Celestia/Anon (cute shorts)

Nov 14th, 2013
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  1. 1. If I ever met Celestia, I would put whipped cream on her muzzle. Right on the top of her nose, just out of reach of her tongue. Celestia sneezes on you and the sun gets screwed up
  3. >"I would be embarrassed but...Anon you did place whipped cream on my nose"
  4. >Celestia levitates a cloth napkin to you
  5. >You snatch it from the air and remove the result of your mischief from your face
  6. >She giggles, and uses another napkin to brush leftover cream from her nose, before it causes another disaster
  7. >You both hear the sound of ponies murmuring outside
  8. >"Oh dear..."
  9. >You cock and eyebrow, but Celestia has already retreated to a nearby window
  10. >Following close behind, you see what caused her distress
  11. >The sun, moments before at its apex, is now halfway below the horizon
  12. >To the north
  13. >"Anon, I must confess, that is a new one even for myself"
  14. >You can only nod
  16. 2. do one where you ask to put whipped cream on her butt
  18. >"Come again?"
  19. >You had to admit, you don't know where you found your courage
  20. >Or the can of whipped cream
  21. >But the words already left your mouth, and Celestia is quite befuddled
  22. >"Why would you wish to do such a thing?"
  23. >Scratching your head, you admit you didn't have much motivation, other than it seemed like a good idea
  24. >Minus maybe getting to lick it up but one step at a time
  25. >You see a slight blush creep on her cheeks as she kicks a hoof against the floor
  26. >"I...well...perhaps just a small amount couldn't hurt..."
  27. >She turns around, keeping her eyes on the can as she does
  28. >You shake it up, making no effort to hide the childlike glee this brought you
  29. >She lifts her tail, her ethereal mane drifting aside and revealing her white, round, fluffy plot
  30. >It's about to get a little whiter as you eagerly hold the can right above the curvy cheeks and press down, spraying a generous amount of cream
  31. >"EEEK!"
  32. >You feel a sharp pain in your chest
  33. >And find yourself on your back
  34. >Looking up at the ceiling
  35. >Panicked hoofsteps approach from where you were, and Celestia's face appears in your field of vision
  36. >"Oh Anon! I am exceedingly sorry! I was not expecting it to be so...cold!"
  37. >Totally worth it
  39. 3. anon hides a muffin on Celestia's throne and she sits on it, the aftermath is up to you
  41. >Growing up, whenever you were pranked in school, you always returned the favor doubly so
  42. >You never expected to revisit your old philosophy in adulthood, let along in Equestria
  43. >But when you went to change and found your dresser full of radishes, you knew war was declared
  44. >Celestia had a fondness for little pranks like this, but nobody dared retaliate
  45. >Today that would change
  46. >Sneaking into her throne room just before dawn, you slipped a double chocolate muffin onto her chair
  47. >If she doesn't see it and sits, her white fur will make it look like she...
  48. >You chuckle like a little kid as you find a good place to hide and wait
  49. >Before long, sunlight streams through the windows
  50. >Trumpets sound, birds sing
  51. >And the great doors to the throne room open
  52. >Celestia and her entourage stroll in, her eyes closed from the morning light
  53. >Perfect
  54. >You wait from your vantage point, rubbing your hands together with a grin
  55. >She finishes speaking to an aide
  56. >Turns around gracefully
  57. >And plants her rear down
  58. >It takes all your willpower not to burst out laughing
  59. >More so when she doesn't seem to notice
  60. >How could she not feel that massive muffin beneath her rump?
  61. >But that presents a problem
  62. >You had planned to slip out in the commotion after she sat down but
  63. >If she didn't notice you couldn't just appear from behind a pillar and walk out
  64. >She's opening a scroll and speaking to a different aide
  65. >The scroll rolls out to the floor
  66. >Your knees begin to ache...
  67. >7 hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds
  68. >That's how long you've been squatting in the corner of her throne room behind a marble pillar
  69. >Your legs were numb, your back ached, and you had to use the bathroom
  70. >And holy hell you were starving
  71. >You had the pleasure of watching Celestia eat breakfast, lunch and dinner
  72. >Never once leaving her throne
  73. >Never once so much as standing
  74. >She clears her throat and raises a hoof, the back and forth between the court silencing
  75. >"My little ponies, it is almost time to lower the sun, please excuse me for a moment as the day has been quite long and I require a moment to myself."
  76. >One by one, the aides and other ponies thanked her for her time and filed out
  77. >When the last one was gone, and her guard were dismissed, a playful smile crosses her lips
  78. >"You can come out now, Anon"
  79. >You're not sure you can
  80. >Actually, you can't, your legs are so stiff you only manage to fall from your hiding spot
  81. >With a painful moan, you slowly extend one leg at a time
  82. >She trots over and prods you with a hoof
  83. >"I expected better sport from you, Anon. I was placing chocolate on chairs when your grandmother was in diapers"
  84. >You stare back in disbelief
  85. >With a wink, she walks away
  86. >And sure enough, her rear is as white as it always is
  87. >When you finally can walk you stumble back to the empty throne
  88. >The muffin is gone
  89. >You don't know whether to be confused, scared or oddly aroused...
  91. 4. write about how anon hides in the royal bathtub with a snorkel and scares Celly when she takes a bath
  93. >It takes a little bit of string pulling
  94. >But you finally have access to Celestia's private bath chamber
  95. >Her tub, if you could call it that, is easily the size of most above ground pools
  96. >You don't have much time, the water is already close to the edge and the bubbles are nearly touching the ceiling
  97. >She'll be in soon
  98. >You jump in, using the excessive amount of bubbles to hide your snorkel as you push yourself just below the waterline
  99. >It's harder to make out underwater but soon enough you can hear the muffled sound of humming and the thuds of hooves against tile
  100. >She's here
  101. >You watch one leg after the other slowly lower itself into the warm water
  102. >Eventually all of her below the neck is submerged
  103. >You take a moment or two to admire her elegant form below the water, eyes tracing over her body
  104. >But not for too long, Anon, you have a mission to accomplish
  105. >Very slightly, you push yourself toward her
  106. >The music from Jaws playing in your mind
  107. >Closer, closer
  108. >Let the bubbles on your snorkel conceal it for just a second longer
  109. >You reach out and with a final kick off the floor of the tub
  110. >Your fingers find her exposed underbelly
  111. >She gasps and starts to flail
  112. >Under the water you can avoid her kicks as you tickle away
  113. >Her yelps of fear become mixed with laughter as she struggles desperately to get out of the tub
  114. >The sides are slippery so she can't escape and you continue your assault
  115. >Tickle tickle tickle
  116. >She's in a full blown laughing fit, spinning about in the tub, water and bubbles going everywhere
  117. >Her hips slam into your body
  118. >Something wraps around your waist
  119. >You get pulled deeper underwater, the soapy fluid going down the snorkel and into your mouth
  120. >You let go of Celestia and pull the apparatus from your mouth
  121. >But you can't seem to find your bearings and you keep getting tugged
  122. >One of her hooves knocks your goggles off
  123. >The water stings your eyes and you begin to flail about trying to find the surface
  124. >Another tug and your entire body is out of the water now
  125. >You rub your eyes trying to see what the heck is going on
  126. >You blink once
  127. >Then again
  128. >And one more time for good measure
  129. >Your face is literally an inch from Celestia's rear end
  130. >All of the sun's glory before you
  131. >That's when you realize your lower half is completely tangled in her tail
  132. >"Anon?"
  133. >You can't see her, but she definitely can see you dangling from her multicolored tail
  134. >Wearing nothing but swim trunks
  135. >Your head obstructed entirely by her plot
  136. >"That was not funny! I could have slipped!"
  137. >You can't even nod in agreement, or lean out to see that she's smiling, but her tone of voice at least tells you you're not headed to the stockade
  138. >Just then, a luffa presses itself into your hand
  139. >"While you're back there, be a dear and help the sun shine a little brighter, will you?"
  140. >You're in no position to argue
  141. >With a dutiful sigh, you begin to scrub the royal flank
  142. >Serves you right, you guess
  143. >"That is...quite satisfying...Anon, are you still searching for employment? I believe we may have found your special talent"
  144. >You don't say, Princess...
  146. 5. Celestia has a bad dream
  148. >Clop clop clop
  149. >You push the covers from your body, rubbing your eyes and looking to the door
  150. >The sound of a hoof against heavy wood roused you from your sleep
  151. >A muffled voice calls out to you from the other side
  152. "...come in?"
  153. >The doors creek open, the source of the knocking letting herself in
  154. >"Anon...I had a scary dream"
  155. >Celestia?
  156. >She's already trotting to your bed before you can even process what's happening
  157. >In her mouth, a fluffy pillow sways back and forth
  158. >"May I share the bedroom with you tonight? I will remain well on my side, you won't notice my--"
  159. >You groan and pat the bed
  160. >She smiles and climbs in
  161. >You turn so you're on your side, facing away from the princess
  162. >You close your eyes
  163. >Come on, get back to sleep
  164. >"Anon?"
  165. >...
  166. "Yes, Princess?"
  167. >"Tell me a story to help me forget about the bad dream?"
  168. >You suck air through your nostrils, swallowing the flash of annoyance you feel
  169. >"Please?"
  170. >You roll back toward her
  171. >She's smiling sheepishly and blinks her eyes a few times
  172. "Alright alright..once upon a time there was a Queen--"
  173. >"Princess, Anon"
  174. "Ugh, ok there was a Princess..."
  175. "And she went to sleep."
  176. >Celestia looks at you for a moment, waiting.
  177. >"...and?"
  178. >You sigh.
  179. "She slept peacefully. The end."*
  180. >You close your eyes and try to encourage her to sleep too
  181. >A few moments pass
  182. >"Did she sleep for a long time?"
  183. "Yes"
  184. >"How long?"
  185. "Forever"
  186. >"Oh..."
  187. >You feel her shift about under the covers
  188. >Her hind legs very gently push against yours
  189. >"...why did she sleep forever?"
  190. "Because she was very tired and had a 12 hour shift after a quick turn"
  191. >Celestia lays her head on your chest
  192. >You open your eyes
  193. >She looks up at you
  194. >Her mane spilling all over the bed
  195. >"Was she a pretty princess?"
  196. "Yes..."
  197. >"Prettier than me?"
  198. >She has the tiniest of smiles
  199. "No, you're the prettiest princess ever born"
  200. >She closes her eyes and snuggles up against you
  201. >"Good"
  202. >After a moment, her breathing slows and her body becomes still
  203. >You sigh, grateful that she---
  205. > least she smelled nice....
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