Believing Hearts (ch4)

EARLY RELEASE FOR HIGHER-PLEDGING PATRONS!

After the painful reunion, they deserve a bit of time to settle down, don't you think?

Disclaimer: I do not own Little Witch Academia.

-------------

														Chapter 4. In The Dark

It's surreal.

Like living a dream.

They both whittle away the nighttime hours together there in Diana's office, until the tears have finally stopped. It takes them a long time, but eventually they are able to pull themselves apart from one another, just long enough to stand.

Akko helps Diana to her feet, holding tightly to her hands and wrists, supporting her for all she's worth and then some.

In the private secrecy of the late hour, Diana guides them back to her room.

No – their room.

It's always been their room.

She closes and locks the door behind them once they've entered and coaxes Akko inside.

Akko takes it all in. It's her own room, and yet she hasn't been in it for three years.

But it's all very familiar; the bookshelves, the arrangement of the furniture, the angle of the moonlight seeping in through the windows...

Diana has never touched any of Akko's clothes except to organize them. They're all still here.

However, they are cold and haven't been washed for quite some time, which has Diana insisting Akko wear one of her outfits tonight. Diana pulls out her own nightgown, then offers Akko another.

It's the first time they've changed clothes beside one another in three years, the first times they've seen one another in sleepwear.

Everything is something they already know, but have been without all this time since they'd been separated.

Akko can't change quickly enough. It feels wrong for her not to be holding Diana or touching her in some way now that she's back. She drops her folded robes and hat in a pile on the floor and pulls Diana in from behind, burying her face into the nape of her neck. She wraps her arms around her wife's stomach and squeezes gently.

Diana frees her hair from its ponytail, lays her arms over Akko's, then guides each of her hands up to her lips. She kisses Akko's ring, and then her own.

The moon is high in the sky by the time they finally reach their bed.

Both of them hesitate when they get there. Akko keeps ahold of Diana's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Wow... it's been so long since I've... slept in my own bed..." She turns to her wife, her voice once again thick with concern. "You must've been so lonely. You'd always get cold really easily at night. A-And I wasn't here to keep you warm, o-or help you through your nightmares. And you always looked so tired-"

"Hush..." Diana silences her again with another chaste kiss. "All of that... ends tonight."

Akko sniffles again, finding more tears already dripping down. She rubs her free hand over her face.

"Right... you're right..."

But Akko's still having trouble accepting this. Somehow, it doesn't feel right that she should be cuddling up comfortably in this bed tonight when Diana's spent so many sleepless nights alone here, suffering in cold silence.

Diana can sense her timidity. Therefore, she sits herself down on the edge of the bed first, then invites Akko to do the same.

Akko sits close beside her, their thighs brushing, keeping a firm hold on her hand.

But it still isn't enough contact for Akko. They've both been deprived of it for so long.

So she releases Diana's hand only to drape her arm over the small of her back instead, pulling her wife in as close as she can. Diana's hands are in her lap, and Akko covers them with her own. Her skin is a little cold, but Akko starts warming her up gradually.

Both of them harbor the mutual, silent knowledge that they likely will not sleep tonight. Not in all of this anxious excitement. The eustress is palpable and they are both far too jittery for sleep.

So they do the only other thing they know how to.

They talk.

All throughout the night, they tell each other of their private struggles over these past three years, opening their hearts and laying all their emotions bare for the other to comprehend.

Akko apologizes more than anything.

For leaving Diana in the first place. For not coming back to her sooner. For allowing her to suffer alone so severely she'd nearly lost her magic and the last of her willpower.

But each time she apologizes and sobs, Diana quiets her with another kiss, each more tender and loving than the one before.

She shares her story in turn, confessing all of her grief and her sorrow to Akko.

Akko listens to it all with a heavy heart.

At least she had known all along that Diana was alive. She'd even stuck close to her here at Luna Nova.

But Diana had never known of Akko's whereabouts or her condition.

"Many times... I had thought you might... no longer be of this world..."

It breaks Akko's heart to hear her say it, even though she's known all along Diana must have considered it. When she tapers off, Akko hugs her again.

"I'm sorry..."

It takes some time for Diana to be able to go on.

She tells Akko of her efforts to be a strong-willed headmistress on her own. Of course, she'd had her colleagues and old professors to help her. But without Akko, she'd never once felt complete.

Akko is sure to chime in to assure Diana of how wonderfully she's been running Luna Nova.

"It's ten times better than when we went here!" she declares. "All of the students and staff love it, and they all love you, Diana! You're such a kind and caring headmistress, and you have such a calm, professional presence around campus that puts everyone at ease! You're involved with the students and their activities and they only ever say good things about you! Trust me! I've heard them!"

Diana actually blushes a little bit at that.

"I... I am glad to hear that," she murmurs. "I had always feared I might be inadequate-"

"Inadequate? You?" Akko scoffs. "That's like saying Chariot can't fly a broom!"

"Chariot...?" Diana finds it just a little peculiar that Akko would bring up their childhood idol and beloved professor now of all times. She has an inkling there's something more to that. And she's proven correct a moment later when Akko looks down into her lap.

"Yeah... actually... Chariot knew who I was from the start... My disguise wasn't as good as I'd thought it was. She helped me. But she promised she wouldn't tell you about me until I was ready... Not unless it was... a life-threatening situation..."

Akko squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head quickly to clear it. "I wish she'd... knocked some sense into me sooner. But she let me wait this long... No, it's not her I should be blaming-"

"There is no one to blame, Akko." Diana's fingers lightly trace along her side, rubbing up and down from her shoulder to her hip. "I am well-aware that you did not stay hidden for three years because you wanted to. I know it was the most difficult thing you have ever done. I know that."

Akko finds herself crying all over again.

"Y-Yeah..." she whimpers. "Y-Yeah, i-it was... it was so hard... I-I was so scared, I just couldn't... Every time I tried to, I-I just-"

"Shh..."

Diana wraps her arms around Akko's shoulders, pulling her wife's head to her collar. She cradles Akko there, stroking through her hair. Akko hugs her around the waist and hiccups into her nightgown. Diana keeps her close.

"I understand, Akko. Ever since the attacks... your mind has been plagued. I know you have been suffering just as deeply as I have, if not more..."

She exhales, and Akko hears it tremble. Diana's heart is thumping quickly beneath her ear as she tries to keep her heightened emotions in check.

"And that is why..." Diana leans herself back, tilting Akko's chin upward to meet her gaze. "That is why... I am so proud of you, Akko. For overcoming those fears... and telling me the truth. It proves you are stronger than your fears, your doubts. I am so proud of you..."

It is her turn to bury her face in Akko's neck, sobbing gently, but earnestly. Akko covers Diana in her embrace.

"I... I'd heard from Hannah and Barbara... that you were sick... worse than when I'd left you. Worse than ever... And I was... s-so scared I might lose you... without ever even seeing you again as myself... Without letting you see me again... I was so scared for you, Diana... more than anything..."

Diana waits a moment, until Akko has quieted herself a little bit, just enough to listen.

"And that fear," she murmurs. "Is tied into something much greater, Akko. Something much more powerful. Something much more wonderful. You fear for me with all your heart only because that is how deeply you love me."

Akko nods vigorously, nearly giving herself a headache in the process.

"M-Mmhmm! It's c-cuz I l-love you, Diana, I-I love you so much! And I- even if I just tell you I love you for the rest of my life, I-I'll still never be able to say it enough. I-I love you so much, Diana. I-"

"I know."

Diana hushes her once more with a kiss.

It is in this way, without words, that Diana expresses all Akko says with them.

While Akko makes earnest, blubbering, messy efforts to speak through the sobs and past the tears, Diana conveys it all much more quietly.

She's always loved that heartfelt nature of Akko's. But she feels right now, this way is a little less stressful for the two of them.

Akko willingly melts into the kiss, deepening it just a little. Her hiccups keep popping up though, and whenever they do, Diana is sure to ease back for a second to let her catch her breath.

Akko loses track of how many times she kisses her.

Sometimes, they are small, light, and brief.

Sometimes they last a little longer, are a little fuller, a little more fervent.

And sometimes it's a mixture of the two.

They kiss until the moon has shifted well across the sky.

Akko then sheepishly inquires about her application as a professor, wondering how Diana viewed her performance. Diana muses about the energy and eccentricity of Professor Ophiuchus.

"I have to admit she reminded me of you at times," she confesses. "But as much as I fancied her, I am glad that she is gone."

Akko smiles and wipes her eyes again.

Their conversations turn somewhat more delicate after that. Akko wonders why Diana had never eaten in front of others. Diana heaves a small sigh.

"I would often be ill," she whispers. "Mealtimes were some of the happiest, most carefree memories I had shared with you. So to experience them without you always proved to make my body shut down. I could not allow others to see me that way..."

Akko can't speak in response. She simply hugs Diana close again, and doesn't let go for a long time.

That confession pains Akko much more than it pains Diana.

The white-haired witch waits until her wife has calmed down again. She knows there are many more serious and upsetting matters they might discuss about their time apart.

However, this is more than enough for tonight. She needs them both to allow themselves to enjoy their reunion.

Therefore, Diana lightens the inquires, and wonders why Akko chose to teach Mystic Biology. She expresses her admiration for Akko's improved and extensive knowledge of magic.

Bit by bit, their smiles return, and last longer on their faces than the tears do.

They talk, hug, and kiss.

Until the night has brought them to its quietest hour.

It is the hour when the air is stillest, when it is easiest to breathe, and when true and utter silence can be heard.

By this time, Akko can barely keep her eyes open, and Diana's weight is all but limp at her side. Their conversations have stopped, and for a time, they simply sit in that silence, relishing it, feeling each other breathe.

Then, some mutual feeling compels them both to look up.

They come to a silent agreement.

That this is more than enough for tonight.

That they have the rest of their lives to address everything else that requires addressing.

But for now, they must address their complete exhaustion.

Diana draws her legs up onto the bed, pulls down the blankets, and lays herself down. Akko slowly crawls in beside her and takes her proper place.

The mattress and pillowcase are cold, and it sends a chill through her as she settles her weight.

But it's not a second later when Akko's turning onto her side to pull her precious wife into her arms once again.

She tugs the blankets up and over Diana, whose back is shaking from a combination of chills and sobs. Akko warms her up for all the times she's let her suffer through it alone, trying to amend for those nights now. She rubs her palms up and down Diana's back and over her shoulders.

In turn, Diana clings to her waist and back, muffling her hiccups into Akko's chest.

Akko holds her for all the times she'd failed to.

She hugs her.

She kisses her.

She keeps her warm.

She'll never fail to do any of those things ever again.

A few more tears slip from her eyes and into Diana's hair, and she can feel Diana's tears seeping into her clothes as well.

Akko simply holds her.

How long she'd waited to do this again.

How many nights she'd dreamed of this, fooled herself into imagining Diana was in her arms when it was nothing more than ruffled sheets in reality.

How many nights she'd cried alone, knowing Diana never had that liberty.

Akko presses her palms over Diana's back, lightly tracing the area marked by her scar. Even after all this time apart from her, she still knows it perfectly.

She can feel Diana's hands doing the same on her own back, though her wife's hands move weakly as a result of her severe fatigue.

So much has happened this evening.

Everything they've ever wanted has happened this evening.

But Diana's been through so much pain, too.

Akko knows she is in dire need of sleep. She rests her chin atop her wife's head and whispers to her.

"Rest, Diana..." she murmurs. "I promise I'll still be here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere anymore. I promise."

Akko pulls away just a little and moves herself down until she is face-level with Diana. She kisses from her forehead to the bridge of her nose, and then lightly over both of her eyelids before traveling down to her lips.

But Diana opens her eyes once more, still stubborn as ever.

"Not yet," she whispers. "Not until I am... absolutely certain there is no way for you to leave me."

Diana pushes herself up a little, until she is the one resting her chin on Akko's head. She wraps Akko in a tight embrace and pulls her close, cradling her there.

She's spent far too many nights being unable to hold her like this. Diana won't waste another opportunity from this moment forward.

This is a silent vow she makes to herself.

She keeps Akko in her arms and refuses to let go.

And Akko finds herself in her favorite place. In a soft, warm bed, safely and happily pressed against her wife, who is even softer and warmer.

Akko sidles into her favorite position, one she's been desperate to return to. She lays her ear over Diana's collar and listens.

Just listens.

Her special heartbeat fills Akko's mind, leaving no room for any other less favorable things. The gentle pulses provide relief for Akko's troubled thoughts, relief she can and will only ever find when she's in Diana's loving embrace.

She listens to her favorite lullaby, one that sings to its own unique rhythm.

She only has one last thing to say tonight.

"Goodnight, Diana. I love you..."

And Diana is just barely conscious enough to repeat it back to her.

"I love you... Akko... goodnight..."

The last of their tears have been shed for tonight. The last of their fears have been banished.

Akko places one more small kiss over the scar on Diana's chest, and feels the exact moment when she finally falls asleep. Her pulse softens just a little, and her breathing deepens.

For the first time in three years, Diana finally falls asleep warmly and peacefully.

/I'll make sure it's like this from now on, too.../

Akko keeps her eyes open to help keep herself awake for a while longer.

She just needs to savor it all. To relish the sound of Diana's pulse, the feeling of her chest rising and falling against hers.

Akko hugs herself closer, repeating her silent vow.

/I won't leave you again. Not ever./

From now on, she'll be there when Diana wakes up every morning, and when she falls asleep each night.

She'll be there when Diana cries, when she can't bring herself to eat, when she's sick and in pain.

And she'll be there when Diana smiles, when she finally remembers how to laugh again, when she's in high spirits and good health.

Akko will be here through it all from now on. For the rest of their lives.

She's going to keep that vow she made on their wedding day, to always be by Diana's side.

Only from now on, Diana will know it's her for sure.

Finally, Akko closes her eyes, and allows sleep to take her. She'll be with Diana there, too.

Their rings continue to glow all through the night, shining faintly, but consistently, resonating now that they are together once more.

At long last, Akko and Diana have reunited.

There is so much they have to do together from now on, so much they still have to say.

But for now, they rest as they had always been meant to rest, or do anything else – together, with their hearts beating as one.

-----------

A/N: Can you imagine? Being apart from the person you love the most for three years and then finally being reunited by surprise? How that first night alone together again must feel? I doubt I could do such a profound scene justice, but I tried.

Just a little epilogue to go!