Internet Searching

I have the internet browser on my phone set to private so that none of the shit I look up while using my phone can be found in my browser history, because I use my phone as an instant fact checker; so if there's something I need to know, I pull out my phone, structure my query into question format, and enter that question into Google. I don't want anybody to see the things I look up because not only would it reveal that I'm not nearly as knowledgeable as I pretend to be but also I often Google questions that are either generally embarrassing or questions that as a self reliable 24-year-old man I should know the answers to. For example, the last three things I looked up on google are, “Can I feed my cat watermelon? How tall is John Kransinski?” and, “Is it okay to use Clorox wipes in place of toilet paper?” In case you’re wondering the answers are, “yes, 6’3”, and no it is absolutely not ok.” I didn’t even need to look that last one up because by time the results loaded my asshole was on fire.