In which Keelut gets proselytized

<yzabtech> ==START==
<yzabtech> "DAMN IT!" Marshall shouts.
<Keelut> Keelut sticks his tongue out at Marshall, smearing the blood on his face from that righteous god damn beating he just took.
<yzabtech> "Alright, you li'l snot, let's see how you like this!"
<Keelut> "BRING IT BITCH FACE!"
<yzabtech> Marshall does that thing with whistling with two fingers in his mouth.
<yzabtech> You hear a stampede in the distance behind him, until you realize that that's actually coming from one being.
<yzabtech> A black, snake-like creature, darting towards you.
<yzabtech> Roll initiative.
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=12 ] | {15}
<yzabtech> Go first.
<Keelut> Keelut uses Break: Guts as a major, which is cast against fort
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+2
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=4 ] | {6}
<yzabtech> Nope.
<Keelut> Fuuuu
<yzabtech> End turn?
<Keelut> Yep
<Keelut> q.q
<yzabtech> The basilisk doesn't attack you.
<yzabtech> Instead it lunges in for a grapple.
<yzabtech> !roll 1d20+7
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+7 --> [ 1d20=8 ] | {15}
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+4
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=14 ] | {18}
<yzabtech> You're not grappled today.
<yzabtech> The basilisk ends its turn.
<Keelut> Keelut attempts to actually hit the fucker
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=20 ] | {23}
<Keelut> SUCK TROLL BONE MARSHALL
<Keelut> How do you want me to do a crit
<yzabtech> how crits mechanically work
<yzabtech> plus just whatever
<yzabtech> go nuts but not too nuts y'know
<Keelut> !roll 4d4+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 4d4+3 --> [ 4d4=9 ] | {12}
<yzabtech> Nice.
<yzabtech> Is that it?
<Keelut> Yep no other moves
<yzabtech> The basilisk tries to grapple you again.
<yzabtech> !roll 1d20+7
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+7 --> [ 1d20=18 ] | {25}
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+4
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=4 ] | {8}
<yzabtech> You are now in the grasp of a black slimy snake.
<yzabtech> What're you gonna do now?
<Keelut> HIT MOAR
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=4 ] | {7}
<Keelut> Or not nvm
<Keelut> End turn
<yzabtech> The basilisk gives you a very tight hug..
<yzabtech> !roll 1d20+7
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+7 --> [ 1d20=4 ] | {11}
<yzabtech> Not tight enough.
<Keelut> He just keeps flailing around with his staff
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=5 ] | {8}
<Keelut> yep
<yzabtech> No.
<yzabtech> The basilisk gives you another hug.
<yzabtech> !roll 1d20+7
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+7 --> [ 1d20=8 ] | {15}
<Keelut> Thank god for good AC
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=15 ] | {18}
<Keelut> !roll 2d4+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 2d4+3 --> [ 2d4=5 ] | {8}
<Keelut> Got a good hit finally
<yzabtech> You can tell the basilisk is almost down.
<Keelut> End turn
<yzabtech> It still wants to give you a hug though.
<yzabtech> !roll 1d20+7
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+7 --> [ 1d20=8 ] | {15}
<yzabtech> Lucky bastard.
<Keelut> Eyy
<Keelut> !roll 1d20+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=17 ] | {20}
<Keelut> !roll 2d4+3
<Kaiserbot[Dice]> rolled 2d4+3 --> [ 2d4=5 ] | {8}
<yzabtech> The basilisk explodes around you.
<yzabtech> Gain 50 XP.
<yzabtech> You are now Level 6.
<yzabtech> Build Grist: 162
<yzabtech> T1 Grist: 48
<yzabtech> T2 Grist: 20
<yzabtech> T3 Grist: 10
<Keelut> "Fuck you! What else you got?!" Keelut yells at Marshall.
<yzabtech> "Want another?!"
<Keelut> Keelut delivers the universal symbol to suck it.
<yzabtech> "Maybe your crush would actually like you if you fought more!"
<Keelut> "I don't have a crush, asshole! Go home and cry on your idiot matesprit's shoulder!"
<yzabtech> "S-s-she's- we're not there!"
<yzabtech> "And Acxiom begs to differ!"
<Keelut> "You think that name matters to me?!"
<yzabtech> "Do you think it won't?!"
<Keelut> "The only thing it'll be to me is another fuck head I killed!"
<yzabtech> "What's a mortal to a god, Keelut? He's everywhere, he defines what being killed is!"
<yzabtech> "And in the end, he's the one who's going to set us all free!"
<Keelut> He scowls, "You must've drank the highblood grub-aid or something."
<yzabtech> "What's a highblood?"
<yzabtech> "He always mentioned it."
<yzabtech> "Every time he says it, he gets this look of disgust on his face."
<yzabtech> "...you remind me of him."
<Keelut> He looks even more grossed out by that, "It's fucks with teal blood or higher. Greens aren't any better, though."
<yzabtech> "Is he not the only one?"
<yzabtech> "When I first saw him, after... the incident, I thought he was the devil."
<yzabtech> "He had horns and gray skin, just like you."
<Keelut> "What? No, of course not." He shakes his head vigorously.
<Keelut> "Why would you even think he was the only one?"
<yzabtech> "He wore robes and a long flowing cape of beige embroidered with green, and ichor ran through his veins!"
<Keelut> "What color is his blood?" Keelut demands.
<yzabtech> "I told you, ichor of gold."
<yzabtech> "Like a Greek god or something."
<yzabtech> "Never paid much attention in school. Who knew they have horns and weird skin?"
<Keelut> "he's a yellow blood?! The fuuuuuck."
<yzabtech> "What's up with that?"
<Keelut> "He's the second step up the hemospectrum." Keelut crosses his arms, "but if he's sending random assholes around to bother people he isn't acting like it."
<yzabtech> "Yeah, that's another word he says. Hemiwhatsit."
<yzabtech> "Told me to go read some books. I'm not a book guy."
<Keelut> "Why's he got humans bothering me?" He snaps
<yzabtech> "We're scouts."
<yzabtech> "We're here for big plans."
<yzabtech> "We're here to set you free."
<Keelut> "I don't want your freedom."
<Keelut> "Leave me and my friends alone."
<yzabtech> "Then never. Make. Catherine. Cry."
<Keelut> "She won't come back and bother me again, will she?!"
<yzabtech> "We're not here to bother you, we're here to set you free!"
<Keelut> "I DON'T WANT YOUR FREEDOM!" He snarls, "Keep your noses to yourself or I WILL figure out how to kill your so called god!"
<yzabtech> "I can't deal with this."
<yzabtech> "You'll eat those words."
<Keelut> "Bite me." He spits.
<yzabtech> Marshall turns around, and walks away. After a few feet, he seems to slip between planes of reality, before disappearing altogether.
<yzabtech> You have a new message.
<Keelut> Keelut sits down angrily to read it.
<yzabtech> From an unknown sender, registered as 616378696F6D.
<yzabtech> "It appears we have gotten off on the wrong strut pod."
<Keelut> if y*ure wh* i think y*u are y*u better fucking n*t message me
<yzabtech> "Keelut Asteri, I am not a force of harm but one of peace."
<Keelut> i d*nt care wh* y*u are
<yzabtech> "My disciples spread my word, to bring harmony to all Paradox Space."
<Keelut> keep it t* y*urself
<yzabtech> "You and I are the same, Keelut."
<Keelut> hell n*
<yzabtech> "Constructs of mortals, the hemospectrum, needless violence pushed us down."
<Keelut> keep y*ur cult t* y*urself
<yzabtech> "Together, we shall rise and strike back."
<Keelut> im n*t a f*ll*wer and i d*nt like y*ur face *r y*ur friends
<yzabtech> "Why do you reject my message?"
<Keelut> because i d*nt want y*ur help
<Keelut> i can take care *f myself
<Keelut> and i d*nt fucking appreciate s*m*ne meddling in my shit
<yzabtech> "So be it."
<yzabtech> "If you ever change your mind, I am always here."
<yzabtech> "Closer than you think."
<Keelut> yeah yeah stay further away than that
<yzabtech> ==END==