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- > Chrysalis regularly tries to change into Sombra to get him in trouble
- > Daily "who's the real sombra?", just get a ton of ringpops, Sombra loves ringpops.
- > Chrysalis can't get away with nothing
- > NMM loves to turn off the lights
- > Resort to clap on lights, hooves can't get the right sound.
- > When NMM gets sad, you toss a blanket over the both of you, and cuddle in the eternal night
- > For Sombra's birthday, you get him a prism and a magnifying glass
- > He only sets fire to his sisters' hair the one time, he is much more responsible now.
- > Chrysalis watches TV and turns into her favorite character of each show.
- > She spends hours in front of the mirror, looking at her lusterous mane, trying on different forms.
- > While you are at work, she tries to boss her siblings around by turning into you
- > They catch on pretty quick, Chrysalis can't get your voice right.
- > Sombra has a huge stuffed animal collection, he arranges them in rows and pretends to be their king.
- > Chrysalis starts collecting an army of dust bunnies to combat this threat
- > NMM makes arms deals, a squirt gun here, a grabby claw there, the war only escalates.
- > Each night, they declare a truce and race to see who will get to you first to get their teeth brushed.
- > NMM she can do it herself, but she still likes it when she wins the race.
- > After you change into your pajamas, you all pile into bed.
- > It's a lumpy snuggle pile, but everyone gets comfortable and drifts off to sleep.
- > NMM says "Good Night, Father."
- > Chrysalis says "Don't worry, I told the bedbugs to stay away."
- > Sombra is already asleep, and mumbles "crystaaalllllls"
- > Breakfast: Pancakes
- > NMM always cuts the pancakes into lunar crescents
- > Sombra tries to make little castles, but he only really suceeds when you serve waffles
- > Chrysalis rolls them up and stuffs them in her cheeselegs for later
- > At the playground, the first thing they do is try to find the highest spot to perch
- > After squeaking about who is the ruler of the playground, they scatter.
- > Chrysalis looks at her reflection in the metal slides
- > Luna usually goes to the swing set, going as high as she can before jumping off and gliding to the ground.
- > She's very smug about her wings.
- > Sombra annexes the sandbox, often ordering the other kids to help build the Sand Empire
- > NMM always wins at hide and go seek.
- > Chryslalis loves duck duck goose
- > She changes into a goose every time (it's a pretty big goose, so she does alright)
- > Sombra loves to play with the weird things, bells, speaking tubes, and so on
- > Tic Tac Toe tournaments are fairly common, and highly competitive
- > Afterwards, if they were good, they get a treat
- > NMM gets cotton candy
- > Chrysalis gets sweethearts (it gets pretty stale, but she doesn't mind)
- > Sombra gets rock candy
- > When you get home, you get out the sleeping mats
- > They each get bundled up in a blanket as you read them a story
- > While they nap, you clean up the dishes and counters
- > When they wake up, they try to help you make dinner
- > Sombra has the coveted use of the knife
- > NMM is really good at mixing things
- > Chrysalis likes mashing fruit
- > After dinner, you all pile on the couch to watch a movie
- > Chrysalis likes to act along with the movies she knows
- > Sombra insists on absolute silence
- > NMM claims the remote control as soon as possible
- > She is careful to pause the movie whenever you have to answer the phone
- > Even when the call goes on for a while, she stands her ground before her siblings' unrestfulness
- > After the movie, it's time to brush everyone's hair
- > Sombra tries to get out of it, but between your size and his sisters, you catch him pretty easily
- > Chrysalis likes to lay her head on your lap as you brush her mane, making an odd purring sound
- > NMM insists on having her mane styled in a different way every night
- > You are now an adept bobby pin user
- > Some days, it feels like more than you can handle
- > But as you fall asleep with three little terrors nuzzled up against you, that makes it all worthwhile.
- > They get a little older
- > NMM develops a huge crush on Batman
- "You do not understand, father. I am going to marry Batman."
- > Chrysalis digs a "bugs only" hive
- > If left unattended, Sombra can and will make couch forts in seconds.
- > They each have their own room
- > NMM spends all her money from yard work on an insane amount of glow in the dark plastic stars
- > She insists she is too old for bedtime stories, but when you read to Chrysalis, she listens from behind the door.
- > Chrysalis has replaced her dust bunny army with Barbie dolls
- > You end up installing some hooks in the ceiling, and tying a simple web of rope up there
- > When she's done playing with the Barbies, she puts them back in their boxes and hangs the boxes from the rope
- > Sombra's room is a trap.
- > Lego's everywhere.
- > While the things he makes are pretty cool, he still leaves a heavy spread of Lego piece caltrops on the floor.
- > The kids have learned that your feet are much more sensitive to that sort of thing than their hooves
- > Sombra's bed is always base when they play tag, the cheaters
- > After much consideration, you get them a turtle.
- > Chrysalis is in charge of finding slugs to feed A'Tuin.
- > Once, when she came back from slug-gathering, she chased her siblings around the house with her muddy and slug filled hooves.
- > After some serious scolding, careful removal, and the gentle attentions of the garden hose, she was allowed to come back inside.
- > Sombra likes to make little Lego cities and put them on A'Tuin's shell
- > NMM takes the responsibility of turning the heat lamp on and off very seriously.
- > Every once in a while, each kid gets a day alone with you
- > Chrysalis goes to watch a romcom in the theater
- "Everybody tastes so good daddy!"
- > NMM goes to the observatory
- "Whoever is in charge of the stars is terrible."
- > Sombra goes to the science center
- "Can we have a volcano in our backyard?"
- > Keep thinkin', kid.
- > The trampoline is bad enough
- > Whoever gets on first starts a king of the hill type thing
- > Goodness knows how many scrapes you've bandaged, bumps you've kissed better
- > It's a pretty big trampoline too, it's not like they all wouldn't fit
- > You know this because sometimes, when they think you aren't there, they will all jump on it
- > Sometimes they drive you crazy like that
- > They have other ways too
- > One day you get home, and there is a pool of red in the kitchen
- > One heart attack and Olympic sprint later you find Sombra squeezing ketchup around a barbie
- > He freezes, looking at you with a deer in the headlights expression
- > You break open your economy pack of aspirin and down two little helpers
- > Sombra casually puts the bottle on the floor
- > It takes him a while to clean up the mess, and you take the barbie and put it in the throne room of his favorite castle set
- > He is not happy to hear the king has been deposed, but he takes it like a man.
- > Later he convinces Chrysalis to play, it gets pretty Game of Thrones
- > Doctor Sparkle Barbie retains the throne through cunning and intimidation
- > They have their quirks too
- > NMM likes to perch on top of the fridge
- > As you go about your business, she commands you to do what you are about to do
- > She gets fussy when you do something else, but also very smug when you do what she says
- > Chrysalis says she is going to marry you when she grows up
- > She names all her ken dolls "Anon Jr."
- > She gets very territorial when women come around
- > Which isn't often, but still
- > Sombra collects glass
- > You are very strict; he has to keep the collection in the garage, and clean up after himself
- > One day you find him making a stained glass portrait of your odd little family
- "This is how you are supposed to remember important things."
- > It takes a lot of work, but you install it in the place of the living room window
- > You're pretty proud of the little guy.
- > Chrysalis is getting better at voices
- > She practices with the radio
- > You play a game where you name a song and she sings at least the chorus
- > Bohemian rhapsody gives you chills, like you really are in the presence of Freddie Mercury
- > NMM has taken to sitting on the roof at night
- > You talk with her as you two gaze up at the stars
- > When she falls asleep, you carefully carry her to bed and tuck her in
- > You regret showing them the X-men
- > They whined, begged, threatened, commanded, and partially funded for you to get a wheel chair
- > You and your not-bald head
- > Sombra is Magneto
- > He learns chess precisely for this purpose
- > He knows he's supposed to say something ominous and meaningful, but what comes out is
- "You are probably going to burn dinner"
- > Or
- "You should get us popsicles. For the good of mutantkind."
- > Chrysalis is Mystique
- > She doesn't quite get what the deal is
- > She just flops around on the couch and looks at you with half-lidded eyes
- > NMM is Storm
- > "Magneto" and "Mystique" regularly plead for you to make her stop with the lightning already
- > You touch your temple and tell her to play nice
- > She rolls her eyes, and contents herself with floating around on her own little cloud
- > They've started to collect "Daddy's bad words"
- > It started at the county fair
- > They had fun, getting their faces painted
- > Cheating at ring toss with levitation
- > The carrousel creeped them out
- > Then a clown came up out of nowhere
- "Fuck!"
- > Bless their little hearts, they came to your defense
- > NMM zapped the clown pretty good
- > Sombra chased him to the mirror maze
- > You aren't sure what Chrysalis did, but you could hear sobbing as you walked away
- > You gave them all a big hug, and told them how brave they were, working together to defeat the evil clown
- > Then Chrysalis looks up at you with her big green eyes and asks
- "What does fuck mean?"
- > 'It's a secret word only adults get to use'
- > Sombra gives you a look
- "But Hissy just said it."
- > 'She used it wrong'
- > NMM's eyes light up
- "Fuck! That's the right way to say it, right father?"
- > You do not need this right now.
- > 'Guys, I need you to promise me to wait until you are an adult before you say that word.'
- > NMM pouts.
- "But I said it right and everything."
- > You give them all a serious look.
- > Sombra nods in understanding.
- "It is too powerful for us right now, we might lose control and hurt somebody. Very well, dad, I promise."
- > You hug your favorite son in the whole wide world
- > 'I'm proud of you, Sombrerbro'
- > The girls get jealous immediately
- "I promise too!"
- "No, I promise more!"
- > You let go of Sombra and scoop up the fillies and sling them onto your shoulders
- > 'I'm proud of you girls too. Now who wants some ice cream?"
- > You thought that was that
- > But no
- > You open your eyes.
- > it's 2:00 AM
- > You feel a presence hovering over you
- >'"Is that you, nom nom nom?'
- > She drops from her cloud onto your chest
- "Why weren't you scared?"
- > You hug her tight
- > 'I love you too much to be scared by you.'
- > She nuzzles your chest, and quietly replies
- "I love you too, daddy."
- > Your heart melts
- > But your eyes ache
- > 'Awww, thanks. Now daddy needs to sleep, or he will be cranky tomorrow. Alright?'
- > She gets to her hooves and hesitates.
- "Can I stay with you?"
- > You sigh, but not without fondness
- > 'Alright. Goodnight sweetie.'
- "Goodnight daddy."
- > Day Hearts and Hooves
- > Be Anon, trying hard not to be lonely
- > Kids get back from school
- > Manage a smile as you welcome them home
- > As you help them out of their backpacks, Chrysalis keeps glancing at you
- > Finally she says,
- "Do you have a special someone, Daddy?"
- > Keep that smile up, anon. For the kids.
- > 'Not yet. You aren't thinking of setting me up with your teacher again, are you?'
- > She shakes her head, and removes an envelope from her backpack.
- > It barely reaches your hands before she runs off to her hive in the backyard
- > What.
- > Sombra and NMM exchange glances and head off to their rooms, bags of candy levitating from their backpacks
- > You sit down on the couch, and open up the letter
- > A ton of glitter pours out, getting all over the cushions an your pants
- > You swear, you would kill these kids if you didn't love them so much
- > The piece of paper has a rough drawing of you and Chrysalis in a big ol' red heart and the words,
- "I want you to feel like those people in the movies - Your top secret admirer"
- > You sigh, and chuckle weakly
- > Such secret
- > You walk out to the hole in the backyard
- > Cheeselegs peeks out at you, and pouts.
- > As you sit down nearby, she asks,
- "Why didn't it work? You're supposed to stop being sad."
- > She sinks down a little.
- "Am I not good enough?"
- > Oh, kid.
- > As you lift her out of the hole, she squeaks in surprise
- > You pull her into a hug.
- > 'You are plenty good, it's just a gown-up thing, that's all.'
- "I can be a grown-up!"
- > And suddenly you are holding a woman.
- > You put her at an arm's distance, and you recognize the form as the female lead from the last romcom you two saw.
- > Not a bad choice
- > Wait, can't think that way
- > 'Honeybug, I need you to be you. I get lonely sometimes, and that's okay. But I would be much sadder if you tried to be something you are not.'
- > She slowly shifts back to her real form.
- "But being lonely hurts. I can feel it."
- > You pull her in for a tight hug, and sigh.
- > 'Can you feel how having you as a daughter makes it hurt less?'
- > She rests her head on your shoulder
- "A little bit."
- > You pet her mane
- > 'That's enough for me.'
- > Then there was the time you got sick.
- > For days.
- > NMM declared quarantine
- > If you got up to do something, she would dutifully proceed you, calling out
- "Contagion!"
- > Levitating anything that had come into contact with you
- > Early on, you wisely designated Sombra as the official food preparer
- > Not that the other two don't try, but after a glass of very pulpy orange juice and thirty mangled oranges, you put your foot down
- > Chrysalis has taken it upon herself to be your personal nurse
- > So you always have a thermometer in your mouth
- > She honestly thinks having a thermometer in your mouth will make you get better
- > Part of that is occasionally taking it out, looking at it, shaking her head, and then returning it.
- > She also throws a tantrum if your meal isn't chicken noodle soup
- > Sombra answers the door most times
- > It's usually one of the many mothers you've accidentally befriended at the park
- > Casseroles for days
- > The kids don't mind getting fussed over too much
- > God help any of those ara aras if they try to dote on you, though
- > Chrysalis goes full jealous, insisting she does all the nursing around here, thank you very much
- > Nice thing about being sick, you can play vidya without guilt
- > Mariocart tournaments gets pretty intense, finally you claim Peach to keep the girls from fighting over her
- > Zelda games are almost like storytime
- > The kids regularly take naps during the endless terrain crossings
- > Honestly, you aren't immune either
- > When you finally do get well, it's with a heavy heart
- > You rather like spending more time goofing around with the kids
- > Oh, and you have to return all those casserole dishes
- > Your ears ache for a "Are we there yet?" Or "I'm booored"
- > But there is no way your kids would be so normal
- > Chrysalis is floating her sticky jelly beans mere inches away from Sombra's mane, jealous of his front seat
- > Meanwhile, he is playing a nonstandard game of chess with NMM
- > Some of the pieces are from that old HeroQuest game, others from monopoly
- > The thimble is over the head of the bishop, so Sombra now controls it
- > You think
- > The next rest stop, you are going to put your foot down, Sombra really doesn't need to be riding shotgun
- > It's just another one of their weird little dominance contests
- > Which is to say, Sombra won the barbie games
- > Ice skating was super effective against veterinarian, and black death Kelly just swept the rest
- > Point is, the car is pretty quiet, except for Chrysalis's ominous giggling
- > 'Honeybug, if you put those in his hair, I will cut them out and you will have to eat them. Got it?'
- > She pouts, and pops a jelly bean into her mouth
- "Whatsh sho great about the ocean anyway?"
- > 'It's just something you have to see at least once in your life.'
- > Cheeselegs isn't convinced, but she amuses herself with making pictures on the windows out of the bugs that splatter on your windshield.
- > Sometimes, you wish you had magic, but then again, that's what child labor is for
- > You make it to the beach with minimal fuss, only a few toys thrown out the window and lost to the endless highways
- > You could only listen to Sombra's tickle-me-Elmo for so long
- > He mourns the loss of his interrogation specialist
- > Once they're out of the car, the kids are pretty happy
- > Though they do squirm a bit when you put the sunscreen on them
- > and then they're off
- > Sombra begins immediately, conscripting from the other kids on the beach
- > Chrysalis pokes at the dead crabs in the sand
- > NMM gazes at the large waves coming in with trepidation
- > You walk to her
- > 'Want to swim?'
- > She glances at you, then tentatively steps into the shallow water
- > A wave almost immediately surges past, and she scrambles back with a surprised squeak
- > You laugh and back into the water, holding out your arms
- > 'C'mon, I'll keep you safe.'
- > She hesitantly steps toward you, then dashes into your arms
- > You pick her up, and hold her tight as you go deeper into the salty water
- > Once she gets used to the bobbing surge of the waves, she relaxes her death grip on your torso
- > You pull her along by her hooves, and NMM grins as she cuts through the water
- > Before long, she's swimming on her own, and riding the waves to the beach
- > You decide to check on Sombra, only to find him resting in imperial splendor on a throne of sand and buckets
- "Welcome, dad, to the kingdom of Silica. I have much to show you."
- > Everywhere a kid is piling sand up, or digging ditches, fortifying against the inevitable high tide
- > Behind heaped up walls, a more delicate work is continuing
- > Sombra walks among his architects and artisans, leaving a compliment here, a suggestion there, and nearly bursting with pride
- > You have to admit, it is an impressive city, but you've left Chrysalis alone long enough
- > You find her in the middle of a bunch of divots in the sand, carefully drawing on a smoothed out spot
- > She sees you and beams
- "Daddy, come look at what I've found!"
- > You get to about the middle of her odd little field, and then her horn glows green
- > The putrid remains of too many crabs rise up out of the sand and start massing around your legs, struggling to climb
- > 'Son of a Bitch!'
- > The zombie crabs fall away, and your daughter claps her bughooves
- "I got another one! Dumbra is going to be so jealous!"
- > 'Just, just clean up the crabs alright?'
- > You scrub your legs in the ocean, then head for your towel
- > Chrysalis follows you, the crabs shuffling off into their holes
- > You gaze out over the water, waves dazzling in the afternoon sun
- > She settles down by you
- > 'What do you think so far?'
- > She looks down at her hooves
- "It's not so bad."
- > You smile, absentmindedly keeping an eye on your other kids
- > 'How about you go get Nighty and Somby and we'll have a nice treat?'
- " 'Kay!"
- > And off she goes
- > Several Popsicles apiece and a couple hours later, it's time to go
- > Sombra had his dramatic moment, grimly witnessing the collapse of his kingdom under the relentless waves, and crying out to the uncaring sky
- > NMM rode the cresting wave herself, tackling him off of his throne
- > Not to mention the nearly endless hours of rinsing to get the sand off and the salt out
- > Chrysalis blushing the entire time, as you poked the sand out of her Cheeselegs
- > As you drive away, the setting sun illuminates the tuckered out forms of your kids, napping on top of each other in the backseats
- > Definitely something you have to see at least once in your life.
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