SpearAnon - Canterlot Doomed (unfinished)

>Be Corporal Anon Y. Mous
>And you just kicked the Spider Mastermind's unholy ass all over hell.
>Your comrades before you had died in various places throughout the Phobos and Deimos bases, as well as Hell itself.
>You even saw a couple of your old buddies' corpses on the field you battled with the demon on.
>Guess they really stood in awe of the spider demon.
>But to be fair, that wasn't really a fight.
>In fact, you were in Hell, fighting for your life, and God only knows how many lightyears away from home.
>You hated that this was all happening to you!
>Unluckily for the forces of Hell, you were one tough as nails son of a bitch.
>The minute the Spider Mastermind got a lock on you, it got a face full of middle finger in the form of a hot, green ball of plasma.
>You loved all your guns equally, but some were loved more equally than others.
>And in one shot, it was over. You won. You single handedly told Hell to go fuck itself, and sent it packing with a couple of rounds to boot.
>Your internal victory monologue is cut short by a loud warp noise.
>Looks to you like the way home.
>Maybe Hell decided to play fair this time.
>Exchanging for your trusty shotgun, you make your way to the portal, wary of any foul play.
>Focusing yourself, you run into the portal, and feel yourself yanked in a non-existing direction!

>After what seemed like an eternity in the warp, you were spat out onto a wooden floor.
>You land hard, but ultimately manage to hold onto your shotgun in the event that some asshole demon tries to get dinner to go.
>When you open your eyes, you're on a hard gymnasium wooden flo-wait.
>Gymnasium?
>Wooden floor?
>What the actual fuck?
>You hadn't been on one of these things since your old high school days at Canterlot High!
>You look up, seeing stage lights, and deduce you're a fucking retard.
>You're on the stage in the gym, facing the curtain.
>Willing your body to get up like you had all those times in exit elevators, you rise to your feet relatively quickly.
>And turn around to be greeted by a bunch of kids with weird body colors and even weirder hairstyles staring at you, looking absolutely gobsmacked.
>You'd be dumbstruck too if a 12 on the 1 to 10 scale of badassitude got unceremoniously dropped onto the stage.
>"Yeah thanks, I work out."
>Not the fucking time, Brain.
>"But we're the Night Train!"
>GODDAMN IT NOT NOW
>"Whatever nigga."
>Wha...whatever.
>You hear a sudden voice from your right.
>"What on Earth...?"
>Shit. SHIT.
>Why is that voice familiar?

>Luna nervously calls out to you.
>"Excuse me, sir...we've never met you before in our lives."
>She begins getting her nerves in order, settling into that condescending tone you were so used to.
>"What we would like to know is why you are in this establishment, and armed as well."
>Celestia speaks up too.
>"Yes. I don't understand how you are here right now, but you better explain what you mean."
>Your eyes widen as you see what looks like a teacher making a phone call to the police, and she just started up the call too.
>Thinking quickly, you unholster your sidearm and with refined accuracy (read as autoaim), you shoot the school phone out of the teacher's hand.
>The whole auditorium bursts into a full blown panic, with the teacher, students, and your aunts shrieking in absolute terror.
>A couple rounds and a call of, "EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTHS RIGHT NOW!" got the room completely silent.
"NOW SIT THE FUCK DOWN, EXCEPT FOR YOU TWO!"
>Everyone except your aunts promptly sits down, with some yellow skinned girl with pink hair bursting out in tears while her friends console her.
>Fucking coward. This wasn't even a high caliber pistol. Your dear old bunny Daisy wouldn't have even flinched.
>Turning back to your aunts, you rip off your helmet.
"I dropped out of this hellhole to run into you two fucking lunatics again?!"
>That did it.
>Their eyes widened in realization.
>"Anon?!" "ANON?!"
"Anon~! Anon~! YES IT'S FUCKING ME!"
>Dumb assholes.

>Celestia, the first one out of her stupor, tries walking towards you, hand outstretched.
>Fuck that, bitch! Get away!
>You immediately backpedal a couple of steps, pistol trained at her body.
"Don't you come near me! Don't you dare!"
>Her hands come up almost immediately and she freezes in place.
>"Anon, please! This is foolish! Put the gun down!"
"Screw off! You've got a lot of nerve telling me what to do!"
>Luna picked now to chime in.
>"Anon, we don't understand. What ever is the problem!"
"Problem? PROBLEM?! The problem is that I just carved Hell a new asshole, and my ticket home landed me at my old high school! And to make matters worse, i get the misfortune of looking at my two least favorite people! If I wasn't so happy to see a human alive, you'd be chunky salsa right now!"
>Both of them look extremely hurt.
>"Anon, Luna and I have told you time and time again that we were sorry we didn't listen to you! We should have known you were right, what more do you want from us?"
>"Anon, is this really the best way to respond to our decision? And where have you been?! Your family, as well as ourselves, have been worried sick! You left one day after school and none of us heard from you again!"
>That.
>You remember why you left. Looking back, it was pretty stupid of you to leave for that reason (Why on Hell did you think that your Drill Sergeants were going to be better than your aunts?), but you didn't care.
>You were constantly bullied for being a runt, and your bullies somehow managed to turn the blame on you.
>Celestia and Luna always believed them, and it didn't help your case that you broke that centerpiece of theirs with those 6 gems.
>You got stuck writing sentences, balancing books, and cleaning after hours, not to mention the flak you got from your family for getting in trouble. It wasn't until you found that UAC ad that you packed up your meager belongings and left that part of your life behind.

"You wanna know where I've been? Here's a hint: Mars. Phobos. Deimos. Ringing any bells?"
>Luna was confused beyond belief, but Celestia knew immediately.
>"Anon, you ran away to join the Military? You put yourself in the line of fire, JUST to get away from us?!"
>Celestia was getting noticably pissed. Her brow furrowed in anger as she began marching towards you.
>"You tried to get yourself killed over petty punishments? Do you have ANY idea how irresponsible that was?"
"Who's holding the fucking gun here? Back off, you bitch!"
>She stops her march about 10 feet from you. her anger replaced with repugnant shock.
"You didn't know what that was like! YOU WERE FUCKING FAMILY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY BACK, NOT PUNISH ME AND THINK I'M A FUCKING LIAR!"
>"Anon Y. Mous, put the gun down, now! You're overreacting!"
>She had some serious stones to be talking down a man with a gun pointed at her, but she always was pretty tough.
>"Anon, we are sorry we did that to you. Honest. But this isn't the way to handle that! Just put the gun down and relax, we've been worried sick about you! Don't you remember the fun we used to have at your little birthday parties when you were younger?"
"Yeah, I remember. It was all fun and games until my 15th birthday in the middle of the school year when I broke your centerpiece. I told you both I was sorry over and over and saved my allowance over the following two years to pay it back, but you couldn't let it go! I suffered all through those years, and instead of helping me, you punished me because you though I was trying to pin the blame on someone else!"
>"Those were a family heirloom, Anon! Of course we were going to be ups-"
"You know what, fucking save your breath. I'm not listening to this bullshit anymore. I left this hellhole and I never regretted it, especially considering the clusterfuck I just went through. If someone up there loves me a lot, he'll give me a way out right now.
>Collect call received, bitch!

>Suddenly, the sound of a portal opening up echoes behind you.
>You turn around to come face to face with a burly looking Baron of Hell with a positively dapper looking top hat.
>He gives his best attempt at a smile, and starts talking to you.
>"Hello, sir! What say we get you out of here and onto a right proper bicycle of nightmares?"
>You smile the very first sincere smile you've ever had since you left your home.
"It would be my absolute pleasure. Can you give me a sec, though?"
>Without waiting for your approval, you turn around, run like a bat out of hell at Celestia, and slam your standard issue boot into her shin.
>She, expectedly, doubles over. You're pretty sure her shin is borked. Heh heh. Borked.
"That's for confiscating my spaghetti lunch, you pretentious cunt!"
>You shoot a middle finger to Luna, call the student body a bunch of miserable pukes, call the yellow skinned girl a frail coward in severe need of an attitude adjustment (to which she broke down), and walk back to the Baron.
"Shall we go?"
>"Good show, sir! Off we go!"
>And you feel yourself pulled in a non-existent direction again.

>Your eyes fling open immediately, and you sit up just as fast, your breath heavy and your forehead covered in a damp, cold, sweaty film.
>Holy shit.
>That was a fucking dream and a half.
>What brought that on?
>More importantly, where are you?
>Upon trying to get up, your boot makes some squishy noises.
>You look down in apprehension.
>The whole floor looks like intestines, and you smell burning flesh.
>You look up to the sky and notice a huge chunk of land floating above.
>Now you know.
>You're on the surface of hell.
>You were knocked off the rope you rappelled down on by a stray Cacodemon, and you must've fallen in this pit and fell unconscious.
>That would explain why you were alive, anyway.
>You don't have your weapons from the Deimos base on you, so you presume they got lost when you fell.
>Guess it's just you and your pistol again.
>In fact, that whole dream, and all this bullshit that's been happening, has got you pretty pissed.
>You didn't tell some spawn of a goat and robot with a rocket launcher glued on its hand to go fuck itself just so you could have an unpleasant dream.
>Oh, heads are gonna roll.
>You get to your feet and make for the skull switch in front of you.
>It's time for some Ultra-Violence.