Carpathia 01&02

--- 01.

>You ordered a 'random selection' discount Chinese pony model.
>There's a small hope inside of you that it will be something cool.
>Probably not though, since you've heard how crappy these things are.
>And a random selection model was all you could afford.
>Finally, it arrives.
>In a giant box with yellow masking tape all fucking over it.
>It seems someone spilled a mystery liquid on it as well.
"Well, let's see the damage."
>You open the box.
>Styrofoam peanuts everywhere.
>There's a piece of paper with a bunch of Chinese moon runes on it.
>Though, at the top there is some English writing.
>'Model 0023. Derby Hoobs'
>The paper falls out of your hands.
"Oh God... What have I done?"

--- 02.

>You don't know why you did it.
>No- you know exactly why you did it.
>This never ending loneliness will make the lowest man howl at the moon...
>Ah fuck, you're kind of drunk.
>Well, the Derpy Hooves pony bot is finished.
>She sits on your living room floor, still lifeless.
>You have her plugged in to your computer, still booting up.
>This 'Derby Hoobs' is a mess.
>Her mane and tail are orange.
>Fucking orange.
>And one of her wings is missing.
>You decided to attach the one wing, in the hopes she could still get some use out of it.
>Okay, so for whatever reason, the Chinese manufacturers decided to put her model number on her head.
>There is a bright red '23' stamped in the middle of her forehead.
>And last but not least: her eyes.
>Yes, they got the 'derpiness' of her eyes right.
>It's the color that's all wrong.
>To be honest, her eyes are creepy.
>They are red.
>Crimson red.
>When you first plugged her in to the computer to boot up, they glowed, then went dark again.
>It made your heart skip.
>You hope they don't glow like that when she comes to life.
>Another odd feature is that her tail is way too long.
>It's like they forgot to turn the machine off that made her tail.
>When she walks, it's going to drag on the floor behind her.
>Oh well, maybe you'll trim it up later.
>Right now, you just want to get her started up.
>And another beer...
>You get up to go to the kitchen.
>Maybe this was a mistake.
>There's no way this thing could come close to the ponies you've loved for years.
>"HELLO!"
>You almost piss yourself and drop your beer bottle on the floor.
>Turning around, you almost piss yourself again.
>Glowing crimson eyes are staring at you.
>Well, one glowing crimson eye anyway.
>Derby is smiling up at you, sitting on her haunches.
>That cheery smile with the demon eyes is seriously making the hairs on the back of your neck rise.
>But what really seems wrong-
>"MY NAME IS DERBY HOOBS. IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ANONYMOUS."
>Oh God...
>Her voice sounds just like Gilbert Gottfried.
>"I AM SO EXCITED TO START A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME FROM NOW ON."
>No.
>Fuck no.
>You run back over to your computer and start going through the software settings.
>You notice that Derby's derpy eye follows your movements while she stays facing toward your kitchen.
>There is NO way you're going to have a damn Gottfried pony.
>Finally, you find the 'voice modulator' setting.
>It's actually preset to 'Gilbert'.
>What the hell is wrong with China?
>You scroll through a rather large list of voice settings.
>At the top is the 'Derby Original' setting.
>You click that like no tomorrow.
>Looking behind you, you see Derby's eyes blink like traffic lights.
>Did she just reset?
>She looks down and her eyes suddenly focus.
>You lean over your chair closer to her.
"Hello?"
>The pony slowly turns her head to you.
>Oh fuck, that's probably the creepiest thing you've ever seen...
>She's still smiling and her blood eyes are zeroed in on you.
>She slowly stretches out her wing and raises it toward the roof.
"Um, Derby?"
>She tilts her head, still smiling.
>"Is that my name?"
>Well, her voice sounds normal.
>At least, it sounds like the Derpy Hooves from the original episode when she talked.
>Only, it sounds... Empty.
>Despite the smile, there is a definitive melancholy in her voice.
"Yes, your name is Derby. My name is Anonymous."
>You should call her Derpy.
>But, somewhere in your mind you hold on to a selfish notion.
>That is not Derpy.
>"Why am I here?"
>That catches you off guard.
>She flaps her one wing and reaches up with a hoof, touching her face.
>"What am I, Anonymous?"
>Damn.
>You're going to need another beer for this.
"You're... You're a pony, Derby."
>You don't want to tell her what she really is.
>She folds her wing to her side and nods slowly.
>Her eyes go derpy again.
>There's still that smile.
>Maybe she can't not smile?
>You get up and make to go for the kitchen again.
>"Please don't leave me."
>You stop and look back at Derby.
>In complete silence, she moved when your back was turned.
>You flinch back from the ponybot mere inches from you, looking up with those glowing eyes and that haunting smile.
>Your eyes are drawn to the '23' on her forehead.
>"Please, take Derby with you, Anonymous."
>You swallow and nod slowly.
"Okay. I'm just going into the kitchen to get a drink. You can come with, if you want?"
>Derby just stares up at you, unblinking and smiling.
"Oooookay."
>Turning around again, you walk into the kitchen.
>A quick look back and you see that Derby is following.
>She is still attached to the computer by her cord, but it unplugs and falls to the floor when she gets far enough away.
>She makes absolutely no noise when she walks.
>Her wing hangs limply down at her side, grazing the floor as she goes.
>Her tail drags like a snake behind her.
>And that smile...
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
>You give her a sad look and open the fridge.
"I'm not going anywhere, Derby. I promise I won't leave you."
>Derby sits down on the kitchen floor and her eyes focus on you again as you open a beer with shaky hands.
>"Promise... You, promise Derby. Okay."
>With a nod, she looks down at her hoof.
>You take a big drink and watch her examine herself.
"Are you okay, Derby?"
>She whispers so softly, you barely make it out.
>"I promise I am not experiencing pain..."
>You freeze in place, the hairs on your neck rising again.
"What was that?"
>Derby looks up at you again.
>Her eyes are looking in different directions.
>One at the ground, one at the beer in your hand.
>Slowly, the eyes move and focus on you.
>It takes everything you have to not look away.
>Her smile seems to get larger.
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
>You sigh and take another large drink.
"I promised I wouldn't, remember?"
>Derby finally closes her eyes.
>"I remember something. You made a promise. You promised, Anonymous."
>Her eyes open again and seem to glow brighter.
>"Anonymous promised Derby. Derby remembers. Please don't leave me."
>You won't get any sleep tonight.

--- 03.