Celestia/Anon (cute shorts)

1. If I ever met Celestia, I would put whipped cream on her muzzle.  Right on the top of her nose, just out of reach of her tongue.  Celestia sneezes on you and the sun gets screwed up

>"I would be embarrassed but...Anon you did place whipped cream on my nose"
>Celestia levitates a cloth napkin to you
>You snatch it from the air and remove the result of your mischief from your face
>She giggles, and uses another napkin to brush leftover cream from her nose, before it causes another disaster
>You both hear the sound of ponies murmuring outside
>"Oh dear..."
>You cock and eyebrow, but Celestia has already retreated to a nearby window
>Following close behind, you see what caused her distress
>The sun, moments before at its apex, is now halfway below the horizon
>To the north
>"Anon, I must confess, that is a new one even for myself"
>You can only nod

2. do one where you ask to put whipped cream on her butt

>"Come again?"
>You had to admit, you don't know where you found your courage
>Or the can of whipped cream
>But the words already left your mouth, and Celestia is quite befuddled
>"Why would you wish to do such a thing?"
>Scratching your head, you admit you didn't have much motivation, other than it seemed like a good idea
>Minus maybe getting to lick it up but one step at a time
>You see a slight blush creep on her cheeks as she kicks a hoof against the floor
>"I...well...perhaps just a small amount couldn't hurt..."
>She turns around, keeping her eyes on the can as she does
>You shake it up, making no effort to hide the childlike glee this brought you
>She lifts her tail, her ethereal mane drifting aside and revealing her white, round, fluffy plot
>It's about to get a little whiter as you eagerly hold the can right above the curvy cheeks and press down, spraying a generous amount of cream
>"EEEK!"
>You feel a sharp pain in your chest
>And find yourself on your back
>Looking up at the ceiling
>Panicked hoofsteps approach from where you were, and Celestia's face appears in your field of vision
>"Oh Anon! I am exceedingly sorry! I was not expecting it to be so...cold!"
>Totally worth it

3. anon hides a muffin on Celestia's throne and she sits on it, the aftermath is up to you

>Growing up, whenever you were pranked in school, you always returned the favor doubly so
>You never expected to revisit your old philosophy in adulthood, let along in Equestria
>But when you went to change and found your dresser full of radishes, you knew war was declared
>Celestia had a fondness for little pranks like this, but nobody dared retaliate
>Today that would change
>Sneaking into her throne room just before dawn, you slipped a double chocolate muffin onto her chair
>If she doesn't see it and sits, her white fur will make it look like she...
>You chuckle like a little kid as you find a good place to hide and wait
>Before long, sunlight streams through the windows
>Trumpets sound, birds sing
>And the great doors to the throne room open
>Celestia and her entourage stroll in, her eyes closed from the morning light
>Perfect
>You wait from your vantage point, rubbing your hands together with a grin
>She finishes speaking to an aide
>Turns around gracefully
>And plants her rear down
>It takes all your willpower not to burst out laughing
>More so when she doesn't seem to notice
>How could she not feel that massive muffin beneath her rump?
>But that presents a problem
>You had planned to slip out in the commotion after she sat down but
>If she didn't notice you couldn't just appear from behind a pillar and walk out
>She's opening a scroll and speaking to a different aide
>The scroll rolls out to the floor
>Your knees begin to ache...
>7 hours, 23 minutes and 15 seconds
>That's how long you've been squatting in the corner of her throne room behind a marble pillar
>Your legs were numb, your back ached, and you had to use the bathroom
>And holy hell you were starving
>You had the pleasure of watching Celestia eat breakfast, lunch and dinner
>Never once leaving her throne
>Never once so much as standing
>She clears her throat and raises a hoof, the back and forth between the court silencing
>"My little ponies, it is almost time to lower the sun, please excuse me for a moment as the day has been quite long and I require a moment to myself."
>One by one, the aides and other ponies thanked her for her time and filed out
>When the last one was gone, and her guard were dismissed, a playful smile crosses her lips
>"You can come out now, Anon"
>You're not sure you can
>Actually, you can't, your legs are so stiff you only manage to fall from your hiding spot
>With a painful moan, you slowly extend one leg at a time
>She trots over and prods you with a hoof
>"I expected better sport from you, Anon. I was placing chocolate on chairs when your grandmother was in diapers"
>You stare back in disbelief
>With a wink, she walks away
>And sure enough, her rear is as white as it always is
>When you finally can walk you stumble back to the empty throne
>The muffin is gone
>You don't know whether to be confused, scared or oddly aroused...

4. write about how anon hides in the royal bathtub with a snorkel and scares Celly when she takes a bath

>It takes a little bit of string pulling
>But you finally have access to Celestia's private bath chamber
>Her tub, if you could call it that, is easily the size of most above ground pools
>You don't have much time, the water is already close to the edge and the bubbles are nearly touching the ceiling
>She'll be in soon
>You jump in, using the excessive amount of bubbles to hide your snorkel as you push yourself just below the waterline
>It's harder to make out underwater but soon enough you can hear the muffled sound of humming and the thuds of hooves against tile
>She's here
>You watch one leg after the other slowly lower itself into the warm water
>Eventually all of her below the neck is submerged
>You take a moment or two to admire her elegant form below the water, eyes tracing over her body
>But not for too long, Anon, you have a mission to accomplish
>Very slightly, you push yourself toward her
>The music from Jaws playing in your mind
>Closer, closer
>Let the bubbles on your snorkel conceal it for just a second longer
>You reach out and with a final kick off the floor of the tub
>Your fingers find her exposed underbelly
>She gasps and starts to flail
>Under the water you can avoid her kicks as you tickle away
>Her yelps of fear become mixed with laughter as she struggles desperately to get out of the tub
>The sides are slippery so she can't escape and you continue your assault
>Tickle tickle tickle
>She's in a full blown laughing fit, spinning about in the tub, water and bubbles going everywhere
>Her hips slam into your body
>Something wraps around your waist
>You get pulled deeper underwater, the soapy fluid going down the snorkel and into your mouth
>You let go of Celestia and pull the apparatus from your mouth
>But you can't seem to find your bearings and you keep getting tugged
>One of her hooves knocks your goggles off
>The water stings your eyes and you begin to flail about trying to find the surface
>Another tug and your entire body is out of the water now
>You rub your eyes trying to see what the heck is going on
>You blink once
>Then again
>And one more time for good measure
>Your face is literally an inch from Celestia's rear end
>All of the sun's glory before you
>That's when you realize your lower half is completely tangled in her tail
>"Anon?"
>You can't see her, but she definitely can see you dangling from her multicolored tail
>Wearing nothing but swim trunks
>Your head obstructed entirely by her plot
>"That was not funny! I could have slipped!"
>You can't even nod in agreement, or lean out to see that she's smiling, but her tone of voice at least tells you you're not headed to the stockade
>Just then, a luffa presses itself into your hand
>"While you're back there, be a dear and help the sun shine a little brighter, will you?"
>You're in no position to argue
>With a dutiful sigh, you begin to scrub the royal flank
>Serves you right, you guess
>"That is...quite satisfying...Anon, are you still searching for employment? I believe we may have found your special talent"
>You don't say, Princess...

5. Celestia has a bad dream

>Clop clop clop
>You push the covers from your body, rubbing your eyes and looking to the door
>The sound of a hoof against heavy wood roused you from your sleep
>A muffled voice calls out to you from the other side
"...come in?"
>The doors creek open, the source of the knocking letting herself in
>"Anon...I had a scary dream"
>Celestia?
>She's already trotting to your bed before you can even process what's happening
>In her mouth, a fluffy pillow sways back and forth
>"May I share the bedroom with you tonight? I will remain well on my side, you won't notice my--"
>You groan and pat the bed
>She smiles and climbs in
>You turn so you're on your side, facing away from the princess
>You close your eyes
>Come on, get back to sleep
>"Anon?"
>...
"Yes, Princess?"
>"Tell me a story to help me forget about the bad dream?"
>You suck air through your nostrils, swallowing the flash of annoyance you feel
>"Please?"
>You roll back toward her
>She's smiling sheepishly and blinks her eyes a few times
"Alright alright..once upon a time there was a Queen--"
>"Princess, Anon"
"Ugh, ok there was a Princess..."
"And she went to sleep."
>Celestia looks at you for a moment, waiting.
>"...and?"
>You sigh.
"She slept peacefully. The end."*
>You close your eyes and try to encourage her to sleep too
>A few moments pass
>"Did she sleep for a long time?"
"Yes"
>"How long?"
"Forever"
>"Oh..."
>You feel her shift about under the covers
>Her hind legs very gently push against yours
>"...why did she sleep forever?"
"Because she was very tired and had a 12 hour shift after a quick turn"
>Celestia lays her head on your chest
>You open your eyes
>She looks up at you
>Her mane spilling all over the bed
>"Was she a pretty princess?"
"Yes..."
>"Prettier than me?"
>She has the tiniest of smiles
"No, you're the prettiest princess ever born"
>She closes her eyes and snuggles up against you
>"Good"
>After a moment, her breathing slows and her body becomes still
>You sigh, grateful that she---
>*SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE*
>....at least she smelled nice....