What can I even say? Sorry isn't enough; it's merely a word, regardless of how many times it's said. A lot of shit is going on, so I'm gonna try and keep this as simple as I can..

Yes, I do indeed have the 'scrapbook', if any doubt existed behind that. I've had it for 3 days now, and believe it or not, I partially regret the choice to redownload it (had it archived). But, as ridiculous as it sounds, I have a genuine reason for having it. I wouldn't expect you to believe me at this point, but it's something of a coping mechanism.

Sounds ridiculous, right? It is, even I know that, but it works.

My family is as dysfunctional as it gets; constant daily yelling and screaming, lack of care for those hurt, throwing blame on others, saying we "hate each other", etc. I know that doesn't sound too abnormal, but with 5 people in the house most of the day, it's incredibly stressful.

So, being able to come into my room and just listen to her music or just look at a picture for a minute or two, it relieves me of some of the stress.. to be able to escape my family and all the anger that comes with it is something I refuse to let go. Drawing used to have this same effect, but after a decade of drawing, the relaxed state is no more.

Believe me, I know how ridiculous this sounds, even I'm well aware if it, but it works. Do I need over 500? Likely not. But what I've done is done, and I really don't intend on deleting em.

Now, I do know that lying to you (and everyone) was wrong, and I'm sorry for that; I have a long history of the truth being bizzare, and so I usually lie to make it more convincing, which in retrospect, is a ridiculously stupid ideal to use. I've been lying and making excuses  to Hawkbit for around a year now, and the guilt really does hurt, and I feel terribly bad for it. I don't expect you to believe any of this, I really don't; I also don't expect you to be okay with it, or accept it. But, for once in my life, I'm being a trutha; a trend I hope to continue, whether the truth is what people want to hear, or not.

Kevin