Amber insults Johnny's career

Sources:
https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Plt397-CL20192911-042022.M4A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Z_S4eWac4 (volume-adjusted version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7bIyHUalDk (volume-adjusted version)

JD: There’s gotta be some f**king way. There’s gotta be some way that you’re not miserable. There’s gotta be some way that I’m not miserable. There’s gotta be some way that the sarcasm, and the condescension and all that stuff, go away, on both parts. There’s got be some understanding, there’s gotta be some liking. And that’s the problem. You don’t f**king like me, man. You don’t trust me as far as you can throw me. Our relationship has changed—

AH: You're a man who takes off every time he gets mad. What is there to trust?

JD: I think you took off too. I—

AH: Who, me? Where did I go?

JD: I don’t want to do this anymore.

AH: Here.

JD: I don’t want to do this anymore.

AH: Convenient.

JD: I don’t want to do this anymore.

AH: That’s marriage for you. That’s commitment.

JD: Well, no -

AH: What’s not to trust? What’s not to trust?

JD: I've experienced you.

AH: No, you're right, it’s someone else’s fault.

JD: No, it’s my fault for not being able to deal.

AH: No, it’s not.

JD: And it’s your fault for not being able to deal. It is.

AH: You’re right.

JD:  It is. It is right and you should -

AH: I’m so, so sorry that you’ve been pushed to this point, that all you have to do is run away to one of your other houses.

JD: To do what?

AH: Run away to one of your other houses, every time there's a fig*t. Hmm.

JD: Uh, let’s see: I was thrown out today, and then I was asked to leave tonight.

AH: Oh, you were thrown out, I’m sure that was terrible on you. You’re just—

JD: I don’t want your tricks. I don’t want your games. You’re too f**king young for me. You’ve gotta go get something that will just follow every order to the T, so you can get real sick of him.

AH: Yeah?

JD: And then go f**k a girl.

AH: Oh, okay, you got me.

JD: Maybe I was wrong, f**king eh, you know.

AH: You got me figured out.

JD: Maybe, maybe you – maybe that’s it.

AH: No, you’re right, you’re proving to me that I didn’t – everything I thought about you was wrong. That's what you're proving right now.

JD: Well, and everything I thought about you is wrong.

AH: That’s what you’re telling me.

JD: Yeah, so what’s the point?

AH: I don’t know. You tell me.

JD: So, the choice is this—

AH: Really, you're the one who’s so clever, you tell me. What’s our choices? Go on, tell me.

JD: As far as I can see—

AH: What? Nothing?

JD: No, I’m not talking to you when you’re in that f**king – You want me to talk nice -

AH: Talk to me some other time.

JD: I’ll come talk to you some other time.

AH: Maybe go to some other house.

JD: Huh?

AH: Go to the next house. Let’s play Ring Around the Rosie.

JD: Rosie.

AH: Ok. Pocketful of rosies, then. How about that? Oh yeah, I’m so confused.

JD: Ring a ring a rosie, pocketful of posies—

AH: I’m so confused. If only I could go the distance.

JD: Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

AH: I know.

JD: I don’t need this, I don’t need this. Call Io. Call Io.

AH: No. I'm not gonna f**k Io.

JD: What’s Io’s real name, Io?

AH: It’s Io.

JD: Io, Io. Yeah, well, sure.

[No talking for about 2 minutes.]

JD: Ahhh, I'm tired. Because at the end - at the end of the thing we're bringing, it’s gonna be a f**king madness. And no one really knew what to do or how to deal, so, I don't think we can fix it.

AH: No, leave it. You’ve just been playing Nintendo. Your thumb, it’s been - your thumbs have been like this.

JD: No, I didn’t.

AH: No, trust me, I’ve been watching you. Your thumbs have been like this.

JD: Did I turn it off more than once?

AH: Off, on, off, on, and then it kept popping up with this, like, white message on your phone. Your thumbs have been like this.

JD: Yeah, I’m trying to play [inaudible].

AH: No, you were trying to sleep and you were doing this. I'm sure that's fine. Not worth it.

JD: Hmm?

AH: Not worth it. Do you need your glasses, huh?

JD: Yeah, I wanna look at the phone, yeah?

AH: Do you need to look at your phone?

JD: It just basically has our recordings.

AH: Yeah, but it can record, right, without you looking at it? So I can, like, look at your eyeballs? Just stop it.

JD: Yeah but I think we should, reserve a couple more moments where—

AH: I think you should just leave it recording, and then just, like, maybe, take off your eyeglasses for a minute so I can, like, see your eyeballs once in a while when I’m speaking to you.

JD: You know what?

AH: Pardon?

JD: Why are we pretending?

AH: Who’s pretending?

JD: You’ve grown to dislike me.

AH: Um, I came over here, didn’t I?

JD: Yeah, to get your s**t.

AH: Yeah, but also to see you? So can you remove your Ray Charles sunglasses, so you can look at me?

[JD takes off his glasses.]

AH: Thank you. Thank you.

JD: You know, the idea of the whole Grammy thing, it should be fun.

AH: I’m not talking about the Grammies.

JD: What are you talking about?

AH: I’m talking to you.

JD: About?

AH: Seeing your eyeballs.

JD: I mean, before that.

AH: I think you should – I think you’re dreaming a little bit.

JD: What?

AH: No one’s talking about the Grammies, huh?

JD: Hmm?

AH: No one’s talking about the Grammies.

JD: Oh, I’m really a loser.

AH: No, you’re not a loser, you’re just asleep, or sleepy.

JD: Asleep?

AH: Sleepy.

JD: "Play" is right here?

AH: [inaudible] Hey, let it play.

JD: Let it play right here?

AH: No, let it go. It’s doing it.

JD: Oh.

AH: I love you, and I don’t want to fig*t with you. I am just like you. I am not gonna live a life, or a relationship, where every time we fig*t you leave home. So, I made one last-ditch effort.

JD: To what?

AH: To fix the curse. But it takes - it’s gonna take hard work. It’s gonna take more than this fig*t.

JD: No, not any more.

AH: It’s gonna take more.

JD: Yeah, we’ve arrived at somewhere where—

AH: It’s gonna take more than us just bailing every time we talk. And that’s me, me too. Okay? So, either you come home ’cause you wanna be home, or you wanna just split up, 'cause you wanna split up. But it's okay. I just - I’m not gonna live my life where I’m separated from my husband more than half the time, because every time we fig*t, hey, you go into a different home and run away. You awake?

JD: Mmm. That was set up to be a very nice experience. It wasn’t so bad. It was just small and weird.

AH: Okay, well, judge me all you want. At least I’m making the effort, as a man, to save what I claim to care about. And that’s more than you can say. Keep running away from it all you want, you’re not gonna find better.

JD: You will.

AH: I should. Doesn't mean I don't love you.

JD: Huh?

AH: Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna call you. Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try.

JD: I can’t hear you.

AH: Doesn't mean I didn't love you.

JD: And you didn’t love me? What? I can’t hear a word here, I’ve lost a f**king ear. Can you repeat the question?

AH: What are you talking about? I need to pee, sorry.

[Door closes, presumably AH leaving the room or house. No talking for 2.5 minutes. Door opens and AH’s footsteps return.]

AH: Still awake there?

JD: Huh?

AH: I thought you were asleep.

JD: Mind if I walk you out? Do you have a car?

[Footsteps as they both walk somewhere.]

AH: You can call me an Uber, please. I lost my phone. Not your security - I don’t want to ride with Travis, sorry.

JD: You don’t want to go with Travis?

AH: Nope.

JD: You hardly say a word to him.

AH: I’d rather take an Uber. I can’t call myself 'cause I don't have my cell phone, so make it hard for me and I’ll have to go f**king find a phone. So are you gonna do that?

JD: Do you have to jump to those conclusions? And no, I’m not gonna do that. I’m gonna walk you out there and I’m gonna get you a f**king Uber.

AH: Thank you.

JD: Okay. I think, the only thing is you continue to think f**king just s**t things about me.

AH: What s**t things have I said now?

[More footsteps as they both walk somewhere.]

JD: What do you - what do you want, man? Want to be in love with me? Do you want to be with me?

AH: You don't know?

JD: Really?

AH: Yes, obviously I do!

JD: Yes, of course. Well maybe I feel something.

AH: Love me back.

JD: Hmm?

AH: Love me back. You know you want to. Love me back.

JD: I do.

AH: Love me back.

JD: I do.

AH: Love me back!

JD: Stop f**king forcing it on your time!

AH: Back. Love me back. Don’t, please, you’re gonna make me fall, please.

JD: You’re not gonna fall.

AH: Yes you are.

JD: You have to understand. You have to understand. To love you back—

AH: Yes.

JD: I will not [inaudible]

AH: Just call an Uber.

JD: Huh?

AH: Just call an Uber. Listen to me. You don't even know what it is. It’s called Uber.

JD: I’m bringing it.

AH: Thank you. When it’s here, I’ll be up there. It’s called Uber, it’s four letters. Please go.

JD: I’ve got the four letters. I recognize that. Let's go, Amber. Come on, let’s get you out of here, ’cause you’re [inaudible].

[More footsteps as they continue to walk somewhere.]

JD: Goodbye. Are you gonna stay here?

AH: [inaudible]

JD: What? What do you want?

AH: [inaudible] Would you like me to wait outside?

JD [on the phone]: David, hey man, this is Johnny. Listen, I need an Uber sent here please. And I need Travis to, or you to, put some dough in the pocket of the Uber car that she can pay it when she gets there.

AH: No need. Not needed, thank you.

JD: Just give it to the driver.

AH: Not needed.

JD: Don’t listen to the f**king drunk girl. Just listen to the driver.

AH: Not needed. Thank you though.

JD: To the driver.

AH: Not needed.

JD: Well you know what, I don’t care, let her pay her own way home. Alright man, just get an Uber here, thanks. No need to go apes**t, you know that.

AH: Why did you do that?

JD: I’m trying to help you, trying to help you, trying to help you.

AH: You don’t have to do that.

JD: You know what, I don’t wanna help you anymore. Just f**king go home, get out of here and just f**king -

AH: I tried. I tried.

JD: Oh you really did. You really did, Amber. I give you a little bit of encouragement and you don't even know what the f**k you're doing. Rocky must have been great. Well, your Uber's on its way.

[No talking for 2 minutes. More footsteps as JD continues to walk somewhere. Sound of several doors/gates opening and closing.]

Travis McGivern (TM): Hey, boss.

JD: Yeah. Yeah, man.

TM: Do you want me to drive her back?

JD: Talk to her about it, she doesn’t want you to.

TM: Okay. Okay.

JD: So I think it’s an Uber situation, but we have to give her money, ’cause there’s no money, she doesn't have money to pay for this thing.

Travis: Okay.

JD: Where is she, outside?

Travis: I’m not sure.

[No talking for 10 minutes. More footsteps, presumably JD walking back inside. JD starts playing guitar. Then AH’s footsteps approach.]

AH: Where is it?

JD: Excuse me?

AH: Where's the Uber?

JD: It's here. It's here.

AH: Okey-dokey.

JD: Okay.

AH: Bye.

JD: [sighs]

AH: It’s not here. It’s not here. It’s not here. Why would you tell me it was here? It’s not here.

JD: Um, because -

AH: Why would you tell me it's here, when it's not here? Could you f**king be worse?

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Please? Please?

JD: I’ll go find out.

AH: Thank you, thank you so much, that means so much.

[More footsteps.]

JD: Is the Uber here?

TM: I'll ask around.

JD: [inaudible] She says I’m a f**king liar.

[More footsteps.]

JD: I'm not sure if you'll believe me, but it’ll be coming up the front of the driveway, just outside, the driveway.

AH: Oh I’m really sorry, thank you so much.

JD: Don’t.

AH: What?

JD: [inaudible]

AH: What? What? Smart a*s.

JD: [inaudible]

AH: What else, you f**king arrogant d**khead? What f**king cr*ck of bulls**t are you gonna f**king lay out, you f**king shallow [inaudible] keep you warm at night. You liar.

JD: F**king filthy wh*re.

AH: You lonely shallow insulting f**king c**ks**ker.

JD: Don’t bring men into my f**king – don’t bring men into my place.

AH: F**king c**k-s**king demon f**king child. Go f**king eat a d**k. I came here for f**king nothing. You’re a parasite.

JD: And what are you?

AH: Go f**king s**k your own d**k.

JD: Everything’s fine until it doesn’t go your way, and when it doesn’t go your way, I’m in trouble.

AH: Hear me? S**k your own d**k.

JD: And you know what? I don’t need you. I don’t want your kind of woman.

AH: S**k, s**k my d**k.

JD: I don’t want your kind of woman.

AH: S**k my d**k.

JD: I don’t want your kind of woman.

AH: S**k my d**k. Hey, guess what?

JD: I might have.

AH: S**k your d**k, man.

JD: S**k my d**k, or yours?

AH: Yours.

JD: Go find another d**k to s**k.

AH: I’m sure you will.

JD: So will you.

AH: [inaudible]

JD: Huh? What did you say? [inaudible]

AH: [inaudible]

JD: Huh?

AH: Again, it’s hard for you to understand.

JD: What are you talking about?

AH: I said, you wish. [inaudible]

JD: You had no reason to come over here.

AH: Yeah, no s**t, I made a big mistake. I wish that I f**king hadn’t.

JD: Oh yeah?

AH: I wish I f**king hadn’t! I wish I f**king hadn’t bought into any of your f**king lies, your bulls**t, your sober f**king presence, your f**king goodness, your sweetness, all the lies.

JD: Yeah.

AH: I wish I hadn’t bought into the months of you being you. I wish I hadn’t bought into the promises.

JD: I wish I hadn’t bought into—

AH: I wish I hadn’t f**king thought I could have kids with you! You’re a f**king kid yourself.

JD: I wish I hadn’t bought—

AH: I wish I hadn’t bought into any of the lies you sold, talk about fake bill of goods.

JD: Go have some f*t baby with a f**king producer who can do things for you!

AH: You are the biggest f**king seller of fake f**king bill of goods. Talk about presenting yourself as something you’re not.

JD: Presenting myself as a fake bill of goods? I f**king -

AH: S**k my d**k. S**k my d**k. S**k my d**k.

JD: You’ve left nothing and I’ve left everything, so s**k your d**k—

AH: Yeah, go on.

JD: —which is probably your next move, ’cause it’s what you f**king need.

AH: S**k it, s**k it.

JD: No, I don’t want to s**k your d**k, I don’t want nothing to do with your f**king midsection.

AH: Oh? ’Cause I really need something from you, huh?

JD: Well, go get it.

AH: ’Cause I don’t need something from you. Go on. F**king f**k yourself.

JD: [inaudible]

AH: No s**t, I don’t. Go s**k your d**k.

JD: I don’t want to.

AH: Try it. It’s gonna be the only thing you have.

JD: Well that’s not really true now, is it?

AH: Actually, it kind of is.

JD: It kind of is?

AH: Yeah.

JD: What, what are you talking about? You’ve been the one s**king it so much.

AH: What? Hmm?

JD: [laughs]  Oh, what is it?

AH: No, I’m sure Rochelle’s available.

JD: I don’t know.

AH: Call her up. I’m sure she’s available! [laughs]

JD: Maybe she is!

AH: [laughs] I’m sure she is.

JD: We’ll see.

AH: I’m sure she is.

JD: I'll let you know.

AH: Oh, I’m sure she is. Yeah, for her yoga blog. [laughs]

JD: That fake laugh, that fake laugh is too much to take.

AH: Oh, is she? No, I’m sure she's…

JD: That fake laugh. It’s so distressing me.

AH: Fake laugh? I’m sure she’s great. I’m sure she’s great.

JD: I think you’ve given some of your best performances and they are a f**king tragedy.

AH: No, no, no, you’re right, I don’t. It’s all about performance for you.

JD: It’s all about performance for you. Oh Amber, I don’t regret. I don’t regret.

AH: Oh, what else? What else? Oh come on, come on, be worse.

JD: I don’t regret.

AH: Come on, lay it on me! What else? What else other thing do you wanna add, you f**king lying piece of s**t?

JD: I can’t talk to you when you sound like quasi like a kids’ show.

AH: What? Ohhh no, I wanna know! I wanna know!

JD: Get out. Your Uber's out there.

AH: They’re good at waiting. Go get it!

JD: Yeah, I’m [inaudible].

AH: Why, is there no other place for you to run, when you have fifteen other houses to go run? Come on, go be a real married man, and go deal with your s**t the way that a man does! Go run to the next house!

JD: I wish I had never ever –

AH: Every man does! Go, run away! I know it’s hard to look at yourself.

JD: …gone through with your f**king ridiculous plan.

AH: I know, it’s hard. It’s hard. It’s hard. Poor thing.

JD: Your panicked f**king plan, screwing everybody else over to get your f**king – get what you need.

AH: You’re right, I tried! That’s what I do! [laughs]

JD: You’re the most spoiled f**king br*t. And you’ve got everybody out here almost fooled, but it don’t last long!

AH: Oh, you’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry. You’re right, you’ve got it figured out, you’ve got [laughs]

JD: I’ve been around a lot longer than you. Because you’re gonna have to figure out what you have to offer, as opposed to going out and getting your t*ts out.

AH: You’re right, that’s all I do. [laughs]

JD: Yeah!

AH: Okay.

JD: London Fields was excellent. Excellent choice.

AH: You’re right, you’re right. Back to that? Well, I wonder what else, I wonder what else we can reach for in the last six years! Oh no, it was four years ago. You’re right, there are no other things that you can say!

JD: Don’t laugh. [laughs]

AH: No, I’m not laughing!

JD: No, as a matter of fact, laughter—

AH: I’m not laughing, I’m not, it’s serious, I’m sure you can find other things. [laughs]

JD: No, I know. And str*pping, well there’s always that, you can always go back to that. For another ten years.

AH: You’re right. You can write a book. You can write a book. I know, you can write a book. Ooh, is this gonna be good for your book? Ohhhh, should I have to sign an NDA for your book?

JD: You don't even read. You won't even read it.

AH: Your book? Is this gonna be good for your book? Is this gonna go in your book?

JD: I’ll write what I want. I write what I want. I write what I want.

AH: Hey! Hey, I have a good idea! How about you sell more of your journals? You’re not a sellout or anything, let’s sell your journals. Ohhh, wait…

JD: Hey! Hey, you’re not a sellout!

AH: Hey, you’re not – no, no, you’re not selling out!

JD: You’re not selling out with Magic Mike! You don't want to sell out!

AH: No, no, no one does 21 Jump Street when they’re in their twenties! No, you’re right, that’s not selling out. Noooo! When you’re in your twenties, you should really know what you want – like selling your journals! [laughs]

JD: By the way, if you didn’t know who the f**k I was—

AH: No you’re right, go sell your journals like a real non-sellout fifty-five years old.

JD: [laughs]

AH: Oh, I’m sorry, fifty…?

JD: Six.

AH: Two? Fifty-one? I don’t know, it doesn’t matter at this point. I don’t think so.

JD: It really does.

AH: I don’t really think so. But you’re right, I mean hey, at least I didn’t do, like, a teen show or a park ride in my twenties. God, that would be like embarrassing! If only I was with someone in their fifties that could point that out to me! Magic Mike, you’re right, when I play a non-s*xualized object, okay.

JD: Yeah.

AH: Okay, wow, you’re right. You got me, you got it all figured out.

JD: You don’t even know what movies I’ve done. You don’t even take an interest. You know, ’cause I had to watch your f**king—

AH: If only I could be like you. If only I could be like you. If only I could be like you, you f**king piece of s**t! [laughs]

JD: I had to watch your f**king dreck, and you trying to, like spew out your f**king lines.

AH: You’re a joke! You’re a joke! You’re a joke! You’re a joke!

JD: Yeah, I’m the joke in the industry, Amber.

AH: [laughs] What did you say? What did you say?

JD: I’m the joke. I’m the joke in the industry.

AH: I’m sorry, I can’t really hear you! Oh I’m sorry, the reruns of all my bulls**t are playing too loud for me to hear you! I’m gonna just go and pedal my way back. Sorry, I can’t hear you! [laughs]

JD: Aquaman!

AH: Ohhh, 21 whatever it was. No one remembers anymore!

JD: I was 20. I was 20.

AH: No one cares! Hahaha. You funny washed-up piece of s**t.

JD: Washed up piece of s**t?

AH: Oh, what? Huh? What? What?

JD: Washed up piece of s**t?

AH: I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.

JD: [laughs]

AH: Oh, what? I can’t hear you again! [laughs]

JD: Your jealousy’s so tragic!

AH: I’m sorry—

JD: Your jealousy is so tragic! F**king, like, thinking that I’m going on the road with a band -

AH: Let me turn on my aid! I can’t hear you. Tell me how to be you and get it perfect, ’cause you got it all figured out.

JD: [laughs] Die.

AH: Tell me how to do it.

JD: Die.

AH: You’ve got it so figured out!

JD: ’Cause you really do.

AH: Tell me, tell me everything you know, sensei! Tell me!

JD: What you got coming out?

AH: Tell me how to do it, then! ’Cause you’re the one who’s criticizing me for it.

JD: What you got coming out? ’Cause all these directors are really interested in you.

AH: No no, really, you can really help!

JD: Yes. Yeah, I talked to Universal to fix your a*s up or whatever it was.

AH: You’re right, you did so much for me.

JD: [laughs] Still doing it.

AH: You did f**k-all for me.

JD: Bye bye.

AH: And by the way, the one thing I actually asked for your help on, was s**t. You did nothing.

JD: Okay.

AH: And, that was the one thing I've ever asked for your help on. So, let’s talk about how much you f**king helped me, Mr “I got it all figured out ’cause I didn’t do stupid movies, ever, I didn’t ever make a mistake, I did perfect all the time!”

JD: No, I did.

AH: Oh no, uh-uh, at least you didn’t do a movie where you were like –

JD: Get out, man, you’re belligerent. You’re belligerent, man.

AH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ve got it all figured out! You didn’t do Magic Mike! You’ve got it all figured out, man! You just did TV shows and f**king whatever movies, you did it all right, sensei, f**king master of f**king cinema. God, if ever I could be so brilliant!

JD: No, I did what you did, but I did it better.

AH: But since you did all that s**t, thanks for helping me with my thing that you got me in trouble with, thanks. Let me take the rap for that, and then not help me.

JD: Got you in trouble with?

AH: Yeah, thanks, big man, big man!

JD: What was it?

AH: Big f**king man!

JD: What did I get you in trouble with?

AH: Big man!

JD: You don’t even know!

AH: Only our dogs that you brought into a country with me for your movie on your f**king plane, and then you let your f**king wife take all the s**t for it? Thanks, oh just like the homewrecker s**t that you never f**king let me fig*t.

JD: Get out of my f**king life.

AH: You don't give a s**t, you’re a coward, you’re a f**king piece of s**t.

JD: Don’t –

AH: And you f**king go s**k my f**king d**k, like everyone else who f**king s**ks yours. Go f**king s**k my d**k. You f**king cowardice ball-less piece of s**t.

JD: I want nothing from you.

AH: I don’t want anything to f**king to do with you! You think I f**king want something to f**king do with you? You think I want that f**king old-a*s f**king piece of s**t?

JD: Ha!

AH: F**k you, you’re a f**king joke, man! And you’re embarrassed that I even came here to waste my time trying to get you back.

JD: Good. Go deal with that. Watch that wide load, bro.

AH: Oh, whaaat? What? What do you wanna say? What do you wanna say?

JD: I was just thinking that poor little Amber, all she wanted to do…

AH: I wanna hear what else – no, I don’t wanna hear what Amber—

JD: Hey, what was the posters on your wall when you were a kid?

AH: Um, Rosie the f**king Riveter, what were yours? Rosie the Riveter too?

JD: I don’t know.

AH: Or you wouldn’t know, 'cause you were interested in me!

JD: Your mom had some different ideas of what you had.

AH: Ask her. Call her. Let’s hear what she says. I wanna know!

JD: I've spoken to her.

AH: Ask her. Ask her! Call her right now! No, I think you should. She’s up.

JD: You think I should ask?

AH: Call her!

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Oh, you can’t understand me? Oh okay, you can’t understand me?

JD: No.

AH: How about you call her, C-A-double-L? Call her. Why don’t you pick up the phone?

JD: In my own time, I will.

AH: F-O-N-O. Why don’t you pick up the phone?

JD: F-O-N-O?

AH: Yeah, el fono, and call her. God, if only I could spell it out for you.

JD: Oh I wish you could.

AH: Oh, words are so hard for me. Let me try again. F-O-N-N? F-O-N-E, sorry! Oh, silly me. Why don’t you pick up the M-O-T-R-I-N, drop the G, pick up the P-H-O-N-E and call H-E-R?

JD: H-E-R?

AH: Sorry: her.

JD: Her. Who’s that?

AH: Guess?

JD: Your mom?

AH: Oh, you can figure it out. Look at you. I don’t have any stickers left. How will I ever reward you?

JD: Just stay out of my life.

AH: F**k you. You’re a coward. I know. And you know it. [inaudible]

JD: And you are a f**king—

AH: You’re a coward. I’ve never met a bigger coward.

JD: You’re on a tailspin into a f**king abyss.

AH: I’ve never met a bigger coward in my life.

JD: That’s cruel.

AH: I’ve never met a bigger coward in my life.

JD: Get out of here, Amber.

AH: You’re a spoiled br*t.

JD: You are a spoiled br*t. You’re the spoiled br*t.

AH: You are.

JD: And you’ve just k**led it.

AH: You just k**led it.

JD: Okay.

AH: Okay. Okay.

JD: Yeah, repeat everything I say.

AH: You repeat everything I say.

JD: You k**led it.

AH: You k**led it.

JD: Okay.

AH: Okay.

JD: Well, I don’t think we have anything else to talk about.

AH: I don’t think so either.

JD: Okay, now you’re gonna go, or I’m gonna have somebody come down here and get you.

AH: You shouldn’t.

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Yeah. Bye. Bye.

JD: Okay, bye.

AH: Bye bye.

JD: Goodbye.

AH: [inaudible]

JD: Walk.

AH: I will.

JD: Walk.

AH: Yeah, I will.

JD: Say bye-bye and walk.

AH: I will.

JD: Come on, go. Bye. f**king go.

AH: You go out in the dark, if you're in such a hurry to get out of my vicinity. Or I could just, like, sit here and take my time, and then walk whenever I want?

JD: I don’t know why. I could walk you out.

AH: No, you were gonna call help. I think that’s what you should do next.

JD: Yeah, so I don't have a f**king m*rder on my hands.

AH: Yeah.

JD: You’re sick, sick, sick.

AH: Uh-huh, yeah, you are so rude to me.

JD: F**king massively narcissistic.

AH: Big man. You’re so good.

JD: F**king clown, so into yourself.

AH: You’re such a cool guy.

JD: And your insecurities about me are—

AH: You’re such a cool guy.

JD: No I’m not.

AH: You’re a f**king joke.

JD: I’m a joke. Am I a joke in the industry?

AH: I don’t care.

JD: [laughs]

AH: Obviously, or I wouldn't be with you!

JD: Your one film.

AH: Or else I wouldn’t be with you. That’s your concern.

JD: Well—

AH: That’s the thing you obsessed with, not me, thank god. Oh, I’m sorry.

[Sound of AH reaching for a glass.]

JD: Just f**king - if you want some wine, just say it.

AH: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t…

JD: No, it’s not a free-for-all.

AH: No, no, no, you’re right, I’m sorry, should I give you money? I have money in my purse in my car.

JD: You don’t need to do that.

AH: I’ll give you five dollars.

JD: You don’t need to do that.

AH: No, I’ll give you seven. Eight?

JD: Instead of reaching for my glass, give me your f**king glass and I’ll fill it.

AH: I don’t have a glass, but I can give you nine dollars.

JD: Where’s your glass? Where’s the glass I just gave you?

AH: Can I have a sip out of yours, or are you worried about cooties?

JD: At this point, it would make sense.

AH: No, I’ll give you money.

JD: Alright, send it to me. Send it to me. There you go.

AH: I’ll give you money. I’ll give Travis money. I’ll give Travis money. I have cash in my car. And that way you don’t have to worry about the waste of money. Is it okay if I have a sip?

JD: Yeah.

AH: I mean, I won’t have more than six or seven dollars’ worth.

JD: Alright, cool, so six or seven dollars and no respect.

AH: So a sip or two?

JD: Hmm?

AH: A sip or two? So if I have more than two sips, should I write a cheque? Well, I at least have fifteen dollars, I don’t know how much I’ll have.

JD: Get out. You f**king owe me nothing. Just get out.

AH: No maybe I should give you fifteen, just in case I have three sips.

JD: I don’t want your money. I want you to drink that down, take it with you!

AH: No, in case I have three sips and maybe I should give you fifteen, but I can’t give you more ’cause I don’t wanna take more than three sips.

JD: I’ve been miserable for too long.

AH: Yeah, ooooh have you? So I should give you twenty.

JD: No.

AH: I’m sorry, I’ll give you a cheque for five, ’cause I don’t have that extra five.

JD: You want to f**k around with cheques, do you, Amber?

AH: No, you’re right, I can give you my credit card number, or I can send you like a direct deposit for seven dollars.

JD: Oh, ’cause what? Because I don’t have money, is that what it is?

AH: No, it’s because you’re worried about me taking your wine, and I understand that it’s expensive.

JD: I don’t think we’re in any friendly position for you to be reaching over for my wine.

AH: Oh! So sorry!

JD: So those days are gone.

AH: No you’re right, those days are gone. So I’ll send you money for the sips I’ve taken.

JD: I don’t care, send me f**king a picture of a pumpkin.

AH: Five? Eight? Ten? Fifteen?

JD: I don’t care, send me a TV dinner. Just give me something that says it’s over five.

AH: Okay, so like fifteen dollars?

JD: No, just walk away.

AH: I mean, I just don’t want to take advantage with a sip.

JD: Take that with you.

AH: A whole glass? But I – but you just got so upset at me taking a sip, why would I take the whole glass?

JD: Ask.

AH: You’re right, I should. So I’m asking you, should I send you five dollars or fifteen? For the sip, I mean?

JD: How about fifteen, ’cause that can go to a charity and maybe mean something.

AH: Okay, okay.

JD: Okay, let’s have it go to Art of Elysium, ’cause they’re gonna need all their help.

AH: That’s what it’s called.

JD: Art of Elysium, is that what it’s called?

AH: Mm-hm, I’ll send to them.

JD: Yeah, fifteen bucks should help them.

AH: Yeah, mm-hm. I’ll donate it in your honour, for letting me have this wine. That’s so charitable of you.

JD: I will not mention you in any interviews.

AH: You’re so good.

JD: I will not mention you in any interviews. And if asked a question, I would say you’re nothing.

AH: And I will never – I will no longer reach for a glass that you touch, because God –

JD: I wanna finish my sentence.

AH: Let’s not be sweet for a sleazy, stingy—

JD: Get out.

AH: I will leave when I want. You do not want me to call the cops. I will leave—

JD: I’ll call the cops.

AH: Good luck. Do it.

JD: Yeah.

AH: Do it right now. Do it. I’m waiting. Call them.

JD: You really wanna do this? You really wanna f**king do this? You just cannot f**king deal.

[Sounds like there might be a brief sort of struggle; I envision him pushing her out the door because AH seems to disappear for a bit.]

JD: Wow. Oh wow. Wow. What a waste. Absolute f**king waste.

[No talking for 6 minutes. Then AH returns.]

AH: I wish I hadn't come here. I wish I hadn't come here.

JD: Me too.

AH: F**k you.

JD: You came with one thing on your mind.

AH: F**k you, you piece of s**t. [inaudible] I wish I had never met you.

JD: Well, those wishes don’t come true.

AH: What, what else, what other bulls**t thing do you wanna say to me, you f**king piece of s**t?

JD: Those wishes don’t come true.

AH: What else do you wanna f**king say to me, you piece of s**t? What else? You don’t have anything else to say to me, cool.

JD: I wish you the best.

AH: Hey, why don’t you f**k yourself? Go s**k your own d**k, like you used to. Oh, and just one thing, I’ll write you a cheque for the extra sip I took. Is that okay, you stingy old f**king piece of s**t?

JD: You’re the one that brought it up.

AH: Mm-mm. You did, you said “Don’t drink my wine. That’s mine.”

JD: I didn’t say that.

AH: Oh, you didn’t?

JD: I said I didn’t think you were looking for any more.

AH: Mm-mm. Rewind. Rewind. Why don't you rewind?

JD: [sighs]

AH: [inaudible]

JD: [inaudible] would be pretty good in front of your Rocky and your Pop and your Mom.

AH: [inaudible]

JD: Huh?

AH: I hope one day you can teach your son how to be a man, because you’re so good at it. [inaudible]

JD: You –

AH: You’re a joke of a man. You’re a joke!

JD: I’ve tried so f**king hard with you.

AH: You just text it away.

JD: I’ve tried so f**king hard with you.

AH: You just text it away. Hey, if you haven’t learned this s**t in fifty-f**king-something years, you're never gonna learn. I hope to God, I hope to God, Jack’s stepfather teaches him more about being a man, than your f**king, your f**king left nut.

JD: Hey, that’s good, you gave me some s**t about my kids, just like in London [inaudible]!

[Door closed, presumably by AH leaving again.]

JD: Never again!

AH: [inaudible]

JD: Stay away!

AH: Yell about it.

JD: You don’t exist.

AH: Yell about it!

JD: You will not be getting my words.

[No talking for 4 minutes. JD starts snoring. Footsteps of AH returning.]

AH: Are you okay?

JD: [snores]

AH: Are you okay? Don’t.

JD: [snores]

AH: Johnny, are you okay? Are you okay?

JD [waking up]: Mmm?

AH: Are you okay? You passed out.

JD: I know, I put my head back, resting. James Dean, I mean James Brown gets booed off the stage.

AH: Who?

JD: James…

AH: Dean?

JD: Uh yeah…

AH: You said “James Dean”?

JD: Yeah, no, James Dean is up there too.

AH: But you said James Brown, also?

JD: What? Yes…

AH: Gets booed off the stage, you said?

JD: The -

AH: You said “James Dean, James Brown gets booed off the stage.”

JD: The James Brown thing, they’ve done this, kind of made it into a f**king thing so we go up, there’s three stages, we go and play three stages.

AH: You played three stages?

JD: We go up, we do some middling, we go on whatever one we’re on, play the gig.

AH: You played for James Dean? Is that what you said? You played the middle one?

JD: I said James Dean and I corrected it.

AH: To James Brown.

JD: I said James Brown, yeah.

AH: You don’t play with James Brown though.

JD: Hmm?

AH: I don’t think you’re playing for James Brown, are you?

JD: You never know.

AH: You don't know?

JD: Well, now I’m desperate at this point.

AH: Okay, 'cause you’re not really making a lot of sense. Hey, you know I love you.

JD: Got a funny way of showing it.

AH: So have you. You know you’re not clicking anything, right?

JD: What?

AH: You know you’re not doing anything on your phone?

JD: No, I'm just looking to see what's there.

AH: You’re not looking at anything. Nothing’s happening. You’re just doing that thing with your phone.

JD: Well, because it’s recording, so I gotta do that.

AH: But nothing's happening.



Full list of transcripts: https://pastebin.com/3zdSHmet