Jessica Law:
	Bc it ain’t mine
	maybe mike but idk
Leila:
	Idk don’t think so
	Def no loofa or anything
Jessica Law:
	Fuckin weird
Leila:
	My color conditioner and I shampoo have and my baby conditioner I have. I didn’t bring shampoo
	Idk
Jessica Law:
	Oof, idk, thx - very strange
Leila:
	🤷‍♀️
	Pic?
Jessica Law:
	I’ll just ask mike later  I mean you would remember
	They’re like those big pump jug size
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Leila:
	Yeah then not mine
	I like pusheen Luna
	Did you read discord
	?
	I’d appreciate some kind of response
	Or acknowledgment that you read it at the very least
Jessica Law:
	i read it
	i always read what you write
	i mean, you need to do what you want to do
	idk what you’d want me to say about it
Leila:
	Ok
	Nothing
Jessica Law:
	do you want me to leave you alone?
Leila:
	Just got anything genuine about the year+ I’ve been working hard and closely with you.
Jessica Law:
	?
Leila:
	I didn’t mean to type got
Jessica Law:
	i mean i wrote a whole recommendation about you, all of it true, i would hope by now you know how i feel and how helpful youve been
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	i didnt think i needed to iterate that
	and i didnt think this was the end
	so i wasn’t treating it as such
Leila:
	It’s the end of haven, considering
	I’m not going to demand or beg
Jessica Law:
	i’m literally going off of what you said, that you wanted a break
Leila:
	But I’d have appreciated at least a simple kind response, and not to have to ask if you’ve read things
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	sorry today was very busy, i woke up to chaos
	so after closing all the dms you left
	i probably just forgot or responded in my head
Leila:
	Ok
	not a single response from anyone even you doesn’t feel good
	It is what it is
Jessica Law:
	😐
Leila:
	Ok
	I’m not sure how to take that or what it means
	I’m sorry I asked for a response instead of knowing everything I should have. I don’t want to wind up in the same place.
	Just a sad ending to everything
	Few nice words would have been appreciated
	Felt odd being texted as if nothing happened and then feeling bad for even asking if you’d read it or had a response, Bc of the expectation that I should already know everything.
Jessica Law:
	im sorry i didnt have anything to say
	i thought a text would be a response
Leila:
	About shampoo?
	Felt very dismissive and hurtful
Jessica Law:
	man i just cant win
Leila:
	Ok
	I don’t know how to take that either
Jessica Law:
	i dont see how talking to you is dismissive
	to me if anything it’s a sign of continuity
Leila:
	I think that not responding to something so massive and being texted about something random seems dismissive
	Especially considering how I felt prior to leaving
	I don’t want to argue
	It is done
	Harnessing any expectations is not serving me well. Even a thank you and I hope you feel better. But I stepped down or away and had nothing, not even a response from you, as if all the time spent was nothing.
	I think it’s unfair to expect me to automatically know or not feel bad about writing and no response Bc of chaos or whatever else. That felt dismissive
Jessica Law:
	no fuck that
Leila:
	It was a good thing for me and something I thought I was doing to give back and put an extreme amount of effort into
Jessica Law:
	bc not responding to one message doesnt say boo compared to everything you’ve already heard me say
	stop
Leila:
	It wasn’t one message, I left all the servers completely and stepped down completely
	I’m so confused as to why it’s like a seemingly random minor thing
	I just wanted a conclusion
Jessica Law:
	that i didnt respond to one message?
	we talked the entire time you were doing that
Leila:
	You don’t owe me anything Jess
Jessica Law:
	thats not what you seem to be saying
	your message is very clearly that my response was wrong for you
Leila:
	I didn’t get a response
Jessica Law:
	that it somehow negates your whole existence on haven
Leila:
	I wrote something intense and was texted about shampoo
Jessica Law:
	you confuse me
Leila:
	I’m sorry
	I don’t want to continue this
	I don’t want to upset you further and I don’t want to share things Bc I don’t think it’s healthy
	And I don’t want to dive deeper and argue
	I said what I have and it was genuine and I meant it when I said I hope I did some good and that I’m grateful
	I think that’s the best place to leave things
	I want to walk away feeling that the time I did put in was worth it and not having an argument or repeating the past
	And I have walked away
	I simply said it felt dismissive Bc I would have liked a response to what I wrote and not the expectation that I should know better and feel fine not getting any response. You don’t owe me anything and vice versa. I don’t want to function off that base.
	You have me a lot of good and I can only hope it was mutual
	Learning a lot of negative things about me from others on the server was also hurtful and was something I mentioned and I felt that it was ok to share and I felt like it would have been nice to have a response to what I wrote after leaving the servers.
	I think it’s unhealthy for both of us clearly
	I would you can at least understand how not receiving a response to what I wrote felt dismissive especially followed by something very random, and considering how I’ve felt and what I’ve experienced in being ignored while working on haven. I would like some understanding but that’s not an expectation it’s just something I feel might have made me feel a bit less bad
	I have walked away and I have nothing to show for it and learning more negatives about myself especially inaccurate ones feels pretty horrible considering how many hours and weeks and months and over a year I dedicated to it and worked it as if it was a real paying job, and Bc I was passionate about
	If I felt owed something I would never have done that
	It came from the heart and I never once asked for any kind of compensation
	In fact I turned it down
	So hearing for you and seeing your anger or the idea that I am pushing towards the side of feeling owed something also is hurtful to me.
	I put in more hours than many people do for most legit paying jobs for a while. I didn’t think even think about compensation Bc it never crossed my mind. I don’t want to end my time in haven on that kind of premise
	Bc I never expected anything back
Jessica Law:
	youre literally saying to me i dismissed you and negated everything youve ever done for the haven because i didnt reply to one message
Leila:
	No
	I’m saying exactly what I typed
	Which is how I felt
	And it wasn’t one random message. It was a very massive beyond heartbreaking decision and I had left the servers which happened after you went to sleep. I don’t think it’s one toss off random thing. It was a big deal, at least to me.
	If you feel how you do I can’t change that
Jessica Law:
	i mean, i just cant help that i didnt have something to say
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	like, seriously today was busy
	from the second i woke up
	and it continues to be so
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	when i read i think i didnt have a response
	this isnt a diss on you
	but i didnt think it was a huge deal either since all of this was “im on a break”
Leila:
	It wasn’t a break after everything I wrote.
	And you don’t owe me anything
	Like I said
	I did what I did Bc it came from the heart
	I can’t control how it ends if I decided to leave
	But it felt like an immensely dismissive ending, in many ways, past your few words or lack there of.
	I have to hold tight all the good and all that I felt was positive
Jessica Law:
	ok
	i didnt glean from that that you were gone for good
	which would be why i didnt react the way you wanted
Leila:
	I didn’t say I will never ever come back but I think that stepping down and leaving he servers completely is quite a massive indication that I stepped down and away from haven. You said for admins it was an everyday expectation and that isn’t something I can offer anymore. I wanted anything genuine
	I don’t want a response Bc I expected it
	Or thought it was right
	Even just leaving the servers is clearly a big deal. I don’t know how else or what other words or actions were necessary or needed to indicate what they did.
	And hearing that I should have known how you felt Bc you wrote me a recommendation also felt kind of bad
Jessica Law:
	leila honey i cant
	 everything i do hurts you
Leila:
	Bc all I said what that it was hurtful and dismissive to not receive a response to what I wrote
	Ok
	I’m not painting you ill
Jessica Law:
	its not meant to but it seems to always be that way
Leila:
	Ok
Jessica Law:
	you are tho
	and maybe you dont see it
Leila:
	Saying that things are hurtful and I may not agree
	Doesn’t mean you are bad especially when I follow it with so many positives
	But perhaps it isn’t good for either of us
	Like you said
	And I am sorry for both of us that even this seems to be an argument and time consuming and all I would have liked is a response to what I wrote and the fact that I literally left the servers.
	You clearly are busy and have a lot going on
	And you feel that what I’ve said is unfair. I’m sorry you feel that way but I do want to make it evident how clearly I worked extremely hard with no expectation of any compensation. So I would like to not end on such a note. And I love you and want you to grow and build what you want and help people how you want.
	I only wish you the ultimate best in everything and reaching your goals how I have from the first time I met you
	I guess I shouldn’t have expected or  felt bad about not getting a response. I think we see things differently. I don’t want that to result in bads
	I’ve made the decision which was best for me.
Jessica Law:
	you did and i think it is wise
Leila:
	I think you have made the decision of what’s best for you
	And it’s that simple
Jessica Law:
	alright
	my mom is here
Leila:
	Ok
	I’ll let you go
Jessica Law:
	 mean i’m around, just if it takes me a while
Leila:
	Ok
	It’s all good
Jessica Law:
	look bottom line even if i dont do everything right, im your friend
	and bc if that i always appreciate you
	no matter what
Leila:
	Thanks Jess
	Same
	Hope you have a good rest of the day
Jessica Law:
	wait
	u have to see
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	nnnngh
Leila:
	Very cute