AiE Chapter 15: Because You're My Friend

>"There's the intruder! Get him!"
"Shit, I don't see her anywhere..."
>"Block the front gate! Do not allow him in under any circumstance!"
"Pinkie!!"
Anonymous is currently running throughout the courtyard carrying a large box while a squadron of royal guards are closing in on him as he continues to call out for Pinkie Pie.
After recently forming an infiltration plan with the pink party mare Anonymous had launched Pinkie over the front gate only to have it explode seconds later.
>"I knew that human was nothing but trouble! We'll all make sure you get dungeon time for this!"
"Look it was a misunderstanding man! Just let me deliver this and I'll go!"
>"Never you terrorist!"
"Terrorist!? Fuck!...PINKIE!!"
Pinkie Pie was nowhere in sight as Anonymous continued to run throughout the courtyard and towards the main entrance.
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>Damnit.
>You couldn't see Pinkie anywhere as you kept calling out for her; it was like she dissapeared completely after the gate exploded. After you ran up to see what happened the guards immediately thought it was you, because you had been loitering with Pinkie in the courtyard for too long.
>There was currently three earth pony and two unicorn guards on your tail as you continued running up the long staircase to the large double doors that held the throne room. The three earth pony guards had long spears clenched in their mouths as they followed you up the staircase.
"Stop chasing me!"
>"You foal! You honestly think we would let you waltz into the palace while princess Celestia was absent!?"
>Celestia wasn't inside the palace?
>There goes your plan to make a mad dash to her so she would get the guards off your ass.
"Damnit!...well there's always Luna! Now, where's her room?"
>Getting Luna's help was one thing, but first you had to make it to her room; that wouldn't have been a problem if you knew where it was.
>Unfortunately you didn't; so, you'll just have to guess and check all the rooms and hope you get it right eventually.
>One of the earth pony guards behind you was suddenly sent into the air by a unicorn guard's magic; as the guard soared into the air he positioned himself into an arrow like stance and plunged straight at you with the spear in his mouth.
>You toss the box of cakes in the air and roll to the side just as the guard crashed head first into the stone staircase; the resulting crash knocked back the other two earth pony guards; but, the two unicorn guards in the back had enough time to evade and were still in pursuit of you.
>The cakes that you threw into the air were caught as you dived forward with both of your arms outstretched; the Cakes and Pinkie worked hard on this, and you would be damned if any of them got destroyed because of this bullshit.
>The entrance to the throne room was coming up, but you noticed that the large golden double doors that were usually open had been shut; probably as a result of the commotion you caused in the courtyard.
"Crap! How the hell am I supposed to get by there now!?"
>You looked around the side walls for another entrance, but to your dismay there were none; so you only had three choices: Stop and surrender to the guards, smash your way in the front gate using Rev, or run up the wall to the roof of the throne room.
>As you reached the top of the palace stairs you quickly glance around one final time to see if there were any other possible routes to take.
"...I don't see any, so I guess I have no other choice."
>You were getting ready to use Rev when the front doors to the palace cracked open; before you could say anything you were snatched inside by a pair of pink hooves.
"What the!?
>As you stumble forward with the large box you regain you balance just before hitting the ground; you turn around to see Pinkie zooming back and forth with a small hammer nailing up a large piece of wood against the golden double doors.
>After Pinkie finished she wiped a small speck of sweat away as she sighed a breath of relief.
>Pinkie Pie(Pp): "Phew! Thank Celestia I always keep a barricade set with me!"
"Pinkie! What the hell was that!?"
>Pp: "Oh this? Well I ALWAYS keep a barricade set with me for when the pony zombie apocalypse breaks out, but Twilight says I'm delirious.
>Pinkie then jumped on your shoulder and got close to your ear to whisper.
>Pp: "But between you and me, I think Twilight knows that the pony zombie apocalypse is inevitable and is trying not freak everypony out."
>Pinkie noticed you glaring at her and stopped stopped rambling.
>Pp: "What's wrong Anon?"
"We were supposed to SNEAK in Pinkie! Not blow the fucking front gate to pieces!!"
>Pp: "We ARE sneaking in silly filly! *giggle* That was just a little kicker to get things going!"
"That little 'kicker' got me labeled as a terrorist!"
>Pp: "I know! Isn't this fun?"
"...What?"
>As Pinkie fell to the ground laughing you stood there a minute in disbelief, but eventually you found yourself snickering and then laughing right along with Pinkie on the floor.
>Pinkie may be a little crazy, but she was crazy in a fun kind of way; it was hard to explain, but when you were around her it was easier to laugh at everything.
>Pp: "Hahahah!...y-you were labeled a terrorist!"
"Heh, okay, okay, we've had our little laugh; now let's find a way to...room five hundred and eleven Canterlot palace; I also need to find Luna so she can stop the guards.
>Pp: "Oh! I know where that is! It's all the way on the top floor!"
"Okay, take the lead Pinkie."
>The door Pinkie nailed shut began to shake as the guards on the opposite side tried to force it open.
"Let's get a move on Pinkie!"
>Pp: "Okie doki loki!"
>You and Pinkie ran up the stairs to the second floor as the giant golden front doors continued to rock and shake.
>The massive staircases in this palace were ridiculous to climb as you tried your best to keep up with Pinkie; who was bouncing carelessly up the stairs with little effort. Based off memory you only saw about four floors in the main section of the palace; the side towers and built on complexes may have more, but you didn't need to worry about that for now.
>All you needed to do was get this to Luna, ask for help, and hope it ends without you getting arrested...again.
>Pp: "Anon! We're almost at the top of the staircase!"
>Just as Pinkie said, the opening to the second floor came into view; however, just before reaching the top you ran in front of Pinkie.
>Pp: "What's wrong Anon?"
"Shh! Gimme a second to check on something."
>You set the box down gently and peek around the corner into the hallway of the second floor; two guards were constantly pacing the floor near the dining room area while one sat at attention in front of a large wooden door to the side.
"Okay, we need to get past that guard standing by the door first; then we can focus on the guards near the dining room."
>Pp: "Do you need another distraction?"
"No thanks Pinkie; we don't need you leveling this palace with another one of your 'kickers'."
>Pp: "Aww, okay..."
"I wish I had some rope though, it would make it alot easier."
>Pp: "Oh I have plenty of that!"
>You look back to see Pinkie rummage around her mane for a minute before pulling out a long yellow rope; the pink mare the tossed it to you with the same long smile she always wore.
"Pinkie...how do you even do that?"
>Pp: "Do what?"
"You know, the whole pulling objects out of thin air, and disappearing then reappearing thing; seriously, can you do magic?"
>Pp: "*giggle* No silly filly! I can't do magic, I'm an earth pony!"
"Then if it's not magic then what is it?"
>Pp: "Hmmm...It's a secret!"
"...Seriously?"
>Pp: "Yep!"
>You should've known better than to ask a serious question to Pinkie Pie of all ponies.
"Alright, just give me the rope and stand by the box; I'll be right back."
>Pp: "Rodger dodger!"
>You crept from around the corner and into the hallway of the second floor; keeping your head and body close to the ground as you slowly crawled towards the guard by the wooden door.
>The guard looked tired as his head tilted forward slightly, and his eyelids struggled to stay open as you slowly crept up behind him with the rope in hand.
"Just a little more."
>You eased the rope over the guards face, and just as the armored stallion had realized what was happening you quickly tugged at the rope; making it an instant restraint and silencer as it was forced into the guards mouth.
>The stallion struggled wildly as you quickly lifted him into the air and ran into a nearby room; where you dropped him on the floor and began quickly tying knots into the rope around the guard. The armored guard tried yelling for help, but his voice was hopelessly muffled against the tough material in his mouth.
>You looked around the room you had carried him in to see if you could hide him somewhere; it would be bad if a pony came in here and found him on the floor. The room appeared to be a large sitting area complete with matching white and gold chairs and benches.
>It had a good view of the palace garden from the large window surrounded by colorful flowers that stood on display in the far side of the room. You sigh to yourself as you drag the stallion across the room and into the closet in the corner.
"Sorry buddy, just sit tight here and after I get all this crap sorted out; then I'll gladly untie you."
>The guard looked terrified as you closed the door and left the room; you then gave the thumbs up to Pinkie; who then pushed the box across the hall to where you stood. As Pinkie reached you she collapsed on the ground while panting heavily.
>Pp: "Geez louise this box is heavy! You were carrying this thing?"
"Shush! Pinkie keep it down."
>You slid against the wall until you reached the far corner of the hallway; the two guards that were circling the area in front of the dining room had left, and there was currently only one guard standing in front of the staircase leading to the third floor.
"Okay, this is going smoother than expected; all we need to do is get by this guard, and we're free to get to the third floor."
>Pp: "Anon! Let me handle this one! I promise not to blow anything up."
>You stare down at Pinkie; who looked up at you pleadingly with those giant bright blue eyes of hers that sparkled in the light.
"I'm going to regret this...but go ahead Pinkie."
>Pp: "Yaaaay!"
"But remember to be QUIET."
>Pp: "Oh...okay."
>Pinkie then ran her hoof across her mouth; showing you that her lips were zipped. The pink pony then pulled a fake mustache, giant sunglasses, big nose, and a flower out from behind her; then slipped around the corner before you could say anything.
>What the hell would she need those things for?
>You peek your head around to see that Pinkie had completely vanished and was nowhere to be seen down the large hallway; the only thing you saw was the guard.
>The stallion was staring blankly into the far off distance when Pinkie emerged from underneath a banner that hung from the wall and casually walked up to the guard.
>She looked ridiculous with that fake comedy disguise and flower strapped to her, the guard threw her a stern look before approaching the poorly disguised mare.
>"This area is off limits to ponies who don't have permission to enter, so may I please have your name?"
>Pinkie cleared her throat and did her best impersonation of an old man as she began talking.
>Pp: "Excuse me young man, but I am in need of assistance; you see my flower here smells kind of funny and I would like a second opinion."
>"And you are?"
>Pp: "Oh heavens! Where are my manners? My name is Howard Bon Steinsenhammer, master gardener and flower expert; I was hired by princess Celestia to make shure all the flowers in this palace were in tip top shape, but I'm in need of assistance with this funny smelling flower."
>The guard eyed Pinkie suspiciously staring at her fake disguise thoroughly before replying.
>"Ah yes here you are Howard Bon Steinsenhammer, the Princess was expecting you to visit and provide your talents for her garden, but unfortunately she is not in the palace at the moment."
"How the hell?"
>Pp: "That's quite alright as I don't mind waiting; however, I still need a bit of assistance with this flower if you don't mind."
>"Ah yes of course."
>The guard leaned in close to the flower and sniffed just as Pinkie pulled a string that was hanging from it; releasing a small cloud of spray that made the guard fall to the ground unconscious.
>Pinkie then motioned you to come over, so you grabbed the box and ran over to the staircase.
"Pinkie just what was in that flower?"
>Pp: 'What flower?"
>You look down to see that the flower and disguise had disappeared and replaced by a widely grinning Pinkie.
"The one you just used to knock that guard out with."
>Pp: "No clue what you're talking about Anon."
"Don't play dumb I just saw you--!"
>"Hey! STOP RIGHT THERE!!"
>You were cut short by a large group of guards that charging madly in your direction.
>"There's the human that ran into the palace and locked the door!!"
"Shit!"
>"And that's the mare that blew up the front gate with a weird looking contraption!!"
>Pp: "Uh-oh."
>"GET EM!!"
>You grabbed Pinkie and threw her over your shoulder as you dashed wildly up the staircase with the guards following behind.
"Shit! This is bad! The guards from the entrance caught up!"
>Pp: "I know! And look how popular you are Anon! They're practically running over each other trying to get to you!"
"You say that like it's a good thing!"
>Pp: "It's not?"
"No Pinkie it's not! If they catch me they'll lock me up in a dungeon!"
>Pp: "What!? I thought they wanted to be your friend!"
>Pinkie then rummaged around the back of her mane and pulled out a large pink bazooka and pointed at the guards that were chasing the both of you.
>"There's that contraption again!!"
"Pinkie what the fu--!?"
>Pp: "Stay away from Anon you bullies!!!"
>Before you could react a huge explosion erupted from the bazooka; sending you, Pinkie, and the box of cakes skyrocketing into the air and straight into the middle of the third floor hallway.
>The remaining guards from the staircase emerged covered in frosting, confetti, and cake; while all the guards on the third floor started swarming around you from all sides.
"Crap...so much for the plan."
>It looked like this was as far as you and Pinkie would make it, so you started to get to your feet and prepared to surrender when Pinkie suddenly stopped you with a hoof.
>Pp: "Stay down Anon! I won't let any of them near you!"
"Pinkie this has gone on long enough, it's best just to end it here."
>Pp: "No!"
"Pinkie I'm serious! There's no point in dragging this out!"
>Pp: "There IS a point dummy!"
"No there isn't! I also don't see why you drug this out in the first place! If you had just went ahead and completed the delivery by yourself we wouldn't have went through any of this! I mean look around us Pinkie! We're surrounded! Was any of this really worth it!?"
>Pp: "Yup!"
"Why?"
>Pinkie turned around and smiled warmly at you with her light blue eyes glistening in the sunlight.
>Pp: "Because you're my friend silly filly! We started this delivery together, and we will end it together!"
>Pinkie's words stunned you for a minute.
>She considered you a friend?
>You thought of her as a good acquaintance at best, but she already thought of you as a friend.
>The guards that were watching suddenly started charging at you and Pinkie.
>"GET THEM BOTH!!"
>For the second time that day Pinkie stopped smiling and wore a serious expression as she raised her pink bazooka.
>Pp: "How many times do I have to tell you bullies?"
>You watch as confetti, balloons, glitter, cakes, cookies, bowls of punch, and other party related items went soaring in all directions as Pinkie started shooting and yelling.
>Pp: "STAY!"
>Pinkie shot the two guards standing by the forth floor staircase down with another blast of random party items.
>Pp: "AWAY!!"
>Another group of guards emerged from the staircase only to be shot down by a large table with cakes and plates on it.
>Pp: "FROM ANON!!!"
>The group of guards swarming around Pinkie were sent flying left and right as she kept firing from her bright pink bazooka, and for awhile the only thing you could see were party supplies and frosting soaring through the air.
>As Pinkie stopped firing she was panting heavily; the guards on the other hand were all either unconscious, or buried helplessly under mountains of party items. You brushed yourself off and walked over to Pinkie; who stood triumphantly with the bazooka in hoof.
"C'mon Pinkie, let's keep moving."
>Pinkie stuffed her pink bazooka back in her mane and and did a soldiers salute.
"Yes sir!"
>As Pinkie hopped on your back you ran up and grabbed the big box of cakes at the end of the hallway then proceeded to sprint up the staircase to the top floor.
>Pp: "We're almost there Anon! Room five hundred-eleven is just at the end past these stairs and at the end of the hallway!"
>As you emerged from the staircase you see that the hallway in the top floor was enormous; it had a large gold fountain that sparkling clear blue water erupted from, while gold and dark blue banners with decorations lined the walls.
>There were two giant glue doors at the end of the hallway; one with a moon engraved on the front, and one with a sun engraved in a similar fashion. You wondered why there were no guards on this floor, but soon found your answer after you hopped over a "Do Not Disturb" sign.
"Okay...room five hundred and eleven is riiiight here."
  >You stopped in front of the giant golden door with the giant sun and knocked while Pinkie wandered back to the fountain to admire it.
>Pp: "Anon look! The water changes color when you tap the fountain!"
"Hold up Pinkie, let's get this sorted out first then you can take a second to admire the palace."
>Pp: "Okie doki loki!"
>You continued to knock on the large door only to get no response whatsoever, you and Pinkie came all this way only to leave the package at someones doorstep.
"*Sigh* Fine let's just leave it here a--"
>You were interrupted by the door with the moon decoration swinging open to present princess Luna; who was yawning widely with a dark blue nightcap on, and a small brown teddy bear with a top hat that sat on top of her back; Luna appeared to be talking to it.
>Luna(L): "Come now Mr.Fuzzykins! Let us journey onward to the shower of cleanliness, so that we may be pristine for the forthcoming night!"
>Luna held the bear up with magic and started nuzzling it.
>L: "Who be'eth the strongest knight in the kingdom? Mr. Fuzzykins of course! And--"
"Umm Luna?"
>Luna suddenly turned her head to both you and Pinkie; who were staring at her as she held the teddy bear.
"..."
>Pp: "..."
>L: "..."
>The blue mare blushed a dark red as she spoke.
>L: "H-how much of that did Pinkie Pie... and the dumb monkey see?"
"I didn't see anything that happened between you and Mr. Fuzzykins."
>L: "Lies! The dumb monkey even knows Mr. Fuzzykins name!"
>Pinkie suddenly gasped as her eyes stretched to the size of saucers.
>Pp: "That. Is. The cutest bear I have ever seen!!"
>Pinkie zoomed up to the bear that was now resting on Luna's back; staring at it with wonderment.
>Pp: "Awww! It even has a wittle top hat on top of it! How cute!!!"
>L: "Yes Mr. Fuzzykins is indeed cute, but I am still wondering why the dumb monkey and Pinkie Pie are here inside the palace."
>"THERE'S THE TERRORIST AND HIS PINK ACCOMPLICE!!!"
>You turned around to see a group of guards that were emerging from the staircase; all of them were either armed with spears, or charging a spell.
"Looks like reinforcements finally caught up."
>You look back at Luna to see her glaring at you while Pinkie is beside her still staring at Mr. Fuzzykins.
"What?"
>L: "I think that the dumb monkey should explain. Now."
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>After hearing you and Pinkie's explanation Luna dismissed the guards, although some remained on the same floor because they feared something else might happen if the two of you were left unsupervised.
>Luna(L): "I will see to it that my sister recieves this incident so that in the future we can prevent mistakes like this from happening again. The dumb monkey and Pinkie Pie are free to go."
>Pinkie Pie(Pp): "Yaaay!"
"Alright thank you Luna!"
>You hugged Luna; since hugging seemed to be what most of these ponies do to show thanks, but to your surprise Luna jacked you up with magic.
>L: "And just who gave the dumb monkey permission to hug me!?"
"Woah! Woah! Chill out Luna I was just trying to thank you."
>L: "I will have to pass on your gratitude."
>And with that Luna dropped you and proceeded to walk away.
>So the night princess didn't do hugs?
>Or did that only apply to you?
>You wanted to find a way thank Luna, but she wasn't the type to just take gifts it seems.
"Oh I almost forgot! Pinkie was throwing a welcome to Ponyville party for me tonight, so if you have any free time you're more than welcome to come; you can also bring Celestia."
>Luna stopped for a moment and looked back surprisingly at you.
>L: "The dumb monkey wants me to come?"
"Sure! You just saved me and Pinkie's asses, of course you can come."
>L: "I will...see if I can come."
"Thanks that's all I needed to hear, c'mon Pinkie."
>Pp: "Right behind you Anon!"
"Cya later Luna!"
>Pp: "Bye princess Luna! Watch out for zombie ponies!"
>You and Pinkie ran down the stairs and headed for the train station, leaving a smiling princess Luna standing in the hallway.
>L: "The dumb monkey is always full of surprises..."
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The sun was now setting as Anonymous and Pinkie walked through the palace garden; giving off vibrant shades of orange, red, yellow, and purple as it sunk into the horizon.
Pinkie was bouncing beside Anonymous while he looked into the sky.
"I almost forgot to thank you as well Pinkie."
>Pinkie Pie(Pp): "Hm? For what?"
"If it hadn't had been for you I probably wouldn't have got this done."
>Pp: "That's what friends are for silly filly! I also learned from watching Dash about how to stand by your friends even when the going gets rough!"
"Still, Thank you Pinkie."
Pinkie smiled and nodded slightly.
>Pp: "Don't mention it, now let's get back to Ponyville and party!!"
As Pinkie took off running towards the train station Anonymous smirked and chased behind his new pink friend, but suddenly stopped a short distance later.
"Oh shit!"
>Pp: "What's wrong Anon?"
"I COMPLETELY forgot about the guard we tied up."
>Pp: "..."
"...We have to go untie him don't we?"
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End Of Chapter 15: Because You're My Friend