death personified

I wake up early, feel weak and cold, didn't sleep very well
Feel somewhat ill, probably stress, going grey and getting old
Look at a joint wondering if I should wake and bake
At this point, what difference would it make?
Go to the bathroom, bleed a bit
The place is a mess, so much yellow cake and it's stinking
Play some Texas hold'em poker, nobody seems to be winning, dealer cheating and house takes rake
So I light a cigarette, I'm still a smoker, pondering, contemplating if I should quit that shit
Start thinking, wondering and my thoughts go wandering...
Been thinking too much, not enough drinking and my head is hurting

Most of my heroes are musical
But I can't relate, don't belong
Can't write a song
Can't bend a melody
Can't shift a tempo
Can't handle like Handel could a quartz fork to pitch a tune
Don't know about harmony, so I can't be in a band
I'd be the guy with a triangle in his hand
All I know is akin to whistling on a dune, almost like the wind, silence
Can't play an instrument, don't know the keys for the piano, what strings to strum on a guitar, forget about violins
Can't play a drum, don't know how to set a snare, nevermind read the strange signs and cymbals
What I know about rhythm is the beat of my heart, impulses irregular and odd
Can't conduct, I'm not an electrician, not an appliance or a product
Mention that stuff and I'll stare, listen and give a nod, feels like defeat
But I know I like death and black metal, love d-beat, for deadbeat punks on the street
Can't be in a choir, don't remember the words, forget what they wrote
If I open my mouth, what remains of my teeth is frightening
Can't sing to myself either, alone, haven't got the chords, wouldn't know the tone from a note
Scream, screech, a howl, maybe a growl is all I could bring
Can't write anything lyrical, clearly
People say I have bad structure and form, get angry, say I wouldn't know wrong from right
I'm not even english, don't know the difference between mite and might, can't even spell
Not a sorcerer or a mage, can't just conjure things, that won't fly
Need a miracle, amirite? Yeah well
Not a sage or a cleric, no divining rod, can't speak in tongues, any difference between TID and tod?
Drop the pen and pencil, get myself a quiver, rather
I'm a wizard though, if I had to hazard a guess, let me try
For now, watch the puppet show, watch the parapet
For this trick, what do I have under my hat? Not a rabbit, not a cat
An apple and a magnet, pretty slick that, how does that even work?
My hands are kinda shaking, vibrating, but I've got a bow and fancy myself an archer too
I'll shoot at an apple under a man's hat and smirk
At least, that's how it goes down, in my mind, in my head
That's okay, someone could probably raise dead bones
Maybe like a vampire, undying, or a lich. Neckromancing, got the stones

Step out of my house, sun is out, looks like a fine day. Walk for a while, enter a building
Talk to a clerk, says they don't want to deal with me, that I should get a job, what a jerk
See what's about, watch the traffic flow. There's a crowd dancing to a pulsating beat, has a cashier-like quality
But I can't dance, don't join, just won't work
Besides, find that noisy, opressive and loud

Two dudes approach me. One of them, in disbelief, in a fit, pointing at a pharmacy, a bank, a candy shop and a church
Starts rambling a bit about sickness and not wanting it
His bigger brother, or...well, not sure, says something about an animal farm and a place where some Americans and Swiss hide, that they have no soul, points at fancy cars and says that's how they roll
They look around suspiciously before they leave and one drops his glasses
Those dudes, cray cray. But hey, not like I'm okay. Maybe I'll go to some yoga and meditation classes
Continue to stroll. Haven't been eating lately, but I'm not really hungry and I see a place selling pizza, pasta and a hotdog stand
Those are things I don't do, quite sure it's bad for you. Not like I can afford it, don't have any money, can barely lift a hand
I'm used to fasting, people tell me I should eat more, that I'm starving, what would they know?

I continue, I go, albeit slow.
See a caged bird, a diseased cat and an injured dog on a leash on a property. Concerned, stop there, ring the bell
A man from a window, shielding a child, with a scream and a yell, tells me I'm not welcome there, that I should go away, go home
A woman, soon after, comes out. I tell her "don't be alarmed ma'am, I'm not a cop, just in a hurry"
I inquire about the pets, she says "don't worry, they like it that way"
She says to excuse her husband, that he doesn't know how to treat guests properly, invites me to join her for coffee, strangely flirting, teasingly
Figuring I should probably leave, I decline, saying it's late and I have to meet a friend, but I suggest she get a vet to tend
The contrast between them seemed pretty stark
The rest of the street was a dead end, turn around, not yet homeward bound

Approaching the park, should probably get there before it gets dark. The sun dimming, starting to look grey
Reaching the park, something's amiss, he's normally here at this time, nowhere to be found
He's a good friend, kinda short, keeps his ears to the ground, in a high-pitched choir at night, a good sport and his name rhymes with Germany
Nothing rhymes with Nietzsche, besides, I prefer Jiminy
Something else is astray, not a sound, I don't see any butterflies, no children having fun, at play
No buzzing of the bees, I don't hear birds singing, there aren't any fish in the pond swimming and the trees are dying
It dawns on me what's happened, they're dead, they were taken away
Fatigued, stumble, knees buckle and to the ground I fall, crying and trying to pray
Stop the disease and cancer, please. What have we done? What happened today?
Soon there was no sun, not even a visible moon
I try to muster my courage, get up and go home, almost lose my way, what next to tell my mother?
Thinking, I should have been a shepherd, father, it seems I'm a coward

Get back, forgetting about anything I passed, with an empty stare, I felt blank
Nothing seems fair, not sure why I should or how I could care
As I lay on my bed, riddled by guilt and shame, seems like the world is a cruel game
I remember my past, I regret, things I want to forget. The future and present I already resent
Lost, most of my friends, pushed them away. A cripple, with a crutch, not sure how much longer I can last
The memory, I still see her almost every day, in so many places, so many faces, but not near enough to touch
Little to offer, not handsome, not clever, unemployed, terrible physical condition, like I was in remission
Didn't have a clue, if only I knew what I could possibly do. The situation seemed critical, terminal.
I had to lie, what was I supposed to say when she came here, showed up? Prophecy, a vision to behold, that day that I met you?
It broke my heart in two, can't deal with the ache, haunted and broken from the start
Couldn't even give cinderella a shoe, but truth be told, I die without thee, I die without you
Couldn't take it, couldn't fake it anymore. The weakness of taking a knee, telling her I love her, but it didn't matter
Can't believe how badly I messed up my life. Can no longer try, death will score. Gone, estranged and alienated my wife
Quite a feat, she's imaginary, a portrait, and she left. I'm despondent and bereft
A painting, they told me that I couldn't love, that I don't use words wisely and have no charm, get over it
The picture that I painted just causes strain and pain, it seems my dreams go down the drain
Not a healer either, couldn't heal myself, them, or heal her, seems like I only harm
Don't know anymore about where to go, what to do, what to follow. Much like a shell, hollow
Maybe I'll get a boat and a crew, sail away, become a pirate, steal some souls from the wretched myth of just another day and try something new
Feel like raising my fist...and taking a blade to my arm, to my wrist
Someone told me I'm dangerous, a ticking time bomb, explosive, cold like winter, nuclear and overreactive
Tired of living a lie, weary of this teary eye, I want to go, goodbye
So maybe I'll start counting down from ten, like boxing, in reverse, for to end it all yet again
Say hello to death and he replies, "you have become me, myself and I".