D&D campaign 2 session 6

GRiM has connected.
Nirrti has connected.
Lampshade has connected.
Canuhearmenow has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Canuhearmenow:
Which are we loading?
Canuhearmenow:
Carceri, Tomb
Canuhearmenow:
Etc.
Lampshade:
Grass me thinks
GRiM:
i got some over shit going on
GRiM:
it's tieing up the speed
GRiM:
bear with
Lampshade:
Hai
Lampshade:
Hai
Darth GW7:
hai
Canuhearmenow:
hai
Lampshade:
I shall be pink now
DM has connected.

Elias Guillermo:
You know guys, I've been thinking about our time in the tomb...

Ahwassa:
Yeah, it sure was fun there

halfred:
CHOPS

Elias Guillermo:
And what particularly stands out was our inability to open those chests

halfred:
CHOPSSSS
DM:
And the loot you inevitably lost.
Lampshade:
About that
Lampshade:
Can we go back?

halfred:
MUTTON CHOOOOOOPPPPPSSSSSSSSS
Lampshade:
At some point

Elias Guillermo:
We need someone with the proper... Skillset around us
DM:
Go back to Carceri? Suuuure thing.

Elias Guillermo:
Especially since we're going after a proper wizard

halfred:
mutton chops

Elias Guillermo:
I am very gay

halfred:
I HAVE MUTTON CHOPS
Canuhearmenow:
That's without a doubt the most attractive Halfling I've ever seen
DM:
Canu, you only heard a rumour about the job. Not the detailsa
DM:
details
Darth GW7:
Elias' statement just now matches what canu just said
DM:
mhm
Canuhearmenow:
lol
GRiM:
anyone else had trouble logging onto SWTOR site lately?
Darth GW7:
swtor?
Canuhearmenow:
The Old Republic
GRiM:
*facepalm
Darth GW7:
oh
Canuhearmenow:
So I imagine the DM is preparing his instance sheet or something
Canuhearmenow:

DM:
My what
Darth GW7:
Is jakko here
Canuhearmenow:
Well we're just sitting here
Darth GW7:
jekko
Darth GW7:
jakko
Darth GW7:
thinie
Darth GW7:
gagjdsh
Canuhearmenow:
The Rogueish character
Nirrti:
of course not
Darth GW7:
the loveable rogue
Darth GW7:
loved by a certain wizard
Canuhearmenow:
WE GOT OURSELVES A BURGLAR
Darth GW7:
AND HE HAS MUTTON CHOPS
Canuhearmenow:
NOW LET US GO TO LONELY MOUNTAIN
DM:
We have a wizard?
Canuhearmenow:
I believe he meant Sorcerer
DM:
Ah. The inferiors.
DM:
I see.
Canuhearmenow:
Because after all those non-magically inclined fail to notice a difference until it's too late
DM:
Says the guy who just put Druids down
Jekko:
here
DM:
hey
Darth GW7:
hai
Nirrti:
he's been here the whole time :F
Darth GW7:
MUTTON CHOPPPPPPPS
Nirrti:
Darth is gay for mutton chops
Lampshade:
We all are

Xannan Hawkflight:
You're pretty small.
Darth GW7:
sensitive

Elias Guillermo:
While I admit this little group is getting a bit big... We could always use a burglar
Darth GW7:
"big"
Darth GW7:
hue

Ahwassa:
I thought stealing the loot was your job?
DM:
Really, Darth?

halfred:
oh thank you stating the obvious.

Elias Guillermo:
It is really only a fleeting thing, Ahwassa, won't happen again since I'm now a semi-permanent member of this illustrious entourage

Z'ar Kor:
He's just getting it out of his system. Take no notice.

Elias Guillermo:
What is your name, Halfling?
Lampshade:
Wait, so we just randomly met this halfling and we're like "wanna come with us"?
Canuhearmenow:
How else will we
Nirrti:
no he's an old friend of OMG'ahrs
DM:
Uh, sure. I can hardly stop a train crash in motion
Lampshade:
I know, but I expected at least something
Darth GW7:
Why don't we just make him part of the party we were going to join anyway
Darth GW7:
the one the mage was organizing
Lampshade:
That sounds plausible
Darth GW7:
He said that the mage was organizing an expedition already
Darth GW7:
halfred could just be part of it
Canuhearmenow:
So I guess we have to wait until we introduce Halfred
Lampshade:
Yep
Canuhearmenow:
Maybe he's not in the party until we actually meet up with "the rest" of the people?
DM:
Indeed
Darth GW7:
poor halfred
Canuhearmenow:
That way Halfred can come across as a badass
Darth GW7:
he'll see him soon

halfred:
OMG'ahr is that you?
Lampshade:
I'm sorry but "badass" and "halfling" don't go together
Canuhearmenow:
Make him a smart mouthed rogue that we meet as he's busy unlocking something
DM:
Can everyone roll a d20 except Jekko, btw?
Canuhearmenow:
Bilbo Baggins was badass, Lamp
DM:
No wait
Darth GW7:
and picks canu's pocket
Lampshade:
Lies
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 9
DM:
hang on
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 => 10
Darth GW7:
puc u
* Nirrti rolls: d20 => 18
Darth GW7:
phuc u
Canuhearmenow:
What are we rawling
* Lampshade rolls: d20 => 9
Nirrti:
khorne is on my side today
Darth GW7:
phuc me phuc u
Lampshade:
No idea
GRiM:
WTF i cant move my token?
Shanto has connected.
DM:
Something interesting, Canu
DM:
Shanto, roll a d20
* Shanto rolls: d20 => 17
GRiM:
finally
Darth GW7:
we're being attacked
GRiM:
now i can
Darth GW7:
by dragons
Canuhearmenow:
Does this have to do with the 1-7 thing
DM:
No
DM:
this has nothing to do with that
Lampshade:
Suure
Canuhearmenow:
DRINKING CONTeST?
DM:
Seriously, that's a whole seperate plot
Lampshade:
Can I roll sense motive on that?
Darth GW7:
Is that the one I said 4 to?
DM:
Go ahead
DM:
Sure. WHy not

Dragon:
rrerr
Shanto:
Lamp! My fair maiden
Darth GW7:
oh god
Darth GW7:
it hurts
Canuhearmenow:
So I guess the Dragon's stealing Ahwassa and raping Zar
Darth GW7:
just so you know jekko
Darth GW7:
this happens every session
Darth GW7:
EVERY.
Darth GW7:
SESSION.
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 18 + 3 = 21
Lampshade:
Hah
Canuhearmenow:
YOU WASTED A GOOD ROLL
DM:
I win
Lampshade:
IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!
Darth GW7:
what are we rolling sense motive for
Lampshade:
I was checking if the gm lied
Canuhearmenow:
Wait that was Sense Motive?
Lampshade:
DM*
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Jekko:
lol
* DM rolls: d20 + 8 => 16 + 8 = 24
Canuhearmenow:
Alright so now where is the DM leading us
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+10 => 12 + 10 = 22
Canuhearmenow:
What are we rolling?
Darth GW7:
dice
Lampshade:
I dunno
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 20 => 10 + 20 = 30
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+50 => 17 + 50 = 67
DM:
d357 + 89
Lampshade:
Big numbers!
* Canuhearmenow rolls: d0 + 69 => Invalid expression: d0 + 69.
* DM rolls: d357 + 89 => 327 + 89 = 416
GRiM:
I bought a shiny new bow while we were in town ^_^
* Darth GW7 rolls: d1905+151285 => 183 + 151285 = 151468
Lampshade:
Yay
Lampshade:
I got drunk
Canuhearmenow:
Speaking of shiny new bows
Darth GW7:
roll d1905
DM:
Stop with the big numbers, btw, they end up crashing servers after a certain point
Darth GW7:
get 183

Elias Guillermo:
Ehthos, I realize you need a better weapon, is this correct?
Darth GW7:
what if I do a negative roll
* Darth GW7 rolls: d-1 => -1 - 1 = -2
DM:
that, apparently
Lampshade:
I thought monks were unarmed
* Darth GW7 rolls: d => -1
* DM rolls: -d20 => -18
* Darth GW7 rolls: d => -100
* Darth GW7 rolls: => Invalid expression: .
* Darth GW7 rolls: d => 20
Darth GW7:
anyway
* DM rolls: 25 => 25
DM:
Alright
* Darth GW7 rolls: 1000 => 1000
Lampshade:
Stop rolling?
Nirrti:
back
DM:
So, xp time?
Darth GW7:
they see me rolling
Lampshade:
Yees
Darth GW7:
they hating
Lampshade:
haha
DM:
Darth, one more roll. Reflex.
Canuhearmenow:
aww yea
Canuhearmenow:
XP tiem
Darth GW7:
oh god I have cancer
Nirrti:
what are we rolling
DM:
nothing
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+1 => 13 + 1 = 14
Lampshade:
Nothing
Canuhearmenow:
Cancer and AIDS
DM:
right
Darth GW7:
do I have cancer?
Lampshade:
wouldn't that be fort save?
DM:
Indeed
Darth GW7:
well
Canuhearmenow:
Naw, he dodges away from the free radical that, when inhaled, causes the cancer
Darth GW7:
you know that cancer you eventually get better from?
Darth GW7:
that ain't the kind I got
Nirrti:
good
Lampshade:
Isn't that a line from Watchmen?
Canuhearmenow:
Yes
Darth GW7:
HIGH FIVE
Darth GW7:
o/
Lampshade:
I'm going to leave you hanging
Darth GW7:
o_
DM:
so, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't be bothered doing maths and decided this is as good a time as any to explain levelling up. Have 500 xp!
Canuhearmenow:
Yay
Lampshade:
yay
Darth GW7:
LEVEL UP
Darth GW7:
1140 XP
GRiM:
yay
Lampshade:
1160xp!
Nirrti:
1140
Lampshade:
I got 20xp rp bonues earlier
GRiM:
1140
DM:
Rp with Shanto, yeah.
DM:
In a tent
DM:
at night
Darth GW7:
I want an XP bonus ;-;
Nirrti:
me and canu should get XP bonus
GRiM:
i am now level 2 ^_^
Darth GW7:
me too
You have disconnected.
Shanto has connected.
Canuhearmenow has connected.
GRiM has connected.
DM has connected.
Lampshade has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Nirrti has connected.
Lampshade:
Isn't it roll the hit dice?
GRiM:
woah woah woah
GRiM:
slow
Darth GW7:
oh boy here we go
GRiM:
down
DM:
Right, we'll need to roll.
Nirrti:
HP dice?
GRiM:
slow the fuck down,son
DM:
One at a time
GRiM:
me
DM:
Okay, ranger?
GRiM:

GRiM:
yes
GRiM:
?
Darth GW7:
make this your best roll
Darth GW7:
It'll affect your character
Darth GW7:
for ages to come
GRiM:
roll what?
Darth GW7:
hit dice
DM:
I'll be kind and let you reroll if you get below 25%
Lampshade:
d8 for ranger
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
I thought you just give max possible HP
DM:
Roll a d8 + your Con mod
DM:
Nope, Canu
DM:
only at level 1
* GRiM rolls: d8 +3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Lampshade:
It's called hit die for a reason
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d4 + 1 => 2 + 1 = 3
DM:
Unless you guys would rather I went for the max?
Canuhearmenow:
There for me
Darth GW7:
Nah just roll
Lampshade:
Wouldn't that be op?
DM:
Right, you two add that to your hp total.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d10+4 => 3 + 4 = 7
Nirrti:
what's the dice for barbarian
Nirrti:
isn't it 12?
* Lampshade rolls: d8+2 => 4 + 2 = 6
Darth GW7:
Is it?
* Shanto rolls: d6+3 => 1 + 3 = 4
* Darth GW7 rolls: d12+4 => 3 + 4 = 7
DM:
yeah, Nirrti
Darth GW7:
3 again anyway
Jekko:
d6+1
DM:
Shanto, reroll
* Shanto rolls: d6+3 => 5 + 3 = 8
GRiM:
so my hp is now 18
GRiM:
cool
DM:
Darth, reroll
Canuhearmenow:
I CAN LEARN ANOTHER 0th LEVEL SPELL
* Darth GW7 rolls: d10+4 => 6 + 4 = 10
Canuhearmenow:
HUZZAH
* Jekko rolls: d6+1 => 4 + 1 = 5
Darth GW7:
that's nice
Lampshade:
Yay
* Nirrti rolls: d12+2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Lampshade:
What are you going to get?
Canuhearmenow:
But I haven't seen any performed
Canuhearmenow:
I need to see a spell to learn it
Darth GW7:
Do we automatically get full HP?
DM:
Shuddup Canu and add a spell
Nirrti:
so now i've got 24hp
Canuhearmenow:
FINE
Lampshade:
Wasn't that enfeeblement ray a lvl 0 spell?
DM:
You rested Darth, so yes.
Nirrti:
how many skill points was it
Canuhearmenow:
Mage Hand
DM:
It depends on class and race
Canuhearmenow:
I get to pick up and handle 5 lb objects
Canuhearmenow:
Time to fondle people
Lampshade:
Heh
Canuhearmenow:
Wait no
Canuhearmenow:
Perfect
Canuhearmenow:
Prestidigitation
Canuhearmenow:
I do parlor tricks while stealing money
DM:
right
Canuhearmenow:
NOPE
Nirrti:
you need a project body part spell
DM:
no feats or ability bonuses for first level.
Canuhearmenow:
DISRUPT UNDEAD
Nirrti:
if you catch my drift
Canuhearmenow:
1d6 damage to Undead
Canuhearmenow:
We are, after all, going against a Necromancer
Shanto:
I get a feat
DM:
Has everyone rolled HP?
Shanto:
For beinga monk
Nirrti:
so do i
Nirrti:
uncanny dodge
Lampshade:
So shall I get more in planar knowledge?
Darth GW7:
Right
DM:
I meant in general, not including class feats
Darth GW7:
Hjort I get a fighter feat, yes?
Lampshade:
Or something else
DM:
Yes, Darth
Canuhearmenow:
Fuck yeah
Canuhearmenow:
1 to Bluff
Canuhearmenow:
Now +10
DM:
HANG ON
Canuhearmenow:
And added one to Arcana, which gives me +2 to Spellcraft
Lampshade:
Fuck
Nirrti:
how many skill points was it
Canuhearmenow:
2
Canuhearmenow:
It's always 2
DM:
No it isn't
Darth GW7:
+INT mod
Lampshade:
No
Canuhearmenow:
Wait +INT mod?
DM:
It depends on class race and int mod
Canuhearmenow:
So I have 4?
Canuhearmenow:
I mean +3?
DM:
Canu are you human?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Canuhearmenow:
Human with a +3 Int
DM:
All humans get an extra skill point a level
Lampshade:
We do?
Canuhearmenow:
So I get... 6 skill points per level now?
Canuhearmenow:
+2 standard, +1 Human and +3 Int?
GRiM:
so how many skill points do i get?
GRiM:
to distribute
GRiM:
?
Nirrti:
-5
Lampshade:
6+int mod
DM:
Yes, Canu
Canuhearmenow:
Aww yea
Lampshade:
According to ph
Nirrti:
how many do iget
Nirrti:
*i get
DM:
Grim, you get 9
Nirrti:
i bet it's 1
Lampshade:
4+ int mod according to ph
GRiM:
ok
Nirrti:
3 then
GRiM:
does putting points in skills i have 0 in cost more?
GRiM:
or anything like that?
Canuhearmenow:
Debating if I should add my +4 to get +2 more in Dip
DM:
No, Grim
Canuhearmenow:
Or... Add it to Craft so I can make shit
Lampshade:
Heh, debating...
Lampshade:
Spend it on craft
DM:
Cross class skills cost 2 points, class skills cost 1
Canuhearmenow:
I know
Canuhearmenow:
Dip will be an uphill battle for me
Lampshade:
I could go dip
Lampshade:
Next level
Canuhearmenow:
aww
Nirrti:
what were the limits on the skill point limits
DM:
Level + 3
DM:
At level 2, 5
DM:
half that for cross class
Lampshade:
Now I have +5 in planar
DM whispers: You get 2 skill points
Lampshade:
For more encyclopedia
You whisper to DM: used them already
Canuhearmenow:
SO GUYS
Canuhearmenow:
WHAT FOR CRAFT
GRiM:
ok
GRiM:
breakdown
Canuhearmenow:
Bowmaking, Weaponsmithing
Canuhearmenow:
Armormiithing
Darth GW7:
armorsmithing
Nirrti:
my jump is now +9
Canuhearmenow:
But that wouldn't make sense for a mage...
GRiM:
+4 in jump
GRiM:
+2 openlock
Darth GW7:
you could make armour then enchant it
Canuhearmenow:
Craft lacks context for a mage
Lampshade:
What did you need to make golems?
Canuhearmenow:
I could pay someone else to do it though
GRiM:
+1 search
Canuhearmenow:
Depends on the Golem
Darth GW7:
But why would you if you could make it yourself
Jekko:
+9 open lock
DM:
+5 maximum
Canuhearmenow:
I lose XP that way Darth
Lampshade:
Wait, is Jekko 2 too?
Darth GW7:
wat
Darth GW7:
why do you lose XP
Canuhearmenow:
-1k XP per Golem made
Lampshade:
Crafting costs xp
Darth GW7:
oh god what
Canuhearmenow:
Not all crafting
Lampshade:
Well all the fun crafting does
Canuhearmenow:
Crafting, say, a masterwork cuirass is no xp loss
Canuhearmenow:
Crafting the Unholy Blade of Daemonslaying is a loss
Lampshade:
I say we hire someone to craft for us then
DM:
magic crafting requires placing an element of the creator's power inside the item
Lampshade:
Can we put someone elses power?
Nirrti:
Grim, how about a jumping contest
Darth GW7:
My base attack bonus goes up by 1, yes?
GRiM:
lol
GRiM:
ok
DM:
HANG ON
GRiM:
whoever jumps the highest gets 5gp from the other Nirrti?
Canuhearmenow:
There
Nirrti:
sure
Canuhearmenow:
+9 to Intimidate
Canuhearmenow:
Elias is a scary fucker
* GRiM rolls: d20 +4 => 8 + 4 = 12
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 16 + 9 = 25
Darth GW7:
I'll join in!
Lampshade:
Ouch
GRiM:
fuck you
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+13 => 1 + 13 = 14
Darth GW7:
oh fuck
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 9 => 6 + 9 = 15
Lampshade:
Heh
Darth GW7:
what
Nirrti:
i am now 10gp richer
Lampshade:
oh god
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 10 => 10 + 10 = 20
DM:
Has everyone sorted out their skill points?
Canuhearmenow:
Yup
Darth GW7:
zar tries to join in with the jumping contest
Darth GW7:
he braces
Darth GW7:
jumps
Darth GW7:
trips
Darth GW7:
falls flat on his face
Darth GW7:
CRITICAL FAIL
Nirrti:
pay up gents
Canuhearmenow:
You fall and accidentally enter the Abyssal Plane
DM:
Falling through all the layers
Nirrti:
so am i now 10gp richer
Canuhearmenow:
Why can't I hold all of these Septims
Nirrti:
because i sure could use the money
Nirrti:
fucking greataxe cost a shitton
Lampshade:
That they do
Canuhearmenow:
XANNAN
Canuhearmenow:
I WILL BUY YOU A SHINY BOW YES?
Nirrti:
buy me chain shirt
Lampshade:
brb bathroom
Canuhearmenow:
I can't be seen anywhere near that Shopkeeper anymore
Canuhearmenow:
... Bad things happened
Nirrti:
the minimum damage i now do is 10
Canuhearmenow:
Also congrats gents, the ghoul blood is now caked onto our weapons
GRiM:
I have a shiny bow
GRiM:
already
GRiM:
i bought one after sleeping at the tavern
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM an even SHINIER ONE!
Canuhearmenow:
O
DM:
oh yeah Grim sold the treasure
Canuhearmenow:
h
Canuhearmenow:
I need to get a good crossbow
Canuhearmenow:

Darth GW7:
How much do saving throws go up by
GRiM:
sold my ring
DM:
Grim gave his ring to an old man running a shop
GRiM:
in exchange for better overall aim
Nirrti:
Darth, check class stats
Darth GW7:
Don't see anything
GRiM:
i can share the info of the shop
GRiM:
i went to
Nirrti:
fort +3, that's it
Canuhearmenow:
Masterwork arrows and crossbow
Canuhearmenow:
+2 to attack
GRiM:
if you wanna go back and beat him up and take it?
Canuhearmenow:
I could have a TAB of +6 goddamn
Lampshade:
Shouldn't we hire the halfling for that?
Nirrti:
Canu, masterwork Greataxe, aww yeah
GRiM:
me and him are CG
Lampshade:
As a test of skill to join our group
GRiM:
we arent evil
GRiM:
one of the evil ones should persuade him
Canuhearmenow:
Don't look at me
Lampshade:
None of us is evil
GRiM:
lol
Lampshade:
I think
DM:
Canu pretty much is
Canuhearmenow:
Should I shift to LE?
Lampshade:
Yes
DM:
In time
Lampshade:
For added fun
Canuhearmenow:
Not now though
Canuhearmenow:
For now I'm a starry eyed Sorcerer alone in the world
Canuhearmenow:
Trying to find his purpose in life
Canuhearmenow:
Because Elias is clearly the innocent, valiant type
Lampshade:
Alone?
Canuhearmenow:
Figuartively speaking
Darth GW7:
RIGHT
Darth GW7:
SHALL WE PLAY NOW
DM:
NO
Darth GW7:
logistics sorted out
DM:
THERE IS MORE TO SORT OUT
Darth GW7:
FINE
Darth GW7:
PHUC U
Canuhearmenow:
NO WE'RE GOING TO JUST SIT HERE FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS
DM:
NIRRTI HAVE YOU ADDED YOUR BONUS FEAT
Canuhearmenow:
THEN SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE
Nirrti:
yes i have
GRiM:
anything else with LEVELLING?
DM:
OKAY
Nirrti:
i can now dodge uncannily
GRiM:
I ONLY DID HP AND SKILLS
Canuhearmenow:
Orcs are so uncanny
Nirrti:
YEAH YOU DIE
Canuhearmenow:
GriM you are Ranger yes?
GRiM:
yes
DM:
Darth gets a bonus feat. There is a list on page 90
Canuhearmenow:
You get +1 on your BAB
Canuhearmenow:
Add that
Canuhearmenow:
+1 to Fort
Canuhearmenow:
+1 to Ref
Canuhearmenow:
Combat Style as well
Canuhearmenow:
Archery or Two Handed
Canuhearmenow:
If you select Archery then you can auto gain Rapid Shot
Canuhearmenow:
Aka
Canuhearmenow:
YOU CAN SHOOT YOUR BOW TWICE PER ROUND
Nirrti:
shoot yourself rapidly
Canuhearmenow:
Skeet sekeet skeet
Nirrti:
in the case of Xannan
You have disconnected.
Shanto has connected.
Canuhearmenow has connected.
GRiM has connected.
DM has connected.
Lampshade has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Nirrti has connected.
Canuhearmenow:
GriM did you pick Archery?

Ahwassa:
Yeah, that's totally new *cough*
GRiM:
pick it in what way?
GRiM:
as a feat?
Canuhearmenow:
Combat Style
Canuhearmenow:
You pick either Two Handed
Canuhearmenow:
Or Archery
GRiM:
archery
Nirrti:
two handed archery
Canuhearmenow:
If you do Archery you auto-get Rapid Fire
GRiM:
damnit
Canuhearmenow:
Congrats GriM, you can shoot your bow twice per attack
GRiM:
DM never told me
Shanto:
brb

Ahwassa:
He want to keep you bad
Canuhearmenow:
Two rolls for the price of one!
Lampshade:
ops
Nirrti:
two hits on yourself for the price of one
GRiM:
YAY
Canuhearmenow:
What's your TAB now?
Nirrti:
whose
Nirrti:
mine?
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM
GRiM:
TAB?
Nirrti:
total attack bonus
Canuhearmenow:
Total Attack Bonus
GRiM:
+5 on ranged
GRiM:
+3 on melee
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
What's your Dex?
GRiM:
18
Canuhearmenow:
You have +6
Canuhearmenow:
BAB is +2 for level 2
Canuhearmenow:
And you get +4 for Dex
Nirrti:
not for all classes
DM:
for ranger
Canuhearmenow:
He's a Ranger
DM:
it is
GRiM:
also i have a +1
GRiM:
from my bow
Canuhearmenow:
So +7
Lampshade:
so +7
Lampshade:
Ouch
GRiM:
WOO
Canuhearmenow:
AND YOU CAN FIRE TWICE
Lampshade:
Now you might even hit!
Nirrti:
mine is +7 on melee
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti Cleave?
Canuhearmenow:
CLEAVE
GRiM:
can i practise a shot please?
Nirrti:
and +1 on axe
Nirrti:
so +8
DM:
Not till next level
GRiM:
with my standard arrows
GRiM:
not the cold iron poison ones
GRiM:
i have 17 standard ones leftr
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM if you get masterwork arrows you can +8
GRiM:

Nirrti:
somebody give me 2k g
Darth GW7:
Right
Darth GW7:
I think I've done everything
Darth GW7:
:V
You have disconnected.
Nirrti has connected.
Canuhearmenow has connected.
DM has connected.
GRiM has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Shanto has connected.
GRiM:
Is there anything nearby i can shoot without looking like a murderer?
Darth GW7:
yourself
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti
Nirrti:
?
Canuhearmenow:
Orcs are animals
Darth GW7:
it's not murder it's suicide
Canuhearmenow:
Not people
Nirrti:
except i'm not an orc
GRiM:
like a gable or something on the wall of the tavern?
Nirrti:
i'm only half orc
Darth GW7:
so it's half-murder?
GRiM:
lol
Nirrti:
no
Nirrti:
it's i bash your head in for fun
Darth GW7:
orcs are too slow
Canuhearmenow:
I bet if Nirrti found true love he'll become pure Human
Darth GW7:
he'd shoot you from across the room
Darth GW7:
and run away
Canuhearmenow:
Like Beauty and the Beast
Nirrti:
nope
Darth GW7:
and you'll never catch him
Lampshade has connected.
Nirrti:
30ft
Canuhearmenow:
So it's official
Nirrti:
i need that chain shirt
Nirrti:
so it'd be 40ft
Darth GW7:
everyone wants a chain shirt
Darth GW7:
:v
Canuhearmenow:
ALRIGHT LADS
Lampshade:
I got a breastplate
Canuhearmenow:
LET US GET THIS ON THE ROAD
Canuhearmenow:
Because Winter is Coming
Lampshade:
Yes!
Darth GW7:
YES!
Canuhearmenow:
I have no armor
Darth GW7:
you're naked
Nirrti:
good
Lampshade:
nub
Darth GW7:
and it's winter
Nirrti:
you will die fast
Canuhearmenow:
I have 12 AC
Darth GW7:
I have 17
Canuhearmenow:
Protect me bitches
GRiM:
i cant move tokens again
Lampshade:
I like how I have 13 ac, but I got a breastplate
Lampshade:
Loving my dex mod
Darth GW7:
LET'S PLAY
Darth GW7:
D&D
GRiM:
ok
Canuhearmenow:
You have no dex?
Lampshade:
I got 6 dex
Lampshade:
mod is -2
Canuhearmenow:
Wha
Canuhearmenow:
How
Canuhearmenow:
So you're like, an inflexible woman
Lampshade:
I had some not so good stat rolls
Canuhearmenow:
Totally yeah
Nirrti:
wait what
Nirrti:
i fucking forgot that armor class is calculated
Canuhearmenow:
LET US BEGIN THIS
DM:
You wake up
Darth GW7:
dragons fall, everyone dies
DM:
Morning sunlight streams in through the windows of the inn.
DM:
why would a dragon fall, it has wings?

Xannan Hawkflight:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN
Nirrti:
DM
Shanto:
you see Alawasa with Ehthos in the same bed, you all gasp but knew in the back of your mind that they two were meant for each other
Nirrti:
it fell asleep midflight
DM:
mhm?
Lampshade:
Dragonrend

Elias Guillermo:
*le yawn*
DM:
ah
* Xannan Hawkflight gets up to the window and looks outside
Darth GW7:
you slept with ehthos
Darth GW7:
we all slept together
Darth GW7:
giggidy
DM:
you wish
Darth GW7:
GIGGIDY
Canuhearmenow:
ALRIGHT, SO
Canuhearmenow:
We wake up
GRiM:
so are we all in the inn?
Nirrti:
do we
GRiM:
the whole part?
Nirrti:
or maybe this is still a dream
GRiM:
party?
Darth GW7:
Seven AM waking up in the morning
DM:
Make a will save to wake up
Lampshade:
lol
Canuhearmenow:
lol
Darth GW7:
gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs
Canuhearmenow:
everything is calculated
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 16 + 1 = 17
Darth GW7:
gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 6 + 4 = 10
Nirrti:
YES, I WOKE UP SUCCESSFULLY
* GRiM rolls: d20 -1 => 17 - 1 = 16
Canuhearmenow:
AWw man!
Nirrti:
it's a battle ot wake up
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 3 + 6 = 9
Darth GW7:
gotta get down to the bar keep
Nirrti:
*to
Darth GW7:
I see my friends
Nirrti:
if you roll natural 1 you die
DM:
right
DM:
new day over the town
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 3 - 1 = 2
DM:
what do you do?
Darth GW7:
I don't wake up
Nirrti:
24 HOURS REMAINING
Darth GW7:
:c
Canuhearmenow:
I...
Nirrti:
you're now braindea
Nirrti:
d
Canuhearmenow:
I...
Nirrti:
gep gun
Lampshade:
I go to the dining area to wait for the others
Darth GW7:
me too

Ahwassa:
Morning
GRiM:
BEGINNING OF THE 2ND DAY - 48 hours remain
Nirrti:
fuck you moon
Darth GW7:
but not before waking everyone up by danging my huge dragon balls in their faces
Darth GW7:
wait what
Nirrti:
but you don't wake up
Nirrti:
so that's just a dream
DM:
thank god
* Elias Guillermo wakes up and heads down stairs after putting on his slick new robe
Darth GW7:
Who's dreaming THAT?
Darth GW7:
D:
DM:
you

Elias Guillermo:
That was certainly refreshing
Nirrti:
you are

Ahwassa:
Hmm, what where you wearing in the speaker place then?
Darth GW7:
that sums up my dream yes
Lampshade:
that as ooc
Lampshade:
was*
DM:
...good to know.
Canuhearmenow:
I was wearing my slick new robes there too
Lampshade:
Just sayin

Z'ar Kor:
Nice day.
Darth GW7:
IS it a nice day?
GRiM:
brb
Lampshade:
Do we need to spot check that?
Nirrti:
spot check for nic e day
Nirrti:
*nice
Darth GW7:
spot check to see out the window
Lampshade:
Or roll for ncie weather?
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 13 - 1 = 12
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 16 + 1 = 17
DM:
what the fuck
Canuhearmenow:
THIS IS REALISTIC
Lampshade:
Doing important research here
Lampshade:
We need to know if it is a nice day
Darth GW7:
I mean we might say "Nice day" to someone without knowing that it ISN'T a nice day
DM:
IT IS ALRIGHT
Darth GW7:
and they'll get suspicious
Nirrti:
maybe their perspective of nice day is different from yours
DM:
maybe some of them dislike sunshine
Darth GW7:
nerds?
Lampshade:
Spot check for vampires?
Canuhearmenow:
Yeah, what if one of them is a Mindflayer
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 6 - 1 = 5
Darth GW7:
shit I failed
Darth GW7:
check for fangs
Canuhearmenow:
ARCANA CHECK ON THIS PLANE'S CONCEPT OF GOOD DAYS
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 9 + 8 = 17
Darth GW7:
that would be a planar check surely
Lampshade:
Thats planes knowledge!
Canuhearmenow:
Fuck
Shanto:
Have you guys gone full retard?
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
Darth GW7:
OH SHIT
DM:
it appears so Shanto
Darth GW7:
HE FAILED
Darth GW7:
WE'LL NEVER KNOW
Darth GW7:
"Hey barkeep, is today a nice day?"
Canuhearmenow:
I INTIMIDATE THE SUN INTO BEING A NICE DAY
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 9 => 1 + 9 = 10
Canuhearmenow:
I...
Canuhearmenow:
I....
Darth GW7:
CRITICAL FAAAAAIL
Nirrti:
sun has intimidated you to be sad
Canuhearmenow:
I crit failed intimidating the sun
Darth GW7:
let me try
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+3 => 19 + 3 = 22
GRiM:
SUN IS DISPLEASED
Canuhearmenow:
Does this mean...
Darth GW7:
I intimidate the sun into being a nice day
Lampshade:
Ooh
GRiM:
LASER BEAMS
Canuhearmenow:
IT'S A THREAT
DM:
There is now a small cloud following Canu about
Nirrti:
Canu is now a goth
Canuhearmenow:

DM:
Also, the sun is now hostile towards Canu

Z'ar Kor:
One of your failed experiments, Elias?

Elias Guillermo:
Failure just teaches us the incorrect paths to take, Z'Ar
* OMG'ahr heads downstairs to the main arae
Canuhearmenow:
arae?
Nirrti:
areas are overrated
DM:
Incorrect including making an enemy of the sun
Canuhearmenow:
Is that what they call these open spaces

Z'ar Kor:
Or it might just kill us outright.

Elias Guillermo:
We must make a sacrifice to the Sun God

Z'ar Kor:
I-

Elias Guillermo:
Lest it consume us in it's wrath

Z'ar Kor:
what?

Ahwassa:
What?

Xannan Hawkflight:
morning all!
Canuhearmenow:
hahaha
DM:
Pelor doesn't like sacrifices

Z'ar Kor:
Xan, have you been telling Elias weird stories again?
Nirrti:
he likes fresh meat
Canuhearmenow:
I was OOC y'all
Lampshade:
No you weren't
Canuhearmenow:

Lampshade:
We're milking all we can from this
Lampshade:
Aaand, that was it
Darth GW7:
Intimidate check on the cloud above elias to scare it away
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+3 => 12 + 3 = 15
GRiM:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 5 => 6 + 5 = 11
Nirrti:
Darth, intimidate check the floor
DM:
As you sit at the table. you hear something muttering and crawling about under it
Canuhearmenow:
OH SHIT A RAT
Canuhearmenow:
Oh wait a halfling

Z'ar Kor:
....Omg?
Canuhearmenow:
Same thing
Lampshade:
I check under the table

OMG'ahr:
What?

Z'ar Kor:
Never mind.

Elias Guillermo:
I smell a rat

halfred:
zzzzzzz
* Xannan Hawkflight draws an arrow ready to kill the vermin
Lampshade:
What skill category does smelling belong?
Nirrti:
spot check?
Darth GW7:
smell check
* Xannan Hawkflight looks under

Xannan Hawkflight:
Oh.

Xannan Hawkflight:
it's not a rat
Canuhearmenow:
We must have checks that include keeping a regular heartbeat

Ahwassa:
It's a... halfling
Darth GW7:
"Barkeep, there's a halfling under our table!"
Nirrti:
fort check for breathing

Elias Guillermo:
Oh, those things

Elias Guillermo:
Well it's added protein
* Xannan Hawkflight kicks the halfling

Xannan Hawkflight:
WAKE UP

Z'ar Kor:
Did we take his table?
DM:
"I don't care. My bar is on fire because of the sun. Get out."
* Elias Guillermo pokes the halfling with a foot

Z'ar Kor:
Delicate as always.

OMG'ahr:
Wait a minute...

Elias Guillermo:
Someone get a stick to see if it's dead!

Z'ar Kor:
Whenever you see something new, do you have to poke and prod it?

halfred:
stop that!

Ahwassa:
It?
* OMG'ahr lifts the halfling up

Xannan Hawkflight:
who are you?

Elias Guillermo:
Isn't that what you always do, Z'ar?

OMG'ahr:
I KNOW YOU

Z'ar Kor:
I-
DM:
and then gay sex ensued

Z'ar Kor:
wait, what?

Elias Guillermo:
Small multiverse

halfred:
i have bad hang over you guys are kick me!

Z'ar Kor:
Poor choice of words.

Z'ar Kor:
Very poor choice of words.

Xannan Hawkflight:
Stop knowing people!

Z'ar Kor:
Stop hitting people!

OMG'ahr:
It's not my fault!

Elias Guillermo:
What is with this party and these chance encounters?

Elias Guillermo:
Boccob preserve me...

Ahwassa:
Life wouldn't be as much without them

Z'ar Kor:
It's like there's some invisible force guiding us...
* Z'ar Kor looks at the camera
DM:
STOP IT
* Elias Guillermo looks at the camera
Lampshade:
BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

OMG'ahr:
What the hell are you doing here Halfred?
DM:
THE FOURTH WALL IS WEAK ENOUGH AS IT IS
DM:
YOU DON'T WANT TO BREAK IT

halfred:
OMG'ahr!!!?
DM:
HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE THINGS LIVE BEHIND IT.
Lampshade:
That's mean

OMG'ahr:
Yeah, that's me allright

Elias Guillermo:
Aha! This is deligh- let's get going

Xannan Hawkflight:
What the hell are you looking at?
* OMG'ahr puts the halfling down

halfred:
what are you doing here?

OMG'ahr:
Long story

OMG'ahr:
how about you?

Z'ar Kor:
Why are you sleeping under a table?

Ahwassa:
Halfling, who are you and what are you doing under our table?

Z'ar Kor:
Well, he WAS here first.

Ahwassa:
I guess that's true

halfred:
I had too much ale

OMG'ahr:
As always, eh

Xannan Hawkflight:
well at least we know theres still some spirits left

Z'ar Kor:
Xan, it's morning. You just woke up.

Elias Guillermo:
It's 5 o'clock somewhere in the Planes, Z'Ar

Ahwassa:
Why does it matter what time is it?

Ahwassa:
All times are good for drinking!

Z'ar Kor:
Actually, technically time is a complete illusion formed by our own simple minds.

Z'ar Kor:
But let's not get into that right now.

Elias Guillermo:
Of course, relativistic temporal theory, I'm surprised you know of it Z'ar

Ahwassa:
After what happened to Elias, I'd rather stay away from philosophy

Z'ar Kor:
What are you insinuating?

Elias Guillermo:
Point is Ahwassa, now's not the time

halfred:
everyone, could you please stop shouting!

Elias Guillermo:
How does a Fighter know of advanced philosophical quandaries

Ahwassa:
No

halfred:
bad hang over

Z'ar Kor:
Quandawhataries?

Z'ar Kor:
Ahwassa, can you make anything for hangovers?
Darth GW7:
magic herb woman
You have disconnected.
DM has connected.
GRiM has connected.
Lampshade has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Nirrti has connected.
DM:
On...?
Canuhearmenow has connected.
Lampshade:
on recognizing what the mage temple looks liek
Lampshade:
like
DM:
Mage temples are rare, considering the two kinds of magic don't mix well. There is no single, unifying design
GRiM:
new guy needs to make his token again
GRiM:
sry
GRiM:
now
DM:
However, they tend to be large buildings, generally tall
GRiM:
back to the amazing fun
Lampshade:
Do we see one like that then?
Shanto has connected.
Jekko:
"if you guys whant to know where the mage temple is i can show you"

Ahwassa:
Who asked you to come along?

Elias Guillermo:
Fine, let's follow the Halfling"

Elias Guillermo:
Quiet Ahwassa, we might finally get started on this quest

Z'ar Kor:
Heh, "Quest".

OMG'ahr:
Why do you care Ahwassa

Z'ar Kor:
Sounds funny when you say it like that.

OMG'ahr:
A friend of mine can tag along with me, what's it to you

Elias Guillermo:
Delving into unexplored ruins for a perverter of magic? That's questly

Xannan Hawkflight:
perverter of magic?

Xannan Hawkflight:
how?

Elias Guillermo:
Necromancy is hardly a respectable field

Ahwassa:
I don't want to trust my life on the hands of some halfling I've never seen
GRiM:
woot for IC way to catch up when i wasnt paying attention

OMG'ahr:
Well tough luck
DM:
:P

Elias Guillermo:
If it helps I can easily annihilate him with a Magic Missile

Elias Guillermo:
If he does anything stupid

OMG'ahr:
Then I shall annihilate you

Xannan Hawkflight:
I can paralyse him

Xannan Hawkflight:
with my arrows

Xannan Hawkflight:
if need be
DM:
Following Jekko?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Lampshade:
I guess so
Nirrti:
yeah he is
* Xannan Hawkflight follows
Nirrti:
he's just remaking the token
GRiM:
campaign saved
GRiM:
FYI from now on it's best if when we D&D i use my laptop to host
GRiM:
works quite well
GRiM:
for this
DM:
The halfling leads you to the tall building made of marble and iron. The door is a large stone door that rises upwards as you approach. Two voices sound out in unison - "Welcome my child."

Ahwassa:
I guess they mean you, Elias

Elias Guillermo:
Perhaps

Z'ar Kor:
I doubt they're referring to me, at least.
DM:
Entering the building, you find yourselves in a low, stone room. The only features are two doors on opposite sides of the room, each with a symbol above it. One is an eye in a pentagram, the other is an eye in a hand.

Elias Guillermo:
That's... Not good
DM:
A voice echoes from the latter door - "Come my child."

Ahwassa:
What, why?
Canuhearmenow:
Would Elias know what the Eye in Hand is
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 16 + 5 = 21
Lampshade:
religion check on both
DM:
Yes to both

Ahwassa:
So does anyone know where the mage is?

Xannan Hawkflight:
no

Ahwassa:
Because I hope he isn't in the Vecna section of the temple

Elias Guillermo:
The Pentagram in eye is Boccob, my lord

Elias Guillermo:
The Eye in Hand is familiar, but I cannot explicitly state what it means

Ahwassa:
It's the symbol of Vecna, god of necromancers

Z'ar Kor:
Who are we looking for?

Z'ar Kor:
Ah.

Z'ar Kor:
They're probably not there, then.
DM:
God of secrets, not necromancers

Ahwassa:
They could be

Elias Guillermo:
I'd suppose we'd go into the Vecna section
Canuhearmenow:
But Vecna WAS a necromancer
Lampshade:
You said necromancers
DM:
Indeed. He was a lot of things
Canuhearmenow:
he's like, THE Lich
DM:
Kord was a human, is he patron god of humans?
Darth GW7:
If we're going to kill a necromancer why would he be in the Vecna section
Darth GW7:
that makes no sense
Lampshade:
You told me he was the god of necromancers
Lampshade:
Well he could have some rivarly?
Lampshade:
To steal his powers
GRiM:
Are we attacking this thing or what?
DM:
God of knowledge and god of secrets.

Z'ar Kor:
Why don't we ask one of the... priests? Are they priests, or mages?
DM:
Nope no rivalry there
Lampshade:
I meant some other necro could want him dead
Lampshade:
For some reason or the other
* Elias Guillermo cups his ears

Elias Guillermo:
"Get out of my head!"
Lampshade:
And why the fuck are these temples built in the same building?

OMG'ahr:
Seems like Elias has finally lost it

Elias Guillermo:
That life... Is behind me

Elias Guillermo:
I am a mage of Boccob!

Ahwassa:
Getting seduced by Vecna?
* Elias Guillermo seems oblivious to everyone else
* Z'ar Kor grabs Elias by the shoulders and looks him in the eye

Z'ar Kor:
Elias. Get a hold of yourself.

Z'ar Kor:
Get control.
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 5 => 3 + 5 = 8
Canuhearmenow:
Concentration check
Shanto:
Man if a dergon grabbed me and looked at me while I was having a panic attack I'd massivly go nuts
Darth GW7:
Can I roll an intimidate check to try and snap him out of it?
Nirrti:
elias has ADD
DM:
that's a fail Canu
DM:
Yes Darth, try
Darth GW7:
Actually shanto, scaring him might shock him back into reality
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+3 => 12 + 3 = 15
Shanto:
Scaring someone having a panic attack

Elias Guillermo:
I... I...

Elias Guillermo:
What do you offer me Vecna
GRiM:
can i roll to hit to slap him upside the head ?
Shanto:
Is 1000000% not a good idea

Elias Guillermo:
That Boccob can not grant?
GRiM:
and snap him out of it?
Nirrti:
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CROSSBOW
GRiM:
?

Z'ar Kor:
Elias! Don't ask such a question!
Nirrti:
nothing

Z'ar Kor:
Snap out of it!

OMG'ahr:
Here, let me try
Darth GW7:
zar basically roars that last one
GRiM:
my head is full of fuck
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 17 + 3 = 20
Canuhearmenow:
WILL SAVE TIME
Nirrti:
intimidate
Shanto:
rrerr
Darth GW7:
Half-orc intimidate = smack across face?
Canuhearmenow:
I suppose DM rolls to counter Intimidate?
Canuhearmenow:
Or what
Nirrti:
oh yeah darth, how tall is z'ar
DM:
roll a d20 canu
DM:
this will be interesting
Canuhearmenow:
What modifier?
* Shanto rolls: d20-1 => 17 - 1 = 16
DM:
roll a d20
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 => 6
Darth GW7:
5'10 nirrti
Nirrti:
lol shorty
DM:
Nirrti slaps Canu, shocking him out of his haze
Darth GW7:
that's actually pretty tall
Nirrti:
that's short
Darth GW7:
you're just huge

Elias Guillermo:
I... What happened?
Shanto:
5'10 is huge?
Darth GW7:
no
Darth GW7:
7 foot is huge

Elias Guillermo:
I was in Vecna's gaze, it was... Interesting

Ahwassa:
You were speaking nonsense
Shanto:
I was gonna say
Shanto:
I'm 5'11 in real life
Darth GW7:
Yeah I got it from the average human height

Xannan Hawkflight:
speaking bloody gibberish you was
Darth GW7:
actually
Darth GW7:
I should be a bit taller

Elias Guillermo:
You never deal in gifts, you will demand I give something in return!
Darth GW7:
since I get bigger when I become a dragonborn
Shanto:
Xannan is a 1800's englishman now?

Elias Guillermo:
I... Am Elias Guillermo, and I will NOT get swayed again
Darth GW7:
not that important though tbh

Ahwassa:
Just how much necromancy did you practice back then?

OMG'ahr:
I can punch you again anytime
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 7 + 8 = 15
Canuhearmenow:
Arcana Check
Canuhearmenow:
For what DM said

Xannan Hawkflight:
anything useful?
DM:
no result

Elias Guillermo:
I... Cannot say

Xannan Hawkflight:
like raising skeletons?

Xannan Hawkflight:
and such?
Shanto:
religion check!

Z'ar Kor:
Xan, don't say things like that. Not right now.
* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 7 + 3 = 10
Lampshade:
For what?
Shanto:
He mentioned gods

Xannan Hawkflight:
fine, but if we are ever backed to the wall i know what i am gonna tell him to do
Lampshade:
But we already know what gods
Shanto:
I was hoping for a higher roll to maybe see if the one he mentioned
Nirrti:
maybe Shanto's a bit on the deaf side
Nirrti:
i mean ehthos
Shanto:
May like mind controlling
Canuhearmenow:
Alright guys
Lampshade:
Hmm, good point
Shanto:
Idk I've only been watching for the past 5 mins
Shanto:
lol
Canuhearmenow:
This is a huge debate in Elias's mind
Canuhearmenow:
Gonna roll

Z'ar Kor:
Anyway, let's get on with why we're here.
Nirrti:
can I punch him again
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 14 + 4 = 18
Nirrti:
this time properly

Z'ar Kor:
I'm going to assume he's in the shrine of Boccob.

Elias Guillermo:
I... Now know what I must do

Z'ar Kor:
What do you mean?
* Elias Guillermo opens the door to Boccob's section, and enters
* Ahwassa follows
* Z'ar Kor follows quickly
DM:
You climb up a flight of stairs beyond, into a large, open room filled with bookcases and desks. The sounds here are muffled, and movement is limited to the turn of a page or the dance of a quill across paper.
* Xannan Hawkflight follows
GRiM:
ooh poetic
DM:
:P
Lampshade:
Hmm
Lampshade:
Should we just yell for the fun of it

Z'ar Kor:
(Very quietly) Where will we find him?
DM:
A man with long black hair, in a loose red robe approaches. "Welcome, travellers. What brings you to Boccob's sanctum?"
* OMG'ahr Stomps loudly up the stairs

Elias Guillermo:
We seek a necromancer, for what purpose I cannot say
Darth GW7:
no we don't?
Darth GW7:
We seek a mage to kill a necromancer
DM:
"If I could ask you to stay quiet in the presence of study, sir? And I will need more information than that, bloodcaster."
Canuhearmenow:
Bloodcaster?
DM:
Heh.

Ahwassa:
Bloodcaster?

OMG'ahr:
Oh, right.
Darth GW7:
Bloodcaster?
Lampshade:
That's like a sorcerer right?
Canuhearmenow:
Yes
Lampshade:
Not Dragon age type of bloodcaster

Elias Guillermo:
I imagine you're a wizard then
DM:
"Are you truly so ignorant as to not know that sorcery is inherent, from ancestry, my dear?"
Lampshade:
Did he say bloodcaster like it was an insult?
DM:
"I am a Theurge, sir. I serve as both a mage and a priest of Boccob
DM:
No
Lampshade:
k
Canuhearmenow:
Boccob worshipper are starting to seem... Douchey
Canuhearmenow:
I bet Necromancers are bro
Lampshade:
Yep
Lampshade:
They have to be
DM:
Now?
Lampshade:
Hmm

Ahwassa:
We were told that a mage was looking for adventurers
DM:
"Ah, for the Walking Cathedral project I assume? This is where you get the whole Necromancers idea from, I suppose?"

Elias Guillermo:
I do not like the sound of that project, Theurge

Ahwassa:
Walking Cathedral?

OMG'ahr:
Sounds brilliant to me, Would be better if it was a castle, though

Z'ar Kor:
A moving castle? That would just be ridiculous.

OMG'ahr:
If by that you mean ridiculously amazing, then yes
DM:
"You know that, the closer you get to the spire, the less effective magic becomes yes? It is more powerful towards the outer edges of the Outlands."
Lampshade:
Do we know that?
Darth GW7:
Probably not
DM:
Probably not
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 12 + 8 = 20
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 11 + 5 = 16

OMG'ahr:
So it walks to the edge, blasts something and comes back?
DM:
Yeah
Canuhearmenow:
Arcana check
Lampshade:
I guess canu does

Elias Guillermo:
Of course, priest

Xannan Hawkflight:
danger?!

Elias Guillermo:
It is the nature of the neutral planes
Lampshade:
So is magic useless in sigil?
DM:
It's strange
DM:
"It works in a series of loosely defined rings, one for each power level of spell. Roughly. It is primarily to stop the deities from interfering in Sigil politics. These rings fluctuate at random intervals, impossible to predict. So some mages make their lairs in the Outlands, but give it the ability to move to prevent being caught without access to spells. Thus, the walking castles, towers and cathedrals."

Z'ar Kor:
So... It's quite common?
DM:
"Not common, but not altogether rare either."

Ahwassa:
So why does a project like this need adventurers like us?

OMG'ahr:
Ha, so there are walking castles!

Xannan Hawkflight:
thats what i'd like to know Ahwassa
DM:
"It is not the creation of one, I believe, but the scavenging of one. Kylarus can tell you more himself I think."

Elias Guillermo:
Glad you recognized that, Omg

Ahwassa:
Where can we find him?

OMG'ahr:
who's ridiculous now, Z'ar
DM:
"I'll show you to his quarters. Be careful around him, he is quite peculiar at times."
DM:
brb

Z'ar Kor:
Practical as it may be, OMG, it still sounds ridiculous to me.
DM:
back

Z'ar Kor:
I mean, do they actually physically WALK along the ground?

OMG'ahr:
Apparently you're missing the fact that it's a walking castle. walking. castle.

Ahwassa:
I'd love to have one of those
DM:
"Yes, indeed. They have legs. It's all based on arcane enhanced clockwork, I believe."

OMG'ahr:
See, see?

Z'ar Kor:
Clever, yes. But really weird.

Elias Guillermo:
There are... uses for these walking castles that are most interesting to me
DM:
"Will I show you to Kylarus?

Ahwassa:
What kind of uses?

Elias Guillermo:
With haste, Theurge

Elias Guillermo:
Not here, Ahwassa

Elias Guillermo:
I will explain once we're somewhere more suitable
Lampshade:
Too bad none of us know spells to make eavesdropping impossible
Canuhearmenow:
Can these mobile castles be transported to other planes?
DM:
He leads you through a winding maze of bookshelves, until he comes across a wooden door in the wall. You hear screaming comes from within.
DM:
Probably, Canu

Xannan Hawkflight:
that dont sound good
* Elias Guillermo readies his 5th level magic missile
DM:
The Theurge nods. "Try not to provoke him. He is unstable enough as it is."

Z'ar Kor:
..Unstable?

Ahwassa:
This sounds interesting
DM:
He knocks on the door. "Visitors! Mercenaries for the project!"

Elias Guillermo:
Oh for the love of Boccob another crazy...

OMG'ahr:
I think you'll be great friends, Elias

Elias Guillermo:
Unfortunately this tends to happen with Boccob worship
Lampshade:
Is the halfling still with us?
Darth GW7:
Why so silent jekko
Jekko:
just walking behind OMG
Darth GW7:
You can talk
Darth GW7:
Don't be afraid of us
Lampshade:
He's roleplaying a rogue!
Jekko:
im observant
Nirrti:
oh he has spoken many times
Nirrti:
he's just so tiny you can't hear him
GRiM:
getting itchy for some action
Canuhearmenow:
I GOT THE ITCH!
GRiM:
wanna shoot somethign
Lampshade:
Do we hear anything from the other side of the door?
DM:
Screaming, as I said
DM:
Make a listen check
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 9 + 1 = 10
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 19 - 1 = 18
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 18 + 3 = 21
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 2 + 1 = 3
Darth GW7:
I-
Darth GW7:
oh
Nirrti:
aww yiss
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti hears the wind
* GRiM rolls: d20 +3 => 14 + 3 = 17
* Jekko rolls: d20+7 => 8 + 7 = 15
DM:
He appears to be shouting something about a sacrifice to something called Ygorl.
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 7 + 8 = 15
Lampshade:
Religion check!
Canuhearmenow:
For Ygorl
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 11 + 5 = 16
DM:
Planar is more appropriate but whatever

Z'ar Kor:
I hope he's safe to work with.
Lampshade:
Then I get more bonus!

Elias Guillermo:
He's most definitely nsfw Zar

Z'ar Kor:
Poor man must be out of his mind.
Darth GW7:
nsfw
Darth GW7:
lol

Ahwassa:
Ygorl is the Sall lord of entropy
DM:
Sall...?

Ahwassa:
Slaad

Z'ar Kor:
Entropy?

Elias Guillermo:
That is nothing a priest of Boccob should be associating with!
GRiM:
Elias, what does Ner Ser Fer Wer mean?
DM:
good. You're a walking encyclopedia.

Xannan Hawkflight:
Elias, what does Ner Ser Fer Wer mean?

Elias Guillermo:
It is an ancienet Abyssal word referring to depravity and lust

Ahwassa:
You sure we're in the right temple? Wouldn't be my first time....

Xannan Hawkflight:
ah gotcha

Elias Guillermo:
Over time it's been shortened to nsfw

Xannan Hawkflight:
i see
Canuhearmenow:
Ygorl is a very, very bad person to be around
Lampshade:
He kinda sounds like that
DM:
Canu are you metagaming againb
DM:
again
Canuhearmenow:
No
Darth GW7:
shhh
Darth GW7:
let him have his fun
DM:
okay

Elias Guillermo:
So is this a... Fit or something?

Ahwassa:
Or is he always like that?
DM:
"He's um... always like that. He's a warlock, he draws his arcane power from sources that are interesting to say the least. We tolerate him, because he tends to produce interesting research."

Elias Guillermo:
Then how long until we can speak to him

Ahwassa:
I'm getting a bad feeling about this job
DM:
"I think it would be safe to interrupt him. Feel free to enter." He leaves hastily.

Elias Guillermo:
After you, Halfling

Halfred:
me?

Elias Guillermo:
Yes, you
Lampshade:
Throw the halfling in
Lampshade:
Nirrti
Nirrti:
well
Nirrti:
the door might get in the way
Canuhearmenow:
BLUFF
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 10 => 17 + 10 = 27
Lampshade:
Nice

Elias Guillermo:
He probably will greatly reward you for having the balls to see him first, Halfling

Elias Guillermo:
I'd go in

Z'ar Kor:
I'll go in and talk to him.
DM:
feel free to roll Sense motive

Z'ar Kor:
I don't see why you're so afraid.

Ahwassa:
Go ahead then

Z'ar Kor:
He's not going to attack us.
* Jekko rolls: d20+3 => 7 + 3 = 10

Ahwassa:
He's a crazy mage

Ahwassa:
So....

Xannan Hawkflight:
attack?
Darth GW7:
Zar opens the door and looks inside

Elias Guillermo:
Wizards tend to be... Odd
DM:
Jekko you are aware that Elias is a compulsive liar, but feel fine with trusting him for some reason

Ahwassa:
And sorcerers are not?
DM:
Also, what wizard?
Canuhearmenow:
Elias lies, persuades and threatens
Darth GW7:
Zar steps into the room
Lampshade:
And steals the loot
Canuhearmenow:
He's a silver tongued bastard
DM:
Okay
Lampshade:
Can't forget that
* Halfred knocks on the door
Lampshade:
It already opened!
Darth GW7:
he knocks on it anyway
Darth GW7:
knock on wood
DM:
hang on
Nirrti:
well, you can still knock on it
Nirrti:
to attract attention
Nirrti:
you know
Darth GW7:
the door didn't, like, disappear
Lampshade:
I don't
Darth GW7:
gawd lamp you're so DUMB
Lampshade:
I live in a cave with no doors
Lampshade:
I thought they worked like in star trek
DM whispers: The room is large. There is a mage crouched in front of a circle in the centre screaming, cutting his face with a knife. In the circle is a huge frog-like creature, looking towards the door. "Hello." it croaks.
Lampshade:
So what's the crazy mage like?
* Z'ar Kor blinks

Z'ar Kor:
Er. Hello.
Nirrti:
roll to blink
Canuhearmenow:
Zar realizes his heart is outside his body
Lampshade:
That's inconvenient
Canuhearmenow:
Halfred turns inside out and explodes
Lampshade:
That's convenient
Nirrti:
canu misplaces his brain
Darth GW7:
Is Kylarus the name of the mage
DM:
Outside the room, you hear a loud, croaky voice greet darth. "Hello. Why do you interrupt?"
Darth GW7:
:v
DM:
The screaming continues
DM:
Yes, Darth
Lampshade:
No
Lampshade:
Wai tno
Lampshade:
right
Lampshade:
forget me

Z'ar Kor:
Are you Kylarus?
* Z'ar Kor looks at the ranting and raving man
Darth GW7:
Talking to the other thing
Darth GW7:
you know
DM:
Are the rest of you entering at any point?
Lampshade:
Sure
Lampshade:
I'll follow Zar
DM:
The room is large. There is a mage crouched in front of a circle in the centre screaming, cutting his face with a knife. In the circle is a huge frog-like creature, looking towards Darth.
DM:
The mage stops screaming, and turns to look at you as Zar speaks. "My name? Who speaks my name?"
Lampshade:
Planar check on frog like thing
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 11 + 6 = 17
Nirrti:
PLANAR CHECK ALL OF THE THINGS
Lampshade:
Indeed
Lampshade:
That's my job
Canuhearmenow:
I gots Arcana

Z'ar Kor:
Mercenaries. For the... project?

Z'ar Kor:
We heard you were hunting a necromancer.

Ahwassa:
And something about a walking cathedral
Jekko:
spoting anything intresting
GRiM:
brb

Ahwassa:
And what are you doing with that Green Slaad?
Nirrti:
green salad
Canuhearmenow:
Gween Sulad
Darth GW7:
I saw that too
Darth GW7:
Green salad
Darth GW7:
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN SALAD"
Nirrti:
LEAVE THAT POOR SALAD ALONE
Lampshade:
"I HOPE YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON EATING IT"
* Jekko rolls: d20 +5 => 5 + 5 = 10
DM:
What was that?
Lampshade:
That was spot
DM:
"I need some link to Limbo. He acts as the link between me and my lord. The job, though, yes."

Ahwassa:
So what kind of job we are talking about here exactly?

Elias Guillermo:
Your lord is... That?

Elias Guillermo:
I thought it be Boccob
GRiM:
back
GRiM:
anything happen?
Canuhearmenow:
Nope
DM:
"No, no, no. I respect Boccob, but I draw power from Ygorl." The Slaad croaks and says "Hello" again. "Yes, shush. The job, I need, the job involves going to the ruins of a necromancer's walking castle and retrieving some stuff. They say the necromancer was mad. I've never, never, never met a mad mage before."

Ahwassa:
Yeah, me neither
Lampshade:
Should I roll for bluff?
DM:
no
Canuhearmenow:
That is for meeeee

Z'ar Kor:
Are the ruins still walking?
DM:
snark isn't covered by bluff

Xannan Hawkflight:
sounds interesting

OMG'ahr:
Walking ruins, ha, now that's a joke!

Elias Guillermo:
An unclaimed walking castle...

Elias Guillermo:
... This could be interesting

Z'ar Kor:
Walking RUINS, Elias.,

Ahwassa:
You wouldn't happen to know how to control these ruins, would you?

Elias Guillermo:
Sure it's not as good as it could be, Z'ar, but it can certainly be spruced up
DM:
"No they crashed. Tried to escape the spire, and fell as they left the magical deadzone. A most intriguing situation. They've been still for ages, but there have been rumours of activity coming from them."

Xannan Hawkflight:
dont get any funny ideas of turning into a super villain and making it your lair

Halfred:
this is going to be fun to find it

OMG'ahr:
Well, we could use a walking castle
* Elias Guillermo ignores Xannan

Elias Guillermo:
Anyway, let us go to this... Walking castle
DM:
"Also, you, dragon boy. Can I borrow some blood? For. For experiments?"

Elias Guillermo:
What is it's name, exactly?
Lampshade:
Do eet
Canuhearmenow:
It's a trap
Nirrti:
"some blood" drains Z'ar dry
Nirrti:
you should do it
Lampshade:
I don't care!

Z'ar Kor:
Er...
Nirrti:
roll for sense motive?
Lampshade:
Also, I say hello to the Green Slaad
Darth GW7:
Green salad
Darth GW7:
HI LETTUCE
Nirrti:
hello green salad
DM:
"The time is eleven sixty three a m.
Lampshade:
Wat
Nirrti:
i read that in hl1 vox voice
Lampshade:
Who said that?
Darth GW7:
You have been in stasis for: nine nine nine nine nine
Darth GW7:
nine nine nine nine nine
Canuhearmenow:
Wait what
DM:
"The weather today is purple. Hello, little child."

Xannan Hawkflight:
what?!

Ahwassa:
...hi
* Z'ar Kor looks at the slaad
* Z'ar Kor looks back at the mage

Z'ar Kor:
Er...

Xannan Hawkflight:
purple?

Ahwassa:
So what kind of experiments are you doing here?
Nirrti:
what color is the sky anyways
DM:
Blue
Nirrti:
spot check for sky- aww
DM:
As I said, its a nice day
Lampshade:
NICE IS A RELATIVE TERM!
Darth GW7:
Implying purple is not nice
Nirrti:
seems like the green salad is colorblind
Lampshade:
Or, you know, mad
Nirrti:
nah
Nirrti:
definitely colorblind
DM:
make a planar check if you want?
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 9 + 6 = 15
Lampshade:
For what?
DM:
Definitely mad. Slaad are the living embodiments of chaos, in the same way Archons are the living embodiments of LG, and demons of CE.
Lampshade:
Oh
Lampshade:
Evil or good?
DM:
Neutral
Nirrti:
HEYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyy
Lampshade:
Your new best friend!
DM:
"So, dragon child? Blood, or no blood?"
Nirrti:
don't be a party pooper

Z'ar Kor:
I'm afraid I will have to decline. I would prefer not to have my flesh and blood experimented upon. Please understand.
DM:
"Who said I was talking to you anyway? But the job, the job. Yes."

Z'ar Kor:
er-

Xannan Hawkflight:
job, now

Xannan Hawkflight:
tired of waiting

Xannan Hawkflight:
informatio

Xannan Hawkflight:
information

Xannan Hawkflight:
impart

Xannan Hawkflight:
now

Ahwassa:
I agree
DM:
"Yes. I need you to go investigate these ruins for me. See why they're alive with the dead again. Bring back EVIDENCE. Proof."
Nirrti:
silly hu-mans

Xannan Hawkflight:
where?

Ahwassa:
What kind of evidence?

Elias Guillermo:
We can get proof

OMG'ahr:
Would a corpse suffice

Elias Guillermo:
We could always bring the castle back
DM:
"They are in the outlands. Near Ribcage. My Slaad can teleport you there, but not back, no no no."

Elias Guillermo:
Let us be gone then!

Ahwassa:
So... we walk the castle back here?

Elias Guillermo:
Perhaps

Z'ar Kor:
Wait, what do you mean "Evidence"? Evidence of what?

Elias Guillermo:
We'll know it when we see it Kor!
DM:
"Bring back evidence. Of resurrection. Of necromantic activity."

OMG'ahr:
I thought the castle couldn't walk, since it you know, crashed

Elias Guillermo:
Repairs can be made

OMG'ahr:
Sure, but with what tools and workforce?
* Elias Guillermo remains quiet

Z'ar Kor:
Let's just focus on the task at hand, shall we?

Ahwassa:
Yes
DM:
"Okay then. Tzztlkom, will you open a portal?" "Croak."
Lampshade:
Nice name
Lampshade:
Bang your head on the keyboard?

Z'ar Kor:
Travelling by portal again?

Halfred:
this is going to end badly

Ahwassa:
Hey, what's the worst that can happen?
Nirrti:
sounds like a thraddash name, maybe

Elias Guillermo:
Don't say that, Halfling

Z'ar Kor:
Hey, portals are the only way to travel.

Elias Guillermo:
Bad things will happen

Ahwassa:
Yeah, that's my job
DM:
"Step on through. Good luck."

Xannan Hawkflight:
tally ho!

Z'ar Kor:
Um. Step through what, exactly?
* Elias Guillermo enters the portal gallantly
* Xannan Hawkflight steps through the portal
* Ahwassa steps through
Darth GW7:
wait what
DM:
Yarp
Lampshade:
Also
Darth GW7:
where's the portal
Canuhearmenow:
with a stride that says, "fuck the police"
Lampshade:
Planar check on ribcage
Darth GW7:
When did he summon a portal
* Halfred follows every one
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 7 + 6 = 13
Darth GW7:
you didn't say he summoned one
Darth GW7:
wat
Nirrti:
jump roll on jump through portal
Darth GW7:
you need a run up
Nirrti:
no i don't
Nirrti:
i'll jump without a run up
Nirrti:
as in, walk to infront of it
Darth GW7:
have fun with that
Nirrti:
and then hop through
Darth GW7:
did he actually summon a portal?
Lampshade:
Yes
Darth GW7:
I thought he was just being crazy
Lampshade:
I hope
Nirrti:
no it's just a fluke
GRiM:
new map?
Lampshade:
Otherwise we would look very silly
Nirrti:
it's actually a frame with some canvas on it
Canuhearmenow:
MAP IS READY
DM:
No, you all just walked into a wall systematically
DM:
Map is up
DM:
can you see eet?
Canuhearmenow:
I see nothing
Canuhearmenow:
Black
Lampshade:
Black
Darth GW7:
we're 100% black!
Nirrti:
I'M BLACK Y'ALL
Darth GW7:
X
Canuhearmenow:
Once you go black
Darth GW7:
there's no going back?
Canuhearmenow:
You will want an alimony check
Darth GW7:
X
Shanto:
X's everywhere
GRiM:
X's
DM:
Can anyone see anything?
Lampshade:
I think something is bugged
GRiM:
everywhere
Lampshade:
We see big red X's
GRiM:
it's streaming textures
GRiM:
but maybe it's slow
Canuhearmenow:
Halfred's picture is my reaction
Darth GW7:
areyouserious.png?
Lampshade:
haha
Shanto:
Where am I
Shanto:
=
DM:
Any luck?
Lampshade:
That's what I thought when I saw the token
Shanto:

Canuhearmenow:
OH GOD EVEN MORE Xs
Shanto:
Nope
Shanto:
Just more x's
DM:
Hrmph. Shit
Lampshade:
Castle of loads of x's
Nirrti:
texture too high resolution?
Canuhearmenow:
I can see why this place is ruined
DM:
Doubt it
Lampshade:
You might say
Jekko:
x marks the spot
Nirrti:
what are they
Lampshade:
It's an ex-castle
Nirrti:
64?
GRiM:
just paint some brown rectangles
GRiM:
and call them walls
Canuhearmenow:
This is Bowser's Castle
GRiM:
and we'll just pretend
DM:
I guess
Lampshade:
No comment on my great pun?
DM:
I'll try and get it sorted for next time
DM:
No
Lampshade:
Sadface
Canuhearmenow:
Why is Zar so weak
Canuhearmenow:
Only 14 HP
Lampshade:
Did he roll for hp?
Nirrti:
oh
Nirrti:
now it loade-
Nirrti:
well, something happened
DM:
That's someone elses stuff
Lampshade:
Brown!
Nirrti:
oh
Canuhearmenow:
THIS IS REALISTIC
Canuhearmenow:
BROWN = REALISM
Lampshade:
Haha
Darth GW7:
it's like GTA4
Lampshade:
IT'S JUST LIKE REAL LIFE!
Nirrti:
it's like gears of war
DM:
With a parting croak, you are seperated from the mad mage, and the ruins of an ancient castle. Sunlight steams down from cracks in the ceiling, and the floor is littered with rubble and bones. Two huge doors are at the opposide end of the room.

GroundTexture3 1:
I AM THE GROUND
Darth GW7:
oh god the Xs are back
Canuhearmenow:
THEY HAVE RETURNED
GRiM:
it's loading now
GRiM:
a bit
GRiM:
the X's are there
Lampshade:
spot check
Canuhearmenow:
Some X's have receded
Canuhearmenow:
Lamp roll natural 20
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 8 + 3 = 11
Canuhearmenow:
Notice the xs
Canuhearmenow:
Go mad
Nirrti:
oh hey i'll do a spot check too
* GRiM rolls: d20 +3 => 14 + 3 = 17
GRiM:
wait
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 16 + 1 = 17
GRiM:
thats not spot
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 19 + 3 = 22
Canuhearmenow:
THAT'S NOT TOBA-
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
The Barbarian is both insightful
Canuhearmenow:
AND sharp
Canuhearmenow:
What is going on here
* GRiM rolls: d20 +-1 => 6 + -1 = 5
Nirrti:
i uhh
Canuhearmenow:
Omg has consistently done well on these kinds of rolls
Nirrti:
LOOK A BIRD

Door 1:
HURR DURR I'M A DOOR
Darth GW7:
wat

Door 1:
Don't mind my brother he's a bit special
Darth GW7:
okay
Darth GW7:
let's
Darth GW7:
get on with this
Darth GW7:
shall we

Door 1:
I want your big meaty bodies to slide into my portal
Nirrti:
yes this is getting silly
Lampshade:
Stop it! This is very silly!
Canuhearmenow:
Ok
Lampshade:
Can't remember exact quote
Canuhearmenow:
Game face now
Nirrti:
too silly i think
DM:
I would like to reiterate my previous sentiment of what the shit is going on?
Lampshade:
We're waiting
Canuhearmenow:
horny/retard doors
DM:
...I see.
Lampshade:
We rolled spot
DM:
Who got highest?
Nirrti:
i think i did
Lampshade:
Nirrti
DM:
Alright. You note that the bones have been picked clean by scavengers some time long ago. Nothing valuable remains here. Nothing interesting either.
Nirrti:
way to be a buzzkill
DM:
The doors are made of stone, and stand roughly 12 feet tall. There are inscriptions on them
Lampshade:
We open the door then?
Canuhearmenow:
Can Elias read the inscriptions?
Lampshade:
Ooh, do we recognize the language of the inscriptions?
DM:
You can try
DM:
It's Abyssal
* Elias Guillermo ponders the language of the inscriptions
DM:
Canu, it seems like it should make sense, but it doesn't.

Xannan Hawkflight:
any luck?

Elias Guillermo:
I recognize this! But...

Elias Guillermo:
But...

Z'ar Kor:
But...?

Elias Guillermo:
It's gibberish

Z'ar Kor:
...I see.

Elias Guillermo:
It's either an ancient dialect, or something
Lampshade:
Is it magical text?

Elias Guillermo:
But it makes no sense at all
Lampshade:
As in, can you read it with read magic?
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 9 + 3 = 12

Z'ar Kor:
Maybe the text has worn away in time.
Canuhearmenow:
Decipher script roll
Nirrti:
yeah i got it
DM:
ok

OMG'ahr:
Well, it seems like there's more than, what do you call it, abyssal there
Canuhearmenow:
They're words of power, I bet a Dragonborn would see some words glow
DM:
question
Lampshade:
And some chanting
Canuhearmenow:
yes?
Lampshade:
Yes?
Nirrti:
yes
Lampshade:
No?
DM:
continue
Canuhearmenow:
?seY
DM:
heh

OMG'ahr:
I think, I think there's some common in there too, backwards it seems
Canuhearmenow:
Do I decipher what it says with my roll?
Canuhearmenow:
Or anything?
DM:
No, Canu
Darth GW7:
Do I recognise any words?

Ahwassa:
What does it say?
Nirrti:
yeah, figured, just didn't seem necessary
DM whispers: how are you reading it

Ahwassa:
And can the abyssal be backwards too?
You whisper to DM: Uh. Just reading it? Don't know how else I can read it

OMG'ahr:
maybe? I dunno
Lampshade:
I try to open the door

OMG'ahr:
there seems to be a third language in there, too

Z'ar Kor:
How are you recognising all these different languages?
DM:
It says "From the throne of Orcus to the Seven Heavens, all meet the same fate. Pray for entry to the lord of the dead."
DM:
Different alphabets
Nirrti:
Spot check
Darth GW7:
oh
Nirrti:
because of it
Lampshade:
I try to open it
Lampshade:
Is it locked?
Canuhearmenow:
RELIGION CHECK
DM:
It doesn't budge to a simple push.
Canuhearmenow:
LORD OF THE DEAD

OMG'ahr:
Anybody speak uh, celestial?
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 5 + 5 = 10
Lampshade:
Me
Canuhearmenow:
I DO

Xannan Hawkflight:
nope
Lampshade:
Religion check
* Z'ar Kor pushes against it, trying to force it open
Lampshade:
I rolled

Halfred:
no
Lampshade:
And has anyone tried "Mellor"?
Lampshade:
Or whatever it was...
Canuhearmenow:
Mellon

Elias Guillermo:
Mellon!

OMG'ahr:
well it seems like there's some of that in it, too
DM:
Lots of lords of the dead. Kelmevor, Orcus, Malgrim, Nerull, Wee Jas.
Darth GW7:
Is that a strength check to try and force the door open?
DM:
It would be
Lampshade:
I can't select my token
Nirrti:
if it's a strength check
Nirrti:
lemme try
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+3 => 10 + 3 = 13
Darth GW7:
welp
Darth GW7:
doubt that'll do
Canuhearmenow:
I pray to Orcus
* Nirrti rolls: d20+5 => 5 + 5 = 10
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
Doors gone
Nirrti:
:|
Shanto:
Am I there as well?
Shanto:
Btw?
Darth GW7:
Doors disappeared
Darth GW7:
suddenly TWO DOORS
DM:
yeah Shanto
Lampshade:
Then they came back
Darth GW7:
great job guys
Nirrti:
transdimensional doors
Darth GW7:
now there's twice as many doors to open
Shanto:
I can roll strength as well
Shanto:
Can we like combine our roll?
DM:
mhm
Canuhearmenow:
Oh my god a puzzle
Darth GW7:
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED
Canuhearmenow:
We not good puzzle
* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 19 + 3 = 22
Lampshade:
I pray to the god of orcus
Lampshade:
For the lulz
Darth GW7:
nice roll
Canuhearmenow:
ZAR USE FUS
Shanto:
Kay so
Shanto:
Is the door open?

Z'ar Kor:
FUS RO DA
Nirrti:
Shanto where's Ehthos
Shanto:
Idk
Canuhearmenow:
FUS ROH, D'awwww!
Shanto:
Not on the map
DM:
Try strength checks if you want
Canuhearmenow:
Force Balance Cute
Shanto:
I did
Shanto:
I rolled a 22
* Lampshade rolls: d20+1 => 4 + 1 = 5
Lampshade:
I got a 5
DM:
Oh
Canuhearmenow:
Aww
Darth GW7:
of course the woman would get a 5
Canuhearmenow:
-4 Str
Darth GW7:
just stand back princess
Darth GW7:
let the men handle this
Lampshade:
Don't make me come there
DM:
Shanto forces the door open. It opens with a slow creak at first, before flying back with a crash
Lampshade:
Yay
* Jekko rolls: d20 -1 => 18 - 1 = 17
DM:
The corridor beyond is dark
Lampshade:
No puzzle!
Lampshade:
I got light prepared
Nirrti:
puzzle was use shanto on door
Lampshade:
So 20 minutes of light for us
Shanto:
*Ehthos flexes
Nirrti:
lamp, dark vision

Ehthos:
Whimps

Z'ar Kor:
Good work. You'll be ripping lids off chests in no time.
Canuhearmenow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T_8xBUDHXs
DM:
Apply force on object, overcome friction. Physics based puzzles
Lampshade:
haha
Lampshade:
Anyways
DM:
how far out does the light extend?
Lampshade:
I cast light on...

Ehthos:
I have torches btw
Lampshade:
My unlit torch?
Nirrti:
DARKVISIOOOOOOOON
DM:
What would the point in that be, Lamp?
DM:
Why not light the torch?

Z'ar Kor:
I have a lantern
Canuhearmenow:
Etheral light
Nirrti:
because woman logic
Lampshade:
Damnit, I prepared a light spell and I shall use it!

Elias Guillermo:
Let us continue then!
Lampshade:
nah, I'll light the torch
Nirrti:
cast it on your face

Z'ar Kor:
I light my hooded lantern and lead the way
Darth GW7:
uh
Darth GW7:
well
Canuhearmenow:
Where do we load now
Darth GW7:
that was IC
Shanto:
Anyway take me with you guys, glad I could help
Darth GW7:
but OOC
Shanto:
Back to my report
Darth GW7:
you know what I mean
Darth GW7:
I love how shanto just ducks in
Nirrti:
well, i gotta go take the dog out in a min
Darth GW7:
solves a puzzle for us
Lampshade:
report on what?
Darth GW7:
then ducks out again
DM:
The corridor stretches on some ways, before appearing to open up into a larger room
DM:
Feel free to make spot checks.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 4 - 1 = 3
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 16 + 3 = 19
Canuhearmenow:
Halfling do you smell traps?
Darth GW7:
welp
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 17 + 1 = 18
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 11 + 3 = 14
Darth GW7:
WHAT DO YOUR HALFLING EYES SEE
DM:
I'll let you do it now AFTER the others have walked into the room already this once
* Jekko rolls: d20 +5 => 7 + 5 = 12
Darth GW7:
we're not used to traps
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
or having someone who can defuse them
Lampshade:
Although I feel we're going to be soon
DM:
The light hints at a slight raised area in the ground here
Darth GW7:
ow

Z'ar Kor:
Hold on, the ground is different here.

Elias Guillermo:
Stepping on that would be most unwise

Z'ar Kor:
It's a trap!
Nirrti:
well, i'm gonna go take the dog for a walk in 10 mins
Canuhearmenow:
YUP, THAT"S GROUND ALL RIGHT
Lampshade:
right
Darth GW7:
we all crowd up against the trap
Nirrti:
I WILL JUMP OVER IT
Darth GW7:
WHAT DO WE DO
Darth GW7:
WHAT DO WE DO
Nirrti:
JUUUUUMP
Darth GW7:
THERE'S A TRAP IN FRONT OF US

Ahwassa:
Halfling, can you disarm this thing?
Canuhearmenow:
Step around it
Jekko:
search for traps

Ahwassa:
Assuming it's a trap
DM:
search roll
Canuhearmenow:
Can we step around it?

Z'ar Kor:
Why don't we just move around it?
* Jekko rolls: d20 +6 => 16 + 6 = 22

Z'ar Kor:
We could use it to our advantage, now we know where it is.
Nirrti:
then another trap

Z'ar Kor:
It's not exactly sporting behaviour, luring enemies into traps, but you never know.

Ahwassa:
I imagine whoever made this trap also knows where it is

Elias Guillermo:
if intruders enter o- this castle, this could stop them

Z'ar Kor:
Can you determine the nature of the trap?
DM:
The trap's wiring seems to lead to various slots in the walls of the corridor. Yes, it's a trap.
Lampshade:
Does it extend from wall to wall?
Jekko:
disable trep
Lampshade:
Crit fail
DM:
yes. and go ahead
Lampshade:
gonna be that

Halfred:
yea its aterp

Elias Guillermo:
Wait Halfling!
Darth GW7:
aterp

Halfred:
*trap
Nirrti:
it's a aterp

Elias Guillermo:
We could keep this here

Elias Guillermo:
No need to disable it
Lampshade:
If he rolls a crit
Lampshade:
wait nvm
* Z'ar Kor carefully examines one of the slots, trying to determine the nature of the trap
DM:
disable device roll if you want.
DM:
Search check Darth
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 20
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Darth GW7:
beautiful
Shanto:
You disable all devices
Shanto:
in the world
Nirrti:
you now know how to replicate the trap in perfect fashion
Darth GW7:
it was a search check
Canuhearmenow:
Darth sees forever
Darth GW7:
I find a shiny penny
Canuhearmenow:
Does this mean he's able to find it's "Off" mechanism
DM:
The trap appears to consist of a series of blades that would swing from the wall and make the corridor virtually unpassable
Canuhearmenow:
Or, better yet, "You are not an intruder:
Canuhearmenow:
"

Z'ar Kor:
Hmm. On second thoughts, maybe we should disable it.

Ahwassa:
It's that bad?

Elias Guillermo:
But why? We can step around it's activation

Z'ar Kor:
Yes, but what if someone DOES come and set it off?

OMG'ahr:
Just disable the damn thing

Elias Guillermo:
Fine! Fine

Ahwassa:
I agree, we should disable it
Jekko:
disable trap

Z'ar Kor:
This whole corridor will be blocked off by a spinning death trap.

Xannan Hawkflight:
we could use it again maybe

Elias Guillermo:
But I'm going to be over here
Nirrti:
natural 1, it activates and we all die
* Jekko rolls: d20 +9 => 10 + 9 = 19
Canuhearmenow:
Nice
Darth GW7:
thank fuck for that
Lampshade:
Not bad
DM:
You fiddle with the trap, and hear a sharp clicking noise.
Nirrti:
it has a dead man's switch

Z'ar Kor:
Is that... good?
Nirrti:
if the pressure plate is disabled it activates
Lampshade:
That doesn't sound good
Shanto:
I'll be in the other room guys
DM:
The holes in the wall seal over.

Z'ar Kor:
That's good.
* Elias Guillermo breathes a sigh of relief

Ahwassa:
Looks like it was good
DM:
50 xp for the party for disarming the trap

Elias Guillermo:
Waste of a trap

Halfred:
there we go
Darth GW7:
GUYS
Darth GW7:
GUYYYYYS
Darth GW7:
GUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSS
Darth GW7:
WE SOLVED A PUZZLE!
DM:
Trap, not puzzle
Nirrti:
use rogue on trap
* Elias Guillermo giggles with glee
* Halfred walks other end off the hall
* Z'ar Kor applys gentle pressure to the pressure plate with his foot, just to make sure
DM:
Nothing happens
Nirrti:
TRAP ACTIVA- oh come ooooon
Darth GW7:
I gtg for dinner
Darth GW7:
Someone else can control me if they like
Canuhearmenow:
Nooooooooo
Darth GW7:
or just go with it
Lampshade:
What
Darth GW7:
I'll be back in a bit
Darth GW7:
:v
Canuhearmenow:
Let's see what happens next
Canuhearmenow:
I mean
Canuhearmenow:
Load next area
Lampshade:
You risk all of our lives then go "brb"
Nirrti:
well, i gotta go take the dog for a walk
Canuhearmenow:
Not necessarily continue it
Lampshade:
oh
Nirrti:
like, around 20-30 mins
Lampshade:
10 min break?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Nirrti:
so 10 mins won't cut it
Nirrti:
for me atleast
Lampshade:
slightly longer break?
DM:
brb for a sec guys
Canuhearmenow:
BReAK TIME!
Jekko:
eating time
DM:
ah, I see. Alrighty
GRiM:
fine
Nirrti:
well, brb in 30some mins
DM:
k
Canuhearmenow:
Can you load the next area thing DM?
Canuhearmenow:
Just so it's ready?
DM:
I'm doing that just now
Canuhearmenow:
kk
Canuhearmenow:
Vorpal necklace
Canuhearmenow:
Best assassination device ever
Shanto:
What's the next xp to level
Shanto:
?
DM:
3000
Lampshade:
3k
Darth GW7:
back
Canuhearmenow:
back
DM:
who's still away?
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti
GRiM:
heere
Darth GW7:
guys
Darth GW7:
mak a snerty
Lampshade:
snerty?
Canuhearmenow:
What is appropriate music for this situation
DM:
elevator muzak
DM:
while we wait
GRiM:
yawn
Jekko:
back
DM:
hey
DM:
Quick question - would it be unfair to pit a party of level 3.6 against a CR 15 monster?
Lampshade:
Probably
Canuhearmenow:
Well
Canuhearmenow:
Not probably
Canuhearmenow:
If you give us environmental ways to damage it
Canuhearmenow:
Such as the classically mentioned Dragon vs. Ballista idea
DM:
Interesting idea.
DM:
I will keep it in mind.
Canuhearmenow:
Would give us buttloads of XP as well
Canuhearmenow:
We may level up twice here lads
Shanto:
brb punching dragons
DM:
Is that what you call it?
Shanto:
Hahaha
Canuhearmenow:
Reminds me of a thing I got in another Session on level 1
Canuhearmenow:
Some sort of random elemental fire power that granted me 10d100 x CHA bonus
DM:
heh
Canuhearmenow:
I could've one shotted an Elder Wyrm
Canuhearmenow:
Or an Overgod
Canuhearmenow:
A Tarrasque would just die immediately
DM:
Of those 3, though, only the Elder Wyrm stays dead
Canuhearmenow:
Yea
Canuhearmenow:
CR 25 or so creature from a level 3 party?
Canuhearmenow:
That's quite a bit of XP
Canuhearmenow:
And the loot!
GRiM:
WANT STUFF TO DO

Elias Guillermo:
Let's talk about our feelings
DM:
GO DO YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SO IMPATIENT
Lampshade:
I believe that might be what he is doing right now
GRiM:
i cant go anywhere   I'm hosting
Canuhearmenow:
lol
Jekko:
lol
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti walk fasterrrrrr
DM:
gonna do some rolling while we wait
DM:
don't mind me
* DM rolls: 1d6 + 4 => 2 + 4 = 6
Nirrti:
back
* DM rolls: d6 + 4 => 2 + 4 = 6
Lampshade:
haha
Darth GW7:
6
DM:
hey good timing
Darth GW7:
6
Darth GW7:
get another 6
Darth GW7:
you demon
* DM rolls: d6 + 4 => 5 + 4 = 9
DM:
sorry
Nirrti:
ffs you tards
Nirrti:
it's 616
Nirrti:
not 666
DM:
I know
DM:
669
Nirrti:
what am i to roll
DM:
nothing at the momen
Lampshade:
Nothing
DM:
moment
* DM rolls: d6 + 4 => 3 + 4 = 7
* DM rolls: d6 + 4 => 3 + 4 = 7
* DM rolls: d6 + 4 => 5 + 4 = 9
DM:
ffs
DM:
okay
DM:
everyone here?
Darth GW7:
not 669
Darth GW7:
just 69
Darth GW7:
hueheuehuehu
DM:
Darth, are you 12?
Nirrti:
yes he is
Darth GW7:
i am fo years ol
DM:
explains a lot
Canuhearmenow:
fo and a haf!
Nirrti:
fo years he's been fo years
Canuhearmenow:
Alright gents, care to tally-ho?
Lampshade:
Let us continue!
DM:
Is everyone here?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Lampshade:
yes
GRiM:
yay waiting on hold for swtor support at bioware XD
GRiM:
i'm ready
Nirrti:
lol biodegradedware
GRiM:
SWTOR is damn good but i wanna throttle their web designer
Lampshade:
How similar is it to WoW?
Nirrti:
carbon copy
Nirrti:
harhar
Darth GW7:
swtor?
Lampshade:
harhar
Lampshade:
Yes
GRiM:
the good parts are similar
GRiM:
the bad parts arent copied
Nirrti:
and then there's the bad parts, which is the game
Canuhearmenow:
Bioware certainly knows how to turn a good thing into crap
Nirrti:
jk, just the animations
Darth GW7:
woah
Darth GW7:
that's... a weird design
DM:
You enter a huge, cavernous room. Large pillars, carved with faces of various demonic figures, line the sides of the room. In the centre of the room is a huge cavern, where the floor collapsed long ago into a large pit. The sound of clacking bones brings your attention to several skeletons surrounding the pit.
Canuhearmenow:
What is....
Lampshade:
Big black thing?
Nirrti:
IÄ IÄ
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 17 - 1 = 16
Darth GW7:
Spot check
Lampshade:
YEEES!
Lampshade:
Is it combat?
DM:
Spot checks everyone
GRiM:
skele
Canuhearmenow:
INITIATEIVE
Canuhearmenow:
INITIATIVE
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 6 + 3 = 9
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 16 + 1 = 17
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 12 + 3 = 15
Canuhearmenow:
Spot
* GRiM rolls: d20+4 => 12 + 4 = 16
* Shanto rolls: d20 + 3 => 10 + 3 = 13
Darth GW7:
wait guys
Darth GW7:
the dm has to say
GRiM:
initiative
Darth GW7:
"Roll intitiative"
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
that's what we play D&D for
Darth GW7:
to hear those two words
Lampshade:
But that was spot
Nirrti:
INITIATE
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
DM:
Yeah, you fucks, I have to say Roll Initiative
Canuhearmenow:
Before combat begins
DM:
shit
GRiM:
say it then
Canuhearmenow:
Can I cast Mgae armor
Canuhearmenow:
Mage*
DM:
no
Lampshade:
Aww
Canuhearmenow:
Why not
Nirrti:
you can vast void pants
Lampshade:
I wanted my magic stones
Shanto:
Okay I'm fine for you to let us re-roll
Canuhearmenow:
Combat has not initiated
Nirrti:
*cast
DM:
did you prepare it in the corridor before entering the room filled with murderous inhabitants?
DM:
because, otherwise, no.
Canuhearmenow:
Uhh
Lampshade:
...yes
Canuhearmenow:

Darth GW7:
METAGAME
DM:
Who got the highest spot roll?
Darth GW7:
I DARE YOU
Canuhearmenow:
I don't need to prepare spells
Canuhearmenow:
I did
Canuhearmenow:
17
Darth GW7:
I got 16
* Jekko rolls: d20 +5 => 5 + 5 = 10
DM:
The pit gives off a faint blue light, which illuminates the whole room.
Jekko:
im blind
Lampshade:
Shanto is blind
Lampshade:
He got 1 at spotting a while back
DM whispers: There is something moving down there, manically.
Shanto:
Blind monk
Shanto:
Opened the door for you
Shanto:
bitch
Lampshade:
Lee Sin

Elias Guillermo:
There's something down there!
* Z'ar Kor nods
Shanto:
Exactly

Ahwassa:
Is it big and dangerous?

Z'ar Kor:
I can't make it out, but something is definitely moving down there.

Xannan Hawkflight:
something to kill?

Elias Guillermo:
No idea
Nirrti:
DERGON
DM:
Roll initiative

Z'ar Kor:
This whole place stinks of evil.
Canuhearmenow:
SKELETAL DERGON
Darth GW7:
YES
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Shanto:
Can we see each skeleton?
Darth GW7:
OH YESS
* Lampshade rolls: d20-2 => 7 - 2 = 5
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+1 => 7 + 1 = 8
Darth GW7:
NO
Darth GW7:
OH NOOO
* GRiM rolls: d20 +4 => 4 + 4 = 8
GRiM:
shit
Darth GW7:
CURSE YOU DICE
Nirrti:
the fuck you guys rolling
Nirrti:
oh
* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 15 + 3 = 18
Nirrti:
initiative
Canuhearmenow:
I gots me a 10
Darth GW7:
FUCK YOU SHANTO
Lampshade:
Does rapid shot affect throwing?
GRiM:
fuck you shanto
* Jekko rolls: d20 +3 => 7 + 3 = 10
Darth GW7:
Do we surprise them?
Shanto:
You guys are shit at rolling today
GRiM:
it's not a skill
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Lampshade:
Does rapid shot affect throwing? Important question
Darth GW7:
Wow guys
Canuhearmenow:
No
DM:
um
Darth GW7:
10 10 10 8 8
Lampshade:
aww
Nirrti:
he who rolled highest base number is first
Nirrti:
and so on
Nirrti:
on same numbers
Darth GW7:
No
Darth GW7:
Highest mod
Nirrti:
or was it vice versa
Nirrti:
because i'm pretty sure it's highest base
Darth GW7:
Highest modifier
DM:
no, its mod
Canuhearmenow:
+2 here
Nirrti:
+2
Darth GW7:
Hjort
Lampshade:
-2
DM:
mhm?

Halfred:
+3
Darth GW7:
Were the skeletons looking at the pit
DM:
No
Darth GW7:
:C
DM:
The skeletons were talking with one another
Lampshade:
They can talk?
Nirrti:
okay, jekko goes before me and canu, canu, we gotta roll to see who goes first
Darth GW7:
...talking?
Lampshade:
They have no tongue!
Darth GW7:
you mean clacking
Darth GW7:
?
Darth GW7:
click click clack
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 3 + 2 = 5
Canuhearmenow:
I rolled a 5 against what
Shanto:
Er
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 16 + 2 = 18
Darth GW7:
AHAHAHHAHA
Canuhearmenow:
Lol

Skeleton Warrior 2:
Should I warn the master?
DM:
Nirrti what was that?

Ahwassa:
No!
Darth GW7:
that was to see who went first
Darth GW7:
out of him and canu
Nirrti:
we rolled again to see who goes first
Canuhearmenow:
BLUFF
Nirrti:
so jekko, me, canu
Nirrti:
and before us whoever
Lampshade:
Oh god
Lampshade:
do it
Canuhearmenow:
I ROLL BLUFF TO GET THEM TO SEE US NOT AS A THREAT
Nirrti:
intimidate
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 10 => 2 + 10 = 12
Darth GW7:
DO IT
Darth GW7:
fuck
Canuhearmenow:
..
Nirrti:
"WE'RE NOT A THREAT"
Lampshade:
...
Darth GW7:
....
Darth GW7:
I ROLL BLUFF TOO
Canuhearmenow:
...
Lampshade:
You got a +10 to bluff and fail?
Nirrti:
can i intimidate them to see us not as a threat
DM:
Shanto, Jekko, Nirrti, Canu, Grim, Darth, Lamp
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 6
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
FUCK
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 6 + 3 = 9
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 11 + 3 = 14
Darth GW7:
EVERYONE ROLL BLUFF
Shanto:
Why are we rolling?
Nirrti:
KHORNE WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME SO
Lampshade:
No idea
Darth GW7:
nah jk

Skeleton Warrior 2:
But we have been told to destroy all intruders.

Ahwassa:
You sure?

Elias Guillermo:
We are not intruders, we are guests
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 13 + 5 = 18
Nirrti:
i was rolling intimidate
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 10 + 5 = 15
Darth GW7:
if those are their initiative rolls
Darth GW7:
we're fucked
Nirrti:
nope
Lampshade:
Aren't undead immune to intimidate?
* Shanto rolls: d20 - 1 => 1 - 1 = 0
Shanto:
LOL
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 1 + 5 = 6
Darth GW7:
oh wow shanto
Darth GW7:
what was that
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Shanto:
That was my bluff
DM:
Just pre-emptive
Darth GW7:
they crit failed to
Darth GW7:
too*
Darth GW7:
two crit fails in a row
Shanto:
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Nirrti:
Shanto just bluffed himself
Darth GW7:
it's beautiful
Darth GW7:
No, he tries to bluff, but ends up telling the truth instead
Nirrti:
and believes it to be bluff
Nirrti:
and as such is now delusional
Darth GW7:
that's it I'm out of here
Nirrti:
cya later shitlord
Lampshade:
wat
Darth GW7:
zar killed himself
Nirrti:
good riddance
Shanto:
gg guys
Darth GW7:
whumph
Darth GW7:
LOL JUST KIDDING
Canuhearmenow:
WE GOT THIS Y'ALL
GRiM:
woo

Skeleton Warrior 3:
Would you have us betray our master?
Lampshade:
stop moving darth
GRiM:
got through
GRiM:
on my call
Darth GW7:
loving the wave formation
GRiM:
woop
Darth GW7:
oh god what
Darth GW7:
why am I fat
Lampshade:
Who's doing that?

Elias Guillermo:
It would be betrayal to harm us, we are guests
Darth GW7:
I called hjort fat the other day
Darth GW7:
It really upset him
Darth GW7:
but I thought the insult would bounce off him

Skeleton Archer 1:
You say guest, we say intruder.
DM:
:P

Elias Guillermo:
Do we look like intruders?
Lampshade:
We need a jedi mind trick spell
Shanto:
I already failed the bluff
Nirrti:
JEDI CLASS

Z'ar Kor:
(quietly) Wrong thing to say, Elias...
Lampshade:
And that is a very silly class
Shanto:
They know everything
Lampshade:
Nirrti, Darth and Droids
Nirrti:
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Jedi_Knight_(3.5e_Class)
Canuhearmenow:
DIP ROLL?
Darth GW7:
These aren't the dergs you're looking for

Skeleton Warrior 3:
You came in here, destroyed our possessions and bring your holy light into our home. How are you NOT intruders?
DM:
go ahead
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 5 => 4 + 5 = 9

Z'ar Kor:
Destroyed your possessions?

Z'ar Kor:
We didn't destroy any possessions.
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god

Ahwassa:
The trap...
Canuhearmenow:
Outnumbered and the Dice Gods hate us

Z'ar Kor:
What are you referring to?
Lampshade:
Dude, they're skeletons
Darth GW7:
GODDAMNIT LAMP SHUT UP
Shanto:
Outnumbered?
Lampshade:
And I got turn undead
Darth GW7:
D:

Skeleton Warrior 3:
We would ask you to leave. We don't want this to turn violent.
Canuhearmenow:
I got Disrupt Undead
Shanto:
There's 3
Lampshade:
Turn undead is much cooler
Shanto:
and too many of us
Canuhearmenow:
I CAST GHOST SOUNDS
Lampshade:
And imagine, the one time I don't have entropy shield
Canuhearmenow:
TO CONFUZZLE THEM
Lampshade:
We get ranged enemies
Nirrti:
ghost sounds in the pit
Canuhearmenow:
No no
GRiM:
ok
Canuhearmenow:
Ghost sounds of intruders coming from the north
GRiM:
i am less distracted now
GRiM:
we fighting?
Canuhearmenow:
But I kid
Canuhearmenow:
No ghost sounds
Lampshade:
Let's just fight

Z'ar Kor:
(To party) I don't think there's any way around this.
Canuhearmenow:
LET US DO THIS

Xannan Hawkflight:
All the better
Shanto:
Okay we fight now?

Ahwassa:
I guess we have to resort to the other kind of diplomacy...
DM:
Shanto, you're first

Xannan Hawkflight:
I want to see if my new bow was worth the coin
Shanto:
And you guys can stop being silly
Lampshade:
NEVER!
Nirrti:
shanto
Nirrti:
not there
Nirrti:
i can get there but nowhere else
Nirrti:
actually nevermind
Nirrti:
i can get next to it
Shanto:
I can only get to there as well
Shanto:
lol
Shanto:
I was behind you
Lampshade:
I thought you had sick barbarian move
Nirrti:
yeah, 30ft in medium armor
Shanto:
Okay so I attack
Nirrti:
40ft in light
Nirrti:
and i'm wearing medium
Lampshade:
I got only 20ft
* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 11 + 3 = 14
Darth GW7:
you can attack on diagonal
Canuhearmenow:
We're dooomed
DM:
Roll for damage
Darth GW7:
orly
* Shanto rolls: d6+1 => 5 + 1 = 6
Canuhearmenow:
orly?
DM:
orally?
Darth GW7:
yeah
Darth GW7:
olga orly
Shanto:
Again btw?
DM:
Mhm
Shanto:
For flurry
DM:
go ahead
* Shanto rolls: d20 => 4
Shanto:
oh well
Darth GW7:
o
Shanto:
I will never land my other fist
Shanto:
ever
Nirrti:
it disappears into thin air
Canuhearmenow:
That's because one hand is stronger then the other
Canuhearmenow:
Due to constant use
Lampshade:
And we can all guess why
DM:
You punch the skeleton in the skull. It staggers backwards, clearly shocked.

Skeleton Warrior 1:
I thought we could settle this peacefully!
Shanto:
Yeah all the time he spends with Ahwassa
Shanto:
shocked
Nirrti:
guys should i use power attack
Lampshade:
Do you remember that time I bitchslapped Elias?
Shanto:
I cast thunderbolt
Nirrti:
-4 from attack rolls, to +8 to damage
DM:
Darth, what's your health btw?
Canuhearmenow:
I still remember that
Canuhearmenow:
It hurt

Z'ar Kor:
I really do hate this. All the skeletons we've fought have been extremely pleasant to fight.

Z'ar Kor:
*pleasant individuals
* Skeleton Archer 1 attacks darth

Ahwassa:
I don't remember that
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 6 + 2 = 8

Skeleton Archer 1:
Shit

Elias Guillermo:
We hate doing this jus tas much as you, skeletons

Ahwassa:
I guess we have different views on what is "pleasant"

Elias Guillermo:
I pray you find peace in the next life
* Z'ar Kor blocks the arrow with his shield while talking to ahwassa

Z'ar Kor:
Those other skeletons in the tomb? They APOLOGISED to us.
Canuhearmenow:
Casual
* Skeleton Archer 2 attacks Elias
Nirrti:
look at all the fucks he's giving

Skeleton Archer 2:
Who are you to speak of a next life?

Z'ar Kor:
And thanked us for a pleasant fight.
Canuhearmenow:
Oh dear
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10

Skeleton Archer 2:
ah well
Canuhearmenow:
HE MISSES

Ahwassa:
They slashed Ethtos with a sword!
* Elias Guillermo ducks and dodges the arrow

Ahwassa:
How in any way is that pleasant?

Z'ar Kor:
It's not their fault! They have to obey their master!
Nirrti:
yeah guys i'm going power attack, -2 from attack rolls, but +4 to damage rolls, aww yiss
Canuhearmenow:
Why

???:
Ah ah ahha haaa haaaa haaaa! Make them pay!
Nirrti:
because damage

Z'ar Kor:
It's like a-
Lampshade:
Because he is going to miss anyway

Ehthos:
Can we not argue the ethics of skeleton killing!
Lampshade:
So it doesn't matter

Elias Guillermo:
WHo's turn is it!

Z'ar Kor:
...uh, you know, I think we have bigger problems to be worrying about.
Nirrti:
lamp, even with -2 i have +6 to attack roll

Ahwassa:
I agree with Ehthos

???:
Hehe, mine mine mine
Canuhearmenow:
Good GOD
Lampshade:
Who's turn?
Darth GW7:
hmm
Darth GW7:
Can you push enemies as an attack?

Xannan Hawkflight:
back
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Canuhearmenow:
Bullrush

???:
Boo
GRiM:
back
Nirrti:
jekko's turn
GRiM:
sry
Shanto:
Darth!
Lampshade:
What is that?

Z'ar Kor:
Ah!
GRiM:
my turn soon?
Shanto:
Sparta kick him
Shanto:
In to the pit
Lampshade:
Planar check!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 12 + 6 = 18
Nirrti:
hey, it was jekko's turn
Darth GW7:
That was completely my intention, shanto :3
Darth GW7:
Although if this guy managed to just appear right in front of me
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god what is that thing
* DM rolls: d20 + + 3 => 1 + 3 = 4
Lampshade:
oh it was?
Darth GW7:
I dunno if it'll work
Shanto:
I hope it's a crit or a crit fail
Darth GW7:
It might be able to fly
Canuhearmenow:
Hahaha
Darth GW7:
or climb
Canuhearmenow:
CRIT FAIL
DM:
Can everyone make a will save?
Canuhearmenow:
DM you made crit fail
Canuhearmenow:
For what
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 20 - 1 = 19
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 11 + 6 = 17
Darth GW7:
CRITICAL SUCCESS
Darth GW7:
HELL YES
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 17 + 4 = 21
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 2 + 1 = 3
Nirrti:
:|
Lampshade:
oo...
Lampshade:
Shit
Canuhearmenow:
Of course Nirrti suffers a low will
Nirrti:
cya later shitlords
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 15 + 2 = 17
Canuhearmenow:
But wait DMs roll was a crit 1
Darth GW7:
the half-orc, weak-willed?
Darth GW7:
:V
DM:
That was for attack
Lampshade:
Maybe it was something else
DM:
this.
DM:
this isn't an attack.
Canuhearmenow:
oh
DM:
who has still to roll?
Darth GW7:
It's probably fear
Lampshade:
What is it then?
Nirrti:
RAGE
GRiM:
roll for what?
Lampshade:
Haha, Omg is the only one getting feared
DM:
will save
Lampshade:
That's just so hilarious
GRiM:
i didnt roll
Darth GW7:
d20-1
Lampshade:
well roll
Darth GW7:
grim
GRiM:
for whatever this is
* GRiM rolls: d20 -1 => 1 - 1 = 0
GRiM:
shit
Darth GW7:
oh my god
Canuhearmenow:
...
Lampshade:
...
Darth GW7:
...
Nirrti:
lmao
Lampshade:
You're fucked
Darth GW7:
you're boned
DM:
And SHanto?
GRiM:
if it's fear i'll crap myself
Darth GW7:
JUST LIKE SHANTO
Nirrti:
damn
Darth GW7:
good times
Nirrti:
i should've gone rage
Nirrti:
+2 to will saves
Darth GW7:
would'nt have made a difference
Shanto:
???
Shanto:
What
Shanto:
What
Nirrti:
could've
Darth GW7:
d20+1 shanto
* Shanto rolls: d20+1 => 12 + 1 = 13
Darth GW7:
wait
Lampshade:
Roll d20+4
Darth GW7:
waitwaitwait
Darth GW7:
His should be better
Lampshade:
he hasn't got his badse there
Darth GW7:
yeah
Lampshade:
he has +4
Darth GW7:
Monks get good saves
Lampshade:
so 16
Canuhearmenow:
So 16
DM:
okay, good to know
Shanto:
Yeah
Shanto:
16
Lampshade:
Put your base saves on your sheet
Darth GW7:
same for you grim
Nirrti:
so has jekko made his turn now
Lampshade:
for clarity
GRiM:
base saves?
Lampshade:
They're on the ph
Darth GW7:
You should have base 3 like me I think
Lampshade:
on ranger
Darth GW7:
Base 3 fort

???:
Ahaha, the skies the skies the skies are on fire the flowers are BLOODY redredredredgreeeeeen
Darth GW7:
Ranger and fighter are the same
GRiM:
havent got my ph on here
DM:
Jekko?
Lampshade:
+0 to will

Z'ar Kor:
oh gods this thing is mad
GRiM:
tell me the ranger one
Darth GW7:
+3 to fort
Darth GW7:
That's it
Lampshade:
yeah
Lampshade:
no will
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 7 + 8 = 15
GRiM:
where do i write that?
Canuhearmenow:
Arcana check on it
Darth GW7:
Next to saving throws
Darth GW7:
In the "Base" column
DM:
It's a religion check that's needed
GRiM:
i have that
GRiM:
already
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 6 + 5 = 11
Canuhearmenow:
fuck
GRiM:
mine is 3
Darth GW7:
Oh
Lampshade:
Good enough?
Darth GW7:
You haven't saved it then
Darth GW7:
Never mind
DM:
nope
GRiM:
was always there
Jekko:
shoot whit crossbow skeleton archer 1
DM:
maybe when you find out what it does
DM:
okay
* Jekko rolls: d20 +5 => 2 + 5 = 7
Canuhearmenow:
...
Darth GW7:
:c
DM:
The bolt flies into the pit
Darth GW7:
"ow!"
Canuhearmenow:
Well guys it was nice playing with you
Darth GW7:
"watch what you're firing down here"
Canuhearmenow:
I wonder what the next session will be
Shanto:
I wish I had spring attack
Nirrti:
is it my turn?
Shanto:
D=
Lampshade:
Goddamnit Jekko I was going to move there
Darth GW7:
I think so nirrti
Darth GW7:
You then canu?
Nirrti:
welll theeeeeen
Nirrti:
yeah
Darth GW7:
Then grim then me?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Darth GW7:
grim what was your init?
Lampshade:
Then me
Darth GW7:
I think it was grim then me
Darth GW7:
yeah
Canuhearmenow:
Magic Missile is force damage
Canuhearmenow:
Right
Canuhearmenow:
So it pushes people
Canuhearmenow:
Archer is at edge of pit
* DM rolls: 2d4 => 6
Darth GW7:
now you're fucking with portals
* DM rolls: 2d4 => 4
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
THINKING
Darth GW7:
:V
Lampshade:
What were those rolls?
Canuhearmenow:
Death
Darth GW7:
damage
Darth GW7:
for the people who failed saves
Darth GW7:
at a guess
DM:
Rounds
DM:
for the people who failed saves
Lampshade:
What did they get?
Darth GW7:
oh... oh dear
Shanto:
Raped
Darth GW7:
^
DM:
Hypnosis
Canuhearmenow:
NO
Lampshade:
Oh
Darth GW7:
.......
Canuhearmenow:
OH GOD NO
Lampshade:
They're against us then?
Darth GW7:
oh........ oh dear.........
Shanto:
You are now a chicken
Shanto:
gj
GRiM:
who is against who?
Darth GW7:
by osiris and isis, you are a boar, yes, a boar. by osiris and isis, you are a boar.
Lampshade:
Is that from Asterix?
Canuhearmenow:
So we lost Nirrti and GRiM
Canuhearmenow:
FANTASTIC
Lampshade:
Yap
* Xannan Hawkflight starts scowling at the others with a crazed look
Darth GW7:
Yes, lamp! It is!
Darth GW7:
HIGH FIVE
Darth GW7:
o/
Lampshade:
I knew it!
Lampshade:
\o
* Xannan Hawkflight raises his bow pointing at the halfling or the skeleton, noone is quite sure...
Darth GW7:
Me --> o/\o -- Lamp
Lampshade:
That was so obscure reference....
Darth GW7:
we're such asterix nerds
Lampshade:
Been like 10 years since I saw that cartoon...
* Xannan Hawkflight lowers his arm
* Xannan Hawkflight sits on the ground and unwraps some rations and starts munching
Lampshade:
right
Darth GW7:
okay
Nirrti:
well, it's your turn canu
DM:
mhm
Canuhearmenow:
I cast Mage armor
DM:
heh
Lampshade:
That's it?
Darth GW7:
"heh"?
Darth GW7:
OH GOD
Darth GW7:
RETCON THAT
Darth GW7:
RETCON
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
DM:
go ahead
Canuhearmenow:
Do I also get an attack?
Darth GW7:
I still have my retcon
Darth GW7:
:3
Canuhearmenow:
Or just using Mage Armor
DM:
that is your attack
Nirrti:
I'M GOING TO RETCON MY WILL SAVE ROLL
Lampshade:
Yep
Nirrti:
jk
Darth GW7:
Gonna save it till the final battle
Lampshade:
I guess you can move
Darth GW7:
"I retcon the final boss being born!"
DM:
you can if you want Nirrti
Canuhearmenow:
There
Canuhearmenow:
Done
Nirrti:
nope
GRiM:
saving my retcon too
Nirrti:
not gonna
GRiM:
useless here
DM:
okay.
DM:
Darth?
Canuhearmenow:
Who's turn now
Nirrti:
i'm out for only 6 turns guys
Lampshade:
Yeah, that's not a long time at all
DM:
Grim's out for 4 I think
Darth GW7:
Can I make an attack to deliberately force them backwards into the pit?
DM:
It's flying
Darth GW7:
oh
Darth GW7:
that's bad
Nirrti:
he should've gotten the longer one because he rolled 0
GRiM:
so i dont have an attack?>@
DM:
It gets worse
Darth GW7:
oh man
Lampshade:
How often is the hypnosis cast?
GRiM:
just do nothing for 4 turns
GRiM:
?
Canuhearmenow:
It's incorporeal isn't it
Darth GW7:
in that case
Darth GW7:
I bring my flaming longsword of draconic justice down on its head
GRiM:
ok
Darth GW7:
ATTACK ROLL
Darth GW7:
DUN DUN DUUUUUN
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+6 => 16 + 6 = 22
Canuhearmenow:
DO IT
Canuhearmenow:
YES
Lampshade:
YES!
Canuhearmenow:
KILL THE FUCKER
Darth GW7:
attacking ???
Darth GW7:
just so you know
Darth GW7:
with the attack bonus of +6 (???(
Darth GW7:
the damage of 1d8+3(???)
Darth GW7:
Special properties being (???)
Darth GW7:
we really need to find out what this sword does
Lampshade:
Is the DM there?
Canuhearmenow:
DM is gone
Darth GW7:
rocks fall, DM dies
Canuhearmenow:
He's dead, Jim
DM:
brb a seck
Darth GW7:
secks
Nirrti:
DM had a heartattack
Nirrti:
and died
Darth GW7:
fire alarm?
Lampshade:
I hope nt
Lampshade:
not
Lampshade:
Such a tense situation!
Canuhearmenow:
Should I use Magic Missile next, or Disrupt Undead
Darth GW7:
oh wait
Lampshade:
Which one is more damage?
Darth GW7:
My roll should have been +7
Darth GW7:
Since my base attack bonus went up
DM:
Darth roll for damage btw
Nirrti:
can anyone hypnotize
Canuhearmenow:
Disrupt Undead is 1d6 but a ranged touch attack
Darth GW7:
shall I roll again
Darth GW7:
:3
Nirrti:
you should totally hypnotize me not to listen to it
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+3 => 8 + 3 = 11
Canuhearmenow:
Magic missile is guaranteed hit 1d4+1
Darth GW7:
OH WOW
Darth GW7:
MAXIMUM DAMAGE
Lampshade:
Well I have protection from law that should protect from hypnotize
Darth GW7:
I'm on a roll
Lampshade:
But it doesn't dispel it
Darth GW7:
(it won't last)
Darth GW7:
Oooh
Darth GW7:
My breath weapon should have a longer range now
DM:
The sword sears through the fimly skin of the creature. It cries out in agony, and then begins to babble again.
Darth GW7:
Forgot about that completely
DM:
Lamp, it isn't lawful
Canuhearmenow:
Wait, how much damage for the fire
Lampshade:
It still protects
Lampshade:
It protects against all forms of mind control
Canuhearmenow:
It got... Like, 14-15 damage and is still going?
Canuhearmenow:
Jesus
DM:
although, you can make another religion check
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 8 + 5 = 13

Z'ar Kor:
Why are you so LOUD?! Argh!
DM:
hm
* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 18 + 3 = 21
Shanto:
That was for relgion check
Canuhearmenow:
YES
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Canuhearmenow:
Fuck
Lampshade:
Lol
Shanto:
religion*

???:
OUT OF CHEESE ERROR. MELON. MELON. MELON. REDO FROM START.
Lampshade:
ok, what the fuck is that thing?
Canuhearmenow:
It's a computer
Lampshade:
I mean that's the creepiest enemy yet
Nirrti:
HEY KID
GRiM:
cheese?
Nirrti:
I'M A COMPUTER
Shanto:
slaad
Nirrti:
STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADING
DM:
Shanto, this creature is an allip, the spirit of someone inflicted with a great madness who then took their own life. It seeks revenge on those it percieves as its tormentors which, from its twisted point of view, is all life. It is constantly babbling in a way that can damage the psyche of those surrounding it. Interestingly, it lacks a corporeal body.
Lampshade:
Is it undead?
GRiM:
ah
Canuhearmenow:
Welp, I know what I'm hitting with my magic missile
* DM rolls: d100 => 17
Shanto:
wow
Canuhearmenow:
WhAT WAS THAT
Lampshade:
That can't be good
DM:
hey darth, roll a d100
Shanto:
That's low as fuck for a 100 roll
DM:
darth?
Shanto:
crit roll it man
Shanto:
crit roll!
Darth GW7:
a d100?
Darth GW7:
oh wow
* Darth GW7 rolls: d100 => 61
Darth GW7:
that's a C
Darth GW7:

DM:
Good to know. The sword did indeed hit
Darth GW7:
not the best omen with A-levels looming
Darth GW7:
61%
Lampshade:
What
Darth GW7:
D:
Lampshade:
What kind of roll was that?
Canuhearmenow:
That's a D-
Darth GW7:
No it's not?
Darth GW7:
90% = A*, 80%, A, 70%, B, 60%, C
Canuhearmenow:
Pfft
Lampshade:
Who's turn is it now?
Canuhearmenow:
You and your silly British grading system
Canuhearmenow:

Lampshade:
Mine?
Darth GW7:
How is it silly
* Skeleton Warrior 1 attacks shanto
Darth GW7:
:v
Darth GW7:
anyway it varies depending on how good the paper is
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 2 + 1 = 3
Shanto:
gg
Lampshade:
hah
DM:
:D
Canuhearmenow:
Oh wow
Darth GW7:
poor skellies
Darth GW7:
can't get a hit
Lampshade:
How many hit die do these guys have?
Shanto:
Darth
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 5 + 1 = 6
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Shanto:
You're gonna get raped
DM:
:P
Darth GW7:
No i'm not
GRiM:
lolol
DM:
Lamp, go ahead
Darth GW7:
Are there mechanics to pick people up

Elias Guillermo:
We're certainly willing to negotiate, my fair undead compatriots, if we were to discontinue combat
Darth GW7:
and throw them
Darth GW7:
I asked this already didn't I
Darth GW7:
but you didn't answer
Lampshade:
I cast turn undead

???:
Potato Tomato I DEMAND SILENCE
GRiM:
it's not your round is it?
Lampshade:
it is
GRiM:
oh
GRiM:
i thought it was darths then me
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 13 + 2 = 15
Nirrti:
but you're hypnotized
DM:
Oh yeah Grim what are you doing?
Lampshade:
Oh it was his turn?
GRiM:
i am going to attack...
GRiM:
err
Canuhearmenow:
I thought Grim can't though
Lampshade:
I thought you were munching the rations
Canuhearmenow:
Due to hypnosis
GRiM:
not all turn
GRiM:
i'm not completely incapacitated as i though
GRiM:
thought
Lampshade:
What can you do?
Darth GW7:
Grim you should have been before me
Darth GW7:
I think you lost your turn
DM:
he can hit those threatening his friends
Darth GW7:
Due to hypnosis
GRiM:
i will attack the warrior attacking shanto
DM:
he should, but I'll let him go
Canuhearmenow:
Skeleton Warrior 3
Nirrti:
so he gets to go
Shanto:
Oh god
Canuhearmenow:
?
Nirrti:
but i can't
Nirrti:
that's unfair
Nirrti:
and ii
Shanto:
He's gonna hit me
* GRiM rolls: d20 +7 => 12 + 7 = 19
Nirrti:
*i'm out for 6 rounds
DM:
Nirrti, I said you could
Nirrti:
you said i couldn't move
DM:
You can't move to attack those not attacking people you're friendly with
DM:
That's your party and the Allip
Lampshade:
Allip?
Nirrti:
well you should've said that properly
Nirrti:
you said "actively move to attack any undead"
DM:
Sorry. Take your turn after Grim
Shanto:
The guy next to darth

???:
Me
Lampshade:
oh right
GRiM:
ok did you calc my roll yet?
GRiM:
i did it already
DM:
it's a hit
DM:
only 1 attack?
Canuhearmenow:
You can do two
Lampshade:
Ye
GRiM:
ok and 2nd
DM:
-2 to both though
Shanto:
Oh god
Shanto:
He's gonna hit me
DM:
It'd be Jekko he'd hit firstly
Shanto:
He'll somehow
Canuhearmenow:
Well that's fine
Shanto:
hit me
Nirrti:
jekko is small though
Lampshade:
Shoot the archers
Lampshade:
They're bad
* GRiM rolls: d20 +5 => 11 + 5 = 16
DM:
Both hit
Shanto:
damage roll!
GRiM:
minus 2 on the other hit since that was 19 and it's 17 and 16. not bad
Canuhearmenow:
Two damage rolls
GRiM:
2 damage rolls?
GRiM:
ok
* GRiM rolls: d8 => 8
Lampshade:
ouch
* GRiM rolls: d8 => 4
Canuhearmenow:
Jesus
GRiM:
Fuck yeah
DM:
+?
Nirrti:
but since the allip is threatening darth
Lampshade:
no + I think
Nirrti:
can i move in to attack it
DM:
+2 total
Canuhearmenow:
I didn't think Ranged does that
DM:
from the bow?

Xannan Hawkflight:
HA! I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING BUT THIS BOW IS AMAZING

Elias Guillermo:
We need to charm Xannan more often
GRiM:
i thought that was calculated in the attack rolls

Ahwassa:
That's so reassuring
DM:
The arrows hit the skeleton, sending it reeling backwards in a pile of bones and rused armour.
Lampshade:
Same
DM:
Fair point
GRiM:
we talked about it earlier
GRiM:
canuhearme
Canuhearmenow:
Wat
GRiM:
walked us through it
DM:
Nirrti, take your belated turn
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Nirrti:
attack with power attack
GRiM:
did i kill it?
DM:
penalty to hit
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Lampshade:
yes
Nirrti:
with -2 from attack, to +4 in damage
DM:
yes grim
DM:
mhm
GRiM:
HEEELSSS YEAAAH
* Nirrti rolls: d20+6 => 4 + 6 = 10
Lampshade:
eep
Canuhearmenow:
Fuck
DM:
Your axe swings in an arc over the skeleton's head. Perhaps your fascination with the Allip's chanting has damaged your aim?
DM:
Lamp, you got 15 on turn undead yes?7
Lampshade:
Yep
Lampshade:
So what happens?
Lampshade:
I can turn my level +1
Lampshade:
so 3
DM:
You turn 3hd of undead
Darth GW7:
3HD total?
Lampshade:
How many do the skellies have?
Darth GW7:
Or every undead up to 3HD?
Darth GW7:
uh
Darth GW7:
as in
Lampshade:
I do another roll now
Darth GW7:
every undead that has less than 3HD
DM:
the closest to you
Lampshade:
2d6+lvl+cha mod
DM:
skeleton first then allip
Lampshade:
is the amount of hit die
GRiM:
ok i just gotta subtract my arrows XD
Lampshade:
I should turn
Lampshade:
according to ph
DM:
oh, ok
Darth GW7:
that's quite a lot
* Lampshade rolls: 2d6+2+2 => 5 + 2 + 2 = 9
GRiM:
18 arrows left
Lampshade:
9 hit die
Lampshade:
How many does the allip have?
Darth GW7:
A cleric may attempt to turn undead a number of times per day equal to 3 + his Charisma modifier. A cleric with 5 or more ranks in Knowledge (religion) gets a +2 bonus on turning checks against undead.?
Lampshade:
not enough knowledge
Darth GW7:
Or is this a spell
DM:
You don't affect the allip
Darth GW7:
You get it as an innate ability
Lampshade:
it's a special attack
Lampshade:
page 160
Lampshade:
So how many skellies do I turn?
Darth GW7:
Oh wait
Darth GW7:
Sorry
Darth GW7:
THat was how many TIMES you can turn undead
Lampshade:
Yep
Darth GW7:
I read it wrong
Canuhearmenow:
So whose turn is it now
Lampshade:
How many hit die does one skeleton have?
DM:
heh, so as I read this Lamp
DM:
Since you can't affect the Allip it is overlooked entirely
DM:
yes?
Lampshade:
yes
Lampshade:
so only skellies
Lampshade:
worth of 9 hit die
Lampshade:
and if they have only one
DM:
heh
Lampshade:
They get destroyed
Lampshade:
so how many do they have?
Canuhearmenow:
Woah
Lampshade:
Awwww yeah
Lampshade:
Everything dies!
Canuhearmenow:
ROCKS FUCKING FALL
Canuhearmenow:
Everything dies
GRiM:
WTF happened? XD
Nirrti:
so, DM
GRiM:
i look away for 2 mins
Lampshade:
I turned undead
Canuhearmenow:
Turn Undead happened
GRiM:
and everything dies

Z'ar Kor:
Why do I always end up feeling guilty when we fight skeletons?
GRiM:
lol
Nirrti:
since the allip is threatening darth, am i allowed to attack it
DM:
The light of Kord fills the room, engulfing everything in it. A chorus of screams fill the air as the undead rejoin the earth.

Xannan Hawkflight:
because you hurt the master...
Shanto:
Hahahahahahaha
DM:
Shanto?
DM:
Also, holy shit.

Ahwassa:
So what was that you said about them outnumbering us earlier?
Shanto:
Idk I just imagined him shouting and using an intimidate

Elias Guillermo:
I was... Certainly wrong about you Ahwassa

Xannan Hawkflight:
Guys, give him a chance

Xannan Hawkflight:
he could be afraid

Z'ar Kor:
I don't think he's capable of BEING afraid, to be quite honest.

Ehthos:
He's a spirit, you cannot calm the dead

Allip:
Batteries taste like spelljammers. All praise the bountiful Neogi the blue blood is running eggs and I will KILL KIll killkilkillkillkilkillkillkil
DM:
Shanto, your turn

Elias Guillermo:
What is a 'battery'

Z'ar Kor:
Poor thing is quite insane.

Xannan Hawkflight:
praaaise Neogi
Shanto:
Okay

Ahwassa:
Xannan, snap out of it
* Shanto rolls: d20 +4 => 20 + 4 = 24
Darth GW7:
NICE
* Shanto rolls: d20 +2 => 9 + 2 = 11
Lampshade:
Yeaaah!
DM:
HAHAHA
Lampshade:
one more
DM:
OH MY GOD
DM:
DO YOU KNOW
Canuhearmenow:
Now we're going to fight a Hellfire Wyrm right
Darth GW7:
uh
Darth GW7:
oh god
* Shanto rolls: d6+6 => 1 + 6 = 7
* Shanto rolls: d6+6 => 5 + 6 = 11
DM:
HAHA
DM:
SHANTO
Darth GW7:
oh god
Darth GW7:
oh god
Darth GW7:
oh god oh god oh god
DM:
I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS
Lampshade:
What?
Darth GW7:
ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod
Lampshade:
Oh god
DM:
but do you know what the word incorporeal means?
GRiM:
rocks fall
Canuhearmenow:
Shanto just undeaded the Allip right
Nirrti:
he can't hit it because it doesn't have corporeal body?
Nirrti:
hahhaaha
Lampshade:
hahahhahaa
GRiM:
lol
Darth GW7:
aaaah
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
No
Shanto:
But
Darth GW7:
But I can
Shanto:
crit
GRiM:
why didnt he think
Nirrti:
SHANTO IS SHADOWBOXING
GRiM:
?
Shanto:

Darth GW7:
Because magical weapon
Canuhearmenow:
Roll 1d100 DM
Darth GW7:
Right?
DM:
Nope
Canuhearmenow:
And then Shanto rolls 1d100
DM:
It isn't magical
Canuhearmenow:
Fuck
Shanto:
Ah
Darth GW7:
wait what
Shanto:
np
Canuhearmenow:
HIS FISTS ARE MAGIC
DM:
Masterwork =/= enchanted
Shanto:
Your sword
Shanto:
Is magical
Darth GW7:
but
Darth GW7:
we did detect magic
Darth GW7:
and it was magical
Lampshade:
What was?
Darth GW7:
it's ON FIRE
Shanto:
My hands aren't
DM:
That's why it hit
Lampshade:
Your weapon is magic
Darth GW7:
what
Lampshade:
Not his
Darth GW7:
I was talking about my weapon
Shanto:
Wait everyone shush
Lampshade:
You hit
Darth GW7:
yeah
Darth GW7:
That's what I said
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
"I hit because my weapon is magical"
Canuhearmenow:
So I guess we just go between those who can cast spells or use magic weapons now
Lampshade:
yeah
Canuhearmenow:
Who's turn is it
DM:
Your fists pass through the cloak that is the Allip's skin.
Shanto:
I can be moral support!
DM:
Allip's turn

Ehthos:
Go guys go!
Lampshade:
Cheerleader
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 2 + 3 = 5
Darth GW7:
ahwassa should be cheerleader
Darth GW7:
nice short skirt
Darth GW7:
mmmm
Canuhearmenow:
Oh my god
Lampshade:
I just killed a room full of undeads
Canuhearmenow:
All the enemies
Canuhearmenow:
Failed to hit
Canuhearmenow:
Anything
Darth GW7:
have they done any damage at all?
Canuhearmenow:
Noe
Lampshade:
Nope
DM:
nope
Canuhearmenow:
Nope*
Darth GW7:
apart from hypnosis
Darth GW7:
but no hitpoint damage
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Darth GW7:
Canu?
DM:
This was meant to be a Very Hard encounter as well
DM:
:P
Lampshade:
Haha
Lampshade:
Turn undead ftw
* Allip flees
Darth GW7:
canu's turn I-
Darth GW7:
ah
Canuhearmenow:
WAIT
Lampshade:
sonofabitch
DM:
Darth, attack of opportunity
Canuhearmenow:
I cast my 5th level magic missile
Darth GW7:
Oh
Darth GW7:
What's that
DM:
You can't yet

Ehthos:
2 4 6 8 who do we appriciate GO Z'ar!
Darth GW7:
What bonus
Canuhearmenow:
Awww
Canuhearmenow:
ok
DM:
normal attack
Lampshade:
How come HE gets a cheer?
Nirrti:
because you're a woman
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+7 => 14 + 7 = 21
Shanto:
Cause he's attacking
Lampshade:
touche
DM:
its a ht
DM:
hit
Canuhearmenow:
You know, funny thing
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+3 => 2 + 3 = 5
DM:
roll a d100
Canuhearmenow:
We haven't killed a single humanoid yet
* Darth GW7 rolls: d100 => 39
Shanto:
He flew away
Darth GW7:
D:
Lampshade:
True
Canuhearmenow:
No bandits
Canuhearmenow:
No nothing
Lampshade:
Welcome to planescape?
DM:
Welcome to the place where everything's fucked up all the time
DM:
Darth, you hit but deal no damage
Darth GW7:
:c
Lampshade:
I like how we suddenly roll awesome
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
Fire damage
Canuhearmenow:
?
Lampshade:
When it's the real thing
Nirrti:
like grim's 0 rolls?
DM:
Nope
Nirrti:
and my 3
Lampshade:
oh right
DM:
Canu, your turn
Darth GW7:
to be honest it makes no difference
Shanto:
Darth!
Lampshade:
;(
Shanto:
Retcon the hit
Darth GW7:
no
Shanto:
And re roll!
Lampshade:
don't

Elias Guillermo:
Let us end this silly game...
Darth GW7:
not worth it
Canuhearmenow:
Cast magic missile
Darth GW7:
it's not going to bother us now
Canuhearmenow:
5th levul
Darth GW7:
it's badly wounded
Canuhearmenow:
3d4 + 3
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 3d4 + 3 => 10 + 3 = 13
Lampshade:
nice
Lampshade:
Did it die?
DM:
It already had
DM:
:\
Lampshade:
Did it die again?
DM:
The missiles strike into the fleeing Allip's body. It screams in agony and begins to uncoil, it's face bubbling away as its black, clothy skin slowly dissipates.
Lampshade:
Shit
* Elias Guillermo points at the Allip

Elias Guillermo:
He mad

Z'ar Kor:
Poor thing.
Lampshade:
The loot dropped down the chasm
GRiM:
lol
Lampshade:
lol
Darth GW7:
what loot?
DM:
It was incorporeal
DM:
How could it have loot?
Lampshade:
oh
Lampshade:
nevermind then
GRiM:
incorporeal loot
GRiM:
obviously
* Z'ar Kor approaches the pit
Lampshade:
Yay
Could not execute the command: "", exception = null
* Z'ar Kor looks down
Canuhearmenow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCN-a0NsNk
Darth GW7:
Can I judge how deep it is?
Canuhearmenow:
XP
DM:
It goes down about 40 feet
Darth GW7:
ie. can I see the bottom
DM:
200 xp for everyone
Nirrti:
throw a torch down it
Nirrti:
oh
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god
Canuhearmenow:
Climb
Canuhearmenow:
?
Jekko:
50 ft rope
GRiM:
ok

Z'ar Kor:
Finally my time to shine.
Nirrti:
jekko's got a rope
Jekko:
i have
Darth GW7:
I have rope
DM:
There's a blue light coming from it, remember? It's visible
Canuhearmenow:
I search the area before we go down
* Z'ar Kor gets out 50ft of his rope
Shanto:
So
Shanto:
Spot check?
Lampshade:
I guess
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 13 + 3 = 16
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 14 + 3 = 17
DM:
Search, surely?
* Shanto rolls: do20+3 => Invalid expression: do20+3.
Shanto:
oops
Darth GW7:
invalid expression
Canuhearmenow:
16 search
Darth GW7:
nice job breaking it her
Darth GW7:
hero
* Nirrti rolls: d20+3 => 20 + 3 = 23
Lampshade:
i that case I got 14
Nirrti:
NATURAL 20
Canuhearmenow:

* Shanto rolls: d20+3 => 5 + 3 = 8
Lampshade:
You see verything
Nirrti:
fucking spot checks
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti is the god of noncombat roles
* Jekko rolls: d20 +6 => 8 + 6 = 14
Lampshade:
everything
Nirrti:
why are you like this
Canuhearmenow:
rolls*
Lampshade:
Ironically
Shanto:
Nah Lamp is the queen
Nirrti:
i should've been a bard
Shanto:
Of noncombat wiki rolls
Nirrti:
gorramnit
Lampshade:
Yep
Lampshade:
Orc bard
Lampshade:
Like in skyrim
Nirrti:
yeah
Lampshade:
And everyone wants to kill you
Nirrti:
my singing causes saving will checks

OMG'ahr:
Well, there's something down there that casts the blue light, a headband i think?
GRiM:
ooook

Z'ar Kor:
Does anyone have any pegs? I need to secure this rope up here.
GRiM:
are me and niirti ok now:?

Elias Guillermo:
I am a poor climber
GRiM:
no longer hypno people

Ahwassa:
Same
Nirrti:
Grim, yeah, since the hypnotize was 6 and 4 rounds
Canuhearmenow:
Can I see the Headband?
Nirrti:
and rounds are like 5 or so seconds long in real time
DM:
Assuming Nirrti pointed it out to you, yeah

Z'ar Kor:
I'm going to drop a rope down for you. It won't be too hard to climb.
DM:
6 seconds a round
Canuhearmenow:
Can I roll Arcana on it now
DM:
no
Canuhearmenow:
Or do I need it in my hands
DM:
need it near you

Z'ar Kor:
We'll send a strong climber down first, to help you down.
Canuhearmenow:
kk
GRiM:
i'm a good climber
Shanto:
Me
GRiM:
i think
Shanto:
I'm the best

OMG'ahr:
How about Halfred goes first?
Shanto:
+5 mod
GRiM:
i have a +5
Shanto:
Together !
DM:
you'd get a +2 bonus if you helped each other
Nirrti:
hey i've got +5 on climb too
Shanto:
Yeah lets do that
GRiM:
yea
Canuhearmenow:
I'll search the corpses of the skeletons while they do that
Shanto:
I've got better tumble
GRiM:
ok
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 10 + 3 = 13
Lampshade:
How much fall damage do we get if we fall?
Shanto:
and stuff incase we fall
Darth GW7:
Hjort, if I carry someone, am I still able to land alright with my wings?
GRiM:
so what do we do?
* Shanto rolls: d20+5 => 11 + 5 = 16
DM:
You gonna go into the hole together?
Darth GW7:
I can't glide with a medium or heavy load
GRiM:
yes
Shanto:
18
Darth GW7:
But I still negate fall damage
Nirrti:
so who all are going down the hole
Shanto:
With the plus 2
GRiM:
and i'm helping shanto down ahead of me
GRiM:
since he's better at falling
Darth GW7:
Oh wait
Canuhearmenow:
I must go down
Darth GW7:
Never mind
Canuhearmenow:
So I can inspect headband
Nirrti:
i've got +5 on climb aswell
Lampshade:
I better too
Shanto:
We can bring it up
Shanto:
retards
Lampshade:
for religion and planar checks
DM:
You both make it down safely
Canuhearmenow:
And Arcana
Lampshade:
But it might be cursed!
GRiM:
i thought we'd roll it
* DM rolls: d100 => 96
GRiM:
but ok
DM:
Don't mind me
GRiM:
whatever
Shanto:
O.O
GRiM:
safe
GRiM:
woo
Shanto:
96
Shanto:
Wat
Nirrti:
can I go down aswell
Canuhearmenow:
there's a lich down there
Canuhearmenow:
"DID YOU MISS ME?"
Shanto:
lol
Lampshade:
Haha
Nirrti:
fuck it i'm rolling for climbing down
* Nirrti rolls: d20+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
Nirrti:
:|
Shanto:
Can I roll to catch him
Nirrti:
fuck you khorne
Canuhearmenow:
Incredible
Nirrti:
fuck
Nirrti:
you
Canuhearmenow:
YOu are a champion
Nirrti:
Shanto, i weigh 330lbs
Nirrti:
good luck catching me
Canuhearmenow:
Lardass
Lampshade:
Do it, catch him
Shanto:
I have 16 stength
Nirrti:
i have 20
Lampshade:
Well if we were really nerdy
Shanto:
FINE LET GRAVITY DEAL WITH YOU
Lampshade:
We coudl calculate the amount of force
Canuhearmenow:
No
Canuhearmenow:
Stop
GRiM:
lol
Canuhearmenow:
We ain't
GRiM:
halfing tossing
Darth GW7:
tossing
Darth GW7:
poor choice of words
GRiM:
DO EEET FAAGGET
Shanto:
ouch
Canuhearmenow:
Ok so what doth us do
Lampshade:
Where did DM go?
Shanto:
So what happens
Shanto:
To Omg
Darth GW7:
Who's down there anyway
Canuhearmenow:
While we wait for shit to happen
DM:
why did the window stop flashing?
Darth GW7:
who's made it so far
Lampshade:
No idea
Shanto:
No idea
Nirrti:
i land on shanto
Nirrti:
make it happen
Shanto:
Do you fuck
DM:
do you?
Shanto:
I am agile
DM:
I don't think that would deter him
Nirrti:
but you're not expecting it
Lampshade:
Reflex?
Shanto:
Exactly
Shanto:
Reflex
Nirrti:
well hey i dunno
Nirrti:
i rolled 8 on climbing down
Canuhearmenow:
Me Ahwassa and Halfred hang and wait for them to retrieve the Artifat
Nirrti:
the DM says what happens
Lampshade:
If he were here
DM:
With a rope and assistance?
DM:
You make it fine
Shanto:
No assistance
Shanto:
We were already down
GRiM:
yeah
GRiM:
forgot to move my token
DM:
brb a sec
Nirrti:
well i guess i made it anyways
Nirrti:
if i don't im gonna punch shanto
Shanto:
why
Nirrti:
with an axe
Shanto:
=
Shanto:

DM:
Okay
DM:
The headband. Who has it?
Darth GW7:
What headband
Lampshade:
The one that was down there....
DM:
Circlet
DM:
Headband
DM:
whatever
Darth GW7:
what
Shanto:
No one has it
GRiM:
noone picked it up

Elias Guillermo:
BRING IT UP SO WE MAY INSPECT IT
Shanto:
It's still on the ground
Darth GW7:
Is there anything else down there
Darth GW7:
do a spot check
GRiM:
i'll seach
GRiM:
search
GRiM:
for it
Darth GW7:
or that
* Shanto rolls: d20 + 3 => 20 + 3 = 23
DM:
well
Shanto:
Spot check
Darth GW7:
wow
Shanto:
search thing
* GRiM rolls: d20 +4 => 15 + 4 = 19
Darth GW7:
beautifu
GRiM:
search
Darth GW7:
BEAUTIFUL
DM:
There are a few scattered bits of treasure lying around. Some gold, some gemstones.
Lampshade:
TAKE THEM!
GRiM:
taken
DM:
The hilt of a sword encrusted with gems
GRiM:
gold and gems
GRiM:
i grab the hilt
Lampshade:
LOOOOT!
GRiM:
of the sword
Jekko:
money money
Nirrti:
goddamn where are all the magical axes
Nirrti:
you dissin' axes DM
Lampshade:
Back in the town
DM:
you will get your axe in time Nirrti
DM:
And it shall be vorpal
Darth GW7:
So what was that laughing beforehand
Darth GW7:
D:
Canuhearmenow:
When will I get my staff
Darth GW7:
I thought there was something down here
Nirrti:
yeah i get it from the last ever enemy we fight
Canuhearmenow:
I must make my staff now that I think of it
Canuhearmenow:
When will I get my robessss
Lampshade:
I guess it was the allip
DM:
ffs
DM:
why is everyone so impatient?
DM:
jeez
Lampshade:
lol
Nirrti:
WELL YOU GIVE US SWORDS
DM:
that's it, no more loot
Nirrti:
FUCK SWORDS YO
GRiM:
well you already spoke about some
Lampshade:
Hey, I haven't gotten any loot either!
GRiM:
so i'm grabbing that
Lampshade:
Do you see me complaining?
GRiM:
i said grabbed the hilt of the sword
Nirrti:
yeah but you're a woman, what kind of loot would fall into kitchen
GRiM:
i pull it up and...?
Lampshade:
-.-
Canuhearmenow:
I need to see the...
Canuhearmenow:
... Circlet
Darth GW7:
guys
Darth GW7:
don't make me come down there
Lampshade:
Give the DM some time
DM:
DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAMPAIGN AROUND
Lampshade:
haha
Darth GW7:
DON'T MAKE ROCKS FALL
Lampshade:
Are we there yet?
DM:
the ceiling looks mighty wobbly, guys
Lampshade:
Oh shit
Lampshade:
We forgot to check the ceiling!
Darth GW7:
If you mean are we at hjort's limit
Nirrti:
i'm gonna throw halfred at the ceiling
Darth GW7:
yes
Darth GW7:
yes we are
DM:
seriously, what's happening?
GRiM:
I GRABBED THE SHINY
Darth GW7:
Grim grabbed the sword hilt
Shanto:
I have no idea
Lampshade:
Xannan grabbed a sword
Shanto:
The group went
Darth GW7:
it crumbles to dust
Nirrti:
we're sitting at the bottom of the pit
Shanto:
full retard again
DM:
okay
GRiM:
THATS WHATS HAPPENIN'
Nirrti:
darth is being a greedy lizard
Darth GW7:
Is that all that's in the pit?
Darth GW7:
also wat
DM:
Grim the hilt is made of iron, plated with gold

Halfred:
take the tresure guys!
GRiM:
ok
GRiM:
you said there were other gems
GRiM:
and gold
DM:
The gems are red and blue. The gems not in the hilt are various colours - red, green, yellow, white, black, polka-dotted, purple, etc.
Nirrti:
polka-dotted
Darth GW7:
be careful
Nirrti:
you sure they're not eggs?
Lampshade:
Dosh
Lampshade:
Dosh dosh dosh
DM:
ooh, nice idea
Canuhearmenow:
Just collect them all and bring them up here
DM:
I mean
DM:
Yes
DM:
I'm sure
GRiM:
ok
GRiM:
i will
Lampshade:
Mage hand them up here
Lampshade:
You're a sorcerer for gods sake
Canuhearmenow:
I Don"T HAVE MAGE HAND
Darth GW7:
Hjort
Lampshade:
oh
Darth GW7:
Is that the whole of the pit
Canuhearmenow:
I CHOSE DISRUPT UNDEAD
Darth GW7:
Just a round hole in the ground?
Lampshade:
Oh right you took that because "we totally needed it"
Canuhearmenow:
DM
DM:
hm?
Canuhearmenow:
If I took Mage Hand
Darth GW7:
I thought the pit might continue
Canuhearmenow:
Could I levitate the circlet up here
Canuhearmenow:
Me and Ahwassa need to knowledge bang it
DM:
...
Lampshade:
That sounds dirty
DM:
interesting choice of words
Nirrti:
or just fucking wait 'till we get up geez

Xannan Hawkflight:
HOW ABOUT WE JUST CLIMB BACK UP AND GIVE IT TO YOU

Xannan Hawkflight:
THAT MAKE MORE SENSE?!

Elias Guillermo:
WELL WE'RE WAITING
Darth GW7:
Hjort

Ahwassa:
Guyes what happened?

Elias Guillermo:
They sure do like their pits
Darth GW7:
Is that all of the pit
DM:
yes Darth

Ahwassa:
First you're all silent then yelling
Darth GW7:
Is there no tunnel or anything down there
* Xannan Hawkflight and Ehthos climb up the rope
DM:
No darth
Darth GW7:
what a shitty base
Darth GW7:
just a huge room with a huge hole in the ground
Nirrti:
climb cheeck
* GRiM rolls: d20 +7 => 4 + 7 = 11
DM:
This
Lampshade:
And skeletons
DM:
This isn't the only room

Xannan Hawkflight:
make it a good one
DM:
You do realise that
DM:
Right?
* Shanto rolls: d20+7 => 1 + 7 = 8
Darth GW7:
oh
Lampshade:
Oh
Shanto:
lol
GRiM:
shit
Darth GW7:
Where are the other exits to this room
Nirrti:
ima climb out too
Lampshade:
Good thing we haven't wasted any spells then
* Nirrti rolls: d20+5 => 2 + 5 = 7
Nirrti:
:|
GRiM:
at least we were close to the ground
Darth GW7:
okay
Nirrti:
fuck climbing
Nirrti:
i'll fucking jump out
Jekko:
searching other doors
GRiM:
ooh can i try that too?
GRiM:
if i didnt break my legs ;_;
Nirrti:
40ft jump
Darth GW7:
I wish I got to fly down
Darth GW7:

Darth GW7:
also that would be like
DM:
Are we out of the pit?
Darth GW7:
200DC
GRiM:
i rolled
GRiM:
you judge dm
Nirrti:
no because i rolled 7 on climb out
DM:
That makes it out, yeah
Nirrti:
oh
GRiM:
oh
GRiM:
i got 11
GRiM:
that fine?
GRiM:
SHANTOOOOOO
DM:
Anything over 5 when you have a rope and a non-vertical surface with footholds
GRiM:
climbing up?
DM:
Shanto got an 8, didn;t he?
GRiM:
yes
Shanto:
?
Shanto:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
I wanted to glide down ;-;
Nirrti:
well glide down
Nirrti:
and stay there
DM:
Darth, lose some weight and you can glide
Darth GW7:
I did actually
Darth GW7:
The rope
Darth GW7:
Funnily enough using the rope takes me below med weight
Darth GW7:
:v
DM:
Then why the fuck did you just sit up there complaining about not being able to fly?
Lampshade:
heh

Elias Guillermo:
Can you give us the circlet?
Darth GW7:
Because everyone else went down
Darth GW7:
So I didn't need to go down
* Elias Guillermo extends his hand
DM:
d'aw
Darth GW7:
Anyway
Darth GW7:
I have to go now
Darth GW7:
Can we wrap up for now
Lampshade:
Aaww
Darth GW7:
:c
Canuhearmenow:
Can we inspect the Circlet
DM:
bedtime for little darthy
Canuhearmenow:
And THEN finish
Darth GW7:
yeah do that
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
Are we going to explore more of the cathedral

Halfred:
may i check the gems and the hilt
Canuhearmenow:
Not yet
Canuhearmenow:
Well
Darth GW7:
Or is this circlet what we want
Canuhearmenow:
Blagh
Lampshade:
Oh right, does Jekko have appraise?
Nirrti:
yeah
Nirrti:
and he's also got a magnifying glass
Lampshade:
good
Lampshade:
So
Lampshade:
religion check on circlet
Nirrti:
brb
* Lampshade rolls: d20+5 => 10 + 5 = 15
Shanto:
Right guys once the headband thing
Shanto:
is looked at
Jekko:
+2 apprase
Shanto:
I'm done
Canuhearmenow:
I check with Arcana
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 6 + 8 = 14
Lampshade:
Hjort, what knowledge would it fall under?
Canuhearmenow:
Roll Planar
DM:
arcana
DM:
or spellcraft
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 6 + 6 = 12
Canuhearmenow:
So everything's covererd
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
DM:
or cast spells on it
Canuhearmenow:
I got 14 Arcana
Canuhearmenow:
Can I roll Spellcraft now
DM:
sure
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 9 => 14 + 9 = 23
Lampshade:
Yes!
Canuhearmenow:
whisper effect?
DM:
Four ways to test an item - Spellcraft, arcana/religion, test in combat or cast spells at it
DM:
It's still a DC30 spellcraft check to identify, Canu.
Lampshade:
oh
Canuhearmenow:

Darth GW7:
except testing in combat doesn't tell us exactly what it is ;-;
DM:
But here's a hin
DM:
hint
Canuhearmenow:
YES?
Darth GW7:
because we still have no idea what my sword does
DM:
It does more than simply light up the area
GRiM:
it's your sword then>?
Darth GW7:
put it on
Darth GW7:
put it on
Canuhearmenow:
I put it on
GRiM:
ok
GRiM:
whatever
Lampshade:
Hmm
Darth GW7:
oh wow he put it on
* Elias Guillermo places the circlet upon his head
Lampshade:
Would read magic help here?
Darth GW7:
what an idiot
DM whispers: it does + 2 fire damage
DM whispers: I should have mentioned
Canuhearmenow:
I MUST KNOW
You whisper to DM: That all? Oh well :3

Xannan Hawkflight:
Hey Eli! maybe its a circlet of levitation!
DM:
You can search for inscriptions
Canuhearmenow:
Before we call it a day
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Darth GW7:
he put it on
DM whispers: It's a level 1 item ffs

Xannan Hawkflight:
jump into that chasm and we'll find out! *laughs*
Canuhearmenow:
I put it on
* Lampshade rolls: d20+1 => 2 + 1 = 3
DM:
take 20s are possible
Lampshade:
I do that
You whisper to DM: aww I thought it was level 20
DM:
Nothing happens when you put it on
Shanto:
HURRY THE FUCK UP I NEED TO DO COURSEWORK JESUS H CHRIST ALMIGHTY
Darth GW7:
^^^^^
Shanto:

Lampshade:
I take 20
DM:
:(
Canuhearmenow:
..
Canuhearmenow:
.
Lampshade:
Inscriptions?
Shanto:
Right it's useless
Canuhearmenow:
I start waving my arms around
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 14
Shanto:
Throw it back down the pit
Darth GW7:
I search for inscriptions too
Nirrti:
so what's the circlet
Lampshade:
Trying to figure it out
Darth GW7:
not that I'll understand them
Canuhearmenow:
I bet it controls the cathedra
Canuhearmenow:
l
Darth GW7:
but I can point them out
DM:
There's an inscription on the side. It's in a language you don't understand, in an alphabet that hurts your eyes to look at.
Canuhearmenow:
What language
Lampshade:
Read magic!
Nirrti:
must be anti-dragonborn
Canuhearmenow:
DO I UNDERSTAND IT
DM:
Read what I said again
GRiM:
after divvying the loot and investigating these items effects, we can end this session there right?
DM:
mhm
Lampshade:
I cast read magic on it
Darth GW7:
I need to go right now
Darth GW7:
D:

Elias Guillermo:
I'll hold onto this circlet...
Darth GW7:
or as soon as possible
Darth GW7:
so can we hurry
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 5 => 17 + 5 = 22
Canuhearmenow:
That was appraise Circlet

OMG'ahr:
How about I get something else than just gold this time, Elias

Ahwassa:
You don't even know what it does!
DM:
You can't know its full value without knowing its full effects

Ehthos:
You want to wear a little tiara Omg?

OMG'ahr:
I don't really care, it still sells for something

Ehthos:
You'll look very pretty
Lampshade:
So did read magic help?
DM:
no

OMG'ahr:
do you want a free punch in the face?
DM:
the script isn't magic

OMG'ahr:
it'll look very good on you
Canuhearmenow:
Yup, it's magic all right
Shanto:
COME AT ME BRO
Darth GW7:
it was glowing
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 1 + 3 = 4
Darth GW7:
and you say "It's magic"
DM:
...
Canuhearmenow:
That was...
Canuhearmenow:
Uhh
Nirrti:
shanto
DM:
A failure
Nirrti:
i'll punch you with an axe
Canuhearmenow:
Decipher Script
Lampshade:
haha
DM:
Right
Lampshade:
I guess we gotta take it into combat then
Shanto:
I'll crit you into the pit
DM:
You are now no longer literate
Canuhearmenow:
HURR DURR
Nirrti:
good luck doing that
DM:
Four ways to test an item - Spellcraft, arcana/religion, test in combat or cast spells at it
Darth GW7:
How are we divvying loot
Canuhearmenow:
We did that though
Darth GW7:
A gem each?
Canuhearmenow:
Arcana and Spellcraft I mean
Shanto:
Do it next time
Lampshade:
I guess I could cast a spell on it....
Lampshade:
What kind of spells
Nirrti:
i shall cast
Nirrti:
FIST
Darth GW7:
Yeah okay

Elias Guillermo:
JUST CAST ONE!
Darth GW7:
divvy loot next time
Canuhearmenow:
Hurry
Shanto:
I'm done, talk to you later guys
Lampshade:
I cast mending!
Shanto is disconnected.
DM:
Adios
Lampshade:
cya
Canuhearmenow:
Adiossss
Lampshade:
wait nvm
Lampshade:
I cast light on it
GRiM:
sigh
GRiM:
figure out what it is already
Lampshade:
Trying to!
Darth GW7:
it already glows
Canuhearmenow:
WE HAVE TO
Darth GW7:
you're casting light on it
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 3 + 8 = 11
Darth GW7:
MAKE SENSE WHY WON'T YOU
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 9 => 9 + 9 = 18
Lampshade:
I want a miniature sun!
Nirrti:
how about i hit it with an axe
Nirrti:
that'll do something
Darth GW7:
we've already pissed off the real sun
DM:
Lamp
DM:
roll a d20 + 2
Darth GW7:
now you want to make a fake one?!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 4 + 2 = 6
Lampshade:
oh
Lampshade:
shit
Darth GW7:
FFFFFF
Nirrti:
good one
Darth GW7:
I could hit it with my sword
Lampshade:
Did I die?
Darth GW7:
Does that count as casting a spell on it?
DM:
The Light spell hits the headband and there is a flash of light. Your hand is now glowing instead of the headband.
Lampshade:
Awesome
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Darth GW7:
twinklefist

Elias Guillermo:
It deflects magi

Elias Guillermo:
c

Elias Guillermo:
How delightful
DM:
Spell Resistence
* Elias Guillermo claps his hands in joy
DM:
Resistance

Ahwassa:
Well this is interesting...
DM:
That appraise check?
Canuhearmenow:
Yes
Canuhearmenow:
YeSSSS
Canuhearmenow:
22
Lampshade:
I shall ready my sense motive then
Canuhearmenow:
haha

Z'ar Kor:
Who doesn't mind wearing a girly little tiara if it protects them against spells?
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 10 => 14 + 10 = 24
Canuhearmenow:
Beat that
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 16 + 3 = 19
Lampshade:
fuck

Elias Guillermo:
It's worth around 4k gold
Lampshade:
No crit

Ahwassa:
Wow

Ahwassa:
That's more than we got from our last job

Xannan Hawkflight:
i vote we sell it
DM:
That's how RPGs work
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-1 => 13 - 1 = 12

Xannan Hawkflight:
and split the gold

Ahwassa:
And that's not counting the reward from this one
Canuhearmenow:
Haha I rolled bluff and told the truth
Darth GW7:
Sell it?
Darth GW7:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
SELL IT

Z'ar Kor:
Sell it?
Lampshade:
I say we sell it

Elias Guillermo:
Sell it!
DM:
Yes. Sell it. Heh.

Z'ar Kor:
That's a useful piece of equipment.

OMG'ahr:
Sell it.

Z'ar Kor:
...Are you kidding?

Xannan Hawkflight:
how useful is it really?
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
The way the DM said yes, sell it heh

Z'ar Kor:
It's protection from magic and you want to blow it away for some quick cash?
Canuhearmenow:
Made me think it's more.. Powerful
DM:
You won't be selling it immediately anyway
GRiM:
also metagaming

OMG'ahr:
Money's always needed
Darth GW7:
I'm not
GRiM:
DM sniggers cant influence play

Z'ar Kor:
Protection is needed more.
DM:
So you can use it for a while to gauge power, surely?

Elias Guillermo:
You know how my pockets are so secure

Halfred:
can i see the gems?

Elias Guillermo:
I'll hold onto it
Lampshade:
I think we should leave everything now
* Elias Guillermo keeps the circlet on his head

OMG'ahr:
Right, and we'll never see it again
Lampshade:
to the next session
GRiM:
can we end the session now?
Darth GW7:
Yeah
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
yeah
Lampshade:
Now we know what it is
Darth GW7:
Okay
GRiM:
saved
Darth GW7:
Pastebinning dis sheet