FAO Monsta Server

First things first – I want to apologise to Christian for the original comment (I can understand why it came across as rude), Kate for all the drama caused (I honestly did not intend to make it as big a deal as this) and to the rest of chat for catching everyone else up in what should have been a very simple situation. I hope people still managed to enjoy last night’s stream and are able to still keep up the community spirit for the rest of the week that makes the stream and server so great.

To Kate, Bryan and Hand – I apologise for the relentless messaging via whispers and Discord. I didn’t mean to ruin your days with it, or even get you caught up in it at all. I should have just let it go, allow time to pass and discuss it at a later time when everyone would be calm – but I didn’t, and I’m sorry for that. I’m on the autistic spectrum, which means I fixate on things. Most people would probably have looked at the situation, gone “well, I’m banned” and moved on from it, but it stuck in my mind and it was all I could focus on, which was why I needed to keep messaging people and try and get it resolved.

That’s not an excuse – it doesn’t stop you from being annoyed with what happened, and doesn’t make the situation better – but I hope it gives you a view into my reasoning at least. Looking back at it now, I can also see why it looked like I was spoiling for an argument, but rest assured I wasn’t. I’ve read back through the messages and can see why my tone was pretty difficult; again, I was in the heat of the moment and not looking at the full picture, and I never meant any harm.

With regards to today’s confusion in Discord – I genuinely didn’t know anything about waiting for a role. Kate; you almost certainly have said it to new people when I was in stream, but honestly when you’re talking new people through the ropes I probably zoned out because I knew it wasn’t something aimed at me. I was ready to move on and join the community again, and was frustrated when I came into Discord and apparently couldn’t chat. I wasn’t trying to be difficult or paint you in a bad light in any way, but I can see why you would think I was given how I had been before that. I’ve been trying to reach out to explain that but can’t see any way to get in touch since I seem to have been blocked on Discord, Twitch and Instagram?

I’m not asking to be welcomed back with big hugs into the community – or even let back in at all – because I know you want to give fair treatment to everyone and it wouldn’t be fair to Zombie to let me back in and not him – but I would like some acknowledgement and to be a part of the conversation. I know I’ve not acted with the most open and understanding attitude through this, but part of that has been out of frustration that I’ve had to resort to all sorts of means just to try and speak to people. Nobody would message me on Discord so I had to resort to Twitch, then when I was (understandably) banned in Twitch chat I had to resort to whispers, and then I was blocked via that too. My view all along has been that we are a community of mature adults who seem to get along with each other, and I felt that a sensible and open conversation was the best way to resolve it; not secretive whispers and instant blocks.

I am more than happy to speak to anyone via any means – my Twitch whispers are open, my Discord DMs are open, heck – I’m even willing to speak to people via email, telephone or something similar! I would just like a sensible conversation about what is going on and an opportunity to apologise properly rather than being kept away from it all.

If nothing else, please let me know that you have read this and what you want from me moving forwards.
Matt