My Dream

For most of the dream, I was in some kind of a cart or something.  Horse-drawn, sort of, but the thing pulling it was... I dunno, sort of both a horse and not a horse at the same time.  I was traveling around with a group of... people?  I think they were mostly people most of the time.  We traveled around suburbs full of castles and shit, as well as countrysides and sometimes giant cities with no cars around and apparently nobody anywhere except the buildings we went into.  I remember being really jealous of someone's castle at one point, for some reason.  There was another point where we were going along some highway and the cart was simultaneously a cart and a minivan, but also was slightly a little bit of a sports car of some sort.  To the left, there was a river, and across the river, some rolling hills with what we thought were giant skunks at first, but it turned out they were in fact giant badgers, and they started fighting for some reason, possibly as part of some bizarre mating ritual.  Eventually, we ended up in one of those giant empty cities, where we parked outside of this one shop, started acting like soldiers about to storm the place, and then instead just walked in.  While we were in there, one of the people with us was my sister, who, for some reason, was sleepily and/or drunkenly saying something about her baby's clothes being really really big (she did not have a baby and she was not present for any other part of the dream).  Meanwhile, the scene cut to outside, where two of the people in my party were, for some reason, giant LEGO minifigures.  One was a pirate and cut the other into pieces with her sword.  The other one then reformed, and the pirate exclaimed that the other was the Lich King.  Back inside the shop, I was aware of this, but acted as though I was not aware, because I wasn't supposed to see it, I was facing the other direction and they were behind the cart so obviously my character could not have seen it and therefore I could not know it.  Then we all went off to one of those suburbs, where we placed torches on the cart that looked like minecraft torches but were different colors and had effects of some sort.  Green ones fended off miasma clouds, purple ones repelled zombies (which looked like minecraft zombies), red ones attracted demons but made them unable to get close enough to the cart to harm us, and yellow ones just made everything smell like piss.  I don't know why we even put those on the cart, but we did.  After some time of waiting for the zombies to go away while stopped in the middle of the road, a farmer-looking guy came out of a very blocky castle that looked like it was some sort of voxel thing with low-res , pixely, shitty-looking textures.  He had a HUGE bulge in his pants, and I couldn't stop staring at it, but everyone else didn't even seem to notice it was there.  He talked with us about something I couldn't even hear because I was paying too much attention to the bulge.  I don't remember what happened after that, but I woke up this morning on my couch even though I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in my bed last night and I felt like I was hit by a truck.