Just Getting Started

1
00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:57,889
<font color="#ffff80"><b>Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick</b>.</font>

2
00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:00,380
<i>Welcome to the Villa Capri.</i>

3
00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:02,390
<i>Located in the heart of the desert</i>

4
00:01:02,470 --> 00:01:05,380
<i>is the resort community
that takes you to paradise.</i>

5
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,900
<i>You've worked hard all of your life,</i>

6
00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:09,220
<i>and now...</i>

7
00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:13,420
No!

8
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:28,540
That son of a bitch

9
00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:30,270
is in Palm Springs.

10
00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:33,660
He's basking
in the sun and playing golf.

11
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:38,380
While my husband
is drinking toilet wine in supermax!

12
00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:53,540
Now the only thing that I want
from you for Christmas

13
00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:57,140
is that rat's head in a box!

14
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:00,980
And make it look like it's an accident.

15
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:17,500
<i>♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

16
00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:20,740
<i>♪ My favorite time of year ♪</i>

17
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:24,860
<i>♪ If we're lucky we'll see Santa ♪</i>

18
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:28,020
<i>♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪</i>

19
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:32,060
<i>♪ The snow keeps on fallin' ♪</i>

20
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,610
<i>♪ Sleddin' down the hill ♪</i>

21
00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:39,780
<i>♪ Frosty's frozen on the lawn ♪</i>

22
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:42,460
<i>♪ Countin' down the days until ♪</i>

23
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:46,740
<i>♪ We gather 'round decorate the tree ♪</i>

24
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,140
<i>♪ Singin' holiday songs ♪</i>

25
00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:53,420
<i>♪ Spices fill the air ♪</i>

26
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:56,060
<i>♪ Smell of cookies everywhere ♪</i>

27
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,180
- Hi, Duke.
- Hey.

28
00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,500
<i>♪ A few more days to Christmas ♪</i>

29
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,250
<i>♪ The very best time of year ♪</i>

30
00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:08,460
<i>♪ Firelight is glowing ♪</i>

31
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:11,780
<i>♪ On everything we hold dear ♪</i>

32
00:03:12,510 --> 00:03:15,580
<i>♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

33
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:20,210
<i>♪ A few more days ♪
♪ Till Christmas is here ♪</i>

34
00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:24,220
- Hi.
- Thank you.

35
00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:27,860
Santa!

36
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,020
Oh! You're very generous, Duke.

37
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,940
Could I get you to sign
this receipt for me?

38
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,740
Sure thing. You just bought your way off

39
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,180
- the naughty list.
- Pleasure.

40
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,260
<i>♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪</i>

41
00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:44,820
<i>♪ Firelight is glowing ♪</i>

42
00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:47,820
<i>♪ On everything we hold dear ♪</i>

43
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:51,900
<i>♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

44
00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:55,380
<i>♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

45
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:58,580
- Hey boss!
- Great job, guys. Very festive.

46
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:30,700
- Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot.
- Perfect!

47
00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:34,380
Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes?

48
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:40,940
Shine it up for me, Elf.

49
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:47,420
- Nice tree.
- Who is that in my parking spot?

50
00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:50,100
Oh, that's a new resident,
Leo McKay.

51
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,340
Yeah, he just checked in
last night and he's actually very...

52
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,890
He's got a ten-gallon hat
on a five-gallon head.

53
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,180
Paid all cash.

54
00:04:59,390 --> 00:05:00,260
Cash?

55
00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:03,850
Well...

56
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:07,310
Let's invite him to my private poker game.

57
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:08,580
You got it.

58
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,470
I'll show him who's boss.

59
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,340
- In the nicest way.
- Of course.

60
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:18,270
- It's crooked.
- Hm?

61
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:23,180
- And there's a bald spot.
- So what? A lot of trees have flaws.

62
00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:24,490
A lot of people have flaws.

63
00:05:25,510 --> 00:05:27,420
You can put the bad side
of a tree against the wall.

64
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:29,100
What do you do
with the bad side of people?

65
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,860
- That's deep.
- Write it down.

66
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:35,620
Greetings, my darling.

67
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,700
Be a dear and get 5,000
out of petty cash for me.

68
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:39,700
Not a problem.

69
00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:42,180
Got some stuff for you to sign here, sir.

70
00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:46,420
Did you know that the builders
of the great cathedrals of Europe

71
00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:48,900
would leave a small flaw
in the stone somewhere

72
00:05:48,990 --> 00:05:51,300
just to acknowledge
that only God is perfect?

73
00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:52,420
Where do you learn all this stuff?

74
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,860
College of life, my boy.

75
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:56,380
Well, we've got
the gardener's Christmas bonus,

76
00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:58,020
the extra security cameras for your villa,

77
00:05:58,110 --> 00:05:59,820
the bonus you asked me
to pay out to the entire staff,

78
00:05:59,950 --> 00:06:03,260
live animals for the nativity scene.
The camels were a little expensive.

79
00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:05,220
You can't a nativity without camels.

80
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:07,100
The Wise Men came from the East.

81
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:08,300
Got to give them respect.

82
00:06:08,390 --> 00:06:11,260
Oh, and we have a letter
from the Rotary Club

83
00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:12,340
confirming your acceptance

84
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,740
- of Man of the Year Honors...
- I can't accept. Can't accept.

85
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:16,900
I'm uncomfortable in the limelight.

86
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:18,700
You seem comfortable in the limelight.

87
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:21,940
My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect!

88
00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:25,020
So, I had them close the face
on the driver by a degree and a half.

89
00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:27,180
You've been slicing a little recently.
Should take care of it.

90
00:06:27,310 --> 00:06:28,380
Good, good, good.

91
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:31,780
I think I'll just run on out to the range
and let the big dogs eat.

92
00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:32,820
Oh, Duke!

93
00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:34,460
Hm?

94
00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,620
- Five thou. Mm-hm.
- Thank you, my darlin'.

95
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:43,380
Duke, you checkin' me out?

96
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,700
Every delicious inch.

97
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:47,460
That's a nice tree you got this year.

98
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:48,860
Well, thank you,

99
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,900
but I'm a little concerned
that some of the residents

100
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,940
might not like a flocked tree.

101
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:56,020
Well, you know me, Duke.

102
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,140
I like a nice flockin' from time to time.

103
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:03,420
A bit of Henkell's Trocken
for my darlin'?

104
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,860
Whatever.

105
00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:09,730
It's a little before
my bedtime, but...

106
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:14,340
Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke.

107
00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:16,990
But darlin', you know a man's nature
is a man's...

108
00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:26,500
Hey, why don't I go and enhance
the fireplace in the boudoir.

109
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:27,660
Would you like that?

110
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,300
- Yeah, I would.
- Okay!

111
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,860
Hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.

112
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:42,740
<i>Pour moi?</i>

113
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:47,100
Uh... of course!

114
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:53,100
What is the color of that silk
against your skin?

115
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:56,860
There's a painting by Caravaggio.
You could have been...

116
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:58,270
It's plum.

117
00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,260
And you're my plum.

118
00:08:00,350 --> 00:08:01,300
Oh!

119
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:06,670
Listen, darling, I... I'm just gonna go
and... lock up, turn out all the lights,

120
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:09,540
and come back
and submit to your every whim.

121
00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:12,500
My every whim.

122
00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:16,090
Oh... Hurry back.

123
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:27,810
Uh... Marguerite darlin',
I... I think the...

124
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:32,510
Zoloft and the Lipitor
are kicking in a little early on me.

125
00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:34,140
I... I feel woozy.

126
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:35,990
- Hold on a minute.
- What?

127
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,140
Have you got
another woman in there?

128
00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:43,510
Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me
with your accusation.

129
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:47,900
You twist the knife. The wound bleeds.

130
00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:51,020
You... you get such pleasure
out... out of my discomfort.

131
00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:52,940
- I... I just don't...
- Hold on a second, mister.

132
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,700
You didn't answer my question.

133
00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:57,980
Darling, trust me...

134
00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,420
I speak from the heart when I say...

135
00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,940
Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom.

136
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,220
All right. Well...

137
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:14,980
I know I'm not your one and only,
and we've got a grown-up relationship.

138
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,020
- Yes.
- So, I'll...

139
00:09:18,110 --> 00:09:19,180
Well, I'll just say good night.

140
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:24,340
- I'm fine.
- N... no! Let me, let me...

141
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,780
- let me walk you to your door, okay?
- Mm-hm.

142
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,780
In your own way, Duke,
you are strangely chivalrous.

143
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,580
<i>Merci beaucoup.</i>

144
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,100
Still a cat,
of course, but you got rules.

145
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:38,750
Aw, I consider myself a gentleman.

146
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:47,820
And so, "Good night. Good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

147
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,300
I shall say good night
till it be 'morrow."

148
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:54,740
Can I quote you on that?

149
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:56,340
Well, you be my guest, Romeo.

150
00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:00,500
Actually, I'm... I'm surprised you even
considered a little romance tonight

151
00:10:00,590 --> 00:10:01,660
given the circumstances.

152
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:03,380
Circumstances?

153
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:04,700
Well, this is your poker night.

154
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,100
<i>Ciao.</i>

155
00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:10,690
Uh... poker?

156
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:13,500
Poker!

157
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:26,460
I got the feeling that the Duke

158
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:30,500
needed a little... Roberta.

159
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,260
Uh, yes.

160
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:37,260
The Duke... the Duke always needs
a little Roberta.

161
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:43,420
Well, from the way you just said it,
it sounds like a "not tonight".

162
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:49,270
Well, I have a meeting
that requires urgent attention, darling.

163
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:51,460
- At night?
- It's morning in China.

164
00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:59,300
Uh, well, good night, good night, darling.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

165
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:05,420
"A horse, a horse.
My kingdom for a horse."

166
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:08,380
Mm-hm.

167
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:20,540
So, a guy comes home from the doctor's.

168
00:11:20,630 --> 00:11:23,580
He tells his wife,
"Honey, I got terrible news."

169
00:11:23,670 --> 00:11:24,500
Terrible news.

170
00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:26,980
"Doctor says, I only got
12 hours to live."

171
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:29,570
- Uh-huh.
- Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible.

172
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:33,020
That's terrible. I'll do anything for you.
Whatever you want."

173
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:37,500
And he says, "I want to have wild sex
with you all night long."

174
00:11:38,270 --> 00:11:39,490
And she looks at him and says,

175
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:41,860
"Easy for you to say. You don't have
to get up in the morning."

176
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:45,910
That's funny! That's very funny!

177
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:48,140
All right. Who's betting?
Who's betting? Who's betting?

178
00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:52,540
It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money.
'cause I wanna take everything you got.

179
00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,980
I'll see your 100 and raise you two.

180
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:57,740
That' a 100 bucks!

181
00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,500
I'll see you, I'll see you.

182
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:01,260
I heard this is where the action's at.

183
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,260
Who the hell are you?

184
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:04,700
I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um...

185
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,700
Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor.

186
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:07,700
Hi.

187
00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:11,900
I'm Duke Diver, resident manager
of this little corner of paradise.

188
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:15,220
- These are my cronies.
- Duke's a legend.

189
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:16,710
Legends ain't what they used to be,
are they?

190
00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:18,220
Yeah, but you don't know Duke.

191
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:20,340
He's a resident champion
of everything around here.

192
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,780
Guys, you're embarrassing me.

193
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:24,790
I'm just a country boy
tryin' to fade into the sunset

194
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,980
with smile on my face.

195
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,100
Ain't we all?

196
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:29,580
But I gotta warn you, cousin,
we play for real money here.

197
00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:32,060
Well, I'll try to keep up.

198
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:34,740
- Oh.
- Holy shit... That's a wad, man!

199
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,110
Shit just got real up in here!

200
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,340
That's my alimony, I can't, man,
this is two months...

201
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:41,220
Okay.

202
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:42,500
Now, where you from, Leo?

203
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:46,740
I'm a citizen of the world.
Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul.

204
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:48,950
All the vacation spots.

205
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:52,070
- Military?
- No. Ex-military.

206
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,300
Currently entrepreneur.

207
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:57,260
International trade.
I buy stuff, sell stuff.

208
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:58,260
Like?

209
00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:02,140
Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks.
Big stuff. I like big stuff.

210
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:07,020
And a man of mystery.

211
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:10,980
How about we play some cards?

212
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:12,900
What's your game, cousin?

213
00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:17,140
You like Five Card Draw, Stud,
Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em?

214
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,140
Texas will do.

215
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:19,660
Deal 'em, Joey.

216
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:22,370
And a five and a ten, ten.

217
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:23,620
Ace high.

218
00:13:24,110 --> 00:13:25,220
Why don't we double that.

219
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:28,100
- Wow.
- You guys are bank robbers.

220
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,780
Gotta know when to fold.

221
00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:33,620
My 700. Here's the river.

222
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:37,470
Look at that!

223
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:41,460
I'm gonna... just for the shit's sake,
I'm gonna bump it two.

224
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:42,380
There's nine.

225
00:13:42,470 --> 00:13:44,060
- Burt, what are you? You all-in?
- I'm out.

226
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:45,860
And I'm all-in.

227
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,940
Oh man! What we gonna do?

228
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:50,100
Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep.

229
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:52,750
- Full boat, aces up.
- Holy shit!

230
00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,050
We warned ya, Leo!

231
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,540
- That's four tens.
- What?

232
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:01,660
- Four tens.
- Damn, he beat Duke.

233
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:03,070
I am deader than dead.

234
00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:04,470
I'm all cleaned out.

235
00:14:05,310 --> 00:14:06,180
Damn, I was lucky!

236
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,950
Sometimes you step in horseshit
and you wind up smellin'...

237
00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:11,750
Excuse me, you know,
I think that one's mine.

238
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:13,810
I didn't see that.

239
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:16,580
What do you want? Why'd you come here?

240
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:19,350
I came here to continue developing
my business empire

241
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,020
while working on my shaky golf game.

242
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:24,900
Oh, you... you play golf?

243
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:28,100
Not well, but honestly and earnestly.

244
00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:30,750
Well, uh, perhaps
you will give me the chance

245
00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:32,740
to win back my money on the golf course.

246
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:33,820
Perhaps I will.

247
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:38,860
You know, a true gentleman
does not walk away a winner.

248
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,850
A true gentleman keeps the game alive.

249
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:46,500
Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence.

250
00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,860
Whatever can it mean?

251
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:52,460
She's lookin' for deep comfort
and companionship and maybe a soulmate.

252
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:53,540
Nuh-uh.

253
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,580
She's not lookin' for soulmate.

254
00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:58,860
She's lookin' for a few precious hours
of intimate connections

255
00:14:58,990 --> 00:15:00,700
with no questions asked.

256
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:03,140
Maybe I'll just go over there
and pick up the tab, huh?

257
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:04,180
Can't compete with that.

258
00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:08,220
Shit!

259
00:15:09,270 --> 00:15:11,380
Well, could if I wanted to.

260
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,100
Can I buy you another round?

261
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:16,100
You can scram is what you can do.

262
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:25,510
<i>♪ The first noel ♪</i>

263
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:28,700
<i>♪ The angel did say ♪</i>

264
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:35,580
<i>♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪
♪ In fields as they lay ♪</i>

265
00:15:36,110 --> 00:15:42,550
<i>♪ In fields where they ♪
♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪</i>

266
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:44,580
<i>Season's greetin's, y'all.</i>

267
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:48,220
<i>Good news to report.
Mike Shank from villa 68</i>

268
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,870
<i>had a successful hip replacement surgery</i>

269
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,780
<i>and should be back to the Villa Capri
in just a few days.</i>

270
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:55,900
What the...

271
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,910
That's not my regular camel guy.
Where's my regular camel guy?

272
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:01,660
Uh, he's uh, under the weather.

273
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:05,980
Oh, uh, corporate is sending
a regional director down

274
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,820
to do a year-end review in case it...

275
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:09,420
slipped your mind.

276
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:14,820
I will look down upon him
from a great height. Bring him on.

277
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:16,620
Yeah. Bring him on.

278
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:21,740
Ladies, have you seen the new guy?

279
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,820
He's moving into villa 71.

280
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:28,140
There's new food on the buffet.

281
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:29,260
Yes.

282
00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:32,070
Oh, in the air, there's a feelin'
of Christmas.

283
00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:35,140
I'm Leo McKay,
and you young ladies might be...

284
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:39,500
Look at that.

285
00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:43,540
I spent years juggling stories
to keep those women apart,

286
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:46,270
and in 20 minutes,
he's got them lined up for a three-way.

287
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:49,580
Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'.

288
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,540
He's not showing me any respect.

289
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:53,060
- No respect.
- No. Nothin'.

290
00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:55,980
But he's gonna find out this is my town.

291
00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:58,660
You're the Duke and this is your domain.
I told you.

292
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:01,140
- Don't upset him, Larry!
- Duke don't like that.

293
00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:08,740
- Well, hello.
- Hello.

294
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:11,590
I'm Roberta. We met earlier.

295
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,940
You know, I neglected to mention

296
00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:18,260
that as president
of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club

297
00:17:18,350 --> 00:17:24,420
here at Villa Capri Resort Community,
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.

298
00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:30,020
Oh! You know,
I could help you fix the place up.

299
00:17:30,110 --> 00:17:32,180
You know, a little Feng Shui.

300
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:34,020
Oh!

301
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:38,260
- I got skills.
- I'll bet you do.

302
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,020
What you got back here? The dinin' room?

303
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:44,300
The bedroom. Giddy-up!

304
00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:55,090
Hi. I'm Marguerite
with the Welcome Wagon Club.

305
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:57,460
- Are you a Glad-Hander?
- How'd you know?

306
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:02,620
As secretary-treasurer, I brought
a little somethin' to warm up your place.

307
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:05,300
- A work of art.
- My sentiments exactly.

308
00:18:06,590 --> 00:18:08,780
- And thank you.
- For what?

309
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:12,700
Did you just invite me in
for a little vino?

310
00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:16,380
Red? I love red.

311
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:19,370
I love white. I love it all.

312
00:18:19,470 --> 00:18:23,180
Well, then how about a lovely Margaux
for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that?

313
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,980
You can call me whatever you like.

314
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:27,980
By the way, I am in villa 52.

315
00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:30,580
And I'm in villa 36.
What you gonna call me?

316
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:32,980
Oh my God! How did you get here before me?

317
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,420
You know that the by-laws
of our club clearly state

318
00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:37,970
that the president
and not the secretary-treasurer

319
00:18:38,070 --> 00:18:39,620
should be the first Welcomer on the scene.

320
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,500
Okay, well let's just call this
an unofficial visit.

321
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:42,540
- Unofficial?
- Why don't we just have a taste

322
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:43,820
of this delightful vintage?

323
00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:47,060
- Oh!
- Don we now our straight apparel.

324
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:48,500
- Oh, my God!
- And what office

325
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:51,340
of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
might you hold?

326
00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:53,460
Sergeant-at-arms.

327
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,780
Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet.

328
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:57,500
I think this party's just gettin' started.

329
00:18:57,590 --> 00:19:00,460
- Here, why don't I take you to dinner?
- All of us?

330
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:04,940
Thank you.

331
00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:07,220
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, yes, sir.

332
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:10,220
Look at him. Look at him.

333
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,020
He's got all three of 'em?

334
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:18,140
He's bangin' your entire harem, boss.

335
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:21,300
Oh my God! Some big,
brass <i>huevos</i> he's got!

336
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:22,900
Is he punkin' you, boss?

337
00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:25,420
He's playin' into my hand
is what he's doin'.

338
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:28,900
He said his golf game is shaky,
am I right?

339
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,390
- That's what he said.
- That's what he said.

340
00:19:30,510 --> 00:19:34,420
Well, gentlemen, who knows
this golf course better than me?

341
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:38,500
- Old cowboy's in trouble now.
- Oh, I feel bad for Leo.

342
00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:40,460
We'll see.

343
00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:52,420
I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf
tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp.

344
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:56,650
Cowboy done stepped in it now.

345
00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:06,540
We hear that you consider
yourself a citizen of the world.

346
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:09,260
Now exactly what does that mean to you?

347
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:10,340
It means that I have traveled

348
00:20:10,430 --> 00:20:13,020
from the Cape of Good Hope
to the Black Sea,

349
00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:16,860
from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome.

350
00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:20,300
I have been to the birthplace
of Mr. Shakespeare.

351
00:20:21,390 --> 00:20:24,420
And I have been to the gravesite
of Mr. Lombardi.

352
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:25,540
Oh.

353
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:32,140
I rose from the dusty fields
to the gilded halls of power,

354
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,660
first in the military
and then in the business world,

355
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,860
and yet, to this day, I retain my touch
to the common man!

356
00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:40,260
For that is who I am.

357
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:43,780
Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet.

358
00:20:43,870 --> 00:20:46,180
I'm not a poet but I have read
the great works.

359
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:48,700
Would you favor us with a poem?

360
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,010
Pretty please.

361
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:53,100
Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire?

362
00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:54,460
More modernist, maybe?

363
00:20:54,550 --> 00:20:56,740
Yeats? Williams? Cummings?

364
00:20:56,830 --> 00:21:02,180
Or... or perhaps something a little more...
earthier with a...

365
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:04,300
backdrop of Christmas.

366
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:05,540
The last one.

367
00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:06,860
May I?

368
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:08,340
Uh..

369
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:12,060
"There are strange things done
in the midnight sun

370
00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:14,100
By the men who moil for gold;

371
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:17,620
The Artic trails have their savage tales

372
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,020
That will make your blood run cold;

373
00:21:20,110 --> 00:21:22,180
The Northern Lights
have seen queer sights,

374
00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:23,860
But the queerest they ever did see

375
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,220
Was that night on the marge

376
00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:28,580
of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee."

377
00:21:29,110 --> 00:21:31,780
- Romeo! Romeo!
- "Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee..."

378
00:21:32,390 --> 00:21:34,260
Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

379
00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:35,830
I'm sorry, he broke away.

380
00:21:36,110 --> 00:21:38,750
He's a sweetheart
but I can never shut him up.

381
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:41,780
Sit. Be a good dog.

382
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,140
Sit down.

383
00:21:47,790 --> 00:21:48,700
How'd you do that?

384
00:21:49,070 --> 00:21:50,220
I like dogs.

385
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,460
Oh! Yeah?

386
00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:55,300
- I'm Leo McKay.
- Oh, Suzie Quince.

387
00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:57,020
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

388
00:21:57,590 --> 00:22:00,310
I'm so sorry to interrupt
whatever it is you're doing.

389
00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:01,540
That's quite all right.

390
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,430
Okay. Well, carry on.

391
00:22:08,110 --> 00:22:11,380
"On Christmas Day we were mushing
our way along the Dawson trail.

392
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:14,060
Talk of your cold!
Through the parkas fold.

393
00:22:14,150 --> 00:22:15,180
It stabbed like a...

394
00:22:17,910 --> 00:22:21,020
it stabbed like a driven nail."

395
00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:33,750
Sr. Jiménez!

396
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:36,220
Miguel Jiménez! That's it.

397
00:22:36,710 --> 00:22:37,660
Here he comes.

398
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,860
That's it. Loosen up, Dukie.

399
00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:41,140
You got 'em now.

400
00:22:44,190 --> 00:22:46,060
Good morning! I accept your challenge.

401
00:22:46,430 --> 00:22:47,860
Well, I'm loose as a goose.

402
00:22:48,190 --> 00:22:52,150
Mark Twain said that golf
is a good walk spoiled, but I say...

403
00:22:53,310 --> 00:22:54,710
It's a good walk enhanced.

404
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,780
Except that neither one of us
is walking, huh?

405
00:22:56,870 --> 00:22:59,820
Details, details, details.

406
00:22:59,910 --> 00:23:00,860
I am a big picture man.

407
00:23:03,230 --> 00:23:05,180
Uh, boss, we got a problem.

408
00:23:05,270 --> 00:23:07,140
- What?
- This guy can flat-out play!

409
00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:08,820
He said his game was shaky.

410
00:23:09,230 --> 00:23:11,340
His shaky is better than your shaky.

411
00:23:11,430 --> 00:23:12,750
- Wait...
- Boss.

412
00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:14,420
We watched him warm up this morning.

413
00:23:14,510 --> 00:23:17,180
This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'.

414
00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:18,580
I got a short game.

415
00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:21,420
He's got a short game, too,
and a long game.

416
00:23:21,510 --> 00:23:22,540
I assume I have the honors.

417
00:23:22,630 --> 00:23:23,500
Uh, yes, you do.

418
00:23:23,590 --> 00:23:26,820
Um, just a word of caution.
Out of bounds is to your right.

419
00:23:26,910 --> 00:23:28,500
That's the way I like it.

420
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:29,660
It's to the left.

421
00:23:41,230 --> 00:23:42,940
Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball.

422
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,020
Is that a legal club?
I don't think that's a legal club.

423
00:23:46,110 --> 00:23:47,740
My side bet with you is off.

424
00:23:47,830 --> 00:23:49,380
We might as well get some new girlfriends.

425
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,900
Thanks for the confidence, fellas.
Gee whiz!

426
00:23:51,990 --> 00:23:54,580
Well, you're a thinking man.
It's a thinking man's game.

427
00:23:54,670 --> 00:23:56,660
I think I'm gonna
hit a three wood out here.

428
00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:57,780
Three wood. Good idea.

429
00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:58,980
- Are you sure?
- Yeah that'll be good.

430
00:23:59,110 --> 00:24:01,460
Yeah, okay.

431
00:24:02,350 --> 00:24:03,260
Let it fly.

432
00:24:03,950 --> 00:24:05,140
Oh shit!

433
00:24:06,990 --> 00:24:08,260
It's a damn cobra!

434
00:24:08,350 --> 00:24:10,990
- Gun! Gun!
- I... I... I got it! I got it!

435
00:24:11,830 --> 00:24:13,740
- Damn!
- I got it! I got it!

436
00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:14,740
You see that?

437
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,620
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

438
00:24:22,310 --> 00:24:24,180
Okay, die, viper!

439
00:24:26,150 --> 00:24:28,020
- You got him surrounded.
- Still movin'!

440
00:24:29,710 --> 00:24:31,190
Don't hurt yourself with that thing.

441
00:24:33,270 --> 00:24:34,820
Somebody bring a beer cooler, please.

442
00:24:39,830 --> 00:24:41,740
Somebody put a cap on...
put a top on the bucket.

443
00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:45,580
I never had you figured
for a man packin' iron

444
00:24:45,670 --> 00:24:46,940
even if it is a peashooter.

445
00:24:47,470 --> 00:24:49,740
You never know
who's lurkin' around.

446
00:24:50,230 --> 00:24:53,300
Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms.

447
00:24:53,390 --> 00:24:56,060
Look out! Look out!

448
00:24:56,150 --> 00:24:58,460
Sit... sit on that thing.
Sit on it, you're the biggest.

449
00:24:58,550 --> 00:24:59,460
Come on.

450
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:05,340
Oh! Goddamn!

451
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:07,540
Wait! Wait!

452
00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:13,470
- You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down.
- Sit down.

453
00:25:13,550 --> 00:25:14,380
Oh, we're good.

454
00:25:14,470 --> 00:25:15,300
I almost got bit.

455
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:16,790
I'm not going anywhere near that golf bag.

456
00:25:16,870 --> 00:25:18,020
You bailin' out of our game?

457
00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:21,540
I have trouble swingin' a golf club
with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo.

458
00:25:21,630 --> 00:25:26,620
- You're afraid to play me.
- I'm not afraid of anything or anyone.

459
00:25:30,110 --> 00:25:31,020
Coward.

460
00:25:32,150 --> 00:25:33,220
Doin' a good job, Burt.

461
00:25:33,310 --> 00:25:36,980
- Come on, I need a drink.
- I think it's happy hour.

462
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:41,380
 ...sit on that thing...
- Leo, hell am I supposed to do now?

463
00:25:41,830 --> 00:25:43,380
Hell, I don't know. Not my problem.

464
00:25:44,950 --> 00:25:45,860
Sit on it!

465
00:25:47,150 --> 00:25:50,380
When a man lets another man
take care of his golf bag, Jimmy,

466
00:25:50,470 --> 00:25:52,100
he has certain expectations.

467
00:25:52,190 --> 00:25:56,150
You think a snake zipped himself
into a pocket in my bag?

468
00:25:56,270 --> 00:25:58,580
Snakes don't have opposable thumbs.

469
00:25:59,590 --> 00:26:00,940
This was not an accident.

470
00:26:03,150 --> 00:26:04,060
Shit!

471
00:26:06,510 --> 00:26:07,540
What took you so long?

472
00:26:08,230 --> 00:26:09,140
Oh, thank you.

473
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,620
I see I'm gonna have
to teach you a lesson.

474
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:14,580
I would love to have another poker lesson

475
00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,780
unless you find it easier
just to write me a check.

476
00:26:17,350 --> 00:26:19,580
Tell me somethin',
did you move to Villa Capri

477
00:26:19,710 --> 00:26:20,820
just to piss me off?

478
00:26:20,910 --> 00:26:22,740
No, that was just a happy by-product.

479
00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:24,940
But this anger is doin' you a lot of good.

480
00:26:25,030 --> 00:26:26,740
It gets the blood circulating
throughout your entire body

481
00:26:26,830 --> 00:26:28,020
instead of down there in your little ol'...

482
00:26:28,110 --> 00:26:30,300
You're lucky I have a commitment
of a higher calling at home.

483
00:26:31,470 --> 00:26:34,740
You and I... just gettin' started.

484
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:37,980
I can hardly wait.

485
00:26:39,430 --> 00:26:40,340
Nice fella.

486
00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:50,620
Tell me he's dead.

487
00:26:53,510 --> 00:26:54,730
I... I... I know!

488
00:26:54,870 --> 00:26:56,780
I told you to make it look
like an accident,

489
00:26:56,870 --> 00:26:59,020
but a snake in his golf bag?

490
00:27:00,030 --> 00:27:00,940
Sweetie,

491
00:27:02,270 --> 00:27:03,980
murder him the old-fashioned way.

492
00:27:07,310 --> 00:27:08,630
<i>Attention, residents:</i>

493
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:12,140
<i>The annual tree lighting
is about to begin in the banquet hall.</i>

494
00:27:12,510 --> 00:27:15,820
<i>Come enjoy the holiday season,
sip some eggnog,</i>

495
00:27:15,910 --> 00:27:18,900
<i>and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus.</i>

496
00:27:22,070 --> 00:27:24,580
<i>♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪</i>

497
00:27:24,830 --> 00:27:28,870
<i>♪ 'Tis the season ♪
♪ To be jolly fa-la-la... ♪</i>

498
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,340
Hey, uh, whoa, whoa!

499
00:27:33,590 --> 00:27:35,580
Santa, what the hell
do you think you're doin'?

500
00:27:35,670 --> 00:27:37,380
- This is my job.
- Oh, no, no, no. It's not.

501
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:39,580
I was hired by the corporation
that owns Villa Capri

502
00:27:39,670 --> 00:27:42,340
and 26 other luxury villages
in California.

503
00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:45,500
My party rental company will supply
Santas, Easter Bunnies,

504
00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:48,740
fife and drum trios for the Fourth,
and all holidays through the year.

505
00:27:49,070 --> 00:27:50,020
I just signed the contract.

506
00:27:50,110 --> 00:27:51,140
Well, ho, ho, ho.

507
00:27:51,390 --> 00:27:52,980
You're tellin' me
you're a corporate Santa?

508
00:27:53,070 --> 00:27:55,500
- It's a gig.
- It's a sacred trust!

509
00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:57,900
Sacred trust to you.
20 bucks an hour to me.

510
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:00,980
<i>♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪</i>

511
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,140
<i>♪ Fa-la-la-la-la... ♪</i>

512
00:28:02,270 --> 00:28:03,300
It's a disgrace.

513
00:28:03,870 --> 00:28:05,460
<i>♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪</i>

514
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,700
Hello, Palms Springs!
Thank you all for comin' out.

515
00:28:07,790 --> 00:28:09,140
Duke's not gonna like this.

516
00:28:09,550 --> 00:28:11,980
- Who is this guy?
- Here comes the freight train.

517
00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:15,020
I got your ho-ho right here.

518
00:28:16,910 --> 00:28:17,860
Yes!

519
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:22,340
That ain't the real Santa.
I'm the real Santa.

520
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:24,860
This guy's a fraud, a phony.

521
00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:27,260
He's a sleazy, corporate heathen!

522
00:28:34,790 --> 00:28:35,820
Go, Black Santa!

523
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:44,380
There ya go! Back to the North Pole!

524
00:28:52,270 --> 00:28:53,260
What got into you?

525
00:28:54,070 --> 00:28:55,700
I don't like people
fucking with Santa Claus.

526
00:29:00,630 --> 00:29:01,540
Arturo.

527
00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:04,060
Here you are, gentlemen.

528
00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:07,780
You, my friend, are a gentleman
and a scholar,

529
00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:10,940
and you are indeed here on business.

530
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:13,060
Whatever that is.

531
00:29:13,150 --> 00:29:14,660
My business is my business,

532
00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:17,500
but your business seems to be
sitting in a catbird seat

533
00:29:17,870 --> 00:29:20,260
of one-night stands
and Thursday night specials

534
00:29:20,390 --> 00:29:21,710
and Tuesday nooners.

535
00:29:22,950 --> 00:29:25,740
Which holds
no special satisfaction for me.

536
00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:28,380
What? No Tuesday nooners?

537
00:29:28,470 --> 00:29:30,930
I'm not interested in your girlfriends.

538
00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:36,980
But I could endure
the courtship of a soulmate.

539
00:29:41,270 --> 00:29:42,300
Appreciate it, thank you.

540
00:29:42,670 --> 00:29:44,180
Good. Good boy.

541
00:29:44,510 --> 00:29:47,980
In fact, the perfect soulmate for me
might very well be Miss Suzie Quince

542
00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:49,460
sitting right there.

543
00:29:50,230 --> 00:29:51,340
You... you know her name?

544
00:29:51,430 --> 00:29:52,380
I move like the wind.

545
00:29:52,470 --> 00:29:54,580
- You mean you met her already?
- At a taco truck.

546
00:29:54,670 --> 00:29:55,780
You liar.

547
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:57,540
Her dog's name is Romeo.

548
00:29:59,110 --> 00:30:00,020
Romeo?

549
00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:06,380
Well, I think Romeo is precisely
what she's looking for tonight.

550
00:30:06,470 --> 00:30:08,980
Santa from the southern hemisphere.

551
00:30:10,430 --> 00:30:14,140
If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus,
I've badly misjudged her character.

552
00:30:15,710 --> 00:30:16,660
Watch this.

553
00:30:18,430 --> 00:30:19,620
And I'm not drunk.

554
00:30:24,830 --> 00:30:25,700
Hi.

555
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:27,860
Hi.

556
00:30:28,510 --> 00:30:32,260
My name is St. Nicholas.
You can call me Nick.

557
00:30:32,990 --> 00:30:33,900
Susan.

558
00:30:34,910 --> 00:30:38,900
I was just... I was just doing
some Christmas tree lighting and stuff

559
00:30:38,990 --> 00:30:41,060
with some people who needed some joy.

560
00:30:41,630 --> 00:30:44,220
Well, I guess a half-wit Santa
who does kind deeds

561
00:30:44,350 --> 00:30:45,860
for lonely people can't do much harm.

562
00:30:46,270 --> 00:30:48,020
Then I'll take that
as an invitation.

563
00:30:50,030 --> 00:30:52,420
Here we are. Christmas season.

564
00:30:53,510 --> 00:30:54,460
Nobody's home.

565
00:30:55,230 --> 00:30:57,260
Family long gone. Kids far away.

566
00:30:57,670 --> 00:31:00,700
Is there a husband lurking around?

567
00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:02,630
- Hm?
- No.

568
00:31:03,870 --> 00:31:05,740
- First one flew the coop.
- Ah!

569
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:07,580
Got married again and I flew the coop.

570
00:31:08,230 --> 00:31:09,550
Lots of coops.

571
00:31:10,110 --> 00:31:12,140
- So, you'll never try it again?
- Mm-mm.

572
00:31:13,390 --> 00:31:15,380
I decided my final marriage
would be to my job.

573
00:31:16,630 --> 00:31:17,740
That's kind of sad.

574
00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:20,340
It's focused. It's not sad.

575
00:31:23,030 --> 00:31:24,820
You look... sad.

576
00:31:27,310 --> 00:31:29,540
Well, I've been sent here on business

577
00:31:29,630 --> 00:31:31,340
to fire someone before the year is out

578
00:31:31,950 --> 00:31:33,700
during the Christmas season, so...

579
00:31:34,670 --> 00:31:38,710
Well, if a guy is not up to the task,
the quicker you do it, the better, right?

580
00:31:38,790 --> 00:31:40,740
Mm... Yeah.

581
00:31:40,830 --> 00:31:42,380
Season's greetings. Clean out your desk.

582
00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:44,500
That's not so easy.

583
00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:48,540
But at least the music cheers me up.

584
00:31:48,830 --> 00:31:52,300
I love Johnny Mathis.
I have all 42 of his albums.

585
00:31:52,390 --> 00:31:53,900
- Really?
- All 42.

586
00:31:54,670 --> 00:31:56,100
Johnny is a good friend of mine.

587
00:31:56,430 --> 00:31:58,300
- Come on!
- No, really.

588
00:31:58,390 --> 00:31:59,710
You know Johnny Mathis?

589
00:32:00,230 --> 00:32:01,340
We're practically brothers.

590
00:32:01,790 --> 00:32:07,140
You know, your hair shines like the shun.

591
00:32:07,430 --> 00:32:08,340
The "shun"?

592
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:11,180
You know, big-ass ball
that rises in the East,

593
00:32:11,830 --> 00:32:15,180
- sets in the San Bernardino mountains.
- Oh, yeah. Okay.

594
00:32:15,270 --> 00:32:16,420
- You know something?
- Huh?

595
00:32:16,510 --> 00:32:17,780
- Santa Claus...
- Hey.

596
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:20,220
I think we need to go. Let this young lady

597
00:32:20,310 --> 00:32:21,660
- have some time to herself.
- Thank you.

598
00:32:21,750 --> 00:32:22,780
This is Leo.

599
00:32:23,270 --> 00:32:25,260
- Leo is my buddy.
- Hello, Leo.

600
00:32:25,350 --> 00:32:26,700
Gentleman and a scholar.

601
00:32:26,790 --> 00:32:28,270
I gotta get you outta here, man.
You're drunk.

602
00:32:28,590 --> 00:32:30,460
- I'm not drunk, Leo.
- I know.

603
00:32:30,550 --> 00:32:31,660
- Just overserved.
- Come on.

604
00:32:31,790 --> 00:32:33,740
- Okay, come on.
- I'll see you later.

605
00:32:34,110 --> 00:32:35,940
I appreciate the intervention,
thank you.

606
00:32:39,510 --> 00:32:40,830
Yeah, good boy.

607
00:32:44,390 --> 00:32:50,060
You know, I ever tell you
what a gentleman and a scholar you are?

608
00:32:50,150 --> 00:32:51,660
Yeah, you did. You did.

609
00:32:51,750 --> 00:32:53,300
Get your ass in the truck.

610
00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:54,940
Watch my knees.

611
00:32:55,270 --> 00:32:56,780
They're old knees.

612
00:32:57,150 --> 00:32:58,370
Thank you, partner.

613
00:33:01,670 --> 00:33:02,820
Thank you.

614
00:33:03,990 --> 00:33:05,100
My friend.

615
00:33:12,710 --> 00:33:16,860
Leo... You are a very mysterious man.

616
00:33:16,950 --> 00:33:18,660
I just play my cards close, that's all.

617
00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:23,180
No, I mean...
I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to.

618
00:33:23,950 --> 00:33:24,860
Hm?

619
00:33:25,590 --> 00:33:30,610
And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret.

620
00:33:31,230 --> 00:33:33,260
- You wanna hear it?
- No, not really, no.

621
00:33:33,350 --> 00:33:34,700
Seriously, Leo.

622
00:33:35,230 --> 00:33:36,860
- Seriously?
- Yeah.

623
00:33:37,430 --> 00:33:38,580
You're not a serious man.

624
00:33:38,670 --> 00:33:40,150
A serious man would
not have behaved himself

625
00:33:40,230 --> 00:33:42,100
in front of Miss Suzie Quince
the way you did.

626
00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:43,420
What?

627
00:33:43,710 --> 00:33:49,940
You're just jealous
because she was so receptive. You...

628
00:33:50,310 --> 00:33:52,260
You are not as charming
as you think you are.

629
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:54,100
Hey...

630
00:33:54,750 --> 00:33:56,620
agree to disagree, babe.

631
00:34:01,230 --> 00:34:03,460
- I need a cup of coffee.
- You need a new liver.

632
00:34:03,590 --> 00:34:06,310
You should have seen
what she was doin' with her eyes.

633
00:34:06,390 --> 00:34:08,300
I did. She was looking for an exit.

634
00:34:09,030 --> 00:34:12,380
<i>♪ Silent night ♪</i>

635
00:34:12,830 --> 00:34:15,860
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

636
00:34:16,550 --> 00:34:19,940
<i>♪ All is calm ♪</i>

637
00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:23,420
<i>♪ All is bright ♪</i>

638
00:34:23,830 --> 00:34:26,550
<i>♪ 'Round yon virgin... ♪</i>

639
00:34:26,990 --> 00:34:29,580
Duke, you still rule
this one side of town.

640
00:34:29,670 --> 00:34:31,380
- Yeah.
- Kick corporate's ass.

641
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:35,500
Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy.

642
00:34:35,590 --> 00:34:36,540
To the status quo.

643
00:34:36,630 --> 00:34:38,980
The way we've always done things.

644
00:34:39,070 --> 00:34:40,220
- Status quo.
- Duke.

645
00:34:40,310 --> 00:34:41,460
- What?
- Boss is here.

646
00:34:41,870 --> 00:34:43,380
The hell are you talkin' about?
I'm the boss.

647
00:34:43,470 --> 00:34:45,740
I mean, the regional director.

648
00:34:45,830 --> 00:34:48,660
Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in.

649
00:34:56,950 --> 00:34:58,140
Hello,

650
00:34:58,270 --> 00:35:00,380
I'm Suzie Quince, regional director.

651
00:35:02,510 --> 00:35:05,820
I... thought...
I thought you said you were...

652
00:35:06,670 --> 00:35:11,100
sent down here to evaluate
somebody's job performance,

653
00:35:11,190 --> 00:35:14,820
maybe fire them before the year was out?

654
00:35:15,270 --> 00:35:17,220
When you're not Santa Claus,
are you Duke Diver?

655
00:35:17,910 --> 00:35:20,500
- Probably.
- Well, when a man's not up to the task,

656
00:35:20,830 --> 00:35:22,540
it's best to get it over with quick.

657
00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:27,750
Guys, guys, why don't you go out
and practice

658
00:35:27,830 --> 00:35:30,180
your shuffleboard stroke or something?

659
00:35:36,510 --> 00:35:38,460
There are many, many irregularities.

660
00:35:38,550 --> 00:35:41,460
You're damn right,
and I got one I wanna report right now.

661
00:35:41,550 --> 00:35:42,380
Please do.

662
00:35:42,470 --> 00:35:47,620
They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus.
I wanna know who hired him.

663
00:35:47,710 --> 00:35:48,620
I did.

664
00:35:49,310 --> 00:35:50,140
I made a deal

665
00:35:50,230 --> 00:35:52,950
with a national party rental firm
to service all our outlets.

666
00:35:53,790 --> 00:35:55,500
- Our outlets?
- Yes.

667
00:35:56,310 --> 00:35:57,530
Lady, this is our home.

668
00:35:58,270 --> 00:36:00,460
We have a way of doing things
here... that work.

669
00:36:00,550 --> 00:36:02,340
This isn't your company, Mr. Diver.

670
00:36:02,430 --> 00:36:05,070
- Protocols are not being followed.
- Protocols?

671
00:36:05,670 --> 00:36:06,860
Everybody's happy here.

672
00:36:06,950 --> 00:36:10,140
Aren't you happy?
And happiness is not a condition, lady.

673
00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:12,580
- It's a choice.
- No! Okay. Well, you know what?

674
00:36:12,670 --> 00:36:14,900
I don't need your pop psychology,
Dr. Phil.

675
00:36:14,990 --> 00:36:17,260
And don't knock Dr. Phil.
He's a personal friend of mine.

676
00:36:17,630 --> 00:36:20,660
Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil.

677
00:36:22,870 --> 00:36:24,460
You're an unhappy woman.

678
00:36:25,230 --> 00:36:26,780
And you're wrong about me.

679
00:36:26,870 --> 00:36:28,980
Well, happiness can be found
in a lot of places

680
00:36:29,110 --> 00:36:31,670
including a fine bar late at night.

681
00:36:32,110 --> 00:36:33,020
Alone?

682
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:34,970
- Jimmy?
- Hm?

683
00:36:35,950 --> 00:36:39,860
Have the bookkeeper gather
all records, receipts, contracts,

684
00:36:39,950 --> 00:36:41,740
and have them on my desk in the morning

685
00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:46,140
along with every piece of paper
that Duke Diver ever signed.

686
00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:49,380
Uh, you want every single one?

687
00:36:49,470 --> 00:36:51,300
Every single one.

688
00:36:52,510 --> 00:36:54,100
I suppose you want a tour.

689
00:36:54,190 --> 00:36:55,740
Of the entire operation.

690
00:36:56,830 --> 00:36:57,740
Romeo.

691
00:36:58,790 --> 00:37:01,100
Oh shit!

692
00:37:06,590 --> 00:37:08,020
I think you're going to be
very impressed

693
00:37:08,150 --> 00:37:09,500
with what we have going on here.

694
00:37:12,710 --> 00:37:14,340
Oh, tango.

695
00:37:14,830 --> 00:37:15,660
Duke's idea.

696
00:37:17,510 --> 00:37:19,540
Oh, tai chi.

697
00:37:19,630 --> 00:37:21,110
Also Duke's idea.

698
00:37:23,350 --> 00:37:26,540
Now, I think you're going to be
especially impressed with this.

699
00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:29,060
- This is very important...
- This is our regular Thursday class.

700
00:37:29,150 --> 00:37:31,300
Real sex, loving sex,

701
00:37:31,390 --> 00:37:34,780
affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex

702
00:37:34,870 --> 00:37:38,060
still must be part of your daily
existence.

703
00:37:38,150 --> 00:37:40,870
The older we get, the better it gets.

704
00:37:43,550 --> 00:37:44,460
Duke's idea.

705
00:37:44,830 --> 00:37:45,900
Catching on.

706
00:37:45,990 --> 00:37:48,710
In defense of Mr. Diver,
this place is always packed.

707
00:37:48,790 --> 00:37:51,350
Last week we had this expert on group sex,
and he said that the...

708
00:37:51,430 --> 00:37:54,540
Oh... there's experts on that?

709
00:37:55,990 --> 00:37:56,860
Yes.

710
00:37:57,710 --> 00:37:59,140
And he was very,

711
00:38:00,270 --> 00:38:01,380
very good.

712
00:38:03,110 --> 00:38:04,020
Okay.

713
00:38:04,350 --> 00:38:06,420
I know that you feel
like you might have seen enough, but

714
00:38:06,750 --> 00:38:08,860
I promise you this place
is absolutely wonderful.

715
00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:10,540
The rocks. You can see
the rock formations.

716
00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:12,150
I don't know if you've studied geology,

717
00:38:12,230 --> 00:38:15,420
but I just, I really hope you can
come to love it here the way we all do.

718
00:38:16,550 --> 00:38:18,220
I mean, Duke is doing a great job.

719
00:38:18,310 --> 00:38:19,420
If you could just...

720
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:22,580
It really is beautiful out here.

721
00:38:24,350 --> 00:38:25,260
Leo.

722
00:38:27,270 --> 00:38:29,700
Oh shit! Oh, this is bad.

723
00:38:29,790 --> 00:38:31,220
This is gonna be bad!

724
00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:33,620
There was some blue in there.

725
00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:38,460
That's stunning.

726
00:38:38,750 --> 00:38:39,660
Yes, you are.

727
00:38:42,750 --> 00:38:46,790
So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress,
you're a poet, and you paint.

728
00:38:46,870 --> 00:38:48,580
I'm exploring my feminine side.

729
00:38:50,990 --> 00:38:54,700
So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver?
Seems like an odd combination.

730
00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,010
Friend is a very strong word.

731
00:38:58,550 --> 00:38:59,340
It's primal.

732
00:38:59,470 --> 00:39:00,950
Yeah. It is.

733
00:39:01,790 --> 00:39:04,220
Son of a bitch, what is he up to?

734
00:39:10,550 --> 00:39:12,940
I thought you said
you had to uncover enough irregularities

735
00:39:13,030 --> 00:39:14,300
so you could fire me.

736
00:39:15,070 --> 00:39:16,550
Well, I'm still reviewing the books.

737
00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:18,110
Your friend's a painter.

738
00:39:18,190 --> 00:39:19,020
Who knew?

739
00:39:19,110 --> 00:39:20,590
It's the San Jacinto mountains.

740
00:39:20,670 --> 00:39:22,820
- It's the what?
- It's the San Jacinto mountains.

741
00:39:24,230 --> 00:39:26,140
If this is the San Jacinto mountains,

742
00:39:26,470 --> 00:39:27,950
Bob Hope's house is right here.

743
00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:29,740
I'm not puttin'
Bob Hope's house in my picture.

744
00:39:29,830 --> 00:39:31,500
Thought it would make it better,
if you'd ask me.

745
00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:33,820
No. Do you see the influence of Cézanne...

746
00:39:33,910 --> 00:39:36,260
...I owe everything to Cézanne.

747
00:39:36,350 --> 00:39:39,860
Oh, I see a little more expressionism
than impressionism.

748
00:39:40,190 --> 00:39:42,580
A little bit more Kirchner than Cézanne.

749
00:39:42,670 --> 00:39:46,980
Maybe just a tiny touch
of Friedensreich Hundertwasser.

750
00:39:47,070 --> 00:39:48,780
I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser?

751
00:39:49,510 --> 00:39:51,700
Hm. I may have to reassess my own work.

752
00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:53,980
This is shit!

753
00:39:55,110 --> 00:39:58,100
Romeo? Romeo!

754
00:39:58,190 --> 00:40:00,100
Oh, no, no!

755
00:40:02,230 --> 00:40:03,140
Oh, God!

756
00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:10,220
Romeo!

757
00:40:11,190 --> 00:40:12,140
Thank you.

758
00:40:13,270 --> 00:40:16,860
Oh, Leo, thank you.

759
00:40:16,950 --> 00:40:19,100
Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much.

760
00:40:19,190 --> 00:40:21,100
Hop in the truck
and I will take you to the vet.

761
00:40:21,190 --> 00:40:22,100
Oh, Leo!

762
00:40:22,950 --> 00:40:24,020
Mr. Hero.

763
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:36,780
There. Bob Hope's house.

764
00:40:38,030 --> 00:40:40,540
Looks better. It's not that damn hard.

765
00:40:41,070 --> 00:40:44,700
<i>I have sad news
to report to the Villa Capri family today.</i>

766
00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:49,180
<i>Mike Shank in villa 68
had a massive coronary</i>

767
00:40:49,270 --> 00:40:51,830
<i>late last night while I was visiting.</i>

768
00:40:52,790 --> 00:40:54,980
<i>My presence was a total coincidence.</i>

769
00:40:55,190 --> 00:40:57,940
Great, fellas. This is great.
This is your finest work.

770
00:40:58,310 --> 00:40:59,380
Hey, where you been, boss?

771
00:40:59,470 --> 00:41:02,820
Miss Quince.
She wants my neck and Leo's bed.

772
00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:04,780
Well, what you gonna do?

773
00:41:04,870 --> 00:41:05,780
This is war!

774
00:41:06,710 --> 00:41:10,490
Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri,
everything I've built is at stake.

775
00:41:10,870 --> 00:41:12,500
And if the corporation takes over,

776
00:41:12,590 --> 00:41:15,020
our very way of life disappears,
gentlemen.

777
00:41:15,350 --> 00:41:16,900
Miss Quince is evil.

778
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:20,260
- She is evil, but she's hot.
- What you gonna do, boss?

779
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:25,100
I'm gonna use my legendary charm,
if I may be so humble...

780
00:41:25,590 --> 00:41:27,300
- Mm-hm.
- And seduce her.

781
00:41:28,230 --> 00:41:30,220
Give her a bit of the old <i>je ne sais quoi.</i>

782
00:41:30,310 --> 00:41:31,500
That's Spanish, right?

783
00:41:32,110 --> 00:41:35,020
I'm gonna take the corporate starch
outta that woman's knickers.

784
00:41:35,110 --> 00:41:36,100
She deserves it.

785
00:41:36,190 --> 00:41:38,910
And if there's anybody can do it,
it's you, Duke.

786
00:41:38,990 --> 00:41:41,660
But first, Leo McKay.

787
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:42,660
Mm-hm.

788
00:41:43,150 --> 00:41:44,140
I gotta take him down.

789
00:41:44,230 --> 00:41:45,580
- Oh!
- Take him down?

790
00:42:04,750 --> 00:42:06,500
Tie his hind legs together
with a pickin' string

791
00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:08,820
so he doesn't scratch those stitches out.

792
00:42:09,270 --> 00:42:12,980
- Uh, pickin' string?
- Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn.

793
00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:16,620
Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

794
00:42:16,750 --> 00:42:19,140
I have to get back
and do the company survey.

795
00:42:19,230 --> 00:42:22,020
You take your work seriously
and I respect that.

796
00:42:23,110 --> 00:42:25,700
Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it.

797
00:42:25,790 --> 00:42:26,700
Yes, ma'am.

798
00:42:38,910 --> 00:42:39,820
Now what?

799
00:42:40,590 --> 00:42:41,660
Renaissance Man.

800
00:42:45,430 --> 00:42:46,340
What else do you do?

801
00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:48,940
I'm on a journey of self-discovery
and exploration...

802
00:42:49,030 --> 00:42:50,300
Oh, shut up!

803
00:42:56,350 --> 00:42:59,020
Villa Capri is not big enough
for both of us, Leo.

804
00:42:59,630 --> 00:43:00,950
If you wanna do somethin' about that,

805
00:43:01,030 --> 00:43:03,220
I'll beat you the best of five
of anything ever invented.

806
00:43:04,590 --> 00:43:06,300
Game room. One hour.

807
00:43:06,950 --> 00:43:08,580
- I'm not getting fired because you...
- Make the call.

808
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:09,580
...forgot to make the call.

809
00:43:09,670 --> 00:43:10,940
No! I don't care if they call you...

810
00:43:11,030 --> 00:43:12,380
- Oh, good! We're all here.
- Hey!

811
00:43:12,710 --> 00:43:14,780
Time to sharpen the knives,
circle the wagons,

812
00:43:14,870 --> 00:43:16,940
- pull up our bootstraps and buckle down.
- Hey.

813
00:43:17,030 --> 00:43:18,510
It's all here, Miss Quince.

814
00:43:18,590 --> 00:43:20,100
Great. Okay.

815
00:43:20,710 --> 00:43:23,900
So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash?

816
00:43:26,910 --> 00:43:29,860
Wh... whenever he asks for it.
I... I just go and...

817
00:43:30,350 --> 00:43:31,940
Whenever he asks for it?

818
00:43:33,270 --> 00:43:36,900
You know what?
This company is not his personal ATM.

819
00:43:36,990 --> 00:43:39,100
Look, Duke is an honorable man.

820
00:43:39,190 --> 00:43:41,780
I'm sure you're not going
to find anything that... whoa!

821
00:43:41,870 --> 00:43:43,190
Hm, my God!

822
00:43:43,670 --> 00:43:46,700
Honorable. What do you call these?

823
00:43:47,190 --> 00:43:48,410
Size 14, lots of fun.

824
00:43:48,910 --> 00:43:49,980
You want to audit those, too?

825
00:43:50,950 --> 00:43:52,350
You know what? I just might.

826
00:43:53,790 --> 00:43:58,990
Miss Quince will never fall for your...
transparent... dishonor.

827
00:43:59,070 --> 00:44:02,580
My dishonor, I'll have you know,
is not transparent.

828
00:44:14,910 --> 00:44:17,220
- I wonder if he could lift me like that.
- Oh, my...

829
00:44:19,150 --> 00:44:20,780
- In my trap.
- I counter!

830
00:44:27,030 --> 00:44:29,860
This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss.

831
00:44:29,950 --> 00:44:31,860
- Don't go there.
- What do you mean, "Don't go there"?

832
00:44:31,950 --> 00:44:34,620
Your mama said don't go there last night!

833
00:44:35,630 --> 00:44:37,580
- Checkmate!
- Oh!

834
00:44:41,990 --> 00:44:43,260
Oh!

835
00:44:50,390 --> 00:44:51,940
I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!

836
00:44:53,510 --> 00:44:54,780
- You've got it?
- You got it?

837
00:44:54,870 --> 00:44:56,620
- You got it! You...
- Got it!

838
00:44:57,630 --> 00:44:58,850
- You don't got it.
- Take it.

839
00:44:58,950 --> 00:45:01,300
Take it, take it, take it!

840
00:45:02,270 --> 00:45:03,940
The score is tied, Mr. Diver.

841
00:45:04,030 --> 00:45:06,020
Choose your game to finish this.

842
00:45:07,910 --> 00:45:08,740
Limbo!

843
00:45:08,830 --> 00:45:10,260
- Limbo!
- Wow!

844
00:45:10,350 --> 00:45:11,420
Oh, we got him!

845
00:45:11,550 --> 00:45:13,030
I said stop that!

846
00:45:13,830 --> 00:45:14,820
You first.

847
00:45:21,030 --> 00:45:22,580
He can do it, he can do it!

848
00:45:29,230 --> 00:45:31,180
This is bullshit!

849
00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:35,300
I'll take that as a pass.

850
00:45:35,750 --> 00:45:37,150
Music!

851
00:46:19,910 --> 00:46:20,980
Disqualification!

852
00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:23,530
His knees touched the ground.
I'm starting a protest!

853
00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:34,220
Meet me in your office
tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.

854
00:46:35,030 --> 00:46:35,860
Sharp.

855
00:46:41,950 --> 00:46:45,100
<i>♪ You, me and a Christmas tree ♪</i>

856
00:46:45,710 --> 00:46:48,300
<i>♪ Is all I want this year ♪</i>

857
00:46:49,110 --> 00:46:52,620
<i>♪ Just me, you and a tree will do ♪</i>

858
00:46:53,350 --> 00:46:55,860
<i>♪ Oh, just to have you near ♪</i>

859
00:46:56,670 --> 00:46:59,860
<i>♪ Beneath the twinkling lights ♪</i>

860
00:47:00,430 --> 00:47:03,180
<i>♪ And shiny colored balls ♪</i>

861
00:47:03,910 --> 00:47:06,860
<i>♪ We'll make our holiday delight ♪</i>

862
00:47:08,030 --> 00:47:10,100
<i>♪ While little pine needles fall ♪</i>

863
00:47:12,990 --> 00:47:14,020
Well, he's late.

864
00:47:14,470 --> 00:47:16,380
That is very unusual.

865
00:47:16,470 --> 00:47:17,790
Duke is very punctual.

866
00:47:18,830 --> 00:47:21,580
Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys
take the morning off?

867
00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:24,660
Why don't you not
and just sit right there.

868
00:47:24,750 --> 00:47:27,260
- This is business.
- Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly.

869
00:47:27,350 --> 00:47:29,140
Oh, no, that's not appropriate.

870
00:47:30,710 --> 00:47:32,780
<i>Maison de Chocolat...</i>

871
00:47:34,110 --> 00:47:35,620
Come on. Try it.

872
00:47:36,790 --> 00:47:39,380
This... this is about receipts and

873
00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:40,860
and contracts.

874
00:47:40,990 --> 00:47:42,820
Oh, it's nutty and dark.

875
00:47:42,950 --> 00:47:46,020
Maybe I'll take...
I'll take a couple for later.

876
00:47:46,550 --> 00:47:47,380
Thank you.

877
00:47:47,470 --> 00:47:49,380
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Good, good, good.

878
00:47:49,470 --> 00:47:52,660
- Now, it, it, it all adds up.
- Oh, no. It doesn't.

879
00:47:53,270 --> 00:47:55,140
Two thousand dollars for camel rental.

880
00:47:57,230 --> 00:47:59,790
How do you think the Three Wise Men
got to Bethlehem?

881
00:48:00,430 --> 00:48:03,020
What does Palm Springs
have to do with Bethlehem?

882
00:48:03,110 --> 00:48:05,020
Bethlehem was just like this.

883
00:48:05,790 --> 00:48:09,750
Palm trees, warm breezes,
people walkin' around in shirtsleeves.

884
00:48:09,830 --> 00:48:14,220
Not this snow-covered bullshit
dreamed up by Hallmark Cards.

885
00:48:14,310 --> 00:48:15,420
I like the snow.

886
00:48:15,950 --> 00:48:19,220
Would you deprive the residents
of Villa Capri of their dromedaries?

887
00:48:19,310 --> 00:48:21,100
Are you a dromedary depriver?

888
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:22,510
Okay, forget the camels.

889
00:48:24,230 --> 00:48:27,460
The Gentlemen's Club.
Dancers. Right there. Dancers.

890
00:48:27,550 --> 00:48:29,460
Yeah. Well, they were strippers.

891
00:48:29,550 --> 00:48:31,300
Oh, I knew it!

892
00:48:31,390 --> 00:48:32,900
No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet.

893
00:48:32,990 --> 00:48:37,100
They were... they were sweet.
They made the men feel young and virile.

894
00:48:37,350 --> 00:48:39,300
Even taught the ladies
a couple of tricks, and...

895
00:48:39,390 --> 00:48:41,020
- and I can vouch for that.
- Ew.

896
00:48:42,270 --> 00:48:43,490
Golf clubs.

897
00:48:43,590 --> 00:48:45,340
Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars.

898
00:48:45,470 --> 00:48:47,930
Probably brought in
about a million dollars' worth of business

899
00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:51,540
hosting potential buyers
on the golf course.

900
00:48:51,830 --> 00:48:52,660
- Duke...
- Hm?

901
00:48:52,750 --> 00:48:54,500
It's the corporation's petty cash.

902
00:48:55,550 --> 00:48:57,420
You are apparently unfamiliar

903
00:48:57,550 --> 00:49:02,020
with US Tax Codes special addendum 44,
parts three and seven

904
00:49:02,590 --> 00:49:06,470
which define explicitly those,
and I quote,

905
00:49:06,830 --> 00:49:10,380
"reasonable expenses pertaining
to a business's ongoing operation."

906
00:49:10,790 --> 00:49:13,300
- Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the..."
- Stop it!

907
00:49:16,870 --> 00:49:17,780
Okay.

908
00:49:18,270 --> 00:49:20,580
Just... want to know,

909
00:49:21,470 --> 00:49:24,030
are you keeping your heart open for me
like I am for you?

910
00:49:24,110 --> 00:49:26,670
Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are.

911
00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:30,060
Actually, I can't even find
you in the national corporate database.

912
00:49:33,350 --> 00:49:36,260
Oh, well, basically,
if I don't exist, what?

913
00:49:36,350 --> 00:49:39,380
- Does that mean we're finished?
- No, we haven't even started.

914
00:49:40,750 --> 00:49:44,180
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Anyway, I... I gotta go and get ready

915
00:49:44,270 --> 00:49:45,750
- for the big Christmas Eve party.
- Wh... wh...

916
00:49:45,830 --> 00:49:50,020
And have I got a surprise for you!

917
00:49:52,550 --> 00:49:53,660
I don't want a surprise.

918
00:49:54,990 --> 00:49:57,580
- I'm sure it's very nice.
- You shut up!

919
00:50:01,310 --> 00:50:02,900
And now, ladies and gentlemen,

920
00:50:02,990 --> 00:50:05,060
we invite you to please
put your hands together

921
00:50:05,150 --> 00:50:09,980
and give it up
for our beloved leader, Duke Diver.

922
00:50:10,070 --> 00:50:11,390
<i>Hello, everybody.</i>

923
00:50:17,870 --> 00:50:19,190
<i>Merry Christmas!</i>

924
00:50:20,710 --> 00:50:23,700
<i>Mer-ry Christmas!</i>

925
00:50:23,790 --> 00:50:25,190
<i>And I'm saying it like that</i>

926
00:50:25,270 --> 00:50:27,380
<i>because this is really
a special Christmas today,</i>

927
00:50:27,470 --> 00:50:32,340
<i>and I think this is going to be one
you will remember far into your future</i>

928
00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:33,750
<i>which I hope is very long.</i>

929
00:50:35,110 --> 00:50:40,740
<i>But this Christmas is uh, very special
to me because I want to dedicate it.</i>

930
00:50:41,230 --> 00:50:43,020
<i>I want to dedicate it
to a very special lady.</i>

931
00:50:43,110 --> 00:50:45,980
<i>Her name is Miss Suzie Quince,
wherever she is.</i>

932
00:50:46,630 --> 00:50:48,300
<i>There she is!</i>

933
00:50:48,390 --> 00:50:51,180
<i>Miss Quince,
would you mind stepping forward</i>

934
00:50:51,270 --> 00:50:52,460
<i>so we know who you are?</i>

935
00:50:53,470 --> 00:50:55,500
<i>Please, just a couple of steps forward.</i>

936
00:50:56,630 --> 00:50:58,380
<i>Here she is, ladies and gentlemen.</i>

937
00:50:58,870 --> 00:50:59,780
Hi.

938
00:50:59,870 --> 00:51:04,020
<i>On this special day
in this special season, Susan,</i>

939
00:51:04,710 --> 00:51:06,620
<i>I'm dedicating this one to you.</i>

940
00:51:07,630 --> 00:51:08,980
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

941
00:51:10,070 --> 00:51:11,340
<i>Johnny Mathis!</i>

942
00:51:16,070 --> 00:51:17,820
- Holy shit! Did you see that?
- Atta boy, Dukie!

943
00:51:17,910 --> 00:51:19,060
You did it again!

944
00:51:19,150 --> 00:51:21,820
It's good to see you, my friend.
Welcome, welcome.

945
00:51:22,190 --> 00:51:23,670
I'll be on the piano for you.

946
00:51:23,990 --> 00:51:24,900
This is gonna go well.

947
00:51:25,230 --> 00:51:28,340
Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right.

948
00:51:35,710 --> 00:51:39,670
<i>♪ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' ♪</i>

949
00:51:40,110 --> 00:51:43,620
<i>♪ In the lane snow is glistenin' ♪</i>

950
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:47,660
<i>♪ A beautiful sight we're happy tonight ♪</i>

951
00:51:48,270 --> 00:51:51,140
<i>♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... ♪</i>

952
00:51:51,230 --> 00:51:52,780
I'm walkin', baby.

953
00:51:53,270 --> 00:51:59,060
Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé
thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered?

954
00:51:59,150 --> 00:52:01,710
Well, she does, but you are hammered.

955
00:52:01,790 --> 00:52:02,660
Put a ring on it.

956
00:52:02,750 --> 00:52:03,660
Boys...

957
00:52:04,350 --> 00:52:06,910
boys, it's time to make our move.

958
00:52:07,310 --> 00:52:11,500
Ms. Marguerite. You and me?

959
00:52:11,590 --> 00:52:14,310
<i>♪ Then pretend that he is ♪
♪ Parson Brown ♪</i>

960
00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:16,940
Come on.

961
00:52:19,110 --> 00:52:20,740
<i>♪ But you can do the job ♪
♪ When you're in town ♪</i>

962
00:52:20,830 --> 00:52:22,020
I see you.

963
00:52:22,670 --> 00:52:29,380
<i>♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪
♪ As we dream by the fire ♪</i>

964
00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:34,100
<i>♪ To face unafraid ♪
♪ The plans that we made ♪</i>

965
00:52:34,630 --> 00:52:37,660
<i>♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪</i>

966
00:52:40,910 --> 00:52:44,900
<i>♪ Over the ground lies a mantle of white ♪</i>

967
00:52:45,590 --> 00:52:50,340
<i>♪ A heaven of diamonds ♪
♪ Shine down through the night ♪</i>

968
00:52:51,550 --> 00:52:53,460
Miss Quince, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?

969
00:52:53,550 --> 00:52:54,950
Yes, absolutely.

970
00:52:56,070 --> 00:52:59,060
<i>♪ When it snows ♪</i>

971
00:52:59,150 --> 00:53:00,180
Oh, you're good!

972
00:53:00,550 --> 00:53:01,770
Oh, I'm not that good,

973
00:53:01,870 --> 00:53:04,430
- I just try real hard.
- Yes you are, you're really good.

974
00:53:04,510 --> 00:53:07,780
I've gotta tell ya,
you're light on your feet.

975
00:53:07,870 --> 00:53:11,910
<i>♪ We'll frolic and play ♪
♪ The Eskimo way ♪</i>

976
00:53:12,870 --> 00:53:15,140
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.

977
00:53:15,230 --> 00:53:16,980
- My turn.
- Have some respect for the lady.

978
00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:19,940
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
- There's only one gentleman here.

979
00:53:20,190 --> 00:53:21,540
Stop the music!

980
00:53:22,750 --> 00:53:24,460
You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke.

981
00:53:25,710 --> 00:53:27,030
I'm callin' your hand.

982
00:53:27,110 --> 00:53:31,740
We're gonna play
18 holes of golf, right?

983
00:53:32,310 --> 00:53:33,820
Winner...

984
00:53:36,270 --> 00:53:38,460
- Christmas morning.
- Bring your A-game.

985
00:53:38,550 --> 00:53:42,100
A-game?
I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand!

986
00:53:44,350 --> 00:53:45,140
Oh, no.

987
00:53:51,470 --> 00:53:53,260
<i>♪ Dashing through the snow ♪</i>

988
00:53:53,350 --> 00:53:55,540
<i>♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪</i>

989
00:53:56,110 --> 00:53:58,140
<i>♪ O'er the fields we go ♪</i>

990
00:53:58,230 --> 00:54:01,020
<i>♪ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha ♪</i>

991
00:54:01,110 --> 00:54:03,140
<i>♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪</i>

992
00:54:06,390 --> 00:54:09,140
It's madness. It's all madness.

993
00:54:15,870 --> 00:54:17,740
Leo can play for real.

994
00:54:17,830 --> 00:54:19,100
It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss.

995
00:54:19,190 --> 00:54:21,910
Yeah, even if you're outta bounds,
I got the foot mashie going.

996
00:54:21,990 --> 00:54:25,300
And I got a hole in my pocket
and a half dozen extra balls.

997
00:54:26,470 --> 00:54:28,860
And I got a short game.

998
00:54:28,950 --> 00:54:30,350
We got you rigged to win!

999
00:54:30,430 --> 00:54:31,830
Ah, we got you covered.

1000
00:54:31,910 --> 00:54:33,100
I wouldn't even worry about it.

1001
00:54:33,190 --> 00:54:34,940
Cowboy and the playboy.

1002
00:54:35,070 --> 00:54:36,860
- I got my money on the playboy.
- All right, all right.

1003
00:54:37,270 --> 00:54:38,140
Ladies and gentlemen,

1004
00:54:38,230 --> 00:54:41,780
this morning's contest
will be 18 holes of match play golf

1005
00:54:42,310 --> 00:54:46,460
between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay,
according to official USGA rules.

1006
00:54:46,550 --> 00:54:48,900
Now, I just wanna say before we begin

1007
00:54:48,990 --> 00:54:51,550
that even though
there can only be one winner...

1008
00:54:51,670 --> 00:54:53,620
Oh, shut up!
I think I have the honors here.

1009
00:54:53,830 --> 00:54:54,660
- Yep.
- Oh,

1010
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:55,660
we're starting to kick it now!

1011
00:55:01,790 --> 00:55:03,140
Oh!

1012
00:55:03,230 --> 00:55:04,420
Son of a bitch!

1013
00:55:04,630 --> 00:55:06,420
Holy!

1014
00:55:07,630 --> 00:55:09,420
All right, baby!

1015
00:55:09,510 --> 00:55:11,180
All right, Duke. Have at it.

1016
00:55:11,910 --> 00:55:13,940
Show us what you got.
Come on, let it rip.

1017
00:55:14,030 --> 00:55:14,940
Quiet, please!

1018
00:55:15,270 --> 00:55:17,700
You don't gotta tell me
to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip.

1019
00:55:18,670 --> 00:55:22,100
Leo, pay attention. One hand.

1020
00:55:23,630 --> 00:55:24,980
- One hand.
- Waggling.

1021
00:55:25,070 --> 00:55:25,980
Yes.

1022
00:55:26,630 --> 00:55:28,340
Yes! Yes!

1023
00:55:29,230 --> 00:55:30,900
Let's go! Let's go!

1024
00:55:31,230 --> 00:55:33,870
Ow! That's how you do it!

1025
00:55:33,950 --> 00:55:35,740
Right down the fairway!

1026
00:55:40,470 --> 00:55:41,870
- Yes!
- Uh-huh.

1027
00:55:55,950 --> 00:55:58,140
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Feelin' it!

1028
00:56:03,430 --> 00:56:05,660
No, no problem.
I got this, I got this.

1029
00:56:12,710 --> 00:56:13,900
Yes, Duke!

1030
00:56:20,830 --> 00:56:21,740
Settle.

1031
00:56:26,030 --> 00:56:29,780
- Damn, smoother...
- Oh, good break!

1032
00:56:44,430 --> 00:56:45,620
That ball is out of bounds.

1033
00:56:45,710 --> 00:56:47,260
- Huh?
- Out of bounds.

1034
00:56:49,350 --> 00:56:51,020
Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree.

1035
00:56:54,310 --> 00:56:55,260
Oh!

1036
00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:56,900
Yeah, great shot,
great shot, chief!

1037
00:56:56,990 --> 00:56:58,100
All right, Duke, have at it!

1038
00:56:58,470 --> 00:57:00,300
- Oh, boy.
- You're lookin' real good.

1039
00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:03,780
Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy?

1040
00:57:03,870 --> 00:57:06,660
All right. This is bullshit.

1041
00:57:07,190 --> 00:57:09,380
- What you talkin' about?
- It's bullshit.

1042
00:57:10,230 --> 00:57:13,860
Are you accusing me of conduct
unbecoming a man of my reputation?

1043
00:57:13,950 --> 00:57:17,780
I am accusing you of conduct
consistent with a man of your reputation.

1044
00:57:17,870 --> 00:57:19,220
You been cheatin' all day long.

1045
00:57:21,070 --> 00:57:23,020
And if I'm keepin' the score correctly,

1046
00:57:23,110 --> 00:57:25,780
you will have to hole that ball
on that green to beat me.

1047
00:57:26,550 --> 00:57:27,460
Okay.

1048
00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:28,780
Okay.

1049
00:57:28,910 --> 00:57:30,020
You got this shot.

1050
00:57:30,950 --> 00:57:31,860
Watch this.

1051
00:57:34,150 --> 00:57:35,340
Tell you what, why don't we, uh,

1052
00:57:35,430 --> 00:57:37,380
run up here right quick
and read the green.

1053
00:57:38,430 --> 00:57:39,980
- Great thinking.
- Not so fast.

1054
00:57:40,750 --> 00:57:42,150
I don't trust you and I never will.

1055
00:57:42,470 --> 00:57:43,790
Ah, we plum-bobbing that!

1056
00:57:43,870 --> 00:57:45,620
I'm keepin' my eye on you, man,
just like a hawk.

1057
00:57:46,670 --> 00:57:47,580
God damn!

1058
00:57:48,150 --> 00:57:49,060
Oh shit! Oh shit!

1059
00:57:51,390 --> 00:57:52,340
- Everybody all right?
- Shit!

1060
00:57:52,430 --> 00:57:53,860
They found me! They found me!

1061
00:57:53,950 --> 00:57:55,350
- Everyone's okay.
- Are you okay?

1062
00:57:55,430 --> 00:57:57,540
Stay calm. Stay calm.

1063
00:57:57,630 --> 00:57:59,140
We'll have the EMS here in a minute.

1064
00:57:59,550 --> 00:58:00,460
Holy shit!

1065
00:58:00,950 --> 00:58:02,270
Probably just a gasoline leak.

1066
00:58:02,350 --> 00:58:03,750
It's an electric cart!

1067
00:58:03,830 --> 00:58:05,700
Where's my hat? Where's my hat?

1068
00:58:05,790 --> 00:58:06,660
Where you goin'?

1069
00:58:38,950 --> 00:58:40,020
You want a taste?

1070
00:58:40,470 --> 00:58:42,620
It's Leo, and I don't want a taste.
Open up.

1071
00:58:42,710 --> 00:58:43,620
Leo?

1072
00:58:50,350 --> 00:58:53,070
You forfeit. I win the golf match.

1073
00:58:53,150 --> 00:58:54,860
You can have the damn golf match.

1074
00:58:55,270 --> 00:58:56,380
Somebody wants me dead!

1075
00:58:56,470 --> 00:58:57,790
Who wants you dead? Who are you?

1076
00:58:58,190 --> 00:58:59,100
It... it's, a...

1077
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:01,820
So, I'm the trophy for a golf match.

1078
00:59:02,910 --> 00:59:05,100
I mean, it's not the first time
men have fought over me.

1079
00:59:05,190 --> 00:59:06,940
Which one of you children is winning?

1080
00:59:07,030 --> 00:59:09,780
No, no, no.
We... we... we're not fighting over you.

1081
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:11,550
That would be sexist and outrageous.

1082
00:59:11,630 --> 00:59:14,140
No, we're fighting
over the right to court you.

1083
00:59:14,230 --> 00:59:15,060
There's a difference?

1084
00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:17,300
These are fine distinctions that men make.

1085
00:59:17,390 --> 00:59:19,740
Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood.

1086
00:59:20,270 --> 00:59:22,700
We honor, praise and glorify you.

1087
00:59:22,790 --> 00:59:24,540
No criminal intent on Duke's part,

1088
00:59:24,630 --> 00:59:25,980
it's just Duke being Duke.

1089
00:59:26,350 --> 00:59:27,180
Thank you, Leo.

1090
00:59:27,270 --> 00:59:28,900
Do you men hear yourselves?

1091
00:59:29,030 --> 00:59:30,860
- No.
- Sh... should we?

1092
00:59:32,390 --> 00:59:34,660
Excuse me. I trust I've made my point.

1093
00:59:36,310 --> 00:59:39,300
Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom
a few minutes ago?

1094
00:59:39,630 --> 00:59:42,420
- Uh-uh.
- No, no.

1095
00:59:43,750 --> 00:59:44,660
You?

1096
00:59:45,190 --> 00:59:47,860
Corporate's up my ass
and you're both lying to me.

1097
00:59:49,350 --> 00:59:50,860
You better report this
to the county sheriff.

1098
00:59:50,950 --> 00:59:53,060
Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you.

1099
00:59:53,150 --> 00:59:54,630
Don't take this to the law.

1100
00:59:55,990 --> 00:59:59,340
Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going?

1101
01:00:01,350 --> 01:00:03,140
Leo, it's not safe for me
around here anymore.

1102
01:00:03,230 --> 01:00:05,820
- You've got to get me the hell outta here.
- Why would I do that for you?

1103
01:00:06,430 --> 01:00:08,340
Because you don't want bloody chunks of me

1104
01:00:08,430 --> 01:00:10,340
raining all over Villa Capri!

1105
01:00:10,430 --> 01:00:12,340
All right, I'll get you outta here
but on one condition.

1106
01:00:12,430 --> 01:00:14,660
You tell me everything. No more bullshit.

1107
01:00:14,750 --> 01:00:16,860
Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo?

1108
01:00:16,950 --> 01:00:19,020
Okay. Bloody chunks it is.

1109
01:00:19,110 --> 01:00:22,380
Uh, okay, okay. Okay.
No... no more bullshit.

1110
01:00:23,710 --> 01:00:25,190
You blew up a golf cart?

1111
01:00:25,870 --> 01:00:26,860
And he wasn't in it?

1112
01:00:31,070 --> 01:00:33,820
No, it is not your fault.

1113
01:00:33,910 --> 01:00:36,860
Your... your... your father
never let you murder anyone.

1114
01:00:37,710 --> 01:00:42,700
No, he... he always said
that you did the best digging.

1115
01:00:43,070 --> 01:00:44,340
But sweetheart,

1116
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:47,980
how many men did you bury
from snakebites and bombs?

1117
01:00:48,630 --> 01:00:49,780
Zero!

1118
01:00:50,150 --> 01:00:52,020
They all died from bullet holes!

1119
01:00:52,110 --> 01:00:56,180
So go get some bullets,
and do it like your father used to do it!

1120
01:01:01,990 --> 01:01:02,980
Who the hell are you?

1121
01:01:03,070 --> 01:01:05,260
My real name is William J. DuPrees.

1122
01:01:06,470 --> 01:01:09,740
I was known for many years as Sweet Willy.

1123
01:01:10,590 --> 01:01:13,780
I was chief counsel for the Bruno family.

1124
01:01:13,870 --> 01:01:14,780
Mob.

1125
01:01:15,110 --> 01:01:19,860
Until I learned that they weren't really
in the trucking business.

1126
01:01:19,950 --> 01:01:23,220
And then Feds came around
and offered me a choice.

1127
01:01:23,310 --> 01:01:25,500
- And?
- I rolled over like a trained show dog.

1128
01:01:25,990 --> 01:01:30,100
The problem was there was this crazy wife
and a crazier son, even,

1129
01:01:30,550 --> 01:01:32,620
who threatened to kill me at the trial.

1130
01:01:33,110 --> 01:01:36,260
And then when the brakes went out
on my car a week later,

1131
01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:38,580
around came the Feds again...

1132
01:01:38,670 --> 01:01:40,100
And you went into witness protection.

1133
01:01:40,190 --> 01:01:43,380
And turned it into an art form,
if I may say so myself.

1134
01:01:44,630 --> 01:01:45,620
Did you ever change your appearance?

1135
01:01:47,670 --> 01:01:48,620
And mess with this?

1136
01:01:49,510 --> 01:01:50,460
I don't think so.

1137
01:01:51,590 --> 01:01:52,460
The Feds will take care of you.

1138
01:01:52,790 --> 01:01:55,250
- Yeah! They'll relocate me.
- So what?

1139
01:01:55,910 --> 01:01:57,740
So, I don't want to be relocated!

1140
01:01:58,790 --> 01:02:00,540
I got it made at the Villa Capri.

1141
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:03,380
Everything a man could want is there!

1142
01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:06,110
It is my vision that made it
what it is today.

1143
01:02:06,670 --> 01:02:12,100
Sex, booze, golf... and then you die.

1144
01:02:12,350 --> 01:02:14,220
Heaven's gonna be
a disappointment to you, man.

1145
01:02:14,310 --> 01:02:17,740
Come on, Leo.
Help me save what I've built.

1146
01:02:21,670 --> 01:02:23,180
- Shit!
- Nobody messes with my truck!

1147
01:02:24,350 --> 01:02:25,260
Shot my truck!

1148
01:02:25,350 --> 01:02:27,910
Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me
and you're worried about a truck?

1149
01:02:27,990 --> 01:02:28,900
Hang on.

1150
01:02:42,710 --> 01:02:43,620
Shit! Shit!

1151
01:02:54,310 --> 01:02:55,340
Shit!

1152
01:03:02,190 --> 01:03:04,300
Let's just regroup
and... and... and make a plan.

1153
01:03:04,390 --> 01:03:06,020
I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off.

1154
01:03:19,110 --> 01:03:22,180
- This is a really bad idea, Leo.
- Watch this.

1155
01:03:26,910 --> 01:03:29,860
Nice work, Leo.
Glad I didn't blink.

1156
01:03:31,670 --> 01:03:33,300
Damn it.

1157
01:03:37,830 --> 01:03:42,140
This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4,

1158
01:03:42,230 --> 01:03:47,430
ruby red, extended cab,
custom bedliner truck!

1159
01:03:50,590 --> 01:03:53,780
I guess we're going to have to inform
Miss Quince of these developments.

1160
01:03:53,870 --> 01:03:56,430
Yeah. Her job's at stake.

1161
01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,580
You got a special feelin' for her,
don't you?

1162
01:04:09,030 --> 01:04:10,580
From the moment I first saw her,

1163
01:04:10,670 --> 01:04:12,500
there was something
about Miss Suzie Quince

1164
01:04:12,590 --> 01:04:15,150
that got the hair
on the back of my neck standing up.

1165
01:04:16,790 --> 01:04:17,740
Nothin' finer.

1166
01:04:18,350 --> 01:04:20,620
In the whole wide world than a good woman.

1167
01:04:21,270 --> 01:04:23,580
I dig the female species...

1168
01:04:23,670 --> 01:04:25,100
Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle.

1169
01:04:25,190 --> 01:04:27,980
Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit.

1170
01:04:28,350 --> 01:04:29,260
Firm as a biscuit?

1171
01:04:29,550 --> 01:04:32,270
Biscuit, fresh out of the oven.

1172
01:04:32,590 --> 01:04:36,700
Oh, yeah. Butter melting.

1173
01:04:37,630 --> 01:04:39,980
- You see my point.
- Ah, yes, indeed.

1174
01:04:40,630 --> 01:04:45,460
The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo.
That's what a good woman is to me.

1175
01:04:45,550 --> 01:04:52,020
<i>♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪</i>

1176
01:04:52,590 --> 01:04:59,140
<i>♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪
♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪</i>

1177
01:05:02,590 --> 01:05:03,500
Go on.

1178
01:05:04,630 --> 01:05:05,460
What goes next?

1179
01:05:08,110 --> 01:05:09,020
With.

1180
01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:11,310
What is it? With...

1181
01:05:12,110 --> 01:05:13,590
Romantic joy proclaim?

1182
01:05:14,430 --> 01:05:15,540
Proclaim.

1183
01:05:15,990 --> 01:05:19,140
<i>♪ Christ was born in Bethlehem ♪</i>

1184
01:05:19,710 --> 01:05:22,740
<i>♪ Hark! the herald angels sing ♪</i>

1185
01:05:22,990 --> 01:05:27,700
<i>♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪</i>

1186
01:05:29,590 --> 01:05:32,420
You had a rifle and a scope
and you missed him?

1187
01:05:34,070 --> 01:05:36,630
Oh, Oscar,
just stop trying to kill him.

1188
01:05:36,710 --> 01:05:38,190
Just bring him to me and I'll do it.

1189
01:05:46,310 --> 01:05:48,740
Why am I not surprised
you're in witness protection

1190
01:05:48,870 --> 01:05:50,090
and somebody's trying to kill you?

1191
01:05:50,590 --> 01:05:52,780
- Yep, that's him. Yeah.
- The animal guy, right there.

1192
01:05:53,230 --> 01:05:56,220
Sheep. Camels.
Did they have a snake? Probably.

1193
01:05:57,310 --> 01:05:59,340
I thought he looked vaguely familiar.

1194
01:06:00,230 --> 01:06:01,420
Now I recognize him.

1195
01:06:01,990 --> 01:06:05,100
That's Oscar Bruno,
one of the mob boss's sons.

1196
01:06:05,870 --> 01:06:07,940
He could have
just knocked on your door and shot you.

1197
01:06:08,030 --> 01:06:10,220
Surveillance cameras.
He didn't wanna be ID'd.

1198
01:06:10,350 --> 01:06:12,810
No. He figured he could just come
and go with the animals.

1199
01:06:15,270 --> 01:06:17,060
Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds.

1200
01:06:18,270 --> 01:06:19,860
Oh, God! No, please.

1201
01:06:20,310 --> 01:06:23,940
Tell the police, and suddenly
the Villa Capri is crawling with cops!

1202
01:06:24,070 --> 01:06:27,140
I mean, can't you just, like,
track him down?

1203
01:06:27,230 --> 01:06:28,300
He's a bad guy. Just...

1204
01:06:28,990 --> 01:06:31,660
you know, snuff him out
like way off the radar.

1205
01:06:31,750 --> 01:06:34,310
I don't snuff people out,
off or on the radar.

1206
01:06:34,630 --> 01:06:36,140
Oh, God. I know.

1207
01:06:37,830 --> 01:06:40,180
Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession.

1208
01:06:41,390 --> 01:06:44,740
The last couple times corporate sent me
to fix a problem,

1209
01:06:44,830 --> 01:06:47,780
something crazy happened.
Things got worse.

1210
01:06:48,910 --> 01:06:53,020
I'm starting to like this place,
but I'm on a short leash here.

1211
01:06:53,510 --> 01:06:55,820
If this gets public,
it could cost me my job.

1212
01:06:57,110 --> 01:06:59,670
Please... Leo...

1213
01:06:59,750 --> 01:07:01,580
And, he shot your damn truck.

1214
01:07:02,030 --> 01:07:04,220
- Hmm.
- He shot your truck?

1215
01:07:04,670 --> 01:07:08,140
You're both right.
We're goin' after this guy.

1216
01:07:08,710 --> 01:07:09,660
Yes!

1217
01:07:19,510 --> 01:07:20,830
What the hell is this about?

1218
01:07:20,910 --> 01:07:23,940
He knows my new truck,
but he doesn't know this shitty van.

1219
01:07:24,030 --> 01:07:26,260
Oh.

1220
01:07:26,790 --> 01:07:27,820
That's clever.

1221
01:07:28,470 --> 01:07:31,190
I think you and I could become
cherished friends, Leo.

1222
01:07:31,270 --> 01:07:32,180
Shut up.

1223
01:08:04,870 --> 01:08:06,270
Fit perfect in a golf bag.

1224
01:08:06,870 --> 01:08:07,780
Can I help you guys?

1225
01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,060
- Can they get out?
- Yep, every now and then.

1226
01:08:11,470 --> 01:08:12,660
You might wanna think
about a deeper trough.

1227
01:08:13,270 --> 01:08:15,380
Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'.

1228
01:08:15,910 --> 01:08:17,340
Duke, what brings you out here?

1229
01:08:17,630 --> 01:08:20,020
Were, uh, lookin' for a guy.

1230
01:08:21,430 --> 01:08:23,500
Oscar. Strange fella.

1231
01:08:23,830 --> 01:08:24,660
Where is he now?

1232
01:08:24,750 --> 01:08:25,900
He quit yesterday.

1233
01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:30,340
Said he had found what
he was lookin' for and walked out.

1234
01:08:30,430 --> 01:08:31,340
Leave an address?

1235
01:08:31,590 --> 01:08:33,340
He lived in a motel, I think.

1236
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:36,820
- Motel...
- You got any idea which motel?

1237
01:08:37,470 --> 01:08:40,300
- Made it sound like the French Quarter.
- French Quarter?

1238
01:08:40,390 --> 01:08:41,340
- Something like that.
- Got it.

1239
01:08:47,390 --> 01:08:49,100
Manager says he's still livin' here.

1240
01:08:49,830 --> 01:08:50,740
Unit 15.

1241
01:08:51,070 --> 01:08:53,740
So when he shows up, we jump him,

1242
01:08:54,030 --> 01:08:55,540
we hand him over to the Feds,

1243
01:08:55,630 --> 01:08:57,820
and he goes up the river forever, right?

1244
01:08:57,910 --> 01:09:00,100
- No, no. We don't jump him.
- What do you mean?

1245
01:09:00,350 --> 01:09:01,260
I do.

1246
01:09:03,390 --> 01:09:05,850
- So just relax.
- Yeah, okay...

1247
01:09:12,150 --> 01:09:14,100
Sixth grade was traumatic.

1248
01:09:14,990 --> 01:09:16,420
I ran for class president.

1249
01:09:17,950 --> 01:09:18,860
Lost.

1250
01:09:19,510 --> 01:09:23,740
I got one vote... my own.

1251
01:09:23,830 --> 01:09:27,540
In high school,
I tried bribing my classmates, but...

1252
01:09:28,190 --> 01:09:29,180
Crushed again.

1253
01:09:29,950 --> 01:09:30,900
Yeah.

1254
01:09:31,230 --> 01:09:33,260
Witness protection turned my life around.

1255
01:09:34,070 --> 01:09:36,580
You got a fresh start
on the back nine of life.

1256
01:09:37,230 --> 01:09:38,740
Reinvented myself.

1257
01:09:39,990 --> 01:09:41,940
Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me.

1258
01:09:42,830 --> 01:09:44,420
You like me a little, yes?

1259
01:09:44,510 --> 01:09:45,910
You need to be liked?

1260
01:09:46,670 --> 01:09:48,740
It may sound pathetic but,

1261
01:09:49,790 --> 01:09:51,220
I love to be adored.

1262
01:09:51,790 --> 01:09:52,700
You need therapy.

1263
01:09:53,790 --> 01:09:54,820
Never worked before.

1264
01:09:56,790 --> 01:09:58,540
Not until now with you.

1265
01:09:59,470 --> 01:10:01,260
Good. You're cured.

1266
01:10:03,470 --> 01:10:06,700
We should rotate naps
in case it turns into an all-nighter.

1267
01:10:07,270 --> 01:10:10,060
Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake
if you wanna take the first one.

1268
01:10:10,750 --> 01:10:12,260
I could nod off pretty quick.

1269
01:10:12,630 --> 01:10:13,540
Well...

1270
01:10:13,830 --> 01:10:17,220
Wake me in one hour
or if anybody shows up.

1271
01:10:25,870 --> 01:10:28,220
- Would you like a song to help you sleep?
- No.

1272
01:10:34,950 --> 01:10:39,620
<i>♪ Silent night ♪</i>

1273
01:10:40,790 --> 01:10:44,860
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

1274
01:10:45,430 --> 01:10:46,340
I like that one.

1275
01:10:47,510 --> 01:10:52,260
<i>♪ All is calm ♪</i>

1276
01:10:53,190 --> 01:10:57,260
<i>♪ All is bright ♪</i>

1277
01:12:17,030 --> 01:12:18,780
- Wake up, Sherlock.
- Hm?

1278
01:12:19,190 --> 01:12:20,510
You were supposed to wake me up.

1279
01:12:21,990 --> 01:12:22,900
Sorry.

1280
01:12:23,510 --> 01:12:25,420
That song always leaves me out.

1281
01:12:30,630 --> 01:12:31,540
Can I help you?

1282
01:12:31,870 --> 01:12:34,020
Yeah, the guy in room 15,
what do you know about him?

1283
01:12:34,470 --> 01:12:36,500
A very nice man. Very polite.

1284
01:12:36,590 --> 01:12:37,500
Bullshit.

1285
01:12:37,790 --> 01:12:40,380
There is one thing.
He... loves naked ladies.

1286
01:12:41,070 --> 01:12:43,100
I saw him at last week's
Sunday brunch at Rudy's.

1287
01:12:43,430 --> 01:12:44,910
They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar?

1288
01:12:45,790 --> 01:12:47,540
You gotta try the Belgian waffles there.

1289
01:12:51,350 --> 01:12:54,940
Okay. All right. Go do your business.
Go on, Romeo.

1290
01:12:55,150 --> 01:12:57,660
- That's a good boy! Good boy!
- Hey, Suzie?

1291
01:12:58,710 --> 01:12:59,540
Suzie?

1292
01:12:59,630 --> 01:13:01,500
- Yeah?
- It's corporate for you.

1293
01:13:01,590 --> 01:13:03,140
It's corporate?

1294
01:13:08,950 --> 01:13:09,940
Suzie Quince.

1295
01:13:11,310 --> 01:13:12,220
Yes!

1296
01:13:13,550 --> 01:13:14,980
No, no, no...

1297
01:13:15,270 --> 01:13:17,260
I... I'm getting a handle on things.

1298
01:13:17,350 --> 01:13:18,570
A firm grasp.

1299
01:13:22,550 --> 01:13:24,460
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

1300
01:13:24,950 --> 01:13:27,860
No. I... there are protocols.
I'm following the protocols.

1301
01:13:27,950 --> 01:13:30,300
I'm a... I'm a walking protocol.

1302
01:13:34,870 --> 01:13:38,220
But people just seem to be so happy here,

1303
01:13:38,310 --> 01:13:42,580
and happiness is not a condition.
It's a choice.

1304
01:13:47,750 --> 01:13:50,020
Things are not out of control
at the Villa Capri.

1305
01:13:50,110 --> 01:13:51,220
It is magnificent here.

1306
01:13:55,510 --> 01:13:57,180
No, no, no! Stop! Come back!

1307
01:13:57,550 --> 01:14:01,100
Terminate me? You can't terminate me!

1308
01:14:01,190 --> 01:14:03,060
Come back with the nativity!

1309
01:14:03,270 --> 01:14:04,700
No, wait! Stop, get back in there!

1310
01:14:04,790 --> 01:14:06,110
Larry, get the camel!

1311
01:14:07,550 --> 01:14:08,460
You know what?

1312
01:14:08,950 --> 01:14:10,060
Hello?

1313
01:14:13,190 --> 01:14:14,100
Romeo?

1314
01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:16,130
Oh, Romeo?

1315
01:14:17,190 --> 01:14:19,860
Oh, my God! Romeo. Romeo!

1316
01:14:19,950 --> 01:14:23,860
Oh, no, no, no, no!

1317
01:14:23,950 --> 01:14:25,660
- Hey!
- Oh! Oh!

1318
01:14:25,750 --> 01:14:26,900
I got you!

1319
01:14:32,630 --> 01:14:33,850
You know, this isn't
a very efficient plan.

1320
01:14:33,950 --> 01:14:34,860
You shut up!

1321
01:14:35,150 --> 01:14:37,940
You shut up! I'm having
a worse day than you are.

1322
01:14:38,590 --> 01:14:42,370
You know, if I were to ever kidnap
someone for ransom,

1323
01:14:42,630 --> 01:14:45,420
I would have it more worked out,
more organized.

1324
01:14:45,990 --> 01:14:47,420
I mean, there would be some nice kibble,

1325
01:14:47,510 --> 01:14:48,620
and perhaps a chew toy.

1326
01:14:48,710 --> 01:14:49,900
- I'm going to tell you why.
- Chew toy?

1327
01:14:49,990 --> 01:14:52,020
Oh God! It's amateur hour around here.

1328
01:14:52,110 --> 01:14:53,020
Well, I'm sorry.

1329
01:14:59,350 --> 01:15:01,500
All right, all right. Enough about me.

1330
01:15:01,990 --> 01:15:04,860
I'm sure even a tough guy like you

1331
01:15:04,950 --> 01:15:07,510
has some insecurities
you'd like to talk about.

1332
01:15:07,590 --> 01:15:08,500
No.

1333
01:15:09,350 --> 01:15:11,810
Come on. You'll feel better.

1334
01:15:11,910 --> 01:15:13,340
Shut up! I feel fine.

1335
01:15:17,550 --> 01:15:18,870
- They've got a nice gift shop.
- Hey!

1336
01:15:18,950 --> 01:15:19,780
Really sweet.

1337
01:15:19,870 --> 01:15:21,190
Hey, there's the big dog!

1338
01:15:21,270 --> 01:15:22,180
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?

1339
01:15:22,270 --> 01:15:23,460
- We're lookin' for somebody.
- Yeah?

1340
01:15:23,550 --> 01:15:26,860
- Recognize this guy?
- Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know,

1341
01:15:27,150 --> 01:15:29,020
a thousand other guys like that...

1342
01:15:32,670 --> 01:15:34,540
Your animal guy
is not very good at blowin' you up,

1343
01:15:34,630 --> 01:15:36,820
but he's gonna keep tryin'.
Maybe he'll get it right next time.

1344
01:15:37,310 --> 01:15:39,180
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Is that your car?

1345
01:15:39,270 --> 01:15:40,340
- Yeah.
- Give me the keys.

1346
01:15:40,430 --> 01:15:41,940
- My new wheels? No!
- I need your keys.

1347
01:15:42,030 --> 01:15:43,380
- Who do you think you are?
- Give me the keys!

1348
01:15:43,470 --> 01:15:44,620
Shit!

1349
01:15:55,350 --> 01:15:57,460
- This is thrilling.
- Thank you.

1350
01:15:58,430 --> 01:15:59,460
- There he is.
- Yep.

1351
01:16:01,430 --> 01:16:02,500
Goddamn, Leo!

1352
01:16:07,350 --> 01:16:09,910
Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo?

1353
01:16:12,110 --> 01:16:13,540
- You think that's funny?
- Nope.

1354
01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:22,660
Hang on.

1355
01:16:25,950 --> 01:16:27,270
Oh shit! Oh shit!

1356
01:16:32,590 --> 01:16:34,180
I have a confession to make.

1357
01:16:35,190 --> 01:16:38,700
Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip.

1358
01:16:39,110 --> 01:16:40,660
I came here to buy the Villa Capri.

1359
01:16:43,190 --> 01:16:44,620
I thought you only bought big stuff.

1360
01:16:44,710 --> 01:16:46,500
That property is worth 50 million dollars.

1361
01:16:47,110 --> 01:16:50,540
Fifty... and Suzie's worried
about petty cash?

1362
01:16:50,630 --> 01:16:52,340
She's just doin' her job... Hang on!

1363
01:16:52,430 --> 01:16:53,340
Oh shit!

1364
01:16:54,310 --> 01:16:56,020
First, I was gonna bulldoze
the Villa Capri

1365
01:16:56,110 --> 01:16:57,820
and put in a western Mall of America.

1366
01:16:57,910 --> 01:17:00,020
Oh my God! That's sacrilege.

1367
01:17:00,110 --> 01:17:02,830
Don't worry. I changed my mind.
I'm startin' to like that place.

1368
01:17:11,150 --> 01:17:14,540
So, I mean, if it's worth all that

1369
01:17:14,910 --> 01:17:16,420
and it's partly because of me,

1370
01:17:16,510 --> 01:17:18,100
I think I should get a piece of the pie.

1371
01:17:18,190 --> 01:17:19,100
How much do you want?

1372
01:17:19,430 --> 01:17:21,460
Uh, eh, ten percent?

1373
01:17:21,550 --> 01:17:23,660
Suppose I let you keep
your fancy golf cart?

1374
01:17:24,350 --> 01:17:25,620
Wait a minute... They blew that thing up.

1375
01:17:25,710 --> 01:17:27,460
And you're welcome to have a piece of it.

1376
01:17:30,870 --> 01:17:32,980
Looks like Oscar
is through playing around.

1377
01:17:40,470 --> 01:17:42,300
- Uh-oh!
- This looks like a dead end.

1378
01:17:42,390 --> 01:17:44,540
Yeah. Road don't go anywhere.

1379
01:17:44,630 --> 01:17:45,740
Maybe we can box him in.

1380
01:17:46,070 --> 01:17:46,980
Well, it might be a trap.

1381
01:17:47,350 --> 01:17:48,180
So what?

1382
01:17:48,270 --> 01:17:49,460
They're after your ass, not mine.

1383
01:18:10,990 --> 01:18:11,820
That's not Oscar.

1384
01:18:11,910 --> 01:18:13,780
Well, let's go see who the hell it is.

1385
01:18:19,870 --> 01:18:21,540
- You know what you're doin'?
- Generally.

1386
01:18:22,110 --> 01:18:23,510
Stop right there!

1387
01:18:24,350 --> 01:18:26,100
No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot.

1388
01:18:26,190 --> 01:18:27,100
Who are you?

1389
01:18:27,230 --> 01:18:30,060
Listen, some lunatic gave me $500
to torch your van

1390
01:18:30,710 --> 01:18:31,660
and to lead you down here.

1391
01:18:32,110 --> 01:18:33,020
Here?

1392
01:18:33,230 --> 01:18:34,140
Yeah.

1393
01:18:37,190 --> 01:18:38,410
Answer the phone.

1394
01:18:42,150 --> 01:18:43,060
Hello?

1395
01:18:45,830 --> 01:18:46,740
It's for you.

1396
01:18:51,790 --> 01:18:52,700
Leo McKay.

1397
01:18:53,070 --> 01:18:53,940
<i>Look up.</i>

1398
01:19:03,550 --> 01:19:04,540
<i>You're lookin' for me?</i>

1399
01:19:05,270 --> 01:19:06,180
What do you want?

1400
01:19:07,350 --> 01:19:08,260
<i>I got your girl.</i>

1401
01:19:08,870 --> 01:19:10,220
<i>I wanna trade her for Duke.</i>

1402
01:19:10,750 --> 01:19:12,020
- That'll work.
- What?

1403
01:19:12,990 --> 01:19:14,620
No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head.

1404
01:19:14,870 --> 01:19:15,940
Yeah, well, there is that.

1405
01:19:16,390 --> 01:19:17,540
What do you want us to do?

1406
01:19:17,870 --> 01:19:20,900
I want you to sit tight and I'll send you
coordinates of where we'll meet up.

1407
01:19:22,150 --> 01:19:23,060
Leo?

1408
01:19:24,950 --> 01:19:27,900
You're not really gonna trade me
for her, are you?

1409
01:19:27,990 --> 01:19:30,450
She's a lot prettier
and I'd really like to make the trade,

1410
01:19:30,550 --> 01:19:33,660
but my essential sense
of human dignity and decency

1411
01:19:33,750 --> 01:19:34,660
will not permit it.

1412
01:19:35,630 --> 01:19:37,180
However, we need him to think I will.

1413
01:19:37,510 --> 01:19:41,550
Aw, I sure am glad you're you.

1414
01:19:46,830 --> 01:19:50,710
- Hey, can I put my hands down now?
- Shut up.

1415
01:20:01,430 --> 01:20:02,220
Where?

1416
01:20:02,310 --> 01:20:04,500
Utah Trail toward 29 Palms.

1417
01:20:05,070 --> 01:20:06,700
<i>Turn off at the old water tower.</i>

1418
01:20:06,790 --> 01:20:07,700
You know where that is?

1419
01:20:07,790 --> 01:20:08,620
Not a clue.

1420
01:20:08,710 --> 01:20:10,260
How the hell are we supposed to find that?

1421
01:20:10,630 --> 01:20:11,540
Waze.

1422
01:20:12,870 --> 01:20:13,780
God!

1423
01:20:14,750 --> 01:20:15,660
What the hell is that?

1424
01:20:16,110 --> 01:20:17,540
It's an app. You can download it.

1425
01:20:18,110 --> 01:20:19,020
Really?

1426
01:20:21,950 --> 01:20:23,900
<i>Let's get started. Drive safe.</i>

1427
01:20:25,510 --> 01:20:27,060
I have another confession to make.

1428
01:20:27,830 --> 01:20:28,700
Let 'er rip.

1429
01:20:29,550 --> 01:20:31,380
I was married for 33 years...

1430
01:20:32,030 --> 01:20:34,260
to the first woman I ever fell for.

1431
01:20:34,990 --> 01:20:36,620
She died about six years ago,

1432
01:20:36,710 --> 01:20:38,030
and it put me off my game.

1433
01:20:38,110 --> 01:20:41,020
After three or four years,
I felt I should see other women,

1434
01:20:41,110 --> 01:20:42,380
but it didn't feel right.

1435
01:20:44,270 --> 01:20:45,700
You wanna tell Duke about it?

1436
01:20:45,790 --> 01:20:50,300
There's something about Miss Quince
that just shook me out of my malaise.

1437
01:20:50,390 --> 01:20:52,380
She's gorgeous, of course, but she's...

1438
01:20:52,710 --> 01:20:53,980
There's nothin' frivolous about her.

1439
01:20:54,070 --> 01:20:57,100
She's a woman of...
substance and gravitas.

1440
01:20:57,830 --> 01:20:58,740
Gravitas.

1441
01:21:01,030 --> 01:21:03,380
Put me down, you jackass!

1442
01:21:03,750 --> 01:21:06,020
Where's my dog? Romeo!

1443
01:21:06,430 --> 01:21:07,700
Where's my dog?

1444
01:21:08,230 --> 01:21:10,580
Now doesn't all this sharing
make you feel better, huh?

1445
01:21:10,990 --> 01:21:12,860
I could fall in love with her.

1446
01:21:18,150 --> 01:21:21,220
<i>In 0. 1 mile keep left.</i>

1447
01:21:40,430 --> 01:21:42,380
You know, you're always the hero.

1448
01:21:43,230 --> 01:21:46,180
I think I'd like to be heroic sometime.

1449
01:21:52,510 --> 01:21:54,100
How heroic do you wanna be?

1450
01:21:55,070 --> 01:21:55,980
Hm?

1451
01:21:56,710 --> 01:21:57,620
Um...

1452
01:21:58,790 --> 01:21:59,700
Well...

1453
01:21:59,830 --> 01:22:01,860
Uh, you know, just...

1454
01:22:02,830 --> 01:22:04,460
Moderately. Just enough.

1455
01:22:05,110 --> 01:22:06,860
You wanna keep
your braggin' rights to the women.

1456
01:22:08,470 --> 01:22:10,180
You know me well. Yeah, huh?

1457
01:22:14,030 --> 01:22:16,780
You think that's an honorable reason
to wanna be heroic?

1458
01:22:16,870 --> 01:22:17,780
I do.

1459
01:22:23,030 --> 01:22:23,900
I got a plan.

1460
01:22:24,270 --> 01:22:27,700
You know, you remind me of my mother.

1461
01:22:27,790 --> 01:22:32,620
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah. All right.

1462
01:22:34,270 --> 01:22:35,180
All right.

1463
01:22:50,950 --> 01:22:52,170
This is where it begins.

1464
01:23:05,230 --> 01:23:06,580
You all right in there, Suzie?

1465
01:23:07,030 --> 01:23:10,020
- Leo, I'm okay.
- I am not armed.

1466
01:23:10,510 --> 01:23:12,620
I am here to give you what you want.

1467
01:23:13,830 --> 01:23:15,050
And to take what I want.

1468
01:23:15,150 --> 01:23:16,470
Hey, stand right there!

1469
01:23:17,590 --> 01:23:18,700
What you got under that hat?

1470
01:23:19,390 --> 01:23:20,380
A little hair.

1471
01:23:20,470 --> 01:23:23,500
Ha! You send me Willy.

1472
01:23:28,230 --> 01:23:30,420
We can work this out
to everybody's satisfaction.

1473
01:23:30,790 --> 01:23:33,180
Why don't you put the gun down
and we'll talk.

1474
01:23:46,430 --> 01:23:47,500
Give me Duke!

1475
01:23:48,430 --> 01:23:52,060
Damn! You shot my truck
and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots!

1476
01:23:52,150 --> 01:23:56,660
You give me Duke or Willy
or whatever he calls himself. Now!

1477
01:23:56,790 --> 01:23:58,980
You can have him.
I never liked him anyway.

1478
01:24:08,630 --> 01:24:09,540
Oh.

1479
01:24:10,110 --> 01:24:11,020
Ha!

1480
01:24:16,590 --> 01:24:17,740
Oh! That hurts!

1481
01:24:18,190 --> 01:24:20,780
He shot me!

1482
01:24:24,670 --> 01:24:26,500
Bye-bye.

1483
01:24:30,510 --> 01:24:32,660
Christmases seem to blur together.

1484
01:24:33,030 --> 01:24:34,900
You know? This one stands out.

1485
01:24:35,150 --> 01:24:36,340
It's startin' to feel special.

1486
01:24:38,030 --> 01:24:39,660
We're gonna have to call
the sheriff now.

1487
01:24:39,790 --> 01:24:43,060
I don't know about you guys,
but I sure could use a cocktail.

1488
01:24:43,150 --> 01:24:43,980
Here, here.

1489
01:24:55,510 --> 01:24:58,780
I'm starting to understand
the affection you have for this place,

1490
01:24:59,150 --> 01:25:00,140
whoever you are.

1491
01:25:00,870 --> 01:25:03,220
To you, Sweet Willy.

1492
01:25:03,630 --> 01:25:05,980
You did a brave thing today.
I didn't think you had it in you.

1493
01:25:06,070 --> 01:25:08,710
- And you saved the day, cousin.
- I ain't your cousin.

1494
01:25:08,790 --> 01:25:10,620
Well, but you like me a little, huh?

1495
01:25:13,550 --> 01:25:15,380
A little.

1496
01:25:16,710 --> 01:25:17,660
There goes Rudolph.

1497
01:25:18,350 --> 01:25:22,540
And there goes Snoopy.

1498
01:25:22,630 --> 01:25:23,620
Adios, Snoopy.

1499
01:25:30,390 --> 01:25:33,220
Hey! It's New Year's in New York.
Happy New Year, everybody!

1500
01:25:33,310 --> 01:25:34,660
Earlier to bed?

1501
01:25:35,110 --> 01:25:38,220
Uh, with any luck,
maybe two balls will drop tonight.

1502
01:25:38,790 --> 01:25:40,820
Girl, you are delusional.

1503
01:25:40,910 --> 01:25:43,980
Hey, I've never seen you guys
lookin' so sharp.

1504
01:25:44,070 --> 01:25:47,980
- Or you so beautiful.
- To the ladies and ladies.

1505
01:25:50,590 --> 01:25:55,140
Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my
cronies and their lovely ladies.

1506
01:25:55,230 --> 01:25:57,420
- Of course I do. Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.

1507
01:25:57,510 --> 01:25:59,180
Happy New Year.

1508
01:25:59,270 --> 01:26:00,140
Happy New Year!

1509
01:26:00,230 --> 01:26:02,540
I think it's about midnight
in Times Square.

1510
01:26:02,630 --> 01:26:03,540
Oh, yeah!

1511
01:26:05,590 --> 01:26:07,660
Nine o'clock in California
is good enough for me.

1512
01:26:09,110 --> 01:26:11,900
At the end of the day, I have to admit,
I have a soft spot for Duke.

1513
01:26:11,990 --> 01:26:14,340
Wherever they're relocating him,
do you think he's going to be okay?

1514
01:26:14,430 --> 01:26:18,470
My dear, the Duke will always be okay.

1515
01:26:18,550 --> 01:26:19,380
Yeah.

1516
01:26:19,470 --> 01:26:20,580
Strike up the band, boys.

1517
01:26:21,990 --> 01:26:25,380
<i>♪ May old acquaintance be forgot ♪</i>

1518
01:26:25,630 --> 01:26:26,900
<i>Ladies and gentlemen of the</i>

1519
01:26:26,990 --> 01:26:29,220
<i>Tropical Resort Retirement Community,</i>

1520
01:26:29,630 --> 01:26:31,780
<i>say hello to your new resident manager,</i>

1521
01:26:32,550 --> 01:26:34,260
<i>Mr. Marvel Bigelow.</i>

1522
01:26:34,350 --> 01:26:35,420
Music!

1523
01:27:19,230 --> 01:27:23,500
<i>♪ Christmas ♪</i>

1524
01:27:24,710 --> 01:27:29,460
<i>♪ Is a very special time of the year ♪</i>

1525
01:27:31,270 --> 01:27:35,820
<i>♪ It's a precious time ♪
♪ And I'm waiting here ♪</i>

1526
01:27:36,830 --> 01:27:42,140
<i>♪ Can't wait to get close to you ♪</i>

1527
01:27:46,350 --> 01:27:50,100
<i>♪ Christmas ♪</i>

1528
01:27:51,270 --> 01:27:57,140
<i>♪ Is a house adorned ♪
♪ With tinsel and lights ♪</i>

1529
01:27:58,190 --> 01:28:02,780
<i>♪ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night ♪</i>

1530
01:28:03,750 --> 01:28:09,180
<i>♪ That let me get close to you ♪</i>

1531
01:28:12,590 --> 01:28:16,630
<i>♪ No one else, dear, will do ♪</i>

1532
01:28:17,110 --> 01:28:20,140
<i>♪ Darling you, only you ♪</i>

1533
01:28:20,230 --> 01:28:25,140
<i>♪ Make my holiday list ♪</i>

1534
01:28:26,270 --> 01:28:29,980
<i>♪ I can't wait till we've kissed ♪</i>

1535
01:28:30,070 --> 01:28:32,980
<i>♪ And then everything that follows ♪</i>

1536
01:28:33,070 --> 01:28:36,300
<i>♪ Makes my year every December ♪</i>

1537
01:28:36,390 --> 01:28:40,740
<i>♪ Don't forget to remember ♪</i>

1538
01:28:40,830 --> 01:28:44,460
<i>♪ That Christmas ♪</i>

1539
01:28:45,550 --> 01:28:50,570
<i>♪ Is two lovers strolling home ♪
♪ In the snow ♪</i>

1540
01:28:51,790 --> 01:28:56,300
<i>♪ And then warming up ♪
♪ The best way they know ♪</i>

1541
01:28:57,710 --> 01:29:04,700
<i>♪ Oh, let me get close to you ♪</i>

1542
01:29:06,830 --> 01:29:10,420
<i>♪ 'Cause you're all I want for Christmas ♪</i>

1543
01:29:12,310 --> 01:29:17,860
<i>♪ And Christmas is here ♪</i>