the ring thing 2

0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,277
[clattering]

2
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:15,148
[squeaking]

3
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:45,745
[girl] Mom, what is
happening with the piles?

4
00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:50,150
[mom chuckles]
Don't be criticizing
my piles, OK?

5
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,218
You should have seen it
a few days ago.

6
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,054
OK, I won't
criticize your piles.

7
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,456
This is good,
these are good piles.

8
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,624
OK.

9
00:00:57,624 --> 00:01:00,693
-Is it all gonna fit?
-Yes.

10
00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:02,629
I've thrown away a lot of stuff.

11
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,564
OK.

12
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,400
So what am I supposed
to do with this?

13
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,802
That's all your crap.

14
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,371
If you want it,
take it, and if not,

15
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,206
we're throwing it away.

16
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,340
OK.

17
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,709
All my crap, understood.

18
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,346
That's pure me crap.

19
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,182
[laughing]

20
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:26,853
Sarah tantrum face.
You still make that face.

21
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,325
Oh, you were really a fat baby.

22
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:35,295
Look at that.
Look at all those chins.

23
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,831
[laughing]

24
00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,101
What's this?

25
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:44,571
That's John's wedding ring.

26
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,739
I don't know what
that's doing in there.

27
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,410
You can throw that away.

28
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:21,901
-Ahoy.
-What?

29
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,603
Matey.

30
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,239
[laughing]

31
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:28,575
-Oh, hi.
-Hey.

32
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,412
-How are you?
-I'm happy to see you.

33
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:33,546
How are you?

34
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,682
Happy to see you.

35
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,886
-How was your day?
-It was good.

36
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,823
-There was a lot of dust.
-Look at you, animal.

37
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,492
Look at how much sand
you just brought on.

38
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:51,331
[laughing] Sorry, just want to
make a castle later, you know?

39
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:55,468
-Dust, lots of dust.
-Lots of dust.

40
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,370
Lots of boxes.

41
00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:00,340
-Lots of treasures.
-Ooh.

42
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:07,280
But, ooh, Susan's gonna
give us her cuisine art thing.

43
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,983
-Cuisinart?
-Yes.

44
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:11,851
[laughing]

45
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:14,787
She says hi. And she's giving us
stuff for the kitchen, so...

46
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,923
-OK, cool.
-You know I don't

47
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:20,460
-go in there.
-Cuisine art.

48
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:23,830
That makes more sense,
you asshole.

49
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:29,569
Oh, you keep me young.

50
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:32,805
-Would you like wine?
-Yes, please.

51
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:38,544
Hey, hey, lookie, lookie.

52
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,648
Cool, right?

53
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,518
What do you think?

54
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,457
[laughing]

55
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,964
[sighing]

56
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:02,802
I mean it's my
dad's ring, so, it's...

57
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,807
I mean, I found it today.

58
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,744
And it's kind of weird and cool.

59
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,515
Mm-hmm.

60
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,484
-What is happening right now?
-What's happening right now?

61
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,487
[both chuckle]

62
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,057
Oh, did you just think
that I was proposing to you?

63
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,025
-Shut the front door.
-No.

64
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,960
-Sarah Watson.
-Kristen.

65
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:32,632
What? What just went
through your head?

66
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,435
Do you know who I am?

67
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,104
I don't know, Sarah,
we're at a beautiful beach.

68
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,640
-Uh-huh.
-I brought wine.

69
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,108
We've got cheese.

70
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,912
-You did this to me.
-And you pulled it out.

71
00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,382
It was a set up.

72
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:52,118
-I'm sorry.
-You're right, I framed you.

73
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,487
I'm so sorry, come here.

74
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:57,890
-No.
-Come here,
little pookie monster.

75
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,359
What's a pookie monster?

76
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,728
You, you are a pookie monster.

77
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,063
Hey.

78
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,900
-[Sarah] I'm the worst.
-[Kristen] Yes.

79
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,770
[Sarah] But this has
already been established.

80
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,441
I hate you and I love you.

81
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,143
I love you and I love you.

82
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,811
[both laughing]

83
00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:20,847
Cool.

84
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,152
[sighing]

85
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,992
You think the water's cold?

86
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:34,961
Yep.

87
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,999
[Sarah] Do you want
to walk in it, anyway?

88
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,568
[Kristen] Sure.

89
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,420
[Sarah] What do you think?

90
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,168
How did you make that happen,

91
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,769
and when did you
make that happen?

92
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,204
[Kristen] Alchemy.

93
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,807
Ah, I didn't know
you were practicing.

94
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,042
-Wanna try it?
-Mm-hmm.

95
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,515
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-It's good?

96
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,951
-Oh, my.
-Oh, my goodness.

97
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,988
Happy anniversary,
my two favorite people.

98
00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,089
You shouldn't have.

99
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,492
Thank you, that's beautiful.

100
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,527
Well, do you want to
blow out the three

101
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,662
and I'll hit the zero?

102
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,096
-Sure.
-All right, you ready?

103
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:47,500
-Sounds like a plan.
-One, two, three.

104
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,068
[laughing]

105
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:52,238
-Well done. I remember.
-[man] You remember.

106
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,640
-[woman] Look at that.
-[man] Wow.

107
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:59,045
-Yes, yes, yes, yes.
-[woman] Ruining my cake.

108
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,547
...hold it?
We're going to take a picture.

109
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,549
-Oh, with the three.
-[woman] Yeah.

110
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,552
[man] Yeah, there you go.
Happy three years to you.

111
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,921
[woman] Go. One, two, three.

112
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,090
-I think it's bursting.
-Did you get it?

113
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,259
-I think so. One more because--
-[man] It happens.

114
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:18,731
-So work. How's it going?
-[Kristen] It's work.

115
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:23,002
-[woman]
That doesn't sound good.
-I mean...

116
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,005
We got people coming and going

117
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,774
and it's a lot of
extra stress for me,

118
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,177
-but it's OK.
-[woman] I know, but everything

119
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,280
that's worthwhile,
work while you're stressed,

120
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,750
-you know?
-It takes a little...

121
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,119
-...monkeying.
-[woman] I know.

122
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:43,289
-It's fine.
-[woman]
I wish you sounded happier.

123
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:48,661
I should get a knife
and cut this sucker up.

124
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,599
Are you the same...

125
00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:55,902
Are you the same person
I was talking to before?

126
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,737
[man on phone indistinct]

127
00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,673
OK, well, can I please
be connected with them?

128
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,810
Ahh...

129
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,947
An individual plan?

130
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:12,118
No, I'm a freelance worker.

131
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,720
I've been on the phone
for like an hour,

132
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,923
do I really have to
go through this again?

133
00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:19,992
I can call back tomorrow,

134
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,029
but I'm supposed to go
to the doctor tomorrow.

135
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:28,200
No, I'm not going to pay out
of pocket, that's ridiculous.

136
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,304
[sighing]

137
00:09:55,962 --> 00:10:00,066
-What is this?
-It is risotto.

138
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,301
-Smells so good.
-Want some?

139
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,836
Mm-hmm.

140
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,741
[laughing]

141
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:10,309
-Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Good?

142
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:15,681
-It needs something.
-I don't know.

143
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,284
-Tastes good to me.
-Lemon zest.

144
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,285
Yeah.

145
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:24,290
Oh, I have a meeting at
eight tomorrow morning.

146
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:28,761
-Can you move the car?
-Uh... Yep.

147
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:32,298
Not gonna go to the doctor,
so, that's cool.

148
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,134
-Sarah.
-Kristen.

149
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,337
-You need to
go to the doctor.
-I don't have health insurance.

150
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:41,240
-There's no point.
-There's a point,

151
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,908
and it's keeping you healthy.

152
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:48,280
-It just makes me...
-I know, I know, I know.

153
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,383
But I'll pay it.

154
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,785
-Please just go.
-We could do

155
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,687
so many other things
with that money.

156
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:57,723
It's not urgent,
so I'm just gonna sort it out

157
00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,792
-and then--
-Yeah, but it'll get urgent.

158
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,895
It's god damn health
insurance, man.

159
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:06,132
You should just be on mine
and make it easy.

160
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,869
If we could be
domestic partners,

161
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,804
then you could
probably get on it.

162
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:16,976
Oh. Yeah.

163
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:20,746
-Yeah. How do we do that?
-I don't know.

164
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:23,449
It may be more complicated
than that, I don't know.

165
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,950
-Let me talk to HR.
-OK.

166
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,752
-But.
-Yeah, and you know,

167
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,288
I could look into that
tomorrow, too, if you wanted.

168
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,257
Oh, my God,
that would be amazing.

169
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,893
That would be.
We need you covered.

170
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:35,728
[phone buzzing]

171
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,767
Thanks for joining
us here at the Spoon,
Halloween edition.

172
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,003
Don't forget to subscribe below.

173
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,438
And join us next week,

174
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,840
when we take a
little field trip.

175
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,177
We're going fishing,
before we make fried fish tacos.

176
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:55,081
So grab your flippers,
let's reel in that catch,

177
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,417
-and happy haunting, spirits.
-[man] And cut.

178
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,386
Very nice, everyone.

179
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,988
-OK.
-Good luck with your...

180
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,156
[shutter clicks]

181
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:05,991
-[woman] Kristen.
-Yeah.

182
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,161
-Stepping out.
-[woman] So, remember Julie

183
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:10,730
I used to work with?

184
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,265
-Uh, yeah, crazy Julie?
-Crazy Julie.

185
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,433
She called me last night.

186
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:16,335
She heard about
the new EP we have.

187
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,003
-Uh-huh.
-She worked with him

188
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:20,740
about six months ago
at Food Park.

189
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:25,211
Apparently, he's a sports guy.
Never worked with food.

190
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:28,247
He came in, fired everybody.

191
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:33,119
-Went in a completely
new direction.
-Apparently, he's a real ass.

192
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,454
[Kristen] He's gonna be no
different than the last guy
we had six months ago

193
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,857
and the guy before that,
it's fine, OK?

194
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,092
It was so simple when it
was just you and me, you know?

195
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,161
Well, it's their call.

196
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:46,766
It's a little extra stress,
but we'll get by, don't worry.

197
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,783
-OK.
-I'm listening.

198
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,318
[Sarah] I loved it.
We are almost out of here, baby.

199
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,954
-[man] Let's go.
-Somehow we dropped

200
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:12,358
a frame at like minute three,
but we just fix that,

201
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,161
-then we're good.
-OK.

202
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,065
Oh, OK, OK.
[clears throat]

203
00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:21,567
They didn't care about
the music in the end?

204
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,369
-No they really liked it.
-Really?

205
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,805
-Yeah, they were laughing.
-Yes, yes.

206
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,073
-OK. Can I export?
-Yep.

207
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,142
Sweet. A few minutes.

208
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,244
Not bad, Miss Sarah.

209
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,880
-Dream team.
-Doing good, Gary.

210
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,516
Mm-hmm.
You went to P Town, right?

211
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:41,353
-How was it?
-Magical.

212
00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:44,123
-And then I fucked it up.
-What do you mean?

213
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,325
-As per usual.
-Oh, God, what'd you do?

214
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:50,162
-What did you do?
-I found my dad's
wedding ring at my mom's.

215
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,365
-Uh-huh.
-And I took it,
and I put it in my pocket.

216
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,968
And then I walked to the beach,
where Kristen was

217
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,436
with a bottle of
champagne at sunset,

218
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:58,871
it was beautiful,
and I pulled the ring

219
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,472
-out of my pocket...
-What?

220
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,241
...and handed it to her
without saying anything.

221
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,009
What? Yes, yes,
you're getting married!

222
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,545
No, no, no, no,
that's not the...

223
00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,214
I just wasn't thinking about it,

224
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,349
but she totally took...
she did just what you did.

225
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:14,854
-And, now it's awkward.
-So you're not getting married?

226
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,622
-No.
-OK, good,

227
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:19,024
because I thought you said
you never wanted to get married.

228
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,260
-I think I did say that.
-I was just trying

229
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,362
to seem excited,
but I'm actually really not.

230
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,496
[laughing]

231
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:27,099
Don't do it.
Don't do it.

232
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,467
-Gary.
-Otherwise you're gonna

233
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:29,501
have to deal with the bullshit

234
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,103
I'm going through right now.

235
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:33,239
-Yeah, what's happening?
-Do you want to see it?

236
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:35,474
It's real, it's like
actually official.

237
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:40,179
I hired a lawyer and I think
I finally am getting...

238
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:45,885
-getting through this.
-Oh, my God, Gary.

239
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,920
-I know.
-Let me see.

240
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:52,458
This, my friend, is how you
get divorced in New York City.

241
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,061
[Sarah] Doesn't it only take
one piece of paper
to get married?

242
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,230
[Gary] Yeah, right? This is
my confession of the day.

243
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:02,434
I found on YouTube,
this web series that's like

244
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:05,337
-how to get divorced.
-Whoa.

245
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:07,339
I know, I know.

246
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:09,208
I thought about making my own,

247
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,343
with gay marriage
comes gay divorce.

248
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:13,646
Yes, you should
totally do that.

249
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,682
[Gary] Like one episode,
I would get my tattoo removed.

250
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,584
-Uh-huh.
-Which is like actually
a really good idea.

251
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,654
And then you could bring me in
as like a special guest

252
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:25,057
to talk about how not to
get married in the first place.

253
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,592
Because you're so good at it.

254
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,928
Like, here's a ring,
let's not get married.

255
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,031
Want like whiskey
on the rocks.

256
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,466
-Two of them.
-First round's on me, OK?

257
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:36,201
Sure.

258
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,537
[Kristen]
You've arrived just in time.

259
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,673
-Have I?
-Mm-hmm.

260
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,509
What's my prize?

261
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:46,478
-Tart.
-Mm...

262
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,481
Mm, mm-hmm.

263
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,585
-You OK?
-Mm-hmm.

264
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:56,155
Stupidly didn't
sleep last night.

265
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,458
-Yeah, I could tell.
-I'm sorry.

266
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:04,697
I'm wondering if maybe
we should talk about P Town.

267
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,468
Yeah, OK.

268
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:13,038
Let's talk about it.

269
00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:20,346
[Sarah]
It was part of the reason
I wasn't sleeping last night.

270
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:21,313
[KristeOh, God.

271
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,148
[chuckles]

272
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,717
-OK.
-I don't know.

273
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,386
-I just want to talk about it.
-Yeah, let's do it.

274
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:29,555
What do you want to say?

275
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,591
Do you know who I am?

276
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:36,261
-No, who are you?
-Hi, my name is Sarah Watson.

277
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:40,332
-It's lovely to meet you.
-Lovely to meet you, too.

278
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:44,436
Since we just met, I don't think
this proposal is a good idea.

279
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:47,406
-[Kristen]
I was ready to say yes.
-[Sarah] Yeah, you were.

280
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,041
[Kristen] I was.

281
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,777
Are you?

282
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,246
I don't know.

283
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,784
I want to be with you forever.

284
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,452
Yeah, I want to
be with you forever.

285
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:01,620
Great.

286
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,589
[laughing]

287
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:06,158
-That makes me happy.
-Me, too.

288
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,227
Uh, it just...

289
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:15,234
My family kind of fucked me up
on the whole marriage thing.

290
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,669
It just feels like
a whole big thing

291
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,538
that I don't really understand.

292
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,110
OK.

293
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,613
-I have a twig in my mouth.
-A twig?

294
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:28,580
Mm-hmm.

295
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,482
[laughing]

296
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:33,786
-Da-dum.
-Oh, that's garnish, Sarah.

297
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:37,056
-That was rosemary garnish.
-Sorry.

298
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,192
-Um...
-What am I gonna do with you?

299
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,493
Shouldn't marry it.

300
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,496
[blows raspberry]

301
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:48,133
-That's your reasoning?
-[sighs] I don't know.

302
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,536
I was talking to Gary today.

303
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:55,174
-Ooh...
-Yeah, and...

304
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:59,645
You know...
he's going through...

305
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,815
-a rough patch, obviously.
-Yeah.

306
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,483
Um...

307
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:09,188
But we thought, maybe,

308
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:12,691
maybe we should do
a doc or something.

309
00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:16,762
I mean about marriage,
not just...

310
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,164
-Divorce.
-Yeah.

311
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,104
I mean,
it's topical right now.

312
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,772
Mm-hmm, that's true.

313
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,641
I think you should do it.
I think you should
talk to people.

314
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:33,679
-Uh-huh.
-And then I think you
should figure out

315
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,781
why it is that you
have so much confusion

316
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,150
around this specific topic.

317
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,620
You make it sound really easy.

318
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:49,394
Well...
From my point of view, it is.

319
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:52,297
But I know that it's more
complicated than that.

320
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,568
-Do it.
-Yeah?

321
00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,270
Yeah.

322
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,339
I'll think about it.

323
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,877
[tape rewinding]

324
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:07,379
I think it was also...

325
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,181
-[Sarah] Could you repeat that?
-OK, sorry.

326
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,816
What was my question again?

327
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,518
Did you think that marriage
was something, something--

328
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:16,622
Oh, yes. I always thought
I would get married.

329
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:20,459
-Um, I think it was just--
-What is this for?

330
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:25,430
You know, we were
talking about marriage

331
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,599
and exploring all that,

332
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:32,571
so the opportunity
presented itself and I seized.

333
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:35,307
...all of our friends that
pretty much marriage was what--

334
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,909
OK.

335
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,313
So?

336
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:44,449
It's not what we talked about.

337
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:46,185
What did we talk about?

338
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,453
I thought we were
talking about gay marriage.

339
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:52,658
These are, like, the straightest
people I've ever seen.

340
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,693
Nothing against that,
of course, but...

341
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,562
Right, right, right.

342
00:19:57,796 --> 00:20:00,199
I thought we talked about,
you know,

343
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,601
embracing our community
and discovering, like,

344
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:05,237
-how people are dealing with...
-Yeah, yeah, I guess I think--

345
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,838
...this marriage epidemic.

346
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,875
-[chuckles] Epidemic?
-It's sickly.

347
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,744
Yeah, I guess, I thought
that was a part of it,

348
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:16,281
but I was thinking broader,
but...

349
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,251
You're totally right,
it's better if it's
more specific.

350
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:22,454
If I were you, I would dedicate
some time to this.

351
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,389
Would you do it with me?

352
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,826
Um...

353
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:31,330
Well, maybe it'll help.

354
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,532
Yeah.

355
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,834
I was kind of thinking...

356
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,638
along the same lines.

357
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,907
For both of us.

358
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:51,350
That's a serious camera.

359
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,018
Give it to me,
I'll set it on the table.

360
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:55,621
-Good point,
I should probably...
-Put it on silent.

361
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,289
Actually, turn it off.

362
00:20:57,289 --> 00:21:00,759
So, this can go in your pocket

363
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,795
or wherever is
comfortable for you.

364
00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:05,497
What are we
signing away to now?

365
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:06,898
[laughing]

366
00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:09,668
[Sarah] Our permission
to photograph your...

367
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,370
-Likeness.
-[Sarah] Faces.

368
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,471
OK.

369
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:17,009
[Gary] All right. Say, we're
ready when you are, Sarah.

370
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,044
[Sarah] OK, cool.

371
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,513
Um, so, thank you guys.

372
00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:23,382
-Of course.
-Thank you. Yeah.

373
00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:25,284
[Sarah] A couple things.

374
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:28,954
If you could use my question
in your answer,

375
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,923
in the event that, you know,
my voice is not in the film.

376
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:34,960
So if I say, "Erin,
what color is your shirt?"

377
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,895
You can say,
"My shirt is blue and white."

378
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,597
Instead of just,
"Blue and white."

379
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:42,334
-Got it.
-That's a hard one to remember.

380
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:43,802
[Sarah] I'll remind you.

381
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:48,774
If you forget, I might ask you
to say it again

382
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:52,878
with a question, so I'll just
say, "Could you rephrase
that for me?"

383
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,814
Sure.

384
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,850
[Sarah] And, yeah,
this will be fun, I hope.

385
00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:03,055
But... if anything, like, starts
to make you uncomfortable,

386
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:05,557
you're totally allowed to say,
"I don't want to
talk about that."

387
00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:08,327
[laughing]
If we start to make
you uncomfortable

388
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:11,430
just let us know,
then we'll tone back.

389
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,566
[door opens]

390
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:16,835
Hello.

391
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:17,969
[door closes]

392
00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:19,538
Hello.

393
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:23,508
-What you got there?
-Fruits of my labor.

394
00:22:25,544 --> 00:22:28,046
[Sarah] You labored so
hard for those fruits.

395
00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:31,516
Yeah, tell me about it.

396
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,919
[light music
plays in background]

397
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,561
Hey...

398
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,663
[groans]

399
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,099
Just new EP.

400
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:50,702
I just don't know what's gonna
happen... to the show.

401
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,441
-Stressful.
-Mm-hmm.

402
00:22:57,743 --> 00:23:00,479
Chug the wine.
Put on the clothes.

403
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,481
Shut up, come here.

404
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:06,752
[sighing]

405
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:08,787
[Sarah] It's going to be OK.

406
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,660
That is warm.

407
00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:19,998
-Ooh. Sounds expensive.
-Oh, it was.

408
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,033
-Yeah?
-OK, open it.

409
00:23:24,836 --> 00:23:26,738
Just what I've always wanted.

410
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:30,742
-I know you like ties.
-Come here. Yes I do.

411
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,644
You can't borrow it
for at least a week.

412
00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:33,979
-OK.
-OK.

413
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:37,549
I won't touch it.
Except right now.

414
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,017
As I take it off of you.

415
00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,786
[rock music]

416
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:43,622
♪ What the fuck is lady like?
Lady like ♪

417
00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:47,025
♪ Do what the...
just like you ♪

418
00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:49,628
[lyrics continue indistinct]

419
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,475
♪ On my knees ♪

420
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:06,044
♪ Or on all fours ♪

421
00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:09,581
♪ From underneath ♪

422
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:12,584
♪ Hear me roar ♪

423
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:15,620
♪ What the fuck is lady like? ♪

424
00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,196
I think this one got bigger.

425
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,867
No.

426
00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:32,504
Yes.

427
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:35,874
You should get it looked at.

428
00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:41,880
I can't.

429
00:24:42,848 --> 00:24:44,683
You can.

430
00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:52,157
An envelope?

431
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:56,561
-Mm-hmm.
-Circle and ticket inside.

432
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,129
Of sorts.

433
00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:03,635
[gasps]

434
00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:07,873
Cool.

435
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,276
-Uh...
-This is...

436
00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,514
[laughing]

437
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,648
What?

438
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,886
This is big, OK?

439
00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,154
I just need you to
acknowledge this is a thing.

440
00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:26,024
I know.
I know it's a thing.

441
00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:30,795
It's also, literally,
saving my life.

442
00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:33,532
Agreed.

443
00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:49,848
So?

444
00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:53,885
Round two,
hot domestic partner sex?

445
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:55,620
[laughing]

446
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,089
I don't... would you
have been ready

447
00:25:58,089 --> 00:26:01,159
to get married at that point?

448
00:26:01,159 --> 00:26:02,894
I don't know that I was
ready to get married

449
00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,830
when you proposed,
so no, I was not.

450
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:07,799
I was not ready to
get married at the point

451
00:26:07,799 --> 00:26:09,968
when we did
the domestic partnership.

452
00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:16,107
So, I mean, I think the,
for me, at least,

453
00:26:16,107 --> 00:26:20,979
maybe from your perspective,
the advantage of not having

454
00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:22,681
had the legal rights to do this,

455
00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:25,083
allowed me to sort of
dip my toe in the water

456
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:29,020
and say, "OK, the water's
not so bad," with each step.

457
00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:31,122
Domestic partnership,
to me, just always seemed

458
00:26:31,122 --> 00:26:33,692
so clinical a term, you know?

459
00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:39,297
That, it's not
exactly a loving word.

460
00:26:39,297 --> 00:26:41,967
If you weren't a gay couple,
you could get a
domestic partnership.

461
00:26:41,967 --> 00:26:44,035
You could be married or
have a domestic partnership.

462
00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:46,738
You had choices.
We didn't have any choices.

463
00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:50,875
We fought for any inkling
of recognition and protection.

464
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:54,846
And so, when they say, "Here's
your domestic partnership.

465
00:26:54,846 --> 00:26:57,315
It's the same as marriage,
don't you want this?"

466
00:26:57,315 --> 00:27:01,620
It's an insult. It's almost
like a business transaction,

467
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:07,058
whereas marriage has such
a resonance of love

468
00:27:07,058 --> 00:27:10,929
and event that brings people
together to celebrate.

469
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:14,132
I don't feel any
pressure to get married.

470
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,301
Like at all, I don't think.

471
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,838
-Do you?
-No, I don't really feel any...

472
00:27:19,838 --> 00:27:23,174
Yeah, I don't feel
any pressure to get married
now that it's legal.

473
00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:27,379
But I know for some people it
really... it's really important
to them, and...

474
00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,081
We're also
just not that old yet.

475
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:32,217
-It's true.
-It's true.

476
00:27:32,217 --> 00:27:34,019
No one's asking us yet.

477
00:27:34,019 --> 00:27:36,221
I feel like
the pressure will mount

478
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,858
the longer we're together
and the older we get.

479
00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:41,960
If I knew a couple
in their early 30s

480
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,795
who had been together
for like 12 years,

481
00:27:43,795 --> 00:27:47,365
I mean, I'd ask, like,
"What's up?"

482
00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:54,205
[Kristen] I just wanted
to introduce myself

483
00:27:54,205 --> 00:27:57,676
and talk a little bit about
my role here on the show.

484
00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:59,811
Thus far, I've been with
the show about five, six years.

485
00:27:59,811 --> 00:28:01,746
-[man] Five years, right?
-Yep.

486
00:28:01,746 --> 00:28:04,916
Um... and in that time,
we have really worked

487
00:28:04,916 --> 00:28:07,152
at identifying
who our consumer is.

488
00:28:07,152 --> 00:28:08,787
And trying to steer our show,

489
00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:10,855
design our show
for that consumer.

490
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:13,058
Well, it looks like
the first two years
you guys did really well.

491
00:28:13,058 --> 00:28:15,293
-Yep.
-There's been a steady
decline since then.

492
00:28:15,293 --> 00:28:18,163
Yeah, well, there's been
a little bit of saturation
in the market,

493
00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:21,733
but we have a lot of
really interesting things
coming up on the schedule.

494
00:28:21,733 --> 00:28:27,772
-A lot of new ideas that--
-Listen, Kristen, um...

495
00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:30,041
-I have a budget to meet.
-Sure.

496
00:28:30,041 --> 00:28:31,376
I have deadlines.

497
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:33,244
I think that the
best thing to do

498
00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:37,348
-is to clean house, start over.
-Sure.

499
00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:39,184
Pick up the pieces,
you know what I mean?

500
00:28:39,184 --> 00:28:43,722
Yeah, of course, I...
we've had new teams in the past

501
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:47,726
and... usually it causes a
little bit of a hiccup--

502
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:49,494
Well, hopefully
this is the last time.

503
00:28:49,494 --> 00:28:52,330
-Sure.
-I'm sure you're
a great producer, Kristen,

504
00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:55,100
and we've really had
a great run here,

505
00:28:55,100 --> 00:28:57,235
but I think
I have to let you go.

506
00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:01,039
Oh.

507
00:29:06,277 --> 00:29:09,414
OK. Is Nina aware
that this is happening?

508
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:13,485
I mean.... I've been with
the show since it started.

509
00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:15,487
No, I think that
you could tell her.

510
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:19,424
Um... if that's difficult,
maybe have her schedule
a meeting with me.

511
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:22,894
[muffled speaking]

512
00:29:33,471 --> 00:29:36,841
[maLiving a life of joy

513
00:29:36,841 --> 00:29:41,846
doesn't mean that there aren't
horribly depressing days.

514
00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:47,285
And so, we try to sit down
and talk out the sadness.

515
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:49,254
The communication is key

516
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:51,923
because it helps you get
back out of the sadness

517
00:29:51,923 --> 00:29:54,058
and back into the joy.

518
00:29:54,058 --> 00:29:55,827
[tape rewinding]

519
00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:57,195
-Does that make sense?
-[man 2] It makes sense.

520
00:29:57,195 --> 00:29:59,330
-[man 1] OK.
-[man 2] And breakfast.

521
00:29:59,330 --> 00:30:01,466
-[man 1] Breakfast.
-[man 2] We always have
breakfast together.

522
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,368
That's just part of the joy.

523
00:30:03,368 --> 00:30:05,937
So I get up, once we're
done cuddling, I get up,

524
00:30:05,937 --> 00:30:08,139
-and I make breakfast.
-[man 1] And then good luck.

525
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:11,242
And the dance breaks.
The dance breaks
are very important.

526
00:30:11,242 --> 00:30:15,914
-Mandatory dance breaks.
-Yes, regular.

527
00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:18,383
[Sarah]
So the secret to being together

528
00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:22,520
successfully for 30 years is:
communication, cuddling,

529
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,255
breakfast, and dancing.

530
00:30:24,255 --> 00:30:26,891
And the other secret to
being together for 30 years,

531
00:30:26,891 --> 00:30:29,828
I mean, I attribute it to the
fact that Steven won't leave.

532
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,463
[laughing]

533
00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:39,103
You wrote that a few days ago.
[laughing]

534
00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:42,106
-I love them.
-[tape rewinding]

535
00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:44,142
[man 1] Thirty years together,
and the biggest
fights we've had

536
00:30:44,142 --> 00:30:48,513
are based on who's going to
get the bigger piece of cake.

537
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:51,216
Because we always, literally,
over breakfast,

538
00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:55,486
he will portion out the food
and I will give him the plate
with more food on it.

539
00:30:55,486 --> 00:30:57,222
And he says,
"No, no, no, that's for you.

540
00:30:57,222 --> 00:30:59,290
You take the one
with more food."

541
00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:01,893
And I think that's one of
the reasons we have succeeded.

542
00:31:01,893 --> 00:31:06,898
Because our instinct
is always going outward.

543
00:31:06,898 --> 00:31:09,067
Are you leaving?

544
00:31:09,067 --> 00:31:11,903
Um... yeah.

545
00:31:11,903 --> 00:31:14,572
I'm gonna go.

546
00:31:14,572 --> 00:31:17,242
I don't...
I don't feel that well.

547
00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:19,544
Uh...

548
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,212
I don't think
I can listen to

549
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:23,882
another Prince Charming
tell his Prince Charming

550
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:27,619
-how much he loves him.
-OK.

551
00:31:29,187 --> 00:31:30,555
Um...

552
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:33,524
[Gary]
Have you even once considered

553
00:31:33,524 --> 00:31:38,963
talking to...
someone who's divorced?

554
00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:41,499
Mm-hmm.

555
00:31:41,499 --> 00:31:44,235
Have you set up an interview?

556
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:45,904
No.

557
00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:49,374
OK.

558
00:31:57,348 --> 00:31:58,917
I just let you out.

559
00:32:00,952 --> 00:32:03,154
So I wrote a piece for
Cosmo about my divorce,

560
00:32:03,154 --> 00:32:09,294
and it came on the heels
of some other media

561
00:32:09,294 --> 00:32:14,532
about my divorce and the media
was a little hyperbolic,

562
00:32:14,532 --> 00:32:19,070
it was like, "I was one
of the first gay people

563
00:32:19,070 --> 00:32:20,405
to get divorced in New York."

564
00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:22,340
I don't know if that's true.

565
00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:27,111
It might, I mean, I guess,
probably, first-ish, but,

566
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:30,615
um, so tCosmo    piece came
on the heels of a lot

567
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,984
of other media, and I felt like,

568
00:32:34,485 --> 00:32:37,088
as I felt in a lot of other
situations in my life,

569
00:32:37,088 --> 00:32:39,157
like I was alone.

570
00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:41,993
I knew the article should
be about the facts,

571
00:32:41,993 --> 00:32:43,494
what happened, and then
how I dealt with it,

572
00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:45,129
because I didn't
deal with it well,

573
00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:47,198
because I did have
another suicidal crisis,

574
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:50,268
and I did live 10 blocks away
from the George Washington
Bridge,

575
00:32:50,268 --> 00:32:54,539
and I did have to
work through all of that,

576
00:32:54,539 --> 00:32:56,607
and work through the feelings
of getting a divorce,

577
00:32:56,607 --> 00:32:58,710
and then the logistics
of getting a divorce,

578
00:32:58,710 --> 00:33:05,550
and knowing that the legal
system might not have been

579
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:09,387
prepared to deal with
gay divorces yet.

580
00:33:09,387 --> 00:33:12,757
I kind of hate when
people say like divorce turns
your world upside down.

581
00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:17,095
I think that's very vague.
It's more like it puts
the world in a blender.

582
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:20,298
Because nothing, it's like,
nothing that you used to

583
00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:22,166
think makes sense
makes sense anymore,

584
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:25,003
and that's not to me
upside down, that's more like

585
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,005
everything changes,
everything changes.

586
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,307
Like, you're breaking up,
it sucks for both people,

587
00:33:29,307 --> 00:33:32,744
there just happens to be
a legal document around it.

588
00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:35,213
And I think when you
commit to somebody,

589
00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:37,615
like in front of your peers
and like there is

590
00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:39,617
an embarrassing part of it,
where it's like,

591
00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:44,155
what's so wrong with me
that I can't, like, accept her

592
00:33:44,155 --> 00:33:46,090
and love her for
exactly who she is?

593
00:33:46,090 --> 00:33:49,160
Like, what's wrong with, that's
more than self-preservation,

594
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,129
like, what kept me in
our relationship was,

595
00:33:51,129 --> 00:33:53,231
"What's wrong with me
that I can't love this woman

596
00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:54,532
for exactly who she is?"

597
00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:56,601
[Sarah]
Would you get married again?

598
00:33:58,136 --> 00:34:03,541
I don't know if I would
get married again.

599
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:07,145
-Yeah.
-[Sarah] Why not?

600
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:11,149
Um...

601
00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:14,285
[Sarah] Are you excited
to be a free woman?

602
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:16,721
You know you can
do whatever you want.

603
00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:22,727
It's going to be fine, you know.

604
00:34:24,328 --> 00:34:26,764
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

605
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:31,302
-It will be.
-Yeah. Yep.

606
00:34:32,236 --> 00:34:34,405
Opportunities, right?

607
00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:38,209
It's totally gonna be fine.

608
00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:41,446
Sorry.

609
00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:44,182
[laughing]
A little scary.

610
00:34:44,182 --> 00:34:46,217
This will be fine, too.

611
00:34:46,217 --> 00:34:48,586
-Promise.
-OK.

612
00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:51,789
When was the last time
I cooked for you?

613
00:34:51,789 --> 00:34:56,594
-I don't know.
-If you could do anything,
what would it be?

614
00:34:58,463 --> 00:35:00,631
Not have this
conversation right now.

615
00:35:02,567 --> 00:35:04,102
[Sarah] Okie dokie.

616
00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:46,811
Fuck, are you
fucking kidding me?

617
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,648
Sarah!

618
00:35:51,516 --> 00:35:52,917
Sarah!

619
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,755
Sarah...

620
00:35:57,755 --> 00:36:00,491
[beeping]

621
00:36:01,726 --> 00:36:05,296
-Sarah! Wake up!
-What?

622
00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:08,533
There's gas everywhere.
Get outside.

623
00:36:08,533 --> 00:36:12,370
Come here.
Get outside right now.

624
00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:14,939
Quickly.
God, what the fuck?

625
00:36:14,939 --> 00:36:17,875
The fucking alarm,
what is wrong with you?

626
00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:21,179
You leave the fucking
oven on all night?

627
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:24,248
The pilot went out.
We could have fucking died!

628
00:36:24,248 --> 00:36:25,650
What is wrong with you?!

629
00:36:25,650 --> 00:36:29,420
Always. Always, it's me.

630
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:32,223
I always have to fucking
be the one to pick us up

631
00:36:32,223 --> 00:36:34,525
and keep us from fucking dying!

632
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:36,394
Are you kidding me?

633
00:36:41,532 --> 00:36:43,768
We're OK.

634
00:36:43,768 --> 00:36:46,270
No one died.

635
00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:50,775
Thank you for waking up
and saving us, but it's fine.

636
00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:56,480
Hey.

637
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,419
We're not OK.

638
00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:08,659
I lost my job today, Sarah.

639
00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:11,862
-I know.
-My job.

640
00:37:12,997 --> 00:37:14,932
But you're gonna
get another one.

641
00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:16,667
Not another.

642
00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:23,341
It's not that easy, you don't
understand how big this is.

643
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:27,545
How much our livelihood
depends on this.

644
00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:30,715
How much of me depends on that.

645
00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:34,852
-OK.
-I can't.

646
00:37:34,852 --> 00:37:36,587
OK.

647
00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:42,693
-[crying] I need you to meet me.
-I'm right here.

648
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:48,266
You've just got to
tell me what to do.

649
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:52,003
Because you're right,
I don't know all the stuff
that you do.

650
00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:55,406
-But I can't help--
-I just need a partner.

651
00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:58,709
I want to do that for you,
I want to be your partner.

652
00:37:58,709 --> 00:38:02,980
I can take more work.
I can do that.

653
00:38:02,980 --> 00:38:06,050
You've been holding us up,
but I can go out there

654
00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:09,820
and I can take more jobs,
it's not a big deal.

655
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,723
I'm drowning.

656
00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:16,427
-I'm drowning.
-I'm not gonna let you drown.

657
00:38:16,427 --> 00:38:18,062
I'm not gonna let that happen.

658
00:38:19,397 --> 00:38:23,034
-We can figure this out.
-It just is.

659
00:38:33,544 --> 00:38:38,482
[maI think of being
married as, it's a verb.

660
00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:40,918
It's not...
it's not an adjective.

661
00:38:40,918 --> 00:38:43,888
It's something that you
continually do every day.

662
00:38:43,888 --> 00:38:46,524
You wake up, hopefully,
next to the person

663
00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:49,427
that you're married to,
roll over, and say,

664
00:38:49,427 --> 00:38:51,762
"Do I want to do
this again today?"

665
00:38:51,762 --> 00:38:53,497
And hopefully the answer is yes.

666
00:38:53,497 --> 00:38:57,468
And if it's not yes,
then you say to the person,

667
00:38:57,468 --> 00:38:59,670
"Hey, I'm having these doubts."

668
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:02,773
[Sarah] Can I just see
that transition again?

669
00:39:03,574 --> 00:39:04,909
OK.

670
00:39:04,909 --> 00:39:06,644
I know I've asked, like,
six times, but...

671
00:39:06,644 --> 00:39:09,680
I'd like to believe
that as an officiant

672
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,450
who's planning a wedding
ceremony with a couple,

673
00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:14,352
I bring the fear.

674
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,555
I like to inject
a little bit of uncertainty

675
00:39:17,555 --> 00:39:19,890
into the room
because I think the 12 weeks

676
00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:22,626
leading up to a wedding
as being the time where

677
00:39:22,626 --> 00:39:25,062
they can be tested by
the people in their lives,

678
00:39:25,062 --> 00:39:27,131
and especially somebody that
they probably don't know

679
00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:29,600
very well, like me,
kind of just asking, like,

680
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,671
"Why do you want to do this?"
Every time they see me.

681
00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:37,708
My main fear
in same gender marriage

682
00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:43,848
is that in a way, we are sort of
whitewashing who we are

683
00:39:43,848 --> 00:39:47,084
because a lot of our weddings
look a lot like

684
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:48,953
the weddings that
people are used to,

685
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:50,988
and I kind of want to
turn during a wedding

686
00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:53,624
and be like, "Oh, and also,
we fuck each other in the ass."

687
00:39:53,624 --> 00:39:55,059
You know?

688
00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:59,463
[applauding]

689
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:02,633
Hey, everybody.

690
00:40:02,633 --> 00:40:05,136
Uh, thank you so much
for being here.

691
00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,804
Especially late notice.

692
00:40:06,804 --> 00:40:10,040
This is awesome,
super helpful for us.

693
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:15,679
We were up all night.
And this is totally rough.

694
00:40:15,679 --> 00:40:18,149
But we want to
get your thoughts

695
00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:20,751
and see if our
ideas are working.

696
00:40:20,751 --> 00:40:24,088
So Gary's gonna
pass out a questionnaire.

697
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:27,024
If you could fill
that out after.

698
00:40:27,024 --> 00:40:31,896
And I tucked in my shirt,
so this is serious.

699
00:40:31,896 --> 00:40:35,065
-[all laughing]
-And I think we're good.

700
00:40:35,065 --> 00:40:37,134
Let's do this.

701
00:40:37,134 --> 00:40:40,037
-Baby, could you get the lights?
-[Kristen] Mm-hmm.

702
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,976
[orchestral music]

703
00:40:47,978 --> 00:40:52,016
So I guess my thoughts
about marriage
from when I was younger

704
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:56,587
were shaped by growing up
in a family where the marriage

705
00:40:56,587 --> 00:40:59,824
wasn't really that successful,
in general.

706
00:40:59,824 --> 00:41:05,196
My parents separated when I
was one or two, and that's
my--

707
00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:08,499
[man Mine was seven, so we
both had divorced families.

708
00:41:08,499 --> 00:41:15,673
Yeah, I think, I mean, yeah,
what does that say
to a young person?

709
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:18,576
It was twofold. One, coming
from a home where the marriage

710
00:41:18,576 --> 00:41:21,212
wasn't necessarily a shining
example, a perfect definition

711
00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:24,114
of marriage, it was more the
working definition of marriage

712
00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:26,851
and the obligation
of marriage and kids,

713
00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:30,654
on top of knowing that I was
gay, I never thought about it.

714
00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:34,091
It was just something
I always was resolved
that would never happen.

715
00:41:34,091 --> 00:41:36,160
Yeah, I don't know
where it came from.

716
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,628
I don't know where
the ideas came from,

717
00:41:37,628 --> 00:41:39,096
but for me it was always...

718
00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:40,865
I wasn't like other girls

719
00:41:40,865 --> 00:41:42,933
in the sense that
I wasn't dreaming up

720
00:41:42,933 --> 00:41:44,935
what my wedding would look
like when I was little,

721
00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:48,205
but as I started to get older,
I very much had that idea

722
00:41:48,205 --> 00:41:51,709
of I want one person.
I want a lifetime partner.

723
00:41:51,709 --> 00:41:56,080
I want that...
I want that Notebook shit.

724
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,681
[laughing]

725
00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,784
-Can I cuss?
-[Sara] Yes.

726
00:42:00,784 --> 00:42:03,020
If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
That's what I wanted.

727
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:07,091
[man] Let's just say,
marriage is queer,
in and of itself.

728
00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:11,095
Why would we commit
ourselves to being monogamous

729
00:42:11,095 --> 00:42:17,601
or truly committed,
emotionally, to another
person?

730
00:42:17,601 --> 00:42:19,603
And I think once
we sort of say, like,

731
00:42:19,603 --> 00:42:22,306
"This whole thing is sort of
queer and weird to begin
with,"

732
00:42:22,306 --> 00:42:25,643
then I think it opens up tons
of windows and doors

733
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:29,947
to lots of possibilities
for what a marriage can be.

734
00:42:29,947 --> 00:42:34,051
[woman] I think vows
are really fucked up
because they're really rigid,

735
00:42:34,051 --> 00:42:37,221
and it's like a promise to
someone that you're gonna be

736
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:40,558
the same way and do
the same thing for,
for forever.

737
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:44,161
Contractually obligating
yourself in a relationship,

738
00:42:44,161 --> 00:42:46,997
meaning like the legal
definition of marriage is
basically a contract, right?

739
00:42:46,997 --> 00:42:50,568
And then when you
want to get a divorce,
it's breaking a contract.

740
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,603
Um... that's really expensive.

741
00:42:52,603 --> 00:42:56,273
Prohibitively expensive to,
perhaps, low income people.

742
00:42:56,273 --> 00:42:59,877
A lot of people
spend a lot of time, perhaps,

743
00:42:59,877 --> 00:43:02,146
in relationships
that aren't right for them

744
00:43:02,146 --> 00:43:05,849
because they're married
and can't afford a divorce.

745
00:43:05,849 --> 00:43:08,085
[woman] I think that's a huge
conversation to have

746
00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:10,054
because the reality is
that 50 percent of
people don't make it.

747
00:43:10,054 --> 00:43:11,956
Fifty percent
of couples don't make it.

748
00:43:11,956 --> 00:43:13,324
[woman 2]
It's just one of those things

749
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:15,693
that we don't want to believe

750
00:43:15,693 --> 00:43:18,062
can happen to us.

751
00:43:21,131 --> 00:43:24,368
[chattering]

752
00:43:37,915 --> 00:43:40,250
[Kristen] This always happens.
It's the middle.

753
00:43:41,151 --> 00:43:43,220
It's messy.

754
00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:49,627
Every time, you push through it,
and you have
something incredible.

755
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,261
Just push through it, OK?

756
00:43:51,261 --> 00:43:54,198
I just want to
figure it out by now.

757
00:43:55,899 --> 00:43:57,901
No shortcuts.

758
00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:01,939
You can do it.

759
00:44:01,939 --> 00:44:04,108
I have faith in you.

760
00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:06,877
You have Ibuprofen?

761
00:44:06,877 --> 00:44:08,245
[pill bottle shaking]

762
00:44:08,245 --> 00:44:10,748
This is a sty.

763
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,655
I thought you were gonna
turn this in.

764
00:44:21,725 --> 00:44:23,727
[sighing]

765
00:44:23,727 --> 00:44:27,965
Can you do it tomorrow,
because I need coverage
by the first.

766
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,907
I don't think I can.

767
00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:40,244
What?

768
00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:46,850
[sighing]

769
00:44:46,850 --> 00:44:49,219
Sarah, I love you.

770
00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:51,822
I really love you.

771
00:44:53,157 --> 00:44:55,059
And I want to take care of
you.

772
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:57,261
And I want you to be
healthy and happy.

773
00:44:57,261 --> 00:44:59,930
[Sarah] So?

774
00:44:59,930 --> 00:45:02,733
I want this to be bigger than
a doctor's appointment and, I...

775
00:45:02,733 --> 00:45:04,001
[Sarah groans]

776
00:45:06,970 --> 00:45:09,406
This is bigger
than a doctor's appointment.

777
00:45:09,406 --> 00:45:11,275
-Is it?
-Yes.

778
00:45:11,275 --> 00:45:14,712
Really, because it looks
like you're avoiding something.

779
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:16,980
Domestic partnership
is the easy way out, Sarah.

780
00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:19,283
This is just so that
I can have health insurance.

781
00:45:19,283 --> 00:45:21,485
This has nothing to do
with this other conversation.

782
00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:24,288
It does, OK, it does.

783
00:45:25,289 --> 00:45:27,224
It has everything to do with it.

784
00:45:27,224 --> 00:45:31,762
If that happens, I'm never
gonna get anything else.

785
00:45:31,762 --> 00:45:34,798
I am trying, OK?

786
00:45:34,798 --> 00:45:39,937
I am spending all of my time
trying to figure this out.

787
00:45:39,937 --> 00:45:43,340
You sent me on this journey
and I'm trying to go on it,

788
00:45:43,340 --> 00:45:46,143
but I don't get where
the pressure is.

789
00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:49,880
I want you to want
to go on this journey.

790
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,515
I do, I'm doing it.

791
00:45:51,515 --> 00:45:53,383
I am literally putting it up

792
00:45:53,383 --> 00:45:57,855
in the middle of our living room
and working on it.

793
00:45:57,855 --> 00:45:59,923
I stayed up all night
last night working on it

794
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:01,792
and I don't understand
what you want from me.

795
00:46:01,792 --> 00:46:04,328
That is abstract.

796
00:46:04,328 --> 00:46:06,997
-This is us.
-This is real.

797
00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:08,499
These are real people.

798
00:46:08,499 --> 00:46:10,267
And marriage is fucked up

799
00:46:10,267 --> 00:46:12,503
and complicated
and messy and gross

800
00:46:12,503 --> 00:46:15,105
and this is what it is.
If you don't like
the look of that,

801
00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:17,107
then I don't know what to do.

802
00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:20,110
You see what you want to see.

803
00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:27,184
I just want to be with you
and not feel like

804
00:46:27,184 --> 00:46:30,387
you're basing this relationship
on whether or not

805
00:46:30,387 --> 00:46:32,856
I'm going to give you a ring.

806
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:39,797
You mean so much
more to me than that.

807
00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:44,968
I'm not holding you hostage.

808
00:46:48,205 --> 00:46:51,074
[Sarah] From a
psychological perspective,

809
00:46:51,074 --> 00:46:53,877
why does getting married
feel like something

810
00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,412
we should be striving for?

811
00:46:55,412 --> 00:46:57,014
Well, first of all,

812
00:46:57,014 --> 00:46:58,849
I don't think everybody
strives for marriage,

813
00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:01,285
but there are people
who love to put on a big show.

814
00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:06,190
Marriage ceremonies,
big parties, are announcements
to the wider world,

815
00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:09,359
to the wider community,
to both sides of the family,

816
00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:11,562
that something is
taking place and that

817
00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:14,498
two people are being joined
in a very public way.

818
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:16,567
For some gay people,
this is a very big deal

819
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:21,305
because it used to be that
those relationships were secret.

820
00:47:21,305 --> 00:47:23,273
Nobody knew about
those relationships.

821
00:47:23,273 --> 00:47:25,542
So, for some people,
being able to be openly gay,

822
00:47:25,542 --> 00:47:27,878
have a big wedding,
is very important.

823
00:47:27,878 --> 00:47:30,914
-But again, not everybody.
-[Sarah] Do you think that

824
00:47:30,914 --> 00:47:35,619
long-term relationships
are inherently problematic?

825
00:47:37,254 --> 00:47:39,957
Hm.
[laughing]

826
00:47:39,957 --> 00:47:43,126
-I'm sorry.
-[Sarah] It's OK.

827
00:47:43,126 --> 00:47:46,964
-[tape rewinding]
-Is that every long-term
relationship is a successful

828
00:47:46,964 --> 00:47:49,867
series of divorces
and remarriages.

829
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,069
So that the couple,
who they are,

830
00:47:52,069 --> 00:47:54,538
many years into the
relationship, are not the same

831
00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:57,074
as they were when
they first started out.

832
00:47:57,074 --> 00:47:59,977
And unless they can
negotiate those separations

833
00:47:59,977 --> 00:48:03,347
and realignments
of the relationship,
the relationships don't work.

834
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:05,349
Life became very rote,
you know,

835
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:08,151
like coming home, watching TV.

836
00:48:08,151 --> 00:48:10,587
Even the same thing for dinner
kind of night after night,

837
00:48:10,587 --> 00:48:14,524
you know, so that there's
no seeing each other anew,

838
00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:16,894
you know, or planning things.

839
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:20,230
It was just, I would say,
taking each other for granted

840
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:22,199
-was the best way--
-It's like frustrated
by patterns.

841
00:48:22,199 --> 00:48:23,667
I think, like, you know,
I think people

842
00:48:23,667 --> 00:48:26,136
get into patterns,
and I don't like patterns,

843
00:48:26,136 --> 00:48:28,105
but I think
sometimes it's like,

844
00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:29,640
you're not only frustrated
with your relationship,

845
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,174
but you're frustrated
with yourself.

846
00:48:31,174 --> 00:48:33,143
I was stagnant in my life.

847
00:48:33,143 --> 00:48:37,648
I wasn't happy with anything
what I was doing, you know.

848
00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:39,616
It was very hard to find work.

849
00:48:39,616 --> 00:48:42,953
So I think that a lot of
times, just life is

850
00:48:42,953 --> 00:48:45,188
leading the relationship,
like things in life

851
00:48:45,188 --> 00:48:47,257
start to just
weigh on the relationship.

852
00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,693
Kind of got into like
a boring kind of,

853
00:48:49,693 --> 00:48:52,930
we were like, wow,
this is like not good.

854
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,602
You working from
home all week?

855
00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:00,070
Mm-hmm.

856
00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:04,441
-You have any interviews today?
-Tomorrow.

857
00:49:06,143 --> 00:49:07,644
[man] If you're in a
long-term relationship,

858
00:49:07,644 --> 00:49:11,148
you're going to see the person,
warts and all.

859
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:13,684
You're going to see their good
sides and you're going to see
their bad sides.

860
00:49:13,684 --> 00:49:16,420
At beginning, everybody's
showing each other
their good sides,

861
00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:18,655
but when you start
moving in together,

862
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:20,457
when you're together
for a long time,

863
00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:22,359
you see things you don't like.

864
00:49:22,359 --> 00:49:25,562
And learning to live
with parts of the other person

865
00:49:25,562 --> 00:49:29,132
that you don't like is a
challenge in every relationship.

866
00:49:29,132 --> 00:49:32,202
[clearing throat]

867
00:49:34,504 --> 00:49:36,440
Sarah.

868
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,608
[man]
Those little things that you,

869
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:40,477
maybe they're quirks
or they're things,

870
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:42,646
I would say this; when you're
in love with somebody,

871
00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:44,581
you love their faults.

872
00:49:44,581 --> 00:49:46,516
And when you're falling
out of love with somebody

873
00:49:46,516 --> 00:49:48,185
or you're not into them,

874
00:49:48,185 --> 00:49:50,253
it literally is
the opposite feeling.

875
00:49:50,253 --> 00:49:53,557
Those faults are magnified
and you're like... [groans]

876
00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:59,229
Hey.

877
00:49:59,629 --> 00:50:01,465
Hey.

878
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:07,137
Why are you here again?

879
00:50:08,338 --> 00:50:10,273
Why are you here?

880
00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:13,143
I have to go to work.

881
00:50:14,511 --> 00:50:17,080
I have to go to bed.

882
00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:19,182
OK.

883
00:50:22,386 --> 00:50:25,555
-I love you.
-I love you.

884
00:50:33,797 --> 00:50:35,465
[Kristen] When do they
take out the stitches?

885
00:50:35,465 --> 00:50:38,735
[Sarah]
That was like two weeks ago.

886
00:50:38,735 --> 00:50:41,071
[Kristen]
Well, they left one behind.

887
00:50:41,071 --> 00:50:44,074
We have to get this out,
otherwise it's not gonna heal.

888
00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:48,545
All right,
let me get my tweezers.

889
00:50:52,649 --> 00:50:56,520
All right, here we go.

890
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,156
[Sarah] Ow, fuck.

891
00:51:01,491 --> 00:51:03,493
This one's my favorite.

892
00:51:03,493 --> 00:51:05,429
-Yeah?
-Mm-hmm.

893
00:51:05,429 --> 00:51:08,331
You think they're gonna
take that one away, too?

894
00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:10,700
No.

895
00:51:12,102 --> 00:51:14,538
-It's safe.
-Really?

896
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:17,441
How do you know?

897
00:51:17,441 --> 00:51:21,111
-I'll keep an eye on it.
-OK.

898
00:51:23,146 --> 00:51:25,482
Ooh, ow. Mm-mm.

899
00:51:25,482 --> 00:51:27,184
-No?
-Mm-mm.

900
00:51:28,151 --> 00:51:30,287
It's gotta come out.

901
00:51:30,287 --> 00:51:33,623
I think, if you just leave it,

902
00:51:33,623 --> 00:51:35,559
isn't it just gonna
do its thing and--

903
00:51:35,559 --> 00:51:37,394
No, it's not healing
because it's in there,

904
00:51:37,394 --> 00:51:39,496
so either I'm gonna take it out,
or a doctor's gonna take it out.

905
00:51:39,496 --> 00:51:41,431
-But it's gotta come out.
-We wouldn't be

906
00:51:41,431 --> 00:51:43,300
in this situation if
I just had health insurance.

907
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,635
Oh, you want to have
that conversation?

908
00:51:46,736 --> 00:51:49,139
-Do you?
-I'm tugging.

909
00:51:49,139 --> 00:51:51,241
-Ow.
-Sarah, it's been a month,

910
00:51:51,241 --> 00:51:55,712
where are you, what's going on
in that head of yours?

911
00:51:56,546 --> 00:51:59,282
Uh... I don't.

912
00:51:59,282 --> 00:52:02,285
-Oh my God.
-You got it all
since our last conversation?

913
00:52:02,285 --> 00:52:04,187
-I don't know, Kristen--
-Just give me something

914
00:52:04,187 --> 00:52:05,722
to go on
because otherwise I'm gonna--

915
00:52:05,722 --> 00:52:08,758
-Ow, fuck.
-Sarah, you cannot wiggle...

916
00:52:08,758 --> 00:52:11,128
-Jesus Christ.
-...while I'm pulling
something out of you.

917
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,462
-It hurts.
-I know it does.

918
00:52:12,462 --> 00:52:14,397
-Please just grit your teeth.
-[grunts]

919
00:52:14,397 --> 00:52:17,901
[SaraI don't know where I am
in relation to you.

920
00:52:17,901 --> 00:52:21,271
[overlapping dialogue]

921
00:52:21,271 --> 00:52:24,207
I don't want to get married!

922
00:52:29,212 --> 00:52:30,680
Got it.

923
00:52:40,624 --> 00:52:42,559
[man]
We just weren't that couple.

924
00:52:42,559 --> 00:52:44,694
Nobody suspected us ever
of getting divorced.

925
00:52:44,694 --> 00:52:46,730
Like everybody looked
at us and said,
"Oh, you're perfect."

926
00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:49,566
And... but they didn't
really know, you know,

927
00:52:49,566 --> 00:52:51,401
no one ever knows
what happens behind closed doors

928
00:52:51,401 --> 00:52:54,371
and nothing terrible,
nothing bad happened,

929
00:52:54,371 --> 00:52:56,406
we just were
slowly drifting apart.

930
00:52:56,406 --> 00:52:58,341
I thought, "Oh, I could
never get divorced."

931
00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:01,244
I genuinely thought
we would never get divorced.

932
00:53:01,244 --> 00:53:02,913
Didn't even cross my...
I thought,

933
00:53:02,913 --> 00:53:05,916
because both of our parents
were divorced, so I thought,

934
00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:07,817
"Oh, we broke the spell."

935
00:53:07,817 --> 00:53:10,620
We were married longer than
both of our parents were.

936
00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:11,955
So I thought
we broke the spell.

937
00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,323
I thought we broke the curse

938
00:53:13,323 --> 00:53:16,193
and clearly we didn't, so...

939
00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:19,296
I don't understand
what these words mean.

940
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:24,334
-What is PNL management?
-Things I did.

941
00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:25,702
-Just...
-OK.

942
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:29,472
-[soft chuckle]
-Is the layout OK?

943
00:53:29,472 --> 00:53:31,408
-Yeah.
-OK.

944
00:53:31,408 --> 00:53:37,347
I mean, it's impressive,
I just... don't recognize you.

945
00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:41,284
[chuckle]
What?

946
00:53:44,521 --> 00:53:46,623
Yeah, I mean, it's like.

947
00:53:48,658 --> 00:53:50,961
Do you want to
keep doing this stuff?

948
00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:55,999
[chuckle] It's what
pays the bills, baby.

949
00:53:55,999 --> 00:53:58,768
-[Sarah] Looks good.
-[Kristen] OK, sending it.

950
00:53:58,768 --> 00:54:00,670
[woman]
You came from The Spoon.

951
00:54:00,670 --> 00:54:01,938
[Kristen] Mm-hmm.

952
00:54:01,938 --> 00:54:03,540
[woman]
Now you're at the rival.

953
00:54:03,540 --> 00:54:05,275
[laughing]
Yeah, well.

954
00:54:05,275 --> 00:54:07,811
I was wiThe Spoon
for quite a long time,

955
00:54:07,811 --> 00:54:09,779
I was with them
for almost six years.

956
00:54:09,779 --> 00:54:12,249
-And--
-So why did you leave?

957
00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:13,850
What are you looking for?

958
00:54:13,850 --> 00:54:16,886
[Kristen] I was looking to go
in another direction.

959
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:21,258
Hmm. Like what?
What do you want?

960
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:23,026
What would you love
to bring to this show?

961
00:54:23,026 --> 00:54:27,264
[Kristen] Your show seems
so steady and so, um...

962
00:54:28,498 --> 00:54:30,567
I've been loving
your content lately.

963
00:54:30,567 --> 00:54:32,836
Oh, great, great.
What do you love?

964
00:54:32,836 --> 00:54:34,738
-Um...
-What would you like to add?

965
00:54:34,738 --> 00:54:38,008
-What do you think we need?
-Well, I think--

966
00:54:38,008 --> 00:54:44,814
If I could create your
dream job, what would it be?

967
00:54:45,448 --> 00:54:48,585
Um...

968
00:54:48,585 --> 00:54:50,587
Stream of consciousness,
I'll take anything.

969
00:54:50,587 --> 00:54:52,856
I've never been asked that
in an interview before, so...

970
00:54:52,856 --> 00:54:55,458
Impress me,
why do I want to hire you?
[laughing]

971
00:54:55,458 --> 00:54:56,626
It's an interview,
it's an interview.

972
00:54:56,626 --> 00:54:58,561
I...

973
00:55:00,063 --> 00:55:04,301
-Well...
-What do you want?

974
00:55:05,969 --> 00:55:08,405
[chattering on TV]

975
00:55:08,405 --> 00:55:14,077
I had to deal with my ego
in a new way in your 30s.

976
00:55:14,077 --> 00:55:17,447
You have like a... in your 30s
you have a self-perception.

977
00:55:17,447 --> 00:55:20,450
I had a self-perception
that I was very diplomatic,

978
00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:24,487
that I was very even keeled
that I knew how to
communicate.

979
00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,923
And then this
transition came upon me

980
00:55:26,923 --> 00:55:29,392
where I felt like my identity
was gutted.

981
00:55:29,392 --> 00:55:33,730
It really bares you
out on the table.

982
00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:36,566
And I could feel
the film of it like on me,

983
00:55:36,566 --> 00:55:38,968
like, "Oh, you're not
being yourself."

984
00:55:38,968 --> 00:55:42,972
And it was really
strange to feel that way
for a number of months.

985
00:55:42,972 --> 00:55:47,043
[SaraWhat was it that allowed
you to come out of that?

986
00:55:47,043 --> 00:55:50,046
[womaI think what
allowed me to come out of that

987
00:55:50,046 --> 00:55:56,619
sort of hardened period
was just an acceptance
that things take time.

988
00:55:56,619 --> 00:56:00,857
A sort of, like, lesson of
trusting the process.

989
00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:03,560
That processes
are actually slow.

990
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,730
Confronting my own impatience
was really important.

991
00:56:06,730 --> 00:56:12,469
And actually just being OK
with things as they are

992
00:56:12,469 --> 00:56:15,372
and not having to push
for a certain outcome,

993
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:21,644
not having to aggressively
be proactive about
something and stimulated.

994
00:56:26,416 --> 00:56:28,017
Mimi?

995
00:56:28,017 --> 00:56:30,653
-Ah! Hey.
-Hey.

996
00:56:30,653 --> 00:56:32,122
-Ah!
-How are you?

997
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:34,157
-I'm good.
-It's so good to see you.

998
00:56:34,157 --> 00:56:35,725
It's good to see you, too.

999
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:40,530
-How you been?
-I'm good. I need you.

1000
00:56:40,530 --> 00:56:44,434
-Come, come, come.
-OK, where are we going?

1001
00:56:44,434 --> 00:56:46,736
-Yes, take a look.
-Whoa.

1002
00:56:46,736 --> 00:56:48,805
-Take a look. Look at the sign.
-Do these open?

1003
00:56:48,805 --> 00:56:51,574
-Yes, it opens up.
-Cool.

1004
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:54,644
-[Mimi] Can you imagine?
It's gonna be great.
-That's awesome.

1005
00:56:54,644 --> 00:56:57,480
-See?
-Oh, my God.

1006
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:02,585
-See this? Welcome to 348 Quiet.
-This is amazing.

1007
00:57:02,585 --> 00:57:04,087
-Yes, you like?
-Yes.

1008
00:57:04,087 --> 00:57:06,189
OK, so the dining room
is over there.

1009
00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:08,591
-The bar is right there.
-Look at all this brick,

1010
00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:12,462
-these rafters.
-I know. I'm going rustic.

1011
00:57:12,462 --> 00:57:13,963
-So that was the show kitchen.
-Yeah.

1012
00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:16,566
-This is the real kitchen.
-Oh, yeah.

1013
00:57:16,566 --> 00:57:18,535
Where the ugly stuff happens.

1014
00:57:18,535 --> 00:57:21,070
Yeah, I figure about
four people can fit back here.

1015
00:57:21,070 --> 00:57:23,873
This oven was a bitch
to get in here.

1016
00:57:23,873 --> 00:57:26,042
It's giant
and pretty well worn.

1017
00:57:26,042 --> 00:57:28,778
-Yes, it's yours.
-But they did it and it's mine.

1018
00:57:28,778 --> 00:57:31,748
-Can I see your menu?
-What menu?

1019
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,583
You don't have one yet?

1020
00:57:36,753 --> 00:57:39,122
You're not impressed.

1021
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:42,625
Not that I'm not impressed,
there's a lot here.

1022
00:57:45,562 --> 00:57:47,697
OK, what do you like?

1023
00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:51,935
-[chuckles] Oh, God...
-OK... No, no, no, no.

1024
00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:57,073
I, OK... I've never started
a restaurant before.

1025
00:57:57,073 --> 00:57:58,641
But...

1026
00:57:58,641 --> 00:58:00,810
-Right.
-There's an arugula salad

1027
00:58:00,810 --> 00:58:04,714
at every motherfucking
restaurant on the street.

1028
00:58:04,714 --> 00:58:07,817
-Yeah, OK.
-You need two?

1029
00:58:07,817 --> 00:58:09,919
-No... all right.
-No, no you don't.

1030
00:58:09,919 --> 00:58:12,522
When you go to a restaurant,
what do you want to eat?

1031
00:58:15,191 --> 00:58:17,093
-Comfort food.
-Comfort food?

1032
00:58:17,093 --> 00:58:19,028
-Yeah.
-OK, what does that mean?

1033
00:58:19,028 --> 00:58:22,765
-You know, lasagna.
-OK.

1034
00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:24,767
When do you open?

1035
00:58:25,802 --> 00:58:27,804
Next week.

1036
00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:31,508
Oh, I don't like it when you
look at me like that.

1037
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:34,911
-Next week, Mimi?
-Yes, yes, yes...

1038
00:58:34,911 --> 00:58:36,513
Come on.

1039
00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:38,882
-I know, it's bad.
-Time's a wasting.

1040
00:58:38,882 --> 00:58:41,584
All right, let's... we're gonna
do some menu tests right now.

1041
00:58:41,584 --> 00:58:43,553
-OK.
-We have a whole kitchen.

1042
00:58:43,553 --> 00:58:45,655
-Right... Right now?
-Right this very instant.

1043
00:58:45,655 --> 00:58:47,056
-Really?
-Yep.

1044
00:58:47,056 --> 00:58:49,692
-Tell me what to do.
-All right, really?

1045
00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:51,828
We're gonna... OK.
All right.

1046
00:58:51,828 --> 00:58:56,065
All right, uh...
Let's make pasta.

1047
00:58:56,065 --> 00:58:57,834
-Pasta.
-Pasta, yeah.

1048
00:58:57,834 --> 00:58:59,202
-All right, OK.
-Tell me what to do, chef.

1049
00:58:59,202 --> 00:59:00,537
It's your kitchen.

1050
00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:01,971
So, we're gonna need flour.

1051
00:59:01,971 --> 00:59:04,741
-Mm-hmm.
-Eggs, and some salt.

1052
00:59:04,741 --> 00:59:07,977
-Where can I find--
-The salt is over there
in the corner.

1053
00:59:07,977 --> 00:59:10,146
Let's get some cheese.

1054
00:59:10,146 --> 00:59:13,583
-OK, I like this, I like this.
-Let's raise the stakes
a little.

1055
00:59:13,583 --> 00:59:15,718
I'm gonna call in
some taste testers.

1056
00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:19,923
-Help us make some decisions.
-I like.

1057
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:47,150
[woman] To me, it was always
very strange that the right
to marry

1058
00:59:47,150 --> 00:59:52,589
trumped the urgency
of something, like,

1059
00:59:52,589 --> 00:59:55,024
anti-discrimination bills,
you know?

1060
00:59:55,024 --> 00:59:58,227
It's still legal to deny
a trans person housing.

1061
00:59:58,227 --> 01:00:00,697
It's still legal to fire
someone for being trans.

1062
01:00:00,697 --> 01:00:06,336
It's still illegal
in some states for
LGBT parents to adopt.

1063
01:00:06,336 --> 01:00:09,138
It's so strange to me that
there wasn't more urgency

1064
01:00:09,138 --> 01:00:11,708
in taking care of those things
before we were, like...

1065
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:13,042
[tape rewinding]

1066
01:00:13,042 --> 01:00:15,678
[arguing outside]

1067
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:34,330
[knocking]

1068
01:00:34,330 --> 01:00:36,299
Yeah, yeah.

1069
01:00:37,934 --> 01:00:39,902
I'm sorry I'm late.

1070
01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:42,839
-That's OK.
-It's not my fault.

1071
01:00:42,839 --> 01:00:44,674
-It's cool.
-Yeah. Thank you.

1072
01:00:44,674 --> 01:00:48,811
-What's going on?
-Um, new interview.

1073
01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:52,148
-With the marriage counselor.
-Yeah, it was so good.

1074
01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:54,817
-Really?
-Yeah, he was so interesting.

1075
01:00:54,817 --> 01:00:56,753
He's kind of, well, you'll see.

1076
01:00:56,753 --> 01:00:58,154
-OK.
-Yeah.

1077
01:00:58,154 --> 01:01:02,692
I want to watch
and then talk about it, OK?

1078
01:01:02,692 --> 01:01:05,028
[ma...series of
divorces and remarriages.

1079
01:01:05,028 --> 01:01:07,163
-Good lighting.
-Thank you.

1080
01:01:07,163 --> 01:01:10,166
[man] ...crisis when there is
a breakdown in communication.

1081
01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:13,336
If one of the members
of the couples is...

1082
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:17,206
been thinking about
getting married,

1083
01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:20,043
and the other one has never been
thinking about getting married,

1084
01:01:20,043 --> 01:01:22,745
but it's been a private
internal conversation,

1085
01:01:22,745 --> 01:01:25,982
it would be a surprise
to the other person
and the person who--

1086
01:01:25,982 --> 01:01:28,818
-[phone vibrating]
-Goddamn it.

1087
01:01:28,818 --> 01:01:31,788
-I have to, this is Mark.
-OK.

1088
01:01:31,788 --> 01:01:35,091
[Gary] Hi, Mark, thank you
for calling me back.

1089
01:01:35,091 --> 01:01:39,395
-Yes.
-[man] May have the expectation
of the other person.

1090
01:01:40,797 --> 01:01:42,098
All right, OK, so we did

1091
01:01:42,098 --> 01:01:43,800
variations on mac and cheese.

1092
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:47,737
-Yum.
-So, on our way down,
we have a take on queso.

1093
01:01:47,737 --> 01:01:51,774
So it's like nacho queso,
almost, but applied
to mac and cheese.

1094
01:01:51,774 --> 01:01:56,245
Over here, we have a
butternut squash mac and cheese.

1095
01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:59,215
-[Sarah] Smells amazing.
-Fried sage and thyme.

1096
01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:02,151
And down here we have
horse radish, cheddar,
with bacon,

1097
01:02:02,151 --> 01:02:06,022
so it's like a
Pennsylvania Dutch exploration.

1098
01:02:06,022 --> 01:02:10,893
Don't mind us as we
stare at you while you eat.

1099
01:02:10,893 --> 01:02:14,864
Mimi's really looking for
this, like, comfort food vibe,

1100
01:02:14,864 --> 01:02:17,200
something that makes you
feel warm, you know?

1101
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:20,303
Come home after a long day,
what do you want to eat?

1102
01:02:20,303 --> 01:02:23,072
[Mimi] Only one can go
on the menu, all right?

1103
01:02:23,072 --> 01:02:25,441
So which one is it
that you like?

1104
01:02:25,441 --> 01:02:28,277
[man] The sage, like,
blows me out of the water.

1105
01:02:28,277 --> 01:02:31,047
-[Mimi] Really?
-[man 2] I'm a sucker
for butternut squash.

1106
01:02:31,047 --> 01:02:33,015
-[Mimi] Really?
-[man 2] Soft in the middle.

1107
01:02:33,015 --> 01:02:34,283
It's like the perfect
combination of textures.

1108
01:02:34,283 --> 01:02:36,085
[Mimi] You guys. You guys.

1109
01:02:36,085 --> 01:02:40,323
This one right here,
she made this, her idea.

1110
01:02:40,323 --> 01:02:43,793
-Thank you so much.
-[Mimi] We have a dish.

1111
01:02:43,793 --> 01:02:46,162
-They're applauding you.
-[overlapping conversations]

1112
01:02:46,162 --> 01:02:48,231
I'm not bothered by
the applause for her,

1113
01:02:48,231 --> 01:02:50,299
I'm not, I'm not, this is good.

1114
01:02:50,299 --> 01:02:52,268
-All right.
-[Kristen] The more you say it,
the more I believe you.

1115
01:02:52,268 --> 01:02:55,104
[man] Kristen's mac and cheese
on the menu, all right?

1116
01:02:55,104 --> 01:02:59,342
All right, let's not
get too crazy, guys, OK.

1117
01:03:05,281 --> 01:03:07,550
[Gary] I like this direction.
Thank you.

1118
01:03:07,550 --> 01:03:10,953
Mm-hmm. OK. Bye.

1119
01:03:11,988 --> 01:03:14,824
[exhales] You ready?

1120
01:03:14,824 --> 01:03:16,993
Let's get this done.

1121
01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:24,867
Why did you turn it off?

1122
01:03:26,569 --> 01:03:29,238
I think I'm good.

1123
01:03:29,238 --> 01:03:32,275
-You're good, we just got here.
-[chuckles]

1124
01:03:32,275 --> 01:03:35,478
I thought we were
working on the counselor.

1125
01:03:36,345 --> 01:03:39,482
Yeah, I did it, I think.

1126
01:03:39,482 --> 01:03:44,320
-Without me?
-You were busy.

1127
01:03:53,863 --> 01:03:56,032
You're going through
a lot right now.

1128
01:03:56,032 --> 01:03:57,600
-[Gary] Say it.
-And I get that.

1129
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,869
[Gary]
What am I going through?

1130
01:04:01,270 --> 01:04:03,940
-You're getting divorced.
-Thank you.

1131
01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:07,176
I think that's the first time
you've actually said that.

1132
01:04:16,185 --> 01:04:20,022
That's it, right?
You don't need anything
else from me today?

1133
01:04:20,022 --> 01:04:22,892
I think you should go home
and take care of your stuff.

1134
01:04:32,568 --> 01:04:35,338
You're being a shitty friend.

1135
01:04:39,375 --> 01:04:45,047
It's like you don't want to know
what I feel anymore.

1136
01:04:48,251 --> 01:04:50,119
I...

1137
01:04:51,487 --> 01:04:53,890
am losing...

1138
01:04:55,324 --> 01:04:58,628
...the closest thing
I've had to me

1139
01:04:58,628 --> 01:05:05,201
and... I don't know
what's gonna happen.

1140
01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:10,606
[Sarah] I'm really sorry.

1141
01:05:10,606 --> 01:05:16,245
But I just feel like
every time you come in here,

1142
01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:19,582
I'm picking at a wound
if I'm bringing it up.

1143
01:05:19,582 --> 01:05:22,051
You know, I don't want to
make it worse, I don't...

1144
01:05:23,352 --> 01:05:26,289
[sighs]
I don't know what to do.

1145
01:05:29,492 --> 01:05:32,061
Why don't you
fucking embrace it?

1146
01:05:33,029 --> 01:05:37,466
-Like this?
-Yes.

1147
01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:51,714
[GarYou're gonna hate me,
but I think, more and more,

1148
01:05:51,714 --> 01:05:54,183
this is becoming about you.

1149
01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:58,187
And I think....

1150
01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:08,064
[laughing]

1151
01:06:26,549 --> 01:06:28,684
[Gary] Sarah's buying tickets.

1152
01:06:28,684 --> 01:06:34,290
She doesn't know I have
the camera out, but...
Oh yeah, here she comes.

1153
01:06:36,058 --> 01:06:39,695
Hey, lady. I got it out,
I figured we could
just start here.

1154
01:06:39,695 --> 01:06:41,530
All righty, then.

1155
01:06:41,530 --> 01:06:42,999
-[Gary] You got tickets?
-I do.

1156
01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:44,400
Cool, where are we going?

1157
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,535
We're gonna go upstate
to see my mom.

1158
01:06:46,535 --> 01:06:48,337
-Nice.
-Yeah.

1159
01:06:48,337 --> 01:06:51,474
Uh, why are we going
to see my mom?

1160
01:06:51,474 --> 01:06:55,544
Well, she's probably
gonna feed us. Which is great.

1161
01:06:55,544 --> 01:06:59,015
But we're also gonna ask her
some uncomfortable questions

1162
01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:01,550
about her marriage
and her divorce.

1163
01:07:01,550 --> 01:07:05,721
[Gary] Yeah, let's start
with asking you
some uncomfortable questions.

1164
01:07:05,721 --> 01:07:07,390
-Oh, great.
-[Gary laughs]

1165
01:07:07,390 --> 01:07:09,258
Why am I so afraid of marriage?

1166
01:07:09,258 --> 01:07:12,661
Is it because
my parents got divorced? Maybe.

1167
01:07:12,661 --> 01:07:15,631
Am I afraid of
ending up like them? Probably.

1168
01:07:15,631 --> 01:07:19,168
So we're gonna go
talk to my mom,

1169
01:07:19,168 --> 01:07:21,804
see if maybe
she has some answers.

1170
01:07:21,804 --> 01:07:26,542
-Mm-hmm.
-Maybe I'll
learn something or not.

1171
01:07:26,542 --> 01:07:29,712
[Gary] You could always
just give her back the ring
and be done with it.

1172
01:07:29,712 --> 01:07:33,482
[laughing] Maybe, no, seriously,
maybe it's like got
bad juju on it

1173
01:07:33,482 --> 01:07:35,785
and we should just
toss it back to her.

1174
01:07:35,785 --> 01:07:41,090
-The basement.
-Got to put a ring
on that finger, huh?

1175
01:07:41,090 --> 01:07:42,425
I don't know.

1176
01:07:42,425 --> 01:07:44,460
Well, you've been in
love for a while, right?

1177
01:07:44,460 --> 01:07:48,631
-Would you say you're in love?
-Yes, of course, I'm in love.

1178
01:07:49,665 --> 01:07:51,434
[Gary]
Will you say that again?

1179
01:07:51,434 --> 01:07:52,768
[laughing]

1180
01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:55,304
I am in love
with Kristen Jennings.

1181
01:07:55,304 --> 01:07:57,440
[Gary] Yes, that's how
I want to hear it.

1182
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,575
And she wants me to marry her.

1183
01:08:00,443 --> 01:08:02,078
-Hm...
-So...

1184
01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:05,181
-So?
-I have to figure it out.

1185
01:08:06,515 --> 01:08:09,652
[muffled music playing]

1186
01:08:25,835 --> 01:08:28,604
-Hi there.
-Hi.

1187
01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:36,145
What's going on?

1188
01:08:42,251 --> 01:08:44,820
I want to be a chef.

1189
01:08:47,156 --> 01:08:50,226
-OK.
-Um, so...

1190
01:08:50,226 --> 01:08:54,230
The other night at Mimi's,
um, I,

1191
01:08:54,230 --> 01:08:58,701
when we were working,
got into a rhythm

1192
01:08:58,701 --> 01:09:02,371
and then the next day
I talked to her about it

1193
01:09:02,371 --> 01:09:05,274
and I was like, felt like
I made some big choices

1194
01:09:05,274 --> 01:09:08,177
and I was able to
keep up, you know?

1195
01:09:08,177 --> 01:09:11,814
She was saying that, you know,

1196
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:13,549
it's her restaurant,
she can do what she wants,

1197
01:09:13,549 --> 01:09:16,218
but she can make
room for me on the line,

1198
01:09:16,218 --> 01:09:19,155
and, you know,
just because I'm really green

1199
01:09:19,155 --> 01:09:20,556
and she could get my skills
up to snuff,

1200
01:09:20,556 --> 01:09:23,792
and I know how
to do basic stuff.

1201
01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:26,462
I... my bouschenel is
better than hers, trust me.

1202
01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:29,765
But, you know,
like get me there,

1203
01:09:29,765 --> 01:09:32,935
and then there'd be
room for me to move up

1204
01:09:32,935 --> 01:09:37,806
and she said I could
possibly start on Wednesday.

1205
01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:39,808
-Next Wednesday.
-Next Wednesday.

1206
01:09:39,808 --> 01:09:41,443
I was scared to tell you.

1207
01:09:41,443 --> 01:09:43,345
-Why?
-I don't know.

1208
01:09:43,345 --> 01:09:47,850
It was just a lot,
I needed it to be like tied up.

1209
01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:49,818
-OK.
-Before I did.

1210
01:09:49,818 --> 01:09:52,788
You know I don't need things
to be tied up, right?

1211
01:09:52,788 --> 01:09:54,723
I know.

1212
01:09:54,723 --> 01:09:57,259
-But...
-This is what you want to do?

1213
01:09:57,259 --> 01:10:00,462
-Feedback.
-This is what you want to do?

1214
01:10:00,462 --> 01:10:04,333
-I mean, yeah.
-Yeah?

1215
01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:09,638
I... it's been a rough month.

1216
01:10:10,639 --> 01:10:12,308
-And--
-It's OK.

1217
01:10:12,308 --> 01:10:14,577
It's not.

1218
01:10:14,577 --> 01:10:19,381
But... I was really happy.

1219
01:10:19,381 --> 01:10:21,417
And I felt like
I was making something.

1220
01:10:21,417 --> 01:10:24,353
I was working towards
something that I cared about.

1221
01:10:24,353 --> 01:10:27,323
It was one night
and I was already was...

1222
01:10:29,558 --> 01:10:32,628
-I really want to try.
-Yeah.

1223
01:10:32,628 --> 01:10:34,897
[maTo a certain degree,
it's about growth,

1224
01:10:34,897 --> 01:10:36,832
it's about understanding
that each of you will grow

1225
01:10:36,832 --> 01:10:38,601
on your own paths,

1226
01:10:38,601 --> 01:10:41,003
and if you allow yourselves
to grow on your own paths,

1227
01:10:41,003 --> 01:10:42,905
you can grow together.

1228
01:10:42,905 --> 01:10:44,440
It's not about making sure

1229
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:47,476
you grow at the same level
or speed that I do.

1230
01:10:47,476 --> 01:10:52,281
Um, and I think that's a
big part of what has kept us
in our relationship,

1231
01:10:52,281 --> 01:10:54,750
is we're different people
than we were 15 years ago.

1232
01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:57,286
-[tape rewinding]
-[Sarah]
I want to go back, quickly,

1233
01:10:57,286 --> 01:11:01,790
to your ideas of marriage
when you were growing up.

1234
01:11:01,790 --> 01:11:05,961
When I was a kid,

1235
01:11:05,961 --> 01:11:09,431
I never imagined myself
being married, actually.

1236
01:11:09,431 --> 01:11:15,304
I had lots of fantasies about
the careers that I would have.

1237
01:11:15,304 --> 01:11:20,042
And never imagined myself
with a family.

1238
01:11:20,042 --> 01:11:23,379
[Sarah]
So what changed for you?

1239
01:11:24,346 --> 01:11:26,915
I met John.

1240
01:11:26,915 --> 01:11:29,351
We were in love.

1241
01:11:29,351 --> 01:11:34,957
It was fast and furious
and consuming.

1242
01:11:34,957 --> 01:11:39,395
You know, I got pregnant,
and we were really caught up

1243
01:11:39,395 --> 01:11:43,966
in the magic of what
we could be together.

1244
01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:48,037
-Yes, more please.
-No, it's too big.

1245
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:50,372
-I want to see it.
-They ordered the whole,

1246
01:11:50,372 --> 01:11:52,474
they ordered the wrong size.

1247
01:11:52,474 --> 01:11:54,777
-What?
-Like...

1248
01:11:54,777 --> 01:11:56,378
Let me see.

1249
01:11:57,046 --> 01:11:59,748
[laughing]

1250
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:04,787
Why are you making that face?

1251
01:12:04,787 --> 01:12:07,523
I can't do this,
what am I doing?

1252
01:12:07,523 --> 01:12:11,060
Yes, you can.
Come here.

1253
01:12:11,927 --> 01:12:14,396
It's not so bad.

1254
01:12:14,396 --> 01:12:17,333
-It's a little silly.
-Yeah, you think?

1255
01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:21,970
But no one is gonna care
once you're lighting things
on fire.

1256
01:12:21,970 --> 01:12:27,409
You know that I'll be
committed for arson.

1257
01:12:27,409 --> 01:12:30,512
You know what I mean.

1258
01:12:30,512 --> 01:12:36,985
So, I know that you got
married for love and passion

1259
01:12:36,985 --> 01:12:43,359
and all those reasons,
but I never saw any of that.

1260
01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:50,132
All I remember, really,
was fighting and then distance.

1261
01:12:50,132 --> 01:12:54,036
What were the fights about?

1262
01:12:54,036 --> 01:12:57,940
The fights were about him

1263
01:12:57,940 --> 01:13:00,709
not doing what I thought
we'd agreed on.

1264
01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:04,980
-The deal that
we had made, um...
-What was the deal?

1265
01:13:05,948 --> 01:13:08,150
He was gonna pursue music.

1266
01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:13,489
He wanted to be a musician
and I was gonna

1267
01:13:13,489 --> 01:13:15,791
support the family
so he could do that.

1268
01:13:15,791 --> 01:13:20,529
And I would come home and he
hadn't really done anything.

1269
01:13:20,529 --> 01:13:24,466
And maybe he was working it
on his own time,

1270
01:13:24,466 --> 01:13:28,637
but I think that kind
of uncovered for us

1271
01:13:28,637 --> 01:13:31,607
some aspects in one another
that we didn't know

1272
01:13:31,607 --> 01:13:36,745
and we started to grow apart.

1273
01:13:36,745 --> 01:13:39,014
You're being very diplomatic.

1274
01:13:40,816 --> 01:13:42,184
[woman scoffs]

1275
01:13:42,184 --> 01:13:44,453
Um... what do you
want me to say,

1276
01:13:44,453 --> 01:13:46,989
that we, like,
we hated each other

1277
01:13:46,989 --> 01:13:50,025
and wanted to hurt each other,
it wasn't like that.

1278
01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:51,927
You can talk about
it in retrospect, sure,

1279
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:55,030
there's distance, but at the
time, what did it feel like?

1280
01:13:55,030 --> 01:14:01,069
It felt like all of a sudden
I didn't fully know this person

1281
01:14:01,069 --> 01:14:07,576
and realized that possibly

1282
01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:11,914
he wasn't my partner for life.

1283
01:14:11,914 --> 01:14:15,584
I had great respect
for him in many ways,

1284
01:14:15,584 --> 01:14:18,454
but the more I knew of him,
the less I could

1285
01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:22,024
see myself with him
for my whole life.

1286
01:14:22,024 --> 01:14:26,061
-Do you regret marrying John?
-Absolutely not.

1287
01:14:26,061 --> 01:14:32,034
It was a step in my life
that contributes to who I am.

1288
01:14:32,034 --> 01:14:34,503
And what I know about myself.

1289
01:14:34,503 --> 01:14:39,107
And I don't think I would have
learned some of those things
any other way.

1290
01:14:39,107 --> 01:14:42,044
He was who he was.

1291
01:14:42,044 --> 01:14:46,548
And I reacted to that

1292
01:14:46,548 --> 01:14:50,886
in good ways and in bad ways,
and that's part of the fabric
of who I am.

1293
01:14:50,886 --> 01:14:53,622
And those years
are important to me.

1294
01:14:53,622 --> 01:14:58,560
You've always talked about John
as the guy that walked away.

1295
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:02,931
Did you...
how could you reconcile that?

1296
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:06,502
He...

1297
01:15:06,502 --> 01:15:13,075
I see him as having
walked away from you...

1298
01:15:13,075 --> 01:15:16,712
more than me.

1299
01:15:16,712 --> 01:15:21,783
He and I decided that
we couldn't stay married,

1300
01:15:21,783 --> 01:15:24,052
that it wasn't right
for either of us.

1301
01:15:24,052 --> 01:15:29,558
I never told him
to disappear from our lives.

1302
01:15:29,558 --> 01:15:33,161
And I don't forgive him

1303
01:15:33,161 --> 01:15:37,232
for disappearing from your life.

1304
01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:44,873
I was hurt for you about that.

1305
01:15:47,209 --> 01:15:49,745
[slow tempo music playing]

1306
01:15:49,745 --> 01:15:52,114
[lyric indistinct]

1307
01:15:55,817 --> 01:15:58,887
[man] I want your
stomachs tight, engaged.

1308
01:15:58,887 --> 01:16:01,657
Chest up, grab that red knob
and turn it up.

1309
01:16:01,657 --> 01:16:03,926
Make it a little bit
harder for you,
a little bit more fun.

1310
01:16:03,926 --> 01:16:07,796
So the supplier just had,
like, a crazy cherry crop,

1311
01:16:07,796 --> 01:16:11,600
I guess, but sent us so many
extra cherries last week,

1312
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:15,003
and so we started
pickling them all.

1313
01:16:15,003 --> 01:16:17,573
And we did kimchi sour cherries.

1314
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:18,907
-What?
-Right?

1315
01:16:18,907 --> 01:16:21,076
It sounds insane,
but it was so good.

1316
01:16:21,076 --> 01:16:24,246
And Damon like tossed them
into the ferro salad yesterday.

1317
01:16:24,246 --> 01:16:27,583
Oh, my God,
it has to go on the menu.

1318
01:16:27,583 --> 01:16:30,686
Christina lost
her mind about it.

1319
01:16:30,686 --> 01:16:33,188
I really want to meet
all these people.

1320
01:16:33,188 --> 01:16:35,757
Yeah, Damon, I don't know,
he has really good ideas.

1321
01:16:35,757 --> 01:16:38,026
I'm into it.
You should come.

1322
01:16:38,026 --> 01:16:42,130
It's been crazy
since the review, but we can
always make room for you, girl.

1323
01:16:42,130 --> 01:16:44,600
-Oh, thanks.
-You got it.

1324
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,368
I'm gonna go buy more classes,
because we're out.

1325
01:16:46,368 --> 01:16:51,139
OK, thanks. Is it possible
to not do a nine AM package?

1326
01:16:51,139 --> 01:16:54,743
Um... I think the next one
is at 12,

1327
01:16:54,743 --> 01:16:56,878
which is too late
for you, right?

1328
01:16:56,878 --> 01:16:59,381
Nine AM so early.

1329
01:16:59,381 --> 01:17:04,686
I know, but then we can go have
breakfast and see each other.

1330
01:17:04,686 --> 01:17:06,355
-See each other, huh?
-Mm-hmm.

1331
01:17:06,355 --> 01:17:09,024
-OK.
-I'll be back.

1332
01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:19,768
[Gary] Hold on just a second.
All right. Rolling.

1333
01:17:19,768 --> 01:17:21,303
Talk to me, girl.

1334
01:17:21,303 --> 01:17:22,904
Where are you going?

1335
01:17:22,904 --> 01:17:27,676
Uh, we're going to
my dad's house.

1336
01:17:27,676 --> 01:17:29,978
[Gary] Your dad's house, huh?

1337
01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:32,681
When was the last time
you saw your dad?

1338
01:17:32,681 --> 01:17:38,387
Mm, like, 10 years ago.

1339
01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:40,756
[Gary] Damn. That's a long time.

1340
01:17:40,756 --> 01:17:42,224
[car honking]

1341
01:17:42,224 --> 01:17:45,761
Jesus Christ, Gary,
do we have to do this right now?

1342
01:17:45,761 --> 01:17:47,262
Just get this shit out of my....

1343
01:17:47,262 --> 01:17:49,398
[Gary]
We're going the right road.

1344
01:17:49,398 --> 01:17:51,233
Calm the fuck down.

1345
01:17:52,334 --> 01:17:56,772
-Are you nervous?
-Maybe.

1346
01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:03,111
I need my soup,
Jared, where's my soup?

1347
01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:04,946
-Yes, chef.
-Two, two soups.

1348
01:18:04,946 --> 01:18:06,982
[Jared] Two soups.
Should I start in on the salmon?

1349
01:18:06,982 --> 01:18:09,151
No, no, no,
then we need three asparagus,

1350
01:18:09,151 --> 01:18:12,087
one suanee...
two for suanee, please.

1351
01:18:12,087 --> 01:18:13,822
-[Jared] Got it.
-I need that pan

1352
01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:15,791
screened and hot
before you put it in, OK?

1353
01:18:15,791 --> 01:18:17,893
-Gotcha.
-We're gonna finish
with the green garlic.

1354
01:18:17,893 --> 01:18:20,028
-Green garlic today.
-[Mimi] It's crazy out there.

1355
01:18:20,028 --> 01:18:21,830
-Yes it is, chef.
-How's it going?

1356
01:18:21,830 --> 01:18:23,865
-Going great, thank you.
-[indistinct]

1357
01:18:23,865 --> 01:18:25,333
-Wonderful.
-How's the soup?

1358
01:18:25,333 --> 01:18:26,702
Soup's great,
would you like a taste?

1359
01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:28,170
-Yes.
-Great, behind you.

1360
01:18:28,170 --> 01:18:29,271
Behind.

1361
01:18:29,271 --> 01:18:31,273
Behind. Here.

1362
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:36,311
OK. A little cinnamon,
a little nutmeg.

1363
01:18:36,311 --> 01:18:37,979
-Cinnamon. Nutmeg, yes, chef.
-Behind.

1364
01:18:37,979 --> 01:18:39,347
Behind
Toss that for me, please.

1365
01:18:39,347 --> 01:18:40,949
-Gotcha, chef.
-And then Jared,

1366
01:18:40,949 --> 01:18:43,452
I need a burger, rare,
kortato, please.

1367
01:18:43,452 --> 01:18:47,756
-Got it. No queso.
-No queso. No queso.

1368
01:18:48,857 --> 01:18:50,826
[Gary] He lives here alone?

1369
01:18:50,826 --> 01:18:52,227
[Sarah] Mm-hmm.

1370
01:18:52,227 --> 01:18:55,063
-Here we are.
-Here we are.

1371
01:18:56,064 --> 01:18:59,267
-Um...
-Shall we go?

1372
01:18:59,267 --> 01:19:02,003
Is it OK if I go first?

1373
01:19:02,003 --> 01:19:03,905
Oh, you don't want me
to come in right now?

1374
01:19:03,905 --> 01:19:06,341
I want you, I need you there,
but not right now.

1375
01:19:06,341 --> 01:19:08,043
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
take your time

1376
01:19:08,043 --> 01:19:11,346
-and I'll just chill here.
-OK.

1377
01:19:14,382 --> 01:19:17,452
[Gary] Oh, my God,
she's a wreck.

1378
01:19:24,459 --> 01:19:28,029
This is Sarah meeting her dad
for the first time in 10 years,

1379
01:19:28,029 --> 01:19:31,299
and she looks like she's gonna
shit her pants.

1380
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:35,971
[guitar strumming]

1381
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:46,815
[Gary]
He's home, OK, here we go.

1382
01:19:48,083 --> 01:19:50,085
[indistinct conversation]

1383
01:19:50,085 --> 01:19:52,888
[Gary] Damn, Daddy, you're tall.

1384
01:19:55,857 --> 01:19:57,793
What's wrong?

1385
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:00,462
Oh, no.

1386
01:20:03,131 --> 01:20:07,068
All right.
This is gonna be good.

1387
01:20:09,037 --> 01:20:13,341
Oh. Oh, God.

1388
01:20:16,144 --> 01:20:20,115
This is cool. So...

1389
01:20:20,115 --> 01:20:22,117
We'll bring in equipment
and set up.

1390
01:20:22,117 --> 01:20:24,186
-Shouldn't take very long.
-OK, OK, good.

1391
01:20:24,186 --> 01:20:25,554
OK.

1392
01:20:26,454 --> 01:20:28,290
-Good.
-OK.

1393
01:20:32,394 --> 01:20:36,398
[Gary] Oh, God,
what's wrong, Sarah?

1394
01:20:36,398 --> 01:20:38,233
Oh, my God, fuck.

1395
01:20:39,968 --> 01:20:41,436
[Jared] I'm glad it's
so easy to make, too.

1396
01:20:41,436 --> 01:20:43,605
-[laughing]
-Sixty covers in two hours,

1397
01:20:43,605 --> 01:20:45,273
is that some sort
of record for you?

1398
01:20:45,273 --> 01:20:46,575
For me?

1399
01:20:46,575 --> 01:20:49,010
Yes, but, you know what,
we got through it.

1400
01:20:49,010 --> 01:20:51,112
Yeah, thanks for leading me
through the weeds.

1401
01:20:51,112 --> 01:20:52,514
Any time, baby.

1402
01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:54,416
And the special,
it's damn good.

1403
01:20:54,416 --> 01:20:56,551
You liked it?
I think hazelnuts and capers,

1404
01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:58,386
they have to be together.

1405
01:20:58,386 --> 01:21:00,856
-There's something about it...
-Right?

1406
01:21:00,856 --> 01:21:02,624
-[Jared]
Hey, I'm gonna grab a smoke.
-Yeah. I'll meet you out there.

1407
01:21:02,624 --> 01:21:04,125
[Jared] How you doing, chef?

1408
01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:06,261
-Hey, Jared.
-[Kristen] Hi, chef.

1409
01:21:06,261 --> 01:21:07,529
-Hello.
-How are you?

1410
01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:09,231
-I'm good.
-Yeah?

1411
01:21:09,231 --> 01:21:11,333
-Nice job tonight.
-Thank you.

1412
01:21:11,333 --> 01:21:13,401
-Very good.
-Appreciate it.

1413
01:21:13,401 --> 01:21:15,937
I'm proud of you, look at you.

1414
01:21:15,937 --> 01:21:20,208
-Thank you.
-Look at you,
you're, like, bad ass sous chef

1415
01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:23,345
-in three months.
-Bad ass?
All right, I'll take it.

1416
01:21:23,345 --> 01:21:25,580
Yeah, yes,
I'm really proud of you.

1417
01:21:25,580 --> 01:21:27,449
-Thank you.
-Thank you.

1418
01:21:27,449 --> 01:21:29,084
Couldn't have done
it without you.

1419
01:21:29,084 --> 01:21:31,086
I thought about
a vacation last night.

1420
01:21:31,086 --> 01:21:32,454
-I said--
-You earned one.

1421
01:21:32,454 --> 01:21:36,091
If I go on vacation,
I would trust you.

1422
01:21:36,091 --> 01:21:37,893
To just run the place.

1423
01:21:37,893 --> 01:21:39,494
-Thank you, chef.
-If I go on vacation.

1424
01:21:39,494 --> 01:21:41,563
If you go on...
and that's a big if, but...

1425
01:21:41,563 --> 01:21:44,032
-Yeah, yeah.
-Thank you.

1426
01:21:44,032 --> 01:21:45,634
But thank you.
You're doing awesome.

1427
01:21:45,634 --> 01:21:48,136
-Appreciate it.
-You're great, you're awesome.

1428
01:21:48,136 --> 01:21:50,205
Superstar!

1429
01:21:53,275 --> 01:21:56,378
All right, so I'm just
gonna clip this to your shirt,
if that's OK.

1430
01:21:56,378 --> 01:21:57,946
-OK.
-You comfortable?

1431
01:21:57,946 --> 01:21:59,147
Yeah, yeah.

1432
01:21:59,648 --> 01:22:01,016
It's OK.

1433
01:22:01,016 --> 01:22:03,451
Um, so I'll just ask questions,

1434
01:22:03,451 --> 01:22:06,187
but if you could use
the question in your answer,

1435
01:22:06,187 --> 01:22:08,423
so if I'm like, "John,
what color is your shirt?"

1436
01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:10,959
-You say, "My shirt is gray."
-My shirt is...

1437
01:22:10,959 --> 01:22:13,361
-Rather than just, gray.
-Gray.

1438
01:22:15,363 --> 01:22:19,334
-OK.
-OK, you good?

1439
01:22:19,334 --> 01:22:21,036
-[clears throat]
-[Sarah] Cool.

1440
01:22:21,036 --> 01:22:23,338
-Do I look at you?
-[Sarah] You look at me, yeah.

1441
01:22:23,338 --> 01:22:26,141
-OK.
-[Sarah] Um, so, hi.

1442
01:22:26,141 --> 01:22:28,710
-Hi.
-[Sarah] John, um...

1443
01:22:28,710 --> 01:22:32,280
Why did you decide
to get married?

1444
01:22:32,280 --> 01:22:37,352
I decided to get married
because we fell in love.

1445
01:22:37,352 --> 01:22:40,689
OK.
And how long were you married?

1446
01:22:40,689 --> 01:22:43,658
-[John] Three years.
-What happened?

1447
01:22:43,658 --> 01:22:49,531
Uh, well, what happened
was we, you know,

1448
01:22:49,531 --> 01:22:51,666
sort of grew apart a little bit.

1449
01:22:51,666 --> 01:22:53,735
What were you learning
about each other

1450
01:22:53,735 --> 01:22:55,337
that made you grow apart?

1451
01:22:55,337 --> 01:22:58,673
Well, the big thing
was my interest in music

1452
01:22:58,673 --> 01:23:03,478
kind of increased
and I wanted to, you know,

1453
01:23:03,478 --> 01:23:07,649
really do that for my career
and that was hard.

1454
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:10,385
[Sarah]
Did music make you happy?

1455
01:23:10,385 --> 01:23:12,220
Yeah, it really did.

1456
01:23:12,220 --> 01:23:14,422
And I was a little
obsessed with it.

1457
01:23:14,422 --> 01:23:16,257
And I wasn't, you know,
to be fair to her,

1458
01:23:16,257 --> 01:23:20,195
I wasn't when we first,
you know, knew each other.

1459
01:23:20,195 --> 01:23:24,466
It was, it just became
a stronger drive.

1460
01:23:24,466 --> 01:23:29,070
[Sarah] Do you feel like
your interest in music

1461
01:23:29,070 --> 01:23:31,406
and your obsession,
as you called it,

1462
01:23:31,406 --> 01:23:35,744
-did that draw you
away from her?
-Yeah.

1463
01:23:35,744 --> 01:23:37,579
Could you use
the question for me?

1464
01:23:37,579 --> 01:23:42,050
Yeah, my obsession with music
drew me away from her.

1465
01:23:42,050 --> 01:23:43,685
I wouldn't call it
an obsession,

1466
01:23:43,685 --> 01:23:45,520
I think she called it one,
but I mean,

1467
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:47,355
looking back, you know,
it was just driving me

1468
01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:51,159
and I think if she had
been supportive of it,

1469
01:23:51,159 --> 01:23:52,494
it would have been different.

1470
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:54,062
[clattering]

1471
01:23:54,062 --> 01:23:55,597
Fuck.

1472
01:23:56,765 --> 01:23:59,534
-Sorry, sorry.
-It's OK.

1473
01:24:02,771 --> 01:24:04,606
-Hi.
-Hi.

1474
01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:14,049
How was your day?

1475
01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:19,554
Good, long.
How was your day?

1476
01:24:21,089 --> 01:24:23,291
Which one?

1477
01:24:33,668 --> 01:24:37,072
You smell like cigarettes.

1478
01:24:39,574 --> 01:24:44,712
That's all in
your imagination.

1479
01:24:47,348 --> 01:24:50,652
Just don't stay up
too late, OK?

1480
01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:55,123
I have to go to class.

1481
01:24:55,123 --> 01:24:57,358
Okie dokie.

1482
01:25:03,298 --> 01:25:04,833
[upbeat techno music]

1483
01:25:04,833 --> 01:25:07,435
[man] Fight for it!
Fight for it! Fight for it!

1484
01:25:13,241 --> 01:25:14,576
Seven.

1485
01:25:14,576 --> 01:25:16,277
Six.

1486
01:25:16,711 --> 01:25:18,413
Five.

1487
01:25:22,684 --> 01:25:24,285
So...

1488
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:28,857
You got...
You got divorced.

1489
01:25:28,857 --> 01:25:30,725
You both agreed on it.

1490
01:25:35,563 --> 01:25:38,800
Was it hard for you to leave?

1491
01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:42,137
[laughs] No.

1492
01:25:42,137 --> 01:25:44,305
It was oddly not.

1493
01:25:44,305 --> 01:25:45,573
I think we were both, you know--

1494
01:25:45,573 --> 01:25:47,342
-What wasn't hard?
-To leave.

1495
01:25:47,342 --> 01:25:48,743
It wasn't that hard to leave

1496
01:25:48,743 --> 01:25:51,813
because I think we were
both like... [exhales]

1497
01:25:51,813 --> 01:25:56,918
And then I know
I felt a release and a relief.

1498
01:25:56,918 --> 01:25:59,487
[Sarah] Was it hard
to leave your kid?

1499
01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:02,924
Yeah.

1500
01:26:02,924 --> 01:26:04,425
Could you repeat that for me?

1501
01:26:04,425 --> 01:26:06,928
[John] Yeah, it was hard
to leave you.

1502
01:26:13,768 --> 01:26:15,870
What was hard about it?

1503
01:26:17,705 --> 01:26:18,940
[John] Um...

1504
01:26:19,807 --> 01:26:21,943
This feels awkward.

1505
01:26:29,417 --> 01:26:31,953
-You OK?
-Yeah.

1506
01:26:33,588 --> 01:26:35,623
-Can we keep going?
-Yeah.

1507
01:26:35,623 --> 01:26:36,858
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, yeah.

1508
01:26:36,858 --> 01:26:40,228
-No, I'm fine.
-OK.

1509
01:26:42,430 --> 01:26:44,699
Sorry this is intense.

1510
01:26:44,699 --> 01:26:48,269
It's OK.
It's OK, it's my fault.

1511
01:26:49,470 --> 01:26:50,805
Sarah, can you check his mic,

1512
01:26:50,805 --> 01:26:53,341
-I'm getting a rustle.
-Yeah.

1513
01:26:54,709 --> 01:26:57,245
Just put this down a little bit.

1514
01:26:57,245 --> 01:27:01,249
I just want you to know
that you were...

1515
01:27:02,617 --> 01:27:04,385
Yeah...

1516
01:27:07,522 --> 01:27:10,758
-It's OK.
-No, it was just hard to...

1517
01:27:12,327 --> 01:27:14,929
to leave
because of you and so...

1518
01:27:14,929 --> 01:27:17,232
[Gary] I think
that should be good, yeah.

1519
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:20,268
-It sounds better.
-Are you OK?

1520
01:27:20,268 --> 01:27:21,336
-[John] Yeah.
-Keep going?

1521
01:27:21,336 --> 01:27:23,671
-Yeah, yeah.
-OK.

1522
01:27:23,671 --> 01:27:27,375
-Uh, it sounds good, Gary?
-Yeah, perfect.

1523
01:27:37,685 --> 01:27:43,358
OK, so you...
you got to know each other

1524
01:27:43,358 --> 01:27:45,026
and that meant that...

1525
01:27:46,728 --> 01:27:50,365
you weren't necessarily
right for one another.

1526
01:27:50,365 --> 01:27:52,767
What kind of things did
you learn about yourself,

1527
01:27:52,767 --> 01:27:58,273
or did you learn about her,
that made the relationship
break apart?

1528
01:27:58,273 --> 01:28:00,508
-Beat my high score.
-You did?

1529
01:28:00,508 --> 01:28:02,610
-Yes.
-I'm so proud.

1530
01:28:02,610 --> 01:28:05,947
And... they were doing
two-for-one special,

1531
01:28:05,947 --> 01:28:08,549
so I got us ten more classes.

1532
01:28:08,549 --> 01:28:12,754
-[yawns] Oh, no.
-Oh, no?

1533
01:28:14,455 --> 01:28:17,525
-Hey, Sarah.
-Yes.

1534
01:28:17,525 --> 01:28:21,062
-I can't do a nine AM class.
-What?

1535
01:28:22,397 --> 01:28:25,767
-Why?
-I get home too late.

1536
01:28:25,767 --> 01:28:27,935
I'm home at like 4:30

1537
01:28:27,935 --> 01:28:29,671
and I don't
fall asleep 'til five.

1538
01:28:29,671 --> 01:28:33,508
I can't wake up
at eight to spin.

1539
01:28:33,508 --> 01:28:37,378
But you don't like
any of the other classes.

1540
01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,984
Does Raven teach
any other time?

1541
01:28:42,984 --> 01:28:44,886
Mm-mm.

1542
01:28:44,886 --> 01:28:48,790
Only like weekdays
in the middle of the day.

1543
01:28:49,957 --> 01:28:52,694
I liked having a thing with you.

1544
01:28:54,362 --> 01:28:56,097
Sorry, girl.

1545
01:28:57,899 --> 01:28:59,834
So no more?

1546
01:29:05,506 --> 01:29:06,708
Hi.

1547
01:29:06,708 --> 01:29:08,843
-Would you take this?
-Mm-hmm.

1548
01:29:08,843 --> 01:29:11,012
Thank you.

1549
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:22,090
Why are you doing this?

1550
01:29:22,090 --> 01:29:24,726
-What the documentary?
-Yeah.

1551
01:29:25,526 --> 01:29:27,495
Um...

1552
01:29:33,000 --> 01:29:36,604
-Remember that?
-Yes, oh, my God.

1553
01:29:36,604 --> 01:29:40,007
-Where'd you find this?
-Mom's house.

1554
01:29:40,007 --> 01:29:47,014
So, that brought up
this whole marriage thing
with Kristen.

1555
01:29:48,516 --> 01:29:50,051
Yeah...

1556
01:29:51,052 --> 01:29:53,521
She really wants to get married.

1557
01:29:55,656 --> 01:29:57,458
And how do you feel?

1558
01:30:06,601 --> 01:30:10,505
I really want her to be happy.

1559
01:30:13,541 --> 01:30:15,943
And I love her so much.

1560
01:30:19,447 --> 01:30:20,782
But...

1561
01:30:26,821 --> 01:30:28,856
I don't know, what if...?

1562
01:30:30,491 --> 01:30:32,794
What if I screw it up?

1563
01:30:32,794 --> 01:30:36,464
I think it's really good
that we came here.

1564
01:30:36,464 --> 01:30:42,503
Waiting for Sarah
to finish talking with John.

1565
01:30:42,503 --> 01:30:44,539
I think we got what we needed.

1566
01:30:45,773 --> 01:30:48,543
We'll see if she's happy but...

1567
01:30:48,543 --> 01:30:50,511
I'm gonna ask her...

1568
01:30:52,814 --> 01:30:55,149
if she's found...

1569
01:30:56,451 --> 01:30:58,653
a conclusion. Oh.

1570
01:30:58,653 --> 01:31:00,788
[John] I'm really
glad I got married.

1571
01:31:00,788 --> 01:31:03,191
-Really?
-Yes.

1572
01:31:05,193 --> 01:31:08,830
We were very much in love,
and things changed later,

1573
01:31:08,830 --> 01:31:14,602
but for, you know,
it was good... while it lasted,
as they say.

1574
01:31:14,602 --> 01:31:16,604
You came.

1575
01:31:18,506 --> 01:31:20,942
-Would you do it again?
-Yes.

1576
01:31:22,844 --> 01:31:25,646
-Can I keep it?
-Yes.

1577
01:31:25,646 --> 01:31:27,215
Thank you.

1578
01:31:31,619 --> 01:31:34,222
[sighing]

1579
01:31:34,222 --> 01:31:35,223
I should probably go help Gary.

1580
01:31:35,223 --> 01:31:36,924
OK.

1581
01:31:39,494 --> 01:31:42,196
-It was nice to see you.
-Good to see you, too.

1582
01:31:43,564 --> 01:31:47,802
-I'll see ya?
-Yeah. Yeah.

1583
01:31:49,537 --> 01:31:51,005
OK.

1584
01:31:53,241 --> 01:31:55,076
-Bye.
-Bye.

1585
01:32:00,948 --> 01:32:03,184
-Hello? Hey.
-[Mimi] Hey.

1586
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:05,887
Hey, the investors
came through.

1587
01:32:05,887 --> 01:32:09,524
I got the money.
I'm opening in Seattle.

1588
01:32:09,524 --> 01:32:11,926
-That's awesome,
that's great, congrats.
-Yes! Yes!

1589
01:32:11,926 --> 01:32:16,130
OK, all right, so.
I need you to go to Seattle.

1590
01:32:16,130 --> 01:32:19,100
-To do what?
-It's yours.

1591
01:32:19,100 --> 01:32:21,602
The menu. The hiring.

1592
01:32:21,602 --> 01:32:25,106
I want you to be the head
chef.

1593
01:32:25,106 --> 01:32:26,908
-What?
-OK, listen.

1594
01:32:26,908 --> 01:32:28,876
I know it's big, all right?

1595
01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:32,146
But I was thinking about this,
you understand me,

1596
01:32:32,146 --> 01:32:34,582
you get what I'm trying to do,
I need you to go.

1597
01:32:34,582 --> 01:32:36,183
Oh, my God,
I thought you were joking.

1598
01:32:36,183 --> 01:32:38,319
No, no, I'm not gonna
joke about that.

1599
01:32:38,319 --> 01:32:41,155
Mimi, I don't know
how to do that.

1600
01:32:41,155 --> 01:32:43,157
I know you can do this.

1601
01:32:43,157 --> 01:32:46,694
-Oh, my God.
-It's farm to table,
you pick up the menu...

1602
01:32:46,694 --> 01:32:47,995
[Kristen]
It would be my restaurant.

1603
01:32:47,995 --> 01:32:49,230
I would have, it's like tiny,

1604
01:32:49,230 --> 01:32:50,631
it's like 15 seats,

1605
01:32:50,631 --> 01:32:52,833
but I would design my own menu

1606
01:32:52,833 --> 01:32:54,035
and there's actually a budget.

1607
01:32:54,035 --> 01:32:55,636
I could have a wine cellar

1608
01:32:55,636 --> 01:32:58,072
and I could train
all my own staff

1609
01:32:58,072 --> 01:33:01,208
-and pick everything and--
-OK, wait, wait, wait.

1610
01:33:01,208 --> 01:33:04,011
Could you just...
Go back a little bit.

1611
01:33:04,011 --> 01:33:06,047
Mimi's opening
another restaurant?

1612
01:33:06,047 --> 01:33:08,182
Yeah, it was sort
of up in the air,

1613
01:33:08,182 --> 01:33:09,784
we didn't know if funding
would come through,

1614
01:33:09,784 --> 01:33:11,953
but she got it,
and it's in Seattle.

1615
01:33:11,953 --> 01:33:14,188
They really want her
to expand to the west coast,

1616
01:33:14,188 --> 01:33:17,191
and...
but she has to be here, so...

1617
01:33:17,191 --> 01:33:20,328
-In Seattle.
-In Seattle.

1618
01:33:21,929 --> 01:33:24,231
I mean...

1619
01:33:24,231 --> 01:33:28,202
Want to... Want to come on
an adventure with me?

1620
01:33:30,271 --> 01:33:35,776
Coffee, fog, grunge.

1621
01:33:35,776 --> 01:33:41,916
-You're like there already.
-I mean, I want to talk
with you about it,

1622
01:33:41,916 --> 01:33:46,253
but, yes,
it's like fucking huge.

1623
01:33:50,224 --> 01:33:52,293
Yeah, um...

1624
01:33:55,696 --> 01:33:58,899
[Sarah]
I think I'm so proud of you.

1625
01:33:58,899 --> 01:34:01,068
You're amazing.

1626
01:34:01,068 --> 01:34:06,974
You're... on your way.
Um...

1627
01:34:06,974 --> 01:34:09,410
Why do you seem so sad?

1628
01:34:11,812 --> 01:34:14,382
Because I don't remember
the last time, like,

1629
01:34:14,382 --> 01:34:17,084
had a real conversation
about anything.

1630
01:34:19,387 --> 01:34:22,857
What, what, what's happening?

1631
01:34:26,227 --> 01:34:27,895
I mean...

1632
01:34:29,764 --> 01:34:32,800
You are doing all
of these amazing things

1633
01:34:32,800 --> 01:34:37,838
and you're happy
and that makes me happy.

1634
01:34:39,373 --> 01:34:42,943
But I don't really know
what our relationship is anymore

1635
01:34:42,943 --> 01:34:44,912
because I never see you.

1636
01:34:44,912 --> 01:34:46,814
I know.

1637
01:34:46,814 --> 01:34:50,418
I think this could be an
opportunity for us to

1638
01:34:50,418 --> 01:34:51,986
make space for each other.

1639
01:34:51,986 --> 01:34:54,822
I could actually
delegate a little.

1640
01:34:54,822 --> 01:34:57,958
You know, Mimi's home
by 11 every night, by the way.

1641
01:34:57,958 --> 01:35:02,096
I don't feel like I'm a part
of this new person that you are,

1642
01:35:02,096 --> 01:35:04,899
and maybe that's just
what it is,

1643
01:35:04,899 --> 01:35:07,868
-but--
-You're my partner.

1644
01:35:09,003 --> 01:35:11,005
How?

1645
01:35:11,439 --> 01:35:13,240
What?

1646
01:35:26,053 --> 01:35:27,488
[knocking]

1647
01:35:29,323 --> 01:35:32,359
-Got ya a present.
-My God, you're a lunatic.

1648
01:35:32,359 --> 01:35:33,994
Get in here.

1649
01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:42,903
-You're the best.
-You deserve it.

1650
01:35:43,738 --> 01:35:45,473
Let's do this.

1651
01:35:49,877 --> 01:35:51,278
Yeah.

1652
01:35:52,947 --> 01:35:55,282
-So?
-So.

1653
01:35:55,282 --> 01:35:57,118
How do you feel?

1654
01:35:59,086 --> 01:36:01,188
That's it, right?

1655
01:36:03,190 --> 01:36:05,826
-Got a lot.
-Yeah.

1656
01:36:05,826 --> 01:36:10,197
-You're gonna have to edit it.
-I can do my job.

1657
01:36:10,197 --> 01:36:16,837
-Mm. I know.
-So you're done
asking questions?

1658
01:36:16,837 --> 01:36:19,507
I'm never gonna ask
another question in my life.

1659
01:36:19,507 --> 01:36:22,543
Good. Because I have
a question for you.

1660
01:36:22,543 --> 01:36:26,280
Just one, you promised, so...

1661
01:36:28,449 --> 01:36:29,950
You ready?

1662
01:36:30,851 --> 01:36:31,952
Sarah...

1663
01:36:33,053 --> 01:36:35,422
I would like to know...

1664
01:36:35,422 --> 01:36:38,259
and please answer in
full sentence so we know

1665
01:36:38,259 --> 01:36:40,094
-what the question was.
-[laughing]

1666
01:36:41,796 --> 01:36:47,234
Now that you have finished
your investigation on marriage,

1667
01:36:47,234 --> 01:36:49,203
what are you gonna do?

1668
01:36:54,175 --> 01:36:57,011
[Sarah] I would do it.

1669
01:36:57,011 --> 01:37:00,080
If I felt like we were OK.

1670
01:37:03,150 --> 01:37:09,590
So, I'm just saying I want
to fix us before I say yes.

1671
01:37:09,590 --> 01:37:11,892
[Kristen] I want to work
through this with you.

1672
01:37:11,892 --> 01:37:16,163
But I also was just given
this incredible opportunity

1673
01:37:16,163 --> 01:37:18,499
that I want to chase,

1674
01:37:18,499 --> 01:37:22,503
and you've always chased things,
and I've never...

1675
01:37:24,271 --> 01:37:27,074
I've been chained to a desk
my whole fucking life.

1676
01:37:27,074 --> 01:37:30,978
I've just been doing things
I had to do.

1677
01:37:30,978 --> 01:37:34,915
-I know, but--
-I feel like it's my turn.

1678
01:37:34,915 --> 01:37:38,252
This isn't gonna work
if one of us isn't happy.

1679
01:37:38,252 --> 01:37:40,521
If one of us is just
following the other around,

1680
01:37:40,521 --> 01:37:42,122
that's not what
a marriage is about,

1681
01:37:42,122 --> 01:37:45,392
so we have to fix
what we're doing here together

1682
01:37:45,392 --> 01:37:50,965
before we make a big decision
like this.

1683
01:37:59,006 --> 01:38:00,875
You're right.

1684
01:38:06,547 --> 01:38:08,549
I feel like...

1685
01:38:12,586 --> 01:38:17,157
I've been the unhappy one
for a while.

1686
01:38:17,157 --> 01:38:19,326
And that wasn't fair.

1687
01:38:21,595 --> 01:38:25,332
But just because
you were unhappy,

1688
01:38:25,332 --> 01:38:29,637
doesn't mean
that now I should...

1689
01:38:29,637 --> 01:38:31,238
No.

1690
01:38:32,172 --> 01:38:34,208
No, you're right, but...

1691
01:38:38,279 --> 01:38:42,449
I worked through it, for us.

1692
01:38:43,617 --> 01:38:47,187
I want to work
through this for us.

1693
01:38:47,187 --> 01:38:49,456
Here first.

1694
01:38:49,456 --> 01:38:52,526
[Kristen] I don't know
what you want from me.

1695
01:38:52,526 --> 01:38:55,629
I feel like
I'm finally happy.

1696
01:39:05,673 --> 01:39:10,244
So maybe your happiness
just doesn't include me,
you know?

1697
01:39:10,244 --> 01:39:12,012
[crying]

1698
01:39:33,400 --> 01:39:38,405
Your self was more important
than your marriage.

1699
01:39:40,007 --> 01:39:43,010
Yes.

1700
01:39:43,010 --> 01:39:46,480
And I think that there
is someone out there

1701
01:39:46,480 --> 01:39:51,218
I can really fully be myself
with and be married to.

1702
01:39:51,218 --> 01:39:53,687
I'm not choosing
to never be married.

1703
01:39:53,687 --> 01:39:57,057
Im choosing to be myself,

1704
01:39:57,057 --> 01:40:01,595
fully, for the first
time, maybe ever.

1705
01:40:01,595 --> 01:40:04,565
-OK.
-OK.

1706
01:40:08,168 --> 01:40:10,170
I'll be back.

1707
01:40:17,544 --> 01:40:20,381
[dog barking]

1708
01:40:20,381 --> 01:40:23,784
-Oh my God.
-What, what?

1709
01:40:23,784 --> 01:40:28,756
-[gasps] Sarah!
-Here, I'll take your picture.

1710
01:40:28,756 --> 01:40:30,491
Come here.

1711
01:40:30,491 --> 01:40:33,227
-Come here, my little star.
-One, two.

1712
01:40:33,227 --> 01:40:35,029
Oh, you look good. Three.

1713
01:40:35,029 --> 01:40:36,430
Don't sound so surprised.

1714
01:40:36,430 --> 01:40:41,101
-Get in here.
-One, two, three.

1715
01:40:41,101 --> 01:40:45,439
I came to a point
where there were plenty
of reasons to stay,

1716
01:40:45,439 --> 01:40:47,408
and there were
plenty of reasons to leave.

1717
01:40:47,408 --> 01:40:50,511
And I couldn't
figure it out in my mind.

1718
01:40:50,511 --> 01:40:55,582
If I leave, wow, you know,
I may leave my heart behind.

1719
01:40:55,582 --> 01:40:58,585
I thought it could go
either way, you know,

1720
01:40:58,585 --> 01:41:01,488
I could sort of continue
my life without her,

1721
01:41:01,488 --> 01:41:03,323
wherever that will lead,

1722
01:41:03,323 --> 01:41:07,694
or do I want to be
with that again or not?

1723
01:41:07,694 --> 01:41:10,631
Can I let go of that
or is there more there?

1724
01:41:10,631 --> 01:41:12,766
Sarah, come on,
they're waiting for you.

1725
01:41:12,766 --> 01:41:15,369
-Oh, yes.
-We have a screening.

1726
01:41:15,369 --> 01:41:18,472
Goddamn it, Gary.

1727
01:41:18,472 --> 01:41:20,774
-That's the greatest love.
-Yeah.

1728
01:41:20,774 --> 01:41:25,546
I love you enough to have you
go wherever you need to go.

1729
01:42:25,239 --> 01:42:27,374
[door creaks open]

1730
01:42:28,475 --> 01:42:31,145
-[Kristen] Hi, chef.
-Hey.

1731
01:42:32,212 --> 01:42:33,847
I need an answer.

1732
01:42:38,285 --> 01:42:40,721
You need it now?

1733
01:43:02,342 --> 01:43:04,244
Are you going to Seattle?

1734
01:43:08,348 --> 01:43:10,517
I thought about it.

1735
01:43:28,368 --> 01:43:30,604
My answer...

1736
01:43:32,306 --> 01:43:33,907
is...

1737
01:44:31,965 --> 01:44:34,935
My main fear about
same gender marriage

1738
01:44:34,935 --> 01:44:37,938
and all of the progress
that we've made

1739
01:44:37,938 --> 01:44:39,573
is that we think that it's over.

1740
01:44:39,573 --> 01:44:44,411
That we think that LGBTQ
equality has been won

1741
01:44:44,411 --> 01:44:47,547
and that A, everybody is
happy that we got this,

1742
01:44:47,547 --> 01:44:50,984
and B, that there aren't
more battles to be fought.

1743
01:44:50,984 --> 01:44:55,889
And so, while we are
baking wedding cakes

1744
01:44:55,889 --> 01:45:01,028
and planning weddings
and kind of getting ready

1745
01:45:01,028 --> 01:45:03,330
to meet the person
that we're gonna spend

1746
01:45:03,330 --> 01:45:07,334
the rest of our lives with,
and have it celebrated
by society,

1747
01:45:07,334 --> 01:45:09,069
we're ignoring tons of people

1748
01:45:09,069 --> 01:45:12,005
who actually are
fighting for their lives

1749
01:45:12,005 --> 01:45:14,541
instead of trying to figure out

1750
01:45:14,541 --> 01:45:16,777
how they're gonna
plan their wedding.

1751
01:45:16,777 --> 01:45:20,814
And I think we have to hold
both of those things in tension.