Comparison of Short Stories with Insight Into Narrative Features


Narrative features are what make stories great. They give them the real life aspects to make you feel like you are friends with the characters, or even like you yourself are in the story. Both What The Ocean Eats by Kawai Strong Washburn and Things You’re Not Proud Of by Tom McAllister emphasize tremendous use of narrative features to draw their audiences in. Specifically by their use of plot and setting. The plot of the story is undoubtedly important. It determines how well the audience can follow along and understand what is happening, and also keeps the story interesting. A good plot consists of realistic characters, a complete plot structure, temporal transitions, and a believable and real, yet not cliché resolution to the story. The setting of the story is also a key to enhancing the effects on the audience. In an excellent story, the setting enhances other aspects of the narrative, such as plot, character, or theme. It should also be the most realistic place for the characters to work out their conflict based on what the problems between them are. While considering both plot and setting, I found that What The Ocean Eats does the best job of telling an intriguing, yet believable story to its audience.


When considering the plot of the stories, I began digging into which of the stories had the most realistic and developed characters. In the end, I decided that this was What The Ocean Eats. However, Things You’re Not Proud Of has realistic characters as well. In What The Ocean Eats, Pomai and her family are very driven by their culture and experiences. Her father fights for the rights of native Hawaiians and her mom is always busy with legal briefs. Pomai is an avid weed smoker which got her kicked out of both prep school and public school, so she ended up home schooled. Her father and her do not have a very good relationship due to his frequent absences in her childhood. The conflict between the two is the main situation that drives the story. In Things You’re Not Proud Of, we do not learn a lot about the two main characters other than the fact that they fight often. Mostly about the fact the he cannot have the B-named kids that his wife wants. Also about the fact that they have people living in their drain that the wife wants gone. We never even learn the main characters names.


For the complete plot structure aspect, both stories achieve this relatively well. They both have most or all of the parts of a complete story, the exposition, the conflict, rising and falling action, and the resolution. However, the story that had a more simple plot outline was What The Ocean Eats. In the story there is more of a singular story line without so many twists and turns. The first page gives some exposition into what happened during Pomai’s high school years. There is an introduction of the conflict on page 376 when she runs into her father before going surfing. She then explains in detail why there is a tension between them on pages 377-378. There is rising action as they begin to surf and then get into a heated argument about their relationship and her leaving Hawaii. She tells her father about her frustration of their situation in Hawaii by saying, “’You’re a part-time electrician. You only get paid if some haole lets you work on his house. I’m no better. You should see me smile at Sunset’s: another burger for you, sir, your joke about my ass is so funny...’” (Washburn 382). Finally, the climax appears when Pomai cuts her dad off while surfing a wave and he falls in, she then also falls victim to the wave and ends up hurt. There is a drop in action while she gets treated for her injuries. On the final page, Rylan understands that he may need to get out of Hawaii as well, and fly over the waves which are making the island smaller each day. This story has a very clear Freytag's Triangle plot. On the other hand, Things You’re Not Proud Of jumps right into the story without a lot of exposition. The introduction to the conflict occurs on the first page when they are fighting about the people in the pipes. She then leaves right away to get Drano to clean out the pipes. A rise in action begins when she comes home from the hardware store with not the Drano, but an elixir that is supposed to fix all their problems. We soon learn about a second conflict between them on page 165. The husband cannot have kids. This information leads to the climax of the story while they are pretending that they are twenty again and try to use the elixir to be able to have kids. The fall in action happens very quickly in this story due to the running out of elixir. They both fall into a depression and the husband mentions that he wants to move into the pipes. The wife will not even consider this option so she goes back to the hardware store to pick up the Drano. The resolution of the story is when she pours the bottle down the drain and they listen to the screams of the people dying, “My wife and I sit beside each other on the tub’s edge for a half hour listening to a shrieking like failing brakes... even as they’re dying I want to crawl down inside with them, to feel the burn on my skin…” (McAllister 169). Overall, both stories have a good plot structure other than the lack of exposition and the multiple conflicts in Things You’re Not Proud Of.


Going along with plot structures, the temporal transitions are what get us from event to event smoothly and have key role in the story. Both stories have at least a few clear temporal transitions that help us understand what is going on and when. In What The Ocean Eats, one of the temporal transitions is after Pomai cuts her father off on the wave and he resurfaces, “On the beach, far from the accident, Rylan surfaces” (Washburn 384). This was one of the best temporal transitions I could find, meaning that there were not many. And none of which clearly showed the timing of when the event was happening. In contrast, Things You’re Not Proud Of has a myriad of temporal transitions. One example is from page 165, “Two days later, the elixir is half gone, and we are both covered head to toe in a turgid paste” (McAllister 165). This temporal transition tells us a clear timeline of when this happened as well as what the situation is at this point in the story. In regards to temporal transitions, Things You’re Not Proud Of is the clear winner.


Diving deeper into the resolution aspect of the plot structure, it is important for a story to have a believable and real ending, while not being cliché. In What The Ocean Eats, Pomai and Rylan, her father, only look at each other from a distance, as Rylan really looks at the waves, he realizes that if he looked from above, the wouldn’t seem so big, “… he’d see a scribble of white, rolling in again, battering the island into something smaller” (Washburn 386). I think that in this moment he realizes that he too needs to leave the island to find something bigger. In Things You’re Not Proud Of, the story ends with them sitting by the tub and listening to the shrieks of the people in the pipes dying. The surprising aspect of this ending is that the man would rather be in the pipes dying than be in the relationship with his wife. This is definitely not cliché or fake, it is a real and emotional ending. I feel like the Drano was expected, but his reaction to it was not. Between the stories, I feel like the ending in What The Ocean Eats was the least predictable and most real. Rylan had to realize that he had outgrown the island he had called home for so many years. However, we never get a clear resolution between Pomai and Rylan, which makes it even more real because some things are just never resolved.


Switching the narrative feature from plot to setting, we will first dissect how the setting enhances other parts of the narrative, specifically the plot. In the first story, What The Ocean Eats, Pomai’s family is from Niu Valley, Hawaii. However, she travels to the north shore of the island to surf, this is where she finds her father. The setting connects back to the characters. Rylan is a Kanaka Maoli, a native descendant of the island. He is active in that community, which is what caused him to not have as much time for his daughter. This is one of the root causes of their problems, but is a part of their culture. The story of Things You’re Not Proud Of takes place mostly in the couple’s home and a little bit at the hardware store. The setting relates back to the plot of the story with the characters. The husband cannot have kids, so having everything take place in a home setting where the majority of couples’ fights happen makes sense. It is also logical since the wife has to be the “doer” in the relationship, that she goes to the hardware store to find a fix to their problems. Both of these stories’ settings enhance the plot and characterization pretty equally.


The other aspect of setting to talk about is if it’s a realistic place for the characters to work out their problems. In What The Ocean Eats, the setting of the island led to their conflict on the water. It also makes sense in part because one of the fights between them was that Rylan believes he taught Pomai how to surf, but she sees it differently. This discussion takes place on page 382, “‘Who taught you to surf?’ ‘I taught myself,’ Pomai says. ‘You were gone more than you were around’” (Washburn 382). This shows that the water and surfing has a significance to them. So the setting of Hawaii and surfing during their fight makes sense in the context of the conflict. In the other story, Things You’re Not Proud Of, the couple fights about fixing their relationship and each other. The setting of the house represents the family that they wanted but cannot have. It’s a logical place for them to work out their problems due to the presence of the pipes, a conflict between them. Between the two stories, I feel like both had logical settings, but What The Ocean Eats has a more exotic setting being in Hawaii on the beach rather than inside a house and at the hardware store.


All things considered, both stories were well written and exceeded my expectation in many narrative features. While closely examining the stories’ plots and settings, I have come to the conclusion that What The Ocean Eats is the best written story. This is due to realistic characters, easy to follow plot structure, believable ending, and logical setting. The biggest downfall of the story was its lack of temporal transitions. However, the story was not confusing, so it did not cause any detriment to the audiences ability to follow along. Overall, the two stories are very intriguing narratives that were a joy to read