Thread 23: Stories 46-60

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>Twilight
'Chrysalis'
“???”
[Applejack]
{Celestia}
~Rarity~
(Luna)
=Spike=
+Dash+
•Fluttershy•
~~~~~

>So I'll tell you what I want what I really really want, so tell me what you.. Crissy! Just who I wanted to see! Looky looky! I got us matching hats! Aren't they the cute-GLK!

A terrifying power encircled her neck, and dragged her before the furious Queen.

>C-crissy! T-t-that's no way to treat-

A bolt of green energy connected them.
And dissipated within a moment.

'...You are faking.'

Instead of fear, as expected, the lavender Alicorn's eyes just went wild.

>O-OH YOU! YOU KNOW MY HAIR IS FAKE! I CAN'T DO A THIIIIING WITH IT AHAHAHAH! HOW ARE THE BOYS GOING TO LIKE ME IF I CAN'T HAVE PRETTY HAIR NOBODY WANTS TWILIGHT WHEN SHE HAS BAD HAIR!

Teeth grit so hard they nearly shattered.

'You... YOU BITCH! You did this to get my guard down again!? *AGAIN*!? OF FUCKING COURSE THIS WAS ALL YOUR TRAP!'

She was raised up higher, but the manic smile remained.

>We're gonna wear all the pretty dresses and put on the sexy socks and do all the fun stuff, and then we're gonna have fun doing nothing cause nothing is amazing!

'Y-y-yooooou... I'm not falling for this EVER AGA-'

A blast of pure light lanced beside her, cutting strips from her hair.

[Ya'll have exactly two seconds ta' put her down.]

Beside her, Celestia bowed her head, her horn charged for another blast.

{Or else.}

+Or else we'll beat you stupid, she means!+

•R-right!•

They were all there... of course they were all there. No way could he have gathered them so quickly. They had to have been waiting. They had to have been sitting just outside the door.

It was a trap.

Of course it was. His plan was to make her angry, set her off and then imprison her.

'...So, it really was always going to come to this.'

But they had acted too rashly, too soon. The fools.

Gently, she set Twilight on the ground.

'If you were hoping to get me on some sort of charge for attempted regicide, too bad. Not a hair on her coat is broken, and the only attack that has been fired is from dear, DEAR Celestia there.'

~Do you really expect us to believe you intended her no harm!?~

'Prove otherwise.'

Charity clicked her hammer back, and leveled itself in the Queen's face.

'...Well, if you're going to be like that, I'm taking my leave. Try to arrest me if you think you can prove anything.'

She stomped towards them. Sadly, they realized she was right. There was nothing concrete to charge her with beside, at best, verbal assault. Yeah, that'll stick. Angry, the Lunar mare glared at her as she cleared the crowd.

(This is not over.)

It was a bitter smile that crossed Chrysalis's face, but a smile all the same.

'Count on i-'

Everyone in the hallway suddenly stopped as a hot pink crystal erupted from the ground and cut the queen off mid-stride.

“ENOOOOOUGH!”

They had never once heard her scream that loudly before, or look that angry before, but it seemed the Princess of Love had a few surprises still left.

Notably, stomping up to Chrysalis and getting right in her face.

“ENOUGH! I have had enough of this! Do you not all see how this is going to end? Isn't it painfully obvious what's going to happen!? NO! No no no! I have had enough spirals into madness and backstabbing, thank you!”

Chrysalis only scoffed, and moved to brush past her. It was only a chilling call from the smaller alicorn that stopped her dead.

“If you take one more step, one single one more, don't you dare head towards that portal.”

As did everyone else in the hallway.

“Was I vague? Let me be more clear. Chrysalis, if you run away right this moment, you are not welcome in my Empire anymore.”

Everyone behind her shifted back, stunned. A retort was on her chitinous lips, but a hoof silenced it before it could be released.

“I know what you're about to say, save it. “Shiny will let me back”, “He'll understand”, and so on. And you're right. As reluctant as I am to admit it, Shiny does care about you. He does want to help you. He even, dare I say it, trusts you.”

For just a moment, the Queen wavered. To hear this come from Cadence...

“But you are NOT the one whom made his heart beat every day for years before. You are NOT the one he pledged to love until the end of time, and meant every word. You are NOT the one who he sees in his dreams when he closes his eyes. A few words is all it would take. “I do not feel safe with you in our home.” And Chrysalis... you are GONE. He would rather tear out chunks of his heart than have me live in fear. If you run away now, if you go into that ballroom to scheme against my sister in law or any she holds dear, I will not let you take one more step in the home I share with him.”

She was pushing against her now, pink coat on black chitin. And she was winning.

“And I know you're going to say it, so I'll save you the trouble. Yes. It would tear me apart when you demanded that 42 and 18 leave with you in a bitter, angry fit to strike back at me. It would hurt me deeply, they are my friends, and I care about them. But I know they care about me too, and they would understand why I would not risk you with me.”

A flinch. Subtle, but there.

“I understand you are hurt. I understand you feel she betrayed your trust. But you want to talk about trust, Chrysalis? Very well then..."

Her eyes narrowed in, and her face pressed closer against the stunned Queens.

"Let's talk about the trust one has to give to let a stranger into their home. Let's talk about the trust I put in you when I let you walk my halls, eat at my table and SLEEP IN MY BED. The trust I had to put in you every day that you would not hurt my 'rogue' of a daughter. Let's talk about the trust I had to place in my KIDNAPPER. Of all who could demand trust, you are fairly unappreciative of what I have been giving to you. I think it's time you returned that grace.”

If she had any retort, it died on her tongue the moment the pink mare continued. Her voice shifting to a much softer tone.

“I will not ask you to forgive or forget or anything of the sort. I want one simple thing from you, Chrysalis. I want you to walk over there, sit down, and let her say her piece.”

She tried to snap back, but was cut off once again.

“You DO NOT have to reply, argue, or answer a single question. Let her explain. That's all. I do not know her reasoning, I cannot tell you what she will say, but I have enough trust in her to know she is doing this for a reason. That said, I understand if what she says makes you want to leave, if you need time away to collect your thoughts or calm down from doing something rash. We're not gods, Chrysalis, we have feelings, but you need to let her share hers. You now have two choices. Either you can run down that hall right now, and begin the journey of doubt, destruction, distrust and pain that will follow as you wallow in your schemes of revenge against all you think wronged you, and never again do we meet as anything but foes. Or you can wait, hear her, and then, if you still want to... we can go home.”

The pressure against her was gone, and now Cadence stood. Staring, waiting for her to move. They all waited for her to move.

Their breaths froze as she moved away.

And left them when she turned around, angrily stomped up to Twilight, and sat down.

'Two minutes.'

The room went dead silent, and they waited.

>...Just pretend it didn't happen. Just... just go back, Chrysalis. Go back and forget it h-happened. We can have so much more fun now. You can trust me now. I'm not going to mess anything else up now.

'I DID TRUST YOU!'

The sudden outburst sent everyone reeling.

'I gave you my DNA, I translated your tablets, I gave you everything I knew about cordyceps, I even let you keep 29 in that damn tube. Little shit deserved it. But it was you-'

>ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

Further back, they slid.

>I helped you with everything, I worked on ways to help your species, I made love harnesses, researched ways to make more Queens, I even spent hours on a disease that DOESN'T AFFECT PONIES, and you still kept playing your little mind games! You rewired my subspace room! You hid every thing about you from me! You wouldn't let me make sure you were okay after the invasion!

'That's not-'

>YOU MIND CONTROLLED MY BROTHER!

Even Chrysalis stopped with that one.

>Do you know what that was like!? He was my BBBFF! He's always been there for me! He's been so strong, someone I could always count on to stand tall against anything, I looked up to him for MY ENTIRE LIFE! And then you come in and you... a-and you... TO MY BROTHER!

'He...'

>YOU NEVER SAID SORRY FOR IT, NOT ONCE! But I still... I still wanted to help you and... and you were right. You were right not to trust me. You were totally right. I was a monster this whole time, Chrysalis. So I'm done. I want to go back to being fun. I want to have parties and not worry about if I'm going to unleash something... worse. Nobody should trust me... nobody...

'...Damn straight.'

(WHAT!?)

=YOU LITTLE BI-=

'I SAID DAMN STRAIGHT! Those assholes SHOULDN'T have trusted you! The minute you started making ROBOT SOLDIERS, the instant you said you were following your brother, that little purple shit should have told you to stop being an idiot! But noooo! “Twilight's got it!” “She knows what she's doing!” “We trust her!” WELL I DON'T! But you know what? You shouldn't trust me either! Because you know what else? I stole from your lab.'

>Y-you what!? What did you take!?

'It looked like a little red block with some buttons on it and a dish on the top.'

>...My... my radio wave detector? Those things were useless! What did you use them for, paperweights!?

'No... I used them to protect the Empire.'

>...what...

Her eyes flickered red.

'My aunt Saturnia had a very peculiar ability. She could see in different wavelengths. Normally, it's useless, nothing EMITS these wavelengths. Except... machinery. Machinery when exposed to those things.'

>So...

'I lost count of how many I shot down. Hundreds? Maybe more. Long before the invasion. Better, I could warn Shiny to get his shield up before the full invasion started. Before, one got through, and it hurt Shiny. You saved... a lot of ponies.'

>...You did that...

'...Not alone...'

Abruptly, she stood up.

'You need someone to question you and bite at your hoof when you push the wrong button. You want to do this science shit, I know it. Fine. No more of this peppy bullshit. Go back to helping my hive. And if you're not... I'll stop you. You want to stop being a monster? Then stop trying to fucking turn my hair orange. I hate orange. Cousin Necrophorus had orange hair, and she was crazy. Buried herself alive. Don't be crazy like her. I don't want to end up like her hive, and if I have to beat you every other idea to do that I will! You don't have to trust me, you shouldn't, and I don't trust you... but I'll believe you can, if nothing else. If nothing else, you better believe I can stop you too.'

>I-I...

[She's right.]

As one, everyone turned to Applejack.

[We did just sorta' let ya' do whatever. Figured you were smarter than us. Figured ya' knew what y’all were doin', and we just needed ta' let ya' work and everything would come out okay. It didn't.]

Slowly, the orange mare moved next to Twilight, and suddenly embraced her.

[Ah'm sorry.]

One by one, they moved towards her.
{I am sorry for not watching over you better, my student.}
•Oh, Twilight, I'm so sorry I got caught up in my animals and wasn't there for you.•
+Being the captain of the Wonderbolts was my dream... but not if it meant we couldn't be there for each other. I'm sorry.+
(We are sorry we failed our duty, and foolishly missed your descent. Better than anyone, we should have known.)
~Darling, I can never say how sorry I am that I let out connection unravel so. Never again.~

Finally, a small, tear streaked purple face buried itself in her chest.

=I wasn't there for you... like you were always there for me. I'm sorry, Twilight.=

Tears poured from her eyes, and slowly, wings and hooves pulled them all closer.

>I... I'm ready to get this stuff off of my face now...

At last, they all smiled.

[Welcome back, sugar cube.]

A Queen did not cry... but she did shudder a bit when she felt something press up against her side.

It may have seemed a bit abrupt, and to anyone else it would have seemed cold, but Cadence knew there were no such malicious intent when she moved out of the hug, and started to walk down the hall.

“Chrysalis?”

It was barely above a whisper, but it made her stop all the same.

“Tell the cooks to make something special tonight when you get back home..."

Not a reply to be said. Off she went. Not even her disguise magic could hide what was obvious on her face. She would not join in, she would not yet have their friendship, but that was okay. For as the princess craned her neck back, she saw the gathered group... and she knew.

Anything was fixable.

Anything.
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Non-Canon Twi-Resolver

It had to end. She could not allow this to go on any longer. As Luna approached the unsuspecting mare the candles and torches of the archaic hallway began to snuff out one by one. Darkness itself seemed to follow in her wake and the non existent wind moving her flowing mane seemed to kick up.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" She called and the lavender Princess whirled around.

>O-oh! Heeey Maaaarefriend you scar-

"TO LONG HAS THIS CHARADE GONE WITHOUT INTERVENTION!" She shouted, her voice echoing throughout Canterlot, louder than ever before. Her eyes began to blaze with power, shining white, like distant stars in an all consuming abyss.

"THOU HAVE FALLEN FROM GRACE, WITH NO INTENTION OF REDEEMING THINESELF!" The stone tiles bellow began to crack and splinter. Shards began to float in the air around the Princess of the Night as her powers manifested into reality.

"THOU ARE UNWORTHY OF THIS REALM!" She cried as her horn began to glow.

"THOU ARE UNWORTHY OF THINE TITLE!" The newly bedazzled tiara on Twilight's head flew towards the wall, crumpling against it.

"THOU ARE UNWORTHY!"

>W-wha-

The sound of galloping hooves could be heard as the commotion had no doubt drawn the attention of all.

One of the side doors flew off its hinges as Celestia, Applejack, Rarity and Spike made their way in.

'"Sister, what are you-"'

"I, LUNARIA, PRINCESS OF THE MOON AND STARS, INVOKE THE ANCIENT RITES OF THE CELESTIAL COURT!"

As ribbons of violet light began to swirl around the her horn the entire hallway seemed to darken as if all the light was being pulled in.

"UNTIL THOU REDEEMS THINESELF IN THINE OWN EYES I BANISH THEE... TO THINE OWN MIND!"

The collected magic around Luna's horn washed over the disillusioned Twilight like a wave.

The lavender mare collapsed onto her side, her eyes empty and staring blankly ahead.

As her friends rushed to her side, Luna turned to stare at her sister.

'"What have you done?"'

"What was needed..."
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Non-canon
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Sombra'
~~~~

>...

"...S-shiny? You okay?"

>I... I have the sudden and all compelling urge to have passionate, amazing, show stopping sex with my wife.

'...A minefield is probably the wrong time for this.'

>I know... I know...

"...DAMN!"

'It seems I have been telling lies about you to 29.'

>...I'm afraid.

*CLICK!*

"You, uh, you should be."
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>2
"Cadence"
'Twilight'
~~~

>Ya' mean I can see auntie Twilight again!?

"Yes, sweetie! I'm sure she'll be so happy to see you!"

>YAAAAY!... Why couldn' I see her before anyway?

"...Uh..."

~~~~~

'CADDY! Lookit what IIII got!'

"Twilight, there is no possible way that thong will ever fit you."

'Not for me, silly! It's a filly thong! I got it for Two so she can get her sexy o-'

*CRACKCRACKCRACKCRACK!*

"IT KEEPS HAPPENING!"

~~~~~

"...Recovering from a massive amount of broken noses."

>...

"...Lot of doors in the castle, Two, gotta be careful around those doors."
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Nc continuation
~~~

"Ya' done?"

>ALMOST!

'...I cannot believe it.'

"Right? I can see why Cadence married him."

'...'

"...OH! You mean the... the go behind the rock and 'take care of it' thing."

'Indeed.'

"Well, what did you want him to do? It's still cheating even if I put on the Cadence wig!"

'...'

"I wouldn't ACTUALLY-"

{He's finished!}

>GAH! HOLY SHIT!

Shiny runs out from behind the rock where he had been... 'working'... nearly tripping all over himself as he rushed by.

A distinctly female dragon pokes her head out around the rock after him.

{Thanks for the show, pony! Hey, if you ever want the chance to say, "I fucked a dragon"...}

>...Married, thank you.

{Have no idea what that is, but it sounds restricting. Hit me up if you reconsider!}

>...
"..."
'...'
>...We can never speak of this again.
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Non-canon. Just vaguely remembered Chrysalis and her ‘ultimate spy’ so I figured Celestia might have one, using a character from looooong ago.

>Celestia
“Raven”
‘???’
~~~

"..."

>For some reason, you look less than thrilled, Raven.

"..."

>With everyone caught up in showering Twilight with hugs and tears, and with Chrysalis somewhat distracted by her newly softened heart, may as well....

“Please… Princess Celestia, please….”

>Come now, don’t you think it’s about time we gave him a call? It’s been almost a year after all. Surely you must miss him?

“'Miss' is a word with many variables, Princess. I would like to ‘miss’ him like someone misses their deceased family member, like a foal would ‘miss’ their dog that was trampled.”

>…huh.

“Yes.”

>You… want him to die?

“No, no, never! That would be cruel, Princess. I just want him to not be breathing. To lay down and not get back up again.”

>…

“…”

>Then I suggest you banish those thoughts for a few minutes because his service is once again required.

There was little Raven could do against such authority so she merely stood aside, watching as Celestia’s horn gave off its majestic golden hue.

And the effect was instantaneous.

Blocks of distortion punched their way into existence before Celestia, a multitude of cubes that shimmered and sparked, growing and hissing-

“Show off….”

-until a blinding flash filled the office. When it faded, a unicorn stallion was knelt before the princess, a unicorn wearing a black suede jacket and sunglasses that… oddly… didn’t have any arms.

There was silence, nothing but the hiss of steam rising off his figure.

>You may speak.

‘Then if I may, it’s been eleven months since last you called me, my liege. Times must be… trying.’

>Indeed they are, Jet Set.

The stallion didn’t stand. He only turned his head an inch to the left.

‘Not even a hello, Raven?’

“I’d prefer a goodbye, if it’s all the same.”

‘Aw, still so bitter. If I weren’t the excellent tracker I was, I might be somewhat hurt that you failed to send me those monthly progress reports. But I suppose not everyone is cut out for this line of work.’

“Because being away from the Princess’s side while we’re attacked by everything under the sun is clearly doing the better work. Right?”

‘Tell me, then… do you know where Chitania is?’

“We… we’re not actively searching for her at the moment.”

‘Which is just a shamefully roundabout way of saying ‘no’. Well, I do. I know where that towering behemoth of a Changeling is right now-’

“W-what?! Then why haven’t you reported back sooner to tell u-”

‘-and I also know that she could easily destroy me with a swish of her tail were she to sense even the slightest bit of malice. I’m sure your two-sentence reports meant to include that she was, or rather is, commonly known as the ‘Titan’ Changeling, the strongest Queen birthed thus far. Fear not, I figured that out on my own.’

“I’m so very glad you did.”

‘Your grinding teeth suggest otherwise.’

The two of them honestly bickered and fought like they really wanted to end the others life, but to Celestia, she knew better.

She knew deep down they loathed each other with a dangerously dark passion, and that was okay. Sibling rivalry had the all too common tendency to cause one to jump higher. Case in point, Jet Set, who jumped so high he wasn’t allowed in the castle unless called.

>Jet Set.

He quickly lifted a hoof to his sister, which promptly caused her lips to snap shut through means invisible.

‘My Queen.’

>…I am your princess. We’ve been over th-

‘Pardon my interruption but you are the ruler of Equestria. There is no tangible other above you, and I will not refer to you with the same title used on your manic protege, a seamstress, and an apple farmer, thus putting you on their level. You are not on their level. You never were and never will be. You are my Queen. You are THEIR Queen.’

>…

“…Well, I guess even monsters can have their bright moments.”

‘As can inept assistants have the common sense to know when to talk and when not to. Now, please continue, my Queen.’

There was a moments pause where Celestia glanced at Raven, patient to see if she would respond, but when she did not, choosing instead to grind her hoof into the poor floor, Celestia turned back to Jet Set.

>Chitania’s whereabouts?

‘Known.’

>And…?

‘Troublesome.’

>Ah.

“What? That’s it? Just “troublesome?” What’s that supposed to tell us?!”

‘It’s not suppose to tell YOU anything. Know your place, sister.’

“The irony of your command is not missed, brother….”

Something of a sparkle glinted off the edge of Jet Set’s sunglasses yet he remained as still as ever.

>Troublesome is a codeword we used to signify the intrusion of… outside forces.

‘My Queen, please reconsider your next words. Any information of this, regardless of how small… were it to fall into the wrong hooves….’

>Rest easy, Jet Set. Raven knows well not to speak of what we discuss. Don’t you, Raven?

The bow Raven sank into nearly had her muzzle to the carpet.

“Yes, Princess.”

>My mother, absent though she is, still has considerable pull over this world. And it seems her pull has extended to Chitania for whatever reason… a reason I’m sure Jet Set knows of.

‘I would not be the best if I did not, my Queen.’

“Definite ‘best’.”

‘Better than you. And the Titan Changeling appears to be caught in one of your mothers games, which is why I’ve yet to report her location-’

>Because it keeps switching…

‘Precisely. Suffice it to say, the Titan Queen will only be ‘found’ when the time is right.’

This news did not ruffle Celestia. In fact, she graced her helpers with a pleasant smile.

>Very well. Raven? Take the rest of the day off.

“Wh-what? B-but, Princess! I couldn’t possibly-”

‘You… you dare speak against the Queen?’

A strip of sunlight struck the lens of Jet Set’s glasses at just the right angle, allowing any a view past the tint, and what Raven saw staring back at her sent a shiver down her spine.

She sometimes forgot how much of a scary bastard her brother could be….

“Yes, ma’am.”

And she made for the door, stopping only once to bow to Celestia, then was gone.

‘…’

>…

‘…’

>She is doing fine, Jet Set.

‘…’

>And as for you, there is another job I’d like for you to undertake.

‘Merely give the word, my Queen. I am yours to command, to send wherever for whatever. Use me.’

>Every prin- Queen… worth her salt has an operative of your caliber at her side, always close by.

‘Of course.’

>Then I wouldn’t put it past my dear lodger Chrysalis to have one of her own. Do me a favor and find out, won’t you, dear?

‘At once.’

>You are not to engage in any way, merely observe and report.

‘Understood.’

>Oh, and Jet Set?

‘My Queen?’

That resplendent yellow glow flickered off Celestia’s horn, causing one of her desk drawers to jump open. From out of it flew a letter, right into Jet Set’s hoof.

‘…’

>Yes. It’s from her. Read it at your leisure.

When she nodded, Jet Set vanished in yet another elaborate fashion, namely by the way his body broke apart into a series of bright green computer code.

Celesta stared as that too became nothing.

>…Show off.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
“Sombra”
'Pinkie'

~~~~~

>WHY WAS THERE A PIT OF SCORPION GRAND MOTHERS!?

'Cause grandma's like to pinch?'

'ALL SCORPIONS LIKE TO PINCH!'

“How much farther is it Ms. Pie? I do not think Shining will last much longer.”

>IT HURTS! EVEN MY PAIN IS IN PAIN!

'Oh, it's just over this hill.'

As the three made it over the crest Shining Armor gasped in surprise. It was like nothing he had ever seen. Around thirty ponies could be seen tending Stones and Rocks of all sizes. The sound of singing could be faintly heard and occasionally the sound of laughter. Then he gasped in pain.

'Well we're here! Welcome to the Rock Garden.'

“Thank you so much Ms. Pie, I will be eternally grateful... Well actually I'm trying to end the eternally part but I am grateful none the less.”

'Aww don't mention it Somby... and you can call me Pinkie.'

“Thank you Pinkie... So who do I talk to about purchasing some stones?

'That would be my sister, Maud. She kind of taking over the business since my Daddy Pie is getting older.'

“Is she perhaps a dark coated mare with a long straight cut mane of the same color?

'That would be Maud! Unless we're talking about cousin Morticia, then no.'

“Well this is fortunate then! I've met her before and she is currently in possession of a very old friend of mine.”

'You know Boulder!? Your going to have to tell me all about it!

“Of course, we can discuss it over drinks!”

'Scotch on Boulder!'

“'Hahahahaha!'”

>STILL IN PAIN HERE!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Canon sort of, but not really. I heard this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zicXG2xehow
and felt inspired to write something for it.


>Snapple dragon gang
"Clown dragon gang"
'Various ponies'
~~~~

In the night time streets of the city, a taxi drives into an intersection when a pack of teenage dragons rush by him.

"Woohoo!"

"Yeehaa"

"HaaaHAHA!"

'What the?'

A flying stop sign smashes through the roof of the taxi.

'AHH!'

Another clown dragon swoops in and breaths fire on the taxi lighting it on fire. The driver barely escapes as it turns into an inferno.
The Snapple Dragons give chase. One catches up to a clown and punches him in the back of his head sending him crashing into the ground.
Some ponies inside a restaurant are having a meal when a Clown dragon slams through the window and flies out another.

>They're going down the alley! After them!

Some dragons fly down an alley, spilling garbage all over the streets when they come out the other side. Ponies crash their carts trying to avoid hitting the dragons.

A large dragon with clown make up, and his arms crossed, flies with 2 escorts, when suddenly 2 Snapple dragons drop kicks the escorts from above.
One turns around and attempts to chomp on the clown boss only to get headbutted, and trampled on to the ground.
>Ugh!

'Heh heh haa'

The red Snapple dragon leader lines up on the road and flies at the clown dragon at high speed.
Likewise, the clown dragon lines flying close to the ground and joins the game of chicken.

>Grrrrrr!

"Urrrrrr!"

There's a loud crunch as they pass each other and the clown boss tumbles on to the ground bleeding.

"Uhhhh uh!"

A group of night guards flies to the scene.

'There's a gang war between a group of dragons. Call for back up.'

>The guards are coming, Garble.

>Aw, I was having fun.

>Maybe this was a bad idea.

>And let the clowns walk all up on our turf? As if. Besides, the elder's dead. Who's gonna chew us out? C'mon lets fly!
With that, off the dragons flew.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NON CANON AS FUCK

>Chrysalis
"007"

~~~~~

>... Where you able to figure out the entire way to get into her vault?

"Yes, my Queen. I was able to subtly make him mess up a few times just to make sure."

>Very good... I want you to retrieve that file and copy it in its entirety. Once your done leave the original and bring me the copy.

"Leave the Original? Wouldn't you rather have it destroyed?"

>Too suspicious. After that little incident I have appearances to keep up. Caddy has finally shown her spine and while I am a little proud of her it's also a problem.

"I understand."

>Good, you can leave now.

When she turned to look he was already gone.

>You may have won this round Princess'... But I'm not the 2nd Queen Bitch of the Universe for nothing.

Suddenly a roar sounded from inside her stomach.

>Damn I forgot to talk to the chefs!

REPEAT, NON CANON AS FUCK

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ALSO ENTIRELY NON CANON

>Chrysalis
"007"

~~~~~

>... Where you able to figure out the entire way to get into her vault?

"Yes, my Queen. I was able to subtly make him mess up a few times just to make sure."

>Very good... You can leave the notes on how to get in, I might end up needing it later... Any news on Chitty?

"Negative, I'm still getting inconsistent clues all across the continent.

>... What game is she playing?... Nevermind, return to your assignment and keep me posted.

"Yes, my Queen." And with that he was gone.

>Always have an ace in the hole Chrssy, all the holes... Isn't that what you always said mom?

Suddenly a roar sounded from inside her stomach.

>Damn I forgot to talk to the chefs!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Spike"
'Chitania'
~~~
An unusual sight, Chrysalis and Spike sit together in a nightclub

>Sho I sez... I sez... 'Fuck you! Ah mean... no seriously... Lemme fuck you...'

"Cuuute... Uhh... Look, Chrysalis... Why did you drag me out, literally, for drinks?"

>Cuz Twily's all boooooooooring again, sheletia's got works, Shhhiny's doin'... shtuff... An' Cadence? Fuget 'bout Cadhensh, shhe's not a fun drunk... But you! You lizherdo... Yer not bad...

"Well... look. I gotta confess something... I can't actually get drunk. I'm immune to all forms of poisoning."

>... Ghet outta here, neckst yer gonna tell me ya got three wienies.

"Why does everyone think-"

>You aren' drhunk are ya?

"No... I just."

>Ah don' habeeb this! Ah can' trusht anyone's mentally impared an vulnerable shtates! Ah'm goin' home!

Chrysalis hastily stumbles out of the club with Spike in pursuit

"Are you sure it's a good idea to try to go home alone like that... or fly?"

>Ah'm fffffin-

And then Chrysalis got hit by the flying taxi

"Holy crap! ... Are you okay?

>Juuuuuusht peach-

and then another cab crashes on her

>Shtill good-

WHA-WHAM

And a third and fourth

BAM!

And a fifth

"Shit, let's get you out of there-"

Crash!

And a sixth

"Where the hell are these old carriages coming from?!"

Meanwhile, in a junkyard miles away

'C'mon... there's gotta be SOMETHING in here I can use to fix Mr. Popcorn!'

Chitania continues her search to fix her popcorn machine, carelessly chucking scrap metals and even whole carriages and machines hundreds of miles over the horizon behind her. not realizing Mr. Popcorn just needed a lightbulb replacement.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Guard"
~~~~

>Talk.

*WHAM!*

"I-I DON'T KNOW!"

>Talk.

*WHAM WHAM!*

"PLEASE!"

>Your brother in arms are merely unconscious, you however are prime taking to have your head smashed in, understand?

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!"

>I want to know where the excess books from the library are being stored.

"WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT!?"

>What a pity. Guess I can't leave you alive.

"W-W-WAIT!"

>No.

"I MIGHT KNOW!"

>Well then, start talking.

"I... there's a warehouse district in San Franciscolt. It's where the royals store a lot of excess material."

>Now we're talking.

"B-but it's heavily guarded, you'll never make it through!"

Very slowly, she turned her head around, and looked at the various bodies of the unconscious guards. An entire battalion.

"...Okay, maybe you have a better chance than expected."

>You think?

Green magic lanced into his mind, causing him to convulse for a second, then blink and look around in confusion.

"...Where's commander Ironeye? I'm supposed to start training today!... why am I wearing a Lieutenants badge? Those take years to-"

*WHAM!*

*THUMP!*

She sighed, already moving to plant weapons to make it look like they were ambushed. Changeling's got to do what a changelings got to do.

>..."Or else you die", right, mother?

She chuckled darkly.

>What a shame, you didn't know the half of it.

Wearily, her eyes traveled up to the sun, and she let her disguise fall away, allowing her to see the sun through one of her foreleg holes.

>...I'll have you someday.

A feral grin spread across her face.

>I'm coming for you.

She loaded up her popcorn maker, and off she went.

San Franciscolt... sounds like a nice place..
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>You aren' drhunk, ar'ya?
"I literally just told you I can't be. No matter how much you acting like this makes me wish I could."
>C'mon, mebbe yer jush' not tryyyin' hard 'nough! Heer, barkeep, g'mme yer finesht bottl'a rotgut!
"Chrysalis, no."
>Op'n wiiiiide!
"Ghkghglgbl!"
>C'mah yeh itty bittshy babby, drinksh!
"Pbbtbtbt! Dammit Chrysalis, I said no!"
>Ah dun' habeeb thish! Ah can' trusth noone'sh--
"Believe it!"
>I dun habeeb it!
"RrrrrRRRAGH! TWINKIE HOUSE!"

*HYPER COMBO FINISH*
*K.O. - Spike wins!*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

non-canon
~~~
Wake up

>I am awake.

Wake up wake up wake up wake up

>I am awake. I am brushing my mane. More and more is falling out.

>Red flakes in the brush. Do I have dandruff? Am I bleeding?

WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP

>So loud now...

>My head hurts. My back... My whole body aches... Pressure... Something growing inside... Am I having a baby?

WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPSICKWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPNEEDYOUWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP

>It hurts... My head... So loud... Stop it! Stop the noise!

WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP

"QUIET!"

There was silence. Then vertigo, and then the ground rushed to meet her. Then darkness.

I must wake up, 88... I are sick...
~~~
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Suckerpunch
"41"
'32'

>...

"..."

'...'

>"Okay seriously, what are you doing down here!?"

'Aha! I won the quiet game!'

>Shut up. You, what are you doing down here?

"I came down here to think!"

>No, *I* came down here to think!

'I came down here because of attempted regicide.'

"Shut up. I came down here to think about new ways we can finally break this deadlock!"

>Bullshit, that's what I wanted to do!

"Oh yeah, you think of anything?"

'Stratego maybe? Can I play too?'

>Shut up. No, because I was only down here two seconds before I ran into you in front this douchebag's cell!

"Well that's your fault, if you had gone that way you could have kept going, and I would have kept going, and we wouldn't have even gotten near this traitorous bastard!"

'...42, did you lose your hat?'

"IAMNOTLIKE42FUCKOFF!"

'Aha! You didn't tell me to shut up!'

>Shut UP!

'Damn.'

>Look, we can just turn around and ignore each other and go to the quiet, douchebag-free sections of the dungeons then come back and compare notes.

"Uh...

>What? Got some biting comment about THAT?

'No, she was actually just lost down here and was asking me for directions.'

>Will you just shut the hell up!? Nobody likes you!

"Actually...yeah, I kinda was..."

'At least I'm thought about, generic guard number 459! You could get eaten today and no one would give a damn! Believe me, I know from experience!'

"Hey, don't talk to him like that!"

'Oh now the wannabe to that bitch in the helmet is going to preach to me! Well get on up and testify, sista, the turncoat tabernacle choir is ready for its latest sermon!'

>SHUT UP! CELESTIA ALMIGHTY JUST SHUT UP!

32 and 41 look at the severely angry face of Suckerpunch, the former with his brow raised in amusement, the latter blinking in surprise.

>She isn't a wannabe to anybody, if she wants to have a fight hobby, that's her decision! It's not like someone said every one of you bug guys has to have their own thing!

"Do...do you mean that?"

>Do I look like someone who fights wannabes?

"Uh..."

>Okay, yeah, so we're not exactly A-Team material, but what we do is our business and this shithead's got no ground to stand on saying either one of us is doing anything wrong for just being us!

"You don't think I'm like 42?"

>Of course not, you'll always be number 1 to me!

"R-really?!"

Suckerpunch grins as 32 pantomimes retching.

>Mostly because of what runs down your leg whenever I challenge you to a fight, but still-

The moment snaps back into reality, 41 bristles and glares at the still grinning guard.

"OH FUCK YOU!"

>Not even after fifteen shots Applelachian Moonshine, bugsy!

"C'MERE! I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"

41 growls and pounces at the guard, who dodges and flees down the dungeon, with his rival in hot pursuit.

'...caaaaaan you feel the looooove toniiiiight~!'

>"SHUT UP!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________