Bloated Bunny

>The dark night was illuminated like an artificial in the city, sounds of traffic in the distance and comfortably cool after the hot summer day
>But that couldn’t explain why the purple rabbit was sweating bullets and walking with her arms twisted around her waist
>No, the explanation for her current condition started this morning with a heavy breakfast
>One that would sit inside her stomach like a rock throughout a long day at work
>Exacerbated by a questionably expired microwavable burrito for lunch
>And as if tempting fate, she foolishly took her coworker’s offer to hit up a Chinese buffet after they closed up shop
>Now she was headed to a friend’s place to hang out tonight, but instead of being happy, she felt ready to explode
>Every step another gas cramp tore through her, but the feeling paled in comparison to her hatred for the cruel timing of things
>Too polite to let out even a puff of the countless farts that built up in her bowels around anyone she knew, she had held it all day
>Yet now alone in this side alley, nothing came out from underneath her puffy tail
>Try as she might, she felt like a methane-filled balloon tied firmly at the end
>”Come on, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him. Dropping the mother of all stink bombs in his apartment is a shitty introduction.”
>Growing impatient she grunted loudly and balled her fists
>Only to be rewarded with a silent poot of almost nonexistent size
>Practically growling she muttered under her breath
>”Fucking hell, irritable bowels all my life and this is the one time they want to keep quiet.”
>Pulling her long ears down in frustration, she tried to think of something
>She could just try to hold it in longer, but even if her baggy hoodie hid the tremendous bloating on her normally slender frame, she knew she would blow before the night was over
>It would be worse than the one time she fumigated a local yoga place so badly she was banned for life
>Wait, that was it!
>She let go of her ears and they whipped straight back up as she jogged over to a couple nearby dumpsters
>It may have been only one class, but she learned just how much those streches got things flowing inside her
>Quickly she moved in between the large metal containers, bracing herself against one and more importantly using the other as leverage to life one of her legs as high as she could go
>Almost immediately she felt the bubbling mass of fermented food shift in her stomach
>Followed by a deep ominous gurgle from her core
>Not wanting to be late, she immediately bore down into a bucktoothed grimace of effort
>At first nothing but a mirror of her previous pitiful fart escaped her
>But after a couple of those, she felt a more substantial release of her trapped smog rumble through her sweatpants for a few seconds
>Not satisfied she strained until her face went red and forced out another short sharp fart… that was even shorter than the last one
>”Ngh, c’mon…”
>Panting in poorly contained irritation, she had to stop when she caught a whiff of her own creation
>It was absolutely toxic, a nightmare of sweet-and-sour sauce turned all sour, mixed with frightening amounts of hundred-year egg that apparently spent the whole century broiling in her ass
>The kind of thick stench that made the dumpsters surrounding her smell refreshing
>”Oh man, I canNOT be scaring him off with more of that tonight.”
>Recomposing herself, she felt the warmth of the baggy hoodie around her.
>It was the one the very same guy gave her in high school
>Of course it stopped smelling like him within a week of her wearing it, but it reminded her of his stupid jokes and all the times they skipped class to hang out back then
>Just melt into the couch and play videogames, the very same thing they wanted to try and do again tonight
>Relaxing a little with a sigh, she spoke under her breath
>”Yeah just hanging out… nothing more than that.”
>The moment her mind strayed from her current dilemma was precisely when everything inside of her began to surge south
>Sounding like a clogged drain attempting to handle more than it was built for, her insides finally let the floodgates open
>Her eyes bulged as she felt an immense pressure plow into her tailhole like a battering ram
>The Chinese may have invented gunpowder, but their food was twisted into something far more explosive inside of her
>The moment she gingerly pushed, it felt like all hell was breaking out of her in a fury of fiery flatulence so hot it stung on the way out
>The immense eruption of steamy death was stupendously loud like a brass band that couldn’t decide between deep bass or a reverberating crescendo and decided to rapidly fluctuate between the two
>Feeling like she might fly off if she didn’t grip the dumpster like her life depended on it, the dumpster behind her rattled slightly as it became doused in enough horrific hare fumes to completely overpower the garbage inside of it
>It would probably reek of her indigestion even after the trash was disposed of and filled again
>After an astounding seven seconds of spicy chicken fueled mayhem her backside finally fell into a whisper
>Only to continue for a second in silence before roaring back to life for round two
>After her personal record-breaking eruption of sinister smog, she would effortless let out a couple more that rivaled it in length and fluttered her sweatpants with their putrid power
>She lost count of exactly how many times she detonated like that, her mind lost in a fog about as blissful as the torture her poor burning ass was going through
>But after pushing out her own chokingly aromatic tempest, she fell limp as a lo mein noodle while panting heavily
>”F-fffuuuuuuuuuck man. That… that was BAD. Oooh, but I feel ten pounds lighter.”
>Trying not to pass out on her own dense fog, she took a moment to rest
>It wasn’t long before she heard footsteps however, and her limp ears stood to attention
>Trying to hide herself with an impossibly deep blush of embarrassment, she peeked out to see who it was
>Much to her horror it was her friend
>And he was carrying his garbage out to the dumpster
>Spotting her before she could curl into an infinitely small blackhole of shame, he practically sprinted to the dumpsters excitedly
>”Hey, is that you? Dude, what are you doing out here!? It’s been ages, let me throw this out and we can fire up the gamecube.”
>Nervously she tried to warn him in a way that wouldn’t tip him off
>”Yeah uh, I was just tying my shoe back here! But I’d wait a second to throw that out…”
>Completely oblivious to her message, he marched right towards her to give her a bearhug
>But as sweet as it was, she wanted to recoil in awkwardness when he nearly gagged breathing in her fresh cloud of funk
>”Oh god, you were right! What kind of roadkill are they stuffing in these things?”
>Sheepishly her ears fell as she agreed
>”Yeah, um… I don’t know but it sure is terrible. So come on, let’s get the hell out of here!”
> Nearly dragging him away, he still looked puzzled
>”Y’know, maybe this has something to do with it. Earlier I heard like, almost a motorcycle revving, but something must have been wrong with it because the thing sounded like it was dying.”
>She shrank inside the hoodie deeper as she realized he had all the clues, he just couldn’t comprehend something of that magnitude spilling out of a rabbit her size.
>Mercifully, it seemed like something else caught his attention
>”Woah! Is that my old jacket? You really kept it this long?”
>Before she could answer he swept the short woman off her feet into something like a bridal carry
>”Haha! Remember when I would lift you up like this in front of everyone and embarrass the hell out of you?”
>In response she punched him in the shoulder, eliciting a soft “Ow.”
>”Yeah I do you big jerk. Now come on and let’s reminisce inside instead of around the garbage!”
>Secretly more content than she let on in his arms, she tried to ignore another foreboding grumble from her stomach