a care.

"...Oh sweet Celestia, I helped her... I need an intervention."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Applejack stood before Diamond Tiara, Spike, Seventy Seven, and Forty Two with an extremely grave expression.

"Fer tha past few months, more an' more robots 'been attackin' folks. No one's died yet, praise tha sun, but this has already gone on too long! Tha four o' you represent tha best in Tha Empire an' Equestria's best, whether self-taught, 'r..." Applejack trailed off.

"Self taught..." Forty Two aided when it became clear that, honestly, for being the 'best soldiers' in the land, none of them had formal training of their own and experience and personal practice made them what they were.

Applejack nodded. "Ya'll already have a bit o' history together as friends, rivals, 'r peers, an' Ah know all o' ya, in yer own ways, have been contributin' tha most to stoppin' tha robot problem. So Ah wanna make this official."

Applejack gestured to the 'A' pins before them.

"Ah want ta name ya'll Alpha Team, tha first strike in our taskforce 'gainst tha robots as part o' tha new Avenger Initiative."

Spike picked his pin up without a second thought.

Diamond Tiara quirked a brow. "You really want me, a child, to serve as a soldier and go out on missions to kill robots?"

Applejack suddenly became nervous about what she was asking of a child. but before she could answer the filly snatched up the pin with a bright smile.

"Awesome! let's do it!"

Seventy Seven and Forty Two though paused and looked between one another, and nodded once letting Forty Two speak for them. "This changes nothing about our loyalties to our queen or the hive. If any order we receive contradicts that, we walk."

Applejack just nodded. "Ah wouldn' dare ask it o' ya. This is ta help tha hive too, ya know."

"Then we're both in." Seventy Seven grabbed the remaining pins and offered one to his fellow changeling.

"Good, Ah understand our enemies have a certain way o' gettin' 'round. Ah think ya'll need yer own. Twiligh'?"

Twilight Sparkle then stepped out wearing a huge smile. "Come with me, please."

The group followed Twilight, not into her surreal lab lost in sub-space, but instead into a hollowed out cavern beneath the peak of Canterlot where Applejack just smiled and the new A-Team all went slackjawed and wide eyed.

A beautiful, state-of-the-art airship, sleek, new, and clearly with more than enough room for the four of them was suspended in the air, soundlessly and without a gasbag.

"Say 'hello' tot the Highwind! I built it for speed, stealth, and durability in that order. She doesn't have much in the way of guns, but I guess you can push some bombs out of the cargo bay if you need to siege a place-" Twilight trailed off, noticing the strange and strained expressions on all four. "Uhh, you okay?"

"We-... We came." Spike breathed out.

Applejack just looked down and took a step back.

"Uhh... Cleanup on Aisle Four..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
-???-
~~~~~

>Hey, sunbitch, you seen my-HEY!

"This isn't what it looks like!"

>You stole my thong!?

"...This is exactly what it looks like. Also, before you ask, I need to ask you something. Where did you find one in this size? All the ones I find are so tight they sink in my skin and get caught up in there."

>I used my cloth stretching magic on it!

"You have cloth stretching magic?"

>Yeah, but it has the drawback of making anything I stretch much less durable. Those were made out of what amounts to kevlar before I zotzed them.

"They feel like easily rippable pantyhose."

>They likely are, so get them off your fat-

-DAT ASS!-

>...SHINY!? Wow, did not expect you.

-Wow, Celestia! You finally found ones that fit and don't sink in?-

>Chrysalis did it. Long story.

-Ten out of ten.-

>...

"...What? Oh! Yeah, we used to do this all the time back when he was working for me."

-First year I was here, every other week had me watching her try on different clothing.-

"He caught on quick I was trying to mess with him, too quick. Had to do lots of different stuff to get a reaction."

-Ahhh, we had fun!-

"We did. It's a shame we never do anything anymore, pantyhead."

-Yeah well, that's how it goes when we're both running kingdoms, deepthroat.-

>Deepthroat?

"Oh! Hold on, you have to hear this...*Clears throat*... Hey, baby, those are some fine lookin' drawers ya' got there."

-PFFFTHAHAHAHAA! You can still do the dude-speak!? HAHAHAHA! You need to show Two sometime, it's a riot!-

"HAH! I do! She'll get a kick out of it."

>...I'm uh... I'm going to go do stuff. You keep the thong, I don't need it anymore.

"I'll reimburse you, of course. Hey, Shiny, wanna go again for old times sake?"

-Eeehhh, sure, why not! I'll get the sombrero.-

Chrysalis was sure, as she stumbled out, that eventually everything that just happened would make sense in her head.

Surely.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Gilda
"Rainbow Dash"
~~~~~
Rainbow Dash is filling out papers in her office when Gilda walks in with her head, literally, on backwards and a trail of eggs dropping from her read.

"Holy-! G, what happened to you?"

>Ba-cawk! I mean- Well, I know you said Klutzershy can take care of herself these- BAWK! Days, so I was curious and wanted to put it to the test for old time's- Cockadooledoo!!!! Sake.

"Aaaaaand Discord caught you."

>Ba-caw! Before I was even close.

"Well, I'm not even going to give you a warning for this one, seems like you learned your lesson enough."

>Totally- POLLY WANNA CRACKER! - And yet, I regret nothing- UGH! So... Scrambled eggs for the whole team?

"G, you are sick, woman, totally sick! Let's send them to the Castle kitchens instead and let them put it in Celestia's cake!"

>Who's the sick one now- BRAWK!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rainbow Dash
"Spitfire"
'Soarin'
~~~~~
Rainbow Dash is going over the accepted new recruit profiles with a satisfied look when she gets to Lightning Dust's. Inside there's an additional photo of LD in sexy lingerie with a note that reads "I wanted to thank you for giving me another chance, if you want a bigger thank you, come to my place sometime."

>... Holy shit.

"See? This is why I had the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy."

>Look, not matter what kind of flirting I end up getting from Lightning Dust or Fleetfoot, I'm not reinstating that policy. I mean look at how much happier and confident Soarin is!

'Captain, I am not gay!'

>Well, no need to feel pressured to come out now, just know that kind of thing isn't important anymore.

'ARGH!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~
Cadence sits does her nails as she reads the paper, her heart stops briefly when she sees the headliner "An Empire Mourns the Loss of Prince Shining Armor". Her pupils shrink to pin pricks and out of the corner of her eyes, she sees a calendar and laughs.

She had to show this to the others. Rushing into the living room, she finds 42, 18, Chrysalis, and 2, their black chitin nearly turns white when they see what Cadence is holding.

"Hey! You wouldn't believe it! For April Foal's day they published Shiny's obituary! Where is he? He has to see this!"

Instead of laughter, 2 breaks down crying while Chrysalis and 18 become morose.

"Who gave her that newspaper?! Who was it?!" 42 screamed at the servants, Cadence seemingly unaware of why no one found this funny. But her eyes, her eyes told the world, she knew, but she could not accept it.

NON CANON, BASED ON A COMIC
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