my response + going forward / ownership

all i have to really say:

regarding the whole warning after a few weeks thing -

can kind of create a loophole where people do something really stupid and then leave, come back 2-3 weeks later and not get punished for it (depending on how you look at it)

maturity thing -

i do say i’m expecting you guys to be mature and whatever like everyone else, and i do acknowledge that i don’t necessarily practice what i preach in that regard. with that being said, as of now i’m going to be following my own instructions. i have been a bit of an annoying pos and i’ll agree with anyone who says it.

going forward -

i am also going to be more mindful of any decisions i make - and not do something that totally contradicts that after i say it. things like this, the jarvis levels being unrated, ownership changes, and my personal biases are things i consider and regret and admit that i could have probably handled better.

elaborating on the ownership thing, i feel like because of these reasons, i’m not very well respected as a server owner by anyone in the staff team, or even the community here for that matter. i try and do my best really, like giving staff actual responsibilities to take care of instead of doing it all myself. i don’t think anyone on the staff team (of the era where i had total ownership) really understood the fact that as an owner i’m not supposed to do everything myself. and anytime i asked for something to be done, it either never got done due to no good reason given (example being skipping a stream day because involved members didn’t “feel like it”), or simply nobody ever regarded what i said and did what i asked. i’m not the type of owner to rule with an iron fist, i expect you guys to be able to carry your own responsibilities and make sure things get done. you aren’t just here to do things when i can’t. you’re supposed to do things and contribute regardless.

it feels like because i have such expectations for contributions, nobody really likes having me as owner due to me being “lazy”, when i just expect competence. maybe it’s due to aqua’s long rule of doing everything himself that caused you guys to never think of doing much, or maybe you guys just simply don’t like having me in the position i’m in. no matter what way i look at it, i find it extremely demotivating for me to give opportunities to actually contribute and get disrespect and lack of willingness on you guys’ end.

and on the contrary, with aqua back as owner, i feel as if i just *exist*. everyone’s more likely to listen to him than they are to me, when we’re supposed to be equals. hate to say it, but it doesn’t *feel* equal at all. i’m sure you guys would follow whatever aqua says no questions asked, which is the total opposite of the treatment i get. i’m as committed to this server as much as he is, so my question to you is - why should things be any different? what does he do to gain more respect from you than me?

overall, i’m not feeling to confident in my position and influence/power as of now, and as aqua had suggested, maybe i *should* take a bit of a break. let me know what you think after you manage to read this wall of rambling that i’m sure nobody even cares about.