Sleep and meditation rant
- Alright, so during some of my worst anxiety phases, during really bad sort of dissociative phases, I have these moments where I would fall asleep and I would be stuck in a place of complete and total unconsciousness. There are no dreams, no stimulation, just unconsciousness, sort of like what I think death would be like (no one really knows because you know death = canney fucking talk).
- They are the weirdest thing, however I think my theory as the why these would happen is again down to dissociation + lack of stimulation. Whenever you typically sleep you sort of have these dreams where you would reflect on something that happened to you recently, it’s very abstract usually people don’t think about it. But I feel like sleep to some extent is essentially a sort of periodic meditation moment. As in, you meditate and try and repair whatever damage you had during the day.
- Like, you become tired and you go to sleep but you sort of unconsciously meditate whilst doing so, and I feel like that sort of ties into how your mind sort of repairs itself.
- I’ve had moments where I’ve had a really shitty sleep and any sort of period of meditation can do wonders to fix it, or at least alleviate the symptoms of sleep deprivation. Like, I would lie down and meditate, wouldn’t sleep, meditate. And when I get out of that state, I feel sort of refreshed, that I am ready to start the day again.
- You are essentially assessing the past, trying to figure out some sort of meaning out of what you have experienced, or trying to figure out any sort of hazards that could contribute to something catastrophic. Meditation does work wonders on both mental and physical health though (moreover mental health, but the two are essentially tied into each other).
- I’m also having a feeling that nightmares are sort of reflective of an unconscious abstract thought process reflecting on various anxieties you could be experiencing.
- Like, for example teeth falling out in dream means that I should focus more on dental hygiene, that sort of thing. Or, whenever I have a dream where I imagine a nuclear bomb coming down, obliterating everything, or the flash of light that comes with it, or trying to hide under the stairs so that I don’t get obliterated along with everything else.
- Or sometimes where in my dreams, I manage to predict events that happen do me tomorrow or in my life. Like, I manage to imagine the woman who was supposed to get me into a job for the Summer last year with complete accuracy. Essentially sort of like that scene in Muholland Drive where the guy is explaining this dream he had, and the situation sort of plays out exactly as to how his dream predicted. It’s incredibly paradoxical and subjective. Basically, can not conform to the scientific method BUT GODDAMNIT I HAD THOSE EXPERIENCES, GAH.
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